1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: It's nice side with Dan Ray. I'm telling you Boston's 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:06,040 Speaker 1: Beach Radio. 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:09,600 Speaker 2: Thanks all great jock tonight. You know, I've made some 4 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 2: pretty bad mistakes etiquette wise and embarrassed myself. I'm for 5 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 2: a small town and no one really told me anything, 6 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 2: and I made some mistakes at dinner parties, in at 7 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:27,400 Speaker 2: business events, and I'm going to try to a educate 8 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 2: myself and be save you the pain that I went through. 9 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 2: You've probably made some mistakes too, and maybe you don't 10 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 2: even know it. Maybe you didn't get that job because 11 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 2: of some etiquette mistake you made. You were rude in 12 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 2: some way you didn't know, or maybe you went to 13 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 2: a party over some people's house and when you left 14 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,519 Speaker 2: they they all went, you know, the people that held 15 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 2: the parties that went, oh, oh my god, did you 16 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:58,319 Speaker 2: see what so and so did? Oh my god, did 17 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 2: he grow up in a barn? Well, we're gonna try 18 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,640 Speaker 2: to to help you out. This is gonna be fun. 19 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 2: If you have any questions etiquette questions, and etiquette goes 20 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,240 Speaker 2: far beyond what you might think. As you find out, 21 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 2: six one, seven, two, five, four, ten thirty is the number. 22 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 2: We do have an expert. You wouldn't want to be 23 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 2: relying on me for your advice. So we hunted far 24 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 2: and wide. We did a search and we found Nicki Sahni, 25 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 2: who is a certified Children's and corporate etiquette consultant and 26 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:37,119 Speaker 2: director and founder of the New England School of Protocol. 27 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 2: Who knew there was a New England School of Protocol 28 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:47,119 Speaker 2: and UH certified incorporate Etiquette consultant, founder director. So you're 29 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 2: you're heavy in the world of etiquette. Come over close 30 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 2: to that microphone. 31 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 3: Thank you, Bradley for having me. It's great to be here, of. 32 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 2: Course, and this is your first time on the radio, right, 33 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 2: it is my first. I'm determined to make this a 34 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 2: happy and pleasant experience. 35 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 3: Fantastic. 36 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 2: Firstly, you've really become at the very top of the 37 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 2: etiquette world. How did you who would even think that 38 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 2: this was a career path? How did you find this 39 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 2: career path? 40 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 3: Well, Bradley, my background was in finance and I worked 41 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 3: for a few years and then I was fortunate enough 42 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 3: to be home with my children, and this was the 43 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:30,920 Speaker 3: time when social media and cell phones and smartphones were 44 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 3: coming into being. When my boys got together with their friends, 45 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 3: I noticed that they were all together in the same room, 46 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 3: but no one was speaking to each other. They were 47 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 3: communicating via their phones. 48 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:45,200 Speaker 2: They're in the same room yet texting each other. 49 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,920 Speaker 3: Texting and playing games with each other, but all over 50 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 3: the phone, no one was saying a word. And I 51 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 3: realized that the tools, the very tools that are meant 52 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 3: to make people social, were actually having an adverse effect 53 00:02:58,320 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 3: on them. 54 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:03,639 Speaker 2: They were really to make money the social part. That's 55 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 2: what they say. But I don't know how social. Social 56 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 2: media is kind of anti social media, But I get 57 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:11,080 Speaker 2: your point. So that had to be a shocker for you. 58 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,800 Speaker 2: Can you come a little close to the cellphone? 59 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:15,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was a shocker. And then when I go 60 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 3: out to dinner occasionally I'd see parents at the table 61 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 3: on their phones and children on their iPads, and I 62 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 3: realized that we're losing the art of conversation and into 63 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 3: personal skills. I decided to get certified and bring etiquette 64 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 3: back into focus. 65 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 2: So you went way beyond just the cell phone us. 66 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 2: And you did you go to school for this? 67 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 3: I did. I did get certified. 68 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 2: I went where does one do that? 69 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 3: So I got certified for children's etiquette at the American 70 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 3: School of Protocol in Atlanta and then I got certified 71 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 3: for corporate at the Charlotte School of Protocol and etiquette 72 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 3: at the Charleston Part of Me School of Protocol. And 73 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 3: then I also got trained by William Hansen, who is 74 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 3: an etiquette expert out in England. 75 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 2: He has a podcast, right he does? I know the guy. 76 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know him, but I've watched this podcast. 77 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 2: He's kind of a smart alochy guy. 78 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 3: Right, he is a smart alchy guy, but he knows 79 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 3: the stuff. 80 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 2: He's got an attitude. 81 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,159 Speaker 3: Not when I met him, I see, okay, a good attitude. 82 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,360 Speaker 2: Wow, So you certainly have the credibility. 83 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 3: Thank you? 84 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 2: And now are you able to make a living at it? 85 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 2: By the way, yeah, who hires you? 86 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 3: So? I work with schools, I work. I teach at universities, corporations, 87 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,680 Speaker 3: and partners with various organizations such as the Girl Scouts 88 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 3: of Massachusetts, wreck departments, community centers, and even individuals anyone 89 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:46,600 Speaker 3: who wants to learn etiquette. 90 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 2: How about parents? Did parents say I want my kid 91 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 2: to know how to act all the time? 92 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 3: All the time. I have parents who say, Eric, can 93 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 3: you take my child and please teach him some manners 94 00:04:58,920 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 3: and something? 95 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 2: You can do your job online, right. 96 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:07,359 Speaker 3: I prefer teaching good for you? Yes, I feel that 97 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 3: face to face interaction and teaching and demonstrating and role 98 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 3: playing is really important, especially when it comes to children. 99 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,480 Speaker 2: All right, So the number six, one, seven, two, four, ten. 100 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,720 Speaker 2: If you have a question, we're going to go by category. 101 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 2: We're going to start out with dinner, which is something 102 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 2: pretty much everyone does and might need to know. The 103 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 2: manners are related to that. And when you say dinner, 104 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 2: do you mean fancy dinner or dinner party, or dinner 105 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 2: at a restaurant, or just two people at even two 106 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 2: people at home, all of these let's start with two 107 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 2: people at home. That's what I would be help me 108 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 2: to live a better life with my manners with just 109 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 2: my partner and me. 110 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, Barley, nowhere are your manners more evident than 111 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 3: on the dining table. That's the one time where your 112 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 3: all your skills come into play, your table manners, your 113 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,039 Speaker 3: interpersonal skills. 114 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 2: Question. Right out of the get, your student has a question, sure, 115 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 2: is it okay to watch TV and eat? If it isn't, 116 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 2: I'm going to starve to death. 117 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 3: A time to A time to eat is a time 118 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 3: to connect with people at the table. So I would 119 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:21,160 Speaker 3: I would say no, what. 120 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,320 Speaker 2: If there's only one other person, that's all right. 121 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 3: Just talk to that one other person, connect with them, 122 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,599 Speaker 3: find out how their day was, share how your day was, 123 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:29,679 Speaker 3: ask questions. 