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Speaker 1: It's time for the nine news nuggets. Do you need

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Speaker 1: to know?

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Speaker 2: These are the stories that otherwise fell through the cracks.

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Speaker 2: But we want to kick off your weekend just right.

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Speaker 2: What's our honorable mention?

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Speaker 1: Honorable mention not suppose to honor serving with you didn't

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Speaker 1: great and honorable modes.

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Speaker 2: So today we're holding auditions to become the newest member

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Speaker 2: of honorable Mention.

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Speaker 3: So humans went from being a body of living cells

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Speaker 3: making computers, So now we're making computers out of living cells.

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Speaker 3: H I'm very confused. Okay, so this is a little

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Speaker 3: heavy for a Friday.

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Speaker 2: This involves creating neurons, which are developed into little clusters

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Speaker 2: called organoids. Again, this is a Monday or a Tuesday

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Speaker 2: can in turn be attached to electrodes, at which point

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Speaker 2: the process of trying to use them like a mini

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Speaker 2: computer can ily begin. And they're using The thing I

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Speaker 2: don't quite understand is this company called Final Spark is

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Speaker 2: using human skin cells. Yeah, that they're buying from a

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Speaker 2: clinic in Japan because they have better skin.

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Speaker 3: It's like that popular show Monster the ed Geenes story

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Speaker 3: on Netflix, or he uses human skin to make lampshades.

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Speaker 3: Similar very right, yes, because that was late forties, early fifties.

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Speaker 3: I think when he was he was a pioneer.

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Speaker 1: Pioneer is the one way to put it.

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Speaker 2: After undergoing a process, they can last several months, these organoids.

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Speaker 2: They said, it turns out to look like just a

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Speaker 2: bunch of lab grown mini brains, little white orbs.

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Speaker 1: Almost.

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Speaker 2: Someone describes it as looking like a bowl of cottage cheese.

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Speaker 3: That's awful.

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Speaker 2: And then you're turning that into computers, little mini computers

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Speaker 2: that people are going to use.

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Speaker 3: Again, that's for a Monday ride. Should sparkle Monday is

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Speaker 3: cottage cheese? Well, a little bit of How about number nine?

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Speaker 1: A wine for nine?

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Speaker 3: I did ninth place if a cock's dirty nine times

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Speaker 3: out of tennis partners thirty.

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Speaker 1: Two and I speak nine languages basically everybody at table

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Speaker 1: lin it. I feel ready to go another nine?

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Speaker 2: And niner?

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Speaker 1: Did I get you a niner in there? Calling from

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Speaker 1: a walk?

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Speaker 3: You know? I have long had this bugaboo with the

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Speaker 3: Catholic Church, and finally the Catholic Church in Kenya is

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Speaker 3: getting it together. The wine that is served in church

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Speaker 3: is subpar. It's not good wine. It's like the JUG's

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Speaker 3: a gallow, you know, from from the eighties. Yeah, the

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Speaker 3: big old glass jugs, you know that would just sit

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Speaker 3: on the counter for seventeen.

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Speaker 1: Weeks or ninety nine for the whole ninety nine jug.

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Speaker 3: You know, you could get it at the corner store

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Speaker 3: at Chico State. That's the kind of stuff they would serve.

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Speaker 3: And you're thinking that's not the blood of Christ, like

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Speaker 3: the blood of Christ should be a nice red from paso. Right, Well, agree,

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Speaker 3: you agree.

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Speaker 1: It should taste like that, but that's not what he

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Speaker 1: would have been drinking.

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Speaker 3: I don't think you don't think. No, I think Jesus

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Speaker 3: drank some good wine.

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Speaker 1: Well he could have made it good, but because he

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Speaker 1: was Jesus. Yeah, but that But.

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Speaker 3: Do you think he observed at the Last Supper? You

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Speaker 3: think that was gallo? Yo?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, jugs of wine? What did he do with the

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Speaker 2: last Supper? He sat there and washed other people's feet.

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Speaker 3: You're damn it. You know how much wine good wine

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Speaker 3: it takes for me to start washing feet, because I

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Speaker 3: am never.

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Speaker 2: Once I ever washed good wine, bad wine, good vodka,

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Speaker 2: bad vodka.

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Speaker 1: You've never offered to wash my feet.

