WEBVTT - HOA 

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<v Speaker 1>All right, I want to talk about something that really

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<v Speaker 1>drives me crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh-oh.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to do something right now.

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<v Speaker 3>Are you going to rant?

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<v Speaker 1>Actually. No, Joe Mini. No, yeah, exactly. I'm taking that on.

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<v Speaker 1>That actually flows. It does. No, I want to talk

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<v Speaker 1>about HOAs. What is an HOA? It's a Home Owners Association.

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<v Speaker 1>Who are on Home Owners Associations? The neighbors that have

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<v Speaker 1>too much time on their hands. The people that wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to be a cop but couldn't. The person that was

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<v Speaker 1>bullied in high school, you know, those people like that.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you have one?

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<v Speaker 1>We do not have one, thank goodness. But my buddy

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<v Speaker 1>Paul Clem does. And Paul's got a homeowners association where

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<v Speaker 1>these guys, I am convinced. He was talking to me

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<v Speaker 1>about his homeowners. He's got like a couple of neighbors.

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<v Speaker 1>There's like two guys that get all upset over. Paul's

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<v Speaker 1>got a pool. Paul's got a pool. He's got a

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<v Speaker 1>nice house. He's got a beautiful house. One of these

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<v Speaker 1>infinity type pools. He's got a big jacuzzi. Sits in

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<v Speaker 1>there with his big fat belly and just loves himself

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<v Speaker 1>in there. So Paul's the one guy's complaining because he

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<v Speaker 1>thinks that the pump is too loud. Well the city

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<v Speaker 1>said it's okay. The city says it's alright. His pool

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<v Speaker 1>pump The pool pump.

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<v Speaker 3>It's that loud that other people can hear it.

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<v Speaker 1>He thinks it's too loud. You know what? Who says

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<v Speaker 1>it's too loud? A guy who doesn't have a pool

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<v Speaker 1>pump is the guy that says it. The next thing

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<v Speaker 1>is like, you know, you're he's got really like meticulous landscaping.

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<v Speaker 1>This guy takes care of things because he doesn't work

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<v Speaker 1>a day in his life. He's got all this time

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<v Speaker 1>and he plants like daisies and stuff. It's really weird

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<v Speaker 1>how he does this. So long story short, we're having

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<v Speaker 1>this conversation and we're talking about homeowners association. And I

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<v Speaker 1>said to him, I go, I'm going to bring this

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<v Speaker 1>up on the radio and it's going to really off

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<v Speaker 1>those guys. Because the reason why I want to bring

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<v Speaker 1>it up is I don't think that you're doing anything wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>You've abided by the laws of the local municipality. And

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<v Speaker 1>these guys, for some reason are nitpicking because guess what?

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<v Speaker 1>They are pricks. They're pool. Um, yeah, they're poolists. So

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to have listeners call us up right now

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<v Speaker 1>and tell me you're, HOA problems because if you, do

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<v Speaker 1>you have an HOA?

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<v Speaker 4>No.

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<v Speaker 1>So I see like my house.

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<v Speaker 5>We have a neighborhood Facebook page. So honestly, that's enough

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<v Speaker 5>for me. What is the purpose of an HOA? They

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<v Speaker 5>will call you right out.

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<v Speaker 6>Because I'm looking at condos and all of them have

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<v Speaker 6>HOAs and it's so expensive.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's what an HOA is for. Condos are different because condos,

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<v Speaker 1>they also take care of the building and they have

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<v Speaker 1>to do maintenance and things like that.

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<v Speaker 3>That makes sense.

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<v Speaker 1>HOAs in neighborhoods, their responsibility is to make sure that

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<v Speaker 1>you don't have 12 cars up on jacks in front

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<v Speaker 1>of your house or Or that you, you know, cut

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<v Speaker 1>your lawn and you don't have like weeds overgrown.

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<v Speaker 3>You bring in your trash can.

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<v Speaker 1>Then you take your trash cans in or you don't

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<v Speaker 1>store them outside of the house where they neighbors can

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<v Speaker 1>see them and have flies all over the place. That's

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<v Speaker 1>what they're supposed to do. They're not supposed to sit

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<v Speaker 1>there and overly critique. Oh, you want to put, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>a pergola, you know, right here. Have you heard the pump?

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<v Speaker 1>I've been to Paul's house and I've actually been I've

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<v Speaker 1>not been in his pool. You've been in a jacuzzi, though?

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<v Speaker 1>He invited me, though, to come over one time when

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<v Speaker 1>his family was all gone. He was like, hey, do

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<v Speaker 1>you want a hot tub with me? I'm like, we're

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<v Speaker 1>not doing that.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I remember you talking about that.

