Speaker 1: Massage faux pause is It's listed on our sheet hair
Speaker 1: as massage faux pas. And it's funny because I did
Speaker 1: not know how to spell faux pas until I saw
Speaker 1: it on the sheet. I always thought that faux pa
Speaker 1: was f o P.
Speaker 2: It was f a u x f a u x
Speaker 2: p a S. So what what is this about? Shannon?
Speaker 3: So I a girlfriend of mine own uh like a
Speaker 3: new medspa spa and it's on a medspots spot and
Speaker 3: she invited me to get a Have you ever had
Speaker 3: a not just a normal massage, but a lymphatic drainage.
Speaker 2: Massage on social therapy? Absolutely amazing.
Speaker 3: They're not necessarily like you go in too relax, like
Speaker 3: it's to get your lymphatic system going. It's it's like
Speaker 3: a very specialized type of thing. And I like that
Speaker 3: kind of like wellness stuff. I'm kind of into that
Speaker 3: right now. So I show up this beautiful spa and
Speaker 3: the massage therapist was really sweet and she you know,
Speaker 3: brought me into the room as a standard and she's like, okay,
Speaker 3: you can get you know, take your clothes off, and
Speaker 3: she's like, I normally just leave on my underwear. If
Speaker 3: I ever get a massage. That's what makes me feel
Speaker 3: the most comfortable. But she handed me two little pouches
Speaker 3: and she's like, please put these on as your undergarments,
Speaker 3: because I guess she was going to use some like
Speaker 3: she was gonna do cupping and all these other things,
Speaker 3: so she needed very specific.
Speaker 2: Pouches, explained with that.
Speaker 3: So they were like little plastic pouches. And once I
Speaker 3: opened them, what it was. It looked to me like
Speaker 3: thin like face masks from the pandemic is what it
Speaker 3: looked like.
Speaker 2: But they were a little bit.
Speaker 3: Bigger, so it was like a black piece of like
Speaker 3: gauzy fabric, and then it had two straps on either side.
Speaker 3: Both both pouches had these this item in them. Okay,
Speaker 3: So I got two of them. So I take off
Speaker 3: my clothes and I'm like, okay, I open the thing
Speaker 3: and I look at it. How in the actual hell
Speaker 3: am I supposed to put this on? I have no idea.
Speaker 2: Or something.
Speaker 3: But if you do that, then it goes this way,
Speaker 3: and if you do on your front, then like it
Speaker 3: was the So.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to figure it out for the for the bottom.
Speaker 3: I can't figure out what to do with them. So
Speaker 3: I'm standing there and I'm starting to panic and sweat
Speaker 3: because I'm like, she's going to come back and knock
Speaker 3: on the door and ask me if I'm ready, and
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't know how to like put these on,
Speaker 3: so I'm I'm still trying. After a couple of minutes,
Speaker 3: she comes back. She knocks really quickly and walks in,
Speaker 3: and I'm just sitting there but ass naked in front
Speaker 3: of this woman that I've never met before, and I
Speaker 3: felt so dumb. But I'm like, I don't know what
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to do with these two little things. Face
Speaker 3: masks essentially is what they look like to me. It
Speaker 3: was like the most awkward things always happened to me
Speaker 3: in those situations.
Speaker 2: She started to.
Speaker 3: Laugh and she's like, no, no, no, no, it's fine. I'm like,
Speaker 3: can I just wear my normal underwear? I'm like, I
Speaker 3: don't care if you see my boobs. There's you know,
Speaker 3: they wear whatever. No, they were. She never explained to
Speaker 3: me what I was supposed to do with them.
Speaker 1: I'm like you and the fact that if I'm getting
Speaker 1: a message, I don't want to take off my underwear.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just feel like like I'll get it made me
Speaker 1: less creepy to them, like if I at least have
Speaker 1: something on, Like I left shorts on one time and said,
Speaker 1: he said, I'm going to leave my shorts on because
Speaker 1: I just don't.
Speaker 2: Want to come in.
Speaker 1: And can I tell you something funny with that? You
Speaker 1: not knowing like how to put it in right away?
Speaker 1: Right away. It brought up a memory of going into
Speaker 1: the dressing room and I think it was either Macy's
Speaker 1: or nord Strums. I think it might have been north
Speaker 1: Strums in the dressing room and it was a smaller
Speaker 1: dressing room and I'm trying to put on a pair
Speaker 1: of pants and the pants were way too too small
Speaker 1: for me. They were like skinny jeans, and I'm putting
Speaker 1: them on, and as I'm putting the pants leg on,
Speaker 1: I can't let like I'm like losing balance. And do
Speaker 1: you know that those walls are not like thick together walls.
Speaker 1: I hit the door and when I hit the door
Speaker 1: and the door is locked, it went right through the
Speaker 1: things and I fell out of the fell out. I
Speaker 1: fell out of the freaking thing and it was bad.
