1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,920 Speaker 1: For variety from the two thousand, it's the nineties and 2 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,200 Speaker 1: today it's Star one on one three hits Marcus back 3 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:06,160 Speaker 1: with second Date update if you've never heard it, if 4 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:08,560 Speaker 1: you're brand new. So what happens is you go on 5 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 1: a first date you get ghosted on. We will call 6 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: your date on your behalf the service we provide, try 7 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 1: to figure out if you did something wrong, or if 8 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,480 Speaker 1: they're just been busy, or what the deal is, and 9 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: ultimately try to get you a second date. It's how 10 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,919 Speaker 1: we do it. So let's say good morning to Riley. 11 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:26,279 Speaker 1: I'm here, good morning, excellent. So I want to talk 12 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: about your date with Jenna. I want to talk about 13 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:30,640 Speaker 1: like a how you guys met, and then let's just 14 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 1: run through. Typically what we do is I have you 15 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: run through what you did on the first date, and 16 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,239 Speaker 1: then we'll try to figure it all out because I 17 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 1: understand she's ghosted, but what can you tell me? 18 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 2: Well, we met online and after you know, a couple 19 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 2: of weeks of back and forth messaging, we decided that 20 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 2: we were going to grab coffee and like walk around Berkeley, Okay, 21 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 2: And I mean she was funny, thoughtful, she had book 22 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 2: recommendations for just about every topic I could think of, 23 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 2: Like we talked about street art, we talked about our 24 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 2: worst jobs, we talked about local sandwich spot, like you know, 25 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 2: like just I was gonna say the hard hitting journalism. Yeah, 26 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 2: and then like you know, we went out for copy. 27 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 2: We had a great time. And then she hasn't called 28 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 2: me here, texted me back, And I'm just kind of 29 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,479 Speaker 2: getting ghosted here, And I don't know why. 30 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: How many times have you replayed the date in your head? 31 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: Be honest, a handful something. 32 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 2: I can't think of anything. 33 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 1: You're not as obsessive as I am. Then I get it, 34 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 1: all right, I'll tell you what. I'm gonna call her. 35 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,039 Speaker 1: We're gonna try to figure this out. I've got my 36 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: guy Riley on the phone. This feels pretty cut and dry. 37 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,360 Speaker 1: It feels pretty simple. So you and Jenna just went. 38 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,120 Speaker 2: For coffee, went for coffee and then walked around Berkley 39 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,559 Speaker 2: and it felt right like that, it felt great. 40 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:44,679 Speaker 1: The weirdness. No, Okay, let's call her. Then go ahead 41 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,119 Speaker 1: and meet your phone. I'm gonna give her a shout 42 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: and see if we can't salvage this, get you a 43 00:01:48,040 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 1: second date. Okay, here we go, good day. This is Jenna, Well, 44 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 1: good day. I have never had anybody answer the phone. 45 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 1: Good day, Sorry, Jenna, It's Marcus calling from Star one 46 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: one three. Good morning, good day. 47 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,959 Speaker 3: Hello. How are you from the radio? 48 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 1: Yes, from from Star one on one three from the 49 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 1: morning show. Do you listen? Yeah? I do, excellent, welcome. 50 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: Do you have a moment to be on the show 51 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 1: with me? 52 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 3: Depends on what you're calling for. 53 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: So it's second date update time? 54 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 3: Oh no am I? Okay? 55 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 2: All right, okay, okay, are doing this. 56 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 3: To second date update? I did not think I was 57 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 3: going to end up on it, but here we are. 58 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 1: Why don't you be the star? 59 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 3: So? 60 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 1: Okay, have you been on a date recently that you 61 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: may or may not have ghosted on? 62 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:47,920 Speaker 3: Yeah? Okay, I think so. 63 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: I mean yeah, so we've got Riley on the phone. 64 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,119 Speaker 1: I figured, yeah, Riley, are you there? 65 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 3: I'm here? 66 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:59,240 Speaker 1: Okay, So, Jenna, he said he had a great time. 67 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 1: He liked you a lot, I wrote down, funny, thoughtful, 68 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 1: enjoyed your conversation. So if you ghosted, can you tell 69 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: us why did he do something? 70 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 3: It wasn't really something he did. I mean, I think 71 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 3: he's nice. I think he's a nice person, but he 72 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:19,120 Speaker 3: was intense in the strangest way I've ever encountered, and 73 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 3: it made me really uncomfortable. I didn't really know what 74 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:22,079 Speaker 3: to do with it. 75 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,240 Speaker 1: Okay, I got to ask the question, did you feel unsafe? 