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Speaker 1: So throw at a big weekend man. He had. You know,

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Speaker 1: obviously the weather this weekend was crazy, super nice January,

3
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Speaker 1: but it was obviously really nice, and so they decided

4
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Speaker 1: it was going to be a big day for baby

5
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Speaker 1: Walker and have his big first beach day.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy. He has gone on like he went. He's

7
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Speaker 2: been the ivy peer a couple of times and gone

8
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Speaker 2: some walks, but it's we don't really do the setup

9
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Speaker 2: of like you know, the beach chairs. You don't really

10
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Speaker 2: want to get the water to touch you over there.

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Speaker 2: Such a shame. So we have a big wagon that

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Speaker 2: we were gifted for the baby shower. It's got those

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Speaker 2: giant wagles on it. Yeah, and Haley was I said, okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm down, let's do this. And she went out and

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Speaker 2: got him a little wetsuit, a wet suit, not at

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Speaker 2: but you know what I mean, like att Yeah, a

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Speaker 2: little last guard. It's not a wetsuit whatever. It's just

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Speaker 2: like really is it. And it has a guy going

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Speaker 2: scuba tag c surfer. Yeah, imagine baby It's a little

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Speaker 2: impossible thing about. He had had Winnie the Pooh stuff

21
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Speaker 2: on it, which I wasn't really a fan of. He's

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Speaker 2: a baby, some cooler gear like ne Oler gear, likeirl

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Speaker 2: gear cool. You don't think so, I just I don't know.

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Speaker 1: He's a baby.

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Speaker 2: He's a baby. Can you it just looked?

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Speaker 1: What does that mean?

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Speaker 2: He didn't look gat. I didn't like it on him.

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Speaker 2: I didn't like it. That's weird.

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Speaker 1: That's weird that you're saying that he's a baby.

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Speaker 3: I saw a picture. I thought it was super cute.

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Speaker 2: So he so we got that going and we decided

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Speaker 2: to go to Peb And this was I when I

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Speaker 2: used to go to the beach and Peb And not

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Speaker 2: even that it was busy, because we found a spot. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we paid like forty dollars to park, but not only

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Speaker 2: it was just the fact that, like, we get there

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Speaker 2: and I was that guy, like is that I opened

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Speaker 2: the popped the trunk, I got the beach chair on

39
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Speaker 2: my back. I had to get the tent out for

40
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Speaker 2: a walker because we have a tent now form so

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Speaker 2: we can go in there so doesn't get the sun

42
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Speaker 2: on him, your beach dad. And then I had the

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Speaker 2: wagon which had a cooler in it, his his diaper

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Speaker 2: bag in it, another beach chair in it, his sunglasses,

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Speaker 2: his little hat that he had his sun hat and

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Speaker 2: I'm walking down Garnet with the wagon and I just

47
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Speaker 2: felt like such a door.

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Speaker 3: They Nebraska? Where did this family go?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god?

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Speaker 3: Where did they hear from?

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Speaker 2: And I felt like we were we looked like we

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Speaker 2: were one hundred years old in some of these kids,

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Speaker 2: like there we were. There was There was a couple

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Speaker 2: of people sitting in front of us to probably in the

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Speaker 2: early twenties, and you could just tell they were looking

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Speaker 2: at us, like, look at the old people.

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Speaker 1: That's where you're No, it's not.

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Speaker 2: You have to accept you're you're now the dad who's

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Speaker 2: irresponsible for all this stuff. Oh my god, it's embarrassed.

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Speaker 2: But this is where we're at and it's gonna get worse.

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Speaker 2: It's awful. It's awful.

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Speaker 3: And so they like start playing with beach toys. Now

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Speaker 3: you're loading shovels, buckets, sand toys. Just wait till you

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Speaker 3: have a beach or a park, birthday party and all

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Speaker 3: that crap.

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Speaker 2: You got a hold awful.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're definitely that dad.

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Speaker 1: No, remember you used to go to the beach and

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Speaker 1: like you know, like look cool football and like look

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Speaker 1: for girls and stuff. That was fun.

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Speaker 2: Well, it was a long gone we were walking on

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Speaker 2: the beach and she was holding him, and like this

73
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Speaker 2: crew was playing football and one of them was bumped

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Speaker 2: into her by accident, and I was like, I was

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Speaker 2: just and like that used to be you. It used

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Speaker 2: to be bumping into people holding babies and crowded, no

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Speaker 2: care in the world, man, And just like the whole

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Speaker 2: I always like feared the whole process of taking everything,

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Speaker 2: having to immediately like bathe him and like the sunscreen,

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Speaker 2: wait for sunscreen his head. Chiley didn't want to, but

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Speaker 2: I wanted because his hat kept falling off, try trying

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Speaker 2: to keep on his sunglasses. Oh my god, I mean

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Speaker 2: a baby. It was a nightmare holding his head up.

