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Speaker 1: Yesterday on the Minnesota Goodbye, I talked about my two cousins,

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Speaker 1: Jimmy and Richard, and how they rode their bicycles back

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Speaker 1: in nineteen fifty nine from West Caldwell, New Jersey to Jordan, Montana,

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Speaker 1: and it's such a fascinating family story. So I wrote

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Speaker 1: to Jim's two daughters on Facebook, shout out, Diane and Laura.

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Speaker 1: They're my cousins. I don't know them well. They were

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Speaker 1: one cousin below me, you know what I mean. They

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Speaker 1: were like my cousin's kids, so I didn't really know them.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, I wrote to them and they were both

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Speaker 1: delighted that we talked about their dad. And then Laura,

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Speaker 1: who was the one who put the book together, said,

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Speaker 1: I said, that's such a great, fascinating family story, and

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Speaker 1: she agreed, so shout out. And then Diane said, why

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Speaker 1: do you call it the Minnesota Goodbye? Are you leaving

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Speaker 1: to move back to Colorado? So I got to write

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Speaker 1: back to her later and explain to her what a

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Speaker 1: Minnesota good buy is me. Yeah, all right, we got

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Speaker 1: a lot of emails, so let's get started. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to start off with this one from Melissa. She says hello,

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Speaker 1: y'all are the best. You're welcome to say my name,

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Speaker 1: but only if you sing that like Destiny's child Melissa,

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Speaker 1: What my name? I'm planning a family Valentine's date to

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Speaker 1: Benny Hanna this weekend with my partner and our two toddlers.

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Speaker 1: Dave anything I absolutely need to order. I'm hoping Teppanyaki

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Speaker 1: would be fun for the toddlers, but who knows. I

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Speaker 1: planned events in the past that I thought he slam

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Speaker 1: dunks for the kids and turn into be absolute complete backfires. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I would say, you say toddlers, they'll probably enjoy the

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Speaker 1: show with the flaming onion volcanoes and the little train

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Speaker 1: where the chef blows a train whistle and pushes the

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Speaker 1: train along and then he you know, they do little

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Speaker 1: things and they flip an egg and catch it in

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Speaker 1: their hat, and the kids usually like that, so, you know,

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Speaker 1: work the kids up a little bit, like yeah, cool,

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Speaker 1: that was crazy. There's a tiny chance the kids will

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Speaker 1: be frightened of this, and if they are, just tell

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Speaker 1: the chef just cook. Yeah, and you know, but here's

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Speaker 1: the key to a successful Bennie Hanna meal. Number One.

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Speaker 1: You've got to get the fried rice, chicken fried rice.

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Speaker 1: Don't get white rice. Get chicken fried rice, okay, And

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Speaker 1: then when they put it in a bowl, you can

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Speaker 1: do a couple of things. You've got to take the

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Speaker 1: shrimp sauce. First of all, you probably don't need. There's

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Speaker 1: ginger sauce in a little cup, and there's creamy, pinkish

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Speaker 1: orangish shrimp sauce Yum yum sauce Benie hanav sauce in

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Speaker 1: another bowl. You don't need the ginger sauce. You can

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Speaker 1: get it if you want to. But when they put

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Speaker 1: your rice in the bowl, dig a little hole in

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Speaker 1: the top of the mound of rice and ask the

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Speaker 1: chef to pour shrimp sauce right into the rice. The

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Speaker 1: shrimp sauce on the rice of Bennie Hanna is what

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Speaker 1: makes the whole thing worth going across town to go

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Speaker 1: to Benni Hanna. Now, all the food is great, and

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Speaker 1: you can get like chicken or shrimp or I've never

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Speaker 1: had anything that I didn't like at Benny Hannah. I

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Speaker 1: usually get the steak and lobster tail. But the best

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Speaker 1: part is the chicken fried rice with the Benny Hanna

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Speaker 1: sauce and when you run out of Bennie Hanna sauce

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Speaker 1: which you dip everything into, you ask for more. Can

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Speaker 1: I get more? And they're more than happy to scoop

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Speaker 1: out another ladle into your cup.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.