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Speaker 3: That's because you have never offered up your feet. I

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Speaker 3: didn't meet your feet until ten years into this program.

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Speaker 3: Had you revealed your feet in year two, by year

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Speaker 3: four or five, I'd be washing them.

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Speaker 2: It's my fault, Yes, it's my fault that Jesus drank

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Speaker 2: dirt wine.

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Speaker 3: How did Jesus devolve into.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. There's selling in Kenya.

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Speaker 2: The Catholic Church there has introduced a brand new altar

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Speaker 2: wine for Mass and it's labeled Mass Wine good Stuff,

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Speaker 2: and they're apparently selling it in bars now, so the

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Speaker 2: Catholic Church is like, maybe we need to pull back

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Speaker 2: on the marketing of Mass wine.

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Speaker 3: Well, okay, what the Catholic Church found in Kenya was

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Speaker 3: that they were selling the same stuff in the bars,

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Speaker 3: and they're like, we can't have that. Our wine a

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Speaker 3: special wine. It's holy wine, it's the blood of Christ.

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Speaker 3: So now they're getting better wine than the stuff that

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Speaker 3: they're serving in the bars. That was why I was

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Speaker 3: giving them a round of applause, because we don't do

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Speaker 3: that here in this land. We still serve the ass wine.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to add not that wine is served

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Speaker 3: in church. Like, I get it.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna give a lot of heat on that wine.

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Speaker 2: I know what you mean, but that is interesting. I

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Speaker 2: would ask I'm going to ask some people that I

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Speaker 2: know what kind of wine was it? Was it good wine?

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Speaker 1: Was it beat? Was it for this up?

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Speaker 3: Doesn't Jesus deserve better wine in the year of our

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Speaker 3: Lord twenty twenty five?

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Speaker 2: And it's not what he deserves, it's it's what he

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Speaker 2: would have put up with where he hung out with

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Speaker 2: some bad people who probably were not in a place

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Speaker 2: where they were gonna be able to afford the malt liquor.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, n all, screw top night train wine.

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Speaker 3: You ever stand in a line and drink peppermint peppermint

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Speaker 3: schnapps straight out of the plastic pint because it's all

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Speaker 3: you could get your hands on. Yes, we too have

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Speaker 3: lived like Jesus, but we also enjoy a good glass

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Speaker 3: of wine. Number eight.

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Speaker 1: Church you we're going to play under the every eight seconds.

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Speaker 2: Her boss has drawn on about mission statements. All right,

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Speaker 2: Boeing seven thirty sevens probably one of the more you

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Speaker 2: biquitous airplanes. Uh, Southwest flies them, Alaska flies them. Every

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Speaker 2: airline has at least some seven thirty sevens, and some

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Speaker 2: airlines are made up entirely at seven thirty sevens.

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Speaker 1: And now can a Nadian airline.

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Speaker 2: West Jet has introduced some updated cabin interiors on their

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Speaker 2: Boeings three distinct seat classes, and they'll charge you for

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Speaker 2: a seat that reclines.

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Speaker 3: Are you a recliner or a non recliner.

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Speaker 1: I generally I'm fifty to fifty.

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Speaker 2: By the time I sit down and start whatever, doing

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Speaker 2: reading or watching, I forget that my seat can recline.

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Speaker 3: I've got conditions. If I've got like a small person

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Speaker 3: or a small female behind me, I'll recline. Like if

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Speaker 3: I have somebody my size, I'll recline. If I've got

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Speaker 3: a guy who's like six or four behind me, I

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Speaker 3: will not recline because he has no space anyway, his

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Speaker 3: legs have no space. If somebody's asleep, I will recline.

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Speaker 3: If it's a long flight, you gotta recline a long fight,

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Speaker 3: I mean like international flight or something like that.

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Speaker 1: I could see that, But.

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Speaker 3: Otherwise, don't recline unless the the guy in front of

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Speaker 3: me always reclines, and then I'm stuck. But it's okay.

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Speaker 3: I'd rather be the cool person that doesn't recline, then say, well,

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Speaker 3: the guy in front of me is doing it.

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Speaker 2: The worst part about the reclining. If someone is doing

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Speaker 2: it in front of you. Is that they think that

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Speaker 2: they have they can squeeze some more inches out of

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Speaker 2: that recline and they hit that button and you see

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Speaker 2: the seat go back and it's only a three or

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Speaker 2: four inch you know, it's not money. Yeah, and they're

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Speaker 2: throwing their back into.