Speaker 1: And this was in Amy, who runs now Jimmy John's
Speaker 1: for Anthony Tomy. She's his head of marketing. She was thistrap.
Speaker 1: I go, I think I just broke No.
Speaker 2: I went in, I changed my clothes real quick. There
Speaker 2: was nobody there in the middle of the afternoon.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, I think I just broke the thing.
Speaker 2: Just I don't worry about it. We'll call me AND's
Speaker 2: or whatever. The deal is. How did the pants fit?
Speaker 2: I didn't. We're way too they were way too skinny.
Speaker 1: But there's nothing worse than having to try to get
Speaker 1: dressed or undressed and do it in a way that
Speaker 1: is to make you not look like a fool. But
Speaker 1: Shannon had this happened to her at the lymphatic massage.
Speaker 1: What's going on, Jasmine?
Speaker 4: I hate those things, Shannon.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 4: I can't. My booth just fall out while they massaged me.
Speaker 4: It's so awkward.
Speaker 5: I hate it.
Speaker 4: I hate it so much.
Speaker 5: And then the bottom I have a big butt, it
Speaker 5: doesn't even sit.
Speaker 3: I'm still thinking about how you're supposed to do. I cannot,
Speaker 3: for the life of me, figure out what I was
Speaker 3: supposed to do with this.
Speaker 2: Is it a good massage, Jasmine?
Speaker 4: I mean yeah, but it's not worth the awkwardness of
Speaker 4: putting up stupid things. I don't even know what to
Speaker 4: call it a mask.
Speaker 5: For down there?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: And are you supposed to wear one of the things
Speaker 2: on your top?
Speaker 5: They so the one I got was in Europe and
Speaker 5: they made me wear it on top too.
Speaker 2: It was weird, wild, very awkward.
Speaker 5: Usually I just take everything off and keep a song
Speaker 5: on or something.
Speaker 1: When you do the massage and they talk about the
Speaker 1: what is it the drainage or what is it?
Speaker 2: What is it?
Speaker 3: What's your lymphatic system filters like all of the yuck,
Speaker 3: all the toxins out.
Speaker 2: Of your body.
Speaker 3: So this just gets it moving to make sure that
Speaker 3: that is happening properly.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I don't know if I want to.
Speaker 3: It's really really good for soccer Twitter.
Speaker 2: She got like a brush and she works her face
Speaker 2: in a certain way and she shows the other side
Speaker 2: that isn't worked, and it's a complete difference.
Speaker 3: And there's a very specific method of doing it you
Speaker 3: have to do in a certain order.
Speaker 1: And yeah, always I would hate to see what tell
Speaker 1: her my drainage looks like, what's going on?
Speaker 2: To how you doing? How are you fantastic?
Speaker 1: What if my drainage is basically Culver's concrete.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, those are so good. Oh I love them?
Speaker 2: What's going on? Yeah?
Speaker 5: I was gonna say so, my first ever time getting
Speaker 5: a massage, the masseuse and massage there souse.
Speaker 4: She was like dressed undressed to your comfort, and so
Speaker 4: I kept my uh bra and panties on.
Speaker 5: But then she came in and said I still had
Speaker 5: to take off my bra. So I'm like, which one
Speaker 5: is it?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what keeps that's what makes you comfortable. You
Speaker 3: should be able to keep it on.
Speaker 1: Would you, Shannon or Nia or Anna? Would you be
Speaker 1: comfortable with a man doing a massage like that?
Speaker 3: Or you had that one time and I could not
Speaker 3: not not what you think?
Speaker 2: That's why you wouldn't What if he was hot? What
Speaker 2: if he was maybe even more? I would not be
Speaker 2: able to agree. You'd be okay with it. Nia, you'd
Speaker 2: be good with that. Maybe. What would you do?
Speaker 1: What would you do if you were there and you
Speaker 1: took your brad and stuff like that off and the
Speaker 1: guy walks in and it's Kevin.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you something? I went on a girl's
Speaker 3: trip a couple of years ago with some girlfriends and
Speaker 3: we all like went to get massages together and my
Speaker 3: one girlfriend.
Speaker 2: She was like, it is my fantasy. I'm just closing
Speaker 2: this too.
Speaker 3: Is my fantasy to have a guy like no massage
Speaker 3: therapist and like have one thing lead to another and
Speaker 3: d D. So sure enough they tell her she has
Speaker 3: a male massage therapist. She's like, oh my god, it's happening.
Speaker 3: This man walks down the stairs and he looked like
Speaker 3: Chris Farley fell on the floor. I'm like, there's your
Speaker 3: There was her fantasy.
Speaker 2: There.
Speaker 1: I went and got a pedicure when we were in
Speaker 1: Florida last and I'm at this place and it was
Speaker 1: seriously wonderful.
