WEBVTT - Should She Have a Wedding Five Years Later?

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<v Speaker 1>I've got a dilemma, and this is really interesting. It's

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<v Speaker 1>came in via email. Hey, warning show crew, list is

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<v Speaker 1>this one? I have a dilemma. My husband and I

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<v Speaker 1>got married during COVID, so we didn't have a real wedding.

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<v Speaker 1>We promised each other that when COVID cleared up, we'll

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<v Speaker 1>have a big, elaborate wedding. My mom bought a dress

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<v Speaker 1>for it, thinking, like a lot of us did, that

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<v Speaker 1>COVID wouldn't last very long. But now it's five years later,

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<v Speaker 1>they've got all this money saved up for this thirty

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<v Speaker 1>thousand dollars wedding. She says, I don't know if we

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<v Speaker 1>want to spend thirty thousand on a wedding. I know

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<v Speaker 1>our whole family wants to celebrate our love since they

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<v Speaker 1>didn't get to in twenty twenty. We can afford it.

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<v Speaker 1>We got the money saved up. But now the newness

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<v Speaker 1>of being married is kind of over. And that sounds awful,

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<v Speaker 1>but I get it. I get it completely. We've been

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<v Speaker 1>married five years. The honeymoon phase of being married is

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<v Speaker 1>gone and passed. We got one kid already, another one

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<v Speaker 1>on the way, So now I'm just in this dilemma

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<v Speaker 1>do we have the big wedding or not? What do

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<v Speaker 1>you think, jen.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh man, I mean to have that amount of money

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<v Speaker 2>saved up and not be like hyped about having a

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<v Speaker 2>big wedding makes me feel like you should think about

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<v Speaker 2>something else you could do with that money that like

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<v Speaker 2>maybe celebrates you now as a family, because now you

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<v Speaker 2>do have a kid and you have another one in

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<v Speaker 2>the way. You said, so maybe use it to go

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<v Speaker 2>on the most extravagant family vacation. But yeah, when you

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<v Speaker 2>have young kids, I know that like traveling isn't really

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<v Speaker 2>like top.

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<v Speaker 1>Of mind for you.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, so it's like, I don't know, Well, what

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<v Speaker 3>do you.

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<v Speaker 1>Think as you're listening to the show, what do you

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<v Speaker 1>think that you would do? Would you like you promised

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<v Speaker 1>each other? Oh my god. So they'd probably you know,

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<v Speaker 1>plann their wedding for a couple of years. Who knows.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe it was June first of twenty twenty. They're in

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<v Speaker 1>the height of COVID. Well COVID comes in. You go,

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<v Speaker 1>We're not get married with a big wedding because we

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<v Speaker 1>really can't. Nobody wants to come. So they get married

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<v Speaker 1>like you know, with a friend or the courthouse or whatever,

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<v Speaker 1>with the promise that when COVID clears up, they will

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<v Speaker 1>have the big thirty thousand dollars wedding. Here's COVID cleared up,

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<v Speaker 1>everybody can be safe, and they're not sure they want

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<v Speaker 1>to spend the money on it.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm with you, Jenny.

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<v Speaker 1>I would rather go on like a big memorable cruise,

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<v Speaker 1>have grandma watch the kids so they get another one

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<v Speaker 1>on the way. That's a problem. Yeah, it depends on

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<v Speaker 1>how on the way it is. You know, is it

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<v Speaker 1>doing like six days or six months.

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<v Speaker 2>It doesn't sound like they've planned anything yet, so clearly,

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<v Speaker 2>like if you are planning a wedding, you're planning that

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<v Speaker 2>like a year out anyways. So realistically a trip in

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<v Speaker 2>a year or a wedding in a year both very

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<v Speaker 2>high possibilities. But you're definitely not going to go on

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<v Speaker 2>a cruise with a newborn.

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<v Speaker 4>No, No, you'd be surprised.

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<v Speaker 5>Some people do it, and I don't think that they should,

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<v Speaker 5>but you know, you live your life. I guess I

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<v Speaker 5>think you should have the wedding man. And anything that

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<v Speaker 5>happened in COVID didn't really happen in my mind, because

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<v Speaker 5>COVID was such a just a weird a weird time,

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<v Speaker 5>and I mean, I'm glad you're content, but you deserve

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<v Speaker 5>the wedding.

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<v Speaker 3>She sounds like she's not super hyped about it.

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<v Speaker 4>Though, but I deserve it.

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<v Speaker 3>I've never been married, so I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>What it's like to have those like first few years

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<v Speaker 2>in marriage.

