1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:07,120 Speaker 1: The Dam Ryan Show. Okay, so we have Nikki on 2 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,480 Speaker 1: the phone. He sent us an email about something that 3 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 1: kind of happened, a confrontation with her sister over Thanksgiving. So, Nikki, 4 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 1: what is going on with you for group therapy today? I? 5 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,280 Speaker 2: Well, I've been single for about nine years, I would say, 6 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 2: and I've I've dated a bit here and there, but 7 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 2: I really haven't had a boyfriend for a while. And 8 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 2: then I met this guy and there was just this 9 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:36,199 Speaker 2: really strong connection right off the bat, and I I 10 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:37,919 Speaker 2: really think that he might be the one that I'm 11 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,920 Speaker 2: going to marry. Okay, And it was It's kind of 12 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 2: like a whirlwind, you know. And he does like so 13 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 2: many really wonderful and kind things for me that I 14 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 2: really love. 15 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 1: Like what. 16 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 2: Well, like pretty much every time I see him, he 17 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 2: has some kind of like little gift for me, so 18 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 2: maybe like a candle or a Starbucks gift card. He 19 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 2: just really thoughtful. And he'll text me in the morning 20 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 2: a good morning, and every night he texted me good night, 21 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 2: and he'll say a lot of the time that we're 22 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 2: meant to be together. And we have a song he 23 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 2: sent me a buff Do you know that Savage Garden song? 24 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 2: I knew I loved you. 25 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 3: I think. 26 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,760 Speaker 4: This it's like I'm the nineties fall. 27 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,839 Speaker 5: Yeah that's the way, and back. 28 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: And forth like okay, yeah, I love that song. 29 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 2: I love that song too, so he said, that's our song. 30 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:38,400 Speaker 2: So so it's been going really, really great. But this 31 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:42,039 Speaker 2: past week I went to my grandma's for Thanksgiving and 32 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 2: he was texting me a ton and I didn't really 33 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 2: think anything of it because that's how we normally communicate. 34 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 2: And he was texting me like, how are you what 35 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 2: are you eating? What's the best dessert? Are you watching 36 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 2: the football game? You know, stuff like that. And I 37 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 2: showed my sister because I thought it was really sweet. 38 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 2: And then my sister was like, this is love bombing. 39 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 2: It's not okay, you shouldn't see him anymore. And I 40 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 2: don't know. I was just kind of taken aback by that. 41 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 2: And I don't know if I'm naive, but this is 42 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 2: this dangerous? 43 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: Is it bad? 44 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 2: I don't know. I just thought he was being sweet. 45 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 5: So you so you've been single for nine years now, 46 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 5: you think you found the one because he's doing all 47 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 5: these romantic things. 48 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 4: But your sister thinks it's love bombing. 49 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, She like, really she just made me feel really 50 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 2: bad about it, to be honest, and I thought it 51 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 2: was really so much interested in my day, in what 52 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 2: was going on. But she thinks it's love bombing. 53 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,640 Speaker 1: So my question is, you guys have been dating for 54 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:39,919 Speaker 1: how long? This is new? Right? 55 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, we've it's been almost two months. 56 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: Okay, So I mean it sounds like right off the bat, yeah, 57 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,640 Speaker 1: you like had pretty strong feelings for him, but then 58 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,080 Speaker 1: he jumped right into like what sounds like getting you 59 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: gifts and like kind of surprising you with sweet things. 60 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:56,359 Speaker 4: He sent her a song. 61 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 5: But there are people already texting saying love bomb, love bomb. 62 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 5: Somebody said, I'm such a paranoid free but I'm hearing 63 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:06,640 Speaker 5: love bombing. 64 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 1: Okay, So if you don't know what love bombing is, 65 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 1: it's basically when you start in a relationship and someone 66 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: goes like crazy with the affection, attention, gives gifts, stuff 67 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 1: like that. But it's more of like try and create 68 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: this emotional bond independence on the other person so that 69 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: the person doesn't leave. 70 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 5: Almost what's wrong with I hear what you're saying, But 71 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 5: what's wrong with me showing you affection? 72 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 4: Especially so early? 