WEBVTT - Every Guy Does This  

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<v Speaker 1>All right, it is Mojo in the Morning show.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, many people have said that I could be

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<v Speaker 1>the greatest husband ever, said many people, you know, nine

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<v Speaker 1>out of ten doctors surveyed. Now, So so Chelsea, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I will do anything for Chelsea now, especially after the

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<v Speaker 1>you know, the the year that we've had, I will

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<v Speaker 1>even do even more than I probably would have done.

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<v Speaker 1>But there is just one thing that I don't understand

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<v Speaker 1>how it is that I can't do it without something else.

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<v Speaker 1>So Chelsea, Uh, the last probably four or five nights,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't know if this is something that's caused

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<v Speaker 1>by you know, her cancer recovery, she has had the

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<v Speaker 1>worst back pains ever. Like literally her back has been

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<v Speaker 1>killing her. And she's always had kind of a bad back.

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<v Speaker 1>So she will ask me if I will massage her back,

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<v Speaker 1>and she we have like these little things that we bought.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like a massage or it's like it's called a

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<v Speaker 1>therapy gun. Have you ever seen those? Like I think

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<v Speaker 1>the players use the Yeah, so you got a thera

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<v Speaker 1>gun thing. So she'll say, hey, will you thera gun

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<v Speaker 1>my back? And I said, absolutely, no problem. But she

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<v Speaker 1>always goes into it and says, but you cannot pull

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<v Speaker 1>your pants down in the middle because what ends up

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<v Speaker 1>happening is and I don't know why this is. And

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<v Speaker 1>I want to ask, are there any guys listening to

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<v Speaker 1>the show right now, if you're a man with male genitalia,

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<v Speaker 1>will you listen up real quick and tell me how

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<v Speaker 1>is it that you can go through massaging a woman's

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<v Speaker 1>back or you know, giving them a back rub or

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<v Speaker 1>anything like that, or even theor gunning without wanting to

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<v Speaker 1>have sex. And so she said to me, and you

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<v Speaker 1>can call her up if you want to Lydia for this.

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<v Speaker 1>She said to me, you're the only guy that does this.

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<v Speaker 1>You think you're gonna get sex every single time you

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<v Speaker 1>do it? And I said to her, I have no

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<v Speaker 1>idea how any man cannot want to just bang their

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<v Speaker 1>wife or girlfriend or have sex after they they give

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<v Speaker 1>a massage. It's always going to lead to that.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think you're wrong, thank you, in your thought

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<v Speaker 2>process at all. I think there's something so relaxing and

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<v Speaker 2>at times extremely intimate with massages. And you already touching her,

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<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean, You're already laying down, She's

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<v Speaker 2>already extremely relaxed as well, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, God, it leads to it always leads to

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit of excitement level, Like it gives me,

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<v Speaker 1>like to a point where I get excited over the deal.

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<v Speaker 3>I know.

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<v Speaker 1>Cooper, are you a man? Do you have male genitaliat do?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Cooper? Can you massage without wanting to have sex?

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<v Speaker 4>I'll be completely honest with you. I used to so

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<v Speaker 4>when I was younger, I used to My mom would

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<v Speaker 4>like work really long days, so I'd give her message

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<v Speaker 4>massages and just like make her day.

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<v Speaker 3>A lot easier.

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<v Speaker 4>So as as an adult, yeah, I don't. It's just

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<v Speaker 4>more just to like, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, wait, so you don't get so you don't get

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<v Speaker 1>horny at all because you think of your mom.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, yeah, it's just it's a nice thing, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>just to make them feel more at ease.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what, Cooper, You're the worst first phone call

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<v Speaker 1>I could have picked. You are a big a hole

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't ever want to talk to you again.

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<v Speaker 1>Hold on, Chelsea's on with us right now? Chelsea. Yeah, Chelse,

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<v Speaker 1>here's the thing. You know how much I love you,

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<v Speaker 1>but you also know how much I don't want you

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<v Speaker 1>to hurt. I don't want your back to hurt you,

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<v Speaker 1>but you have to understand it is a natural male

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<v Speaker 1>human reaction to want to turn the back massage into

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<v Speaker 1>a sexual thing.

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<v Speaker 5>And from now on, I will pay for my massage

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<v Speaker 5>a stranger.

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<v Speaker 1>Even Kevin said that there's no way that he could

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<v Speaker 1>massage a girl without wanting to have sex. Are we surprised, right?

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<v Speaker 6>And not?

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<v Speaker 3>Just isn't fair for the girl?

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<v Speaker 5>Like we're just we have a throw back.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to know, did you do any male messuses

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<v Speaker 1>messuse ees? I don't know if the pluralis of that.

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<v Speaker 1>Do any male massage therapists ever have this happen to them,

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<v Speaker 1>like where they they massage a client and they get

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<v Speaker 1>all tingly and stuff.

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<v Speaker 5>It has I think that this is this is a

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<v Speaker 5>male fantasy, Like I don't think you know you all

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<v Speaker 5>take massage, you think sex happy ending females were like

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<v Speaker 5>massage relaxed, don't touch me again?