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<v Speaker 3>Where you're like so excited I'm married whatever. Well most

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<v Speaker 3>people are, who knows. But so I don't know what

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<v Speaker 3>that's like.

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<v Speaker 2>But I could imagine that, like five years down the road,

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<v Speaker 2>I would be like, yeah, I don't think I really

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<v Speaker 2>need a wedding anymore.

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<v Speaker 4>I would kind of agree with that.

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<v Speaker 1>I think if you're not excited about it to the

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<v Speaker 1>point where you're writing to katie' but you be in

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<v Speaker 1>saying should I have this, You're gonna find something more

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<v Speaker 1>fun that you want to do with that thirty thousand

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<v Speaker 1>dollars point. I mean, maybe it's like you know, I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>something as simple as a bathroom remodel or new kitchen, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how much that costs, but spend it

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<v Speaker 1>on something fun. Spend it on something that I mean

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<v Speaker 1>that was meant to be fun money. And I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to tell you one more thing. You're saying that all

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<v Speaker 1>your friends and relatives wanted to celebrate your love with

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<v Speaker 1>you and come to your wedding. They've forgotten about it.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean they've not forgotten about it, but they're not

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<v Speaker 1>sitting there going God Whin or Grace and John, whatever

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<v Speaker 1>your names are, gonna have that wedding. We really want

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<v Speaker 1>to set aside a weekend and buy a crock pot.

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<v Speaker 1>They're not. They don't care. They love you, but they

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<v Speaker 1>don't care. It's five years.

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<v Speaker 5>Too young to renew your vows. Maybe do that and

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<v Speaker 5>they make it a trip.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, a lot of people are saying, throw a big

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<v Speaker 2>party and then use.

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<v Speaker 4>These text messages.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, via text messages.

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<v Speaker 2>They should throw a big party to celebrate, but then

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<v Speaker 2>use the rest of the money for yourselves. Or it's

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<v Speaker 2>like a house or renovation or a vacation or something

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<v Speaker 2>like that.

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<v Speaker 3>Bring your most loved ones on a trip and hire a.

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<v Speaker 2>Nanny for your kids, whether you can kind of like

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<v Speaker 2>enjoy it, enjoy time with your loved ones, have the

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<v Speaker 2>kids there, but also probably be able to have some

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<v Speaker 2>free time on your own.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a text that says the only person that cares

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<v Speaker 1>is your mother because the mom bought the new dress.

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<v Speaker 1>Probably move on, no wedding. Another text kind of sums

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<v Speaker 1>up what I think. Weddings are fun, but vacations are

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<v Speaker 1>more fun, and vacations last a week and a wedding

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<v Speaker 1>is done in six hours. Nothing wrong with a wedding.

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<v Speaker 1>Thirty thousand dollars spread out over a week is going

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<v Speaker 1>to be a lot more fun than thirty thousand dollars

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<v Speaker 1>spread out. I don't even know. Tell me the truth.

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<v Speaker 1>If you are a bride or a groom, did you

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<v Speaker 1>have fun at your wedding? Did you mean, be honest

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<v Speaker 1>with me, did you have fun at your wedding? Or

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<v Speaker 1>was it And I'm not trying to plan a seed,

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<v Speaker 1>but was it more stressful and hectic and just a

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<v Speaker 1>big rush of blur through the day.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, it's a it's a real question because a lot

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<v Speaker 5>of people say when you plan a wedding, it's more

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<v Speaker 5>so for the people going to the wedding, because you know,

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<v Speaker 5>you're trying to make sure the music for them is good,

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<v Speaker 5>the food for them is good. Yeah, obviously to celebrate you.

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<v Speaker 5>Let's talk to Dan. He went through the same situation.

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<v Speaker 5>Dan's on the phone. Yeah, you can call it too,

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<v Speaker 5>six five, one, nine, eight nine KDWB.

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<v Speaker 4>Hi Dan, Hey guys going good if you missed it.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a woman who wrote in she got married during COVID.

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<v Speaker 1>They had planned a big thirty thousand dollars wedding. They

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<v Speaker 1>didn't spend it because of COVID. Now they promised themselves

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<v Speaker 1>five years later when COVID was done, and now it's

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<v Speaker 1>completely safe to be out. But now she's like, I

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<v Speaker 1>got the money, I don't know if I want to

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<v Speaker 1>have a wedding or spend it on something else.

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<v Speaker 4>What do you think?

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, so me and my wife we got we got

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<v Speaker 6>fifteen thousand dollars and we could have had.

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<v Speaker 4>A wedding or done whatever with it. We had a wedding.

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<v Speaker 4>It was great and awesome.

