WEBVTT - Jenna Ghosted Riley Over Coffee

0:00:00.000 --> 0:00:01.920
<v Speaker 1>For variety from the two thousand, it's the nineties and

0:00:01.960 --> 0:00:04.200
<v Speaker 1>today it's Star one on one three hits Marcus back

0:00:04.240 --> 0:00:06.160
<v Speaker 1>with second Date update if you've never heard it, if

0:00:06.160 --> 0:00:08.560
<v Speaker 1>you're brand new. So what happens is you go on

0:00:08.560 --> 0:00:10.760
<v Speaker 1>a first date you get ghosted on. We will call

0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:14.400
<v Speaker 1>your date on your behalf the service we provide, try

0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:16.680
<v Speaker 1>to figure out if you did something wrong, or if

0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:18.480
<v Speaker 1>they're just been busy, or what the deal is, and

0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:20.400
<v Speaker 1>ultimately try to get you a second date. It's how

0:00:20.400 --> 0:00:22.919
<v Speaker 1>we do it. So let's say good morning to Riley.

0:00:23.239 --> 0:00:26.279
<v Speaker 1>I'm here, good morning, excellent. So I want to talk

0:00:26.320 --> 0:00:28.840
<v Speaker 1>about your date with Jenna. I want to talk about

0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:30.640
<v Speaker 1>like a how you guys met, and then let's just

0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:32.280
<v Speaker 1>run through. Typically what we do is I have you

0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:33.760
<v Speaker 1>run through what you did on the first date, and

0:00:33.800 --> 0:00:35.239
<v Speaker 1>then we'll try to figure it all out because I

0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:37.360
<v Speaker 1>understand she's ghosted, but what can you tell me?

0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:41.640
<v Speaker 2>Well, we met online and after you know, a couple

0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:44.120
<v Speaker 2>of weeks of back and forth messaging, we decided that

0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:47.080
<v Speaker 2>we were going to grab coffee and like walk around Berkeley, Okay,

0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:51.320
<v Speaker 2>And I mean she was funny, thoughtful, she had book

0:00:51.360 --> 0:00:54.160
<v Speaker 2>recommendations for just about every topic I could think of,

0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:57.760
<v Speaker 2>Like we talked about street art, we talked about our

0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:01.080
<v Speaker 2>worst jobs, we talked about local sandwich spot, like you know,

0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:06.720
<v Speaker 2>like just I was gonna say the hard hitting journalism. Yeah,

0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:09.000
<v Speaker 2>and then like you know, we went out for copy.

0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:11.720
<v Speaker 2>We had a great time. And then she hasn't called

0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:14.640
<v Speaker 2>me here, texted me back, And I'm just kind of

0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:16.479
<v Speaker 2>getting ghosted here, And I don't know why.

0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:18.520
<v Speaker 1>How many times have you replayed the date in your head?

0:01:18.560 --> 0:01:22.440
<v Speaker 1>Be honest, a handful something.

0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:23.800
<v Speaker 2>I can't think of anything.

0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:25.840
<v Speaker 1>You're not as obsessive as I am. Then I get it,

0:01:25.840 --> 0:01:28.440
<v Speaker 1>all right, I'll tell you what. I'm gonna call her.

0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:30.039
<v Speaker 1>We're gonna try to figure this out. I've got my

0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:33.200
<v Speaker 1>guy Riley on the phone. This feels pretty cut and dry.

0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:35.360
<v Speaker 1>It feels pretty simple. So you and Jenna just went.

0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:38.120
<v Speaker 2>For coffee, went for coffee and then walked around Berkley

0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:40.559
<v Speaker 2>and it felt right like that, it felt great.

0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:44.679
<v Speaker 1>The weirdness. No, Okay, let's call her. Then go ahead

0:01:44.720 --> 0:01:46.119
<v Speaker 1>and meet your phone. I'm gonna give her a shout

0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:48.040
<v Speaker 1>and see if we can't salvage this, get you a

0:01:48.040 --> 0:02:00.280
<v Speaker 1>second date. Okay, here we go, good day. This is Jenna, Well,

0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:03.640
<v Speaker 1>good day. I have never had anybody answer the phone.

