WEBVTT - Have We Gone Soft 

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<v Speaker 1>I want your opinion on this, especially if you're somebody

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<v Speaker 1>that has dealt with this in person. So I had

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<v Speaker 1>all the boys home this week and Chelsea and I

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<v Speaker 1>had all the boys home. It was actually really awesome

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<v Speaker 1>to do it, because when the boys are home, Chelsea

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<v Speaker 1>is happy, like she just loves being around her sons.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, nothing can make her happier than if we

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<v Speaker 1>all lived in the same home together. And I could

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<v Speaker 1>put those kids back into the days of when they

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<v Speaker 1>were hectic and crazy and enjoy your hectic moments, young parents,

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<v Speaker 1>because I know that one day they will not be

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<v Speaker 1>there and you will wish that you had to go

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<v Speaker 1>to twelve you know, swimming meets and you know, use

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<v Speaker 1>zap zoning and all the rest of this stuff. So

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<v Speaker 1>we were hanging out talking and my favorite is when

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<v Speaker 1>the older boys, the older two boys, Joey and Jacob,

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<v Speaker 1>will start talking to each other like we're not there,

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<v Speaker 1>Chelsea and I aren't there, and they started randomly going

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<v Speaker 1>into this whole thing about out how mom and dad

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<v Speaker 1>have given up, they no longer are trying anymore. And

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, what the hell are these guys talking about?

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<v Speaker 1>And it came to their beliefs that we don't parent

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<v Speaker 1>Luke at all anymore, and they think that Luke gets

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<v Speaker 1>away with whatever he wants to do, like Luke Like,

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<v Speaker 1>it was to a point where Joe and Jake were like,

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<v Speaker 1>where's Luke right now? Oh, he's at the casino drinking?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, where's Luke right now? Oh he's you know,

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<v Speaker 1>hanging out at his girlfriends. Where's Luke right now? Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, he's probably upstairs in his room. He just

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<v Speaker 1>had a taco bell delivery, literally the door dash guy

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<v Speaker 1>delivered to his room.

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<v Speaker 2>Lucas done some crazy stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, things that Joe and Jacob say that they would

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<v Speaker 1>be punished for, but Luke gets away with. And I

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<v Speaker 1>want to know if this happens in your families, Like

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<v Speaker 1>do you feel like your parents parent differently with each child?

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<v Speaker 1>And I think in this case it probably is where

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<v Speaker 1>Luke is the youngest in the family and because he's

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<v Speaker 1>the youngest and Chelsea and I, Chelsea and I started

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<v Speaker 1>having kids when we were young. Chelsea was twenty just

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<v Speaker 1>turning twenty one years old when Joe was born. She

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<v Speaker 1>turned twenty one on September the seventeenth. Joe was born

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<v Speaker 1>born September the twenty first. Wow, Wow, so isn't that crazy?

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<v Speaker 1>He was, Yeah, Luke's agent, we're having a baby heart.

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<v Speaker 1>Well guess what ended up happening. We had Luke late

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<v Speaker 1>in life, and Luke, we're done. We don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>hear them anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>Got it.

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<v Speaker 1>I let him juggle knives when he was five. But

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<v Speaker 1>the two older boys claim that we have given up.

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<v Speaker 1>Jacqueline's your youngest, right sister.

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<v Speaker 3>So I'm the oldest. Then I have my middle sister, Emily,

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<v Speaker 3>and then Jacqueline's a baby. Jacqueline and I are probably

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<v Speaker 3>the closest just because we're both moms, so we like

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<v Speaker 3>bond over kids all the time.

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<v Speaker 2>Did Jacqueline ever get differently all the time?

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<v Speaker 3>We talked about it this weekend. My mom was so

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<v Speaker 3>strict with me, so strict by the time Jacqueline rolled around.

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<v Speaker 3>My mom was letting her have parties, going to parties,

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<v Speaker 3>to pick her up at three in the morning, like

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<v Speaker 3>there were no rules whatsoever. Yeah, so we were talking

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<v Speaker 3>to Lucy about it actually because we're like Nama used

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<v Speaker 3>to be so strict, and she just can't see it.