124 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 2: So there's if you've communicated with that person enough for 125 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 2: the rest of the day. There's nothing inherently wrong with 126 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 2: watching TV, you cut. 127 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,279 Speaker 3: If you're both watching together, of course. 128 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, and we're discussing what's on TV. That's fine, Like 129 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 2: look at that guys haircut, or I don't like that actor, 130 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 2: things like that. 131 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:51,479 Speaker 3: I personally prefer having a meal with whether it's a 132 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 3: table person, yes, at the table and having no cell phones, 133 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 3: no television, just talking about day. 134 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,480 Speaker 2: Maybe try that. Okay, I'm gonna put myself in your hands. 135 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:04,920 Speaker 2: There you go. I'm going to try that nice table. Okay, 136 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,359 Speaker 2: take it from there. What else do I need to 137 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,680 Speaker 2: know to make it right? 138 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 3: Well, first of all, you don't want full experience any 139 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 3: any phones on the table, no keys, No, are you 140 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 3: eating at home? Yes, you are eating home? Okay. So 141 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 3: posture first of all, jeez, you want to sit at 142 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 3: the table. You want to make sure that you're sitting 143 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 3: with good posture, no slouching posture. 144 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 2: Is so important. I was just slouching, as you said 145 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,520 Speaker 2: that posture is important for breathing and all that stuff. 146 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 2: But I guess it's a sign of respect. 147 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 3: It is a sign of respect and good to Research 148 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 3: shows that when you want to communicate, sixty percent of 149 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 3: what you want to communicate is by your posture, thirty 150 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 3: percent is the tone of your voice, and only ten 151 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:47,040 Speaker 3: percent are your words. So posture is extremely important. 152 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 2: Good thing. I'm on the radio because I'm a sloucher. 153 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 3: So when you're sitting at the table, you want to 154 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 3: make sure that you are sitting with good posture. Okay, 155 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 3: you are waiting for both of you to have your 156 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 3: food on your plate before you start. If you have 157 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 3: a net paper napkin, you want to open it all 158 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 3: the way. If you have a clock napkin, you always 159 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 3: fold it in half and place it on your lap. 160 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 2: Seeze, I didn't know that fold it in half? Now, 161 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 2: what is the purpose of that? 162 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 3: So that when you have any stains, or if you 163 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 3: have food on your map, on the side of your 164 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 3: mouth or on top of your mouth, you are going 165 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 3: to open the inside of your clock napkin and wipe 166 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 3: gently dab rather not wipe non scrubbing, No rubbing, but 167 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 3: just dabbing. And when you're done, you'll close your clop 168 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 3: napkin and the stains will remain inside. 169 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:38,319 Speaker 2: Oh my god, this is so fantastic. We're folks. We're 170 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 2: all going to be just at any party we're going 171 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 2: to go, we're going to be the classiest people there. Now, 172 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,079 Speaker 2: I didn't know that, And it makes sense. There's always 173 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,160 Speaker 2: a reason for these things. 174 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 3: Absolutely, there's always a reason, and it's always good to 175 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:50,439 Speaker 3: ask why. 176 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,319 Speaker 2: And the paper napkin, you say, open it all the 177 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 2: way up. You also put that in your lap. 178 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 3: You also place that in your lap, and you dab 179 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 3: the corners of your mouth. Do not wipe, do not wipe. 180 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,640 Speaker 3: But you never take food out in your clock napkin. 181 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 3: You don't rub, You don't blow your nose in your 182 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:04,400 Speaker 3: clock knack. 183 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 2: Who would take food out. Let's say you're at a 184 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 2: you feel older than six. 185 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 3: Well, let's say you're at a party and you have 186 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 3: you're having a steak and it's a wedding and the 187 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 3: bride's father is giving a speech and you have this 188 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,120 Speaker 3: piece of steak and it tastes awful. What are you 189 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 3: going to do with it? 190 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,080 Speaker 2: Apparently, not put it in my napkin. 191 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 3: That is correct. 192 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,079 Speaker 2: What do you do with it? 193 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,680 Speaker 3: Well, your first option is obviously to get up and 194 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 3: go out and spit it out, But because there's a 195 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,079 Speaker 3: speech going on, you can I tend to get up. 196 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,719 Speaker 3: If you have a paper napkin, you're discreetly going to 197 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,560 Speaker 3: take it out and put it and place it underneath 198 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 3: your plate on the on the towards you, not on 199 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 3: top of your plate. 200 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 2: But not a cloth knapkin, not a clock knack, because 201 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 2: you have to keep using it. 202 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,559 Speaker 3: And also if you have if you if you remove 203 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,320 Speaker 3: food in a clock napkin and you place it on 204 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,680 Speaker 3: your table when you're done with your meal and your 205 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,840 Speaker 3: server comes to pick and picks up your napkin, he's 206 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 3: not going to know or she's not going to know 207 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 3: that you have food in gross and they're going to 208 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 3: have to deal with that. And yes, that's gross. 209 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:07,680 Speaker 2: That's great information. 210 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 3: So if you do not have a paper napkin and 211 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 3: you cannot get up and go to the bathroom to 212 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 3: spit out your food, you're going to very discreetly take 213 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:21,199 Speaker 3: your fork take And you. 214 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 2: Cannot say this right into the microphone, it's. 215 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 3: Important if you do not have a paper napkin and 216 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 3: you cannot get up and walk to the bathroom because 217 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 3: there's a speech going on. Or maybe you have a 218 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,120 Speaker 3: lot of five people sitting to your left and five 219 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 3: to your right and you have a wall behind you. 220 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:42,280 Speaker 3: In that situation, you are going to take your fork, 221 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 3: take the food out, very discreetly, put it on your plate, 222 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,360 Speaker 3: and cover it with something like your mashed potatoes or rice. 223 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,679 Speaker 3: That is your last option. But you will never take 224 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,840 Speaker 3: it out in your clock napkin and leave it at 225 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,200 Speaker 3: the table and walk away. 226 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 2: That's one of the best things I've ever heard in 227 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 2: my life. Thank you, And I'm just trying to imagine 228 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 2: me burying a piece of tough steak under the potatoes. 229 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 2: It was difficult not to laugh during that. But I 230 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:12,200 Speaker 2: now know the way to do it. And if somebody says, 231 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 2: what are you doing that, I say, this is the 232 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 2: way you do it. You live your life. 233 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 3: Well, it's better than putting in the clock map leaving 234 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 3: it for your way to to deal with it. 235 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 2: What else do we need to know? That was fantastic? 236 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:26,840 Speaker 2: Anything about dishware or order of the use of things. 237 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 3: Yes, So when you're at the table learning how to 238 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 3: navigate a three or four course meal is a good 239 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,720 Speaker 3: thing to do. So when we're at the table and 240 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:39,319 Speaker 3: you have a lot of utensils, sometimes people get overwhelmed 241 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 3: with a number of utensils. You want to remember that 242 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:45,680 Speaker 3: you are working from the outside end, so you use 243 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 3: the outermoors utensil first, then the next, and the next 244 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:53,680 Speaker 3: and so on. So if I have a four course 245 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:58,000 Speaker 3: meal and I have soup, a salad, a main course, 246 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:02,240 Speaker 3: and a dessert, the outermost utensil is going to be 247 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 3: the soup spoon, and you work your way in and 248 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 3: and then you are going. You could use either the 249 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,800 Speaker 3: Continental style of dining or the American style of dining. 