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Speaker 1: It totally, bro, Are you new here? This is as

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Speaker 1: far as it goes. And the next thing you know,

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Speaker 1: that seatback is going to break.

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Speaker 3: Right, you know right, And then you're in your lab.

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Speaker 3: He's in your lab and that's awkward.

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Speaker 1: Sweet, here's number seven, the seventh, son of the seventh.

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Speaker 1: We're on seventh days with a government sector. Seventh seven

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Speaker 1: seven years of college.

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Speaker 3: Seven seven seven days. Listen, this guy's a little young

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Speaker 3: for letting me forgive for letting me let him slide.

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Speaker 1: I get it.

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Speaker 3: We all know someone who's driver's license has probably not

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Speaker 3: been on operable for a long time. It's called Grandpa.

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Speaker 3: Grandpa probably hasn't renewed his license, right, it probably hasn't

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Speaker 3: been And he's still going to get around. He still

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Speaker 3: wants to drive out in the Sunset district to go

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Speaker 3: see the windmill. Yep, And you just gotta let him.

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Speaker 3: He served his country what.

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Speaker 1: Are you going to do?

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Speaker 3: What the hell am I going to do? But this

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Speaker 3: guy's a Canadian.

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Speaker 2: A sixty year old man from Toronto facing multiple charges

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Speaker 2: after Ontario Provincial Police you're down with OPP said he

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Speaker 2: was caught speeding on Highway four oh seven in Burlington.

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Speaker 3: Shot out nineteen ninety two.

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Speaker 2: You're welcome despite having a driver's license suspended for four decades.

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Speaker 2: His license has been suspended since nineteen eighty five.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure there.

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Speaker 3: Are a lot of people with suspended licenses out there

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Speaker 3: living there, driving lice.

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Speaker 1: Since before OPP came out, way before.

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Speaker 3: That's what never mind. I was just going to see

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Speaker 3: your bad joke and make it worse, and I stopped.

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Speaker 3: I pulled the nose up.

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Speaker 1: I'll see getting ready for the weekend? Are we number six?

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Speaker 3: I got six?

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Speaker 1: You got six? Six number six?

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Speaker 2: There's six more weeks of water, a picture of me

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Speaker 2: or Rabbi and six drunken lung shomyn.

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Speaker 1: We just take an amazing how closer to us.

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Speaker 2: I don't have to drink another six pack?

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Speaker 3: So I think off the week On the Gary and

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Speaker 3: Shannon Show, I think I learned producer Matt is from Canada.

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Speaker 3: Do we do we know if that kid's Canadian or not.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, because we've got another OPP story right

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Speaker 3: right here at number six.

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Speaker 2: If anybody's down with opp, it's Matt. Yeah. The Ontario

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Speaker 2: Provincial Police say thirty five thousand dollars worth of worth

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Speaker 2: of salsa and dips stolen from a couple of tractor trailers.

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Speaker 3: I get it. Like, Okay, remember a week or so

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Speaker 3: ago when that tractor trailer jack knifed on the two

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Speaker 3: ten in.

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Speaker 1: The course light all over the freeway.

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Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. If I saw that happening, I would

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Speaker 3: have cleaned up, like my whole truck would have been

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Speaker 3: filled with cors light and it would have been I

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Speaker 3: would have been part of the clean up effort like

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Speaker 3: I was doing it for good. Hell yeah, same thing

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Speaker 3: if I saw chips and salsa like jackpot.

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Speaker 1: Baby, that's very very cool.

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Speaker 2: When I was working on Sacramento one time, there was

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Speaker 2: a truck carrying coconut oil. As weird as that sounds,

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Speaker 2: a truck carrying coconut oil that flipped over on one

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Speaker 2: of the overpasses. They had to shut that thing down

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Speaker 2: and scrape off like three inches worth of asphalt because

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Speaker 2: the coconut oil soaked in and would have made everything

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Speaker 2: too dangerous.

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Speaker 3: And I am showing good restraint today. A bad joke.

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Speaker 1: What's some coconut oil joke?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a P Diddy joke in there, there

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Speaker 3: was a baby oil. I left a lot on the

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Speaker 3: table there.