0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:06.880
<v Speaker 1>Good day, Sorry, Jenna, It's Marcus calling from Star one

0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:08.400
<v Speaker 1>one three. Good morning, good day.

0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:10.959
<v Speaker 3>Hello. How are you from the radio?

0:02:11.120 --> 0:02:13.560
<v Speaker 1>Yes, from from Star one on one three from the

0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:18.040
<v Speaker 1>morning show. Do you listen? Yeah? I do, excellent, welcome.

0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:20.200
<v Speaker 1>Do you have a moment to be on the show

0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:20.400
<v Speaker 1>with me?

0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:25.000
<v Speaker 3>Depends on what you're calling for.

0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:27.040
<v Speaker 1>So it's second date update time?

0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:31.280
<v Speaker 3>Oh no am I? Okay?

0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:36.480
<v Speaker 2>All right, okay, okay, are doing this.

0:02:37.040 --> 0:02:39.720
<v Speaker 3>To second date update? I did not think I was

0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:41.160
<v Speaker 3>going to end up on it, but here we are.

0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:42.320
<v Speaker 1>Why don't you be the star?

0:02:42.760 --> 0:02:42.840
<v Speaker 3>So?

0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:44.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, have you been on a date recently that you

0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:46.200
<v Speaker 1>may or may not have ghosted on?

0:02:46.639 --> 0:02:47.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Okay, I think so.

0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:51.320
<v Speaker 1>I mean yeah, so we've got Riley on the phone.

0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:55.119
<v Speaker 1>I figured, yeah, Riley, are you there?

0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:56.200
<v Speaker 3>I'm here?

0:02:56.639 --> 0:02:59.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So, Jenna, he said he had a great time.

0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:02.600
<v Speaker 1>He liked you a lot, I wrote down, funny, thoughtful,

0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:06.000
<v Speaker 1>enjoyed your conversation. So if you ghosted, can you tell

0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:07.800
<v Speaker 1>us why did he do something?

0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:13.480
<v Speaker 3>It wasn't really something he did. I mean, I think

0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:15.760
<v Speaker 3>he's nice. I think he's a nice person, but he

0:03:15.880 --> 0:03:19.120
<v Speaker 3>was intense in the strangest way I've ever encountered, and

0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:21.480
<v Speaker 3>it made me really uncomfortable. I didn't really know what

0:03:21.520 --> 0:03:22.079
<v Speaker 3>to do with it.

0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:25.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I got to ask the question, did you feel unsafe?

0:03:25.760 --> 0:03:29.160
<v Speaker 3>No, No, it wasn't like that. I just like, I've

0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:34.080
<v Speaker 3>never really encountered a person like this. Like he kept

0:03:34.160 --> 0:03:37.160
<v Speaker 3>pausing while we were walking around to write things down

0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:41.360
<v Speaker 3>in this tiny, like pocket sized notebook, and it wasn't discreet.

0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:43.280
<v Speaker 3>It wasn't like, oh, every once in a while he'd like,

0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:45.520
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I don't even know how you would discreetly

0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:48.040
<v Speaker 3>drott in a notebook, but like he was so weird

0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:50.160
<v Speaker 3>and obvious about it. He'd like pause walking for a

0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:53.040
<v Speaker 3>sec and write something down. It was like like like

0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:56.040
<v Speaker 3>therapy note taking, you know what I mean. I felt

0:03:56.080 --> 0:04:00.800
<v Speaker 3>like I was being scrutinized me. What was I don't know.

0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:05.120
<v Speaker 3>We talked about a lot of different things, which initially

0:04:05.160 --> 0:04:07.760
<v Speaker 3>I really liked that he seemed able to talk about

0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:10.240
<v Speaker 3>a lot of different stuff, but then he'd like hyper

0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:14.960
<v Speaker 3>fixate on these weird things like Okay, like at one

0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:17.040
<v Speaker 3>point I was talking to him about my plants and

0:04:17.040 --> 0:04:19.159
<v Speaker 3>how I feel like I'm a plant killer because I

0:04:19.200 --> 0:04:24.480
<v Speaker 3>can't keep anything alive. Sure, And he started like interrogating