Speaker 2: The woman talked to me. Wonderful she did.
Speaker 1: She did a a calf massage for me, which she took.
Speaker 2: She literally took her.
Speaker 1: Hands and just sat there and rubbed my my you
Speaker 1: know it's the calves right at the bottom, yea, And
Speaker 1: she rubbed my calves and it was so freaking unbelievable.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. And she I got a calf job.
Speaker 1: She was she uh, she was not like attractive or
Speaker 1: anything like that. So it wasn't I wasn't here, but
Speaker 1: I would have married her. I'm telling you it was.
Speaker 1: It was the best thing I've ever like, I had
Speaker 1: the last two pedicures. I've had the one that was
Speaker 1: here in town that was amazing, and then this one.
Speaker 2: I mean, like, where does it go?
Speaker 1: I swear to you, I would rather that and then
Speaker 1: get a massage. I'd rather have that. I'd rather have
Speaker 1: my feet and my calves worked.
Speaker 3: I want somebody, and I'm going to one next week
Speaker 3: I'm taking for her birthday.
Speaker 2: Those are amazing. What's up, tiffany? How you doing good?
Speaker 4: First time?
Speaker 2: Long time?
Speaker 4: So my girlfriend surprised me with a massage because I
Speaker 4: don't really like people touching me, and she was like,
Speaker 4: I just looked to you as a chair massage that's
Speaker 4: supposed to be shoulders and the heads. And I'm like okay.
Speaker 4: So I go and it's this really small, short guy
Speaker 4: and I go in the room and I'm like, where
Speaker 4: is the chair? And so he's like, oh, you could
Speaker 4: just sit on the edge of the bed, or you
Speaker 4: can lay down, and I'm like, okay, I'll just lay down. Well,
Speaker 4: he stood at the top of my head to do
Speaker 4: the massage, and the whole time all I could feel
Speaker 4: was his like man, and who's on the top of
Speaker 4: my head?
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so I was like, oh my gosh. So
Speaker 4: then I start talking about my girlfriend, hoping that he
Speaker 4: would like move like nope, fron body part, No, thank you.
Speaker 5: He was with his thing.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 4: It was the worst.
Speaker 2: Ever And I'm like, no, never that my first ever.
Speaker 1: Experience God first and last time crazy hold on Destiny
Speaker 1: was up Destiny as Mojo in the morning.
Speaker 2: Hi, Hi, what's happening.
Speaker 5: So at the end of last year, me and my
Speaker 5: boyfriend went with a group of friends to Morocco and
Speaker 5: we got our friends recommended we get something called a
Speaker 5: her Mom and it's basically like so we didn't know
Speaker 5: what to really expect. They told us there's a massage
Speaker 5: involved in everything. So we go, we show up, they
Speaker 5: give us that little paper underwear and we're actually in
Speaker 5: the room together and they basically scrub you down like
Speaker 5: with a brush, like all over your body first and
Speaker 5: then and they tell you to like flip and everything,
Speaker 5: and then they put you in the room for the massage.
Speaker 5: But it was just super.
Speaker 2: Embarrassing scrub with a brush.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like they put all these different like scrubs on
Speaker 5: you and they just like kind of flop up your
Speaker 5: arm and you can look into it. It's really it was.
Speaker 5: The massage was nice, but the actual like scrubbing.
Speaker 2: Down part was that crazy. It was.
Speaker 5: And we're like in front of each other right to
Speaker 5: like we're like right next to each other while we're
Speaker 5: doing it. So it was definitely an experience.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm not comfortable enough with my body
Speaker 1: to have somebody scrub me down, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like I don't want I don't know if I want that.
Speaker 1: Although it's funny because somebody was telling me that you
Speaker 1: can go over to I don't know if it's Japan
Speaker 1: or wherever it is, and you can get uh they baite,
Speaker 1: they'll give you a bath. I do not want to
Speaker 1: h And there are guys that will go to these places.
Speaker 1: They'll go to and I know we've heard of bathhouses before,
Speaker 1: but it legit is like a bath house. And they'll
Speaker 1: go in there and they get all kind of dressed
Speaker 1: into like a robe, and they get into a big
Speaker 1: bathtub and the woman just like grubbing you like like.
Speaker 2: Your mom did when you were a little kids, like
Speaker 2: taking bath gross. The Royal penis is clean. It's like
Speaker 2: it's like stewing in your own I would shower before
Speaker 2: the bath.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I just don't know if I wouldn't want
Speaker 1: to have somebody bathe me, you might might.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: No, I honestly, Chelsea, when I had my surgery, my
Speaker 1: shoulder surgery and stuff had to help me, uh, take
Speaker 1: showers in the morning. You would think it would be
Speaker 1: like really hot, but it wasn't. There was nothing like.
Speaker 2: Hot about it, Like it wasn't sexy at all. Yeah,