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<v Speaker 1>That's crazy. Is it loud, though? It's not. This is

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<v Speaker 1>Shannon's point.

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<v Speaker 7>No.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I've ever heard a pool pump,

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<v Speaker 1>let alone it being a bother to me.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, my dad has a pool. I've never heard the pump.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, so he said to me on the phone one day,

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<v Speaker 1>he goes, you want to hear what the decibel my

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<v Speaker 1>pool pump is at? It's like a three-something or whatever

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<v Speaker 1>it is. And he goes this. You hear that little

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<v Speaker 1>like just hiss in the background?

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<v Speaker 2>That's it?

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<v Speaker 1>That's like what it is. It doesn't make a noise.

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<v Speaker 1>There's got to be something else. It has to be

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<v Speaker 1>a neighbor who said it. Why doesn't he just go

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<v Speaker 1>ask them? It's not necessarily. It's the neighbor who's the

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<v Speaker 1>homeowner's guy. So the homeowner's association, like if you had

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<v Speaker 1>an unbiased third party, I could understand that. Like my

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<v Speaker 1>son Jacob lives in a condo in Lincoln Park in Chicago.

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<v Speaker 1>And he's got a homeowner association and it's an unbiased

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<v Speaker 1>third party, but they have a board of so many

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<v Speaker 1>people that are on there. And the unbiased third party

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<v Speaker 1>has to kind of hear what everybody says and then

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<v Speaker 1>make a determination like a judge does.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>These cases in neighborhoods, they don't. This is a rich conversation.

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<v Speaker 1>My neighbor said the pool decibel was too high. Listen

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<v Speaker 1>to it, Tommy. That's a wild ass conversation. Listen to

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<v Speaker 1>the decibels of my pool. Guess what also is going

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<v Speaker 1>to be high? The wintertime when the ice and snow

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<v Speaker 1>just start blowing up against your windows. What's going on, Terry?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you there? Yes, I'm here.

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<v Speaker 8>Good morning.

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<v Speaker 3>Good morning.

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<v Speaker 1>Terry, you have any issues with your.

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<v Speaker 8>First time, long time.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Terry on the phone!

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<v Speaker 2>Woo!

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<v Speaker 6>I love that when you guys do that.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so funny.

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<v Speaker 6>But yeah, my homeowners association is nuts. We can't even

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<v Speaker 6>have garden flags. There's a gentleman, his son is in

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<v Speaker 6>the Navy, so he had a proud parent, the Navy person,

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<v Speaker 6>and he couldn't have that.

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<v Speaker 8>They asked him to remove it.

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<v Speaker 6>I live in a condo, and then the lights, we can't...

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<v Speaker 6>Landscaping lights, they have to be... They can't be too tall.

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<v Speaker 6>You can't have more than six.

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<v Speaker 8>I mean, it's just a lot of rules.

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<v Speaker 6>You can't have, like, charm.

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<v Speaker 8>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Why the charms.

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<v Speaker 6>Or not charms, the.

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<v Speaker 1>Like the wind chimes?

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, it's wind chimes.

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<v Speaker 8>We can't have that either.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's just absolutely nuts. Too many rules.

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<v Speaker 8>And everyone just really hates it, and it just makes.

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<v Speaker 6>An environment of just... You know, not.

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<v Speaker 1>Very fun environment. Here's where they get themselves put into trouble.

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<v Speaker 1>When you have the military family and you want to

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<v Speaker 1>put your flag up in front of your house.

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<v Speaker 3>That is terrible that they don't let you do that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I know.

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<v Speaker 6>I know.

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<v Speaker 8>And I had to take mine.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm a Lions fan, so I had to take mine

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<v Speaker 6>down because I didn't want a letter.

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<v Speaker 8>You know, and it's just crazy.

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<v Speaker 5>So what's the disciplinary action? That's my question. Like, oh,

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<v Speaker 5>I'm going to get a letter.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't care.

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<v Speaker 7>Right.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, then they fine you.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, they do.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, that's what I was wondering.

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<v Speaker 1>And then we have an attorney. Yeah. What do the

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<v Speaker 1>attorneys say?

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<v Speaker 6>Well, the attorneys will write a letter and then you

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<v Speaker 6>owe like the fee. And then, you know, then if

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<v Speaker 6>you don't pay it, which a lot of people don't.

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<v Speaker 1>Because they think it's ridiculous.

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<v Speaker 6>So then they lose the privilege of the pool and

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<v Speaker 6>the clubhouse.

