WEBVTT - Don't Call The Cops 

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<v Speaker 1>All right, it is Mojo in the morning show. Mojo

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<v Speaker 1>and Shannon keV Anda Lovely Lady. We've got Bianca zach

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<v Speaker 1>All here. We've got Charlie Mayo Mayo and Grand Rapids

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<v Speaker 1>running our show on S and X, and Big d

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<v Speaker 1>Daniel hanging out in Toledo a kiss.

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<v Speaker 2>It's good to have you guys here with us today.

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<v Speaker 1>Yesterday I was on the phone talking to my neighbor

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<v Speaker 1>Paul Klem. He's my my buddy. Who if you've never

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<v Speaker 1>met this guy before, you will laugh your butt off

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<v Speaker 1>if you do. Like he's He's very funny. He's one

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<v Speaker 1>of those guys. He's one of those guys where you

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<v Speaker 1>meet him for about five seconds and you feel like

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<v Speaker 1>you've known him for the rest of your life. He

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<v Speaker 1>was telling me a story about how he went to

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<v Speaker 1>the Auburn Hills Costco and he said that he had

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<v Speaker 1>to go to the bathroom, and he said he actually

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<v Speaker 1>went on his tangent, which is interesting, and the tangent

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<v Speaker 1>was before he told me the story was there are

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<v Speaker 1>certain places that have such good bathrooms that if you

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<v Speaker 1>have to go, you might as well. And he said

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<v Speaker 1>that costcos are that. Really, he said, Costco bathrooms. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know what they do, but they're always clean. And

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<v Speaker 1>it's funny because I can I tell you something. I

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<v Speaker 1>have gone numerous times and thoughts to myself when I

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<v Speaker 1>walked in, this looks like it's freshly cleaned. I have

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<v Speaker 1>no idea why that is. They have good bathroom policies.

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<v Speaker 1>So he went to the bathroom at the Costco. He

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<v Speaker 1>got done doing his duties and he walked out, and

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<v Speaker 1>as he's walking out to go wash his hands, he

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<v Speaker 1>looks over to the left and he sees a woman

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<v Speaker 1>washing her hands and he goes, excuse me, miss, I

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<v Speaker 1>think you're in the wrong bathroom, and she looks at

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<v Speaker 1>him and goes, no, I'm not. She worked there. She

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<v Speaker 1>actually had a name tag on. She goes, there's no

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<v Speaker 1>urinals in hair. He had just got done duty in

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<v Speaker 1>the women's restroom, and so then he starts getting that

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<v Speaker 1>panic sweat, you know where all all of a sudden,

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<v Speaker 1>you start panicking, going, I'm going to be a sex offender.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what this accident there's you know, there's got

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<v Speaker 1>to be cameras all over the place. She I guess

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<v Speaker 1>this employee was like laughing it off a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>and She was cool with it, but he said, is

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<v Speaker 1>he's walking out, He's passing like three women. Excuse me, Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>how are you excuse me? It's like the most embarrassing thing.

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<v Speaker 1>And then the whole rest of the time that he

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<v Speaker 1>was there, he was thinking, they're gonna come cuff me,

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<v Speaker 1>like they're gonna get crazy. Have you ever done that before?

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<v Speaker 1>Have you ever gone into the wrong bathroom not realizing

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<v Speaker 1>you're in there?

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<v Speaker 3>I think sometimes I don't know if they all have

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<v Speaker 3>like the stick figures, because I think my brain automatically

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<v Speaker 3>looks for the wider stick figure with like the triangle skirt,

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<v Speaker 3>you know what I mean in terms of like men

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<v Speaker 3>and women.

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<v Speaker 2>And I don't know if all bathrooms have that.

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<v Speaker 3>Some are harder to see, especially at night, if you

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<v Speaker 3>had a club or something like that, you bust open

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<v Speaker 3>the door and all of a sudden, all you see

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<v Speaker 3>is skirts or.

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<v Speaker 4>Some of them try to be cutesy with the labels

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<v Speaker 4>on the bathrooms, and I'm like, just say, boys are

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<v Speaker 4>a matter of women's because I don't even know.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm like.

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<v Speaker 2>Cavaleros.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I don't know what language, Just tell them put

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<v Speaker 4>a picture.

