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Speaker 1: Was up. Everybody, Welcome in After Show podcast. It is Tuesday.

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Speaker 1: Justin here. I hope you had a great long weekend.

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Speaker 1: Hope you got the day off yesterday. If you did not,

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Speaker 1: I am sorry. I did enjoy it. It was cold,

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Speaker 1: it was snowy, but it was a good time and

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Speaker 1: a busy weekend. I'll get to that in a moment,

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Speaker 1: but as always, want to say thank you to listening

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Speaker 1: to this podcast for tuning in, especially if you listen

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Speaker 1: to the Billy and Lisa Show and then you listen

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Speaker 1: to the after Show. We appreciate it. It is a

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Speaker 1: companion podcast. I do say that even though I go

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Speaker 1: off on tangents and talk about whatever the hell I want.

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Speaker 1: But remember you can always join the after show leave

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Speaker 1: it talk back. I feel like I don't get enough

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Speaker 1: for the after show. I feel like a lot of

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Speaker 1: you have a lot of things to say or ask

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Speaker 1: or whatever join the conversation. So remember you could always

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Speaker 1: leave a talk back anytime of the day, weekend, whatever. Hi, Justin.

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Speaker 1: It's me again. I just left a message and I

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Speaker 1: didn't have enough time to get it all in, but

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Speaker 1: I wanted to say I have an upcoming dental procedure.

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Speaker 1: And I'm going to put my ear buds in with

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Speaker 1: you guys on so that I can get the procedure

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Speaker 1: done and be relaxed by listening to you. I know,

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Speaker 1: you guys come my nerves. So thank you, thank you,

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Speaker 1: and also just wondering if you guys still talk to Manny,

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Speaker 1: maybe you could give us an update on the app

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Speaker 1: Chore podcast. Thank you. Oh well, first of all, good

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Speaker 1: luck on your procedure, and thank you for listening to us.

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Speaker 1: We love being anybody's escape or entertainment. That's what we're

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Speaker 1: here for. Consistency. I guess you could say we here

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Speaker 1: every day, five days a week. You can always count

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Speaker 1: on that. If you don't hear us live, you can

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Speaker 1: always listen on the podcast, so on any platform, but

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Speaker 1: especially the iHeartRadio app. As far as Winnie talked to

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Speaker 1: her last week, she's doing good. She has her podcast,

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Speaker 1: you can check that out. I'm actually helping her with

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Speaker 1: some audio and stuff because she has to like build

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Speaker 1: a demo tape. I guess if you will a sample

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Speaker 1: of what she does, what she sounds like, you know,

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Speaker 1: for jobs, you know what I mean. So I'm helping

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Speaker 1: gather that stuff for Winnie. So she can put it

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Speaker 1: together and she can send it out to different places

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Speaker 1: for work. So yeah, all is good. I mean, it's

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Speaker 1: just you know, we've talked about this endlessly. I know

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Speaker 1: that people have a lot to say about different things.

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Speaker 1: But it's all good, man, It's all good. No love

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Speaker 1: loss with Winnie. I think she said that on her podcast,

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Speaker 1: and I'll say that right here. You know, she gets it,

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Speaker 1: we get it. It is what it is. Change has happened,

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Speaker 1: and it is what it is. And just real quick,

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Speaker 1: I will say before I move on from this that

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Speaker 1: I have seen some comments and people saying about Riley

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Speaker 1: talking on the show, and you know, things like why

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Speaker 1: is she talking? But you got rid of Winnie. Remember

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Speaker 1: the company eliminated that position essentially, So Riley is not

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Speaker 1: a fourth mic, as Winnie was right, She's not a

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Speaker 1: part of the show on air. Her job is to

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Speaker 1: run it off the air, to run the board. She

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Speaker 1: can't do that from the phone screener place, so she

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Speaker 1: doesn't answer the phones anymore. She literally runs the show

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Speaker 1: just like Winnie did. And once in a while we

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Speaker 1: will include her in the conversation because she is a

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Speaker 1: young female and that's definitely what we are missing. On

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Speaker 1: the show. You know what I mean. But I guess

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Speaker 1: the company, they have their plans, they do what they do.

