WEBVTT - Friendship Phase 

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<v Speaker 1>It's Mojo. In the morning show, Shannon wants to talk

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<v Speaker 1>about something that I wonder if you're in this phase too,

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<v Speaker 1>And if you are or you have been, then let's

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<v Speaker 1>have a little discussion here. What's going on. I miss

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<v Speaker 1>my friends. I miss my friends so much.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like I'm used to seeing them way more

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<v Speaker 2>often than I have lately, and I am feeling it.

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<v Speaker 2>And I say that because my friends fill me up.

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<v Speaker 2>Spending time with my best girlfriends is so cathartic for me.

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<v Speaker 2>It's so needed, just for my mental health and my

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<v Speaker 2>heart and for my happiness. And nothing is wrong, like

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<v Speaker 2>there's no drama or anything like that. And actually, I

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<v Speaker 2>know a lot of my friends are probably listening right now,

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<v Speaker 2>running their kids to school and stuff, and I could

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<v Speaker 2>probably guarantee their feeling the same way. We just haven't

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<v Speaker 2>all had a discussion about this. But it's such a

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<v Speaker 2>busy time of year for everybody, especially women, especially my friends.

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<v Speaker 2>We all have kids, and we call this Maysumber. It's

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<v Speaker 2>like a holiday, but it's the end of the school year,

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<v Speaker 2>and so there's so many things happening with kids, sports

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<v Speaker 2>and tournaments and end of the school year stuff and

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<v Speaker 2>just events and so there's that we are all scattered,

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<v Speaker 2>Our kids are all scattered across different schools now, where

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<v Speaker 2>all of our kids used to go to the same school.

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<v Speaker 2>That's kind of how we formed, Like this particular group

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm talking about of close mom friends, and all

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<v Speaker 2>of our kids play on like different sports teams, where

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<v Speaker 2>again when they were little, everybody played on the same team,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, for the same school. And so I was

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<v Speaker 2>saying this yesterday, I'm like, I feel like I basically

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<v Speaker 2>communicate with my friends as of late through sending Instagram reels,

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<v Speaker 2>and we have a group chat too, and we're constantly

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<v Speaker 2>texting in the group chat, but actually spending face to

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<v Speaker 2>face quality time is I'm like, craving that.

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<v Speaker 1>So bad right now.

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<v Speaker 2>And I just feel like we're in this phase of

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<v Speaker 2>friendship where and I hate saying life is so busy, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>but we're.

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<v Speaker 1>All so you know, in your life, you go through

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<v Speaker 1>so many different types of friendships. Yeah, and when you

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<v Speaker 1>when Lucy switched schools, which is she was the one

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<v Speaker 1>that switched schools right this past year, it does change

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<v Speaker 1>life because we.

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<v Speaker 2>Did the same thing part of it too, Yeah, Loose switched,

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<v Speaker 2>Loose switched. Outside of the district that a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>my mom friends still have kids in.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we we did the same thing with the kids

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<v Speaker 1>were in public school and then they ended up going

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<v Speaker 1>to Catholic school. Yeah, and it's weird because then all

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<v Speaker 1>of a sudden, you don't see as much, uh you know,

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<v Speaker 1>the kids aren't hanging out as much, which is kind

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<v Speaker 1>of wild. It's so this is what did you call again?

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<v Speaker 3>May?

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<v Speaker 1>What May sumber? Maysmber? So that's wild because yeah, because

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<v Speaker 1>the end of the school year or end of uh

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<v Speaker 1>you know, the holidays is kind of crazy. You talk

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<v Speaker 1>about reels, sending reels, I think a friendship sometimes can

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<v Speaker 1>happen through reels. I know it sounds weird to say this,

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<v Speaker 1>but you've got to be willing to not just love

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<v Speaker 1>or like the reels that come through. You have to

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<v Speaker 1>make some common.

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<v Speaker 4>To every now and again. Yeah, because I find that

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<v Speaker 4>with my friends too. I like my friends Lindsay and Ashley.

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<v Speaker 4>We probably send the three of us are on like

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<v Speaker 4>a group. We probably send a dozen reels a days

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<v Speaker 4>to each other.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm like, I want to hang out with them

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<v Speaker 2>and have a glass of wine on the patio. But

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<v Speaker 2>I just know that that's not that's hard to maneuver

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<v Speaker 2>right now, So I'll take what I can get.

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<v Speaker 1>Can you be as fulfilled if you just guys get

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<v Speaker 1>on the phone and talk to each other or do

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<v Speaker 1>you guys not do that? Like even just a quick

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<v Speaker 1>check in.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's not the same as spending time with your friends.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I was literally just talking to Anne about this.