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<v Speaker 1>But the first and we always talk about we should

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<v Speaker 1>have just taken a fifteen grand and taken a two

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<v Speaker 1>to three week honeymoon, go to Ireland, go to the Bahamas,

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<v Speaker 1>something so trip came to mind right.

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<v Speaker 2>Off the bat.

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<v Speaker 1>No problem, yeah, okay, and and no regrets, no regrets.

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<v Speaker 3>Dan, I think he is.

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<v Speaker 6>Our wedding was great.

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<v Speaker 4>But see what I see.

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<v Speaker 1>You spent the money on the wedding. I misunderstood that.

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<v Speaker 1>So you spent the money on the wedding when you

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<v Speaker 1>should have said let's go to Ireland instead.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, because now we have kids and we don't have money.

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<v Speaker 4>So Dan, thanks for your advice. I appreciate that.

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<v Speaker 1>Who else we got on the phone and Marie, what

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<v Speaker 1>do you think would did this woman get married or

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<v Speaker 1>should she just spend it on a trip or something?

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<v Speaker 7>I think, yeah, I think she should do what her inclients,

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<v Speaker 7>but which seems like going on a trip. We actually

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<v Speaker 7>were scheduled to get married in twenty twenty and had

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<v Speaker 7>to postpone everything. We still wanted to get married, so

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<v Speaker 7>we just showed up to a park with just like

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<v Speaker 7>our parents and siblings and got married and it was

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<v Speaker 7>an amazing day and it went perfect and it was.

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<v Speaker 6>So much fun.

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<v Speaker 7>And then we weren't able to get out of our

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<v Speaker 7>contract and we weren't going to get any of our

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<v Speaker 7>money back, so we ended up still having our big wedding,

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<v Speaker 7>and it was fun and I don't regret it, but

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<v Speaker 7>it did make me realize I wish we would have

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<v Speaker 7>done the first thing and maybe had a smaller party

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<v Speaker 7>with more of our friends, but not necessarily the big,

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<v Speaker 7>giant wedding we.

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<v Speaker 4>Ended up having. How many people were at your big

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<v Speaker 4>giant wedding.

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<v Speaker 7>There was a two hundred invited, and I think with

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<v Speaker 7>COVID and rescheduling and everything, we had about one hundred

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<v Speaker 7>and fifty show up.

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<v Speaker 4>Still, that's a big wedding.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you. By the way, one more call. We're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>move on. We're gonna give away boo bash. Take us

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<v Speaker 1>to get to Jenny's been on Reddit.

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<v Speaker 5>And so I'm bring to carpet a keyword in the

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<v Speaker 5>second and yes, Cole Morning Morning.

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<v Speaker 6>So we got married during COVID and then later on

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<v Speaker 6>in twenty twenty we had a big like redo ceremony

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<v Speaker 6>and then a big reception and it was a blast.

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<v Speaker 6>It was so much fun. I was already married. I

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<v Speaker 6>had like a different dress, I looked cute. All our

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<v Speaker 6>friends and family were there. It was amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>But my question for you is you got married like

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<v Speaker 2>pretty shortly, had the big wedding after you had just

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<v Speaker 2>gotten married. It's five years later. Would you want to

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<v Speaker 2>still do that five years later? Had you not done

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<v Speaker 2>that back.

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<v Speaker 6>In twenty twenty, I probably wouldn't though, Yeah, I would

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<v Speaker 6>do something else. Yeah, celebrate your family.

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<v Speaker 3>Are you still with that person you married?

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<v Speaker 4>Jenny?

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<v Speaker 6>J J Okay, good, and I would probably do another

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<v Speaker 6>reception wedding type thing because it was really actually fun. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 6>but it does cost a lot of money, so to

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<v Speaker 6>do something that fits your life now, I.

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<v Speaker 4>Think, yeah, yeah, I think you know.

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<v Speaker 1>The question is she's got all this money for a

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<v Speaker 1>wedding that they postponed because of COVID. Should she use

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<v Speaker 1>the money for the ceremony or should she spend it

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<v Speaker 1>on something else because she's not that excited about a

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<v Speaker 1>wedding now. Message this one's harsh. Forget the wedding, nobody

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<v Speaker 1>cares anymore. Have a little party and then take a

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<v Speaker 1>trip or do something as a family. Another one, do

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<v Speaker 1>a family trip instead. Weddings are overrated. I got married

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<v Speaker 1>way before COVID. I did a JP wedding. What's that

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<v Speaker 1>JP wedding and a kick ass honeymoon. I'm not sure

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<v Speaker 1>what that means. All right, thanks for all that