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Speaker 1: It is what it is. It sucks, but yeah, that

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Speaker 1: position was not filled with Riley. She is still making

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Speaker 1: not much money, more money than she was making, nothing

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Speaker 1: compared to when he was making. So all is well,

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Speaker 1: we move on. I guess this weekend had a great weekend.

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about a couple of things. I

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Speaker 1: went to a baby shower one of my best friends

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Speaker 1: growing up, Bobby's Surprise. He is having a baby now.

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Speaker 1: He is the last one of the guys, last one

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Speaker 1: of our friends to have a kid. We never thought

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Speaker 1: it was gonna happen, and it was actually like shocking

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Speaker 1: to us because he's such a great guy and he's

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Speaker 1: going to make a fantastic dad. But it's never too late.

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Speaker 1: He is going to have a baby and is coming

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Speaker 1: in March, and his name is Bobby Surprise, and they're

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Speaker 1: not finding out what the sex is, so it's literally

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Speaker 1: baby surprise. So it was a dope baby shower. My

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Speaker 1: wife said it over and over again. It was a

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Speaker 1: Jack and Jill. It was at a brewery, but they

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Speaker 1: have the bar and then they have like the big

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Speaker 1: room and they rented that room out. There was so

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Speaker 1: much food and shout out to his lady's fan. They

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Speaker 1: all listened to the show. It was great to talk

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Speaker 1: to them. Zeb was there. They know Zeb. They follow

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Speaker 1: ZEB two, so it was it was awesome. It was great.

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Speaker 1: The food was I ate so much food this weekend.

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Speaker 1: I was like living my best life. I had three

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Speaker 1: steak and chicken steak and cheese subs. They had a

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Speaker 1: full buffet of food which included steak and cheese with

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Speaker 1: the rolls and you can make your own sub. I

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Speaker 1: had three. And then there was the party on Sunday

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Speaker 1: for my son. I had all this pizza. It was

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Speaker 1: just fantastic. No shame. I feel like I've deprived myself

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Speaker 1: so much. I'm pretty happy with the way that I

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Speaker 1: look right now, so listen, it's all good. Two days

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Speaker 1: in a row not good, but I enjoyed it when

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Speaker 1: I ate it. But big shout out to Bobby and

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited for him. So all the guys were there.

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Speaker 1: ZEB was there, my friend Mike, Chris. We all reunited.

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Speaker 1: You know, we all have families, we all have kids.

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Speaker 1: That's what happened. It happens right. Like I remember years ago,

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Speaker 1: before we had kids, we went out every single Friday night.

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Speaker 1: We go to like a recovery meeting, and then we

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Speaker 1: go out to dinner, We go away for a night.

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Speaker 1: It was unbelieva. It was so much fun. But then

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Speaker 1: we had kids, and you know that stuff has to stop,

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Speaker 1: well stop being as as common as it was. Definitely

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Speaker 1: not every week, but it's hard. You know. My friend

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Speaker 1: Chris has three daughters, my friend Mike has two sons.

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Speaker 1: I have two kids. It's not easy, but it was

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Speaker 1: great to see them on Saturday night. So we look

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Speaker 1: forward to baby surprise and then yesterday, I'm sorry, Sunday.

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Speaker 1: Yesterday was my son's birthday. But we had his party

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Speaker 1: on Sunday at the Boys and Girls Club. We've had

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Speaker 1: it there before. It's a fantastic place to have a

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Speaker 1: birthday party. First of all, January, finding a location not easy,

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Speaker 1: not easy when it's freezing out and like we've done

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Speaker 1: the trampoline park. We rented out an indoor baseball turf

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Speaker 1: area before. That was cool. But you know, he has

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Speaker 1: a lot of friends in school out of school, so

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Speaker 1: to accommodate thirty to forty kids, and their parents. You know,

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Speaker 1: way do you go for that? The Boys and Girls

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Speaker 1: club we can rent for three hours. We have a

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Speaker 1: pool time, we have time for the gym, and they

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Speaker 1: have like a full kitchen set up and it was perfect.

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Speaker 1: It was absolutely perfect, and my wife like crushed it.

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Speaker 1: You know, she's a crazy person. This is her thing, right,

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Speaker 1: throwing parties for her kids. It's she goes the extra mile.