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<v Speaker 1>Rights And I have almost walked into the wrong ones,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's at the airport because at the airport they

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<v Speaker 1>have them up high and they have and yeah, you

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<v Speaker 1>just walk right into the thing and you're kind of walking.

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<v Speaker 2>You turn in and you're like, okay, this one doesn't like.

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<v Speaker 4>I've done that where I've walked in and immediately been like.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, there's a couple of hairy people in here.

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<v Speaker 4>Here Still, I don't know why we've been here for

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<v Speaker 4>a year and a half. Confuse me, because it's the

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<v Speaker 4>way that it is. It's the men's bathroom first and

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<v Speaker 4>then the women's, and I don't know why. It doesn't

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<v Speaker 4>make sense to me it should be the women's first

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<v Speaker 4>and then the men's and so no, I just I

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<v Speaker 4>feel like it's just I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>If you were in it and you heard a helly,

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<v Speaker 1>how you doing, Joe, you know what other side of

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<v Speaker 1>things and you realized, oh crap, I'm in there, would

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<v Speaker 1>you stay in the stall until you knew that the

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<v Speaker 1>coast was clear or would you cure any public restroom,

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<v Speaker 1>like if you were at the costco.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I would hide my shoes exactly.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Why seems I'd be scared or embarrassed. Yeah, get out there. Hey, Marcella,

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<v Speaker 2>it's up.

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<v Speaker 6>Hey.

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<v Speaker 7>I did that three years ago when I was pregnant.

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<v Speaker 7>I was out at Lakeside Mall and I walked around.

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<v Speaker 3>A hole mall knowing I had to use it.

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<v Speaker 7>So when I get back by the carousel where the

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<v Speaker 7>bathrooms where, I ran straight forward the men's bathroom, and

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<v Speaker 7>when I went in there, I was like, why do

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<v Speaker 7>I think in here?

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<v Speaker 6>It smell like a bunch of PEAPs.

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<v Speaker 7>When I came out to wash my hands, I was like,

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<v Speaker 7>why was there urinals in.

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<v Speaker 8>A women's bathroom? So when I came out of.

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<v Speaker 7>The bathroom, the man was sitting in there and my

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<v Speaker 7>husband was like, I was trying to tell you.

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<v Speaker 6>That you win it for the men.

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<v Speaker 2>The signs were there, Why don't you come in here

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<v Speaker 2>and give me.

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<v Speaker 1>Mall bathrooms are confusing? Can you walk down long corridors

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<v Speaker 1>to get there?

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<v Speaker 2>You know?

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<v Speaker 1>They kind of have him like tucked away in the back, Helena,

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<v Speaker 1>what's up, Helena?

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<v Speaker 9>Hi?

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<v Speaker 5>So when I was in Utah one time, I was

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<v Speaker 5>very intoxicated and I accidentally walked into the men's restroom

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<v Speaker 5>at a concert, and Utah is very dry, so I

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<v Speaker 5>was the only one that was intoxicated. In that room,

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<v Speaker 5>and I just kind of stood there with a blank

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<v Speaker 5>stare in my face, very confused.

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<v Speaker 1>So the guys weren't like welcoming, like hey, because I

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<v Speaker 1>would think walk I think women in a men's restroom

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<v Speaker 1>way more welcoming than a woman seeing a dude walking out.

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<v Speaker 2>Of a stall. You know.

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<v Speaker 5>Nope, not there. They just kind of looked at me, like, what.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you doing? It's yeah, what's going on in Sandra High?

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<v Speaker 8>Hi? I have a funny wrong bathroom story. Yeah, So

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<v Speaker 8>my son was in the bathroom at a restaurant when

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<v Speaker 8>he was about four years old, and he's always had

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<v Speaker 8>really long hair. Well, he goes by himself because he

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<v Speaker 8>refuses to go in a girl's bathroom with me.

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<v Speaker 9>I hear somebody's scream there's little girl in here.

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<v Speaker 8>And then I hear my son, I am not.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh Jesus, Yeah, he was gonna sea.