73 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,080 Speaker 5: That's when they call it the honeymoon phase, the cupcake phase, 74 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 5: when everything's like, Oh, I love you, I love you too. 75 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 1: I think there's a line that can be drawn with 76 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 1: it where it's like, if you're getting a gift every 77 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 1: single time you see each other, and you guys are 78 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: seeing each other like four days out of the seven 79 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: of the week, then that's probably a little bit too 80 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 1: much because then you're just like going to get so 81 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 1: used to that. But we're we're curious to hear what 82 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 1: you have to say, if you want to give us 83 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 1: a call. Six five one nine eight nine, Katie w B. Basically, 84 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 1: what's going on is NICKI met this guy that she's 85 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 1: been dating for a couple of months, and right off 86 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: the bat she feels like they hit it off, and 87 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: then you know, he started doing a lot of sweet things, 88 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: giving her gifts pretty consistently. He texts her a lot. 89 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 1: He apparently says that the Savage Garden song is their song. 90 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: And then over Thanksgiving and her sister was like, Ah, 91 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: this dude is love bombing you. You need to like run, 92 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: So do you feel the same. You can give us 93 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 1: a call six y one nine y nine, katiew B. 94 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,480 Speaker 1: We'd love to hear what you have to say and 95 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: if Nicky should run? First off is Alex on the phone? Hi, Hi, 96 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 1: Alex Hi. 97 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 3: First of all, love you guys so much, love your 98 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 3: morning show, Love you back. And I think that this 99 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 3: is love bombing for sure. If it feels too good 100 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 3: to be true, then it is too good to be true. 101 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 3: It's like one thing to want to be together and 102 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 3: know how your day is going, but to be checking 103 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 3: in that frequently. 104 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:52,799 Speaker 2: Its red flag? 105 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 4: How is a red flag? 106 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,040 Speaker 1: So, Alex, have you been in this position before? 107 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 5: I have? 108 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,120 Speaker 3: Okay, toxic and think about like longevity of this. You 109 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 3: cannot be checking in with each other this much twenty 110 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 3: four to seven? 111 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 5: Why not? 112 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 1: So? What what do you feel like was toxic with yours? 113 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 2: Like? 114 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: How did yours end? Was it a matter of like 115 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:13,520 Speaker 1: you did start to become like dependent on him or her? 116 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,159 Speaker 3: No, not dependent at all. I felt like there was 117 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:20,599 Speaker 3: more space that needed to be had and I wasn't 118 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,279 Speaker 3: getting it. And I feel like you've got to be 119 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 3: able to be your own person and have your person. 120 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 3: You can't rely on the other person to the extent 121 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,880 Speaker 3: that he's relying on her for happiness. 122 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:29,600 Speaker 2: It seems so. 123 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,480 Speaker 1: Then I'm assuming you ended the relationship. 124 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, many years ago, married, now two kids, okay, 125 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:35,919 Speaker 3: drop off, yeah. 126 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: Got it, got it? Okay. So Alex, you're saying it's 127 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:42,599 Speaker 1: love bombing and you think Nikki should stay get out 128 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:43,479 Speaker 1: of it. What do you think? 129 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 3: I think she seek it out of it. She's happy, 130 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 3: she's happy, but if she has to be able to 131 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 3: return that energy for the. 132 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 2: Rest of her life. 133 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,480 Speaker 1: And yeah, I don't underto it. 134 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 4: I don't get how. 135 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 5: There's so many I'm not even gonna just say women. 136 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 5: There are so many people that crave for a man 137 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 5: or a woman or anybody to give them everything on 138 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 5: the planet. I am one of those people that I 139 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 5: love to give my girlfriend a list of the world. 140 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,840 Speaker 5: We've been together going on four years, but me going 141 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 5: above and beyond, and you guys have had to talk 142 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 5: me down about buying fifteen things just because she had 143 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 5: a bad day. 144 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 1: That when you started dating her, were you constantly showing 145 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,600 Speaker 1: up and giving her a gift every single time you 146 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 1: saw her? 147 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,280 Speaker 5: Not a gift, but I was definitely on my p's 148 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 5: and q's because I had to show her that that's 149 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 5: what I wanted in life. 150 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, I wanted her. 151 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: I just think that there is a clear difference between 152 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: me interested in showing interest and love bombing. There is 153 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:31,560 Speaker 1: a difference. There is manipulation when it comes to love bombing, 154 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 1: where you are literally getting that person so hooked on 155 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 1: you that you can then potentially manipulate them later in 156 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,239 Speaker 1: the relationship. You were not doing that. You were being sweet, 157 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 1: you were doing kind things for Alyssa. And now you're 158 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: at a different phase in your life where maybe you 159 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: do all of these things that Nikki is saying, but 160 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: you guys are in a serious relationship and you've gotten 161 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 1: to that point. 162 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 5: I guess the only difference is, yeah, Nikki's case that 163 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,719 Speaker 5: this is very, very fresh. I don't know how much 164 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,719 Speaker 5: I was doing compared to this guy because it was 165 00:06:58,760 --> 00:06:59,360 Speaker 5: four years ago. 166 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 4: But he texting us that sounds called dependent. No, I'm 167 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:02,159 Speaker 4: just a lover. 