WEBVTT - Joe Can't Pack Himself 

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<v Speaker 1>This portion of the Joe Show podcast is powered by

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<v Speaker 1>Farrah and Farrah, Tampa accident attorneys. Raise, baby, raise.

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<v Speaker 2>The biggest crowd at Tropicana Field in 10 years just

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<v Speaker 2>saw the raise.

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<v Speaker 3>Raise up, Tampa Bay.

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<v Speaker 4>The Joe Show, only on 93.3 FLZ.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's what I would do. It's the Moan Run Derby.

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<v Speaker 1>You got to leave us a talk back on our

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<v Speaker 1>iHeartRadio app. What would it sound like if you hit

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<v Speaker 1>a home run? The funniest talk back. We'll get the $ 500.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's see what this is.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, there it is, baby.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right.

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<v Speaker 4>That's what I told you.

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<v Speaker 1>I told you.

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<v Speaker 4>Bow to your sensei. Bow to your sensei.

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<v Speaker 1>You knew this was going to happen. You knew it.

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<v Speaker 2>Look me in my eyes the whole time I'm running

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<v Speaker 2>around these bases.

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<v Speaker 1>Look at me in my eyes.

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<v Speaker 4>Don't you dare look away. I own you now.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, boy.

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<v Speaker 1>Whoa. That was intense. I mean, listen. Is that the winner?

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<v Speaker 1>It might be. Here's another one from Alyssa. Help run. Woo!

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<v Speaker 1>Good job, man. Good job.

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<v Speaker 4>Good job.

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<v Speaker 1>It goes on and on. And then we also got

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<v Speaker 1>this one, too. We'll play this last one. Whoa!

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<v Speaker 4>Look at that, baby. Go take your ass back to

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<v Speaker 4>your dugout, you son.

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<v Speaker 2>Come on, come on, baby. Go, go, go, baby.

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<v Speaker 1>Go, go, go, go, go.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>You got a lot of good ones.

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<v Speaker 1>Click the red microphone button. Leave us a talkback. The

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<v Speaker 1>funniest one will win. We'll have three finalists at 945.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll play the three. We'll take the votes. We'll give away...

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<v Speaker 1>The $ 500. I mean, is there anything better than this?

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<v Speaker 3>No, sir.

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<v Speaker 1>Nothing. Nothing. And thank you, thank you, thank you to

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<v Speaker 1>Maher Chevrolet. You know, you say that guys can't pack

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<v Speaker 1>on their own. And that's fine, Katie. You know what?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not even going to deny that because Alyssa packed

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<v Speaker 1>for me going on this trip. I pick my clothes.

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<v Speaker 1>She will pack, though. She, you know, folds, gets everything

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<v Speaker 1>in there nice so that I'm not wrinkly. And then

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<v Speaker 1>also she handles all my toiletries. I'm assuming you do

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<v Speaker 1>that for Sean.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I did the toiletries. And I was like, I

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<v Speaker 2>think you can do this. You know what you need

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<v Speaker 2>to get ready in the morning. Oh, I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>what to do. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, be a man.

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<v Speaker 1>No, that's not how that works.

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<v Speaker 3>It is how it works. Be a man. Take your

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<v Speaker 3>damn toothbrush.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, but your girlfriend doesn't live with you. I'm telling

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<v Speaker 1>you right now, the moment you and Rodina start living

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<v Speaker 1>with each other, it's crazy. You just forget how to

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<v Speaker 1>do it. It's nuts. No, you really do.

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<v Speaker 3>You forget how to put a bar of soap into

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<v Speaker 3>a zip-up bag.

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<v Speaker 1>Jed, I'm telling you. You know what? Now we are

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<v Speaker 1>going to talk about it. Then we got to bring

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<v Speaker 1>up the bag, though, you sent him in because you

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<v Speaker 1>did him dirty. You did.

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<v Speaker 2>What bag?

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<v Speaker 1>We'll get to it later. We'll do this after. The

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<v Speaker 1>bag on me?

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<v Speaker 4>Yes.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, the bag was on him. And us.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes.

