WEBVTT - Elftastrophe

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<v Speaker 1>Mojo in the morning show. The phone numbers eight four

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<v Speaker 1>four Mojo Live. The text is nine five five zero zero.

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<v Speaker 1>Shannon had something crazy happen at her house yesterday.

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<v Speaker 2>You call it an elf tastrophe, an elf emergency.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, you got to label that, by the way,

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<v Speaker 3>as the title, Zach is there an elf hospital.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, let me tell you Anna, So we have three

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<v Speaker 4>elves in our house. Okay, we have Rice Krispy Tree,

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<v Speaker 4>the og that came for Lucy when she was three

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<v Speaker 4>years old. We have candy Cane sprinkles, and then Wes

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<v Speaker 4>and his kids have Freddy. So Freddy is now a

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<v Speaker 4>part of our crew. Plus three elf pets. So it

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<v Speaker 4>is a it is. The elves are busy in our

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<v Speaker 4>house every single night. And so earlier in the week,

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<v Speaker 4>the elves were, you know, up to their mischief and

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<v Speaker 4>they were digging through our couch cushions, and so there

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<v Speaker 4>was stuff. Their little butts were sticking up from you know,

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<v Speaker 4>the couch cushions. Their heads were down there, and there

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<v Speaker 4>was all sorts of stuff that they brought up, like

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<v Speaker 4>money and legos and old food and NRF gun.

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<v Speaker 2>Bullets and all the things.

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<v Speaker 4>So that that was what they got into well, my

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<v Speaker 4>naughty but very cute dog. Bow decided that he was

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<v Speaker 4>hungry and he felt like elf for breakfast, and so

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<v Speaker 4>he ate the elves that had created a scene on

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<v Speaker 4>the couch. He ate he ate the two girl elves.

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<v Speaker 4>Freddy was elsewhere.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean I'd eat some candy cane sprinkles. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>So they were in really, really, really bad shape. And

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<v Speaker 4>any parent knows you are not allowed to touch the

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<v Speaker 4>elves or they lose their magic and they cannot go

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<v Speaker 4>back to the north pole at night and tell Sannah

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<v Speaker 4>you know about the behavior in the house that day.

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<v Speaker 4>So Smith, my eight year old, was just in full

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<v Speaker 4>panic mode when he got home and saw the elves

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<v Speaker 4>had been eaten by the damn dog. So he started

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<v Speaker 4>praying over them. Actually have a video of it. He

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<v Speaker 4>started praying over them, and then we had to perform

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<v Speaker 4>surgery with kitchen tongs and oven mits to put them

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<v Speaker 4>back together and clean them up. And then he told

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<v Speaker 4>me that he had seen somewhere that if you sprinkle

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<v Speaker 4>them with cinnamon, you you, they can get their magic.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't have kids yet.

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<v Speaker 3>Elfloor okay, fathers.

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<v Speaker 5>Sprinkling okay, yeah, yeah, and then maybe yeah, but I

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<v Speaker 5>don't want it to stem their outfits when they go

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<v Speaker 5>back to the North and Santa's going to be like,

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<v Speaker 5>what the heck.

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<v Speaker 6>Are you?

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<v Speaker 2>Did you make this up?

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<v Speaker 7>No, I swear to do this.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I'm gonna guys.

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<v Speaker 3>Got his face.

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<v Speaker 2>I swear he made this up. They're still in every

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<v Speaker 2>search it up didn't work.

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<v Speaker 4>Yep, they are. They look great. They went back to

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<v Speaker 4>see Sannah.

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<v Speaker 3>We got as well. We gotta post that video.

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<v Speaker 2>That is no, we are, We're we can post it

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<v Speaker 2>on the story, but you're not posting it.

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<v Speaker 5>Why not?

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<v Speaker 3>Why?

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<v Speaker 8>I look like holy hell in that videos. I have

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<v Speaker 8>no makeup on, I have all my face creams and

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<v Speaker 8>my skin is sagging to the floor. No wait, you

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<v Speaker 8>can post Hannah story so it disappears after twenty four hours, Bianca,

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<v Speaker 8>and that is it.

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<v Speaker 3>Everyone's gonna see it anyways.

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<v Speaker 2>If we four hours on the story on my face, if.

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<v Speaker 9>We sprinkle cinnamon on those cheeks where they lived in

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<v Speaker 9>Heaven's self conscious a whole.

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<v Speaker 2>In this video, I literally looked like my grandmother.

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<v Speaker 3>Let's do this.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's no filter it so Shannon looks No, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to filter, looks like a like a grown man.

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<v Speaker 3>Story.

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<v Speaker 2>That's it all right?

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<v Speaker 1>Eight four four Mojo Live eight four four six six

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<v Speaker 1>five six five four eight What was your elf task?

