Speaker 1: Shannon and can't go on the play date.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know how other parents feel about this
Speaker 2: or deal with this. You guys know, I'm really protective
Speaker 2: of my kids, Lucy and Smith when it comes to sleepovers.
Speaker 3: For one, we don't even do sleepovers.
Speaker 2: Still at this point, sixth grade, second grade, we are
Speaker 2: still saying no to sleepovers. But when it comes to
Speaker 2: play dates and keV, I kind of want your opinion
Speaker 2: on this too, So Smith, excuse me. Smith's second grade.
Speaker 2: He's eight years old, and he got asked to go
Speaker 2: over to a kid in his class's house after school,
Speaker 2: like the mom had reached out to me.
Speaker 4: I do not know.
Speaker 3: I couldn't even picture who this kid is. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I didn't recognize the name, so I didn't know who
Speaker 2: the kid is. I definitely don't know who the family is.
Speaker 2: I couldn't pick the parents out of a crowd. I
Speaker 2: know nothing about them.
Speaker 3: So I very.
Speaker 2: Politely told the mom no, we were not up for
Speaker 2: a play date.
Speaker 3: And I feel like I need at this point.
Speaker 2: And maybe it's because I have scared myself or watched
Speaker 2: too much Dateline, or just being in here and hearing
Speaker 2: news stories like I need to meet.
Speaker 3: These people a few times.
Speaker 2: First, I need to figure out where they live, what
Speaker 2: they're like, Like, I know it sounds nuts, like if
Speaker 2: they have a pool, guns is a house older? Like
Speaker 2: I just feel like that's where I am. But now
Speaker 2: I'm taking a step back and going am I being
Speaker 2: a little too overprotective? Like I don't want it to
Speaker 2: be to the point where I hinder Smith's ability to
Speaker 2: make new friends and friendships and have those experiences because
Speaker 2: I'm so terrified.
Speaker 5: I will tell you as the guy that already raised
Speaker 5: my kids and put them out there in this world.
Speaker 5: Chelsea and I look at the world right now different
Speaker 5: than we looked at it back in the day, and
Speaker 5: it probably was just as scary. But Chelsea always was
Speaker 5: if I don't have a relationship with you, I don't
Speaker 5: want my.
Speaker 3: Kids to be a few hours at your house.
Speaker 1: Over at their Yeah.
Speaker 5: And what we end up doing a lot of times
Speaker 5: was that we went to our kids went to a
Speaker 5: smaller school like it was, you know, a Catholic school
Speaker 5: where there's only like, you know, twenty five kids in
Speaker 5: the classroom or in the class So it was one
Speaker 5: of those things where you kind of knew everybody see.
Speaker 2: And that's not Smith's school, it's a big school.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you gotta.
Speaker 5: I think that you got to not only just ask
Speaker 5: that question, because anybody can lie in their answers to
Speaker 5: the questions, but you got to really know.
Speaker 1: But sometimes you'll never know, I know, you know, So I.
Speaker 6: Would suggest that they do a play date at like
Speaker 6: a zav zone or something, so at that point they're
Speaker 6: in a mutual area. They can still go out and
Speaker 6: have fun. But during that time is when you can
Speaker 6: talk to the parents.
Speaker 2: I think I feel even more comfortable if I had
Speaker 2: just if I knew who the mom was. I don't
Speaker 2: even know who this person is.
Speaker 6: Like, you'll have the play date for them, but you
Speaker 6: also have your parent date as well, so you can
Speaker 6: ask those necessary questions. So at least you can just
Speaker 6: feel more comfortable to person. And then you get that
Speaker 6: bad feeling. Man.
Speaker 3: I just remember back in the day, if I asked
Speaker 3: my mom.
Speaker 2: We called them bus passes because you had you had
Speaker 2: to take like your parent note to the office and
Speaker 2: give it to the secretary and then they would give
Speaker 2: you a pass to hand to the bus driver to say,
Speaker 2: like you got to go on a different bus because
Speaker 2: you were going to somebody else's house, my mom. I
Speaker 2: don't think my mom met any of the people that
Speaker 2: I did that, Like, she was really quick to be like, oh,
Speaker 2: you want to go to you know, Jenny's house.
Speaker 7: Go.
Speaker 1: It was really trusting.
Speaker 5: And the other thing too, is that we didn't have
Speaker 5: any devices that you could, you know, watch the kids
Speaker 5: by Holly, what's going on?
Speaker 1: Hi?
Speaker 8: Stay there?
Speaker 9: I just wanted to let you know, I definitely agree
Speaker 9: with Shannon when it comes to, uh, letting our kids,
Speaker 9: you know, mingle with different families. It's just kind of
Speaker 9: it's a scary world right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it always has been, Holly.
Speaker 5: We we we were raised probably in a scary world too.
Speaker 5: Our parents just didn't give a crap. But you heard
Speaker 5: some of those stories. I mean there's there were stories
Speaker 5: of something happened by a dad touching a girl or
Speaker 5: something that's one of the houses, or a brother you know,
Speaker 5: doing something they shouldn't have been doing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean?
