1
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Speaker 1: No still no thor no, nope, that was wrong or

2
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Speaker 1: is not here? No, he's still down for the count.

3
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Speaker 1: I guess I don't know what is going on because

4
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Speaker 1: he said Friday night is when he started feeling sick.

5
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Speaker 1: So hit him like a truck, like a train. I

6
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Speaker 1: was told it was Wait, which is truck?

7
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Speaker 2: You're getting train?

8
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Speaker 3: Train is way worse than the truck I got.

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Speaker 4: You're right, it was probably train, and I assumed it

10
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Speaker 4: was truck. But he got hit by something.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so I don't know what.

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Speaker 2: A ton of bricks?

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Speaker 3: Ok, neither neither neither.

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Speaker 4: Yeah hit me Friday night like a ton of bricks. Wow, Okay,

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Speaker 4: got it?

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Speaker 2: I got either.

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Speaker 3: Oh you didn't you didn't get hit by anything?

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Speaker 5: No, no, just sick, yeah, just he said. I said, hey,

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Speaker 5: how are you feeling? He says not great? Been six

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Speaker 5: since Friday night? No bricks, No, no dramatic.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that's crazy. Stunned by that.

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Speaker 2: He's all over the.

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Speaker 1: So we'll see what's going on with that guy. But

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Speaker 1: I mean, you know, we're going into what day five

25
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Speaker 1: now or something fday night. Yeah, so we'll say what's

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Speaker 1: up with that guy? But you know, I mean, i'd

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Speaker 1: rather him stay home if he's you know, got the

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Speaker 1: flu and it's that bad. I don't want that stuff.

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Speaker 1: So no, thank you. So we'll see if he returns

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Speaker 1: tomorrow or not. But we have big news. When last

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Speaker 1: we heard the update from Sky about her possible taking

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Speaker 1: this solo Oregon trip. Yes, wasn't looking so good.

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Speaker 2: No, not at all.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Yeah, your husband the Boo wasn't a big fan,

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Speaker 1: which kind of threw you for a tizzy. You were

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Speaker 1: not in that frame of mind. You were kind of

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Speaker 1: thinking he was supporting you this solo trip.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, based on a previous discussion. When I first brought

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Speaker 4: it up, I had to I was clearly on the

40
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Speaker 4: wrong page because I thought he was excited for me

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Speaker 4: and the thought of it, and you know, oh the

42
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Speaker 4: will be good for you, you know, good for you.

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Speaker 4: You don't do things for yourself. So that was the

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Speaker 4: message I thought I was getting from him.

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Speaker 3: And then you brought it up again and not opposite message.

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Speaker 4: Opposite message happened because I know the first time he

47
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Speaker 4: was reminiscing about how much how amazing it was to

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Speaker 4: be there solo.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, so that would lead me to believe that,

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Speaker 2: you know, he was happy for you. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I think what had happened was is I mentioned the

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Speaker 4: idea of the solo vacation. He started talking about how

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Speaker 4: peaceful and great it is, and I thought he was

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Speaker 4: talking about how peaceful and great it would be for me.

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Speaker 4: But now I'm left with the impression that he was

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Speaker 4: just reminiscing on his own memories about how peaceful and

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Speaker 4: great it was when he was there by himself.

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Speaker 3: Why would he not want that for you? Well, because

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Speaker 3: that doesn't make any sense.

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Speaker 2: Ah ah, you know, doesn't how to put this. I

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Speaker 2: think he does want that for me.

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Speaker 1: In theory, ah know, right, everything's going to be on

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Speaker 1: his plate here, right.

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Speaker 4: If there's a questionnaire that says, would you like your

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Speaker 4: wife to have a joyful, peaceful escape for a couple

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Speaker 4: of days, he would say yes. But then if the

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Speaker 4: next line was a question would you like to be

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Speaker 4: the one facilitating taking your daughter to take her DMV

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Speaker 4: permit test, that answer would be a fat no.

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Speaker 2: Oh so yeah, So.

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Speaker 4: I think that's what happened that first off, I misinterpreted

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Speaker 4: what he was saying. And then number two, when the

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Speaker 4: logistics started getting laid out of like, oh, actually this

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Speaker 4: is going on this day and that's there, and blah

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Speaker 4: blah blah blah blah, and he started playing out the

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Speaker 4: reality in his mind. I think that's when he was

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Speaker 4: no longer excited for the idea, which set me into

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Speaker 4: a whole tizzy spiral for a bunch of different reasons.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So, well after we got that update, I mean I

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Speaker 1: would have put money on Sky's not going. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: about that's gonna end, end that thought process right there. Yeah,

83
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Speaker 1: is it. Sky doesn't want to cause waves. She's not gonna,

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Speaker 1: you know, make it crazy for anybody else. And so

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Speaker 1: her enjoyment and relaxation, all that thought that's gone.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna put that on the back burner.

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Speaker 5: Because deep down Sky wants to be the one to

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Speaker 5: do all that stuff anyway.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't like to get off.