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<v Speaker 1>Would you call it an elf tastrophe? Elf tastrophe? What

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<v Speaker 1>was your elf tastrophe? What? What happened to your your elf? That,

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<v Speaker 1>by the way, is honestly the reason why I'm happy

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<v Speaker 1>that the the kids are past the elf stage of

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<v Speaker 1>things that becomes crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>It is so funny.

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<v Speaker 4>Yesterday the elves painted everybody's toenails in the house, everybody, everybody.

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<v Speaker 1>You said something interesting, you said that Wes's two kids

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<v Speaker 1>have elves.

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<v Speaker 4>They have an elf Freddy yep, that they've had since

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<v Speaker 4>they were babies, since they were babies, and they still

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<v Speaker 4>like that still.

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<v Speaker 2>Goes on still, I thought already back to the.

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<v Speaker 3>North Pole, we had a couple.

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<v Speaker 9>Yeah, now you know we're cheaper than other ones where

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<v Speaker 9>it was a little because you bought at a dollar from.

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<v Speaker 4>Let me tell you how we've got we got. We

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<v Speaker 4>had one elf raised Krispy Tree. Mojo knows this was

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<v Speaker 4>you know, our original one. Well, then Andrew and I

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<v Speaker 4>got divorced, and so Rice Krispy Tree had to go

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<v Speaker 4>between two houses and.

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<v Speaker 2>There was a mess up there was a.

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<v Speaker 10>Mess up, and so we had to another elf had

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<v Speaker 10>to come, actually both of us first it was but

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<v Speaker 10>another elf had to come, and Lucy was like, that

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<v Speaker 10>is not Rice Krispy Tree.

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<v Speaker 2>So we were like, oh, this is another.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a new one. Hey, Gloria trying to explain

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<v Speaker 1>this very do before we talk about the elf. Don't

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<v Speaker 1>you want to see Shannon sagging skin?

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<v Speaker 2>You guys know.

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<v Speaker 3>What's going on.

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<v Speaker 11>Good morning. I just wanted to come and that. This

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<v Speaker 11>was the first year that I did the elves sing

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<v Speaker 11>for my kids. I never wanted to be a part

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<v Speaker 11>of it, but my daughter's at that age where she's

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<v Speaker 11>going to get older. I'm like, let's just do it

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<v Speaker 11>one year. I will never do it again because of

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<v Speaker 11>my animals, not because of the mischief, not because of

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<v Speaker 11>the alves. Literally the first day that I did it,

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<v Speaker 11>I did the one where he was hanging from the balloon.

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<v Speaker 11>My son's cat was jumping mid air attacking it. It

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<v Speaker 11>got on the ground. My golden doodle thought it was

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<v Speaker 11>his baby, grabbed it. I had to chante him around

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<v Speaker 11>the house. It was like a nightmare. I even have

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<v Speaker 11>pictures every day when I set it up. My son's

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<v Speaker 11>cat is like just there, like Kee thinks he's a

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<v Speaker 11>part of it.

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<v Speaker 7>He loves it.

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<v Speaker 1>Like it used to be that your animals hated Christmas trees.

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<v Speaker 3>Now they hate the elves, the alf.

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<v Speaker 11>And it's the animals. I'm like, I can't every day

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<v Speaker 11>I'm like struggling because they're trying to get this alf.

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<v Speaker 11>I'm like, I'm done.

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<v Speaker 1>I get it. And by the way, you didn't do anything.

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<v Speaker 1>The elf did it?

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<v Speaker 11>Yeah, the elf, that is.

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<v Speaker 3>And that elf may decide not to come back to your.

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<v Speaker 2>Home next year, which so sad.

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<v Speaker 1>Which wuld be very sad, but you know what, sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>that elf needs to go to a home that needs

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<v Speaker 1>What's going on, Katie.

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<v Speaker 12>My elf he ate my elf had off?

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<v Speaker 3>Wait? Wait, hold on your elf?

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<v Speaker 10>My dog?

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<v Speaker 7>Your dog ate my dog ate my elf had on?

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<v Speaker 3>No, So so you have an elf without a hat?

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<v Speaker 9>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Well I got it back from the dog, did you, Katie?

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<v Speaker 1>Katie, who you in the car with? Wait, you're not

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<v Speaker 1>not Katie. You're Ellie, aren't you. You're Ellie Katie's mom

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<v Speaker 1>with daughter Ellie. How old are you Ellie nine? How

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<v Speaker 1>did you get the hat bag? Did the dog have

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<v Speaker 1>to poop it out?

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<v Speaker 6>No? How I grab it out of his mouth.

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<v Speaker 1>Gosh, dangerous And what's your what's that naughty dog's name?

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<v Speaker 13>Matt?

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<v Speaker 5>What's your?

