WEBVTT - Mike's Daughter Cecily is Going to Middle School 0:00:00.000 --> 0:00:01.600 All right, it is Mojo in the morning. And this 0:00:01.720 --> 0:00:04.880 is so crazy to think how fast summer has gone by. 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:08.680 But also it's so crazy to think how grown up 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:14.560 Mike's Cecily is. Cecily to me has always been the 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:17.640 little girl that you know Mike and Ali. You know, 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:21.400 I remember taking the first grade probably was you know 0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:24.680 a thing. She's going to middle school? Now, How crazy 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:27.000 is that? How did she get that old that fast? 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:28.480 Mike? I have no idea. 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:32.040 I just reminisced about it as we did orientation yesterday 0:00:32.040 --> 0:00:32.720 for middle school. 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:35.640 Oh my god, it's what was it like for you 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:39.040 to go into the orientation and everybody think that you 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:40.080 were a middle schooler. 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:42.720 If I didn't have a beer, they would be like, Sarah, 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:46.600 you need your school idea, young man. 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:51.800 Is she excited about it? She's very, very excited. 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:54.400 I think it's starting because we have like these talks 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:56.400 each night before we go to bed, we have a 0:00:56.440 --> 0:00:59.520 talk with each Milo and ces So we've been talking 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:03.240 to her about kind of what's what to expect going 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:05.920 into to middle school. And I think some of the 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:08.040 stuff that she didn't realize is going away is starting 0:01:08.040 --> 0:01:08.360 to hit her. 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:10.880 And we didn't know this either like there's no recess. 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:13.200 Like I know that's a silly thing, but to a kid, 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:16.640 like their whole world is is that that moment at 0:01:16.680 --> 0:01:19.160 recess and it's about to change. And she's kind of 0:01:19.160 --> 0:01:21.959 like bummed about that. And we're starting to teach her 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:24.039 like just how to be a little more grown, like 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:26.959 a little you know, a little more mature. And it sucks. 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:28.920 It really sucks because I want her to still call 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:31.720 it play dates and that kind of stuff, and it's 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:34.560 all disappearing, and I think she's excited because it's something 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:36.960 new and she's going to see her friends again. I 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:40.760 ended up doing a slightly messy podcast like from that talk, 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:43.640 and so that's up Mojo Mojo in the Morning dot 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:44.759 com if. 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:46.480 You want to listen to that. But it brought up 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:48.080 a lot of feels in my own world. Talk to 0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:50.440 me about it. What did it bring up? 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:55.680 So I moved in fifth grade to Belding. I was 0:01:55.880 --> 0:01:57.800 like going to school in Grand Rapids and moved to 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:00.040 Belding in fifth grade, which was middle school for me 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:01.440 hers is until seventh grade. 0:02:02.240 --> 0:02:05.880 And when I moved there, I we kind. 0:02:05.720 --> 0:02:08.600 Of just threw me in, Like there was no orientation, 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:11.680 There was no advice, There was no nothing, and I 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:13.359 never really I haven't really thought about it my entire 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:16.400 life up until now when we're talking to her and 0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:19.840 I'm like, man, I really wish I really wish somebody 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:22.480 had done this for me. Like I had no idea 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:24.680 what I was doing. I was just thrown in and said, go. 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:27.280 So you didn't have any kids that you knew, Like 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:29.640 there were no neighborhood friends or anything like that. 0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:33.000 That you went to school, No, because I didn't go there, 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:35.920 So I didn't. So all those elementary schools who everybody 0:02:35.960 --> 0:02:40.639 knew everybody, they they were, you know, their friends. Yeah, 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:42.800 And now I didn't know anybody. So I was the 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:46.000 new kid in fifth grade and it was cool, like 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:48.000 like part of it I think about, like I think 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:49.959 it forced me to go out of my comfort zone 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:52.119 and talk to people. And now I'm like really comfortable 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:54.400 like walking up to anybody and talking to them. But 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:56.320 at the enther end of that, I'm seeing her and 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:59.560 what she's going through of like not understanding why recesses 0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:02.760 disappeared and why we can't do you know, certain things 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:05.240 and lunches this and class like none of that I 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:07.720 had any idea or preparation. I was still playing Power 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:11.680 Rangers at that point in fifth grade, and I and yeah, 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:12.480 I don't know. 