WEBVTT - Don't Call The Cops 

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<v Speaker 1>All right, it is Mojo in the morning show. Mojo

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<v Speaker 1>and Shannon keV Anda Lovely Lady. We've got Bianca zach

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<v Speaker 1>All here. We've got Charlie.

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<v Speaker 2>Mayoo Mayo and Grand Rapids running our show on S

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<v Speaker 2>and X, and Big d Daniel hanging out in Toledo

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<v Speaker 2>a kiss.

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<v Speaker 1>It's good to have you guys here with us today.

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<v Speaker 1>Yesterday I was on the phone talking to my neighbor

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<v Speaker 1>Paul Klem. He's my my buddy. Who if you've never

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<v Speaker 1>met this guy before, you will laugh your butt off

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<v Speaker 1>if you do. Like he's very funny. He's one of

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<v Speaker 1>those guys. He's one of those guys where you meet

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<v Speaker 1>him for about five seconds and you feel like you've

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<v Speaker 1>known him for the rest of your life. He was

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<v Speaker 1>telling me a story about how he went to the

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<v Speaker 1>Auburn Hills Costco and he said that he had to

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<v Speaker 1>go to the bathroom, and he said he actually went

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<v Speaker 1>on his tangent, which is interesting, and the tangent was

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<v Speaker 1>before he told me the story was there are certain

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<v Speaker 1>places that have such good bathrooms that if you have

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<v Speaker 1>to go, you might as well. And he said that

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<v Speaker 1>costcos are that. Really, he said, Costco bathrooms I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know what they do, but they're always clean. And it's

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<v Speaker 1>funny because can I tell you something. I have gone

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<v Speaker 1>numerous times and thought to myself, when I walked in,

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<v Speaker 1>this looks like it's freshly clean. I have no idea

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<v Speaker 1>why that is. They have good bathroom policies. So he

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<v Speaker 1>went to the bathroom at the Costco. He got done

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<v Speaker 1>doing his duties and he walked out, and as he's

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<v Speaker 1>walking out to go wash his hands, he looks over

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<v Speaker 1>to the left and he sees a woman washing her

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<v Speaker 1>hands and he goes, excuse me, mess, I think you're

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<v Speaker 1>in the wrong bathroom, and she looks at him and goes, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not. She worked there. She actually had a name

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<v Speaker 1>tag on. She goes, there's no urinals in hair. He

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<v Speaker 1>had just got done duty in the women's restroom, and

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<v Speaker 1>so then he starts getting that panic sweat, you know

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<v Speaker 1>where all all of a sudden, you start panicking, going,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to be a sex offender. This there's you know,

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<v Speaker 1>there's gotta be cameras all over the place. She I

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<v Speaker 1>guess this employee was like laughing it off a little bit,

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<v Speaker 1>and she just cool with it. But he said, is

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<v Speaker 1>he's walking out, He's passing like three women, excuse me, Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>how are you excuse me?

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<v Speaker 3>Or it's like the most embarrassing thing.

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<v Speaker 1>And then the whole rest of the time that he

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<v Speaker 1>was there was thinking they're gonna come cuff me, like

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<v Speaker 1>they're gonna get crazy. Have you ever done that before?

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<v Speaker 1>Have you ever gone into the wrong bathroom not realizing

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<v Speaker 1>you're in there?

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<v Speaker 4>I think sometimes I don't know if they all have

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<v Speaker 4>like the stick figures, because I think my brain automatically

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<v Speaker 4>looks for the wider stick figure with like the triangle skirt,

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<v Speaker 4>you know what I mean in terms of like men

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<v Speaker 4>and women, And I don't know if all bathrooms have that.

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<v Speaker 4>Some are harder to see, especially at night, if you

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<v Speaker 4>had a club or something like that, you bust open

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<v Speaker 4>the door and all of a sudden, all you see

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<v Speaker 4>is skirts.

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<v Speaker 5>Or some of them try to be cutesy with the

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<v Speaker 5>labels on the bathrooms, and I'm like, just say, boys

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<v Speaker 5>are matter of women because I don't even know. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 5>I'm like.

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<v Speaker 3>Cavaleros. I don't know what language.

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<v Speaker 5>I just tell them put a picture.