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<v Speaker 1>Can I Can I tell you something on a totally

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<v Speaker 1>different level, I miss steer this one. I was out

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<v Speaker 1>of a I was out of a public place and

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<v Speaker 1>I won't say where it is because of uh a friend.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a friend's place, and a guy or a

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<v Speaker 1>kid walked up and asked is me and another guy

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<v Speaker 1>going to the bathroom asked if we would take him

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<v Speaker 1>to the bathroom.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, no taking you know what I mean the

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<v Speaker 2>kid wanted.

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<v Speaker 1>The kid was looking like because I guess you know, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>my dad's still sitting at the table.

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<v Speaker 2>Would you take him?

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, no, we're not taking you to the bathroom.

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<v Speaker 1>What's going on in Lisha?

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<v Speaker 9>Hi?

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah? So I work at one campus Marshes and last

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<v Speaker 7>year I moved to the other side of this floor.

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<v Speaker 7>And the way that they have it set up, the

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<v Speaker 7>men and women's bathroom are opposite, so like walk I

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<v Speaker 7>just out of habit. I almost walked into the men's

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<v Speaker 7>bathrooms almost.

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<v Speaker 2>Everything every time. Yeah, all those floors looked similar to.

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<v Speaker 1>I never knew that there was a setup that the

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<v Speaker 1>bathrooms are all meant to be women's first, men's second.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't I don't know if that's even the case.

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<v Speaker 2>It just it just seems like it's sticks.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what's up, Diana?

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<v Speaker 2>How are you?

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<v Speaker 9>I'm sorry? Hi? So our company had just moved out

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<v Speaker 9>to Auburn Hills from Troy and it's a big, huge

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<v Speaker 9>company and I was up on the second floor and

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<v Speaker 9>where we said, there are like individual bathrooms, so they

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<v Speaker 9>had unisex on them, so the guys go in the

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<v Speaker 9>girls bathroom and whatever. So then I went down to

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<v Speaker 9>another part of our building and I had to go

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<v Speaker 9>to the bathroom, and I'm like, okay, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 9>try these bathrooms over here. And I didn't really look

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<v Speaker 9>at the sign. I just kind of walked in, and

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<v Speaker 9>I walked in, I saw the urinals, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 9>maybe they just didn't mark the bathrooms yet. So I

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<v Speaker 9>went in and I just went to the bathroom. I

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<v Speaker 9>only went number one. And as I'm walking out, our

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<v Speaker 9>CFO is standing there at the yarnal going to the bathroom.

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<v Speaker 9>Oh god, awkward now, and I went.

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<v Speaker 6>Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 9>I covered my eyes and I ran out and I

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<v Speaker 9>ran into the other one, the next one, and I'm like, okay, well,

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<v Speaker 9>this is the women's bathroom. So then I came back

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<v Speaker 9>out and I noticed that he had already left the

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<v Speaker 9>men's bathroom, so I had to go in there and

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<v Speaker 9>get my stuff that I left on the counter. And

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<v Speaker 9>as I'm walking out, he is in the middle of

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<v Speaker 9>the room.

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<v Speaker 10>Laughing at me, going okay, Diane, look at this, and

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<v Speaker 10>he holds his arms down on his side and his

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<v Speaker 10>hands out like a skirt.

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<v Speaker 9>He goes, well, this.

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<v Speaker 2>Is the women's know you that.

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<v Speaker 9>My god and the entire persony.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's more awkward for the guys. For some reason.

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<v Speaker 1>It's more awkward always for the men when they have

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<v Speaker 1>a woman that will be in there than it is

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<v Speaker 1>for the guys.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm glad she went number one and number two and

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<v Speaker 3>she said she ran out and put her hands on

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<v Speaker 3>her face.

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<v Speaker 1>Did didn't wash your you caught that. I caught that too.

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<v Speaker 1>Diane washed her hands. H what's up, Rob? What's going on?

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<v Speaker 6>Hey? Good morning?

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<v Speaker 2>How are you're okay? Rob?