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:15.639 I just does she Are there any little kid stuff 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:19.680 that that she still enjoys doing that you do not 0:03:19.880 --> 0:03:23.160 want to take have it taken away from her, like 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:26.760 like you know, the whole idea, Like I remember when 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:30.600 I was a kid, I loved playing with my Matchbox cars. 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:33.440 You know, I had like a million Matchbox cars, hot wheels, 0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:37.680 cars and stuff like that. And I remember my brother's 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:40.440 saying to me, as I was going into senior year 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:46.839 high school, Hey, you know, you probably should think about that, 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:48.520 like most of your friends are really driving. 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:50.600 But no, but but I was. 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:52.840 Honestly, I had a little bit of my childhood that 0:03:53.000 --> 0:03:54.760 was I was like the and not. First off, I 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:56.840 looked like I was twenty eight years old when I was, 0:03:57.080 --> 0:04:00.800 you know, five, so you're already kind to look older. 0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:02.640 So it looks weird, like you look like you might 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:04.680 be you know, I don't know, it's having some issues, 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:08.000 but I wonder sometimes I don't want to take that 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:12.200 away from Cecily, that she still loves playing with dolls 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:14.160 or doing things like that, Like I don't want the 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:16.200 kid all of a sudden growing up and you know 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:19.400 now she's you know, trying to be old, too old, 0:04:19.560 --> 0:04:19.760 you know. 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:22.400 Yeah, we went to the orientation. 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:25.119 We went to his eighth grader orientation cause we're taking 0:04:25.120 --> 0:04:27.320 off tonight and going camping up north, so we can't 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:30.080 go to the seventh grade tomorrow. And the difference between 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:32.840 an eighth grader and a seventh grader, because we see 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:36.039 our seventh grader in those eighth graders is wild. They're 0:04:36.080 --> 0:04:39.120 all taller, like a lot taller. They like, they must 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:40.880 change a lot. And I don't remember because I didn't 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:44.920 grow very tall, but they must change. They're like their 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:47.600 clothing is like Cecily is still wearing like dragon t 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:52.400 shirts and still like loves to draw dragons and write 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:55.920 dragon comic books. And we've tried to have a conversation 0:04:56.040 --> 0:04:59.760 of like, don't lose that that spark or that you know, 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:01.359 I don't know, I've been trying to come up with 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:05.080 advice for Zero, but it's. 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.599 Her, that's her, and that's what she likes. 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:11.360 And yeah, it's well, it all changes when you get 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:12.880 a phone for him, you know what I mean, Like 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:13.360 once they. 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:15.240 Get a phone, they all of a sudden turn into 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:15.800 an adult. 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:19.880 Yeah, I think middle school. I mean middle school is definitely. 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:23.360 I think you'll see changes for sure, Like they just 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:25.479 grow up all of a sudden, you blink and you're like, wait, 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:30.799 what in the heck happened? That's that's what my experience 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:34.240 was from from middle school. Because LUs is going to 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:36.000 seventh grade too, But middle school for us started at 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:36.480 sixth grade. 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:37.760 Oh did it really? 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:41.040 What was the biggest change you notice? 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:44.240 I just feel like, like for her too, it was 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:47.839 an entirely new group of friends, and so I felt 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:50.960 like sixth grade and thank goodness, she has a great 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:53.960 group of friends that she met. But I feel like 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:57.000 it was a lot of trying to figure out where 0:05:57.040 --> 0:06:00.320 she fit in and how she fit in. And so 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:02.479 I said this to you, Like, the one thing that 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:05.120 I really tried to drill in her was be Lucy. 0:06:05.600 --> 0:06:07.839 Don't try to change yourself so that you can fit 0:06:07.880 --> 0:06:11.240 in with like this girl or this group of friends. Like, 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:13.520 just be you, and that's how you're going to find 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:19.160 your you know, community of people. But yeah, six middle 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:20.320 school girls, man. 