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Speaker 1: Last week on No Phone Screener Friday.

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Speaker 2: You know, we open up the phones, we take calls

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Speaker 2: about anything, you can say, almost anything you want to.

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Speaker 2: And we got one call that we said we got

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Speaker 2: to come back to that one, so we saved it.

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Speaker 2: But this is what happened last week on No Phone

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Speaker 2: Screener Friday.

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Speaker 1: Check this out.

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Speaker 3: Hey, my name is Lucas Lucas.

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Speaker 1: What's up?

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Speaker 4: Hey? So I wanted to talk about my wife's just

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Speaker 4: had a kid and we're having argument about nighttime feeding.

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Speaker 4: And I don't feel as if I need to do

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Speaker 4: the two am or three am one, but like the

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Speaker 4: ten pm one, I'm completely.

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Speaker 1: Fine doing that.

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Speaker 4: But she's having a lot of problems with my way

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Speaker 4: of thinking.

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Speaker 1: Why do you not want to do the two and three.

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Speaker 4: Because I worked at six am and she's.

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Speaker 2: On maternity leave, so she's not able. She she can

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Speaker 2: you know, her sleep can be different. Bluely Bailey didn't

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Speaker 2: have any spirits.

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Speaker 4: I mean don't.

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Speaker 5: I don't, But I feel bad for her. I mean,

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Speaker 5: she's the one that's I assume she breastfeeding.

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Speaker 4: A little bit, a little bit here and there.

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Speaker 5: I mean, because I can't imagine breastfeeding that sounds exhausting. Okay,

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Speaker 5: I wasn't here for this conversation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I got a lot of people riled up.

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Speaker 5: People were calling and texting about whether what he should

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Speaker 5: or shouldn't do.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 2: It's funny because I kind of am on his side,

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Speaker 2: and I think that's kind of what maternity leave is

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Speaker 2: for now. I will absolutely listen to like other opinions,

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Speaker 2: and I don't know that I'm right, but that's what

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Speaker 2: maternity leave is for. So you can get up at

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Speaker 2: three o'clock in the morning and you can do the

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Speaker 2: feeding without having to worry about getting up at six

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Speaker 2: and going to work. So there's part of me that's like,

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Speaker 2: I kind of understand it. He's still got to go

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Speaker 2: to work, and yes, being the new mom is hard

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Speaker 2: and there's a lot of things to deal with. But

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Speaker 2: I think maybe I'm just maybe fifty one percent on

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Speaker 2: his side. But I'm willing to listen to hear why

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Speaker 2: he should get up at three o'clock in the morning.

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Speaker 6: I was gonna say, I have obviously no experience with

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Speaker 6: this myself, so I feel like it's hard for me

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Speaker 6: to make an opinion on this one. However, I don't know.

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Speaker 6: I think that like being a new mom. Everything about

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Speaker 6: that takes the life out of you. So even though

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Speaker 6: she's sitting at home and like on maternity leave, she's

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Speaker 6: still like taking care of a newborn child, which is

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Speaker 6: probably more work than him going into whatever his job

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Speaker 6: might be. And maybe he sits at a desk all

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Speaker 6: day and he gets to scroll on Instagram every once

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Speaker 6: in a while, Like that, actually, isn't really that exhausting

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Speaker 6: being a new mom though, is.

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Speaker 7: I'm going to give him a little bit of credit

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Speaker 7: because I don't know what he does or doesn't do,

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Speaker 7: and if he is being the not sole provider, but like,

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Speaker 7: if he's going to work to make money, then I

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Speaker 7: understand why he feels he shouldn't have to get up.

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Speaker 7: But I think, my man, if you're not gonna wake

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Speaker 7: up and leave mommy duties to the mom overnight, when

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Speaker 7: you get off, you need to be like she needs

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Speaker 7: to be in the bad sleep or resting or taking

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Speaker 7: a shower, like you need to be dad duty at

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Speaker 7: that point.

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Speaker 1: I think that's a good point.

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Speaker 2: I think that my thing would be like a little

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Speaker 2: bit of compromise, like he would maybe say, you know what,

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Speaker 2: you sleep all night?

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Speaker 1: This time I will get up with little Clarence.

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Speaker 2: Every I'll get up at one, I'll get up at three,

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Speaker 2: I'll get up and when I go to work, you

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Speaker 2: sleep all night this time, and maybe get a little compromise,

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Speaker 2: because I think one of the things that's hard, and

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Speaker 2: it's been so long since I've had little kids like that.