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<v Speaker 5>It's a guy, his name is Demetrius, and the same

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<v Speaker 5>thing is with my friends. Like the love is still there,

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<v Speaker 5>oh yeah, but the face to face contact and connection

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<v Speaker 5>isn't as regular. And one of the things that I

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<v Speaker 5>saw was God Demetri's post on his Instagram was he

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<v Speaker 5>does a thing called fellas Friday where every Friday or

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<v Speaker 5>the majority of the Fridays when they can do it,

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<v Speaker 5>they go bowling or something like that. And the problem

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<v Speaker 5>I feel like with my friend group, and I'll just

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<v Speaker 5>say myself within the friend group, because I've gotta look

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<v Speaker 5>at myself. I'm not as intentional with setting up a

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<v Speaker 5>time to get with my friends. Yeah, like we could

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<v Speaker 5>easily do something, and it's just like once every three months,

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<v Speaker 5>like we went to the Drake party, but before then

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<v Speaker 5>I really couldn't tay the last time we all hung out.

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<v Speaker 1>So it was like last summer, yeah, like that.

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<v Speaker 2>But last week, my my girlfriend Jess owns an incredible

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<v Speaker 2>business called Meta and Moxie, and my other girlfriend Carrie

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<v Speaker 2>is starting back up the Birthday Party Project here in Detroit,

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<v Speaker 2>which if you don't know about that, please please google.

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<v Speaker 1>It's an amazing organization.

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<v Speaker 2>So my friend Jess hosted an event for the Birthday

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<v Speaker 2>Party Project at her business, and so I got to

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<v Speaker 2>see some of my friends. I went home, it was

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<v Speaker 2>like I was on cloud nine. West was like, you

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<v Speaker 2>are such a different person after you spend time with

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<v Speaker 2>your friends, and I'm like, I feel like I took

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<v Speaker 2>it for granted so much when all of our kids

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<v Speaker 2>were in like me, first, second, third grade and we

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<v Speaker 2>saw each other every couple of days.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, some guys I know are just on softball

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<v Speaker 1>teams just for the sake of just making sure once

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<v Speaker 1>a year or twice a year minute that they do fallball.

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<v Speaker 1>They just get around their guys. So maybe you need

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<v Speaker 1>to do something like that with the ladies. Maybe. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I love my friends, I don't love Samantha horrible.

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<v Speaker 1>You know me, what's going on, Samantha.

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<v Speaker 6>That's why I make a comment. I've lost a lot

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<v Speaker 6>of friendships over the last few years. I would say,

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<v Speaker 6>people grow apart and it just sucks. Like I've known

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<v Speaker 6>people for like fifteen years, they just don't talk to

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<v Speaker 6>me no more.

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<v Speaker 1>What happened? What did did you do something, Samantha that

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<v Speaker 1>we should know about?

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<v Speaker 6>No, no, no, no, just people grow apart, like gets

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<v Speaker 6>too busy and people put what you know?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, wow, it sucks. That sucks. Well, you know what.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that in life, you never are too late

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<v Speaker 1>to make a friend. Sometimes sometimes the coolest is to

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<v Speaker 1>meet a new friend later in life, you know.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I have two friends that I'll talk to, like

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<v Speaker 6>on a weekly basis.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>So it's just a lot of people that I just

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<v Speaker 6>could talking to just don't reach out, and I'm just

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<v Speaker 6>not going to be the first to reach out anymore.

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<v Speaker 6>But yeah, life just happens and it sucks.

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<v Speaker 1>Shannon wants to know if you want to hang out

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<v Speaker 1>with your friends, start my softball? What's out of Courtney?

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<v Speaker 3>Hi?

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<v Speaker 7>Hi?

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<v Speaker 1>How are you good? What's going on?

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<v Speaker 7>So?

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<v Speaker 3>I have a friend base that I met in high

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<v Speaker 3>school and some of us have moved to different states

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<v Speaker 3>and we talk every morning, text each other, every morning,

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<v Speaker 3>touch base with each other and hey, how's it going.

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<v Speaker 3>Who has a problem? You know, whatever I had. They

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<v Speaker 3>have kids I've never met and we but I feel

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<v Speaker 3>like I know their children based off of the conversation

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<v Speaker 3>from their parents. We get together maybe once a year,

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<v Speaker 3>and when that happens, it is like soul changed.

