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Speaker 1: And now the show is happy to bring you. I'm pissed.

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Speaker 1: Have some respectors. Midweek melt down.

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Speaker 2: Week melt down, all right, Every Wednesday he lets lose

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Speaker 2: some whatever is bothering him that week. You know, usually

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Speaker 2: he takes on you know, corporate America or the government

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Speaker 2: or his wife, whatever is annoying him. So yeah, I know,

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Speaker 2: so what do we got this week?

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Speaker 1: This one?

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Speaker 3: I didn't plan it like this. Uh it's stand up here,

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Speaker 3: be sure. By the way, what do you think got it? For?

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Speaker 3: Got it for three bucks? That old baby Okay, really

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Speaker 3: looks it looks like it. It does not look like

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Speaker 3: it does not look like Target special.

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Speaker 2: Old Yeah, yeahs.

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Speaker 1: Old was three dollars guys. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: All right, So anyway, this won't be in the rotation.

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Speaker 3: I just, you know, try to wear nicer I try

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Speaker 3: to wear newer shirts on Wednesdays. Anyway, I didn't plan

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Speaker 3: this out. It just happened the way it happens. And uh,

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Speaker 3: it is what it is. And I'm not directing this

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Speaker 3: to anyone in particular, but today is a great day

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Speaker 3: and the day that also kind of screws me, what

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Speaker 3: because not only is today Eddie's birthday, today's also my

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Speaker 3: sister's birthday.

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Speaker 2: I with the meltown and what does that you?

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Speaker 1: What does that mean? Double presence?

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Speaker 3: Okay, I mean, so let me just say this, not

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Speaker 3: a minute. At what point are we done.

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Speaker 1: Given birthday presents? People?

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Speaker 2: Excuse me?

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Speaker 3: At what point are we done with this? And I

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Speaker 3: did some research. I'm like, when did birthday presence start?

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Speaker 3: Why did birthday present start? Why do we need birthday present?

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Speaker 4: Sorry Eddie my birthday.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sorry. I was sorry your birthday. It's

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Speaker 3: about everyone's birthday. It's about birthday divas. It's too I'm

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Speaker 3: looking out right. Eddie Sky's like a month on Diva

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Speaker 3: and Emily's Emily is the lesser, She's the week long.

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Speaker 1: Deah, which is which is awful.

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Speaker 3: You got Eddie who's not a birthday d He's kind

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Speaker 3: of hum about his birthday. But at the end of

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Speaker 3: the day, you still gotta get gifts. So I decided

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Speaker 3: to say, I decided to do some research on birthday gifts.

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Speaker 3: Birthday gifts, check this out. Originated in ancient Rome and

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Speaker 3: they were given by people to ward off evil spirits

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Speaker 3: and bring good luck. And I start thinking about that. Okay,

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Speaker 3: if that's what they want to do back then. But

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Speaker 3: why are we still carrying on this dumb tradition traditional

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Speaker 3: birthday gifts. It's even worse than a birthday gift, a

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Speaker 3: birthday card.

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Speaker 1: How stupid is a birthday card?

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Speaker 2: Say something?

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Speaker 1: You the gift? You know it's from me.

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Speaker 3: I'm saying happy birthday, This is from us.

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Speaker 1: That's the nice thing.

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Speaker 2: Emily prefers the nice sentiment in the car than the

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Speaker 2: actual gift.

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Speaker 1: No offense. But that's really dumb. You could write it

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Speaker 1: on a piece of paper, but it's the message that counts.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Cards started in the eighteen sixties.

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Speaker 2: Wait, how do you know that?

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Speaker 3: And then got mass produced in the nineteen twenties. So

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Speaker 3: thank you to the Industrial Age of America for screwing

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Speaker 3: me out of five ninety nine extra a year for

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Speaker 3: Mike gid Up.

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Speaker 1: Let me just say this.

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Speaker 3: Do we still do other weird things that they used

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Speaker 3: to do back in the day, Like back in like

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Speaker 3: the eighteen hundreds and early nine hundreds, men would sell

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Speaker 3: women at auction.

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Speaker 1: Do we still do that? No, because we've evolved. It's

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Speaker 1: a society. Do we still have gunfights at the Okay Corral? No?

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Speaker 3: Because we'll evolve as a society. So why do I

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Speaker 3: still need to wrap a gift and give it to you?

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Speaker 3: It's so stupid.

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Speaker 2: I don't appreciate you starting this whole thing off by

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Speaker 2: saying this is nobody in particular. It's my birthday today.

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Speaker 1: It just Wednesday.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to be attacking people's birthdays on.

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Speaker 4: My birthday until next week.

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Speaker 1: What are we celebrating.

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Speaker 3: Here that your mom and dad had sex and nine

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Speaker 3: months later?

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Speaker 1: Okay, we're celebrating that. And let's be real. Most people

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Speaker 1: were born by accident.

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Speaker 3: So I'm supposed to buy you a gift and for

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Speaker 3: something that wasn't even supposed to happen in this economy.

