Speaker 1: It's Mojo in the morning show boy.
Speaker 2: I love when we get, you know, from more of
Speaker 2: the Roses to am I, the a Hole, the second date,
Speaker 2: updates and all that stuff. But then we got all
Speaker 2: the personal stuff that we talk about, things going on
Speaker 2: in our lives. Shannon's going to get very personal about
Speaker 2: a little I don't know. I call it a fight,
Speaker 2: argument or discussion in your marriage.
Speaker 3: I mean it's all of the above. To be honest
Speaker 3: with you, I need the comfy chair for this one.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So Wes has been on my case lately about something
Speaker 3: I'm doing that he says is impacting our ability to
Speaker 3: communicate with each other right now. And last night he
Speaker 3: got real upset with me about it. And it's my
Speaker 3: tendency to interrupt, so like he'll, yeah, he'll I know,
Speaker 3: I do it too. This is the thing, Like I
Speaker 3: am aware. Lucy has made me aware. It drives her crazy.
Speaker 3: I listened back to our podcast sometimes and I'm like
Speaker 3: and shot up, like let other people speak.
Speaker 4: But it's gotten.
Speaker 3: Really bad in our relationship because he said that he'll
Speaker 3: try to tell a story about something that happened in
Speaker 3: his day or share his opinion or side of the
Speaker 3: story about something that we're talking about, and he can't
Speaker 3: even get three words out before I'm pouncing on him
Speaker 3: with my own thoughts or I'm trying to defend myself,
Speaker 3: or you know, whatever it is. And so last night
Speaker 3: spit hit the fan because he was trying to talk
Speaker 3: to me about something and here I come in and
Speaker 3: interrupt him, and he just sat back in his chair
Speaker 3: at the table and folded his hands and stopped talking,
Speaker 3: and so I knew at that point, I was like, well,
Speaker 3: he missed it. I really messed it. Like it's yeah,
Speaker 3: He's like, we can't even have a discussion without you
Speaker 3: interrupting me. I can't even get out what I want
Speaker 3: to say because you're so bad. And my excuse is
Speaker 3: always I feel like it's ingrained in me because of
Speaker 3: what we do. We're all in here, we're all trying
Speaker 3: to get a word in and jump on top of
Speaker 3: each other and be a part of a discussion. And
Speaker 3: he's like, you have to stop using that as your excuse.
Speaker 3: This is not the show.
Speaker 2: You said that he was telling you about his day.
Speaker 2: Do you you interrupt in just regular conversation a lot?
Speaker 2: Or is are you talking when you're having an argument You're.
Speaker 4: In both all of it all the time.
Speaker 1: And interrupted a lot.
Speaker 5: Has this been like something He's like, how soon into
Speaker 5: the relationship did he bring this up?
Speaker 4: I don't remember, keV, but it comes up all the time.
Speaker 5: And have you actively tried to do anything or is
Speaker 5: it you just like you say, blame it on your professor?
Speaker 3: Yes, I do, But then sometimes it comes up so often,
Speaker 3: and again that's on me because I'm not doing a
Speaker 3: good job. But then sometimes I get snarky and I'll
Speaker 3: just like sit and not say anything I asked.
Speaker 2: It even worse because I'm like, oh, he wants So
Speaker 2: if you listen to the podcast that Chelsea and I
Speaker 2: do that we don't podcast, we talked specifically about this,
Speaker 2: and actually it comes up a ton in our podcast
Speaker 2: where Chelse feels this same way that West feels, where
Speaker 2: she feels like she's always been interrupted and it's gotten
Speaker 2: to a point where now she will go stop interrupting me,
Speaker 2: like she will literally like call me like she started
Speaker 2: doing what Wes did, where she'll back off and then
Speaker 2: make it apparent that that's the case, but now she'll
Speaker 2: actually go, no, don't cut me off, Like she's like,
Speaker 2: you're not going to cut me off, and it's bad.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: It's funny that we blame it on what we do
Speaker 2: for a living and we blame it on this Well,
Speaker 2: I think that honestly, there is a similarity and personality
Speaker 2: sometimes of you and I. Yeah things, So I definitely
Speaker 2: don't know if it is this job that does it
Speaker 2: or if it's just that's how we were raised. I
Speaker 2: was raised as the baby of the family of six,
Speaker 2: and if you didn't speak up, you didn't get hurt.