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<v Speaker 1>It is I like the idea that every morning you

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<v Speaker 1>guys check in with each other. Is it always just text?

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 8>Always?

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<v Speaker 1>Just that's kind of neat. Yeah. I kind of have

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<v Speaker 1>that with a couple of friends too, where it's a

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<v Speaker 1>good morning text and they're better at it than I am.

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<v Speaker 1>But I got to make sure that I'm responsive and

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<v Speaker 1>also lead the way on some of those. But it's

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<v Speaker 1>it is nice just to be able to say, hey, man,

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<v Speaker 1>have a great day. You're good at this key have

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<v Speaker 1>you always like to send like a quick little note?

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<v Speaker 1>I never did them. I'll see you in real life,

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<v Speaker 1>he likes, especially when you're eating next day. What's going

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<v Speaker 1>on canvas?

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<v Speaker 5>Hi?

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<v Speaker 1>Hi?

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<v Speaker 9>My comment is that when you become an empty nester,

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<v Speaker 9>all of a sudden, you lose all of your friends.

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<v Speaker 8>Because I have this.

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<v Speaker 9>Core group of friends and since little League, we're all together.

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<v Speaker 9>We're hanging out. We get together want some month, and

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<v Speaker 9>you know, we see each other at the sporting events

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<v Speaker 9>every day. But then when your kids go away to college,

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<v Speaker 9>then it's like, now we only conversate. They're in text

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<v Speaker 9>messages and like, you know, like Shannon said, send me

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<v Speaker 9>reels and I listen my friends, but it's so hard

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<v Speaker 9>for us, like we're all doing our own things now

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<v Speaker 9>and it's like, where did all of my friends go?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, it is interesting. You know, the whole kid's

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<v Speaker 1>not going to the same schools. They changes a lot.

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<v Speaker 9>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And by the way, I'm lapping myself into like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just as busy as everybody. Like we're all just

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<v Speaker 2>so busy. And as much as I hate that frickin' word,

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<v Speaker 2>I hate the word busy, but that's the reality of

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of a lot of situations.

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<v Speaker 1>Good good, And I'll say something after good. Hannah, Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>what's up?

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<v Speaker 10>So I just wanted to comment on I recently, two

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<v Speaker 10>years ago, moved to the Detroit area from Florida, and

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<v Speaker 10>I'm in my late twenties and i had a really

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<v Speaker 10>close group of friends down there, and since I've moved here,

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<v Speaker 10>I think I've lost and every single one of those

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<v Speaker 10>friendship because it's just so difficult to travel back and

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<v Speaker 10>forth and keep in touch. And I'm so busy. There's

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<v Speaker 10>a busy the all kids.

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<v Speaker 1>But technology is so easy to keep in touch with. Though,

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<v Speaker 1>why do you guys not try to FaceTime every now

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<v Speaker 1>and again?

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<v Speaker 10>You know, like they'll be like tech back and forth.

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<v Speaker 10>But some people are just like it's too hard, you know, to.

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<v Speaker 11>Just try to you know, what you got to do friendship,

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<v Speaker 11>use the advantage of Michigan summers compared to Florida summers,

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<v Speaker 11>and then you enjoy the Florida winters, you know.

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<v Speaker 10>Yeah, And you know travel is just so expensive right

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<v Speaker 10>now too, So it's hard, but I try to get

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<v Speaker 10>down there as I can. But also, like making friendships,

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<v Speaker 10>I think as an adult is a lot harder from

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<v Speaker 10>when you were younger, and especially moving to a new

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<v Speaker 10>town where you know nobody, it can be even more difficult.

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<v Speaker 1>So we're opening our arms to you, Hannah. We want

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<v Speaker 1>to welcome you here, but.

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<v Speaker 2>We are not starting a softball team. Want to make

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<v Speaker 2>that very very clear.

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<v Speaker 1>Everything's on the table.

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<v Speaker 10>I'm just getting involved in a community theater and attempts

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<v Speaker 10>to try to make friends.

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<v Speaker 1>That's cool. That sounds good. What was your comment?

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<v Speaker 3>So?

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<v Speaker 5>I was going to say, I haven't thought this out,

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<v Speaker 5>but we know, and you know, biblically talk about it too.

