1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:00,440 Speaker 1: Listen. 2 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:05,479 Speaker 2: Sometimes we have super happy conversations sometimes maybe not necessarily. 3 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 2: This isn't like a sad conversation. This is more so 4 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:12,760 Speaker 2: like I need help in my relationship type of conversation. 5 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 2: Just in case I didn't say it, We're live on 6 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,599 Speaker 2: ninety three three FLZ help me out eight hundred and 7 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,080 Speaker 2: four O nine ninety three ninety three. So this has 8 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 2: been kind of a tough, like last week and a 9 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 2: half with my fiance and I Alyssa, and we sent 10 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 2: each other a lot of text messages this morning and 11 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 2: we we kind of got in a little bit of 12 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 2: a big argument over the weekend. 13 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: And she's stressed and I'm stressed. 14 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,879 Speaker 2: But her biggest thing, and I totally see her problem 15 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:52,560 Speaker 2: with me, is that like she feels like I don't 16 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 2: listen to her. She feels like when she comes home, 17 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 2: she's got like eight thousand things to tell me about 18 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 2: her day and work and all of that, and I 19 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 2: just sit. 20 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: There on my phone the all entird time, or I'm 21 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,320 Speaker 1: playing video games. 22 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:08,039 Speaker 2: And I'm like oh uh huh, oh oh, I make 23 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 2: a lot of noises. 24 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 1: Huh. 25 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 2: And then she'd be like what did I just say. 26 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh, I know, what you say? You 27 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,040 Speaker 2: know what I'm why? And then I get mad at her. 28 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,120 Speaker 2: What do you mean you think I'm not listening? I 29 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 2: know what you said. Well tell me what I said. 30 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 2: I'm not repeating you. That's redundant. We're wasting time. Don't 31 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 2: you want to tell me about your day? She'd keep 32 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 2: put the game down. I'm in the middle of the game. 33 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:35,119 Speaker 2: I can't pause it. I feel like I'm not really 34 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,039 Speaker 2: present lately. 35 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, why can't you just put your phone nor? I 36 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:39,320 Speaker 1: don't know you need to. 37 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 3: You know that she come home at the same time 38 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 3: every day, Yeah, okay, so you should know. Like I 39 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 3: have between maybe three and four, I could be on 40 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 3: my phone, but when my fiance comes home, let me 41 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 3: at least give her an hour and a half of 42 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 3: my undivided attention. 43 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I get that. And I love her also, 44 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,600 Speaker 2: by the way, like can't wait to marry her. Like 45 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 2: this week has kind of sucked. Like we had a 46 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 2: really good, uh like weekend in some moments, but then 47 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 2: on like a kind of an SSI weekend, and like 48 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 2: last night I kind of like was like a little mad, 49 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 2: and then I realized, like I think I'm the problem, 50 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 2: and uh, and I don't like that because I feel 51 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 2: bad because I feel like, too, she's having like a 52 00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 2: really stressful week with like work already, so when she's 53 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,080 Speaker 2: coming home, I feel like I'm probably causing her to 54 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 2: not really have a uh. 55 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 1: Break of the stress. 56 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 3: The good thing about it is yourself aware. You're You're 57 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 3: very aware of like not giving her that attention, So 58 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 3: now you're working on trying to get her attention when 59 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:45,920 Speaker 3: she gets well. 60 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 1: I need to. 61 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 2: Figure it out, Hey, Jocelyn, Hey, you say that you 62 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 2: relate to this very much. 63 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 4: So, yes, I work in healthcare and my boyfriend does 64 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 4: not work in healthcare, and I come home and I'll 65 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 4: have a very hard day at work and it's like 66 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 4: I just want to vent, and we sometimes have a 67 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 4: disconnection with that. But you find different outlets too, You 68 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 4: find different outlets, especially in a relationship. 69 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 1: What do you mean by that? 70 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 4: Like, I'll have a crazy story of something absolutely nuts, 71 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 4: and all I can think about is coming home and 72 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 4: talking to someone about it. And I can't cannot talk 73 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 4: about it with him because he gets very he gets 74 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 4: very grossed out with some of it he's and some 75 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 4: of it is very intense. 76 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 2: So yeah, unfortunately I don't have that excuse she works. 77 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. Maybe she needs an outlet. 78 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, and I feel like I need to be 79 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 2: that outlet. And I don't know what's necessarily going on 80 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 2: right now where I just like, I don't know. 81 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 1: I'm tired. 82 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 2: I'm not tired of her, I'm not tired of the stories. 83 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 2: I'm not tired of anything other than I'm tired. 