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Speaker 1: Number five for five. I have five rules. We begin

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Speaker 1: bombing five minutes. Five little geese. This is the year

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Speaker 1: five point five. Five would be a favorite. Loose five

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Speaker 1: pounds immediately.

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Speaker 3: I can see this happening with cops, but not firefighters,

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Speaker 3: and that is going to get me into a whole

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Speaker 3: heap of trouble. But here we go. Two firefighters in Maryland,

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Speaker 3: USA have allegedly flooded a baseball field over a fight

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Speaker 3: involving batted balls striking parked cars. They've been criminally charged.

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Speaker 3: It was a fire captain and a firefighter, each facing

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Speaker 3: three misdemeanor charges.

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Speaker 1: You've seen this before.

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Speaker 2: It's played out in TV and movies, the plot where

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Speaker 2: somebody needs the game to be canceled, so they turn

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Speaker 2: the sprinklers on and let them run for several hours

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Speaker 2: so that the baseball field or football field or whatever

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Speaker 2: is too muddy to play on.

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Speaker 3: I think the Dolphins are going to do.

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Speaker 2: That the waterworks because they backed a truck up apparently

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Speaker 2: and aimed one of the hoses towards the field from

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Speaker 2: on top of the fire truck forced the cancelation of

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Speaker 2: that night's cal Ripkin Senior Collegiate Baseball League between the

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Speaker 2: Thunderbolts and the Metro Soco Braves. Canceled game also meant

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Speaker 2: lost income for both teams. And it's again it's played

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Speaker 2: out that somebody got the idea from watching some movie

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Speaker 2: about baseb.

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Speaker 3: We should get involved, We should get the show involved

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Speaker 3: with some sort of double A baseball team.

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Speaker 1: There's a new Long Beach Baseball club boom.

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Speaker 3: What are they called?

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Speaker 1: I don't think they have a name yet.

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Speaker 2: Ooh yeah, I think they're literally called Long Beach Baseball.

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Speaker 3: Tea getting in there on the ground floor.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what would you want to call them?

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Speaker 3: Not that we would have a say in that? Are

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Speaker 3: you man spreading today?

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Speaker 1: Is that you don't need to know everything about that?

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Speaker 3: I mean, you're clearly getting ready to go home. Do

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Speaker 3: you just do that the whole weekend? You just put

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Speaker 3: one leg over here and one leg over there in Glendal.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes I grab my truck keys and grab my

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Speaker 2: purse before the meeting is even over too.

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Speaker 3: I haven't done that in a long time.

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Speaker 1: Because we haven't had a meeting in a long time.

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Speaker 1: Here's number four minute.

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Speaker 3: It's probably on his fourth tranquilizer by now.

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Speaker 1: Commandment number four.

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Speaker 3: This isn't the same world you left.

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Speaker 1: Four years ago.

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Speaker 3: You don't need to close your legs on my back, guys.

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Speaker 2: A lot of odd things have shown up on Twitch.

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Speaker 2: A live birth is something new. Somebody from Austin, Texas,

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Speaker 2: where a lot of these texts are these twitch streams

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Speaker 2: originate named Fandy the real name.

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Speaker 1: Her real name is Katie c. A.

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Speaker 2: D Y, but goes by Fandy online, chose to carry

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Speaker 2: out her labor and give birth to her child with

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Speaker 2: the help of a midwife on Twitch now twenty nine

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Speaker 2: thousand viewers, a new Twitch record.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know.

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Speaker 3: I thought Twitch was just for videos. I did to

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Speaker 3: not seeing someone's birth canal Jesus Mary, that is that

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Speaker 3: is a long, no thank you way to kill Twitch

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Speaker 3: Number three three shall.

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Speaker 1: Be the number count and the number of the counting shall.

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Speaker 2: Be three dead within three hours three Security clearance level.

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Speaker 1: Three three three. I got all three of you, guys

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Speaker 1: for the rest of your name be born live. After

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Speaker 1: about three days, they both started to stink.

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Speaker 3: We did a story on this woman, and I thought

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Speaker 3: it was just a one off, that this was all

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Speaker 3: going to go away, And apparently it is a blooming

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Speaker 3: field and it is all about people hired to pick

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Speaker 3: out names for babies. Taylor Humphrey. I believe we first

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Speaker 3: talked about her, Oh, I don't know, maybe a year ago,

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Speaker 3: if not more. If not more, she's thirty seven now.