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Speaker 1: If you listen to the show, you know that she

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Speaker 1: goes the extra mile every single time because her kids

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Speaker 1: are everything to her. I mean, they are everything to

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Speaker 1: both of us. But there's nothing like a mom's love.

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Speaker 1: So the theme was The Sandlot because my son loves

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Speaker 1: that movie. So she got the Sandlot cake. I did

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Speaker 1: post a picture. It's unbelievable. Shout out to Los Cafe

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Speaker 1: and Bakery. It's and Lawrence. That's they do the cake

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Speaker 1: every year. They killed it once again with the baseball cupcakes,

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Speaker 1: which was cool. And she set up in the in

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Speaker 1: the kitchen area. There's like a little dining room, okay,

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Speaker 1: and then there's a window where you can see into

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Speaker 1: the kitchen, so it looks like a concession stand. So

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Speaker 1: she set it up like a concession stand. She had

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Speaker 1: the She bought a chip rack for all the chips.

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Speaker 1: She had all the Sandlot memorabilia everywhere, the cake, the cupcakes.

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Speaker 1: It was really really good. I brought a TV so

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Speaker 1: the guys could watch the game at three o'clock. It

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Speaker 1: was from one to four, but at three o'clock we

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Speaker 1: turned the game on and then we went to my

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Speaker 1: house and watched the rest of it. But my son

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Speaker 1: had a great time. All of his friends were there.

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Speaker 1: He had to sleepover with his friends at his house.

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Speaker 1: So it was good. Man, it was really good. Nine

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Speaker 1: years old, just insane. I put up a post a

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Speaker 1: Facebook memory, and I told the story on the air too.

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Speaker 1: In twenty seventeen, I got the job on Kiss went

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Speaker 1: to wait on the Maddie Show. He called me, and

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Speaker 1: then the next day my son was born, So it's

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Speaker 1: like it was crazy. I was like, yeah, I want

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Speaker 1: the job, but yeah, I can't come to work tomorrow

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Speaker 1: because my son's being born. So I can't believe it's

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Speaker 1: it's been nine years. Wild What a ride. If you're

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Speaker 1: a parent, you know this, You know the feeling. I

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Speaker 1: think the biggest thing about having children for me is

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Speaker 1: they give me purpose, you know, and put aside the

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Speaker 1: love and all of that that they give you and

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Speaker 1: you give them, and what that feeling is like. It's

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Speaker 1: also the purpose, you know, my whole life. I thought

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Speaker 1: to myself, you know, I don't want to die, right,

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Speaker 1: nobody wants to die. You fear death, You think about

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Speaker 1: when your time comes. You don't even want to think

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Speaker 1: about it. But when I had children and I found

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Speaker 1: out what that love was like, it kind of made

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Speaker 1: the thought of dying easier, if that makes sense, because

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Speaker 1: my purpose is to raise them, is to give them

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Speaker 1: the best life, to make sure that they're okay, and

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Speaker 1: if I can do that, it just makes the end

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Speaker 1: of my life that much easier, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: So now I don't fear it as much because I

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Speaker 1: know what my purpose is and I'm doing it to

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Speaker 1: the best of my ability and raising my children and

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Speaker 1: making sure that they're good people and that you know

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Speaker 1: that they have the best opportunities that I can give them.

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Speaker 1: And that's my job. My job is to is to

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Speaker 1: make sure I'm okay, and in my specific case, that's

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Speaker 1: that I stay clean, my wife too, that we stay

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Speaker 1: clean and sober, and that that's number one, and that

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Speaker 1: we continue to show up for our family, for our kids,

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Speaker 1: show up to work, and uh, build a good life.

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Speaker 1: And I think we've done a good job so far.

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Speaker 1: It's definitely not easy. There's always ups and downs, especially

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Speaker 1: in a long term marriage, but you know, we make

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Speaker 1: it work and we try to make time for for

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Speaker 1: ourselves and and you know, work through the difficulties. Definitely

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Speaker 1: not easy, but I couldn't ask for a better life.