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<v Speaker 3>Rights And I have almost walked into the wrong ones.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's at the airport because at the airport they

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<v Speaker 1>have them up high and they have and yeah, you

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<v Speaker 1>just walk right into the thing and you're kind of

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<v Speaker 1>walking your turn in and you're like, Okay, this one doesn't like.

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<v Speaker 5>I've done that where I've walked in and immediately been like, yeah, there's.

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<v Speaker 3>A couple of hairy people in here.

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<v Speaker 5>Here Still, I don't know why we've been here for

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<v Speaker 5>a year and a half. Confuse me, because it's the

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<v Speaker 5>way that it is. It's the men's bathroom first and

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<v Speaker 5>then the women's, and I don't know why. It doesn't

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<v Speaker 5>make sense to me. It should be the women's first

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<v Speaker 5>and then the men's and.

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<v Speaker 3>So no, I just I feel like it's just I

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<v Speaker 3>don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>If you were in it and you heard a helly

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<v Speaker 1>are you doing Joe, you know, one of those side

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<v Speaker 1>of things, and you realized, oh crap, I'm in there,

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<v Speaker 1>would you stay in the stall until.

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<v Speaker 3>You knew that the coast was clear?

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<v Speaker 1>Or would you cure in a public restroom, like if

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<v Speaker 1>you were at the Costco.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and I would shoes exactly. Yeah. Why seems I'd

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<v Speaker 3>be scared or embarrassed. Yeah, get out there, Hey, Marcella,

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<v Speaker 3>it's up.

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<v Speaker 6>Hey, I did that three years ago, when I was pregnant,

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<v Speaker 6>I was out at Lakeside Mall.

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<v Speaker 7>And I walked around a whole mall knowing I.

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<v Speaker 3>Had to use it.

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<v Speaker 8>So when I got back by the carousel.

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<v Speaker 9>Where the bathrooms where, I ran straight forward the men's bathroom,

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<v Speaker 9>and when.

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<v Speaker 7>I went in there, I was like, why was think

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<v Speaker 7>in here?

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<v Speaker 8>It smelled like a bunch of PEAPs.

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<v Speaker 6>When I came out to wash my hands, I was like,

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<v Speaker 6>why was there urinals than a women's bathroom? So when

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<v Speaker 6>I came out of the bathroom, the man was standing

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<v Speaker 6>there and my husband was like, I was trying to

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<v Speaker 6>tell you that you.

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<v Speaker 3>Win it for the men. Oh my god, the signs

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<v Speaker 3>were there.

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<v Speaker 7>Why didn't you come in here and give me.

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<v Speaker 1>Mall bathrooms are confusing? Can you walk down long corridors

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<v Speaker 1>to get there?

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<v Speaker 2>You know?

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<v Speaker 1>They kind of have him like tucked away in the back, Helena,

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<v Speaker 1>what's up?

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<v Speaker 3>Helena?

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<v Speaker 7>Hi.

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<v Speaker 6>So when I was in Utah one time, I was

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<v Speaker 6>very intoxicated and I accidentally walked into the men's restroom

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<v Speaker 6>at a concert, and Utah is very dry, so I

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<v Speaker 6>was the only one that was intoxicated in that room,

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<v Speaker 6>and I just kind of stood there with a blank

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<v Speaker 6>stare on my face, very confused.

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<v Speaker 1>So the guys weren't like welcoming, like hey, because I

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<v Speaker 1>would think walk I think women in a men's restroom

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<v Speaker 1>way more welcoming than a woman seeing a dude walking

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<v Speaker 1>out of a stall.

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<v Speaker 2>You know.

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<v Speaker 8>Nope, not there.

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<v Speaker 6>They just kind of looked at me like, what are

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<v Speaker 6>you doing?

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<v Speaker 3>Utah?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what's going on in Sandra high?

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<v Speaker 4>Hi?

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<v Speaker 7>I have a funny wrong bathroom story. Yeah, So my

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<v Speaker 7>son was in the bathroom at a restaurant when he

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<v Speaker 7>was about four years old, and he's always had really

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<v Speaker 7>long hair. Well, he goes by himself because he refuses

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<v Speaker 7>to go in a girl's bathroom with me. He I

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<v Speaker 7>hear somebody's stream there's a little girl in here, and

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<v Speaker 7>then I hear my son. I am not Oh Jesus po, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 7>he was gonna see.