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<v Speaker 1>But hold on.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, God.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know about this. 800-409-9393. Do you got a

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<v Speaker 1>pack for your man? Is your man that bad? Because

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<v Speaker 1>I 1,000%. Jed, it's crazy how that works. I will forget.

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<v Speaker 1>My toothbrush, my toothpaste, my toothpicks, like my floss. I'll

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<v Speaker 1>forget shampoo, conditioner, body soap, my medicine. If I don't

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<v Speaker 1>take one certain medicine, I get really, really, really sick.

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<v Speaker 1>I've forgotten that before. Alyssa doesn't trust me to pack anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>She will literally, my toiletries and everything.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you get ready in the morning? Do you

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<v Speaker 2>forget to put on deodorant?

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<v Speaker 1>Carefully. What do you mean?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you forget to brush your teeth?

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<v Speaker 1>No, because I have everything there.

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<v Speaker 2>Here's a fun exercise. As you're packing your toiletries, pretend

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<v Speaker 2>like you're getting ready in the morning. And what would

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<v Speaker 2>you need first? And then you grab each thing and

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<v Speaker 2>you put it in your little bag.

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<v Speaker 1>Pretend? What do you think I am, three? I stopped pretending.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, visualize it then.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, thank you. Visualize. Yes!

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<v Speaker 3>You are a grown-ass man. You're getting married in two months.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like you're choosing not to pack your toiletries.

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<v Speaker 1>I agree!

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<v Speaker 3>So he can go to CVS or Walmart or wherever

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<v Speaker 3>and get new ones while he's there, Katie. He is

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<v Speaker 3>that dude.

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<v Speaker 1>Why would I want to do that, though, on the trip?

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't have done that. I didn't have body soap

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<v Speaker 1>the whole entire trip. I was talking to Sean about

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<v Speaker 1>it after. Did you guys make sweet love the moment

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<v Speaker 1>he got home?

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<v Speaker 2>No, he went to bed.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, good. Because we both used... Well, no. Because we

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<v Speaker 1>both used shampoo the whole entire weekend on everything. I

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<v Speaker 1>was sober when we flew. Yeah. It's so, but it,

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<v Speaker 1>it didn't work the same. We both looked at each

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<v Speaker 1>other and I literally said to him, I go body,

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<v Speaker 1>body soap, no body soap. He goes, no, I only

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<v Speaker 1>had shampoo. I go, I, me too. I feel like, uh,

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<v Speaker 1>just like, I, I feel like I have a protective

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<v Speaker 1>film all over me. I don't, who's this?

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<v Speaker 2>Amber.

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<v Speaker 3>Amber.

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<v Speaker 1>Does your, uh, man not know how to pack?

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<v Speaker 4>So my ex-husband doesn't know how to pack, so I

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<v Speaker 4>would pack for him, but I forget everything. So he

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<v Speaker 4>would be like, do you have this?

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<v Speaker 3>Do you have this?

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<v Speaker 4>Do you have this? But still not pack it for himself.

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<v Speaker 2>Unreal. I don't understand.

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<v Speaker 1>Is he your ex-husband because of that? Should Sean and

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<v Speaker 1>I be worried now?

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<v Speaker 2>Come on now.

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<v Speaker 3>Watch your mouth. Watch your mouth.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 4>It's okay. All right.

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<v Speaker 3>It's okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Noted. Noted. Well, I do some things. I do some ass.

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<v Speaker 1>Some ass.

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<v Speaker 3>Not all ass.

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<v Speaker 4>Listen, I will forget, like, my medicine. I'll forget my

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<v Speaker 4>medicine because I've got three kids and him and I'm

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<v Speaker 4>packing everything. And he's just like, well, do you have

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<v Speaker 4>my shorts? I'm like, did you give them to me?

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<v Speaker 4>He's like, I don't know. Give me some shorts, then

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<v Speaker 4>I'll put them in the bag. Why can't you do

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<v Speaker 4>this yourself?

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<v Speaker 1>I pick out my clothes. To be fair.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, that's good.

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<v Speaker 1>Because I like to pick out my clothes.

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<v Speaker 3>Now, does she put them in the suitcase, Joe, or

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<v Speaker 3>do you put them in the suitcase?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it depends. If I'm having trouble getting them in,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what it is. She must have been

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<v Speaker 1>really good at Tetris when she was younger. Because she

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<v Speaker 1>can pack. She can pack the car. Alyssa's very good

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<v Speaker 1>at putting things together.