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Speaker 1: So that was on Sunday, and then yesterday was his birthday,

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Speaker 1: so you know, I got up, I went to the gym,

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Speaker 1: I worked out, and then when I got back, we

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Speaker 1: took them sledding, so that was fun. There's a school

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Speaker 1: in Salem that has like a nice hill. That was fun.

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Speaker 1: And then they had a McDonald's party and uh, and

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Speaker 1: that was it. That wrapped up the long weekend. So

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Speaker 1: there was some There was a lot of friends and

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Speaker 1: a lot of family, which is always a good thing.

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Speaker 1: I watched a lot of football too, obviously, and then

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Speaker 1: the football games all obviously this weekend co pats crazy.

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Speaker 1: You know, my dad comes up every Sunday. He has

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Speaker 1: since the day my son was born. My dad has

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Speaker 1: shown up every single weekend. And that's something that connects

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Speaker 1: us as football, you know, because he comes up all

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Speaker 1: year round, but during football season he's there every Sunday

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Speaker 1: watching the game with me, with the family, with the kids,

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Speaker 1: and it's great. It's really great, you know. And I

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Speaker 1: remember the when he first started coming up when I

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Speaker 1: lived in Haverol, he would come up on Sundays, we'd

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Speaker 1: watch football, and I remember when it first started happening.

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Speaker 1: I was like, wow, this is like, this is like

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Speaker 1: a special thing with my father and I, you know,

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Speaker 1: watching the game together. It was kind of because we've

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Speaker 1: had a very rocky relationship. You know. You can imagine

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Speaker 1: my father took the brunt of my addiction. Seriously, the

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Speaker 1: brunt of it. You know. My mom and dad divorced

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Speaker 1: when I was probably fifteen or so. You know, my

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Speaker 1: mom was in was, you know, active addiction. She left

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Speaker 1: to go get treatment and she didn't come back. You

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Speaker 1: couldn't come back to that house because I was using.

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Speaker 1: My father was a mess. It was just it was

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Speaker 1: just a crazy, crazy environment. So she ended up leaving

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Speaker 1: and trying to build a new life for herself. And

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Speaker 1: then my father was kind of left, you know, in

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Speaker 1: shambles basically. And what made it worse was me, who

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Speaker 1: was all messed up. So that's when I went really downhill.

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Speaker 1: And you know, you want to talk about putting someone

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Speaker 1: through the ringer. My dad, man, he stuck with me

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Speaker 1: through it all, but all the stealing and lying and

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Speaker 1: just just all around abuse. But you know, his thing

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Speaker 1: was always family first. You know, he kicked me out

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Speaker 1: of the house, but he never pressed charges on the

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Speaker 1: things that I did. He was always there for me,

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Speaker 1: even when you know I stole all of his money.

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Speaker 1: You know, there's a story that I share when I

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Speaker 1: if I tell my story, you know, in a recovery setting,

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Speaker 1: and I tell my entire story, there's one story in

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Speaker 1: particular that I always go back to, and it was,

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Speaker 1: you know, because when I started getting locked up, you know,

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Speaker 1: that was the thing to do when I was younger.

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Speaker 1: You know, I was looking back and I think when

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Speaker 1: I was a teenager. You know, a lot of kids

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Speaker 1: think about what college they're going to go to, you know,

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Speaker 1: graduating high school. You know, that's that's what you know,

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Speaker 1: growing up turning eighteen, you know, you know, and for me,

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Speaker 1: it was, you know, when am I going to go

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Speaker 1: to jail? Right? I know that sounds crazy, but the

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Speaker 1: environment that I grew up in everyone that I knew

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Speaker 1: went to jail, and like you weren't a man until

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Speaker 1: you got locked up. If you never did time, you

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00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,800
Speaker 1: weren't taken seriously. So that's what happened. I ended up getting,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's committed to dys. I was in Youth

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Speaker 1: Youth Services uh DSS. I got pulled out of the home.

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Speaker 1: I was putting foster homes. And then when I turned seventeen,

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Speaker 1: I started going to adult jail Cambridge, bill Rick of Plymouth.