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Speaker 3: She began posting about her passion for baby names a

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Speaker 3: decade ago. Now she's got one hundred thousand followers on tictac,

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Speaker 3: TikTok and Instagram and you know what, you close your legs.

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Speaker 3: Now she has these crazy in depth services. So entry

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Speaker 3: level service starts are two hundred dollars for an email

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Speaker 3: of personalized name suggestions for your baby, complete with meanings

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Speaker 3: of the names and popular already trends. But for those

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Speaker 3: in depth services I was talking about, listen to where

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Speaker 3: her prizes are at Now. A ten thousand dollars package

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Speaker 3: provides VIP treatment with her most exclusive services, costing thirty

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Speaker 3: thousand genealogical genealogical research to full baby named branding campaign,

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Speaker 3: baby name branding campaigns.

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Speaker 1: This woman has taken the temperature of gen z and

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Speaker 1: decided that they are so broken that they can't even

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Speaker 1: name their own gene.

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Speaker 3: But not broke thirty thousands, she says. She says, sometimes

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Speaker 3: I feel like more of a therapist or a mediator.

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Speaker 3: That's because your client tell is all effing nuts.

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Speaker 1: She said.

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Speaker 2: One of her clients was facing hospital delays after failing

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Speaker 2: to agree on a baby's middle name, so they call

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Speaker 2: her wow.

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Speaker 1: Within minutes, she was able.

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Speaker 2: To resolve the standoff, helping the couple avoid a costly

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Speaker 2: extension of their hostage.

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Speaker 3: Jackass should be the baby's middle name.

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Speaker 1: There's number two. What's going on?

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Speaker 3: You? Two? One? Two people?

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Speaker 1: There's two sons and no women. Mom and yeah exactly.

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Speaker 2: Scientists claim they have found alien DNA in humans, but

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Speaker 2: not every human, specifically those humans who claimed that they

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Speaker 2: were abducted.

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Speaker 3: I love it's true see Elmer.

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Speaker 2: Large DNA sequences appeared that did not match either parent.

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Speaker 3: It's the aliens.

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Speaker 2: They they found non human genetic sequences in eleven families

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Speaker 2: when they were analyzing the data from the one thousand

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Speaker 2: Genomes project.

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Speaker 3: Art of mister bumber Puss's story oh wait, no, No, it's

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Speaker 3: not bumber Puss. He's not hot. He's half cat half man. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's Biractar, who's alien because his mom is an alien

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Speaker 3: and he's and he's half Ukrainian from his father.

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Speaker 1: That's a human, right, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Okay, but I mean it. Well, then that's not just

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Speaker 2: a little bit of the alien DNA. That's like fifty

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Speaker 2: alien DNA and maybe more. We don't know how the DNA,

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Speaker 2: their DNA reacts with our DNA.

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Speaker 3: But like in space wars, there could be a whole planet.

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Speaker 3: Is number one number one?

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Speaker 2: Number one? Ben number one?

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Speaker 1: Are you the number one? Number one? Number one?

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Florida where a firefighter accused of stalking is

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Speaker 2: his ex girlfriend?

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Speaker 1: Sorry what a firefighter?

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Speaker 2: She accused of dumping something onto her ex boyfriend's lawn

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Speaker 2: when she learned that he was dating someone new. The

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Speaker 2: Belusia County Sheriff's Office contacted. It was contacted by a

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Speaker 2: woman after she and her boyfriend woke up to find

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Speaker 2: a pile of quote possibly used tampon.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's just how do you even have that?

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Speaker 3: That's disgusting.

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Speaker 2: A police reviewed security camera footage showed a pickup truck

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Speaker 2: driving past the house, and then a woman sat in

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Speaker 2: the truckbed until traffic cleared, at which point she dumped

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Speaker 2: out and threw the hygiene products on the front that.

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Speaker 3: She should be locked up.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Florida.

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Speaker 3: I can't end the week on that note.

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Speaker 1: What would you like to do, then? What would you.

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Speaker 3: Dump on an ex girlfriend's lawn to show your displeasure

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Speaker 3: with her new boyfriend?

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Speaker 1: Torn up, tear stained quilt,