250 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 3: That's totally up to you. 251 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 2: What's the difference. 252 00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:20,480 Speaker 3: So the Continental style of dining or the European style 253 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 3: of dining is a two step style where you cut. 254 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 3: You hold your knife in your dominant hand and you 255 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:31,560 Speaker 3: you use your fork and you cut. It's two steps. 256 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,960 Speaker 3: You cut and then you eat from the back of 257 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:34,679 Speaker 3: the fork. 258 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 2: Leaving both in. You don't have to put one of 259 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:38,720 Speaker 2: them utensils down at all. 260 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 3: You don't have to. It's cut and eat. 261 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:44,320 Speaker 2: All right. Do you have the times of the bendy. 262 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:48,319 Speaker 3: Part of the fork facing down, facing the bendy part 263 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,959 Speaker 3: fast place up the ties of facing down. 264 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,560 Speaker 2: Okay, yes, interesting And. 265 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,840 Speaker 3: When you are resting, it's really important to know. When 266 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 3: you're taking a break or pausing, how do you place 267 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 3: yourself were and when you're done, how do you place 268 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 3: your silverware? So when your pause, you place your silverware 269 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,720 Speaker 3: in a triangle that tells your weight. Staff, don't touch 270 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:14,079 Speaker 3: my plate, I'm not done. These are silent signals. 271 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 2: Between bites. Do you keep your utensils in your hands 272 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,079 Speaker 2: or do you put them down? 273 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,680 Speaker 3: Well, you should place them down, So take a bite 274 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 3: and then you can place them down. You can yep 275 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 3: if you choose stoa. 276 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,199 Speaker 2: Yes, and when you do that, you place them down 277 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,720 Speaker 2: between bites, place. 278 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,560 Speaker 3: Them in a triangle or yes, you place them in 279 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 3: the triangle. Now, if you know that you're taking small 280 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 3: bites and you're eating and you're not pausing, then you 281 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,080 Speaker 3: can hold them in your hand. But don't point that 282 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,680 Speaker 3: fork or that knife at somebody. 283 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 2: Don't point with your fork or knife. 284 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:44,960 Speaker 3: Absolutely not. 285 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:49,440 Speaker 2: Wow, this is really actionable stuff, folks. I hope you're 286 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 2: taking notes. I need I need to take a break. 287 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,439 Speaker 2: We've gone so long, we'll have more on and we'll 288 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 2: deal with dining etiquette to try to keep you from 289 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,719 Speaker 2: being embarrassed in a moment. On Devil's By. 290 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:07,280 Speaker 1: Night Side with Dan Ray on WBZ, Boston's news radio, 291 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 1: My friends. 292 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,720 Speaker 2: We were talking. We were speaking about etiquette tonight with 293 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 2: Nikki Soni, who's an expert and trained expert, certified expert 294 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 2: and really fascinating. We've already learned that some of the 295 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 2: things we all do are bad. Let's learn some more. 296 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,840 Speaker 2: Let's learn other things that we shouldn't do. It's going 297 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,640 Speaker 2: to be great to be able to go into a 298 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 2: situation and know that you are probably the only one 299 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,840 Speaker 2: there doing things correctly. And that would be because you 300 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:37,120 Speaker 2: listen to night Side. We are still in the home 301 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 2: you you did mention. There's a proper way to recover 302 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,560 Speaker 2: from some sort of accident. Say I guess you tipped 303 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 2: over a glass or something like that. That's a proper 304 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 2: recovery method. 305 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,920 Speaker 3: Absolutely so, if you are at someone's home and you 306 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 3: have a spell or you have an accident at the table, 307 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 3: the most important thing is to be calm and composed, 308 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 3: acknowledge the mistake, don't make excuse, and then apologize and 309 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 3: offer to help clean up. Most people get frazzled, or 310 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 3: some people may pass the blame or pretend like it 311 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:13,560 Speaker 3: never happened. I think there's a grace in accepting that 312 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 3: it is a mistake and offering to help, or if 313 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,760 Speaker 3: you broke something, offering to pay for it. 314 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:21,120 Speaker 2: So basically own it and don't get in bettered. Absolutely, Okay, 315 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:23,760 Speaker 2: things happen. What about if you go to somebody's house 316 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,200 Speaker 2: and what about bringing something? Give me some guidance, give 317 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 2: us all guidance on on that. Sure, I can't assume 318 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 2: that that people drink, like bringing wine might be a mistake. 319 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 3: That's right. So unless you know them really well and 320 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 3: you know that the type of wine they enjoy, or 321 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:45,440 Speaker 3: even if they drink or not, don't take wine. Always 322 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,720 Speaker 3: bring a hostess gift. It's a nice way of showing 323 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 3: your host that you really appreciate the invite. Of all 324 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:54,480 Speaker 3: the people that they could have invited, they chose to invite. 325 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 2: You, right, So what's a surefire gift that's not going 326 00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 2: to fail? 327 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:04,760 Speaker 3: Box of chocolates, candles, Stay away from self help books, 328 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 3: stay away from anything too personal. If you're bringing flowers, 329 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,960 Speaker 3: bring flowers in a vase. You don't want the host 330 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 3: to stop in the middle of a party and now 331 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,520 Speaker 3: you brought them flowers and they are looking for a vase. 332 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:22,040 Speaker 3: If you're bringing, you know, a dish or a food item, 333 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 3: make sure it's oven ready. You don't want them to 334 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,440 Speaker 3: pause in the middle of the party and now transfer 335 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 3: the food into an oven ready dish. So just be 336 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 3: mindful of what you're bringing and what you think that 337 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 3: the host would enjoy. 338 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 2: All Right, this happens a lot. Hey, you want to 339 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 2: come to dinner? Me what should I bring? They say nothing. 340 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 2: But even though they say nothing, you cannot do. 341 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 3: That right if someone's yes. If you especially if you're 342 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 3: going to someone's house for the very first time, it's 343 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 3: always nice to bring something a homemade jam, a homemade bread. 344 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 2: Jam bread. Well, in Jerry's the gift was it was 345 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 2: a a bobka an. The whole episode was trying to 346 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:07,720 Speaker 2: get ababka. 347 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I would say definitely, if you're going there 348 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:13,200 Speaker 3: for the first time, bring something a small token gift. 349 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be anything too expensive or too personal. 350 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:21,160 Speaker 2: Okay, I'm just asking things that pop into my mind. 351 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 2: So what about dous and don'ts on the conversation you make. 352 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,159 Speaker 3: Oh, so a time to eat, as I mentioned earlier, 353 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 3: is a great time to connect with people. And when 354 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,879 Speaker 3: we're at the table eating, we want it to be 355 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 3: a pleasant conversation. So you want to avoid any kind 356 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,719 Speaker 3: of controversial topic unless you know the people at the 357 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,879 Speaker 3: table really well. It's okay to have a healthy debate, 358 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,239 Speaker 3: But if you are invited to someone's home and you 359 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 3: don't know the other guests, don't start a debate or 360 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:52,120 Speaker 3: a controversial topic. Steer away from anything too personal. 