Speaker 2: But that shouldn't affect my family and my wife, and
Speaker 2: obviously you know, Wes shouldn't be affected by yours either,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: And it's gotten to the point where he, like you said, Chelsea,
Speaker 3: will say you're doing it again, you're interrupting me. Stop
Speaker 3: interrupting me. Or he'll he just shuts down. Yeah, he
Speaker 3: just sucks down. And then if we're and if we're
Speaker 3: talking about something important, that the discussion's over and it's
Speaker 3: just like, let we're left hanging and I feel like crap.
Speaker 5: But I people want to be heard, people want to
Speaker 5: be understood, and they want to be seen. And when
Speaker 5: I'm telling you over and over again that you're not
Speaker 5: seeing me, and one you don't get it, and then
Speaker 5: two you patronize me by being snarky. It's almost like,
Speaker 5: not only do you not care what I'm telling you,
Speaker 5: you don't care how it makes me feel. And when
Speaker 5: you don't care how it makes me feel, since you're
Speaker 5: not protecting me, I have to protect me. So I'm
Speaker 5: not going to say anything.
Speaker 3: I think hard part two, and I'm making excuses for myself.
Speaker 3: I'm very aware i'm doing this is if he's saying
Speaker 3: something that I know is wrong, I want to defend
Speaker 3: myself before he goes any further.
Speaker 2: The problem, though, is that you aren't listening. And that's
Speaker 2: what but I've been told. But I'm speaking from experience
Speaker 2: of of this because I do the same thing.
Speaker 1: So I'm a kettle in the pot and I'm black.
Speaker 1: But you want to but but I do. I listen.
Speaker 2: I I it's tough to be married to somebody that's
Speaker 2: always interrupting you. I feel horrible for Wes. I feel
Speaker 2: horrible for my wife. I feel horrible for anybody else
Speaker 2: that deals with this. West is only interrupt me.
Speaker 5: West forget what I got to say.
Speaker 4: Just interrupted him.
Speaker 5: Wes, good morning, you got you and Chelsea should have
Speaker 5: like a do you guys have your own text exchange
Speaker 5: that you guys talk to each other and don't interrupt
Speaker 5: each other.
Speaker 6: Yeah, we'll call it.
Speaker 1: Why did we say? Yes?
Speaker 6: You are?
Speaker 1: So what's going on?
Speaker 7: Man?
Speaker 6: I thought you Kevin and Shannon did a very good
Speaker 6: job of explaining everything. That's not much I can really
Speaker 6: add to it. That means that you're aware, and when
Speaker 6: you're aware, it becomes a choice, and when it's a choice,
Speaker 6: it's hurtful. So that's just not a fun place to
Speaker 6: be because I think Shannon knows one of the big
Speaker 6: things in our relationship that I think she shared in
Speaker 6: the past is for me, one of the biggest things
Speaker 6: is to be acknowledged and validated in conversation to then
Speaker 6: have a deep, meaningful relationship. And so that's really important.
Speaker 6: When somebody cuts you off and assumes either your intent
Speaker 6: or assumes your response, then they don't care, and that
Speaker 6: can be pretty hurtful.
Speaker 4: H Can you tell he's still mad at me?
Speaker 2: By the way, Kristin wants to comment Kristin.
Speaker 4: Hello, I I.
Speaker 8: I do the same thing, and I was really bad
Speaker 8: for a long time. So you know, I did some
Speaker 8: deep diving into my childhood and I'm an only child,
Speaker 8: and I really feel like every time I did it,
Speaker 8: it was just a defense mechanism of needing to be
Speaker 8: heard because as an only child, I was kind of ignored.
Speaker 1: I grew up in a little bit of a difficult household.
Speaker 8: So you know, I'm really think you that if you
Speaker 8: think about when you're interrupting, and you think about all
Speaker 8: those times, that's that's where it comes from. It's like, hey,
Speaker 8: listen to me, I'm important. I have to say is important.
Speaker 8: So that's that's just personally what I thought.
Speaker 2: That's well, And I think everybody's got a different reason
Speaker 2: of why why they do do it, But the biggest
Speaker 2: thing is acknowledging that you do it and then trying
Speaker 2: to stop yourself from doing it.