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Speaker 5: So it took a lot for her in the beginning

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Speaker 5: to even say that she would be willing to give

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Speaker 5: that up and have him.

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Speaker 2: Take the daughter to do that stuff. Yeah, she needed

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Speaker 2: the support for the push.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like cause clearly I'm, you know, an individual who's

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Speaker 4: riddled with guilt for some reason. I'm a people pleaser

97
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Speaker 4: as well. I'm sure the two go hand in hand.

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Speaker 4: And so yeah, so I don't want anything I do

99
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Speaker 4: to ever cause problems, and not even problems, just like

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Speaker 4: an extra step for anybody else. So if I'm gonna

101
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Speaker 4: to treat myself like this, you're right, Emily, I want

102
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Speaker 4: full support. Otherwise that guilt is just gonna start creeping

103
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Speaker 4: in there.

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Speaker 1: Well, you have full support from your girls. Sitting right

105
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Speaker 1: here is wildly affected by this whole situation.

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Speaker 2: I still am wildly effective.

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Speaker 5: I feel like I might have been a smidge too

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Speaker 5: hard on the boo last time around. So if the boo,

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Speaker 5: if you're listening, I am sorry, sorry, not sorry.

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Speaker 4: Like stick by what you say, but maybe could have

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Speaker 4: said it a little less intense maybe sure, Okay, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 4: you're very red.

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Speaker 2: Red.

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Speaker 3: I was hot.

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Speaker 5: I feel like I'm getting there right now. I feel

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Speaker 5: like I'm getting the right now. I just I just

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Speaker 5: think that it's silly. It's because you should do this

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Speaker 5: for yourself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's all, Well, thank you.

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Speaker 3: Well what's the latest? What's the update now?

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Speaker 4: Well, so round and round, back and forth talking to

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Speaker 4: the daughter about her permit test, and of course she

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Speaker 4: was bummed too, because turns out something I forgot is

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Speaker 4: when we had put this on the calendar months ago.

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Speaker 4: I had like made a big deal about it about

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Speaker 4: we're gonna make this a whole day, and I'm yeah,

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Speaker 4: and I'm gonna take you to lunch, like you're gonna

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Speaker 4: get out.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, just because at the time it sounded fun.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, you'll get out of school an hour early,

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Speaker 4: we'll go have lunch together so you have a full

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Speaker 4: belly before your you know, test, like and and turns

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Speaker 4: out I forgot that I made all those promises and so.

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Speaker 3: Uh having lunch. I don't know what to say.

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Speaker 2: You guys, You guys do a full day all the time.

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Speaker 5: Like, like I haven't had like a full like one

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Speaker 5: on one day with my son in a while, just

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Speaker 5: because he doesn't really want to hang out with me.

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Speaker 2: But like, you do it all the time, right right.

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Speaker 5: I'm not like an agantry parent any where you're never home, yeah.

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Speaker 4: Where I show up once a month. No, no, yeah,

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Speaker 4: we're always hanging out together. But I had I had

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Speaker 4: made this big thing, and uh so I was kind

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Speaker 4: of you can at the calendar try to figure it out.

145
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Speaker 4: And I decided that it is possible for me to

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Speaker 4: go and shorten my trip so I can be back

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Speaker 4: for said permittest I know everybody in the room.

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Speaker 2: The headshists, the.

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Speaker 3: Head just it's just so crazy.

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Speaker 2: So I came out so I could be back.

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Speaker 3: You're still going to do the organ trip?

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Speaker 2: Yes, so is the permit? What day of the week is

153
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Speaker 2: the permit? Wednesday?

154
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Speaker 4: It's a Wednesday, okay, so I have to fly in

155
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Speaker 4: Tuesday night.

156
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Speaker 2: So when are you leaving to go Sunday?

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Speaker 3: That's ridiculous.

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Speaker 4: So because when I looked at it and I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 4: I will have my alone time where I'm not driving.

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Speaker 4: I'm not flying now, please believe, I'm also looking forward

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Speaker 4: to the driving and flying alone because.

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Speaker 2: That's always a process.

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Speaker 4: Like I've I've never really traveled by myself except for

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Speaker 4: when I travel with you guys, and it feels free.

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Speaker 4: So even though that's not really the goal, I am

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Speaker 4: looking forward to the travel by myself like Blair in

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Speaker 4: my own music, stopping wherever I want for food, all

168
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Speaker 4: of that. So if you take the travel portion out

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Speaker 4: of it, I will be in the home, relaxing, having

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Speaker 4: my weirdos and yoga private time for a full day

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Speaker 4: and a half.

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Speaker 1: Sky to me, it's just listen, We're all different. That

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Speaker 1: is so not worth it to me. Like, cause you

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Speaker 1: can say what you want about travel, it's still a

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Speaker 1: hassle and it's not fun. I mean you're making like

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Speaker 1: the airport like it that's a good time. It's not

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Speaker 1: a good time. And so I don't know, I just

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Speaker 1: that's miserable to me, going up flying up there for

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Speaker 1: a day.