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<v Speaker 1>And so here's the other thing.

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<v Speaker 3>If you don't have any of that stuff, then again,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't care.

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<v Speaker 1>A friend of mine went against his homeowners association and

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<v Speaker 1>got so upset. He's like, I'm selling my house. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>moving out of this neighborhood. I hate it. They wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>let him sell his house. They basically said he had

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<v Speaker 1>so many fines against him. He had to like pay

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<v Speaker 1>all these fines. It's the mafia. Madison, what's going on?

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<v Speaker 1>It's Mojo in the morning.

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<v Speaker 4>Good morning.

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<v Speaker 1>We're doing HOA, Homeowner A-Holes.

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<v Speaker 4>I had to call in because we don't live there anymore,

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<v Speaker 4>but me, my husband, and my five- or six-year-old at

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<v Speaker 4>the time lived in a very nice homeowners association. We

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<v Speaker 4>had had a couple of run-ins with an older gal

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<v Speaker 4>who was retired and was the president at the time.

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<v Speaker 4>But the final straw was when she literally waited for

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<v Speaker 4>my husband to leave, had parked down the street in

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<v Speaker 4>her car, came up to the door, knocked on the

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<v Speaker 4>door and basically told me that my son could not

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<v Speaker 4>have a trampoline in the backyard. And that if we

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<v Speaker 4>didn't take it down immediately, we were going to be fined.

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<v Speaker 4>They were going to proceed with legal action. I mean,

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<v Speaker 4>there was a bunch of threatening language.

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<v Speaker 8>It was just awful.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my God. That's why you have sprinklers. It's turning

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<v Speaker 1>them on when they're there. It is amazing. It's amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>And she's like, doing a covert operation and like on

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<v Speaker 1>a surveillance to see your, you know, uh, she.

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<v Speaker 4>Literally waited for him to leave so that she could,

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<v Speaker 4>you know, bombard me by myself. Essentially.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow.

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<v Speaker 4>Crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh, hold on. Let me grab here. Uh, Brandy, Brandy,

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<v Speaker 1>what's up?

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<v Speaker 7>Hi.

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<v Speaker 9>Hi.

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<v Speaker 7>How are you guys?

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<v Speaker 1>We're doing good. You got a complaint against the HOA.

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah, so it wasn't me, but my brother-in-law was building

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<v Speaker 7>a house in this neighborhood, and they were having geothermal

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<v Speaker 7>heating put in, and they got a complaint from the

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<v Speaker 7>HOA because they thought that they were drilling for oil

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<v Speaker 7>in their backyard.

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<v Speaker 1>That's crazy. Man, people get nuts.

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<v Speaker 5>But doesn't it feel good, though, to go back and

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<v Speaker 5>be like, uh, no, that's not what it is.

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<v Speaker 1>How about Mallory here? Mallory, what did you get fined

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<v Speaker 1>by the HOA for?

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<v Speaker 2>I bought ducks and was letting them roam, and I

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<v Speaker 2>got fined for it.

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<v Speaker 1>I understand now.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, that one, yeah.

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<v Speaker 5>Even though I love ducks, and I would be fine

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<v Speaker 5>with it, I do get how people would be upset.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you talking like real ducks?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. So for Easter, I bought my three kids baby ducks.

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<v Speaker 1>Rabbits.

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<v Speaker 2>They grow pretty quickly, so... You know, I live in

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<v Speaker 2>a subdivision in my backyard. I just put them in

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<v Speaker 2>my backyard and they would kind of roll. They stayed

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<v Speaker 2>in my yard.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I don't want ducks. Why'd you buy ducks for Easter?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not sure. Is it bunnies?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you were at Tractor Supply. What'd you do with

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<v Speaker 3>them then?

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<v Speaker 2>When I got fined, I had to find them a home.

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<v Speaker 1>How many ducks did you buy?

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<v Speaker 9>Three.

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<v Speaker 6>Three.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, my gosh. Two yellow and one black. Wow. That's crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>That's so random. Hold on a second here. Shay had

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<v Speaker 1>a neighbor report her for doing what, Shay?

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<v Speaker 8>My dog. I have a large dog. And he pooped

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<v Speaker 8>in my yard, not their yard. And they.

0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:07.940
<v Speaker 8>I think we had a thing against large dogs because

0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:11.610
<v Speaker 8>they had a small one. So we were fined multiple

0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:14.050
<v Speaker 8>times by the HOA. And I was so fed up

0:10:14.130 --> 0:10:18.390
<v Speaker 8>that I anonymously mailed the neighbor that reported me a

0:10:18.730 --> 0:10:19.350
<v Speaker 8>glitter bomb.