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:22.960 Who That's my biggest fear is like the clicks are 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:25.960 going to start and and we've always just been like 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.400 be kind and do this thing, you know, do the 0:06:28.960 --> 0:06:31.159 be kind to somebody who's maybe sitting by themselves. But 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:33.600 I know, I just have a feeling and I'm a 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:35.800 little nervous about it, like this is just gonna break her, 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:38.760 Like I She's gonna come home one day and something's 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:42.279 gonna happen that she has never had happened to her before, 0:06:42.279 --> 0:06:44.560 because up until this point, everybody's been kind to each other. 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:45.240 Part. 0:06:45.520 --> 0:06:47.280 I got a question to throw out to you and 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:50.200 Shannon because both you guys and keV, because you guys 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:51.600 all have kids the same age. 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:54.320 Which one would be worse. 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:58.159 For you finding out that your kid was the kid 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:02.039 that everybody was picking on or finding out that your 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:04.679 kid was the kid that was picking on everyone? 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:08.280 Yeah, I think so I don't want my kid to 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:13.200 be mean. What do you think, keV? Yeah? 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:15.440 Yeah, absolutely, you don't want you don't want your kid 0:07:15.440 --> 0:07:18.920 to be big doing but I don't know it would 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:22.880 be Absolutely I do not want my kid to be 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:25.840 the one that's being a bully and being disrespectful because 0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:28.600 I think that says a lot more about the type 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:30.400 of parent that you've been and how you've raised your 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:34.840 child or what they've witnessed I shold. 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:36.480 I agree with you. I think it's a reflection on 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:37.160 the parents. 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:39.200 Yeah, but I also want to be the type of 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:41.600 parent where I don't hopefully my child would have stood 0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:43.800 up for themselves in that instance. I mean, even if 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:45.680 they come home and they break down because they feel 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:48.320 safe in front of me, Hopefully I've instilled in them 0:07:48.400 --> 0:07:51.800 the ability to speak up and to not necessarily fight back, 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:54.920 but to show that, you know, they won't tolerate that 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:55.679 type of behavior. 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:59.000 Also, you know, it's weird because I was never like 0:07:59.040 --> 0:07:59.960 sent off to school. 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:01.600 I don't think you guys were either. 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:04.000 Where your parents basically said all right, you're gonna have 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:05.280 kids that are gonna say this to you, or you're 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:10.720 gonna it's all you're You're you're more reactive than you know, uh, proactive, 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:13.760 And I do think like, I don't think I ever 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:16.920 said to my kids like going into any kind of 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:20.120 a level of their lives. If you got a kid 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:23.040 that does this, it's usually they had a kid that 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:25.080 did it, and you say to them, all right, what's 0:08:25.120 --> 0:08:25.560 going on. 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:28.560 I wonder if nowadays. 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:31.280 You have I mean, taking Joe Sigh out of a 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:33.640 predominantly black school and sending them to school with a 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:37.000 bunch of white kids. You gotta have a conversation like, hey, 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:39.640 this might happen. Let me know if this is said 0:08:39.720 --> 0:08:41.160 to you, let me know if you feel like this, 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:43.439 let me know if a teacher DUDEA da da da da, 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:45.679 Like you gotta have them type of conversations. Yeah, in 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:48.360 that particular situation, I just feel it. You know, it's 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:51.240 wild because of I isn't it crazy to that? I 0:08:51.280 --> 0:08:54.760 do not remember like it being as hard as it 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:55.960 is on these kids nowadays. 0:08:56.080 --> 0:08:58.320 Yeah, but I mean there's just so much more to 0:08:58.360 --> 0:09:00.280 it than we dealt with. I will tell you this, Mike. 