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Speaker 2: I used to love getting up with Alison and I

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Speaker 2: would like hold her and she'd like with a little

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Speaker 2: bottle and it would be dark and there'd be like

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Speaker 2: just the light from the TV on and I would

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Speaker 2: watch old TV shows in the middle of the night,

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Speaker 2: and I loved it. Those are some of my favorite

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Speaker 2: memories with her. Yeah, but I would say, maybe a

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Speaker 2: compromise where it's like, Okay, I'm gonna let you sleep

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Speaker 2: par eight hours tonight. Tomorrow night, you let me sleep

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Speaker 2: par eight hours. So well, let's well, let's see what

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Speaker 2: we think here. We got a bunch of text messages

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Speaker 2: at KATIEWB one five, three, nine two one. Guess what

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Speaker 2: it works again? Yeah, let's get people off the phone

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Speaker 2: first so you can get on with your life. Who's

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Speaker 2: on the phone now, Layen's on the thn Hi, Hi, Lauren,

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Speaker 2: what do you want to say.

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Speaker 1: About all this?

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Speaker 3: I just wanted to say that maternity leave is not

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Speaker 3: a vacation. She is not just hanging out all day

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Speaker 3: she I mean, the main reason is to be bond

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Speaker 3: with the baby, first of all, but to heal from

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Speaker 3: this significant events that happened to her body, whether it's

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Speaker 3: a C section or badgin or whatever it is, Like,

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Speaker 3: it's not I mean, she needs to rest in order

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Speaker 3: to heal, in order to produce milk and order all

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Speaker 3: of that. And I mean that's just part of what

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Speaker 3: he needs to do is help with that so that

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Speaker 3: she can sleep too. It and during the day she's

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Speaker 3: not getting to like nap for an hour or two.

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Speaker 3: That doesn't mean she gets a nap during that time.

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Speaker 1: You don't think she's spit it on a cocktail.

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Speaker 7: No.

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Speaker 2: Here's here's the funny thing is that you think, oh, well,

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Speaker 2: she can take a nap when the baby naps. No,

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Speaker 2: because when the baby naps, you got to wash bottles.

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Speaker 2: When the baby naps you got to run down to

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Speaker 2: like I mean, you can't go anywhere, but when the

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Speaker 2: baby naps, you got to finish your laundry. When the

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Speaker 2: baby naps, you got to do this. So really, mom's

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Speaker 2: do you think you're gonna get a nap when the

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Speaker 2: baby naps. It doesn't really work that way.

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Speaker 1: There are a bunch of text messages, though, and I'm curious.

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Speaker 7: Most of them seem like they're from women saying mom

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Speaker 7: of three, here, I agree with him since he works

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Speaker 7: in the morning. Another one that was the arrangement I

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Speaker 7: did with my husband when he worked. I did the

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Speaker 7: night stuff because I it went away, Oh, because I

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Speaker 7: could sleep in take naps throughout the day.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: Other people are saying that they screwed up and they

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Speaker 6: should have had a plan during the pregnancy and not

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Speaker 6: be arguing about it now.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's true. It's one of the things you don't

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Speaker 2: really think about the first month or so. When they

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Speaker 2: don't sleep through the night. It's hard, but it goes by,

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Speaker 2: like everything in life goes by. You blink and all

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Speaker 2: of a sudden they're sleeping through the night. It doesn't

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Speaker 2: seem like that when they're two weeks old. Here's what

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Speaker 2: we got. We're basically talking about somebody who called in

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Speaker 2: last week and they said, my wife and I are

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Speaker 2: having a disagreement. We've got a baby, she's on maternity leave.

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Speaker 2: I have to get up at six to go to work.

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Speaker 2: She wants me to do some of the three am

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Speaker 2: two am feedings, and I don't want to because I

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Speaker 2: get to get up two hours later. Text messages. Our

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Speaker 2: pediatrician recommended to my family that Dad needs sleep to

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Speaker 2: get to work and mom wakes up at night. We

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Speaker 2: schedule blocks to give mom breaks and naps, but Dad

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Speaker 2: needs sleep to provide And I think that's true. I'm

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Speaker 2: sure Dad's not sitting there picking his booty over at work.

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Speaker 2: He's probably busy doing whatever.

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Speaker 5: I don't know, but i'd like to have that job.

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Speaker 8: Though.

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Speaker 5: Where can I get a job that.

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Speaker 1: You get a job?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Can you do that, Jenny? You are one percent right.

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Speaker 2: Mom's on maternity to leave. Do not get any chance

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Speaker 2: to rest during the day. It's exhausting. He is getting

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Speaker 2: his solid night's sleep, She is getting intermittent sleep, which

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Speaker 2: is good as nuts.

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Speaker 6: And you have to also think that, like she's dealing

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Speaker 6: with a baby who's crying and ornery, and you're trying

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Speaker 6: to figure out what's wrong with the baby all day.

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Speaker 6: Whereas like, once again, we don't know what this guy

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Speaker 6: does for work. Maybe he does have a stressful job,

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Speaker 6: but a lot of people's jobs aren't like brain surgery,

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Speaker 6: and it is like a lot of sitting at desk

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Speaker 6: or like maybe doing construction, which I know that that's

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Speaker 6: like stress on her body.

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Speaker 1: I mean, anybody who works, it's stressful.

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Speaker 2: If you work at I don't know, Gil a Cargill,

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Speaker 2: it's stressful because you got to do this, you got

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Speaker 2: to do that, you got to do it by the deadline.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know that there's any job where it's like,

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Speaker 2: oh man, my job is who Thank god, my job.