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<v Speaker 1>Like not every female exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>There there are some females listening right now that also

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<v Speaker 2>picked those links.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, okay, maybe two. Am you trying to get our

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<v Speaker 1>back rub? Not bro come on, hold on, hold on,

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<v Speaker 1>Zeke is on with us right now? Zeke are you there? Yes?

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<v Speaker 6>Hey, yeah, sneath freaky.

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<v Speaker 4>I'll be rubbing on my girls. She's a regular caller.

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<v Speaker 4>This is my first time calling.

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<v Speaker 1>Zeke you. Yeah, I'll be.

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<v Speaker 6>Rubbing up on her and then she passes out on you.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm trying to get it, and I'm seesus there snoring.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh great, Oh yeah, you think she's faking it.

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<v Speaker 1>You think that she's actually lying about being sleep.

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<v Speaker 6>He really is deep sleep.

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<v Speaker 3>And I'd be like, oh my.

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<v Speaker 1>God, Chelsea, that's what you need. He gives a good massage.

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<v Speaker 1>It makes you fall asleep. You give it. I give

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<v Speaker 1>Chelsea a massage, and about five seconds into it, She's like,

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<v Speaker 1>you just stuck something in my back. I mean, it's

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<v Speaker 1>like crazy, but yeah, I'll be like rubbing her and

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<v Speaker 1>then all of a sudden, I just hear the snort

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm oh, man, what's up, Joe?

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<v Speaker 3>Hi?

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<v Speaker 1>How you doing?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 6>Hey, mom doing the gang? I guys doing.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm good.

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<v Speaker 1>We're good, buddy. Are you like it? Are you an

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<v Speaker 1>average guy like we are?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 6>I definitely am. Like if I offer my girlfriend and

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<v Speaker 6>massage and she she asked me, is this strings attacked?

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<v Speaker 6>I'll yeah, no strings attached. But then during it's like

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<v Speaker 6>all I can think about you know what I mean.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's it the entire time.

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<v Speaker 7>I mean, if if she's really tired, really messed up,

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<v Speaker 7>I will give her good massage and she'll fall asleep.

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<v Speaker 7>But like if I don't say anything and I just

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<v Speaker 7>start massage and her she knows what I'm thinking.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly right, you know what it is?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeahnts turn the back shots?

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<v Speaker 6>Hey you think you're already right there?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god? Hold on, Morgan? What did you want

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<v Speaker 1>to say? Morgan?

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<v Speaker 7>H Right, So I've been married my husband now for

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<v Speaker 7>over nine years and I'm at the point in our

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<v Speaker 7>marriage now where.

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<v Speaker 3>If a BackRub does not lead to sex, I kind.

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<v Speaker 1>Of get son dead. Chelsea. You see this, This is

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<v Speaker 1>what you're supposed to act like, Chelsea, I'll.

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<v Speaker 3>You inate the heck even I'll be like, do you

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<v Speaker 3>want to give me a BackRub?

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<v Speaker 1>Morgan? Will you? Yeah? How long? Mark?

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<v Speaker 3>Over nine years?

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<v Speaker 1>See that? Chelsea?

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<v Speaker 5>Well, get back to me when you hit thirty one?

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<v Speaker 1>The charge, Morgan, Morgan, do me a favor, tutor my wife? Please?

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<v Speaker 1>What's going on? Dennis?

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<v Speaker 5>Hi?

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<v Speaker 1>Dennis?

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<v Speaker 4>Hey, how's it going?

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<v Speaker 1>Hey? It's going good? Dennis, Say hi to my wife,

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<v Speaker 1>Chelsea she's on the phone. Hi, Chelsea, how are you?

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<v Speaker 4>My wife is actually listening to right now?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh geez, all right, be careful. You could get yourself

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<v Speaker 1>in trouble. Go ahead.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm definitely not going to. But I mean, I'm like

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<v Speaker 4>freaky Zeki over there. I don't think I've ever given

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<v Speaker 4>her massage and gotten turned down. Oh but yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 4>hear it all the time.

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<v Speaker 6>Oh yeah, no, I mean even you know, going when

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<v Speaker 6>she's taking.

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<v Speaker 4>A shower, you know, rubber back out a little bit,

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<v Speaker 4>and you know it always happen.

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<v Speaker 1>Heyah, see that, Chelsea, this is what normal relationships sound like.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you listening?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>How long has he been there? How long you've been married? There?

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<v Speaker 6>Dennis together for five?

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<v Speaker 1>See that, Chelsea. That's it.

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<v Speaker 5>They're not proving any good point here.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh Jesus, hold on, Candace says, what's up? Candace, candas

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<v Speaker 1>you can relate to Chelsea. Huh, Yeah, what's the story?

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<v Speaker 7>It's normally, if anything, you know, I found like a

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<v Speaker 7>BackRub or just like my legs or something.

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<v Speaker 6>Pretty much it doesn't lead to anything.

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<v Speaker 1>I kind of you stop it short. Yeah, yeah, you

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<v Speaker 1>you and you're you're like Chelsea, you ruin the mood.