361 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 2: What about politics, I have to ask that out about it? 362 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,960 Speaker 3: Well, like I said, if you don't know the people 363 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,359 Speaker 3: at the table, you don't want to discuss topics like 364 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:05,439 Speaker 3: politics or religion or money and start a debate. You 365 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,399 Speaker 3: want that evening to be pleasant. Well, if you do 366 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 3: know them, If you know them well, and you can 367 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,280 Speaker 3: have a healthy debate with them, if as long as 368 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,440 Speaker 3: everyone's on board and try to be inclusive, don't dominate 369 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 3: the conversation. 370 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,399 Speaker 2: I actually, I don't think there's anything such thing as 371 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,639 Speaker 2: a healthy debate over politics anymore. People don't seem to 372 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:21,240 Speaker 2: be able to do. 373 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:25,800 Speaker 3: It unless you are very close to someone and you 374 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:31,639 Speaker 3: are both able to discuss and agree to disagree and 375 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,239 Speaker 3: you know the person. Yes, I would say, if it's 376 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,080 Speaker 3: a very close knit group, if it's my sister and 377 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,080 Speaker 3: myself or my brother and we are talking about this 378 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 3: and we are open to accepting each other's ideas, yeah. 379 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,760 Speaker 2: That's pretty rare. It is very rare. So what about 380 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,959 Speaker 2: the fact that this doing that may take away completely 381 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,960 Speaker 2: from the enjoyment of the food. You get so caught 382 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:56,760 Speaker 2: up in your battle of your debate. I don't think 383 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 2: i'd bring up politics or religion or anything at all. 384 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 2: Trying to keep it positive, upbeat, positively reinforcing for everybody, 385 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 2: concentrate on enjoying the food that they work so hard 386 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:10,160 Speaker 2: to put together. 387 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,760 Speaker 3: Absolutely, if you know, and I would steer away from there. 388 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 3: But if you are having if it's a close knit 389 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,840 Speaker 3: group and you know you can have a healthy conversation. 390 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,919 Speaker 3: I've had healthy conversations with family or friends. But if 391 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 3: you can't, I would say, absolutely, steer away from anything 392 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:29,120 Speaker 3: that's debatable, anything that's going to read. 393 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,520 Speaker 2: Is it okay if you get an invitation to say, 394 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,800 Speaker 2: you know what, I'd love to come if you can 395 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 2: promise me you won't talk about politics. Is that? Is 396 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,200 Speaker 2: that a rude thing to do. 397 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I would not say I would not have a 398 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,000 Speaker 3: conditional invite. If the topic comes up, I would I 399 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 3: would change the topic. Or normally the host is the 400 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 3: person that will steer away and maybe change the topic. 401 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,920 Speaker 3: Or you could say, maybe we can discuss this another time, 402 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 3: or I'd rather not speak about this at this point 403 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,240 Speaker 3: in time. I'd love to talk about other things, or 404 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 3: enjoy the meal and maybe talk about the food and 405 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,879 Speaker 3: the host and people at the table. 406 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 2: All right, now you mentioned moving into the world of business, 407 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:14,200 Speaker 2: we would change the topic to business dining. Sure, So 408 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 2: I don't even know what to ask in business dining. 409 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,440 Speaker 2: There got to be some top three or four things 410 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 2: to do and not to do. 411 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:26,440 Speaker 3: Yes, So when you are inviting your client to dinner 412 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 3: or are being invited, you want to make sure that, 413 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,440 Speaker 3: especially if you're inviting, if you're inviting somebody to dinner, 414 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 3: you want to make sure that you take care of 415 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 3: a few things ahead of time. The first thing you 416 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,880 Speaker 3: want to know is if there are any dietary restrictions. 417 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,080 Speaker 3: You don't want to bring your client to a seafood 418 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,760 Speaker 3: restaurant and then find out that they don't eat seafood. 419 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:47,680 Speaker 2: True. 420 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 3: The second thing you want to do is you want 421 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 3: to ask your client how much time do they have? 422 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,399 Speaker 3: Don't assume that they have two hours to have a 423 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,880 Speaker 3: leisure lee lunch, so it's always good to ask them. 424 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,680 Speaker 3: The other thing I would ask is what's a good point, 425 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,440 Speaker 3: what's a good place to meet that's convenient for them. 426 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 3: You don't want them to driving an hour across town 427 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 3: because it suits you, so you want to be mindful 428 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:17,320 Speaker 3: of that. And then as you get to lunch or dinner, 429 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 3: you want to make sure that you wait for your 430 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 3: client to get there before you sit down. You wait 431 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:22,800 Speaker 3: for them at the front of the. 432 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 2: Restaurant, sit down before they sit down. That's very important. 433 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 2: That's great. I would not know. I wouldn't sit down probably, 434 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 2: but it's good to know that that's a rule. Yes. 435 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 3: And then when you when you are at the table, 436 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,920 Speaker 3: you give your client the better facing seat. You want 437 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 3: them facing the restaurant, not facing the kitchen. And you 438 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:46,280 Speaker 3: order course per course, so that if your client's having 439 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,800 Speaker 3: a soup, you try and have a soup or a salad. 440 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,640 Speaker 3: If they're having a main course, you'll have a main 441 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,560 Speaker 3: course and alcohol. 442 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,800 Speaker 2: So let them decide the level of the meal. 443 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:59,280 Speaker 3: Yes, So you. You let them decide because you're hosting, 444 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:00,960 Speaker 3: and you let them decide. 445 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:02,879 Speaker 2: Now, they obviously would have to order first. 446 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,320 Speaker 3: They would have to order first. Now, how do you 447 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:09,600 Speaker 3: know if you should order the eighty dollars steak or 448 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:10,719 Speaker 3: the twenty dollar pasta? 449 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:12,600 Speaker 2: You let them order first. 450 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,119 Speaker 3: How would they know if they? 451 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:16,879 Speaker 2: Oh? Right? So how would the client? 452 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:17,680 Speaker 3: How would the client? 453 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,200 Speaker 2: So now we're on the other side. Now we're in 454 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 2: the client and you're going out. Right, If you're a client, 455 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,080 Speaker 2: the answer is, I do not know. Tell you tell me. 456 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:26,880 Speaker 3: What would you do? 457 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 2: Well? I would want to make a good impression on 458 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:38,359 Speaker 2: the client, so I would probably get a mid range 459 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 2: dish because I don't want to seem like I'm uncomfortable 460 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,439 Speaker 2: getting anything at all. But I wouldn't get the one 461 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,600 Speaker 2: hundred and nineteen dollars whatever steak. 462 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,200 Speaker 3: That's right. So, if someone invites you and is paying 463 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 3: for the meal, that doesn't mean that you take the 464 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 3: liberty of ordering the most expensive or over ordering because 465 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,239 Speaker 3: you don't want to cook dinner and you want left over. 466 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 2: Yes. 467 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 3: So one of the ways to find out kind of 468 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:10,880 Speaker 3: gauge what you're what the person can afford is by 469 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,200 Speaker 3: asking them what do you recommend or have you been 470 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,280 Speaker 3: here before? Would you recommend? 471 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:17,960 Speaker 2: What is great? 472 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,159 Speaker 3: What do you think is great? Or what are you 473 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 3: thinking of getting? And if they say, oh, this place 474 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,479 Speaker 3: is known for their stakes, I'm definitely going to get 475 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:24,879 Speaker 3: a rabbi. 