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Speaker 3: They give you the little thing with the like three

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Speaker 3: slots like the holder for the sauces, and I just

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Speaker 3: get all of it with yum yum sauce.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. At this Beni Hannah, it's different. It looks like

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Speaker 1: a coaster on a table and it's about maybe a

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Speaker 1: half an inch deep, and you have them fill it

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Speaker 1: up and when you empty it, you have them fill

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Speaker 1: it up again, and they're happy to do it. So

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Speaker 1: there is your pro tip for Benny Hannah.

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Speaker 2: Can let me write that down?

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Speaker 1: Here is a funny poop story. My husband and I

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Speaker 1: what are our friend's house playing cards? My husband left

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Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom, and some time passes, the

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Speaker 1: rest of us realize he's been gone for a while.

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Speaker 1: I go check with the classic did you fall? And

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Speaker 1: he responds, can you get my overnight bag, a trash

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Speaker 1: bag and some paper towels. We all cracked up at

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Speaker 1: this request. As I brought him these items, he opened

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Speaker 1: the door just enough to slide items through one by

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Speaker 1: one and then pushed me away to shut the door.

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Speaker 1: We hear him rummaging, and then we hear the shower start.

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Speaker 1: After all, the laughter subsided and we got the story.

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Speaker 1: We learned that he started spray shitting before he fully

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Speaker 1: sat down, so he had to go so badly that

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Speaker 1: he's got his pants down before his ass makes contact

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Speaker 1: with the toilet seat, he's spray shitting on the wall.

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Speaker 1: He was cleaning the walls and toilet the best he

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Speaker 1: could and had to hose himself off in the shower

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Speaker 1: before coming out. As you can imagine, our friends loved

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Speaker 1: to remind him about the time that he shot on

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Speaker 1: their walls. Hey, everybody poofs, but boy, oh boy, when

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Speaker 1: it's not into a toilet, it's usually including humor or devastation.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for reading staff writer Sidney. Sidney, thank you

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Speaker 1: for the email.

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Speaker 2: That is awesome, thrilled.

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Speaker 4: I am really happy you're close enough with those friends

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Speaker 4: too through that together.

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Speaker 1: Can you imagine if you're meeting regular guys parents and

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Speaker 1: this happens to you, and you spray shit all over

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Speaker 1: their walls.

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Speaker 2: That sounds all the fire departments.

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Speaker 5: They didn't get a hose in here.

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Speaker 2: Bring me my overnight bag.

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Speaker 1: You don't have one?

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Speaker 2: Oh no, all right.

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Speaker 1: Next one. Don't say my name. Your recent email from

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Speaker 1: page cannot be true. This was we were talking about

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Speaker 1: things that your parents let you do when you were

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Speaker 1: a kid. I don't remember the exact details, but they

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Speaker 1: said that they flew across the country when they were

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Speaker 1: like thirteen and eight yesterday, remember that? Oh right, right, right, yep,

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Speaker 1: she said that cannot be true. It's illegal for kids

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Speaker 1: to fly alone under the age of fifteen. I've worked

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Speaker 1: in the airline for almost thirty years. There's always been

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Speaker 1: a service since kids started being shuffled between parents in

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Speaker 1: summer cans, et cetera. Unless your mom lied about your age,

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Speaker 1: they have to be fifteen to fly without the service,

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Speaker 1: and cannot be in charge of a younger sibling unless

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Speaker 1: they're at least sixteen. I believe she just didn't realize

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Speaker 1: somebody paid or her parents lied. At least that's what

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Speaker 1: we were trained with, and enforcement was mandatory with US

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Speaker 1: employees at MSP. I don't say my name airline employee.

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Speaker 3: Okay, fair enough, but I swear I went on a

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Speaker 3: plane when I was like ten.

