WEBVTT - Mojo Got Busted After Work  

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<v Speaker 1>It's mojo in the morning. So I kind of embarrassed

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<v Speaker 1>doing this. But I don't know if there are any

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<v Speaker 1>people that ever do this. But I got busted not

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<v Speaker 1>going home yesterday, got the text saying, Hey, when are

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<v Speaker 1>you coming home? And I text Chelsea back, I go,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to leave here in about like thirty or

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<v Speaker 1>forty minutes, and She's like, okay, no problem. And then

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<v Speaker 1>I ended up doing something that I do every now

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<v Speaker 1>and again, and that is stop off at the strip

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<v Speaker 1>club and have myself at a stake.

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<v Speaker 2>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't ever know, although yesterday we were talking about

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<v Speaker 1>strip clubs and stuff like that, and it made me

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<v Speaker 1>think to myself, who are the guys that just go

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<v Speaker 1>to strip clubs randomly during the day, Like they go

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<v Speaker 1>and they say they're eating and stuff. But my strip

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<v Speaker 1>club is different. My strip club is the mall. I

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<v Speaker 1>like to go to the mall sometimes, and I like

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<v Speaker 1>to go like middle of the day on my way

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<v Speaker 1>home from work. I like to get myself a little

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<v Speaker 1>food out of the food court car usually well usually

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<v Speaker 1>I go to the Twelve Oaks Mall. So I'll go

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<v Speaker 1>Taco Bell and I'll just get like myself and I know,

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<v Speaker 1>it sounds weird to just say, cause why would you

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<v Speaker 1>go to Taco Bell? But everything else kind of has

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<v Speaker 1>gluten in it. You know. Back in the day, I

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<v Speaker 1>used to go to that you know, orange chicken on

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<v Speaker 1>a stick, give me the stap to get Taco Bell.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, but I but I go shopping too. I

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<v Speaker 1>go to the Apple Store and stuff like that. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>park my car up there right at the the you

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<v Speaker 1>know area where the Apple Store is, and do a

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<v Speaker 1>little walking around the mall, see the people over, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>Missus Fields or the cooks Hot Topic, hang out and

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<v Speaker 1>say hi to my friends at Hot Topic. So Chelsea goes,

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<v Speaker 1>you're not on your way home. She notices because you

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<v Speaker 1>got to find my on there. And I used to

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<v Speaker 1>get busted all the time, even before find my was

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<v Speaker 1>on there where you could track and see where you're going.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd get busted by the smell. So I'd come home home,

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<v Speaker 1>and back in the day, we used to be closer

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<v Speaker 1>to work, you know, like it was twelve minutes or something,

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<v Speaker 1>and I would go through the drive through of McDonald's,

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<v Speaker 1>or go through the drive through sometimes at you know, Chipotle,

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<v Speaker 1>and I would eat really quick and then I would

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<v Speaker 1>stop off at the shell station, which is right there

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<v Speaker 1>by my house, and I'd dump the garbage in there,

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<v Speaker 1>and then I'd come home and I'd give Chelsea a

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<v Speaker 1>hug to say, hey, honey, had a great day to go.

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<v Speaker 1>You smell like fris Do you do that? I want

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<v Speaker 1>to know if there are any listeners that do this.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to know if you are the type of

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<v Speaker 1>listener that you sneak after work and go somewhere. And

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<v Speaker 1>where do you sneak to? Because there are other places.

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<v Speaker 1>It doesn't have to be food. Alta might be one

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<v Speaker 1>of those places.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, you would never find me lying about going

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<v Speaker 3>to TJ Max.

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<v Speaker 1>Or Homegol whenever.

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<v Speaker 3>Whenever I tell Wes I'm running errands, he thinks it's

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<v Speaker 3>legit and now he knows it's It's Goods and TJ Max,

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<v Speaker 3>I mean legit.

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<v Speaker 1>If I if she knew you were no, if I

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<v Speaker 1>said to her, I'm going to the mall, she would say,

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<v Speaker 1>what do you need now? Like would be one of

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<v Speaker 1>those things, but she would not No, she wouldn't care.

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<v Speaker 1>But it was one of those things where I can

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<v Speaker 1>I tell you what I was shamed about. I was

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<v Speaker 1>shamed about because I got on the scale and I

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<v Speaker 1>gained like five or six pounds, and I was shaming,

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<v Speaker 1>and I told her, I said, I'm gonna start watching

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<v Speaker 1>what I eat during the day, and I'm gonna make

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<v Speaker 1>sure I just foku it because I'm you know, I've

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<v Speaker 1>been really good. I've been losing weight and stuff. And

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<v Speaker 1>then I realized, but I didn't want all of a

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<v Speaker 1>sudden the day after I said I'm gonna watch what

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<v Speaker 1>I eat, saying I'm going to the food court at

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<v Speaker 1>the mall. Is it ever a.

