1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:07,040 Speaker 1: Wake your ass up, John Jay and Rich? What's crack 2 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,400 Speaker 1: a leg? And this is the big Boss dog snoopy Deagle, 3 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,879 Speaker 1: double gigsel bang boom, what you don't do? 4 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 2: We're not talking. 5 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 3: About Rin ten Tam. 6 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 2: We're not talking about last year. It's the one and 7 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 2: only go you all the glassy lastly big snoop Eagle, 8 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 2: double gizsel in your face to me and in the 9 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 2: place to be And you're listening to John Jay and Rich, 10 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 2: wake yours. 11 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 4: Our phone number eight seven seven nine three seven one 12 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,879 Speaker 4: four seven text line text jj R whatever's on your mind? 13 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: The ninety six eight ninety. 14 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 4: Three Laura sent me a message and she wanted to 15 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,199 Speaker 4: know how to get advice from the four of us? 16 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: Am I right, Laura? 17 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 3: Yes, that's right. It's a crazy story. This is one 18 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 3: of my closest friends then has decided to reunite with 19 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 3: her baby daddy. They have a twelve year old together. 20 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,840 Speaker 3: But this guy has multiple baby baby mamas as well, 21 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 3: so I believe that they're another five kids, grand kids 22 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 3: involved everything. So where my friend comes in places. Then 23 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 3: all of a sudden, after twelve years, they have realized 24 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:13,319 Speaker 3: that they are still in love. This guy has never 25 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:16,120 Speaker 3: paid child support. He doesn't even live in the same state. 26 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 3: As a matter of fact, I think he lives like 27 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,679 Speaker 3: four or five states away. He is in jail for 28 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 3: abuse and everything to one of the ex wife, and 29 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:30,760 Speaker 3: my friend has decided to quit her job. She has 30 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,040 Speaker 3: gone in debt, all of her credit cards are maxed out, 31 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 3: her car doesn't even run right. This guy has never 32 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 3: paid anything, and she is dropping everything in here. She 33 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,959 Speaker 3: has gone from being working in a fast food restaurant 34 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 3: to managing like hospitals, and she is dropping everything to 35 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,640 Speaker 3: go and be with this guy to help him. He's 36 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 3: still in jail, and she's planning a wedding and she 37 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 3: wants me to be her maid of honor. And I 38 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 3: love her, I really do. But I think she called 39 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,079 Speaker 3: me by surprise. So I was like, oh, okay, and 40 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 3: I haven't spoke to her since it's been like two 41 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,360 Speaker 3: three weeks and I don't know you no. Well, I 42 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 3: told her kind of yes because I was kind of 43 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:19,800 Speaker 3: like shocked. I was like, oh yeah, sure, And I 44 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:21,640 Speaker 3: was like, well, what is your other friend doing? But what 45 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 3: is your other friend doing? You know, I think she 46 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 3: kind of got this, you know, she got it. And 47 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 3: I was like well, what is your other friend? You know, 48 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:33,359 Speaker 3: your other best friend. And I want to support her 49 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 3: as a friend, but I don't support what she's doing. 50 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 3: She is throwing her life away. She is even leaving 51 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 3: her daughter behind to go and be with this guy. 52 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 3: And I mean, I've been married for over twenty years 53 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:49,919 Speaker 3: and I even tell my husband, I love you so much. 54 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 3: But if we were on the same situation, you know, 55 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 3: you go, do you boo and whenever you have everything ready, 56 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 3: you know will come and meet you. Because there's no 57 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 3: way that I would, in any way in any world 58 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 3: that I would leave our two girls to come and 59 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:06,119 Speaker 3: help you build a life at fifty five years old. 60 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 1: Okay, so what is your advice to us? What are 61 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: you asking us for? 62 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 3: How do I tell her? I mean I have already 63 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,360 Speaker 3: tried to talk to her, or her family has already 64 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 3: try to talk to her. She's not listening to anybody. 65 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 3: I don't want to be rude. I want to support 66 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,680 Speaker 3: her because I love her, but I cannot support her 67 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,240 Speaker 3: marriage and what she is doing. Is there a way 68 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 3: for me to get out of not be her maid 69 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:32,920 Speaker 3: of honor and not do any of that? Or if 70 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 3: my friendship with her pretty much ruined the moment that 71 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 3: I open my mouth. 72 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 2: It's a good question. 73 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 5: That is really hard because I mean, yeah, the easy 74 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 5: hout to just say I can't do that. I don't 75 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 5: support this marriage. I don't think you should get married. 76 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 5: So I can't stand up next to you. I want 77 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 5: to because i'm your friend, but I also see what 78 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 5: you can't see right now because you got the love 79 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,640 Speaker 5: blinders on. But also, yes, that will definitely affect your 80 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 5: friendship because if she's already said no to her family, 81 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 5: and she's already said no to you, I'm going with 82 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 5: this guy, she's probably gonna cut you out. 83 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you objecting to the marriage, it may make 84 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 2: her go into I'm going to prove you all wrong exactly. 