476 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:25,480 Speaker 2: Then you can. 477 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:30,359 Speaker 3: Then you can yes, and be mindful. Don't order. Don't 478 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,320 Speaker 3: over order. If you have an hour and you're ordering soup, salad, 479 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:40,240 Speaker 3: main course, dessert, don't order all that, especially at a 480 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,840 Speaker 3: company dinner or a company lunch during the holidays, if 481 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 3: you are being invited out by your manager and there 482 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,399 Speaker 3: the company is paying for it. Don't take under your 483 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,360 Speaker 3: advantage and overorder because you want to bring food home. 484 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:56,600 Speaker 2: Okay, this is great. More business lunch and dining tips. 485 00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:00,399 Speaker 3: What do you have horse for course? Oh? What do 486 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 3: you do? 487 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,879 Speaker 2: What about alcohol? Good questions. 488 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:07,879 Speaker 3: So I always advise that a business meal is an 489 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,560 Speaker 3: extension of your work day. It is not a happy 490 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 3: hour with your friends. So be very mindful. 491 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 2: This is this is similar to how do you know 492 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 2: what to order? How do you know if you should 493 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 2: order alcohol? You kind of defer to the host. Correct 494 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:28,840 Speaker 2: that is in pain And so if they ask first, 495 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,240 Speaker 2: are you what do you want to drink? And you 496 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,680 Speaker 2: have to ask them back, well, what do you think? 497 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,159 Speaker 2: And I have it is that what you do? 498 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,800 Speaker 3: You can do that you could say, or if you 499 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,640 Speaker 3: don't want to drink, you could say, you know what, 500 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,880 Speaker 3: I'm fine, thank you. But if you do want to drink, 501 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:44,520 Speaker 3: I would say, no your limitation, Oh god, yeah, loan 502 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,840 Speaker 3: your limitation. And I usually advise to stick with just 503 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:49,280 Speaker 3: one drink. 504 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:50,240 Speaker 2: One and done is good. 505 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:50,800 Speaker 3: One and done. 506 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 2: After that, it doesn't. It's not so much fun anyway, 507 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:55,880 Speaker 2: that's right. First drink is the best. I mean really, 508 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 2: And the main idea of being there is not the dinner. 509 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,280 Speaker 2: It's business. 510 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 3: It is making that connection, building the relationship, and that's 511 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:05,439 Speaker 3: what it's all about. 512 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:09,760 Speaker 2: Okay, any other common mistakes and you know, actually we'll 513 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 2: break and see if there are any other common mistakes 514 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 2: in business, and then we'll go to a general restaurant 515 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:22,360 Speaker 2: mistakes like how to treat the servers, et cetera. All right, 516 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 2: after this on WBZ, you're. 517 00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:29,159 Speaker 1: On to Night's Side with Dan Ray on WBZ Boston's 518 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:29,840 Speaker 1: news Radio. 519 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:34,800 Speaker 2: We continue with guests Nikki Sahani learning about how to 520 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 2: have some manners, how to have top class manners so 521 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,119 Speaker 2: that when you go to any place, people are going 522 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:46,440 Speaker 2: to think, Wow, that person really is classy, and you're 523 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,720 Speaker 2: gonna feel good about yourself and your family and your kids. 524 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,760 Speaker 2: You're going to teach them exactly how to do it 525 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 2: so you can kind of, you know, show off a 526 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,640 Speaker 2: little bit if you want. And now we're moving into 527 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:01,240 Speaker 2: the restaurant area. We talked about business dining and mistakes 528 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,600 Speaker 2: to make there and how to make certain decisions. But 529 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 2: now we'll move into general restaurant behavior, restaurant etiquette plus 530 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:13,159 Speaker 2: and don'ts there. So, Nikki, uh, A soup is a 531 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,639 Speaker 2: you know, an early course. A few people know how 532 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,240 Speaker 2: to for sure eat soup. Let's get that out of 533 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:22,080 Speaker 2: the way. That's right there. That's worth the price of 534 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 2: admission learning how to eat soup. And if you have 535 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:29,159 Speaker 2: any questions of comments, folks, six one seven, okay, Nikki. 536 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, So most people, I would say many people. I 537 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 3: wouldn't say most people. Many people are not aware of 538 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,879 Speaker 3: the proper etiquette of eating soup. First of all, we 539 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,200 Speaker 3: eat soup, we don't drink soup. And when you're serf 540 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:44,400 Speaker 3: soup it's always served on a service plate, so. 541 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 2: We're in a cup of shower. You never drink it 542 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:47,320 Speaker 2: out of. 543 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,920 Speaker 3: The cup, unless it's a cup with it has handles 544 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 3: on both sides. 545 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,240 Speaker 2: Both sides yes, a toen mm hmm. 546 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:58,240 Speaker 3: That's for Usually for broth you can lift by holding yes. 547 00:26:58,359 --> 00:26:58,919 Speaker 2: But if it's so. 548 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,639 Speaker 3: Use yes, it's better to use your sp yes. So 549 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,440 Speaker 3: there is. There are four steps in eating soup. Step 550 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 3: number one is that when you're eating soup, you hold 551 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:14,439 Speaker 3: your spoon, and soup is always scooped away from you, 552 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,560 Speaker 3: like a ship leaving shore. That's how I teach the children. 553 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,680 Speaker 3: So you always scoop it away from you. You wipe 554 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,439 Speaker 3: the excess off the rim of the back rim of 555 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 3: your soup bowl so that the no drips, that's right. 556 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,160 Speaker 3: And then you bring your soup spoon up. We don't 557 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,480 Speaker 3: bend down. We have limbs, so we bring our soup 558 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:34,119 Speaker 3: spoon up. 559 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 2: Your head forward, you don't. 560 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,840 Speaker 3: You lean in, but you don't lean over. 561 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:40,960 Speaker 2: And then no further than the edge of the bowl. 562 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:44,920 Speaker 3: And then you eat soup from the side of your spoon, slowly. 563 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,600 Speaker 3: No slurping, no smacking your lips, no blowing on your soup, 564 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,480 Speaker 3: blowing blowing on your soup. And that is why we 565 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:52,720 Speaker 3: scoop it away. 566 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,040 Speaker 2: I think I blow on my soup just the other day. 567 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 3: No blowing on your soup, and you bring it up 568 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:02,040 Speaker 3: and eat, and you have your soup from the spoon. 569 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,560 Speaker 3: When you put it in your mouth and you take 570 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,360 Speaker 3: it out, it should be empty, so. 571 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,480 Speaker 2: You sip from the edge of the spoon. You don't 572 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:10,760 Speaker 2: put the whole spoon in your mouth. 573 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 3: So if it's a thick soup, then you may have 574 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,240 Speaker 3: to turn it a little bit towards at an angle 575 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,199 Speaker 3: and then have it. And if it's a broth, then 576 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:19,200 Speaker 3: you'd sip. 577 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,880 Speaker 2: It up into your mouth. 578 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,440 Speaker 3: That is correct. And then when you are resting or 579 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 3: taking a break, you can put it in your bowl 580 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 3: and when you're done, you put it on your service plate. 581 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,359 Speaker 2: Before I forget, Are there any instances where you hold 582 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:40,000 Speaker 2: your pinky out? Is that meth so for anything? 583 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,200 Speaker 3: Well, when back in the day, back in the day, 584 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 3: when people were having tea and there were tea mugs 585 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:51,560 Speaker 3: with no handles, they would hold the tea coup with 586 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,239 Speaker 3: both hands and a pinky out to balance it. And 587 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 3: then I believe it was in the eighteen hundreds in 588 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 3: Germany when the cup is invented with the handle. And 589 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,960 Speaker 3: now that we have a handle. When we're holding a 590 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:11,360 Speaker 3: tea cup, we pinch and pinch the handle and then 591 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 3: rest the handle on our middle finger, right, And we 592 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,720 Speaker 3: do not stick our pinkies. 593 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,160 Speaker 2: Out, And you don't put your finger through the hole 594 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:21,040 Speaker 2: in the handle. Right. 