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:02.920 One thing that like really kind of has blown me away, 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:06.000 I would say over the past like four months is 0:09:06.400 --> 0:09:09.080 luc and I have always been really really really really close, 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:12.200 like attached to the hip. She's my bestie, and I 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:17.520 will say sixth grade kinda like I could feel her 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:22.240 going more towards her like making that separation. Oh, like 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:26.120 her friends are her world, and that is really hard 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:28.960 as a parent. That is really really hard as a parent. 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:31.160 That's yeah, you want. 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:33.319 That right, like you grown independent. 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:35.400 But yeah, it has been a huge shift for me 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:39.280 and not one that I have done well with so. 0:09:39.800 --> 0:09:42.200 We can tell it's starting and we are. We have 0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:44.719 talked about a phone and I don't know, like I 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:46.400 don't want to. I haven't talked to her too much 0:09:46.400 --> 0:09:48.120 about bullies or any of that kind of stuff. I've 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:49.520 just said, I if somebody's not nice to you, what 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:52.440 are you gonna do? And we thought about doing like, hey, 0:09:52.440 --> 0:09:54.199 we're gonna pretend like we're bullying you and see how 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:55.760 she reacts. But I think we're just gonna let her 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:58.240 figure that part out because I felt like I didn't 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:00.880 get to talk about that either. And I you know, 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:02.840 I maybe had a couple bullies here and there, but 0:10:02.880 --> 0:10:05.000 I was just like, that's where I created like humor. 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:07.040 That's how I learned. Like I don't think you I 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:09.040 don't think you can prepare somebody to be bullied. I 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:11.040 think you can talk to them and give them, you know, 0:10:11.160 --> 0:10:12.320 this is what you should do if they say this, 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:13.520 if there's specific things. 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:15.360 But I think we just got to let her figure 0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:16.040 it out at that point. 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:18.319 Your hope is that you guys have such good dialogue 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:20.720 with each other that she would say something to you 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:22.680 or you would notice it, you know, before it goes 0:10:22.720 --> 0:10:25.679 too far but Jessica wants to make a comment about Cecily. 0:10:25.720 --> 0:10:28.840 Would you want to say, just have her. 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:32.560 Join as much like after school clubs or activities. That's 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:36.199 how my daughter got her group of friends who are 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:39.480 absolutely amazing. And she was like in the art stuff, 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:42.400 drawing stuff too. So just have her join as much 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:45.640 as possible, all different kinds of activities and she'll find 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:49.720 multiple friend groups and hopefully we'll be able to just 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:51.439 intermingle with everyone and not. 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:53.360 Really have that bully. 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:56.720 She's a She's a pretty active kid, isn't she might? 0:10:56.840 --> 0:10:58.520 She likes to do a lot of stuff. 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:01.000 Very personable, very Uh, yeah, we do. 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:03.480 We're trying in that era of still trying out things 0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:05.600 like volleyball, and we've tried out a bunch of different things, 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:06.480 so we're trying out stuff. 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:08.880 Hey, Stacy, what's up? It's moje in the morning, and say. 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:12.000 Hey to Mike, Hey, Michael, are you. 0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:13.280 Good, Stacy? How are you? 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:18.320 I'm wonderful, sir. I'm gonna speak on both ends of 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:21.240 the spectrum on this one because my oldest was a 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:26.880 bully and my youngest was bullied. So the best I 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:30.480 can say and advice I can offer is number one 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:35.360 open communication all the time, but maybe find are a 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:40.960 mentor outside of you and your wife, somebody that's going 0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:45.880 to teach her how to conduct herself in different manners. 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:49.520 Because I have this theory, it's called the same voice theory. 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:52.800 Your child will not listen to you, and somebody can 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:57.280 say for batim what you have told them and they'll listen. 