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Speaker 2: Come on, almost three months old, because tomorrow is three

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Speaker 2: months hold.

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Speaker 3: That up already, dude, really he's a baby.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but but yeah, it was, it was, it was,

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Speaker 2: it was, it was. It was fun to have him there.

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Speaker 2: It just made me feel like I was a thousand

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Speaker 2: years old. And then we walked back and just get

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Speaker 2: in the car. It just I always hated the people

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Speaker 2: that would take forever when you're waiting for a spot.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, tick forever to low up the car. And

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Speaker 2: then that was me waiting and you feel the pressure

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Speaker 2: because you feel bad that they're waiting. I'm trying so hard.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't get the I couldn't get the tent down.

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Speaker 2: You never can for the wagon. Oh no, I get

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Speaker 2: mad at Haley for no reason. Hey can you do this?

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Speaker 2: The baby starts crying. It was a nightmare situation. And

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Speaker 2: he's two. Like twenty five year olds are in their

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Speaker 2: car waiting. They want to go to the on.

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Speaker 1: This idiot. Old man's like, come on, dude, it was awful.

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Speaker 1: Put the card away.

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Speaker 2: It was awful.

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Speaker 3: You're there.

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Speaker 2: We finally got home for this long beach day and

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Speaker 2: go in the water. We did to my feet it

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Speaker 2: was freezing. Yeah, that's the thing that sucks because it's

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Speaker 2: so cold at night. So it was still really cold. No,

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Speaker 2: he didn't go. Yeah, we just held him. Haley held him.

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Speaker 2: We walked along like the beach and like she held him,

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Speaker 2: but he wasn't going on. I wouldn't want him in there.

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Speaker 2: It's too cold. He's got rhynoids disease. He does not Dino,

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Speaker 2: you can't freezing. I have it. He got it from me.

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Speaker 2: It's a shame. All So we get we get home

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Speaker 2: and my wife says Hey, I got to go to

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Speaker 2: the store real quick, and I all right, I got him.

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Speaker 2: So I'm watching him and he starts doing the face

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Speaker 2: where it's all red. He makes a little fist and

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Speaker 2: he starts going and I know he's pooping poops coming,

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Speaker 2: and his poops have been explosive there there. He's had

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Speaker 2: a lot of blowouts, like his data that he's had

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Speaker 2: a lot of blowouts. And the new thing that I

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Speaker 2: do that my wife hadn't really caught on to until

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Speaker 2: recently is whenever he we're together and he's pooping and

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Speaker 2: he has a big blowout, I make like a big

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Speaker 2: scene about it. I'd be like, oh no, here we go, Haley.

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Speaker 2: And then she comes over because she thinks it's cute

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Speaker 2: when he's pushed me he's like trying to poop, making

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Speaker 2: that face anything. And then I go, all right, let's

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Speaker 2: tag team this. And then she basically takes him and

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Speaker 2: then I like, we have his wipes are in a

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Speaker 2: little wipe warmer, so as they have cold wipes on

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Speaker 2: his butt. Oh my god, we just get soft dude.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, he does. He does get a warm tower.

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Speaker 2: I've never been heard of that he does get a

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Speaker 2: warm tower after a bath. O, my god, come on, man,

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Speaker 2: I'm not he's come on, you're making soft raise whist boy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't raising boy.

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Speaker 2: So like those wipes of the fridge freezer toughly up.

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Speaker 1: That's awful.

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Speaker 2: You don't even get a dry towel. It sounds unsafe.

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Speaker 1: It was the dogs town. I don't care the dogs towel.

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Speaker 2: Come on, man, that's my I'm sure my dad's pissed

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Speaker 2: right now. I would be. You think I wipe style. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we didn't use wipes. Yeah, we didn't use I did

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Speaker 2: myself and I was three, mysel. Fetch yourself a leaf.

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Speaker 2: I didn't take ahold of the back yard. Talk about that.

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Speaker 2: That's good cat. He always has to tell my mom

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Speaker 2: to tell me what he just told me.

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Speaker 1: I never got this white warmer.

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Speaker 2: So I got this white warmer. So she'll stand and

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Speaker 2: she like does the takes his pantsil. There's nothing more

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Speaker 2: annoying than putting his clothes back on, Like it's easy

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Speaker 2: to take. Putting his pants on is such a nightmare.

156
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Speaker 2: I'll do a onesie all day over pants. It sucks.

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Speaker 2: So she takes his pants off. All I really do

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Speaker 2: when the tag team is lift up the warmer so

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Speaker 2: that she could grab the wipes, and then she'll hand

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Speaker 2: me the dirty diaper and I'll throw it away.

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Speaker 3: That's not how team works. Text, in my eyes, doesn't

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Speaker 3: like one person does half in, the other person him in.

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Speaker 1: You know, are you so you're like a hype man almost?