76 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 3: No, No, it wasn't like that. I just like, I've 77 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:34,080 Speaker 3: never really encountered a person like this. Like he kept 78 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 3: pausing while we were walking around to write things down 79 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 3: in this tiny, like pocket sized notebook, and it wasn't discreet. 80 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 3: It wasn't like, oh, every once in a while he'd like, 81 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't even know how you would discreetly 82 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 3: drott in a notebook, but like he was so weird 83 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 3: and obvious about it. He'd like pause walking for a 84 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 3: sec and write something down. It was like like like 85 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 3: therapy note taking, you know what I mean. I felt 86 00:03:56,080 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 3: like I was being scrutinized me. What was I don't know. 87 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 3: We talked about a lot of different things, which initially 88 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 3: I really liked that he seemed able to talk about 89 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 3: a lot of different stuff, but then he'd like hyper 90 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 3: fixate on these weird things like Okay, like at one 91 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,040 Speaker 3: point I was talking to him about my plants and 92 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,159 Speaker 3: how I feel like I'm a plant killer because I 93 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:24,480 Speaker 3: can't keep anything alive. Sure, And he started like interrogating 94 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 3: me about the soil. He was like asking me where 95 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 3: I sourced the soil for my plants, insane that it 96 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 3: might be a pH balance thing. And he launches into 97 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 3: this like five minute lecture talking at me about the 98 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,600 Speaker 3: pH balance of my soil. And he's like, Oh, if 99 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,919 Speaker 3: it's too acidic, that could be causing the leaves to 100 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 3: turn yellow. And he was like, you know, oh, do 101 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,960 Speaker 3: you think it could be root raw that's too much moisture. 102 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 3: Otherwise it could be a too acidic of a soil. 103 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,720 Speaker 3: And I'm just like, I don't know. It didn't feel 104 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,160 Speaker 3: like I was having a conversation with him. I felt 105 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,359 Speaker 3: like I was being mansplained at, like it's not that 106 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 3: serious and that, you know, I probably would have been 107 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,760 Speaker 3: interested if he had talked to me about it differently, 108 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 3: but I felt like he was lecturing me. 109 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 1: Got it. 110 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 4: I like to write things down because I like to 111 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 4: make sure that I remember them. And I mean, I 112 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 4: wasn't trying to make you feel like you're being lectured 113 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 4: or man's plained or anything like that, Like I was 114 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 4: genuinely like trying to help. I was like Oh, this 115 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 4: is the thing I know about, and you're having in 116 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 4: trouble with these plans, and so here are ways that 117 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 4: I know that I can help. 118 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 3: Sure, Okay, but I think it's really important for you 119 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:31,919 Speaker 3: to read the social cues, especially when you're in a 120 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 3: really early stages thing with somebody like this was our 121 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 3: first date, and I felt like I was being interviewed 122 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 3: for a scholarship. I felt like, you know, I felt 123 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 3: like I was sitting across a desk from somebody. And 124 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,040 Speaker 3: that's not the experience I'm trying to have when I'm 125 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 3: on a date. 126 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 2: That wasn't the intention. I was trying to make sure 127 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 2: that you knew that I was listening to what you 128 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,279 Speaker 2: were saying, and I was trying to show you that 129 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 2: I was being attentive and helpful. 130 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,479 Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to talk at you. 131 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 3: Okay, well, even right now, I feel like you're kind 132 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 3: of talking at me. You're not saying, wow, I'm sorry, 133 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 3: thank you all. Take the feedback you're explaining and over 134 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 3: explaining and lecturing me about what your intentions were, as 135 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,599 Speaker 3: opposed to taking the feedback that I'm giving you that 136 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:10,800 Speaker 3: you brought me on the radio to give you you guys. 137 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,679 Speaker 1: I don't know if this is going to work out. Jenna, 138 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:14,600 Speaker 1: No second date on. 139 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 3: This right, No thank you, thanks, but no sure all right? 140 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 1: Hang on, I don't even know where to go from here. 141 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: Second date update. Obviously it doesn't always work out.