0:11:58.080 --> 0:12:03.720 So getting somebody else's voice involved is detrimental. My children, 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:07.720 they're adults now. But if I would have had somebody 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:11.720 to mentor my son, especially, I think that he would 0:12:11.720 --> 0:12:15.720 have gone a different path in life. He's a good kid, 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:17.720 don't get me wrong. He's a hard worker, he's a 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:21.320 great dad. But I think that if he would have 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:25.040 had a strong male mentor in his life, he wouldn't 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:28.559 have felt the need to bully other people. And then 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:32.400 my daughter, she was just once she hit middle school, 0:12:32.400 --> 0:12:35.560 it was a nightmare. And it was hers was during COVID, 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:39.480 so it was a whole, a whole thing. But she 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.000 went back to public school and I ended up pulling 0:12:42.000 --> 0:12:45.080 her out, putting her into private school because just I 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.240 saw her life going in a whole direction. 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:49.560 That I was not prepared for doing better. 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:54.320 Oh she you she graduated, she's looking into going into 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:57.320 the trades. She is the one who stood up for 0:12:57.360 --> 0:12:59.960 the kids that were bullied. Even though she was bullied. 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:05.520 There was no kid ever left behind with her and 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:09.440 she challenged people that were much bigger than her when 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:12.880 they saw when when she saw somebody else being bullied. 0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:14.920 In an interesting you can have two kids that are 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:18.240 totally different and you raise them in the same way. 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:20.520 I love the same voice things to you, but maybe 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:21.960 I got to get her into karate. 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:25.800 And the funny how parents will throw their kids in 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:28.280 jiu jitsu or karate or something like that. 0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:32.720 What's up, Dana, How you doing, I'm. 0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:35.160 Doing good, Good morning. I was just gonna say, like, 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:37.600 when you guys were talking about would you rather have 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:40.960 your child be the one that's bullied or be a bully? 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:44.960 And I think that it's probably easier to talk to 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:49.240 your child and stop them from bullying then to give 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:52.920 your child that confidence to get out there and start 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:54.000 those friendships. 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:56.200 And that's a total perspective. 0:13:57.360 --> 0:14:00.640 Yeah, yeah, no, you're you're right in some kids never 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:03.880 get over that that they've been bullied no matter what 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:04.280 you do. 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:07.240 That's a wow, great comment. Vicky. What's up? 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:10.080 Hey, how's it going good? 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:10.719 What's going on? 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:11.880 Oh? 0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:13.599 Nothing. I just wanted to let Mike know. One of 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:16.720 the biggest things is try not to ask, no matter 0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:18.760 how much you want to, try not to ask so 0:14:18.760 --> 0:14:20.840 many questions of like, hey, how was your day? Did 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:23.400 you have a good launch? Did you And when something 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:25.720 comes up, just listen. 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:30.160 Oh my god, yes and yes, yes, okay, try not 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:30.960 to say anything. 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:33.320 But if they say something about oh, so and so 0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:35.400 did this and you don't hear anything for a few days, 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:37.640 be like, oh my gosh, what happened with so and so? 0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:43.640 You never told me all that the best advice Okay. 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:44.840 Yep, did that with our daughter, and then she brought 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:49.240 home the troubles and issues to us and just kept 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:53.360 like the generic like politeness with other people at school, 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:54.640 and then came home and was. 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:58.680 Like, man, and will you became the safe excuse me, 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:03.080 the safe space. So and uh, we're through college and 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:05.000 she's pretty well adjusted for that. 0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:07.640 And Mike, wear clothes in the pickup line when you're 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:09.680 picking her up from school like makes me go shirtless, 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:11.720 like actually yeah, with. 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:16.120 A with a can of Red Bull in your hands. Well, 0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:17.360 I just wanted to get confident enough. 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:19.280 So I can show up and start singing outside of 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:21.040 the song and embarrass her, Like I just need her 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:22.840 to get that confident so I can start embarrassing her 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:23.320 at school. 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:23.720 Yeah. 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:26.480 Kids, When kids stop giving kisses to you at the 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:28.480 pickup line, that's when you know your kid's grown up.