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<v Speaker 3>I think my middle sister was the one that, like

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<v Speaker 3>you know, got away with stuff. No, like the tides

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<v Speaker 3>changed with herself. She chipped away, caused a lot of energy.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah yeah, yeah, And.

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<v Speaker 4>My older sister Elson would say the same thing. But

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<v Speaker 4>I also think that I might have been a little

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<v Speaker 4>bit of a better kid because I learned from Allison's mistakes.

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<v Speaker 4>Like I saw what made my parents really mad, and

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<v Speaker 4>I made sure I'm not going to do that, and

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<v Speaker 4>then they chilled on me.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>See, I feel like it was only my sister and I,

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<v Speaker 6>but I feel like they let me do kind of

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<v Speaker 6>whatever I wanted. I feel like my mom just let

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<v Speaker 6>me do whatever and then based on my mistakes or

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<v Speaker 6>like she learned through me.

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<v Speaker 2>So my sister had it harder even ye learned.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, Like my sister couldn't do a lot of his

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<v Speaker 6>stuff that I would do, Like I could go out

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<v Speaker 6>whenever I wanted to. I feel like my sister had

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<v Speaker 6>a curfew, like she had to be in And I

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<v Speaker 6>don't know if it was just hard being a girl.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe that played a little role.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, I think if I had a daughter, I

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<v Speaker 1>would totally parent differently. Like the fact that I three boys,

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<v Speaker 1>they all kind of, you know, got parented differently based

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<v Speaker 1>on probably how easy or how hard they were. Joe

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<v Speaker 1>definitely got the most disciplined. Jacob, I think didn't need

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<v Speaker 1>as much discipline because he never really got in trouble.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I remember going to a parent teacher conference one

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<v Speaker 1>time for Jacob, and the teachers were all like, why

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<v Speaker 1>are you guys here, Like they didn't even know why

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<v Speaker 1>we were there because he did so well. Luke, we

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<v Speaker 1>go yeah whatever, like you know. But I will say

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<v Speaker 1>this about Luke though Luke had to be the tag

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<v Speaker 1>along at all the older brothers events and things, and

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<v Speaker 1>he was such a good sport about it. He never

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<v Speaker 1>complained about it that we of like reward him now,

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<v Speaker 1>like Joe thinks it's amazing that Luke is able to

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<v Speaker 1>go like out of the country for like the spring

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<v Speaker 1>breaks that he does, and that you know, he lives

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<v Speaker 1>in a frat house and.

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<v Speaker 3>He lives in I think even parents like I even

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<v Speaker 3>find myself doing it with a twelve and nine year

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<v Speaker 3>old like Smith is getting away with way Moore I was,

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<v Speaker 3>I still am. I'm so strict with Luis and with him,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, I mean, where are you going to go

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<v Speaker 3>down the street to mobile? Okay, go ahead, I mean

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<v Speaker 3>Lucy couldn't even go to the park till she was

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<v Speaker 3>like eleven years old.

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<v Speaker 5>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>Joe asked me if I do cocaine with Luke and

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<v Speaker 1>I said to him, no, we don't do cocaine.

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<v Speaker 2>We drop acid.

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<v Speaker 5>But nine he said. He said to me, Goes, it

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<v Speaker 5>wouldn't surprise me if you do cocaine with Luke. And

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<v Speaker 5>I said to him, like, what would make you think that? Seriously,

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<v Speaker 5>I don't booger sugar with my son. You let the

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<v Speaker 5>door dash man come. That is why Natalie, what's up?

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<v Speaker 7>Hi? Hi?

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<v Speaker 8>I just want to say my children say this same

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<v Speaker 8>thing about me. I have four older children thirty five,

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<v Speaker 8>thirty two, twenty nine, twenty five, then twelve whole year

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<v Speaker 8>old does not have any doesn't have any chores, and

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<v Speaker 8>they complain.

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<v Speaker 7>About why I'm not streak with her.

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<v Speaker 8>I just like I'm tired now at this point, I'm like, okay, whatever,

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<v Speaker 8>she get good, great, I'm good good.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>That's that's amazing by the way that you have that

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<v Speaker 1>span of kids, Like I thought it was tough to have,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, Joe ten years from from Luke. But the

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<v Speaker 1>idea that you have a thirty something year old and

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<v Speaker 1>a twelve year old.

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<v Speaker 2>She tired. That's amazing.