84 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: Does that make sense? You know what I mean? 85 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 4: I get it. 86 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, So I got to work on it because at 87 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 2: the end of the day too, Like I don't look 88 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 2: at it as like I'm right, she's wrong. I genuinely 89 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 2: believe that I am like kind of like super in 90 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 2: the wrong Luna. Yes, Hi, you've gone through this as well. 91 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, sometimes you gotta sacrifice something And it sounds like 92 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 5: you are in a part in your life where you're 93 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:24,280 Speaker 5: trying to figure things out maybe and you just don't 94 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:25,599 Speaker 5: want to express that out loud. 95 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, for sure. I think about all the time. 96 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 2: Like with the show, they do this weird thing where 97 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,479 Speaker 2: we have to like define ourselves. I don't even know 98 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,720 Speaker 2: who I am, Like, I still feel like I have 99 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 2: no idea who I am, Like I know the things 100 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 2: that I want, and like I want her and I 101 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 2: want to have a family with her and all that. 102 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 2: But then when I think about the family, I go like, 103 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:49,719 Speaker 2: oh God, like that freaks me out. Oh I'm freaked out. 104 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 2: The unknown life scares right. 105 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: Well. 106 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 5: I mean sometimes you gotta eat. I mean, if you're 107 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,719 Speaker 5: taking a break, you're taking a brea. But let it 108 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,279 Speaker 5: be a break of rebuilding. Don't don't let it go 109 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 5: or just let it go past. You gotta invest like 110 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 5: the game. You're so investing, you like you'll play the game. 111 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 5: Just that's your outlet. Her outlet is talking to you. 112 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,159 Speaker 5: So maybe you might have to find another outlet or 113 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:23,839 Speaker 5: try talking to her when you you know you're feeling 114 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 5: some type of way, just take a moment to talk 115 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,960 Speaker 5: to her. Maybe she can help you figure that out. 116 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 5: You love her so much. She could be your person 117 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 5: to help you figure out who you are. 118 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:35,359 Speaker 1: Could be. 119 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 5: Yeah, but the game, the game got you. 120 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,280 Speaker 1: I appreciate you. Yeah, I know, I know. 121 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of just been a it's been a 122 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,040 Speaker 2: kind of a bad week in my relationship, and I 123 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:55,840 Speaker 2: just think it's it's the thing, I'm kind of a problem. Hey, Beca, 124 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 2: I said, just in case people are turning on the radio. 125 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 2: I just, uh, you know, I don't feel like I've 126 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 2: been the best fiance lately. Yeah, I definitely don't think 127 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:08,039 Speaker 2: I've been like really like actively listening to everything that's 128 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:08,640 Speaker 2: going on. 129 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: You know. 130 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:16,719 Speaker 6: Okay, Joe with me and my husband ways of married 131 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 6: eleven years, and we kind of fall into this trap 132 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:22,359 Speaker 6: a lot. And so we recently were going through like 133 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 6: this couple's group and someone mentioned, and I don't know 134 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,919 Speaker 6: if you've heard it before, the cycle of love and respect. 135 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,039 Speaker 6: So men want to be respected and women want to 136 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:35,599 Speaker 6: feel loved. And so if you're not showing her your 137 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,359 Speaker 6: love by putting your phone down and just listening to 138 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,760 Speaker 6: her for that little bit of time, she's going to 139 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 6: feel like she doesn't respect you, and so it kind 140 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 6: of breaks the cycle of she wants to feel loved, 141 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 6: you want to feel respected, but you're breaking that and 142 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 6: so it makes it really tricky. So if I think 143 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 6: if you spend that time just making her a priority 144 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 6: and making her feel loved, when she comes home, he's 145 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 6: going to show you all that love and respect back. 146 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,479 Speaker 6: And so just trying to be mindful and make sure 147 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,479 Speaker 6: that you're respecting her and showing her love, and she'll 148 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 6: do that in the day when you return. 149 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 2: You know, my problem is too, I'd throw money whatever 150 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 2: that happens, like, well, here, take my credit card and 151 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,400 Speaker 2: go get a massage. You deserve a massage. And then 152 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 2: finally last night she was like, why do you keep 153 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 2: doing that thing? 154 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,840 Speaker 6: Yeah, and I'll say, I feel like, when I get 155 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 6: mad at you, I have to I have to do 156 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 6: all these good things to make up for it. And 157 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 6: I'm like, but really, what's important is that you don't 158 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 6: do it again. Is that you show me that you 159 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 6: love me so much that we're not going to have 160 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 6: this conversation again. I don't want you to buy me 161 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,440 Speaker 6: flowers or a massage. I want to not have this 162 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 6: talk again. And I want you to show me that 163 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 6: you love me so much that I'm worthy of not 164 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 6: having this happen. I mean, it's just something to keep 165 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 6: in mind. You know, you're going to get married. It's 166 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 6: the rest of your life, man, So maybe. 167 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 2: Hell yeah, And this is supposed to be like the 168 00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,560 Speaker 2: super happy time. 169 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 6: Yeah, you gotta you gotta prioritize things, and it's she's 170 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 6: important to you, make her make her know that. 171 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, well she is. She's my favorite. She's my favorite. 172 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 2: I need to act like it. But we're gonna go 173 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,560 Speaker 2: on a little vacation, so I think it's. 174 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 1: Well, it's okay. He doesn't do that thing that I like. 175 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 3: Anything he stops. 176 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: Ever since I started seeing Rodina. 177 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 2: But I think that thank you guys for letting me 178 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:29,200 Speaker 2: be a little selfish with that time 179 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 1: For all of us.