Speaker 9: Right absolutely, I think we're just more aware of everything.
Speaker 5: There's more Netflix documentaries. Yeah, what's up, Amanda?
Speaker 8: Hi?
Speaker 10: How are you guys?
Speaker 1: Hey? What's going on?
Speaker 4: Hey? I Santa and I am the exact same way.
Speaker 4: I have six kids. My youngest is only five months,
Speaker 4: my oldest is twelve. And just the other day he
Speaker 4: wanted to go to a friend's house for a half
Speaker 4: day before football practice, and I went over there first.
Speaker 4: I had to meet the parents make sure they were home.
Speaker 4: I everything, it's my kids cannot go to sleepovers. I
Speaker 4: was able to go to sleepovers, but times, I feel
Speaker 4: like times have always been scary, but I feel like
Speaker 4: it's just it's a little bit worse now. You hear
Speaker 4: a lot of scary things and you just don't.
Speaker 5: Know how did the parents take it when you went
Speaker 5: over there and started doing Actually.
Speaker 4: I had pulled up, I had my son's location, and
Speaker 4: I had Kate went over there is by the school,
Speaker 4: and I said, it's his mom there. He said, well,
Speaker 4: his grandma's here. I said, okay, well I need to
Speaker 4: meet her. And she came outside. She was very very kind.
Speaker 4: I explained to her son, you know, my kids, can
Speaker 4: I go anywhere. I usually have to know the parents.
Speaker 4: I said, but he's a little bit older, and you know,
Speaker 4: he's really close with your son. And she goes, I
Speaker 4: completely understand, and she met me and she was wonderful.
Speaker 4: So I was really appreciative and if not, then he
Speaker 4: would have been coming home with me.
Speaker 5: But how many, you know, minutes do you have to
Speaker 5: spend with somebody before you know if they're crazy?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Like, I think Kev's idea of doing mutual is probably
Speaker 5: the best way. Stacy's got an idea for you, Shannon,
Speaker 5: what's your idea?
Speaker 7: Hi? Guys, By the way, I listen every day I'm
Speaker 7: on the app right now. You are my favorite. Thank you,
Speaker 7: like you like your family to me. But anyway, so
Speaker 7: my kids are older now, but I was the same way,
Speaker 7: super protective. I would always invite them over my house
Speaker 7: and it's kind of still that way.
Speaker 3: The kids all come over now.
Speaker 1: Because I've established that.
Speaker 7: But I feel like then I can kind of keep
Speaker 7: an eye on things and you can get a feel
Speaker 7: for the boys.
Speaker 5: Would any of the parents ask you questions like some
Speaker 5: people have been asking or did you have parents that
Speaker 5: would just drop the kids off and go all right,
Speaker 5: here you go?
Speaker 7: Always just drop them off? Always?
Speaker 5: We had a neighbor We had a neighbor one time
Speaker 5: that did this with us, had a little kid and
Speaker 5: we just moved into the neighborhood. We had obviously kids
Speaker 5: and the kids were their age and their kid came
Speaker 5: over to our house hung out with us. We met
Speaker 5: the parents when we are moving truck. We had moved
Speaker 5: us into the place and we'd been in for a
Speaker 5: couple of three weeks.
Speaker 1: It was a Saturday.
Speaker 5: I'll never forget it, and he came over to hang
Speaker 5: out with us. Because in the Midwest, you just go
Speaker 5: right to the back screen door and you know what
Speaker 5: I mean, in the sliding doors open. The kid came over.
Speaker 5: We're like, hey, you have to go back home. We're
Speaker 5: going to be leaving. My parents aren't home. Where are they?
Speaker 5: Mom was at the mall. The mall was thirty minutes
Speaker 5: from She used us as a babysitter. And I'll never
Speaker 5: forget that. Chelsey is like, we would never do. She
Speaker 5: had to look at me, like, you're never going to
Speaker 5: do this. But I think even you know, the smallest
Speaker 5: time knowing people like you have your you have your
Speaker 5: circle of your friends right and you know them, you
Speaker 5: can trust them.
Speaker 1: There's people, those are people that you've been sometime, but
Speaker 1: you know, you'll.
Speaker 5: Never forgive yourself if something happens right exitro what's up, Hi.
Speaker 8: Good morning, how are you beautiful people.
Speaker 1: We're great. How you doing.
Speaker 8: I'm good in traffic in fifty nine. But listen, my daughter,
Speaker 8: this is me all day.
Speaker 9: You know.
Speaker 8: She couldn't go anywhere in elementary okay, not even family really.
Speaker 8: Then in middle school a little bit, I had to
Speaker 8: go in the house. Look who feed it, who lives there?
Speaker 8: And all that. Even as she's grown, and I'm still
Speaker 8: like that, like I think, I think with you, you
Speaker 8: know it's her.
Speaker 1: Well, let me ask her how old is she?
Speaker 8: Twenty three?
Speaker 5: So she goes on a date that she meets on Tinder,
Speaker 5: I'd be more petrified over that.
Speaker 8: Oh my god, I life.
