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Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. This would typically be the

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Speaker 1: on demand where you'd catch the whole show. The thing is,

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Speaker 1: the show is off for the New Year's holiday, so

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Speaker 1: it's Marcus. Producer Taylor on the mic with me Hello,

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Speaker 1: decided we were going to play a rousing rendition of

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Speaker 1: Would you Rather? New Year's Eve? Edition? Now. I have

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Speaker 1: tailored my questions around New Year's Oh okay, and they

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Speaker 1: are saucy and racy and goofy, and they're not really racy,

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Speaker 1: they're just goofy. This is producer Taylor's favorite game.

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Speaker 2: I do love this game, and one of.

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Speaker 1: The reasons we play is that I want you to

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Speaker 1: get to know her better. You've known me for thirteen years.

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Speaker 1: I'm incredibly boring, and she's new and she's lovely. She's

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Speaker 1: been very helpful. So here we go. Do you want

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Speaker 1: to start or should I start?

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Speaker 2: You start?

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Speaker 1: Okay? From my master list? Would you rather have New

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Speaker 1: Year Knew Me accidentally tattooed on your arm in a

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Speaker 1: twenty twelve font or be forced to say New Year

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Speaker 1: Knew Me out loud before every sentence you speak for

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Speaker 1: all of January.

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Speaker 2: The second one, There ain't no way I'm getting a

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Speaker 2: tattoo of New Year, New Me in twenty twelve. Font.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know what that means.

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Speaker 2: You know what, I don't want to know?

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, you go.

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Speaker 2: Okay, mine are not tailored to New Year's but that's fine.

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Speaker 1: They're worse, Okay, whatever you need to know.

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Speaker 2: Okay. Would you rather every baby you pass just starts

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Speaker 2: uncontrollably crying, or every dog you encounter peace on you?

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Speaker 1: They'll sound horrible. Can I outrun the dog or is

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Speaker 1: it automatically? So automatically just will be able to pee

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Speaker 1: on me every time?

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Speaker 2: Every time?

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Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. But that's the worst sound in

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Speaker 1: the world, a baby.

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Speaker 2: Crying, and it's only because you showed up.

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Speaker 1: All right, give me the baby? Moving on? Okay, next one,

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Speaker 1: New Year's edition. Would you rather start twenty twenty six

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Speaker 1: knowing exactly what your biggest mistake will be or knowing

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Speaker 1: exactly what your biggest win will be but not knowing

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Speaker 1: when it's coming.

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Speaker 2: Ooh, probably the win?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, that's a dumb one. That's an easy one.

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Speaker 1: Of course. We want to root for the win.

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Speaker 2: Yeah all right, well, okay.

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Speaker 1: I've been sucking so far.

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Speaker 2: You go, Okay, I'll go. Would you rather have a

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Speaker 2: free house, free food, and every single one of your

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Speaker 2: basic needs completely covered for life?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Free? Yes, to live a modest life? Or would you

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Speaker 2: rather have an army of one thousand loyal elves who

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Speaker 2: will do whatever you command?

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Speaker 1: Uh? I'm going with the free food and the free

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Speaker 1: basic needs in the free house, because then any money

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Speaker 1: that I make, I can then harness the power of

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Speaker 1: the eighth Wonder of the world, compound interest, and make

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Speaker 1: my nut for retirement. Okay, that was the most old

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Speaker 1: guy answer every that really was all right? My turn?

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Speaker 1: Would you rather which one do I want to go to?

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Speaker 1: Midnight Kiss Edition? Okay? Who would you rather make out

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Speaker 1: with on New Year's Eve?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Steve Buscemi, I.

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Speaker 2: Don't know who that is.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Great Adam Driver, I don't know who that is.

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Speaker 1: What about Pete Davidson? No, I have to go. Let

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Speaker 1: me go to my next one because that was terrible. Okay.

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Speaker 1: Would you rather start twenty twenty six with incredible luck

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Speaker 1: but terrible hair or perfect hair every day but absolutely

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Speaker 1: nothing goes your way until July?

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Speaker 2: Well, seeing as I had really bad hair last year

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Speaker 2: and I lived with it, then I'm going to go

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Speaker 2: with the bad hair.

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Speaker 1: Oh, this already happened.

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Speaker 2: I lived it all right, you go, Okay, would you

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Speaker 2: rather What'd you rather live to be one hundred years

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Speaker 2: old but you're the ugliest person in the world, or

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Speaker 2: live till you're thirty five and be the most attractive

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Speaker 2: person in the world.