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<v Speaker 5>Everything has a season, right, But I feel like we

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<v Speaker 5>don't always attach that to friendships. Like there is a

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<v Speaker 5>season when you have your core group and y'all outside

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<v Speaker 5>and you're a partying or you're having conversations all the time,

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<v Speaker 5>and then there may be a season where it's not

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<v Speaker 5>like that. But I feel like that mindset isn't always

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<v Speaker 5>attached to that type of situation.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I always tell Loose you have friends for a season,

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<v Speaker 2>a reason, or forever. And I think why I'm feeling

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<v Speaker 2>this so hard right now is like I consider these

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<v Speaker 2>these are my forever friends, so I want to spend

0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:47.800
<v Speaker 2>so much time with them.

0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:51.240
<v Speaker 1>You know, is there any word that you could have

0:10:51.360 --> 0:10:53.800
<v Speaker 1>for the third one, the forever so it's season reason

0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:56.960
<v Speaker 1>and whatever else rhymes with them? What what would be

0:10:57.000 --> 0:11:03.040
<v Speaker 1>something for forever, season reason or forever, Shannon, I got

0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:05.280
<v Speaker 1>two callers that have ideas for you on how to

0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:14.640
<v Speaker 1>maintain your friendships, actually three callers. Amanda you there, Hi, Amanda, Hi.

0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:17.880
<v Speaker 7>So my friends and I have been friends since high school.

0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:21.560
<v Speaker 7>But growing up, you know, we get apart and lose

0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:23.920
<v Speaker 7>track of time. But we make it once a month.

0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:27.480
<v Speaker 7>We call it supper club, where once a month we

0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:31.720
<v Speaker 7>go to one of our houses and we get together

0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:34.840
<v Speaker 7>and whoever's house is, we make dinner and it just

0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:37.400
<v Speaker 7>kind of like holds us.

0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:39.280
<v Speaker 1>Shannon's out, she's not a good cook.

0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:42.040
<v Speaker 7>Well, we ordered pizza.

0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:47.000
<v Speaker 1>Pizza, that sounds finn No, that's that's a good idea.

0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:49.480
<v Speaker 1>I like that supper supper club. That's kind of cool.

0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:51.520
<v Speaker 1>This one's a good one too.

0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:52.360
<v Speaker 8>Uh.

0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:54.600
<v Speaker 1>Could you see Shannon part of a book club?

0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:55.480
<v Speaker 8>Amy?

0:11:55.520 --> 0:12:02.720
<v Speaker 1>Are you there? Amy? Amy? You guys do book club

0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:05.600
<v Speaker 1>and dinner? Is that right? Yeah?

0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:08.240
<v Speaker 8>Well, I have their different things. I have a group

0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:11.160
<v Speaker 8>of women that we all met through the PTO when

0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:14.600
<v Speaker 8>our kids were little, and we're empty nesters now and

0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:17.320
<v Speaker 8>we have a monthly book club or a monthly dinner

0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:19.800
<v Speaker 8>on the fifteenth of the month, and some of us

0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:22.160
<v Speaker 8>also do a book club. What did you guys have.

0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:24.120
<v Speaker 1>Five days ago? Did you guys have a good meal

0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:25.160
<v Speaker 1>five days ago?

0:12:26.880 --> 0:12:30.640
<v Speaker 8>Actually I couldn't go because I was hosting a family

0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:33.280
<v Speaker 8>dinner for the first time in six months with my parents.

0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:36.600
<v Speaker 8>But we go out to eat. We don't we go

0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:40.120
<v Speaker 8>out to eat, so any berries on. If someone has

0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:42.360
<v Speaker 8>a birthday that month, they pick where we're going.

0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:45.160
<v Speaker 1>What's the last good book you guys enjoyed in your club?

0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:50.800
<v Speaker 8>I will let's see. This month we're reading the book

0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:55.880
<v Speaker 8>Club for Troublesome Women, and last month I should be

0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:58.160
<v Speaker 8>able to tell you, but I'm already a month ahead.

0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:00.839
<v Speaker 1>So oh geez, oh my god, get a the Zame

0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:06.320
<v Speaker 1>book in there. And then finally, uh, miss Melissa Shannon,

0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:08.720
<v Speaker 1>can I do softball league? But what should she do?

0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:10.600
<v Speaker 10>Yeah?

0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:13.320
<v Speaker 3>So, once upon a time it was bingo, then it

0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:14.040
<v Speaker 3>was bunko.

0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:24.640
<v Speaker 1>Now it's majo, and everybody I know's yeah, yeah, jong,

0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:30.199
<v Speaker 1>that's what Charles wants. Yeah, amajon thing. We should do

0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:35.920
<v Speaker 1>a mojo in the morning. All right. I just don't

0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:37.760
<v Speaker 1>have friends. I just what I do is I insult

0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:40.959
<v Speaker 1>them all and and then I lose them