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<v Speaker 8>Yes, but but I got divorced and I got a

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<v Speaker 8>little wild. I forgot that my toombs wouldn't tie.

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<v Speaker 2>It still work down there. I love I love it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's funny. It's like their child too. They could probably

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<v Speaker 1>help raise that kid.

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<v Speaker 8>They don't want to.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, part of it. Thanks Natalie, appreciate you.

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<v Speaker 2>What's up, Kyle? How you doing?

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<v Speaker 7>How are you guys good?

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<v Speaker 2>What's going on?

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<v Speaker 7>I see like when I was younger, I've brought at

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<v Speaker 7>seven years younger than this, and I when I was

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<v Speaker 7>in high school, I feel like my parents want to

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<v Speaker 7>know I have your place. I was going till then

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<v Speaker 7>when my brothers at the high school like you to say,

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<v Speaker 7>always going going out, and they'd be like, Okay, see

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<v Speaker 7>you later.

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<v Speaker 2>It is true.

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<v Speaker 1>Like when Joe would leave the house with the car,

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<v Speaker 1>we would track him everywhere. I followed him a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of times because they didn't believe where he was going.

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<v Speaker 2>Luke the kid goes to another state? What this is

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<v Speaker 2>no joke? Luke Luke.

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<v Speaker 1>All of a sudden, we're like, where's Luke? Luke's in Indiana?

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<v Speaker 1>What what's going on here?

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<v Speaker 2>It is so funny how we are so different. What's up, Lori?

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<v Speaker 5>Hi?

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, how are you? We're doing good?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you find that you if if either your parents

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<v Speaker 1>gave up or you gave up.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, I totally came up.

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<v Speaker 8>My kids are thirty two.

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<v Speaker 2>And twenty five and fifteen.

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<v Speaker 7>Oh and my oldest, my daughter, you know, the youngest

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<v Speaker 7>is real snarky, you know, and.

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<v Speaker 2>He's not mean, but he talks back. And my daughter,

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<v Speaker 2>the oldest, she's like, beat him.

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<v Speaker 3>If I had said that to you when I was

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<v Speaker 3>a kid, you would have.

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<v Speaker 8>Beat my aunt.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what it is though, And I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>if you feel this way. Don't you feel blessed that

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<v Speaker 1>you had your fifteen year old?

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<v Speaker 7>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah for sure. Yeah, like there's something like you're a

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<v Speaker 2>good kid.

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<v Speaker 1>Chelsea and I talked about this on our podcast that

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<v Speaker 1>we don't podcast, which by the way, we have a

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<v Speaker 1>new one today. I get really emotional talking about my dad.

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<v Speaker 1>It was honestly, I hated that today's podcast. I hated

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<v Speaker 1>it because it made me have these really interesting feelings

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<v Speaker 1>all Father's Day. But we taped it on Father's Day

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<v Speaker 1>and it was really interesting. I talked a lot about

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<v Speaker 1>my dad having me live with my sisters.

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<v Speaker 2>It was really interesting.

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<v Speaker 1>But with that said, Chelse and I talk on our

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<v Speaker 1>podcast about if we didn't have Luke, we probably wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>be together right now, Like we don't think that we

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<v Speaker 1>would be married still, and there wouldn't be this chapter

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<v Speaker 1>of our lives together because we only both stayed married

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<v Speaker 1>for Luke because we didn't want Luke to have to

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<v Speaker 1>deal with divorce when he was a little kid, and

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<v Speaker 1>at our worst times were when he was like young, young,

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<v Speaker 1>and so so with that said, I can see where

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<v Speaker 1>you could relate to this with your thirty year old,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, child and a fifteen year old child.

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<v Speaker 5>You know. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, By the way, I actually wanted to do the

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<v Speaker 1>whole go back to school with Luke And actually, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>did you ever see the movie Back to School with

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<v Speaker 1>Rodney Dangerfield at all?

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, watch that movie. It's hysterical.

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<v Speaker 1>He goes back to school to go hang out, his

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<v Speaker 1>son goes to college, and he goes to college with him.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh lord, you you a pledged state of kai. What

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<v Speaker 2>would happen?