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Speaker 1: And there was one time in particular, now my dad,

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Speaker 1: every time I get locked up, he would be there,

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Speaker 1: you know, he would come and visit me and support me,

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Speaker 1: even even when I was, you know, completely destroyed. But

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Speaker 1: the one time in particular I got it was in

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Speaker 1: December and I started stealing money from him, stealing check

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Speaker 1: from him. He didn't know. I would take a check

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Speaker 1: and I would write it to myself and I would

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Speaker 1: cash it. And so I was doing this for a

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks and I was, you know, draining his

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Speaker 1: bank account and he didn't notice at first. And then

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Speaker 1: it got to a point where I wrote a check

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Speaker 1: for one hundred dollars for myself and it wouldn't. It wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: It wouldn't like go through with the bank. And so

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Speaker 1: I knew I had depleted all of his money, and

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Speaker 1: so I went back and I stole another check and

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Speaker 1: I wrote it for fifty dollars, and I went into

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Speaker 1: the bank, a different bank, and there was insufficient funds.

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Speaker 1: And so I went back a third time and I

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00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,280
Speaker 1: wrote the check for twenty dollars and it cashed. I

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00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:39,520
Speaker 1: literally took all of his money right before Christmas. And

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Speaker 1: then I got locked up for something else. I had warrants.

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Speaker 1: I got locked up, I got sentenced. I got a

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Speaker 1: year in prison. So I'm in there and obviously nobody

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Speaker 1: is writing, nobody's calling. I'm not getting any visitors. And

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Speaker 1: the reason why I really share this story is because

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Speaker 1: you know, when you're in there, you got to play

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Speaker 1: a part in a sense. I mean, I was who

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Speaker 1: I was, you know, I'd been in and out of

296
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Speaker 1: the air. I knew everybody. But when you're in there,

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00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,560
Speaker 1: it's a lot of joking around. It's a lot of

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Speaker 1: tough guy shit. It's all like nonsense, you know. And

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Speaker 1: so I'm in there one day and they call for visits.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking I was playing cards and they called

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Speaker 1: my name and I looked up, like, I have a visitor?

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Speaker 1: Who's that? And the guys that were with me were like, oh,

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Speaker 1: who's you gotta chick, you gotta chick visiting you? Like,

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00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,760
Speaker 1: who are you talking to? And I'm like, oh, well,

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00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,920
Speaker 1: maybe it is. I gotta go see who it is,

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00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,360
Speaker 1: you know, tough guy. So I get up and I'm

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Speaker 1: walking down. I'm kind of like, you know, talking shit

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Speaker 1: with the other guys. And I walked down to the

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Speaker 1: visiting room. And when I walked into through the door,

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Speaker 1: I'm looking around and then I see my father and

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Speaker 1: my brother who was very young, we have a nine

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00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:49,000
Speaker 1: year age difference, sitting there waiting for me, and I

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00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:53,800
Speaker 1: just remember like starting to cry. Right this wave of

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00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,720
Speaker 1: emotion started to hit me, but you know, I was

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00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,320
Speaker 1: trying to hold it together. I walked up, you pick

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00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,000
Speaker 1: up the phone. You can talk to him because of

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00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,680
Speaker 1: his class, and my father just said something to me like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I just want you to know that we

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Speaker 1: love you and we just want you to get better.

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Speaker 1: And I just lost it, man, Like I started crying

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Speaker 1: in the day room, like I couldn't hold it together.

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Speaker 1: You know. There I was mister tough guy. You know,

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Speaker 1: I took every dollar from this man's bank account. He

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Speaker 1: couldn't even buy a Christmas gift for anybody in his life.

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Speaker 1: Never mind, my brother could not buy a gift for

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Speaker 1: him because I took all the money. He didn't press charges.

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Speaker 1: He showed up to visit me. He put money on

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Speaker 1: my account and he said, I love you, son, I

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Speaker 1: just I just want you to get better, you know.