0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:27.960
<v Speaker 3>me about the soil. He was like asking me where

0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:31.200
<v Speaker 3>I sourced the soil for my plants, insane that it

0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:34.080
<v Speaker 3>might be a pH balance thing. And he launches into

0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:38.000
<v Speaker 3>this like five minute lecture talking at me about the

0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:40.600
<v Speaker 3>pH balance of my soil. And he's like, Oh, if

0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:42.919
<v Speaker 3>it's too acidic, that could be causing the leaves to

0:04:43.000 --> 0:04:45.320
<v Speaker 3>turn yellow. And he was like, you know, oh, do

0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:47.960
<v Speaker 3>you think it could be root raw that's too much moisture.

0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:50.200
<v Speaker 3>Otherwise it could be a too acidic of a soil.

0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:52.720
<v Speaker 3>And I'm just like, I don't know. It didn't feel

0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:55.160
<v Speaker 3>like I was having a conversation with him. I felt

0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:58.359
<v Speaker 3>like I was being mansplained at, like it's not that

0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:00.520
<v Speaker 3>serious and that, you know, I probably would have been

0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:02.760
<v Speaker 3>interested if he had talked to me about it differently,

0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:04.440
<v Speaker 3>but I felt like he was lecturing me.

0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:05.320
<v Speaker 1>Got it.

0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:08.599
<v Speaker 4>I like to write things down because I like to

0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:11.160
<v Speaker 4>make sure that I remember them. And I mean, I

0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:13.800
<v Speaker 4>wasn't trying to make you feel like you're being lectured

0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:16.240
<v Speaker 4>or man's plained or anything like that, Like I was

0:05:16.360 --> 0:05:18.599
<v Speaker 4>genuinely like trying to help. I was like Oh, this

0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:20.440
<v Speaker 4>is the thing I know about, and you're having in

0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:23.800
<v Speaker 4>trouble with these plans, and so here are ways that

0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:25.200
<v Speaker 4>I know that I can help.

0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:28.800
<v Speaker 3>Sure, Okay, but I think it's really important for you

0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:31.919
<v Speaker 3>to read the social cues, especially when you're in a

0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:34.880
<v Speaker 3>really early stages thing with somebody like this was our

0:05:34.880 --> 0:05:37.760
<v Speaker 3>first date, and I felt like I was being interviewed

0:05:37.800 --> 0:05:40.720
<v Speaker 3>for a scholarship. I felt like, you know, I felt

0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:43.000
<v Speaker 3>like I was sitting across a desk from somebody. And

0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:45.040
<v Speaker 3>that's not the experience I'm trying to have when I'm

0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:45.560
<v Speaker 3>on a date.

0:05:46.960 --> 0:05:49.000
<v Speaker 2>That wasn't the intention. I was trying to make sure

0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:51.080
<v Speaker 2>that you knew that I was listening to what you

0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:52.279
<v Speaker 2>were saying, and I was trying to show you that

0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:54.000
<v Speaker 2>I was being attentive and helpful.

0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:55.479
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't trying to talk at you.

0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:57.680
<v Speaker 3>Okay, well, even right now, I feel like you're kind

0:05:57.680 --> 0:06:00.200
<v Speaker 3>of talking at me. You're not saying, wow, I'm sorry,

0:06:00.200 --> 0:06:02.839
<v Speaker 3>thank you all. Take the feedback you're explaining and over

0:06:02.920 --> 0:06:06.080
<v Speaker 3>explaining and lecturing me about what your intentions were, as

0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:08.599
<v Speaker 3>opposed to taking the feedback that I'm giving you that

0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:10.800
<v Speaker 3>you brought me on the radio to give you you guys.

0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:13.679
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if this is going to work out. Jenna,

0:06:13.760 --> 0:06:14.600
<v Speaker 1>No second date on.

0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:17.880
<v Speaker 3>This right, No thank you, thanks, but no sure all right?

0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:20.120
<v Speaker 1>Hang on, I don't even know where to go from here.

0:06:20.720 --> 0:06:23.400
<v Speaker 1>Second date update. Obviously it doesn't always work out.