Speaker 1: Kelly, what's up? Hey, how are you?
Speaker 9: My husband and I do the exact same thing. I
Speaker 9: interrupt him constantly. He'll just stop the conversation and tell
Speaker 9: me that he's not talking to you when I'm interrupting,
Speaker 9: and I tell him it's all about ADHD.
Speaker 4: That's my excuse.
Speaker 9: But in reality, in reality, it's about like something comes
Speaker 9: in my head and I just have a like it's
Speaker 9: just comes out of my mouth without me even thinking
Speaker 9: when they when I hear you're making a decision to interrupt,
Speaker 9: I'm not. It's just it just happens without even a thought.
Speaker 9: It I got something to say, it's coming out.
Speaker 2: You hear the pain in Wes's voice, though, Did you
Speaker 2: hear that when he when he just said what he said?
Speaker 5: He's very eloquent. I mean, that's yeah, that's yeah. And
Speaker 5: I don't know you, but that's all like an excuse
Speaker 5: to me. And obviously I'm not a medical professional. Notice
Speaker 5: is just one man's opinion from the West side of
Speaker 5: the trade. But I do think that once your spouse
Speaker 5: brings up that it is affecting them then and I
Speaker 5: hope you are more intentional when you have conversations that, hey,
Speaker 5: I need to lock in and listen like that. I
Speaker 5: think that's and correct me if I'm wrong West when
Speaker 5: you say, it's a choice. But I can understand just
Speaker 5: the old random conversation let me blurt something out. But
Speaker 5: when we're sitting down and we're having a conversation, hopefully
Speaker 5: you understand that you need to switch and we need
Speaker 5: to have an intentional conversation. You don't need to interrupt
Speaker 5: every time, Wes.
Speaker 6: If there's a pattern and you call out that pattern,
Speaker 6: and then it's a choice. You don't need metal for
Speaker 6: the five K, you need one for coaching your bugs.
Speaker 1: Quick question, Wes, when's it? When's it hurt more?
Speaker 2: When you're just telling a random this is what my
Speaker 2: day was like, or when you're in the midst of
Speaker 2: an argument.
Speaker 6: It's the same. It could be Hey, I'm excited about
Speaker 6: something at work, or it's like, hey, let's talk about
Speaker 6: our plan for the weekend, or hey, let's talk about
Speaker 6: something going on with the kids in the house.
Speaker 1: But what about an argument, though, Because.
Speaker 10: In an argument, no, because if you kind of expect
Speaker 10: that in an argument. As far as I'm concerned, that's
Speaker 10: what I know that you're going up against a bit of.
Speaker 2: A wall, because I was wondering that because when you
Speaker 2: are the thing that would mean to me looking like
Speaker 2: I like seeing that you guys are going through this,
Speaker 2: because we're going through this too, and I like to
Speaker 2: know that other people are. Now with that said, I
Speaker 2: got to fix mine. I can't worry about everybody else's
Speaker 2: and mine is bad too. But when you're talking about yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to tell her about my day and
Speaker 2: she's interrupting me and telling me all this stuff. What
Speaker 2: that is is that is not showing you any of
Speaker 2: the respect that your day matters at all. And so
Speaker 2: and I do that to Chelse all the time, Like
Speaker 2: I'll sit there and have a conversation with Chelsea and
Speaker 2: then what ends up happening is the only time that
Speaker 2: I understand or or realize when I am interrupting is
Speaker 2: when we are in an argument and our voices raise,
Speaker 2: and she will that's when she'll do the don't cut
Speaker 2: me off, Like she'll actually call out that, don't cut
Speaker 2: me off. And when she does that, like, I go, okay, whatever,
Speaker 2: But to now look back at the fact that I'm
Speaker 2: not even like making her seem like her day matters
Speaker 2: at all. And Shannon, I don't know if you even
Speaker 2: realize when you're doing this that you're making West feel like, hey,
Speaker 2: the guy is not mannering like you know, you're more
Speaker 2: important than he is.
Speaker 1: So this is a great, real.