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Speaker 1: So that's just one story with my dad. There's so

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Speaker 1: many more. And I continued using after that a lot,

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Speaker 1: and it got to a point where he ended up

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Speaker 1: just kicking me out of the house and just told

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Speaker 1: me he never wanted to see me again. And I used,

335
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:51,160
Speaker 1: I used, you know, longer after that, and eventually I

336
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,480
Speaker 1: got arrested, went to jail, and he had he had

337
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,680
Speaker 1: basically washed his hands with me at that point. And

338
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,240
Speaker 1: so when I got clean in two thousand and eight,

339
00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:59,560
Speaker 1: my dad didn't didn't speak to me for I think

340
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,800
Speaker 1: the first two years. You know, he would talk through

341
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,280
Speaker 1: my mom, like he would say to my mom, I'm

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00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:06,200
Speaker 1: just not ready, Like I'm just not ready. I don't

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00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,600
Speaker 1: know when we be ready. I don't know if I'll

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00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,720
Speaker 1: ever be ready. Because you know, think about that, man,

345
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,560
Speaker 1: Think about It's not just the money. It's not just

346
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:17,960
Speaker 1: that his credit was completely destroyed. It was the pain

347
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:22,880
Speaker 1: of watching your son kill himself over and over and

348
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:26,480
Speaker 1: over again. And this kid who he always believed in me, right,

349
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:30,280
Speaker 1: he always knew that I was smarter than I put on,

350
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,120
Speaker 1: you know, because he raised me. He knew I did

351
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,920
Speaker 1: good in school. He knew I had a lot of potential.

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00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,160
Speaker 1: That was something that my teachers always always said to

353
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 1: my parents, to me, is he just has so much potential.

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00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,560
Speaker 1: He just needs to apply himself. So think about from

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00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,800
Speaker 1: a father's standpoint, you know, knowing what your son could be,

356
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:54,040
Speaker 1: the potential that he does, that he has, but he

357
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,960
Speaker 1: just wastes it all away with drugs in the streets

358
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:02,040
Speaker 1: and bullshit. It's hard for him. But after a couple

359
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:06,359
Speaker 1: of years after getting clean, he finally decided to see me,

360
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,640
Speaker 1: and that's when we started to rebuild our relationship. And

361
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 1: you know it, it hasn't gone back to this like

362
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:17,600
Speaker 1: really great father in some relationship. Listen, we we we talk.

363
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,880
Speaker 1: I made amends to him, that's part of the process,

364
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:25,320
Speaker 1: you know. But he never he never could fully say

365
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,240
Speaker 1: that he was proud of me, and that was a

366
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,480
Speaker 1: big deal for me. I did tell this story on

367
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,919
Speaker 1: the air because it was semi recent, actually was last summer.

368
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Speaker 1: Through all of my success that I've had staying clean

369
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,919
Speaker 1: and going back to school and my family and the

370
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,919
Speaker 1: job and my house and just all these things that

371
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,720
Speaker 1: I that I did. You know, when I was younger,

372
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,600
Speaker 1: my dad would would talk to me and he'd tell

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Speaker 1: me over and over again, like you have so much potential.

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00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,560
Speaker 1: You know, you need to go back to school, Like

375
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,120
Speaker 1: that's gonna be the key. You need to get an education,

376
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,879
Speaker 1: you need to get a job, all this stuff. And

377
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,159
Speaker 1: I never did any of it. And then when I

378
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:03,240
Speaker 1: got clean, I was able to do these things and

379
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 1: more right and more. Like I went to school, I

380
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,200
Speaker 1: got a four year degree, I was on the dean's list,

381
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:12,360
Speaker 1: I had a very high GPA. I got graduated with honors,

382
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 1: and then you know, getting the internship and the job

383
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,800
Speaker 1: and all these things. And he was there for it all.

384
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:20,560
Speaker 1: But he never could like say to me that he

385
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,919
Speaker 1: was proud of me, even though I knew he was,

386
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,920
Speaker 1: because he would talk to other people and tell them

387
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,440
Speaker 1: how proud he was of me. I would hear it.

388
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,600
Speaker 1: I would hear it from family members, from family friends.

389
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,160
Speaker 1: They'd say to your father is so fucking proud of you, Justin,

390
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:39,600
Speaker 1: And I'm like, why doesn't he just tell me? But

391
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,800
Speaker 1: it was just a different generation, I think. But last

392
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:46,159
Speaker 1: summer he finally did it. Man, he finally did it.