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Speaker 1: I believe them both. Yeah, I believe that both can

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Speaker 1: be true, and I think that one maybe didn't remember

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Speaker 1: their exact age or mom lied. No, ok next one,

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Speaker 1: hold on, I gotta sort through some of these. Hello, Dave,

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Speaker 1: I wrote in the other day. But it would mean

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Speaker 1: the world for me to me as a longtime listener

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Speaker 1: if you can shout out my soulmate fiance Holly on

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Speaker 1: the Minnesota goodbye. She is my best friend and I

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Speaker 1: can't wait to marry or We've been together for almost

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Speaker 1: five years. She is the absolute love of my life,

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Speaker 1: the best mom anyone can ask for. I'm gonna get

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Speaker 1: misty here and I don't even know these two. They

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Speaker 1: got four kids. She works super hard, loves me unconditionally

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Speaker 1: every day, even if I'm crabby, and she is the

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Speaker 1: prettiest girl in the world. Thank you, Dylan to Holly,

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Speaker 1: aw isn't that.

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Speaker 2: Sweet, prettiest girl in the world?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, uh okay, nix one. I don't think I've pre read,

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Speaker 1: but here we go. Hello. I'm a longtime listener and

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Speaker 1: a first time writer in my early forties, married twenty years,

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Speaker 1: four boys under the age of ten. Between my busy

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Speaker 1: schedule and shifting hormones, my sex drive is decreased significantly,

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Speaker 1: while my husband remains very high. I value our time

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Speaker 1: together what but would prefer sex much less frequently than

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Speaker 1: he does. When I decline his advances, my husband immediately

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Speaker 1: shifts from being affectionate to acting moody and complaining about

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Speaker 1: his stress. I feel like he's using me for stress

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Speaker 1: relief and trying to make me feel guilty. I want intimacy,

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Speaker 1: but not necessarily sex. Am I right to feel annoyed?

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Speaker 1: Is this common behavior? I also believe we should be

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Speaker 1: teaching young men to better understand and to respect women's

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Speaker 1: hormonal shifts. Please keep my name anonymous, your long time

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Speaker 1: stay at home mom listener. I hear a lot of

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Speaker 1: women complaining about the imbalance of sexual compatibility in their marriage.

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Speaker 1: Where a guy I've known several couples and why people

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Speaker 1: confide in me, I don't know, but I'm glad that

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Speaker 1: they do. And sometimes when people confide sexual stories in

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Speaker 1: me to me, I'm like, do you not have anybody else?

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Speaker 3: Do?

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Speaker 1: I just you've heard me talk about banging a nerf ball,

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Speaker 1: so you feel you can tell me anything. I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of women are dealing with that. Where a

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Speaker 1: guy wants to get on and pump away for fifteen

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Speaker 1: times and then he's done, and so it's not romantic,

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Speaker 1: it's not satisfying. It's like a task. So I hear

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Speaker 1: that a lot. I also hear the of guys that

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Speaker 1: never want to have sex, and a lot of the time,

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Speaker 1: I think when you get you know, when you're young,

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Speaker 1: you both want to bang all the time. Jenny, Am

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Speaker 1: I right? I mean yeah, yeah, when you're young and

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Speaker 1: it's new, it's like I can't get.

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Speaker 4: Enough new almost don't even necessarily have to be like

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Speaker 4: super young, but when something's new, it's just different, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's what I.

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Speaker 5: Mean, get you get into a routine. I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I that email upset me because your husband's using manipulation,

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Speaker 4: like through sex, and that's not fair, Like he's going

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Speaker 4: to treat you like crap because or not treat you

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Speaker 4: like crap, but he's gonna treat you differently because you're

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Speaker 4: not giving him sex when you don't want it, Like

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Speaker 4: that's honestly, that's like a form of manipulation, and that

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Speaker 4: pisses me off. So I'm sorry that that's the case.

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Speaker 5: I don't know. She's not asking for advice, right, She

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Speaker 5: just is a little.

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Speaker 1: Bit like she's asking to the jerk kind of Yeah, no, you're.