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Speaker 1: I'm oh, God, can I live to sixty five? Because

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Speaker 1: I'm well past that thresh No, my life would have

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Speaker 1: been over way too many years ago. Oh no, thirty

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Speaker 1: five really strong? Yeah, because like you go out your

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Speaker 1: blaze of glory, you know what I mean? Like, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to live to be one hundred as an

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Speaker 1: ugly person.

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Speaker 2: As an ugly person, how hard your life is?

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you. Yeah, well, let me break it

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Speaker 1: down for you. It's not easy, Okay. Would you rather

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Speaker 1: start twenty twenty six thinking you absolutely nailed your New

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Speaker 1: Year's outfit and then later see photos that strongly disagree

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Speaker 1: or know you looked great but never get a single

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Speaker 1: picture of proof had.

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Speaker 2: Both actually happen? Yes, And the worst out of the

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Speaker 2: two is looking really good and not having a photo. Okay,

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Speaker 2: So I would rather think, you know, I look really

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Speaker 2: good and.

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Speaker 1: Then photos come out that you were an absolute.

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Speaker 2: Tread because I can burn them. No one needs to

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Speaker 2: see that. If they're digital, stop the internet is forever.

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Speaker 2: I hate it. Okay, uh huh? Would you rather every

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Speaker 2: time you shower the water temperature is at one hundred

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Speaker 2: and ten degrees or every time that you eat your food.

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Speaker 2: It's like, if it's a hot food, it's gonna be cold,

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Speaker 2: or if it's cold food, it's gonna be hot.

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Speaker 1: Oh, one hundred and ten degrees is very tepid.

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Speaker 2: What does that mean?

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Speaker 1: Warmish?

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Speaker 2: One hundred times warm ish?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Do you know what your water heater is set at

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Speaker 1: right now at your house, young lady? No, considering how

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Speaker 1: much hot water I assume that you and your family consume,

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Speaker 1: which is to say a lot, because the fulshood are

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Speaker 1: very what's the word I'm looking for?

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Speaker 2: Perfect?

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Speaker 1: Yes? But also, you guys are gluttonous? Is not right?

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Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know, I've met your dad. Actually,

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Speaker 1: I'm more scared of your mom. The Fulsoms go all out.

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Speaker 1: So whereas they recommend that you set your water heater

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Speaker 1: to one twenty five almost guaranteed, and go home and

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Speaker 1: ask your dad, your water heater is at least set

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Speaker 1: to one thirty right here, right now.

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Speaker 2: Guarante heay, I will have to come back and confirm

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Speaker 2: for you.

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Speaker 1: I'll bet you the captain knows what the water heater

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Speaker 1: is set at without even looking.

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Speaker 2: Probably, I'll bet you he knows everything.

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Speaker 1: He really does. God bless the captain. All right? Would

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Speaker 1: you rather your internal monologue be accidentally broadcast out loud

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Speaker 1: for the first five minutes of twenty twenty six or

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Speaker 1: have your drunk New Year's Eve texts printed and mailed

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Speaker 1: to your entire contact list?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 1: The first one literally internal monologue accidentally broadcast is what

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Speaker 1: we do for work.

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Speaker 2: I don't, right, not a hard one of my texts

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Speaker 2: are pretty bad.

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Speaker 1: I need better questions. This is terrible, let's see. No, well,

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Speaker 1: go ahead, okay.

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Speaker 2: Would you rather always smell bad and there's nothing you

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Speaker 2: can do about it? No, or never be able to

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Speaker 2: find clothes in your size ever and you can't tailor

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Speaker 2: them or anything like you're playing.

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Speaker 1: I can't go through life smelling bad. Do you know

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Speaker 1: how many people would hate you and avoid you?

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Speaker 2: It is my biggest like fear to be stinky?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and listen. I live with a lady who has

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Speaker 1: werewolf smell like there's nothing I can do about it,

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Speaker 1: So it's not fun. It's not fun. Sometimes she could

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Speaker 1: smell everything. I'm gonna go with X extra small shorts.

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Speaker 2: All right, go on, You're welcome.

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Speaker 1: Would you rather spend all of twenty twenty six constantly

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Speaker 1: running five minutes late or arrife everywhere on time? But

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Speaker 1: always forget why you walked into the room?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Nobody likes you if you're running five minutes time.

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Speaker 2: I know, and I hate when people are late, probably

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Speaker 2: probably beyond time. And forget why I walked in? Really? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I forget things so easily.

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Speaker 1: Already literally just described my life after forty anyway, So

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Speaker 1: who cares?

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Speaker 2: Uh?

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Speaker 1: Okay, go ahead, okay.