168 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,640 Speaker 1: Vond is a lover. Here. We got some more people 169 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: on the phone. LeRoy's on the phone, Lera, What do 170 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: you want to say about this group therapy? 171 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 6: I think that if it is love bombing is just 172 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 6: a definition that people want to put on it. 173 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 1: You can't. 174 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 6: You're not a doctor about it. So if she likes it, 175 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 6: she likes it. Maybe her sister needs to relax and 176 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 6: stay out her business because we're all grown ups. And 177 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,880 Speaker 6: that's the problem in as well. We're in each other's 178 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 6: business too much and we're doing things. 179 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 1: Okay, Is it fair, though, to be in your sister's business, 180 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: because I think I would probably be in my sister's 181 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 1: business if I was concerned. 182 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 6: No, I really don't think it is fair to be 183 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 6: in people's business because you don't have a clue what's 184 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 6: going on in that man's mind, and you might not 185 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 6: have a clue what's going on in your sisters. 186 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 2: Just because he's. 187 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 6: Buying things, don't mean he's trying to love bombers. 188 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I just. 189 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 6: Think people stay in everybody's business way too much. It's 190 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 6: become a norm. 191 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 1: Clearra. You don't think that it was a little bit 192 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:55,119 Speaker 1: too much for him to say that this is their song? 193 00:07:56,240 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 6: Oh no, maybe he actually felt like that. And that's 194 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 6: what I'm saying. You don't really have a clue on 195 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 6: what people are feeling, so you can't put him in 196 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 6: a box. Yeah what's going on? You got to let 197 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:08,679 Speaker 6: him live their life. 198 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:10,600 Speaker 1: Okay, I mean that's a different take on it. I 199 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: appreciate you, Lee, right, Thanks so much for calling in. 200 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 1: We also have Francisco on the phone. Francisco, Nikki got 201 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 1: into a new relationship. She's been seeing this guy. He 202 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 1: gives her a lot of guests, he texts her pretty often, 203 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 1: and now he already says that they have the song 204 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: by Savage Garden. What do you think Francisco has this 205 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 1: love bombing? Should she run like her sister says or 206 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 1: stick it out? Yes? 207 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,840 Speaker 7: Hi, Good morning Jenny, Good morning bond. What First off, 208 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 7: I want to tell Nikki if she is listening, I'm 209 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:39,680 Speaker 7: just speaking from my experience. 210 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 4: Yes, I think that's important. 211 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 7: He wants you to know that from my experience. When 212 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:52,080 Speaker 7: I first met my wife, we first started talking, I 213 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:57,960 Speaker 7: knew what I wanted in life, and she fits a 214 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 7: lot of those things. Well think work. It's more, I 215 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 7: saw a lot of these characteristics in her, and from 216 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 7: the beginning I knew I loved that about her and 217 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:12,440 Speaker 7: I appreciated that. So I made sure in the beginning 218 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 7: right away to inform her and let her know that 219 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 7: this is how I'm feeling, this is what I wanted. 220 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:23,120 Speaker 7: And at the end of the day, it worked out 221 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 7: because she felt the same way and she reciprocated the 222 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,440 Speaker 7: feet at the end of the day. You know, it's 223 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 7: really up to you the way you're feeling, Nikki, and 224 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:37,200 Speaker 7: it's really it's your life at the end of the day. 225 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's your love language, and I think the relationship 226 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 5: that you develop with your partner. There's so many text 227 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,599 Speaker 5: messages coming in. A lot of people agree with that 228 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 5: last call of Leeroy. Some other people are saying this 229 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,240 Speaker 5: love bombing stuff is crazy. You can text five three, 230 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,319 Speaker 5: nine to one. By the way, love bombing stuff is crazy. 231 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 5: Let people be kind and loving and have communication. I've 232 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 5: been in a relationship for four years and I expect 233 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 5: this type of communication and being spoiled for my boyfriend, 234 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,079 Speaker 5: and he loves doing that. Let be happy, and that's 235 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 5: all I'm saying. I don't know what Nikki and this 236 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 5: guy have agreed on. I just don't see the problem 237 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,960 Speaker 5: with continuing to show your partner affection. And it's only 238 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 5: been two months, so we have to see how much 239 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 5: longer this develops. 