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<v Speaker 6>I just got a phone call from my wife. I'm

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<v Speaker 6>driving into work. She told me that we had to

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<v Speaker 6>call in about my story camping up in the up

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<v Speaker 6>basically an early riser. We were camping at a state

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<v Speaker 6>park up there, and it was get up early and

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<v Speaker 6>I'm grabbed my coffee and I'm walking and I'm sorry,

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<v Speaker 6>a little nervous. I'm walking with my coffee and the

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<v Speaker 6>coffee is like a regular thing for me. Yeah, it

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<v Speaker 6>gets the uh, gets everything moving, gets it going walking around.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm walking around the campground and I get kind of

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<v Speaker 6>far away and I'm like oh, I got to go.

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<v Speaker 6>So I start, I turn around and I start heading

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<v Speaker 6>back to the camper and I'm like, I'm not going

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<v Speaker 6>to make it. So I was like looking, looking, and

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<v Speaker 6>I'm like, oh, there's a public bathroom. So I'm like

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<v Speaker 6>double time in it. And it's like your body knows.

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<v Speaker 2>You're getting close to yeah, So.

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<v Speaker 6>You know, hustling in there. I'm spilling my coffee that

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<v Speaker 6>I'm drinking on the way in, and I'm like, oh

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<v Speaker 6>my gosh, I gotta make it. I gotta make it.

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<v Speaker 6>And I just bust in. I hit the stall. I'm

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<v Speaker 6>spilling my coffee, I pulled, you know, I undressed. I

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<v Speaker 6>start going to the bathroom and I was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 6>I didn't make it, Peter, Wow. I'm sitting there and

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<v Speaker 6>I was like, all right, I got to clean up,

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<v Speaker 6>and I got to get this met. You know, I

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<v Speaker 6>got to uh get mydwear off and get rid of

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<v Speaker 6>it before anybody walked in. So I'm thinking about it

0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:20.680
<v Speaker 6>and I'm getting my strategy together, and you know, I

0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:23.600
<v Speaker 6>clean up and I'm like, I wad out my underwear

0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:24.920
<v Speaker 6>and I was like, all right, I'm just going to

0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:27.040
<v Speaker 6>make a run for the garbage can and get.

0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:27.400
<v Speaker 2>Rid of it.

0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:31.120
<v Speaker 6>So I I didn't hear anybody come in, so I

0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:35.880
<v Speaker 6>bust in or I bust out of the doll and

0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:39.439
<v Speaker 6>I run in and I throw my h underwear out,

0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:41.720
<v Speaker 6>and I was like, oh right, I made it. So

0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:43.960
<v Speaker 6>I go over to the sink and I wash my hands,

0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:46.840
<v Speaker 6>and all of a sudden, the door opens up, and

0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:52.400
<v Speaker 6>I look over and this lady's walking in, sorry about that,

0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:55.600
<v Speaker 6>And I was like, all right, no problem. And I'm

0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:57.439
<v Speaker 6>sitting there and I'm finishing up, and all of a

0:11:57.440 --> 0:11:59.520
<v Speaker 6>sudden she opens the door again and she's like looking

0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.280
<v Speaker 6>at me, and it all comes together. I go, am

0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:06.880
<v Speaker 6>I in the wrong yep, And I go, oh my gosh,

0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:07.840
<v Speaker 6>I'm so sorry.

0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:08.679
<v Speaker 2>Rob.

0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:12.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, your wife called you and made you up the

0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:15.320
<v Speaker 1>show to tell you that story, to embarrass you.

0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:18.000
<v Speaker 2>How do you stayed it?

0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:20.120
<v Speaker 9>Hap that story?

0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:22.240
<v Speaker 6>I tell that story all the time.

0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:24.720
<v Speaker 2>The best part.

0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:30.760
<v Speaker 9>Yeah.

0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:36.520
<v Speaker 6>We were camping with a couple and I didn't really

0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:40.800
<v Speaker 6>you know, this isn't something you brag about. So friends

0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:43.960
<v Speaker 6>of ours. Uh, she went to the bathroom and we're

0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:47.720
<v Speaker 6>sitting around the campfire later and uh, I bring this

0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:50.920
<v Speaker 6>up and she goes, oh my gosh, that was you.

0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:53.400
<v Speaker 6>She goes I use that same stall, and there was

0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:54.520
<v Speaker 6>coffee all over

0:12:54.559 --> 0:13:01.920
<v Speaker 2>The it's raining from the ceilings.