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Speaker 3: It's pointless to me.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, for me, because I started thinking of my alternatives.

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Speaker 2: What could I do?

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Speaker 1: You know, because day, as long as you want, that's

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Speaker 1: the alternative. It's the only one that makes sense.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Unfortunately, in my head, that's not an alternative. What

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Speaker 4: I meant as alternatives was like hotel stays, like going

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Speaker 4: up to my mom's in the Laguna area, Like I

188
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Speaker 4: was just trying and everything was so expensive and honestly

189
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Speaker 4: not as exciting to me as this adventure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it should be, but an actual time, right right,

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Speaker 1: you know, like I just don't you're you're you. I

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Speaker 1: can't explain it to you because you are the person,

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Speaker 1: you're the well, but you're the one that's riddled with

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Speaker 1: the guilt and all that stuff, right, Like you're going

195
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Speaker 1: to disappoint your kid at some point, I mean and

196
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Speaker 1: it's okay. They got to deal with they got to

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Speaker 1: understand to deal with disappointment. And this is such a

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Speaker 1: low level disappointment that I'm just like, I can't believe

199
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,680
Speaker 1: you're going to give up time for yourself that is

200
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,880
Speaker 1: kind of needed to do this to and to do what.

201
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,200
Speaker 1: It's not like you're missing a school play. It's not

202
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:08,280
Speaker 1: like you're missing a big event. You're not missing anything anything.

203
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:17,640
Speaker 4: I'm missing the promise and then to be there for,

204
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,439
Speaker 4: you know, emotional support for.

205
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,120
Speaker 3: I want to start. I'm getting very upset.

206
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,079
Speaker 5: I love that you're getting like that because I feel

207
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:30,160
Speaker 5: this want. I get exactly what I want to do.

208
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,600
Speaker 5: That's a great way to put it. I get wanting

209
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:36,720
Speaker 5: to be there and not disappoint. I totally get anyone.

210
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,040
Speaker 5: But at the same time, like it is good for

211
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Speaker 5: them to be disappointed, because it's right, that's life.

212
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:42,920
Speaker 3: How did you get a deal with this?

213
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Speaker 2: Life is full of letting you out.

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Speaker 4: And if there was one person in my house that

215
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:51,200
Speaker 4: wasn't going to be disappointed, then like that probably would

216
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,520
Speaker 4: have given me the strength to stay longer. But since

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00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:56,560
Speaker 4: we're a house of three and two people are disappointed

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00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:00,640
Speaker 4: at this decision. Yeah, it's it's a bummer, but I've

219
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:05,080
Speaker 4: kind of talked myself into it anyway of like I'm excited.

220
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:09,280
Speaker 4: It's not the initial plan, it's clearly not the dream,

221
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Speaker 4: but I've talked myself into it to the point where

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Speaker 4: I'm excited now even though I'm only going to get

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Speaker 4: a full day and a half. But the more I

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Speaker 4: think about it, like, you know, the way Emily was

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Speaker 4: talking about it last week and the demands about how

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Speaker 4: you always feel somebody wants something from you, somebody's always

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Speaker 4: looking for you. So even just to have a full

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Speaker 4: day and a half of like just staring at the wall,

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Speaker 4: I feel it's going to be great. Like there, I

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Speaker 4: feel like even within that day and a half, there's

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Speaker 4: gonna be a point where I'm gonna be like, I'm bored,

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Speaker 4: Like what do I do?

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because you're in Oregon doing nothing. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I understand that we none of us understand the actual trip,

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Speaker 1: but that's fine, what you want.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And so so I was feeling a little saucy

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Speaker 4: about it because I'm like.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what that means. Well, what do you

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Speaker 3: mean saucy?

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Speaker 4: Like sassy, slash, a little borderline defiant, because I'm not

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Speaker 4: getting exactly what I want. So I booked the trip yesterday.

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Speaker 4: Why not leave Saturday, by the way, because she actually

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Speaker 4: has a play. It's like the closing night of.

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Speaker 3: Her play, so that's acceptable.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so yeah, Okaya's out. So we have a bunch

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Speaker 4: of airline miles because of going back and forth to Oregon.

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Speaker 4: And so I was I was feeling a little naughty

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Speaker 4: when I was booking the flight and I was using

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Speaker 4: points and I'm not paying for anything because everything's with points.

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Speaker 4: So I said, first class for one please, complementary cocktail

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Speaker 4: and a meal.

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Speaker 2: Bags are free. I mean, who am I?

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Speaker 1: What? What? I don't know that that makes you the

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Speaker 1: queen of the world.

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Speaker 4: So I feel like that was my little like you know, like, yes,

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Speaker 4: I did use all our airport, well not all of.

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Speaker 2: God could they could have any But it's on the books.

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Speaker 2: It's happening.

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Speaker 4: It's not what I initially planned, but it's something.

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Speaker 2: So I'm taking it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm happy yet sad for you.

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Speaker 2: Thanks.

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Speaker 3: It's exactly, very very strange

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Speaker 4: To get it