Speaker 5: Great This is be the last thing I say, because
Speaker 5: some just popped in my mind where in my previous
Speaker 5: relationship where I made an error and I've said it before,
Speaker 5: but I think sometimes that is connect is between value
Speaker 5: and vision, and we don't always have a value problem.
Speaker 5: We have a vision problem. And obviously you two value
Speaker 5: each other, you value each other's hearts. I know you
Speaker 5: value us Wes's perspective and you want to make sure
Speaker 5: that he's safe. But maybe it's just like you got
Speaker 5: the glasses on it. Maybe it's the way that you're
Speaker 5: seeing these certain situations and you don't see it as
Speaker 5: a problem even though you value him. And I think
Speaker 5: if we change the way that we look at something,
Speaker 5: then the person that we're changing it for will feel valued.
Speaker 5: But it's just from our perspective. It's just how we
Speaker 5: see it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Kevin has all of these great quotes in the minds,
Speaker 2: but no, woman, what's going There's got to be something.
Speaker 2: Can I talk to your acces make some mistakes? Hey, Wes,
Speaker 2: she's wearing glasses today. I'm wondering, is she wearing glasses
Speaker 2: because you guys were up all night arguing. No, I'm
Speaker 2: just wanting to because sometimes you get tired because you're
Speaker 2: up all night talking.
Speaker 4: I wear them when I drive, and I just wore
Speaker 4: them into day.
Speaker 1: They're so cute.
Speaker 2: I Uh, I do think that it would be great
Speaker 2: if there was a like how Lydia went to that retreat,
Speaker 2: the church retreat. It'd be nice to go to a
Speaker 2: retreat for like a couples where you go for the weekend.
Speaker 2: You have no phones, you have nothing else there and
Speaker 2: literally all you do is talk to each other and
Speaker 2: communicate with each other, and somebody is there to acknowledge,
Speaker 2: you know, and bad communication.
Speaker 4: I think they have those.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you.
Speaker 5: Guess I couldn't go because you know, I don't have
Speaker 5: a woman, and no, you come in at the end
Speaker 5: as the guy swinging whatever's.
Speaker 1: Hold on? Last call here, Taylor, what did you want
Speaker 1: to say? Taylor?
Speaker 11: Honestly, you and Kevin kind of put it, put what
Speaker 11: I wanted to say in the words too, because, like
Speaker 11: you said too, you can really hear the pain and
Speaker 11: West's voice, and I've actually have been there personally.
Speaker 7: You know, I grew up at a household with a
Speaker 7: lot of kids, and you know, you have to speak
Speaker 7: your mind.
Speaker 5: You have to.
Speaker 7: You know, if you wanted to be urge, you had
Speaker 7: to say it. But at the same time, you have
Speaker 7: to know how to control it. When you're in a
Speaker 7: relationship with someone you care about, someone you're supposed to
Speaker 7: communicate with because you are making them feel like they
Speaker 7: don't matter their feelings and their day, and they're whatever
Speaker 7: they have to say doesn't matter because you keep interrupting
Speaker 7: them because clearly what you have to say is more
Speaker 7: important what they're telling you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks, Taylor, appreciated it.
Speaker 7: It's really important to acknowledge, you know, when you're doing something,
Speaker 7: when you're not doing something. And Well said it too.
Speaker 7: You know, obviously in an argument you expect each other
Speaker 7: to kind of interrupt each other to get your point
Speaker 7: of view out, to defend each other. You know, in
Speaker 7: an argument that's essentially what you're doing. You're defending yourself.
Speaker 7: So but you know, when it comes to other things,
Speaker 7: you just have to tind to recognize that you know
Speaker 7: you care about this person and you do want to
Speaker 7: hear what they say.
Speaker 1: Can I interrupt Tailor and just say we gotta go?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 11: I do.
Speaker 1: I do applauge with Shannon.
Speaker 9: No.
Speaker 5: I do applage because I do think you want to change.
Speaker 5: That's why you brought it up. I don't think you're
Speaker 5: just doing this for a topic. I think deep down
Speaker 5: you see how it's affecting West and you want to
Speaker 5: te like.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I do a good job, right Wes.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I like your bringing up as a topic because
Speaker 6: we didn't talk.
Speaker 4: I got another topic for tomorrow.
Speaker 8: I love you.
Speaker 4: I love you too,