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<v Speaker 4>Situation where you know she might not like it, so

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<v Speaker 4>you bring her something back?

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<v Speaker 1>If I do the drive through on the way home,

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<v Speaker 1>what I'll do is I'll say I have a craving

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<v Speaker 1>and she'll go, what do you have a craving for?

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<v Speaker 1>And I'll tell her and she goes. I do too,

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<v Speaker 1>like like jumping on it because I feel like this

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<v Speaker 1>so often is the blow? Yeah, oh you got to

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<v Speaker 1>bring something home? Yeah, but there's just so fun. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Fat I honestly admission here, fat I admission sometimes I

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<v Speaker 1>would like to go eat before I eat, because then

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<v Speaker 1>I eat less when I'm at home and makes me

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<v Speaker 1>look like I'm being good. So sometimes I actually no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes I'll go Chipotle three hard tacos. They do that,

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<v Speaker 1>they give you the three They have a three taco

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<v Speaker 1>pack and I get three hard tacos. I'll eat those

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<v Speaker 1>as kind of an appetizer start your day. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'll eat those and then I'll go home. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>if it's a late day, like five o'clock, well, you're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna sit down and eat dinner, and then I'll be like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I don't think I'm gonna have the potatoes

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<v Speaker 1>tonight to stay.

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<v Speaker 3>And they all look at me like what, and Chelsea

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<v Speaker 3>in her heads like.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I used to throw the garbage away in my

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<v Speaker 1>garbage cans. So we have garbage cans up by our house.

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<v Speaker 1>And the problem was then at the end of dinner,

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<v Speaker 1>when you're cleaning up, you have to be the one

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<v Speaker 1>to take the garbage out so that you don't see

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<v Speaker 1>the on top McDonald's best.

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<v Speaker 3>Everybody in my house, by the way, when I take

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<v Speaker 3>out the garbage, I'm like, oh, healthy, West was a culver.

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<v Speaker 1>The evidence is in the garbe and it's tough because

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<v Speaker 1>you're throwing away a or this happens to me, you're

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<v Speaker 1>throwing away like the bag from McDonald's and then the

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<v Speaker 1>garbage guys shout out priority waste. Ninety nine point nine

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<v Speaker 1>percent of the time, you guys do a decent job

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<v Speaker 1>until you actually sometimes will leave my McDonald's bag in

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<v Speaker 1>the bottom right at the bottom of a can. Don't

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<v Speaker 1>get it all completely cleaned out.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think you still call it that cayne.

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<v Speaker 1>You gotta got the flip lit on the top of

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<v Speaker 1>the can. We call it a bin. It's not your

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<v Speaker 1>garbage can, which they don't call it a garbage bin.

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<v Speaker 1>They call it a garbage can, a trash ben. What's up, Anita?

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<v Speaker 1>How you doing good? I Needa? Where are you sneaking

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<v Speaker 1>off to after work?

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<v Speaker 5>The casino?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? You're good? Which one do you go to?

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<v Speaker 5>It just depends on what floats my boat. Really, I

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<v Speaker 5>kind of go buy all of them because I take

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<v Speaker 5>ninety four to two or from work and I don't

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<v Speaker 5>do it anymore. I used to do it, but construction

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<v Speaker 5>and crap has made it harder now. But you know, oh,

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<v Speaker 5>traffic sucks.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just going to stop at the casino and say

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<v Speaker 1>I was in.

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<v Speaker 5>Traffic, and I would do it on the way to

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<v Speaker 5>work too, if I got up really early, and I'd

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<v Speaker 5>be like laying there in red and I go.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I could get up and stop at the

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<v Speaker 1>casino on the way to work. You are an addiction,

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<v Speaker 1>by the way, call one eight hundred gambler there.

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<v Speaker 5>Anita, I don't do it anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>I gave it up.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what though, that I do hear you. There's

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<v Speaker 1>something relaxing about just sitting in there and king king exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>I get it. I like that, Angela. Where do you

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<v Speaker 1>sneak off to sneak? I sneak off to McDonald's. I'll

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<v Speaker 1>look at you.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you get what's your order?

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<v Speaker 1>Coke?

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<v Speaker 2>Coke?

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<v Speaker 1>And what's that? You know?

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<v Speaker 3>That's just a good little man.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's nothing. That's nothing for you.

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<v Speaker 4>A good sure box of McDonald fries is like top

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<v Speaker 4>five meals of all time if they make it the

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<v Speaker 4>right way with the nice salt proportion, like a good

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<v Speaker 4>McDonald fry can six.

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<v Speaker 1>And they have to cook it just right. If they

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<v Speaker 1>undercook him, which I got recently, I was really passed

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<v Speaker 1>Limp FROs by the way. I did not realize. I

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<v Speaker 1>did not realize that a small McDonald's fry still comes

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<v Speaker 1>in the small little pack the paper ones. How are

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<v Speaker 1>you ordering small McDonald fry exactly right, you do, right?