Speaker 4: And all like who the hell I mean excuse me?
Speaker 8: I mean you know I'm like that with my nieces
Speaker 8: and nephew that me and my sister and brother called
Speaker 8: me call your niece or nephews because I will even
Speaker 8: do them like that, like who is this?
Speaker 3: Send me that?
Speaker 8: I you know, it's crazy. It's not like the village
Speaker 8: we had. I'm fifty one, you know, and it was crapy,
Speaker 8: but we know the creeks and.
Speaker 1: You know who had what cousin?
Speaker 8: You know you used to anna, I mean yoho wife,
Speaker 8: like infanty night shout out, Oh my gosh. All right,
Speaker 8: y'all have.
Speaker 1: Yourself. What's up, Jane High?
Speaker 11: Okay, so everyone is a green Shannon, I don't. I
Speaker 11: feel like y'all are taking away like their core childhood
Speaker 11: memories like we got to have on them and sleepovers
Speaker 11: and everything, And it's crazy to take that away of
Speaker 11: the experience as a kid, because I feel like if
Speaker 11: you take that away now, when they grow up.
Speaker 10: Later, they're gonna go wild.
Speaker 11: They're gonna go crazy going on.
Speaker 3: No, I get it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, what is the balance though, you know, keeping
Speaker 2: them safe and feeling comfortable as mom and also like
Speaker 2: giving them that that freedom.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 8: I also think it's important to explain to them, like
Speaker 8: why you're doing it, because I think when I was
Speaker 8: growing up I heard know a lot, but never why
Speaker 8: it was a nom Well.
Speaker 5: I think you definitely got to make them aware too
Speaker 5: that if something that seems abnormal happens when you are
Speaker 5: somewhere that you and if it's not normal to you,
Speaker 5: you got to say something to me, and it may
Speaker 5: be something that's Can I.
Speaker 3: Tell you something?
Speaker 2: Lucy and I went on, I can't even remember where
Speaker 2: we were going. Her and I were going somewhere by ourselves.
Speaker 2: It might have been her girl Scout camp last year
Speaker 2: or something like that, and I had found this We
Speaker 2: were just like talking about just like different questions, different things.
Speaker 2: I'd found this list of questions to ask your daughter
Speaker 2: before she becomes a teenager.
Speaker 3: And I was like, Okay, this is a great opportunity.
Speaker 3: We're going on a road trip.
Speaker 2: And one of the things she told me about something
Speaker 2: that made her uncomfortable during a play date. She was
Speaker 2: on forever change to my mind, and it was about
Speaker 2: something I'm not going to get into it, but it
Speaker 2: was concerning the dad. It wasn't sexual in nature or
Speaker 2: anything like that. But what she told me made me go, Okay,
Speaker 2: I like really have to kind of buckle down and
Speaker 2: be way more careful here.
Speaker 3: And it was somebody I knew.
Speaker 1: Wow, so important to talk to you.
Speaker 5: Yes, Courtney has a dilemma. Your daughter's how old.
Speaker 10: Gosh, she'll be seventeen. She's sixteen right now.
Speaker 5: And she got invited to go hang out with friends,
Speaker 5: not a playdate, but.
Speaker 10: What her She got invited with her best friend's family
Speaker 10: to go to Cancun over spring break.
Speaker 1: Oh jeez.
Speaker 10: And I've always been a pretty lenient parent. I live
Speaker 10: in a very small town. We all know each other,
Speaker 10: so play dates and sleepovers have always been a pretty
Speaker 10: open thing with us. Yeah, but I'm really struggling with
Speaker 10: this decision, and I know the parent.
Speaker 1: That's what I was going to say.
Speaker 6: With her being the best friend, you've obviously come in
Speaker 6: contact with the parents before. Your level of comfortability still
Speaker 6: isn't there though, to see your daughter overseas.
Speaker 5: It will, well, Mexican, I can't be honest with different country,
Speaker 5: I'd be I'd be afraid, honestly nowadays, just even going
Speaker 5: anywhere because of travel could you never know what can happen?
Speaker 5: And there have been alerts of alerts of traveling in
Speaker 5: Mexico lately. So here's my thing with that. I think
Speaker 5: if you're not going, she's not going.
Speaker 10: Maybe that's kind of.
Speaker 5: And man, you heard the story about that girl and
Speaker 5: Punta Kana that went missing. One story like that, One
Speaker 5: story like that keeps me from ever not being there
Speaker 5: for you also got to know your child though too well,
Speaker 5: he could.
Speaker 1: I'm sure that mom knew her child.
Speaker 5: They say that that kid was honestly an honorable kid
Speaker 5: who never had a boyfriend. They said the girl they
Speaker 5: went missing, and she met the kid from another school
Speaker 5: and then they went out in the water and supposedly
Speaker 5: she's gone.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know. I'd be sick as hell.
Speaker 1: You told me I could go can Coon though. By
Speaker 1: the way, by the way, uh, we got to get
Speaker 1: you a map. Shut up, Shanny. Just because you went
Speaker 1: to Boston and got you a Harvard had no mean
Speaker 1: realized