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<v Speaker 1>And if next year I just go back to Michigan

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<v Speaker 1>State and go to school and live with Luke, you

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<v Speaker 1>think he would get crazy? And you would get crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to watch out for you. What's up, Liz,

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<v Speaker 1>how you doing?

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<v Speaker 9>Good morning?

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<v Speaker 2>Good morning? What's going on?

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<v Speaker 5>So?

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<v Speaker 9>I just want to talk about the parenting situation.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh wait, did you text us or what did you do?

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<v Speaker 2>Did you call us?

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<v Speaker 8>I called?

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<v Speaker 9>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah you heard us talking about how you parent

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<v Speaker 1>differently with kids.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 9>So I have a sister that's six years older than me.

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<v Speaker 9>I have a brother that's two years older than me,

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<v Speaker 9>and I believe that me and my siblings all got

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<v Speaker 9>different parents from our mom and dad. We all have

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<v Speaker 9>the same mom and dad, but the experience they had

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<v Speaker 9>in life at the moment that each child was born

0:10:55.480 --> 0:10:57.880
<v Speaker 9>was so different that we all grew up different and

0:10:57.920 --> 0:11:00.480
<v Speaker 9>had completely different relationships.

0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:03.319
<v Speaker 2>With our parents. What version did you get?

0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:05.520
<v Speaker 8>Well?

0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:08.760
<v Speaker 9>I got the best because I'm the baby, the one

0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:11.960
<v Speaker 9>I learned. But I learned a lot from watching my

0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:15.840
<v Speaker 9>sister get in trouble and do the underage drinking and

0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:17.920
<v Speaker 9>all that. So I learned my lesson from her getting

0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:18.400
<v Speaker 9>in trouble.

0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:20.280
<v Speaker 7>I feel that.

0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:22.280
<v Speaker 4>And you know what, my parents didn't.

0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:24.280
<v Speaker 9>Have to be as strict with me because they knew

0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:25.800
<v Speaker 9>I knew better already.

0:11:26.080 --> 0:11:30.400
<v Speaker 1>That's kind of Jacob and Joe's like, Jacob saw Joe

0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:32.560
<v Speaker 1>get into a bunch of trouble and you know, go

0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:35.440
<v Speaker 1>do his goofy stuff that he did, and Jacob kind

0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:36.280
<v Speaker 1>of learned from that.

0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:40.079
<v Speaker 2>Now, Luke, I don't think Luke was really paying attention.

0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:42.880
<v Speaker 2>I really don't think he care because he knows you

0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:43.559
<v Speaker 2>guys don't care.

0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:46.840
<v Speaker 1>You know what the coolest is is seeing their dynamic

0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:51.600
<v Speaker 1>together as uh as siblings and seeing how like Jacob

0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:54.880
<v Speaker 1>is because he is a he's a psychologist and he

0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:59.000
<v Speaker 1>does that for a living. Him giving the older or

0:11:59.040 --> 0:12:02.320
<v Speaker 1>the you know, his older brother advice like from his

0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:07.440
<v Speaker 1>professional standpoint and then giving Luke professional advice was amazing.

0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:11.400
<v Speaker 1>It was like really cool this weekend. It was honestly professionals.

0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:14.760
<v Speaker 1>He would actually, can I tell you something, it's so funny.

0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:18.800
<v Speaker 4>It han't come in for a family therapy session.

0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:19.520
<v Speaker 2>Would be cool.

0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:24.120
<v Speaker 1>We have friends of ours that will occasionally or family

0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:27.040
<v Speaker 1>members that will call Jacob up and go, hey, I

0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:29.040
<v Speaker 1>just want to run something by you, and Jacob gives

0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:30.120
<v Speaker 1>some really good advice.

0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:32.560
<v Speaker 2>You should give them his billing.

0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:34.560
<v Speaker 7>Free.

0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:39.520
<v Speaker 1>You should have heard Luke with Jacob. He found out

0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:41.520
<v Speaker 1>how much money Jacob made and he goes, I ain't

0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:45.000
<v Speaker 1>enough you guys like, oh yeah, Luke. Luke's like Wolf

0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:47.520
<v Speaker 1>of Wall Street, Like he's like, you should have gone

0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:49.720
<v Speaker 1>into Stockbrokene or something like that.

0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:51.199
<v Speaker 4>Very of