240 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 1: I agree. I think though, on the flip side of things, 241 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 1: is like, you've never been in a position before to 242 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: have been love bombed where someone has completely like turned 243 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 1: the table on you out of nowhere after they just 244 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 1: showed you all of this like emotional connection, and then 245 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:30,400 Speaker 1: out of nowhere, they're like just kidding. So like, there 246 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,600 Speaker 1: is people who have experienced actual love bombing, and so 247 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,080 Speaker 1: they are scarred from that, and they don't want this 248 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 1: girl to get hurt the way that they did. I 249 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,720 Speaker 1: know someone I'm very close with who got love bombed 250 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:45,560 Speaker 1: reala recently and it broke her. And I literally like 251 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 1: I wanted to just shake that person, because how dare 252 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,719 Speaker 1: you pretend like you like someone so much and do 253 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:54,719 Speaker 1: kind things for them and then just be like it 254 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 1: psych just kidding and then like leave. 255 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's fine. 256 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 5: I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I'm just saying 257 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:00,840 Speaker 5: we can't jump the concludion it's only been two months 258 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 5: of this guy doing this stuff, for sure. 259 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,760 Speaker 1: I mean, obviously we don't know what their relationship actually 260 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 1: is like between the two of them. We are basing 261 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 1: this off of a two minute conversation with Nikki, but 262 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 1: I think her sister's looking out for her. If you 263 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:16,320 Speaker 1: missed it, Nikki basically was that Thanksgiving and she was 264 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: telling her sister about how this new guy she's been 265 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 1: seeing he was texting her like pretty consistently asking her 266 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 1: a million questions throughout Thanksgiving, and he also gives her 267 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,720 Speaker 1: a lot of gifts. He already has a song for them, 268 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,120 Speaker 1: and her sister was like, that's love bombing and it's 269 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: you should run. It's not okay. But yeah, so we've 270 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 1: had quite a few texts. We'll do one more phone 271 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 1: call and we're gonna wrap this up. We have Lisa 272 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,400 Speaker 1: on the phone. Hi, Lisa, Hi, what did you want 273 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,440 Speaker 1: to say about group therapy? 274 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:46,080 Speaker 8: I just went to the same thing. I start of 275 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:46,840 Speaker 8: seeing some guy. 276 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 6: He got me. 277 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 8: Roses, he told me he loved me, he sent me 278 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 8: texts all the time. But then after like a month 279 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 8: and a half, I started turning really bad. 280 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:56,960 Speaker 2: He was rude to me. 281 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 8: I felt a kindom of lies. I'm like, it was horrible. 282 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 8: But this guy that she's seeing isn't doing like, isn't lying, 283 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:10,079 Speaker 8: is still sweet, It's okay with being apart from her 284 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,319 Speaker 8: and not trying to move in or anything like that. 285 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 8: I'd tell her to take take her chances. 286 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:19,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, so you've even experienced it and you're saying, still, 287 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: maybe do it, but just be cautious because obviously, like 288 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 1: it turned for you, it turned into a pretty negative 289 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 1: situation for you. 290 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 8: Yes, very bad. Like it's like roses little sweet, nothing's 291 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:35,199 Speaker 8: always pain. I'm like to a complete listening to flying 292 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 8: to me you want to And because they couldn't move in, 293 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 8: he threw a big fit. He talked badly about me 294 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 8: to a friends and family and like that was like 295 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 8: a true case of love bombing. But if this guy 296 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,600 Speaker 8: is still doing the things for her and it's not 297 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,480 Speaker 8: fighting with her and not saying bad things about her, 298 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 8: and it's still perfect, and I tell her to take 299 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 8: my chances of okay, I like that. 300 00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 1: I mean, we've gotten a lot of different things and 301 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 1: so many text messages that have come in. We can 302 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 1: read a couple of these, but then we'll wrap up. 303 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,600 Speaker 1: Love Bombing is mostly applied when one person feels like 304 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: they're about to lose the other person, not in the 305 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 1: first phases. Someone says, someone else says, I'm a therapist. 306 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 1: And people who say love bombing is so great and 307 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,000 Speaker 1: just one way of showing affection don't truly understand what 308 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 1: love bombing is. People who are bombing do not like boundaries. 309 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 1: So she could test it by setting a small limit 310 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,800 Speaker 1: and seeing how he reacts, and if he gets upset 311 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 1: then that it would be her sign to run, and 312 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:33,840 Speaker 1: that comes from a therapist. 313 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,200 Speaker 5: Yeah, we just don't We don't know if they set boundaries, 314 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,000 Speaker 5: or if she's okay with it or what because she 315 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 5: has been fine with it. I'm just saying we cannot 316 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 5: put the we cannot jump the conclusion and say that 317 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,880 Speaker 5: he's love bombing, because if that's the case, anytime anybody 318 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,200 Speaker 5: shows any affection in a relationship, but we jump to that, 319 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:48,840 Speaker 5: I'm sorry. 320 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,439 Speaker 4: You'll probably be single for a while.