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Speaker 5: Not the jerk.

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Speaker 2: That's life.

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Speaker 4: That's I don't know, I guess just if you haven't

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Speaker 4: already communicate with him that like, my fucking body's different

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Speaker 4: right now, and I don't want to bang all the time.

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Speaker 4: And if he can't handle that, then I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I have choice words, but I'll come to myself.

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Speaker 1: Sex can be a bone of contention, no punny tended

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Speaker 1: in a relationship, and sometimes there's somebody who's like ready

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Speaker 1: for it all the time, and they know. Usually women

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Speaker 1: need a little more time to kind of like work

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Speaker 1: up a little bit and you know, for the body

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Speaker 1: to start doing its thing to get turned on. Guys

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Speaker 1: can get turned on like.

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Speaker 2: Just like that.

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Speaker 1: That's the sound that it makes.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's the sound.

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Speaker 1: So if you hear that coming from the other end

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Speaker 1: of the couch, run. What you can do if that

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Speaker 1: happens is go and spray shit on the walls and

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Speaker 1: then he won't be turned on anymore.

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Speaker 2: Hold on, let me write that down, especially.

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Speaker 1: If you come out and go, Goda, just spray ship

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Speaker 1: all over the walls. And before that he was my

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Speaker 1: cousins are hearing this, and I'm so embarrassed. You know,

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Speaker 1: they know who you are, they don't know who I am.

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Speaker 3: They probably heard their shout out and they shut it

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Speaker 3: off at the It's very.

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Speaker 1: Likely, but but dead Okay, next one, any insight on

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Speaker 1: when and we will learn regular Guy's name, or when

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Speaker 1: Jenny will declare or launch her new bow. I fully

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Speaker 1: understand the slow role of your relationships publicly, but doing

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Speaker 1: a pressure check to see where you are with these details.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I've said his name. His name is Eric. Regular

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Speaker 3: Guy's name is Eric. But I like calling him regular

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Speaker 3: Guy because that's the bit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a bit.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's almost like his character the show, right exactly.

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Speaker 4: It's not that you're scared to say Eric, not, it's

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Speaker 4: just that, like we all know him as regular guy.

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Speaker 2: Right, And that's what's funny.

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Speaker 3: And then he actually texted me the other day and

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Speaker 3: he's like, my brother's like sister in law or something

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Speaker 3: overheard him talking about me and saying, oh, I was

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Speaker 3: on the radio once and like playing it back, and

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Speaker 3: he like played it back at work, and then people

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Speaker 3: were coming into his office and being like, what are

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Speaker 3: you are you listening to the Dave Ryan Show, and

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Speaker 3: he's like, oh, yeah, my brother was on the other day.

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Speaker 2: And your brother is regular guy.

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Speaker 3: Wow, Like his name is that's the bit, that's the character,

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Speaker 3: and so I will continue calling him regular guy because

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Speaker 3: it's funny.

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Speaker 2: No, that's funny, way funnier than Eric.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Eric is kind of a regular guy.

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Speaker 1: There's a story, and the story once again is is

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Speaker 1: kind of a cute little story.

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Speaker 3: Well, I dated like four different guys in a week.

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Speaker 3: I went on a first date and I named them

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Speaker 3: all something. So there was Twitter feud guy, there was

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Speaker 3: the intellectual, and then there was regular guy because he

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Speaker 3: was just a regular dude and he works in a bank.

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Speaker 3: He's tall, he's a white man, he has brown hair,

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Speaker 3: he is a regular dude.

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Speaker 2: He likes sports.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Well, we met him last week at the holiday party, which,

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Speaker 1: believe it or not, you guys was already a week ago.