393
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,680
Speaker 1: He came it was it was on my birthday. Actually,

394
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,959
Speaker 1: he came up to my birthday. He gave me a

395
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,920
Speaker 1: card and he said some words to me which I'll

396
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:57,560
Speaker 1: never forget of, how proud he is for me and

397
00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,240
Speaker 1: that I was what I was able to do. And

398
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 1: he said something like, you know, I'm a better father

399
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 1: and a better husband than he could ever be, and

400
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,880
Speaker 1: he's so proud of me. And I was like, man,

401
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,960
Speaker 1: My friend Mike was right there and he couldn't believe

402
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,760
Speaker 1: it either, Like it came out of nowhere. So you know,

403
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 1: it takes time, man, Sometimes it takes that long, right,

404
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,760
Speaker 1: how long seventeen years to hear you know that your

405
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,159
Speaker 1: father's proud of you? Even though I know he is.

406
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:27,120
Speaker 1: I knew he was. Yeah, it just it got tough

407
00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 1: for me because I'll give you one particular example. I

408
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:34,639
Speaker 1: was asked to be the commencement speaker at Northern Essex

409
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 1: Community College. I graduated from there in twenty ten or

410
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,439
Speaker 1: twenty eleven, I forget anyway, they asked me to the

411
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 1: commencement speaker, so I went and did it, and they

412
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 1: recorded it and they posted it on YouTube and my

413
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 1: dad watched it with Nanny, my mother in law, and

414
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,399
Speaker 1: he didn't say anything to me about it, you know,

415
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,000
Speaker 1: and I didn't bring it up to him, and it

416
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 1: really bothered me, you know, like I just wanted him

417
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 1: to say so bad, like that was great job kid,

418
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 1: like great job son, so proud of your son, and

419
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:10,199
Speaker 1: he didn't, and it really bugged me. I almost got

420
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,960
Speaker 1: like resentful about it because another part of me thought

421
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,640
Speaker 1: to myself, I made amends to him. I know he

422
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 1: loves me, but is he's still holding on to the past,

423
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:24,960
Speaker 1: which is okay, that's okay, Listen, everybody, everybody you know,

424
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:30,199
Speaker 1: in their own time forgives. I knew that, but like,

425
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,679
Speaker 1: was he holding onto something from the past and is

426
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 1: that why? And you know, it turns out that wasn't it. Man.

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Speaker 1: He's just he's kind of old school. And he finally

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Speaker 1: got to a moment where he could tell me that

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Speaker 1: he was proud of me. And I'm super grateful for that.

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Speaker 1: So it was great watching the game with him this

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Speaker 1: past Sunday. You know, he'll he'll be up this Sunday

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Speaker 1: and he bets right. He's not like a big better,

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Speaker 1: but he gambles on the games. He's short money, like

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Speaker 1: a hundred bucks. So it's so funny. My friends love

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Speaker 1: him because every week he comes up and watching him

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Speaker 1: why the game when he's up or when he's down.

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Speaker 1: You know, he gets all excited when he's up and

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Speaker 1: then he gets all down when he's not winning. It's funny,

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Speaker 1: but it's just show money. He's just having fun. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I love you Dad. Anyway, that's it for today. God

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Speaker 1: I went on a tangent there, but yeah, listen. If

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00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 1: you ever want to join the after show, please leave

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00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 1: a talk back. I'd love to hear from you guys

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00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 1: about anything going on in your life, any questions you

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00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 1: have about the show, about anything this This podcast is

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00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:30,479
Speaker 1: fully transparent as best as I can. You know. I

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00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,920
Speaker 1: love I love meeting people that listen to this podcast

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00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,439
Speaker 1: and listen to the show. I love meeting people when

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00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,160
Speaker 1: they say, hey, I'm a big fan of the Billy

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00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: and Lisa show. And I'm also an after Army after

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Speaker 1: show army member. I love that so much. I love

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Speaker 1: being a part of your life, so send you talkbacks

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00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,919
Speaker 1: in Tomorrow is Wednesday, so I'll grab someone to join

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00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 1: the podcast, so I'm not just yapping myself. It was

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00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 1: kind of you know, we're back after a long weekend.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to bother anybody, but I'll grab somebody

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Speaker 1: tomorrow for your entertainment until we talk again. Peace,