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Speaker 1: Is so easy.

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Speaker 2: I was really surprised because we played that clip on Friday.

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Speaker 1: We said, let's revisit it.

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Speaker 2: We talked about it about fifteen twenty minutes ago, and

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Speaker 2: I was really surprised that I really thought people would

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Speaker 2: roast this guy. Yeah they were saying yeah, because they

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Speaker 2: really did on Friday, and that's why we came back

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Speaker 2: to it. But there are a surprising number of moms

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Speaker 2: that are like, yeah, you know what, I'm kind of

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Speaker 2: on his side. But not everybody thinks that. This text,

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Speaker 2: for example, says I think he's fair. They just need

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Speaker 2: to communicate a schedule that works for them. As a mom,

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Speaker 2: hold on, it just went away. It does that sometimes

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Speaker 2: as a mom, hold on Okay, I agree with him

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Speaker 2: because if he has a job where he could get

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Speaker 2: in big trouble or fired if he makes a mistake

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Speaker 2: because he is super tired, well, what is the point

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Speaker 2: of been going back to work and providing for the

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Speaker 2: family if he's tired and risking his job. Here's another

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Speaker 2: one that said, we are currently in the newborn trenches

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Speaker 2: with a seven week old. They're still not sleeping through

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Speaker 2: the night at seven weeks old. Some babies do it early,

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Speaker 2: some people, some babies do it months later. We switch

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Speaker 2: the middle of the night feedings and usually go by

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Speaker 2: whoever's most tired. But if we also split it up

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Speaker 2: where one of us feeds in the other burbs and

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Speaker 2: rocks the baby back to sleep, or in my case,

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Speaker 2: I go pump while dad is feeding.

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Speaker 5: I do have Krista on the phone if we want

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Speaker 5: to talk to her real quick.

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Speaker 2: Christa, we're talking about whether it's fair for him to

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Speaker 2: be like, I don't want to get up at two

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Speaker 2: in the morning, I have to go to work at six, Krista,

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Speaker 2: what do you think?

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Speaker 8: Well, first, and on a second of previous comments that

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Speaker 8: this is a huge change for a woman's body, and

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Speaker 8: she is asking for help. I think it's important if

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Speaker 8: you are truly her partner, you help her. She needs help.

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Speaker 8: It doesn't have to be forever. But if she needs help,

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Speaker 8: she's asking for help.

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Speaker 2: She needs this, okay, right, think I think that, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think that's the kind of thing. Is kind of like,

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Speaker 2: if you need me to get up, then I'll do it.

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Speaker 1: But I also think, you know, I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to speak out of turn.

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Speaker 2: But there is somebody who says I am a mom

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Speaker 2: of four, and I agree with him. So there are

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Speaker 2: people who see different sides. Here's one from a said

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Speaker 2: I'm a Newish first time dad. Here, my wife and

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Speaker 2: I did a similar thing as this guy. I did

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Speaker 2: the ten pm and the five and the five am feedings.

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Speaker 2: My wife did the two am. That way, I was

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Speaker 2: rested up enough where I could still function and be

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Speaker 2: professional in my job, but then she got to sleep

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Speaker 2: in a little bit in the morning. And I will

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Speaker 2: say that I think that if if dad goes into

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Speaker 2: work and he's a little bit ti, they're gonna be like, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I get it. You know, Craig is tired because he's

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Speaker 2: got a new baby. So more text messages should have

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Speaker 2: had a plan during pregnancy.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, a few people have texted that one in I

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Speaker 6: kind of agree with him as well. My way of

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Speaker 6: thinking is I'll get up in the on the feeding

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Speaker 6: into the middle of the night while on Materney leave,

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Speaker 6: but once I go back to work then I would

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Speaker 6: expect him to help out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Somebody said the fact that he said my wife just

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Speaker 2: had a kid and not we just had a kid,

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Speaker 2: that's a red flag. A couple of weeks on the

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Speaker 2: show ago, on the show, maybe a couple of months ago,

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Speaker 2: a guy said we just had a kid, and he

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Speaker 2: got roasted and people said, no, your wife just had

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Speaker 2: a kid. So he couldn't win no matter which way

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Speaker 2: he said it. So, I don't know, I've been through

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Speaker 2: it a couple of times, and I'm going to tell

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Speaker 2: you this. You forget all of those things, those miserable

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Speaker 2: overnight feedings, all of that. You just kind of forget

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Speaker 2: all the squawking. What's that song? You're gonna miss this,

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Speaker 2: You're gonna want this back? And it's about this mom

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Speaker 2: who's got kids that are screaming and like you know,

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Speaker 2: like I don't know, stuffing like things down the toilet

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Speaker 2: and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: It's like you you don't remember all those bad things.

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Speaker 1: You just remember how freaking cute they are.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, you do. I don't have the experience, but what

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Speaker 6: I hear from other parents, that is what you remember.