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Speaker 1: No thing. Okay, it's too expensive.

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Speaker 3: There's too much stress because sky the stress of did

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Speaker 3: I buy him that already? Did I get him that shirt?

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Speaker 1: What do I do?

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Speaker 2: Don't remember?

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Speaker 3: What does my sister want? I don't know what to

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Speaker 3: do now it's coming? Is it going to get delivered

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Speaker 3: on time? I don't need that stress. I don't want

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Speaker 3: that stress. Do you want that stress?

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Speaker 4: Forget the wrapping stress? The wrapping stress. Did I give

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Speaker 4: me this gift bag and I'm now giving it to him? Yes?

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Speaker 4: I did have that thought this morning, so.

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Speaker 2: Well, to take better care of your things.

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Speaker 3: I just don't know where did I get The reason

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Speaker 3: why birthdays get so out of control is because kids

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Speaker 3: nowadays get spoiled, and our society is soft, so kids

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Speaker 3: get spoiled too many gifts.

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Speaker 2: So then you're not going to be spoiling your son Walker, No.

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Speaker 1: I will, but I'm pretty gives them a.

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Speaker 2: Fresh hotel every time.

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Speaker 3: I mean, he was a month old and it was

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Speaker 3: cold in our house. Okay, I am doing this. I'm

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Speaker 3: then your rule, and I think society should implement this rule.

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Speaker 3: Maybe maybe the president, because he'll stop tweeting for a

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Speaker 3: second and implement this rule.

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Speaker 4: Or maybe he'll tweet about this rule.

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Speaker 3: That would be great too. I think that at eighteen,

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Speaker 3: no more gifts. Once you turn eighteen, no more gifts.

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Speaker 3: Gifts are for kids only, and that's it. You can

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Speaker 3: vote at eighteen, but no more gifts. What so you're

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Speaker 3: saying for your birthday next year?

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Speaker 2: Nothing? You know? One?

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Speaker 3: You know, I get liking getting gifts, but to me,

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Speaker 3: gifts or whatever gives her whatever? Do we never know

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Speaker 3: what I want. I could do with it, I could

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Speaker 3: do without it. I don't care.

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Speaker 2: You don't want anything.

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Speaker 1: I've just held. I've just held too much stress, too

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Speaker 1: much pressure. It never ends.

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Speaker 3: And I feel like we're making we have birthday divas

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Speaker 3: left and right every my birthday, my birthdays.

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Speaker 2: Here's the problem is that you have issues with birthdays

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Speaker 2: because yours unfortunately falls on another holiday.

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Speaker 1: What do I get? Do I get to come and

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Speaker 1: studio on December thirty.

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Speaker 3: First, a happy birthday with balloons and stream when we

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Speaker 3: can do back when we come back usually on like

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Speaker 3: the third or the fourth of January. Emily doesn't get

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Speaker 3: here early and put up happy birthday signs for me,

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Speaker 3: he said. I don't see that happening. No one, no

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Speaker 3: one to us.

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Speaker 1: That's for me.

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Speaker 2: Birthday past.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's why I mean.

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Speaker 1: A birthday passed. Everybody's minds too. It sucks, It sucks.

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Speaker 1: It's not right.

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Speaker 3: I don't get my microphone looking terrible, streamers on it, terrible, terrible.

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Speaker 3: I just think as a society, it's time to change.

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Speaker 3: We don't still do things we did in the twenties.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well we're kind of a reverting back.

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Speaker 3: Well in this economy, I feel like a good handshake,

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Speaker 3: happy birthday.

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Speaker 2: You would never shake my hand. Yeah, yeah, happy birthday.

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Speaker 2: Fist bump. I'm not fist, but you have it's your birthday.

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Speaker 2: I don't want it.

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Speaker 4: That's his gift of.

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Speaker 2: Saying, man, well, this was really a rude melt down

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Speaker 2: my birthday.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, Eddie. I did not think it through with the

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Speaker 1: fact that.

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Speaker 2: One million you started up by saying you get doublely

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Speaker 2: screwed because your sister's birthday falls on my birthday as well,

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Speaker 2: and so you're talking about it on my birthday.

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Speaker 1: It just happened.

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Speaker 3: I wish, I wish that would have fell a day after,

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Speaker 3: a day before your birthday, not on the birthday.

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Speaker 2: But but it's still messed up. You don't you don't

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Speaker 2: have to get me something.

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Speaker 1: I was glad to get you something.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, try to scrambling, scrambled, scrambled. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what to get him. I'm going through so much. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what to get.

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Speaker 2: This was really jacked up.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, idiot.

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Speaker 5: Feel bad my birthday, Yeah, you feel bad, but it's

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Speaker 5: not everybody. Oh totally on my birthday. Sorry, thank you.

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Speaker 5: I was dedicated to you on your birthday. Could have

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Speaker 5: got me that side felt sure for me.

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Speaker 1: You know, they had these

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Speaker 3: Th