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<v Speaker 1>I shouldn't be ordering a small one.

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<v Speaker 3>Have you seen how cute the little fry boxes in

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<v Speaker 3>the Happy Meal?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes?

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<v Speaker 3>Are they little teenies? Because they're little? Yeah, they're like

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<v Speaker 3>half the size of the small.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, all that Alexis does. Forget the casino and McDonald's.

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<v Speaker 1>Where do you sneak off to after work?

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<v Speaker 2>Well?

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<v Speaker 5>My husband is He thinks I don't need it, but

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<v Speaker 5>he's quite a bit younger, so he may not know.

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<v Speaker 5>But I sneak off and get botox.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, look at you? For you, he knows a little bit.

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<v Speaker 3>Most guys don't really knock.

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<v Speaker 1>He don't. You don't look different.

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<v Speaker 5>No, it's gradual, so it's free weeks to take it. Okay, okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 5>all right, we'll keep it for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, thank you, bye, And the same as botox? Jen,

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<v Speaker 1>Where do you sneak off to after work? Jen?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes? Hi?

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<v Speaker 1>Where do you sneak off to?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh? I would like take a vacation day, but not

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<v Speaker 2>tell anybody that I was taking a vacation day. And

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<v Speaker 2>I would leave my house like I was going to work,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I would go do like a massage or

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<v Speaker 2>go to that float spa, go grab lunch where I

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<v Speaker 2>wanted to go.

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<v Speaker 1>Like the take a vacation there.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, because you always take a vacation day and you're

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<v Speaker 2>doing stuff around the house or you feel like you

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<v Speaker 2>have to do stuff around the house. So it was

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<v Speaker 2>kind of the only way I could go do that

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<v Speaker 2>and not feel guilty.

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<v Speaker 4>Do you because the only thing that I love, every

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<v Speaker 4>single thing about this, but I don't want to wake

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<v Speaker 4>up at the same time.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the only thing that would throw me.

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<v Speaker 4>Do you still wake up at the same time or

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<v Speaker 4>prepare like you're going to work or do you just

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<v Speaker 4>say I'm going in.

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<v Speaker 2>I do, but then I use no, I do, but

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<v Speaker 2>then I would go get like treat myself to a lot. Hey,

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<v Speaker 2>I would just make it a whole day for me.

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<v Speaker 2>That's all the things I loved.

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<v Speaker 1>I like. I think everybody should try that. Yeah, that's good,

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<v Speaker 1>that is a great one. What happens though, you know

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<v Speaker 1>I got disconnected with her. I was gonna say, what

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<v Speaker 1>happens though, if your your husband or your family calls

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<v Speaker 1>work to see how you're doing it, doesn't call your

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<v Speaker 1>cell phone or can't get a hold of you when

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<v Speaker 1>you're getting that hour massage they freak out, go to

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<v Speaker 1>work and don't know your car's not there? You know,

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<v Speaker 1>war roses. Hold on, Tea, we're talking about sneaking off

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<v Speaker 1>after work. Where do you sneak off to after work?

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<v Speaker 1>I go, speak out it, Spikey carrent you what's that.

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<v Speaker 3>Pikey carring?

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<v Speaker 1>I support you? Go get spicy time? What does that mean?

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<v Speaker 3>It's PG for baking cookie?

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<v Speaker 1>Wait? And who you doing this with the side of

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<v Speaker 1>course you wait? Oh, I don't support it. You're speaking

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<v Speaker 1>in uh in code, Harry. She goes and wait, you're

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<v Speaker 1>a married woman and you go to sneak off and

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<v Speaker 1>get sex from your side piece? Yes? Oh t hold

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<v Speaker 1>on now I know why she's voices. Guys. Wow, how

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<v Speaker 1>long has this been going on?

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<v Speaker 2>Realistic? Please, I'm not lying over a couple of months.

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<v Speaker 1>That's craziness. Aren't you worried you're gonna get caught? There's

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<v Speaker 1>no way that they can catch it.

0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:47.480
<v Speaker 3>You go out of town? Okay, next city over?

0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:48.000
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:51.360
<v Speaker 1>How'd you find this Spicy Time?

0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:52.959
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:54.080
<v Speaker 3>I've been knowing the question.

0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:56.080
<v Speaker 1>Do they know your husband?

0:10:57.280 --> 0:10:57.480
<v Speaker 2>Yep?

0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:03.599
<v Speaker 1>Oh? Lot? Oh Lord, have mercy.

0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:05.920
<v Speaker 3>Before I never turned if it was a girl.

0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:08.800
<v Speaker 4>And baby Jesus.

0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:09.319
<v Speaker 2>Wow.

0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:10.160
<v Speaker 5>R A T.

0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:14.600
<v Speaker 1>Will you behave yourself? That's not good, that isn't that.

0:11:15.720 --> 0:11:23.679
<v Speaker 1>I'm just going to McDonald's. Wow.