0:10:21.350 --> 0:10:23.730
<v Speaker 1>Explain what that is. Is that like where they open

0:10:23.770 --> 0:10:24.390
<v Speaker 1>it up and.

0:10:26.050 --> 0:10:26.890
<v Speaker 8>Glitter goes everywhere?

0:10:26.950 --> 0:10:29.870
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh. That by the way is a federal crime.

0:10:29.890 --> 0:10:31.750
<v Speaker 1>You better be careful. No, it's not.

0:10:32.460 --> 0:10:34.600
<v Speaker 3>No, there are companies that do that. You can go

0:10:34.660 --> 0:10:35.460
<v Speaker 3>online and do it.

0:10:35.500 --> 0:10:39.050
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, it was anonymous. I did it through Etsy where

0:10:39.090 --> 0:10:42.410
<v Speaker 8>it's anonymous and it's just like they open it and

0:10:42.470 --> 0:10:45.330
<v Speaker 8>just glitter. I made sure it was very fine glitter

0:10:45.929 --> 0:10:49.010
<v Speaker 8>that they couldn't clean up easily and glitter just goes everywhere.

0:10:49.050 --> 0:10:51.540
<v Speaker 1>But you got fine because your dog was doodling in

0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:54.500
<v Speaker 1>your backyard? Yes.

0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:56.780
<v Speaker 5>That's way too bad.

0:10:58.200 --> 0:10:59.120
<v Speaker 1>Was it like a lot of doodling?

0:10:59.179 --> 0:11:00.060
<v Speaker 8>He came into my.

0:11:00.700 --> 0:11:03.559
<v Speaker 1>They wanted you to pick it up and clean it

0:11:03.620 --> 0:11:04.520
<v Speaker 1>up after yourself?

0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:08.380
<v Speaker 8>He wanted me to pick it up like five seconds

0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:12.250
<v Speaker 8>after my dog went to the bathroom where I went

0:11:12.270 --> 0:11:15.210
<v Speaker 8>inside to, I just came home from work. I went

0:11:15.230 --> 0:11:18.569
<v Speaker 8>inside to put my stuff inside and I guess I

0:11:18.610 --> 0:11:22.260
<v Speaker 8>wasn't fast enough for him. So he made a complaint.

0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:22.250
<v Speaker 6>To our HOA.

0:11:22.820 --> 0:11:25.620
<v Speaker 1>That's craziness. You can complain about something that was happening

0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:28.380
<v Speaker 1>in your yard. In your yard. Unless it's like big

0:11:28.520 --> 0:11:31.300
<v Speaker 1>mountain piles. A bunch of them. Of course. Hold on.

0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:33.460
<v Speaker 1>Speaking of dog poop, let me go with Joe last.

0:11:33.500 --> 0:11:34.140
<v Speaker 1>What's up, Joe?

0:11:35.540 --> 0:11:36.179
<v Speaker 9>What's up?

0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:36.720
<v Speaker 8>Hey, everybody.

0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:37.280
<v Speaker 2>Good morning.

0:11:37.300 --> 0:11:38.600
<v Speaker 1>Good morning.

0:11:39.660 --> 0:11:42.240
<v Speaker 9>So I was blamed for dog poop that wasn't mine

0:11:42.300 --> 0:11:44.439
<v Speaker 9>in like an area that I never.

0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:45.260
<v Speaker 8>Walked my dog.

0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:48.559
<v Speaker 9>So when I was finally confronted by this old lady

0:11:48.620 --> 0:11:52.260
<v Speaker 9>that was in charge of everything, I grabbed it. with

0:11:52.340 --> 0:11:55.350
<v Speaker 9>my bare hand, brought it to her face, squeezed and said,

0:11:55.410 --> 0:11:56.410
<v Speaker 9>it's not my dogs.

0:11:57.429 --> 0:12:04.820
<v Speaker 1>It's too big. You lost in this situation. Joe, you

0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:06.600
<v Speaker 1>went a little insane. What?

0:12:08.670 --> 0:12:09.369
<v Speaker 9>Just over it.

0:12:09.410 --> 0:12:10.050
<v Speaker 7>So I just squeezed.

0:12:10.090 --> 0:12:12.750
<v Speaker 9>I'm like, look, it's not theirs. I literally lost my mind.

0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:18.099
<v Speaker 1>That's the only thing I lost. That is crazy. Joe,

0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:19.140
<v Speaker 1>you okay? You need help?