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<v Speaker 1>Why are you ruining the mood? This is why you

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<v Speaker 1>guys have back problems. I want you to know that

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<v Speaker 1>there's too much stress in your lives. You and you

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<v Speaker 1>and Chelsea need to like enjoy the moment. Carmen, what's up, Carmen? High?

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<v Speaker 6>Hey, So I go to a chiropractor and I get

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<v Speaker 6>a massage once a week and the whole time that's.

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<v Speaker 4>All I think about.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait with your chiropractor?

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<v Speaker 4>Wow?

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<v Speaker 1>He is he a good looking guy? Yes? He is?

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<v Speaker 1>And does he make your back feel better? Yes? If

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<v Speaker 1>you tell my wife the name of that chiropractor, I

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<v Speaker 1>will kill you. Carmens. It's amazing. Have you ever threw

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<v Speaker 1>it out there?

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<v Speaker 3>Like?

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<v Speaker 1>No, No, he's married? Oh my god? How crazy is that? Though?

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<v Speaker 1>He's adjusting her and she's in her head thinking that

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<v Speaker 1>she wants to bang this guy. Yes, jeez my goodness. Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>well where were.

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<v Speaker 5>It's a good massage?

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<v Speaker 1>There you go? Man, I almost said something that was

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<v Speaker 1>going to be bad. No, no, I can't dump it

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<v Speaker 1>because Chelsea will hear it. Ton.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi, how are you guys feeling?

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<v Speaker 1>What's happening? We're doing good? Say hello to my wife.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi? How you doing Chelsea?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm good.

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<v Speaker 3>How are you? I'm doing well and the first time long.

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<v Speaker 1>Money.

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<v Speaker 6>Okay, So I have a story in the reverse.

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<v Speaker 3>I took my boyfriend out for his birthday to get

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<v Speaker 3>professional massagers and we had separate rooms cause I didn't

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<v Speaker 3>get a couple of massage to cost somewhere. I was like,

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<v Speaker 3>whatever record do you master? And well it seemed like

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<v Speaker 3>he got more than what I paid for and then

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<v Speaker 3>what he bargained for because when I came out, I

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<v Speaker 3>was waiting on hand. I was sure because I had

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<v Speaker 3>like a female wrestler as a missus and he ran

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<v Speaker 3>out like I don't know what he saw. Okay, he

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<v Speaker 3>had his child wrapped around his waist and he act

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<v Speaker 3>like it was a fire in the room he came from.

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<v Speaker 1>What happened? What did she.

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<v Speaker 3>Tell me?

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<v Speaker 1>Wait a second, do you say what not tell me?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you think that? Do you think that she ended

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<v Speaker 1>up having like did they have sex with each other?

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<v Speaker 1>Or what happened?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know. I don't think it was sex. I

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<v Speaker 3>think he might have gotten an offer or she she

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<v Speaker 3>put her hands around.

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<v Speaker 1>She did he was as a wife or as a

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<v Speaker 1>wife where you offended that you got the bad massage

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<v Speaker 1>and he got the good massage.

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<v Speaker 3>No, I wasn't his wife. I was his girlfriend, and

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<v Speaker 3>and I wasn't that known because it made me laugh.

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<v Speaker 3>I was laughing all the way home. I'm almost in

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<v Speaker 3>tears asking him what happened. He never told me, and

0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:54.400
<v Speaker 3>I just I just didn't care. I could tell he

0:11:54.400 --> 0:11:55.160
<v Speaker 3>didn't have sex.

0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:59.319
<v Speaker 1>I have like something happened though, energy Yeah, would you

0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:00.440
<v Speaker 1>might have been okay with that?

0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:00.760
<v Speaker 2>Though?

0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:03.160
<v Speaker 1>If he did get a little touchy touchy.

0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:08.040
<v Speaker 3>And he got touched and he gave permission, I'm like,

0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:10.720
<v Speaker 3>I shouldn't have brought him there, but if he allowed

0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:13.200
<v Speaker 3>himself to go all the way, oh no, you know,

0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:14.760
<v Speaker 3>that would have been the reason we ended.

0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:26.839
<v Speaker 1>Would you tell my wife where you guys went? It's

0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:32.160
<v Speaker 1>all right, I'll talk to you later, Tony. I don't

0:12:32.160 --> 0:12:32.960
<v Speaker 1>want to get in trouble.

0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:34.200
<v Speaker 3>I tell you, guys.

0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:38.040
<v Speaker 1>Chelsea gets mad because I come in, you know, I

0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.679
<v Speaker 1>come into the room with their gun and no pants on,

0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:44.720
<v Speaker 1>and she's like, put your pants back on? All right, Chelsea?

0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:46.960
<v Speaker 1>I love you. How are you feeling this morning? You're

0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:47.520
<v Speaker 1>feeling better?

0:12:48.800 --> 0:12:49.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:52.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay, all right, good, all right, all right, We'll talk

0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:54.359
<v Speaker 1>to you later. Bye.

0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:54.400
<v Speaker 3>See you.