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Speaker 2: I guess so hip hop. She's like the the main

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Speaker 2: em C and I'm the guy that's the hypeer and

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Speaker 2: buy and you're not really doing nothing. And then every

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Speaker 2: once while, I'll like do a thing where she knows

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Speaker 2: she's to the right of me, and I'll like look

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Speaker 2: over her shoulder and be like, do you need anything.

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Speaker 1: Like you're moving and shaking like I'm doing something. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know you think she hasn't caught on, so you're

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Speaker 1: doing that, but everybody knows that you're just you're doing

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Speaker 1: everybody knows what you're doing.

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Speaker 2: Come on. So she goes to the store. He poops,

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Speaker 2: and the poop happened and he hadn't started crying yet.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like, if he's not crying, I'm not changing this.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna wait. And it wasn't a blowout to the

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Speaker 2: sense where like it's you know, it's everywhere which is

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Speaker 2: happened before, because he's only on a he's got that,

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Speaker 2: he's got that Whinny the Pooh thing on right now.

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Speaker 2: So she comes back. It was like ten twelve minutes.

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Speaker 2: She comes back. He's not gonna get a rash, he's fine.

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Speaker 2: Save the emails. Exactly what happens. Save the emails. And

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Speaker 2: she comes back and I start to act as if

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Speaker 2: he's pooping. He's pooping, but he had already pooped. Oh

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Speaker 2: my god. So then I go, hey, let's tag team this.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, and she grabs him and takes him and

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Speaker 2: she goes and she starts to do it, and she goes,

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Speaker 2: are you sure he just pooped? And I said yeah.

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Speaker 2: She goes, it doesn't seem like this just happened. And

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Speaker 2: I don't know. Let me get the warm wipes for you.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: And then she starts to realize. She starts to say,

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Speaker 2: did you wait for me? Did he poop before? And

195
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Speaker 2: I said, and I said, I don't know if I'm

196
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Speaker 2: not Haley. And because I said it like that, she

197
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Speaker 2: got mad at me and says that she doesn't want

198
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Speaker 2: to tag team this anymore, and I need to do it.

199
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Speaker 2: And then I said that's insane. He clearly likes his

200
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Speaker 2: mom doing this. You have this mastered. She hasn't mastered.

201
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,080
Speaker 2: She holds both of his legs up, she does the wipe,

202
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Speaker 2: she has the whole diaper thing.

203
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Speaker 1: It's right, that's how you change the diaper. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: you're you're a monster. I'm not a monster. That being said,

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Speaker 1: I did the same thing, guy. Yeah, that's my guy. Listen.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing worse than changing a poopy diaper, right obviously,

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Speaker 1: And so if I knew my wife was minutes away

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Speaker 1: from being in it, you know, I'm not going to

209
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Speaker 1: wait an hour. God, that would be horrific. But if

210
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Speaker 1: I knew she was on her way home, and for

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Speaker 1: some reason, the baby would know and they would like

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Speaker 1: poop on my watch. And I'm like, come on, you

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Speaker 1: couldn't weigh five more minutes until she got home?

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Speaker 2: Thank you?

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Speaker 1: And so I may or may not wait as well,

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Speaker 1: like and like, baby, just pooped? What do you do

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Speaker 1: you want me to or can you you know I've

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Speaker 1: been here this whole time, and then like just pooped?

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Speaker 1: Can you you're there?

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Speaker 2: She's already up, she's walking around the house, and then she.

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Speaker 1: Can you come get can you can you, Kim, I

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Speaker 1: need some help here.

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Speaker 3: It's a one person job.

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Speaker 1: I gotta go. I can't get take it up.

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Speaker 2: It's not you.

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Speaker 3: Don't need a wipe person.

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Speaker 1: You literally can't get up.

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Speaker 3: You can't get up. You have legs.

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Speaker 2: That's how they were holding the baby.

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Speaker 3: I know your legs still work to put away.

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Speaker 1: She would take him every time, she would take them

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Speaker 1: every time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my wife will get in there. It's very out change.

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Speaker 2: I changed poopy diapers. I did, Yes, I did yesterday

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Speaker 2: in the morning when she was I was doing. But

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Speaker 2: but but it's easier to tag team.

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Speaker 1: You got to stop that tag team. That's ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: Done is up.

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Speaker 2: We'll see. Yeah, but I mean, but, I mean, we

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Speaker 2: all know Scott probably never let her husband change a diaper.

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Speaker 2: What does he know about changing?

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Speaker 3: I mean, he was a stay at home father.

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Speaker 1: Even before the baby.

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Speaker 2: Even before the baby. I'd never let Robert do it,

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Speaker 2: thank you. That's why it's just as easier as one

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Speaker 2: person job. Get out of the way. Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: well do it when.

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Speaker 1: It was at home.

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Speaker 2: But when I was there, I was doing myself monstrous

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Speaker 2: as well.