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Speaker 2: Would you rather be violently hungover on New Year's Day

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Speaker 2: or be sat next to and have to deal with

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Speaker 2: your most racist family member on Christmas?

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Speaker 1: I'm going racist family member only because I am a

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Speaker 1: champion troll and so I will troll them the whole time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you are, I'm that guy.

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Speaker 1: What about you? Well, we'll finish strong on that one

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Speaker 1: racist family member or hung violently hungover on New Year's Day.

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Speaker 2: You know I've dealt with both. I've lived these both,

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Speaker 2: and I have to say race family member for what

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Speaker 2: is a little bit better.

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Speaker 1: To be honest, but only slightly.

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Speaker 2: No. I remember I was violently hungover on New Year's

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Speaker 2: Day and we were in Utah and we went up

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Speaker 2: to the High West Distillery and I was, you know,

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Speaker 2: just hair of the dogging my way through it and

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Speaker 2: wrong decision I had. We had to pull over on

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Speaker 2: the side of the road. It wasn't pretty. Yeah, not

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Speaker 2: doing that again. So I'd rather hang out with my grandma.

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Speaker 1: Is grandma gonna be mad?

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Speaker 2: No, she can't be all right?

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Speaker 1: The Internet's forever. Next one, last.

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Speaker 2: One, This podcast is just gonna be us laughing.

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Speaker 1: Okay, last one for me? Would you rather start the

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Speaker 1: new year with a brand new planner you never open

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Speaker 1: or a completely unhinged notes app full of ideas you

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Speaker 1: swear you will quote make sense later.

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Speaker 2: I'm really good about using my planner. I don't even

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Speaker 2: think that would happen for me.

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Speaker 1: That's not the question, counsel.

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Speaker 2: Wait, what was it again? Right?

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Speaker 1: Would you rather start your new year with a brand

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Speaker 1: new planner you never open or a completely unhinged notes

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Speaker 1: app full of ideas you swear you will make happen later.

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Speaker 2: My notesop already looks like that, So I'm going that one.

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Speaker 1: That was anticlimactic. You got any more?

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Speaker 2: Yes, okay, this one isn't a would you rather? But

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Speaker 2: it's a question. Okay, Okay, you get one hundred thousand

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Speaker 2: dollars for losing one finger of your choice. Any additional

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Speaker 2: finger you lose will times ten the amount of money

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Speaker 2: you receive. How many are you losing.

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Speaker 1: The whole finger?

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Speaker 2: This is terrible, No, but it's times ten well for

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Speaker 2: each other one that you get rid of it.

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Speaker 1: See, here's the thing about this is I would automatically

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Speaker 1: say pinky, but then the second I'd drop a pinky,

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Speaker 1: that's when you realize how integral to your life your

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Speaker 1: pinky is. Like, how you gonna have that answer right now?

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Speaker 1: I can't tell you that it's impossible to type.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna say, don't you already kind of have's.

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Speaker 1: Like to type on a quirdy keyboard when you could

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Speaker 1: only use four of your fingers as terrible. So I'd

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Speaker 1: probably drop a pinky, and I think that's.

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Speaker 2: It really, So only one hundred thousand dollars.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm good with that, okay, because I could take

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Speaker 1: that and again with the investment thing. I can we

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Speaker 1: could make that happen over the next decade. Okay, what

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Speaker 1: about you, you drop more than one finger?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Probably.

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Speaker 1: I thought of losing a finger is terrible. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know they're they're functional and important.

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Speaker 2: The pinky, though, like that one is actually useful. I

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Speaker 2: feel like the ring finger, I'm getting rid of it.

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Speaker 1: Uh. I don't like to think about losing a pennages

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Speaker 1: for money.

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Speaker 2: I feel like we only really need four fingers right, all.

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Speaker 1: Right, hold up four fingers right now to the camera.

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Speaker 1: I believe, I believe. I believe we've peaked in this podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna ahead and shut her down until next year.

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Speaker 1: A I did that joke again. Hey, thank you for listening.

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Speaker 1: We just wanted to talk to you because we're not

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Speaker 1: doing the on demand this week because we're on vacation.

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Speaker 1: We hope you're having a RESTful time with your family

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Speaker 1: and we will talk. Make sure you're tuned in. We'll

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Speaker 1: be back on the air live January fifth, six am.

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Speaker 1: Not only will we have thousands of dollars with the

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Speaker 1: Base ten K day giveaway, but at scheeron tickets to

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Speaker 1: give away. Yes, all right, love you guys for listening.

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Speaker 1: We'll talk to you next time.

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Speaker 2: Bye.