595 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,400 Speaker 3: When you're having coffee in a coffee mug, you can 596 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:28,680 Speaker 3: loop your finger through the hole, but not with tea tea, 597 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:29,440 Speaker 3: you pinch. 598 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:33,360 Speaker 2: Have you're writing this down, my friends, Okay, we've covered soup. 599 00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:36,520 Speaker 3: Another thing about tea. I want to mention, if I may, yes, 600 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 3: when you add sugar to your tea, most people stir 601 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 3: in a circular motion. The proper etiquette of stirring your 602 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 3: tea is going back and forth from the six o'clock 603 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 3: to the twelve o'clock position, and there's no sound, there's 604 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:57,680 Speaker 3: no clinking, no clanking, And then you place your spoon 605 00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:59,080 Speaker 3: on top of your saucer. 606 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 2: All right, What if you drop happens all the time. 607 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 2: What if you drop your napkin or if I guess, 608 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 2: a fork or a spoon or a knife. 609 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:10,080 Speaker 3: So if you're at a public place or restaurant or 610 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 3: at an event and you drop your napkin on the floor, 611 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:19,440 Speaker 3: I would never pick up that napkin. I would never 612 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,400 Speaker 3: pick it up and put it on the table. I 613 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:25,400 Speaker 3: would not touch it. It's dead, it's gone. Very politely 614 00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:31,160 Speaker 3: indicate your weight staff, don't flag them down eye contact, 615 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,640 Speaker 3: and then when they come over, just say their name 616 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 3: and ask for a fresh napkin. So, David, may I 617 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 3: please have a fresh napkin? Now, the napkin that's on 618 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:44,840 Speaker 3: the floor, you're going to gently kick it under the table, okay, 619 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,320 Speaker 3: because you don't want anyone to trip on it. And 620 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:53,080 Speaker 3: it also looks quite sloppy, right, and that goes for 621 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,320 Speaker 3: your fork, your knives, as well as your spoons. 622 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,640 Speaker 2: Say you need to excuse yourself to use the restroom. 623 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,680 Speaker 2: Is there a protocol for that. Yes. 624 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:04,160 Speaker 3: In dining, there's silent signal. So if I need to 625 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,640 Speaker 3: excuse myself and use the restroom, I'm just going to 626 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,040 Speaker 3: say excuse me. I don't need to announce to the 627 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:11,880 Speaker 3: table that I need to go to the restroom. 628 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,480 Speaker 2: Right, you're eating, and I. 629 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,480 Speaker 3: Will get up for my chair and place my napkin 630 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:18,880 Speaker 3: on the seat of my chair. 631 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:20,520 Speaker 2: That's the signal. 632 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,400 Speaker 3: That indicates your waiter, don't pick up my plate. I'm 633 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:27,400 Speaker 3: going to be right back, and when you come back gracefully, 634 00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 3: pick up your napkin, sit down on the chair, place 635 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,520 Speaker 3: it back on your lap, and continue eating. 636 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,200 Speaker 2: People return food, some more than others. What are the 637 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:38,720 Speaker 2: rules about returning food? 638 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 3: Well, if something is not cooked correctly, or if you 639 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,840 Speaker 3: have some dietary restrictions and they didn't realize that. For example, 640 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 3: you don't eat your lactose intolerant and you get a 641 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,000 Speaker 3: salad it has fata cheese on it because the restaurant 642 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 3: made a mistake, then by all means you should return it. 643 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:04,560 Speaker 3: How if it's cold, absolutely, the key is how you 644 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:05,640 Speaker 3: speak to your weight staff. 645 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:07,840 Speaker 2: What if you just don't like it? If you don't 646 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,920 Speaker 2: like it, my meat is say, my steak is too tough. 647 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:11,280 Speaker 2: How's that? 648 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:13,880 Speaker 3: So? If you asked for a steak to be cooked 649 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,280 Speaker 3: medium rare and it's well done, by all means, you 650 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,959 Speaker 3: can return it. If it's over seasoned, if it's overcooked undercooked, 651 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,760 Speaker 3: you can return it overseasoned. But if you don't like 652 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 3: it just because you don't like it, you better have 653 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,280 Speaker 3: a reason, and better have a reason. In other words, 654 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:29,720 Speaker 3: and what do you say? 655 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:30,960 Speaker 2: How do you say it? 656 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:36,000 Speaker 3: I like the sandwich method, which is where I I 657 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,000 Speaker 3: would say something nice about the meal to the waiter 658 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,720 Speaker 3: or the service, and then say something to the extent, 659 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:46,040 Speaker 3: you know, the appetizers were wonderful, but my steak I 660 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,720 Speaker 3: had asked for a medium rare and it's it's quite tough. 661 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,360 Speaker 3: I think it's overcooked. Would your mind, would your mind 662 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,680 Speaker 3: please changing that for me and getting me another one. 663 00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:59,080 Speaker 2: That's mean you said the sandwich method, which means there's 664 00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:00,520 Speaker 2: something nice on the other side of. 665 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 3: That, which and then something with other nice nice shoes. Yeah, no, David, 666 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,280 Speaker 3: or something to thank you so much for your service. 667 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:14,720 Speaker 3: I appreciate that. It's just kindness, simple kindness. 668 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:18,920 Speaker 2: I got to say, this is a strange coincidence. I've 669 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:23,560 Speaker 2: never heard the phrase the sandwich method before today. I 670 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:27,560 Speaker 2: heard it once before today, after all my many many 671 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,440 Speaker 2: days of being on this planet, I happen to be 672 00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:36,040 Speaker 2: listening to YouTube to how to actually manipulate people, and 673 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 2: there were like sixty seventy ways that people manipulate people. 674 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,280 Speaker 2: And I know that seems like a negative, but it 675 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:49,280 Speaker 2: is a form of manipulation, not necessarily evil. The sandwich 676 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,440 Speaker 2: method came up, and I thought, that's a funny name 677 00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:54,640 Speaker 2: for that. It was a good name, and I was 678 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 2: surprised that it even had a name, And here you 679 00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:00,360 Speaker 2: are a few hours later saying the sandwich methods angything. 680 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:03,600 Speaker 2: I knew exactly what it was, all right. I would 681 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:08,560 Speaker 2: like to comment on returning wine. Unless it's rotten, you 682 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,160 Speaker 2: can't return it. You can't return it because you don't 683 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,040 Speaker 2: like it. It's incumbent upon you to know what kind of 684 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:18,719 Speaker 2: wine you like, what year, what type, and if it's 685 00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:23,560 Speaker 2: just sweet for you, too bad. And the only reason 686 00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:25,800 Speaker 2: you would you send it back is if it's rotten, 687 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,520 Speaker 2: if it started the turn to vinegar and the sniffing 688 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,319 Speaker 2: of the cork is really you look at the cork. 689 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:34,240 Speaker 2: Is the cork rotten? And if it tastes the wine? 690 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:37,600 Speaker 2: You don't really need to go through that whole song 691 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:43,200 Speaker 2: and dance. Is it is it turned to vinegar at 692 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:46,240 Speaker 2: all or not? You don't need to make a big show, 693 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:51,600 Speaker 2: at least for me, of swirling it around and getting 694 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:55,400 Speaker 2: the aroma the nose. I mean, that's all. And the 695 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:59,960 Speaker 2: way staff's like, okay, is it vinegar or not? Just 696 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:08,160 Speaker 2: move on, mister showboat. Now what about signaling for the 697 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:13,560 Speaker 2: check well, or actually signaling for the weight staff, or 698 00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:17,799 Speaker 2: getting their attention at any time during the meal? Is it? 699 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:19,880 Speaker 2: How do you do it? What are the wrong ways 700 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:20,239 Speaker 2: to do it? 701 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:21,839 Speaker 1: Well? 702 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,400 Speaker 3: You should do it quite discreetly. You don't need to 703 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,800 Speaker 3: be allowed or flag them down or snap your fingers 704 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,480 Speaker 3: at them and call them. There are your weight staff. 