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<v Speaker 1>Can I tell Can I tell you something? On a

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<v Speaker 1>totally different level, I'm as steer this one. I was

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<v Speaker 1>out of a I was out at a public place and

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<v Speaker 1>I won't say where it is because of uh a friend.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a friend's place, and a guy or a

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<v Speaker 1>kid walked up and asked, is me and another guy

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<v Speaker 1>going to the bathroom, asked if we would take him

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<v Speaker 1>to the bathroom.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, no, I taking you know what I mean

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<v Speaker 3>the kid wanted.

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<v Speaker 1>The kid was looking like because I guess you know, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>my dad's still sitting at the table. Would you take him?

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, no, We're not taking you to the bathroom.

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<v Speaker 1>What's going on in Lisha?

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<v Speaker 3>It's interesting?

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<v Speaker 6>Hi?

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<v Speaker 9>Yeah, So I work at one Champus Marshes and last

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<v Speaker 9>year I moved to the other side of this floor.

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<v Speaker 9>And the way that they have it set up, the

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<v Speaker 9>men and women's bathroom are opposite. So like I just.

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<v Speaker 7>Out of habit.

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<v Speaker 9>I almost walked into the men's bathrooms almost everything every time.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, all those floors looked similar.

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<v Speaker 1>To I never knew that there was a setup that

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<v Speaker 1>the bathrooms are all meant to be women's first, men's second.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't I don't know if that's even the case.

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<v Speaker 3>It just it just seems like it's sticks. Yeah. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>what's up, Diana? How are you?

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<v Speaker 7>I'm sorry? Hi. So our company had just moved out

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<v Speaker 7>to Auburn Hills from Troy and it's a big, huge

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<v Speaker 7>company and I was up on the second floor and

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<v Speaker 7>where we said, there are like individual bathrooms, so they

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<v Speaker 7>had unisex on them, so the guys go on the

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<v Speaker 7>girls bathroom and whatever. So then I went down to

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<v Speaker 7>another part of our building and I had to go

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<v Speaker 7>to the bathroom, and I'm like, okay, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 7>try these bathrooms over here. And I didn't really look

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<v Speaker 7>at the sign. I just kind of walked in, and

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<v Speaker 7>I walked in, I saw the urinals, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 7>maybe they just didn't mark the bathrooms yet. So I

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<v Speaker 7>went in and I just went to the bathroom. I

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<v Speaker 7>only went number one. And as I'm walking out, our

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<v Speaker 7>CFO is standing there at the yurnal going to the bathroom.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh god, awkward.

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<v Speaker 7>And I went, oh my god. I covered my eyes

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<v Speaker 7>and I ran out and I ran into the other one,

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<v Speaker 7>the next one, and I'm like, okay, well, this is

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<v Speaker 7>the women's bathroom. So then I came back out and

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<v Speaker 7>I noticed that he had already left the men's bathroom,

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<v Speaker 7>so I had to go in there and get my

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<v Speaker 7>stuff that I left on the counter. And as I'm

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<v Speaker 7>walking out, he is in the middle of the room

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<v Speaker 7>laughing at me, going okay, Diane, look at this, and

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<v Speaker 7>he holds his arms down on his side and his

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<v Speaker 7>hands out like a skirt. He goes, well, this is

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<v Speaker 7>the women's you that god, and he to the entire person.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's more awkward for the guys. For some reason.

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<v Speaker 1>It's more awkward always for the men when they have

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<v Speaker 1>a woman that will be in there than it is

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<v Speaker 1>for the guys.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm glad she went number one and number two and

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<v Speaker 4>she says she ran out and put her hands on

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<v Speaker 4>her face, did not didn't wash.

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<v Speaker 1>Your you caught that. I caught that too. Diane washed

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<v Speaker 1>her hands. What's up, Rob? What's going on?

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<v Speaker 2>Hey?

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<v Speaker 8>Good morning?

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<v Speaker 3>How are you okay?

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<v Speaker 8>Rob? I just got a phone call from my wife.