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<v Speaker 3>We'll get to the bag later. The bag was on

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<v Speaker 3>all of us.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a horrible situation to be in.

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<v Speaker 3>Amber, I applaud you for divorcing your man, though. He

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<v Speaker 3>clearly couldn't take care of you and he couldn't pack

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<v Speaker 3>for the kids either.

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<v Speaker 4>No, and I still take care of him. He called

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<v Speaker 4>me yesterday and he was like, I need help with

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<v Speaker 4>my bills. No way. I'm like, are you kidding me?

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<v Speaker 4>I'm like, yeah, I guess. What do you owe? Where

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<v Speaker 4>are you at? He's like, I just don't know. I'm like, okay,

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<v Speaker 4>now I need all of your login information and your

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<v Speaker 4>banking account information.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't pay his bills and get them in collections. That's

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<v Speaker 1>what you got to do. Hey, we love you. We

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<v Speaker 1>love you so much. Thank you for calling in. I

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<v Speaker 1>got my fiance on right now and she's at work,

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<v Speaker 1>so we got to move quick on this. Babe, you,

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<v Speaker 1>Katie came, I got to pack everything for Sean. He

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't know how to pack. Can you tell her it's

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<v Speaker 1>not that bad because you do it for me and

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<v Speaker 1>you love me? I just have anxiety that you're going

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<v Speaker 1>to forget, like, your medicine or, like, just.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, little things. So I just feel like

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<v Speaker 2>it's easier just to put your toiletries in your bag

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<v Speaker 2>and just send you off.

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<v Speaker 3>So she's doing it out of pity, in other words.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you doing it out of pity?

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<v Speaker 2>Because I know you'll forget something.

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<v Speaker 1>And maybe Katie feels like she knows that Sean will

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<v Speaker 1>forget something.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, he 100% will forget everything.

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<v Speaker 3>So you do it out of pity.

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<v Speaker 1>Um, mm. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know how to answer that, actually.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what? The bachelorette party is this weekend. What

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<v Speaker 1>if you and Sean let us pack your bags?

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<v Speaker 2>I would have nothing.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely not. I would love to pack your bag, babe.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to do that for you. Absolutely not, from

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<v Speaker 1>the sounds of it.

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<v Speaker 4>I might need to pack people who are going on

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<v Speaker 4>a trip's bags for them, so.

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<v Speaker 1>I hear it's been a little bit messy lately in the.

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<v Speaker 3>Chat, no? From the sounds of this.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, from the sounds of this. No, from the sounds

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<v Speaker 1>of the debacles with my bachelorette party outfits. So, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm packing my own bag. You are not packing.

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<v Speaker 3>My bag, and Sean is not going to pack Katie's bag.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, I'll tell you off the air.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, okay. All right. I love you.

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<v Speaker 2>Just my blank stare.

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<v Speaker 1>Listen.

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<v Speaker 2>Love you. And we do it just because I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>saying that guys are helpless, but... You're not not. They are.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, and you know what? They are.

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<v Speaker 2>You just love to be taken care of. Well, that's okay.

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<v Speaker 2>And we love our men, so.

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<v Speaker 1>Jed, they're being so mean. I want to go back

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<v Speaker 1>to New Orleans.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, I'm not going to say no.

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<v Speaker 1>We're going back. All right. Love you. I love you. Bye. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>my God. My. butt cannot take another day of it. Wait, don't,

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<v Speaker 1>because I ate bad food. I've been pooping a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>Nothing happened with my butt.

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<v Speaker 3>Alyssa forgot to pack his tummies.

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<v Speaker 1>Too many tummies and now he's got to have some tummies. Chad,

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<v Speaker 1>tell everyone nothing happened with my butt in New Orleans. Nothing.

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<v Speaker 3>Zero things happened.

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<v Speaker 1>Quit thinking something happened to my butt in New Orleans.

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<v Speaker 1>This portion of the Joe Show podcast is powered by

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<v Speaker 1>Farrah and Farrah, Tampa accident attorneys.