705 00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:33,480 Speaker 3: They're your service. They're not your servants. You should respect them. 706 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,960 Speaker 3: They work very hard, they're on their feet all day 707 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:40,319 Speaker 3: and so if you need their attention, eye contact just 708 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:43,280 Speaker 3: two fingers. May I please have a fresh napkin? 709 00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:47,520 Speaker 2: Politely, like, do the minimum you need to do. Try 710 00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,279 Speaker 2: eye contact first. If it doesn't work, like slightly raise 711 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,520 Speaker 2: your hand in a semi apologetic manner. 712 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,720 Speaker 3: That's correct. Don't wave your napkin. 713 00:35:56,600 --> 00:36:01,680 Speaker 2: And folks, under no circumstance, just ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, 714 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:06,760 Speaker 2: say girlsaul. People do that. They think they're being funny. 715 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:11,160 Speaker 2: It's no. It's like you're you're a Beverly hillbilly if 716 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,760 Speaker 2: you do that. And by the way, it means boy, 717 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,640 Speaker 2: if I'm not mistaken, correct, what does it mean? 718 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 3: I'm not till quite sure. Honestly, Okay, I believe it does. 719 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:25,600 Speaker 2: It's not what you think, and don't do it next. 720 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,799 Speaker 2: Signaling signaling for the check is the same thing. You 721 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,839 Speaker 2: don't go. You don't make writing motions in the air. 722 00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:38,120 Speaker 3: I guess the most squeak that's right, they will, or 723 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,319 Speaker 3: you could just indicate eye contact us. The best way 724 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:41,120 Speaker 3: to get there returns. 725 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,480 Speaker 2: So what if after this, let's find out what you 726 00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:46,400 Speaker 2: do if you really have bad service? How do you 727 00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,640 Speaker 2: deal with it? There must be a correct way to 728 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:53,600 Speaker 2: deal with that, right correct After this on WBZ, It's Night. 729 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:58,279 Speaker 1: Side with Dan Ray on w Boston's news Radio, more 730 00:36:58,360 --> 00:36:59,080 Speaker 1: literacy and. 731 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:04,800 Speaker 2: More here on WBZ. We've gotten so we have received 732 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:09,120 Speaker 2: so much information on how to operate in polite society, 733 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:13,799 Speaker 2: or or operate operate politely in non polite society, how 734 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:18,480 Speaker 2: to eat properly and use correct manners. We come to 735 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:20,560 Speaker 2: a situation, We're going to go right to the sharing 736 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,880 Speaker 2: of food. Come to a situation where and it happens 737 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:27,600 Speaker 2: a lot. So let's share a couple of advertisers, or 738 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:32,279 Speaker 2: let's each get an advertiser and share one entree. As 739 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,360 Speaker 2: they say, there has to be a right way and 740 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,160 Speaker 2: the wrong way to go about all that. 741 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,520 Speaker 3: That is correct, badly. The most important thing that I 742 00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:45,360 Speaker 3: think when you're sharing food is being mindful and not 743 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:50,000 Speaker 3: double dipping. Whether it's a Super Bowl party or a 744 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:55,239 Speaker 3: football night or another sports night. Just be mindful that 745 00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:59,440 Speaker 3: you are taking the dip, placing it on your own plate, 746 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:01,600 Speaker 3: and then you get double dip as many times as 747 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:02,000 Speaker 3: you like. 748 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:06,279 Speaker 2: Okay, take it, explain exactly what to do again. 749 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,680 Speaker 3: So if you're sharing a dip, or you're sharing some 750 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,960 Speaker 3: knots cocktail nuts, or you're sharing any other food item, 751 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:17,000 Speaker 3: always take some and first place it on your of 752 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,600 Speaker 3: the dip. Take a little bit off of the dip 753 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:23,520 Speaker 3: and place it on your plate, and then take a 754 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:26,720 Speaker 3: handful of chips and you are out of your plate. 755 00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:30,200 Speaker 3: Can double dip, but don't double dip out of the common. 756 00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:34,000 Speaker 2: So you're saying, not only don't double dip in the 757 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:38,799 Speaker 2: common source of dip, don't even single dip directly in there. 758 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:41,440 Speaker 3: Oh no, if it's you can single dip, but you're not. 759 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:45,239 Speaker 2: Double yourself with your chip into the dip and then 760 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:46,200 Speaker 2: directly into your mouth. 761 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:49,319 Speaker 3: It's better if you Etiquette says that you should take 762 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:53,279 Speaker 3: the dip, place it on your appetize a plate, and 763 00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,799 Speaker 3: then use your arm put a bunch of chips onto 764 00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:59,279 Speaker 3: your plate, and then and then you should eat out 765 00:38:59,320 --> 00:38:59,759 Speaker 3: of your plate. 766 00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:01,520 Speaker 2: Any other food sharing. 767 00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:06,640 Speaker 3: Don't reach over into somebody's plate. Let the person who's ordered. 768 00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:11,000 Speaker 3: Let's say we're at the dinner table and you've ordered 769 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,480 Speaker 3: something and you ask would anyone like to share it? 770 00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:17,239 Speaker 3: The person who orders should try the dish first. That's 771 00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,400 Speaker 3: what etiquette dictates. Ask the weight staff for a plate, 772 00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:23,160 Speaker 3: and that played over. Let's say, hand that played over 773 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,359 Speaker 3: to you. You're going to put a little bit of 774 00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,200 Speaker 3: whatever it is that's on your plate that you want 775 00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,680 Speaker 3: to share, and then I will try that. And when 776 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:35,840 Speaker 3: I try it, don't yuck anyone's yum, don't make a face, 777 00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 3: don't say you I don't like this, or because you 778 00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:42,719 Speaker 3: still have to eat it. So be very cognizant of 779 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,719 Speaker 3: the fact that the other person still has to eat 780 00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:45,840 Speaker 3: that dish. 781 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,640 Speaker 2: All right, So there's a big table, a lot of people. 782 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:52,839 Speaker 2: Someone says, can you pass me though mashed potatoes? There's 783 00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,200 Speaker 2: got to be a right way and the wrong way 784 00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:54,960 Speaker 2: to pass food. 785 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:58,040 Speaker 3: That is correct. So in the United States, the first 786 00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,919 Speaker 3: passing of food is alw to the right. So let's 787 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,759 Speaker 3: say that we're all sitting at the table and we're 788 00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:06,160 Speaker 3: having a meal together. You have chicken in front of you. 789 00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,920 Speaker 2: I have pasta, it's already on our plates or no, it's. 790 00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:13,000 Speaker 3: It's family style, it's in the serving dish and we 791 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:17,400 Speaker 3: are all sitting at the table together. In the United States, 792 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,760 Speaker 3: when when you're sitting at the table together, it's family style. 793 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,279 Speaker 3: You'll pick up the potatoes, someone else will pick up 794 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,560 Speaker 3: the pasta. I'll pick up the chicken. And when you're 795 00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:30,200 Speaker 3: serving ourselves, the first passing is always to the right, 796 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,080 Speaker 3: so you'll pass the potatoes to the right, I'll pass 797 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:37,320 Speaker 3: the chicken over to you. That is correct once everyone 798 00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:42,400 Speaker 3: has it, and if someone wants more later, it doesn't 799 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:46,480 Speaker 3: matter which direction you pass it in. In Europe, the 800 00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:49,720 Speaker 3: first passing, so if I'm in France, the first passing 801 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,120 Speaker 3: is to the left. So different countries have different etiquette. 802 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,880 Speaker 3: In the United States, when we eat or drink anything, 803 00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:59,440 Speaker 3: we don't make a sound. We eat very quietly. But 804 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:03,279 Speaker 3: if you are in Japan and you're having soup with 805 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:08,440 Speaker 3: every bite, you'll slurp because that's their etiquette, and it's Japan. 806 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,000 Speaker 3: It's a compliment to the chef that you're really enjoying it. 807 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,440 Speaker 2: I cannot help myself. I need to get it into 808 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,799 Speaker 2: my body as fast as I can because it is 809 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:20,279 Speaker 2: so good. Well, that's very interesting, but we're primarily talking 810 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:21,240 Speaker 2: about US culture. 