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<v Speaker 8>I'm driving into work. She told me that we had

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<v Speaker 8>to call in about my story camping up in the

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<v Speaker 8>up basically an early riser. We were camping at a

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<v Speaker 8>state park up there, and it was get up early

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<v Speaker 8>and I'm grabbing my coffee and walking and I'm sorry,

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<v Speaker 8>a little nervous. I'm walking with my coffee, and the

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<v Speaker 8>coffee is like a regular thing for me. Yeah, it

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<v Speaker 8>gets the uh, gets everything moving, gets it going walking around.

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<v Speaker 8>I'm walking around the campground and I get kind of

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<v Speaker 8>far away and I'm like, oh, I got to go

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<v Speaker 8>so I start, I turn around and I start heading

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<v Speaker 8>back to the camper, and I'm like, I'm not going

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<v Speaker 8>to make it. So I was like looking, looking, and

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<v Speaker 8>I'm like, oh, there's a public bathroom. So I like

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<v Speaker 8>double time in it. And it's like your body knows

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<v Speaker 8>you're getting close. Yeah, you know, hustling in there. I'm

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<v Speaker 8>spilling my coffee that I'm drinking on the way in,

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<v Speaker 8>and I'm like, oh my gosh, I gotta make it.

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<v Speaker 8>I gotta make it, and I just bust in. I

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<v Speaker 8>hit the stall, I'm spilling my coffee. I pull, you know,

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<v Speaker 8>I undressed. I start going to the bathroom and I

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<v Speaker 8>was like, oh, I didn't make it out. Wow. I'm

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<v Speaker 8>sitting there and I was like, all right, I got

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<v Speaker 8>to clean up, and I got to get this met.

0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:12.920
<v Speaker 8>You know, I got to uh get my underwear off

0:11:13.160 --> 0:11:16.640
<v Speaker 8>and get rid of it before anybody walks in. So

0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:19.560
<v Speaker 8>I'm thinking about it and I'm getting my strategy together,

0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:22.440
<v Speaker 8>and you know, I clean up and I'm like, I

0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:24.320
<v Speaker 8>wad up my underwear and I was like, all right,

0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:26.200
<v Speaker 8>I'm just going to make a run for the garbage

0:11:26.240 --> 0:11:27.000
<v Speaker 8>can and get.

0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:27.360
<v Speaker 3>Rid of it.

0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:31.120
<v Speaker 8>So I I didn't hear anybody come in. So I

0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:35.880
<v Speaker 8>bust in or I bust out of the doll and

0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:39.720
<v Speaker 8>I run in and I throw my underwear out, and

0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:41.840
<v Speaker 8>I was like, oh right, I made it. So I

0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:43.880
<v Speaker 8>go over to the sink and I'm washing my hand

0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:46.800
<v Speaker 8>and all of a sudden, the door opens up and

0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:52.360
<v Speaker 8>I look over and this lady's walking in. Sorry about that,

0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:55.600
<v Speaker 8>And I was like, all right, no problem. And I'm

0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:57.400
<v Speaker 8>sitting there and I'm finishing up, and all of a

0:11:57.400 --> 0:11:59.520
<v Speaker 8>sudden she opens the door again and she's like looking

0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:02.280
<v Speaker 8>at me, and it all comes together. I go, am

0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:06.800
<v Speaker 8>I in the wrong yep, And I go, oh my gosh,

0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:07.800
<v Speaker 8>I'm so sorry.

0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:08.600
<v Speaker 3>Rob.

0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:13.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, your wife called you and made you the show

0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:15.200
<v Speaker 1>to tell you that story, to embarrass you.

0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:17.960
<v Speaker 3>How do you it?

0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:22.240
<v Speaker 8>I tell that story all the time.

0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:28.760
<v Speaker 3>The best part.

0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:36.160
<v Speaker 8>Yeah. We were camping with a couple and I didn't

0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:39.680
<v Speaker 8>really you know, this isn't something you brag about. So

0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:43.800
<v Speaker 8>friends of ours. Uh, she went to the bathroom and

0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:47.520
<v Speaker 8>we're sitting around the campfire later and uh, I bring

0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:50.880
<v Speaker 8>this up and she goes, oh my gosh, that was you.

0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:53.400
<v Speaker 8>She goes, I use that same stall and there was

0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:54.480
<v Speaker 8>coffee all over

0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:57.160
<v Speaker 9>And I'm like