85 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 1: And then when you could do it anyway, well, when 86 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 1: she is proved. 87 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 3: Right, you know, she's probably gonna come back and say, hey, 88 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 3: I really messed up. 89 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 1: And you know, eventually maybe your guys gets friendship can 90 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 1: remand but right, you know what I mean. 91 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,360 Speaker 3: She's already Yeah, she's already like pushing me away as 92 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 3: a friend. Like our girls have been friends since they 93 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,840 Speaker 3: were in daycare, since they weren't in diapers. That's how 94 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 3: long I've been friends with her, and it's just I 95 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,039 Speaker 3: see it like she comes and tells me, you know, 96 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 3: like her bank is overdrafting, she got into a car accident, 97 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 3: we try to help her fix her car, and if 98 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 3: she has no money because she's putting everything on this 99 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,839 Speaker 3: man account, and I just don't understand. I'm so heartbroken 100 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 3: and so towarf because of that, and I just I 101 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 3: don't know how to speak to her. 102 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 4: Okay, So the advice you're asking is about being a 103 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,840 Speaker 4: maid of honor. Her financial situation, all that other stuff 104 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 4: that out of our hands. But as far as being 105 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 4: her maiden, in my opinion, my opinion, you kept talking 106 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 4: about how much you love her and how you're heard 107 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,359 Speaker 4: this friend of hers and she loves you and you 108 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 4: love her. So I have a different opinion than these three. 109 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 4: To me, it's like you're there for her. If she's 110 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 4: gonna get married no matter what, and she asked you 111 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 4: to stand up for her, then go stand up for 112 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 4: her that same way you love her. She's and if 113 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 4: the marriage falls apart, well you're like, hey, everybody else 114 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,840 Speaker 4: around you told you this is a bad idea. Your 115 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 4: whole family told you it's a bad idea. But you 116 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:30,839 Speaker 4: as a friend. You love her, so she's you go 117 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 4: be her friend during her wedding and then after that, 118 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,479 Speaker 4: you know, you can kind of do the old as 119 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,160 Speaker 4: things go on, kind of that old I told you 120 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 4: so smirk or everyone told you so. But that way 121 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,600 Speaker 4: you don't ruin a friendship. You're there for her. That's 122 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 4: my opinion. 123 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,040 Speaker 2: Actually, if you're in the wedding. I've actually almost said 124 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,240 Speaker 2: no to my buddy Chris, who asked me to be 125 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:50,920 Speaker 2: in his wedding, and everybody did not like his fiance 126 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 2: in fact, like she threw the ring back at him 127 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:58,040 Speaker 2: one time. Like they got awful, awful fights. So I 128 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,120 Speaker 2: feel like, is my job is the best man and 129 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,840 Speaker 2: you stand up for your friend. But you're like, hey, 130 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 2: you don't have to do this. You have to offer that, 131 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 2: But if they're going to go through with it, then 132 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,240 Speaker 2: you go through it. And I said, you guys fight 133 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 2: all the time, and they probably broke up in their marriage. 134 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,159 Speaker 2: They probably broke up seven or eight different times over 135 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 2: the past ten years, but they're still together and they 136 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 2: figure out way back to each other somehow. As long 137 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,480 Speaker 2: as you make your peace known, then I think you've 138 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 2: got to support your friend. 139 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,600 Speaker 3: Okay. I guess it's one of those situations that they 140 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,600 Speaker 3: tell you that you know, people deserve grades when the 141 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,160 Speaker 3: least you know needed, I mean with at least the 142 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 3: serve it. I'm sorry, and it's just I mean, I 143 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 3: agree with you, John Jay. I do want to be 144 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,280 Speaker 3: there for her because I love her her. I don't 145 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 3: support her choices, but I don't want to stop being 146 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,159 Speaker 3: her friend because I feel that everybody else is doing 147 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 3: the same thing to her. 148 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,480 Speaker 1: So well, it just when's the wedding? When is the wedding? 149 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 4: March well, nib Yeah, A lot of time. Yeah, no, 150 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 4: I think there's a lot of time for a normal wedding. 151 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:00,840 Speaker 4: Whole lot of a normal wedding. There's not a lot 152 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 4: of time for what's going on in this woman's life 153 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 4: and what's going on with this guy's life and he's 154 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,400 Speaker 4: in jail. There's lots of time for lots of things 155 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 4: to fall apart. Since this guy he's got five other 156 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 4: kids with five other women and he's in jail. There's 157 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 4: a lot of time for this waiting to fall apart. 158 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 1: But so, in my opinion, say, yes, okay, so it 159 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 1: is it. 160 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 3: Bad for me to be like hoping that something that happened. 161 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 1: No, I think. I hope things bad happen with people 162 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 1: all the time. 163 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 3: Okay, okay, now this helps me a lot. It makes 164 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 3: me feel better. Thank you for calling me again. 165 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 1: I got it. Thanks for listening. Have a great day 166 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 3: Already too, Bye.