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Speaker 1: That fucking time is just blowing my mind lately. And

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Speaker 1: he was very sweet. He seems like a good match

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Speaker 1: for you because you're both funny, and when I would

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Speaker 1: say something funny, he would go along with it instead

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Speaker 1: of going huhhh, you know, like I said something like

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Speaker 1: Eric don't touch that. That's disgusting, like being funny, like yeah,

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Speaker 1: and he's like he's like, you're disgusting or something something

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Speaker 1: that let him know that. I fine. I was funny

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Speaker 1: and I was joking, so I like regular guy. He

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Speaker 1: Is he a good kisser?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Okay, what a strange question.

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Speaker 1: Well, I was I'm building up to is he a

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Speaker 1: good lover? I'd kiss him?

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Speaker 2: Okay, let me text him really quick.

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Speaker 1: I have no I can acknowledge when a guy is attractive,

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Speaker 1: but I don't have any sexual attraction to men. So

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Speaker 1: I can look at a guy and go I was.

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Speaker 1: I was at a funeral the other day and there

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Speaker 1: was a guy in front of me who had the

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Speaker 1: fucking best hair. You could tell, even in his custom

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Speaker 1: fit suit that he had the V shaped torso. And

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Speaker 1: I'm like, this guy's fucking hot. Did I have any

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Speaker 1: sexual attraction to him at all? None? Whatsoever?

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Speaker 2: No, that's just not hot.

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Speaker 1: I can acknowledge when a guy is hot, but I

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Speaker 1: am not like, oh damn, I want some of that dick.

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Speaker 1: But I almost said it, I want some of that

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Speaker 1: d I don't.

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Speaker 2: We're in the Minnesota.

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Speaker 1: Bye, you can say, well, my cousins are listening.

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Speaker 3: Well, they turned off the Renniesota goodbye the second you

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Speaker 3: start saying spray shit everywhere, So they're like, we're done.

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Speaker 4: You realize you revealed so many things too, because you

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Speaker 4: revealed the nerf ball sort of story.

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Speaker 5: Also earlier did.

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Speaker 1: Have sex with a nerf ball very young.

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Speaker 2: They know a lot.

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Speaker 5: About you they weren't prepared for.

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Speaker 1: I think, yeah, well, probably right now, cousin Laura is

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Speaker 1: probably penning an email to us about how she spray

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Speaker 1: shit all over the wall somewhere.

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Speaker 2: Some tell us about it at a time.

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Speaker 1: I don't know them very well, but they their dad

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Speaker 1: was a big adventurer, and he was a pilot. And

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Speaker 1: I remember one story when he flew his little, tiny

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Speaker 1: two seedar airplane from New Jersey to the middle of nowhere, Montana.

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Speaker 1: It's I mean literally, it's not even in a town.

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Speaker 1: It's outside so far. And he landed his little two

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Speaker 1: seedar airplane with his new one and his baby daughter

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Speaker 1: on the wife's lap. Wowy that she held the baby

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Speaker 1: on her lap for this flight. Wow landed it on

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Speaker 1: the dirt road outside my uncle Dean's farmhouse. It's like,

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Speaker 1: what an adventurer, what a fucking just you know, just

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Speaker 1: an adventurous life. This guy.

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Speaker 3: Imagine him with one of them little like aviator hats

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Speaker 3: like Snoopy wears, with the goggles and the big Chorley mustache.

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Speaker 1: And probably nothing like that at all, nothing like that

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Speaker 1: at all. Anyway. That is the Minnesota goodbye for today,

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Speaker 1: Thank you for listening, Have a good weekend, and send

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Speaker 1: your emails. Maybe you've got a great family story. I've

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Speaker 1: got the bicycle story mode. Is your family story. Maybe

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Speaker 1: your dad or great grandpa or your great uncle Bradley

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Speaker 1: won a Purple Heart in World War Two when he,

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Speaker 1: like you know, took on an entire tank battalion with

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Speaker 1: just a water gus spurt a squirt gun. So tell

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Speaker 1: me your story. Maybe you've got a great story, keep

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Speaker 1: it kind of brief because we can't go on too long,

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Speaker 1: but send it into Ryan's show at kadiwb dot com.

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Speaker 1: We'll see you Monday,