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<v Speaker 12>We have a grinch elf which is named the Grinch.

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<v Speaker 10>We have the elf the dog.

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<v Speaker 12>Wait, what's the other elf?

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<v Speaker 11>Name is Candy Kim?

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<v Speaker 12>We have two elf pets.

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<v Speaker 6>The dog is was it in.

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<v Speaker 12>The elf pets?

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<v Speaker 6>And then the boxes gun drop?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, you got to protect the elf.

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<v Speaker 1>You got to make sure that the elf stays up

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<v Speaker 1>so that nobody can get to it.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, make sure mommy does that for you. Thank you

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<v Speaker 3>Katie for.

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<v Speaker 2>Calling in Mery Christmas? Christmas?

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<v Speaker 3>Take care, guys. What's going on? How you doing? Kevin?

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<v Speaker 7>Good?

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<v Speaker 3>My elf?

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<v Speaker 7>Uh? So? I took him for He liked to ride

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<v Speaker 7>in the front of my dunk tuck on the grill

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<v Speaker 7>in the winter. We were going to the es Curve

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<v Speaker 7>in the winter time. Somebody lost the metal garbage can

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<v Speaker 7>in the poor elf got.

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<v Speaker 3>N Kevin, you are a bastard.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, do you know those kids that are

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<v Speaker 1>traumatized when they see an elf on your front grille

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<v Speaker 1>thinking that you hit the elbow?

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<v Speaker 3>What an evil man you are?

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<v Speaker 7>He wanted the cool.

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<v Speaker 1>Why does it not surprise me that Kevin's got his

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<v Speaker 1>own elf. What's going on?

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<v Speaker 3>Debbie?

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<v Speaker 6>Hey, good morning morning. We bought one of them. We

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<v Speaker 6>bought one of those knockoff elves, and my kid named

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<v Speaker 6>it Elphis. He's a big Elvis fan. And we lost it,

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<v Speaker 6>so we had to and I looked everywhere to get

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<v Speaker 6>one that looked just like him, and I couldn't find it.

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<v Speaker 6>So we got to replacement elf and we told him

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<v Speaker 6>it was a substitute elf, like the substitute teacher.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 10>I don't think.

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<v Speaker 7>I don't think he bought an.

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<v Speaker 11>He was skeptical that last year.

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<v Speaker 1>Where do you get knockoff elves at you Amazon?

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<v Speaker 11>I think it was fine.

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<v Speaker 6>I think it was five below.

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<v Speaker 3>Debbie, Debbie, Yeah, go blow your nose? Is it sonic?

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<v Speaker 5>Yes?

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<v Speaker 9>Good morning? That right next to the dancer press that

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<v Speaker 9>don't pay attention to him.

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<v Speaker 13>Okay, Yeah, So I have the best Elf on the

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<v Speaker 13>shelf story. We had Engelbert, and we couldn't figure out

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<v Speaker 13>where to put him, so we my husband threw him

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<v Speaker 13>up in the light picture and once he was up there,

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<v Speaker 13>his legs hit the light bulb. We started smelling this

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<v Speaker 13>burning elf has caught on fire, kitchen tongs and then

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<v Speaker 13>wrapped his legs for emergency surgery.

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<v Speaker 7>So that he had a camp for.

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<v Speaker 1>Crazies on it. What a funny story. Hold on, last call, Candy,

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<v Speaker 1>what's up Candy?

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<v Speaker 12>Hi, longtime listener, first time calling.

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<v Speaker 3>On the phone.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, Candy, are you a human or are

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<v Speaker 1>you an elf? Are we talking to the actual elf

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<v Speaker 1>calling us up right now?

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<v Speaker 11>Well, I mean I'm.

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<v Speaker 12>About the size of an elf, but I am human.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, what's going on?

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<v Speaker 11>Okay?

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<v Speaker 12>So I have quite a few children. I collect them,

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<v Speaker 12>you know, like Pokemon cards, so we have I thought

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<v Speaker 12>the one year, it would be really cute to put

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<v Speaker 12>our elf in the shower, like on the little shelves,

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<v Speaker 12>you know, and put soap and stuff and put him

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<v Speaker 12>in there like he was taken a shower. And my

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<v Speaker 12>kids went in there and they refused to They were

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<v Speaker 12>scared to go into the bathroom and refuse to use

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<v Speaker 12>it because they said our ouse.

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<v Speaker 11>Was a pervert.

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<v Speaker 3>That's funny. Why is the elf taking a shower with

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<v Speaker 3>little kids?

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, That, by the way, is going to

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<v Speaker 1>be one of those smart that's going to be a story.

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<v Speaker 1>There's going to be an expose on the local news stations,

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<v Speaker 1>and parents watch out there's an elf in showers here.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you Candy, You have a great day. Merry Christmas.