811 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,799 Speaker 3: So in the US culture, we do not make a 812 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,040 Speaker 3: sound when we eat or drink and when we pass food, 813 00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:28,919 Speaker 3: and when you're passing food, like I said, the first 814 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,239 Speaker 3: passing is always to the right. Once everyone has it, 815 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:33,919 Speaker 3: you can pass it in any direction. But when you're 816 00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:36,719 Speaker 3: also passing food, you want to be mindful that you 817 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:41,080 Speaker 3: are passing with the utensil, the serving utensil, facing the person. 818 00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:44,080 Speaker 3: So if I'm passing butter, I'm not going to pass 819 00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:47,960 Speaker 3: it with the blade of the knife facing the other person. Okay, 820 00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,279 Speaker 3: you want to pace, You want to pass the food 821 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:52,080 Speaker 3: with the handle facing the other person. 822 00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:55,360 Speaker 2: And the same with salt and pepper, and any specific 823 00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,440 Speaker 2: rules about salt and pepper or is that different? 824 00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:00,680 Speaker 3: So when someone at the table asks you for salt, 825 00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:06,759 Speaker 3: you always give them salt and pepper. The proper etiquette 826 00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:09,280 Speaker 3: of passing salt and pepper is that salt and pepper 827 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:13,360 Speaker 3: are never separated. They're always placed together and passed together. 828 00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:16,759 Speaker 3: So if someone asks you for pepper, you'll will give 829 00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:19,240 Speaker 3: them salt and pepper. If they ask you for salt, 830 00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:20,520 Speaker 3: you would give them salt and pepper. 831 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,840 Speaker 2: I'm astounded that there is even that rule, but I 832 00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:26,120 Speaker 2: am thrilled to know it. Now we come to a 833 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,960 Speaker 2: really uncomfortable thing or reason I sometimes I don't even 834 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,480 Speaker 2: want to go out to eat with people. Is the 835 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:34,200 Speaker 2: deciding of how the check is going to go. I 836 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,319 Speaker 2: hope you have rules about this because I want to know. 837 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:42,600 Speaker 2: I want to be able to say with certainty at 838 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,440 Speaker 2: the next event I go to where there are three 839 00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:48,799 Speaker 2: people and well, let's get the you know, we'll get 840 00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:51,360 Speaker 2: a couple of advertisers and share them. But I'm going 841 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,120 Speaker 2: to get a salad too, and you're going to get 842 00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,560 Speaker 2: a You're going to get a Miller High Life, but 843 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,000 Speaker 2: you're going to get in a Groni which costs twenty bucks. 844 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,040 Speaker 2: How do you what's the best way to deal with 845 00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:03,440 Speaker 2: all that? 846 00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:06,400 Speaker 3: So it really depends on your relationship and the people 847 00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:10,600 Speaker 3: that you how comfortable you are. So if you're really 848 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,040 Speaker 3: close friends and you know a few dollars here or 849 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:15,040 Speaker 3: there doesn't matter. You may want to split it three 850 00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:19,960 Speaker 3: ways easily. But if you feel two out of the 851 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:20,680 Speaker 3: three people are. 852 00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,239 Speaker 2: Drinking, I want to interrupt that. Sure if you're splitting it, 853 00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,480 Speaker 2: I mean, I know if you're a decent human being, 854 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:30,480 Speaker 2: you brothers won't happen. But if you're like in like 855 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:34,920 Speaker 2: a Jerry Seinfeld cast member or character, if they're splitting 856 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,880 Speaker 2: the check, even like you're going to order more expensive 857 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:41,799 Speaker 2: stuff to get a better deal, like George Costanza would 858 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:45,120 Speaker 2: do that, and then you get bill creep. You get 859 00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:47,480 Speaker 2: it creeps up and up because everybody's doing that. 860 00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,839 Speaker 3: That is correct, That is correct. I have seen that, 861 00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:53,160 Speaker 3: and that can only get you so far. Okay, eventually 862 00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:55,920 Speaker 3: I will not pay off, so I think. But I've 863 00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,120 Speaker 3: been in a situation where two out of the three 864 00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:01,440 Speaker 3: people were drinking and the person at the table wasn't 865 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:07,800 Speaker 3: and they they offered to divide it. They offered to 866 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:10,080 Speaker 3: pay the third, but the other two were cognizant and 867 00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:12,000 Speaker 3: we're polite and said, no, you didn't have a drink. 868 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,160 Speaker 3: It's all right, we're going to We're going to pay 869 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:14,640 Speaker 3: for the drinks. 870 00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,440 Speaker 2: Is it impolite to address that issue at the outset? 871 00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,120 Speaker 2: Was that okay to decide beforehand? 872 00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,080 Speaker 3: It is okay if you if you know, if you're 873 00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:25,759 Speaker 3: comfortable and you and you are close to people, or 874 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:28,080 Speaker 3: you're comfortable and you've set that expectation. 875 00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:30,600 Speaker 2: Prior I would I say it, I really want separate checks? 876 00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:34,520 Speaker 2: How many? How many separate checks can you get before 877 00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:38,200 Speaker 2: that's too many for the server? It's ridiculous. I know 878 00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:41,800 Speaker 2: a server who refuses to give separate checks over four people. 879 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:44,560 Speaker 3: I think it's more a restaurant policy. I'm not sure 880 00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:51,040 Speaker 3: if it's a server was ye, so if it's. If 881 00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:54,360 Speaker 3: it's a large group, you may want to just VENMO 882 00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:56,480 Speaker 3: to one person and they're going to take care of it. 883 00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,440 Speaker 3: And then there's always but there's always a shortfall that 884 00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:02,080 Speaker 3: is correct or you set that expectation before going in, 885 00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:04,200 Speaker 3: or you say, you know what, do you guys mind 886 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:05,920 Speaker 3: if we get a separate check or the two of 887 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,400 Speaker 3: us can Yeah, it's really. 888 00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:10,680 Speaker 2: I'm always going to opt for the separate check because 889 00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:11,920 Speaker 2: I want to get what I want to get and 890 00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:13,560 Speaker 2: I want to pay. I'm happy to pay for it, 891 00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:17,440 Speaker 2: and I'm not I'm also happy to every once in 892 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:23,040 Speaker 2: a while split the thing. But I just like, I 893 00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:26,239 Speaker 2: guess it makes me sound cheap, but not necessarily because 894 00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:30,160 Speaker 2: I may be the one getting the twenty dollars NEGRONI 895 00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:32,360 Speaker 2: and I don't want to feel like I'm putting the 896 00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:33,719 Speaker 2: other person out, So I'm going to opt for the 897 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,080 Speaker 2: separate check. I want to make sure you have enough time. 898 00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,440 Speaker 2: There's only one minute. So you're so, so, so fantastic. 899 00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:43,680 Speaker 2: If somebody wants some organization or a family or parent 900 00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:46,759 Speaker 2: wants to get in touch with you, tell everyone how 901 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:48,719 Speaker 2: to do that well. 902 00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,160 Speaker 3: If anyone wants to reach us, they can reach us 903 00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,759 Speaker 3: at our website, New England School Offprotocol dot com. They 904 00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,680 Speaker 3: can reach us through our contact page or email us 905 00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:01,560 Speaker 3: at info at New England School of Protocol all and 906 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,960 Speaker 3: we will be happy to answer any questions that we have. 907 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:07,560 Speaker 3: We also have our group class session a group class 908 00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:12,800 Speaker 3: schedule part of me on our website for children, for adults, corporations. 909 00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:14,200 Speaker 3: You can reach us. 910 00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,360 Speaker 2: Email all right, and you may not be able to 911 00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:19,240 Speaker 2: remember that, so if you want to get that again, 912 00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:21,560 Speaker 2: what you do is you go to Night's Side on 913 00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:25,759 Speaker 2: demand and listen to this again. You don't, I think 914 00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:28,120 Speaker 2: you can fast forward to the end to get that address. 915 00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:30,239 Speaker 2: You are so fantastic, And there are other things to 916 00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:33,680 Speaker 2: talk about, like interpersonal etiquette, a way to speak to 917 00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:36,000 Speaker 2: each other in different situations. We haven't addressed, so we'll 918 00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:39,960 Speaker 2: have to have you back. Thank you so much for 919 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:43,879 Speaker 2: coming in. I can't thank you enough. 920 00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:45,399 Speaker 3: Thank you great to be here. 921 00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:46,120 Speaker 2: It's WBZ.