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Speaker 1: Let's get started with a Minnesota goodbye, and we're going

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Speaker 1: to start off. This is not an email. We're a

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Speaker 1: little short on emails today. But we've got something kind

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Speaker 1: of interesting. What is an unspoken rule that you learn

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Speaker 1: the hard way after you move in with a romantic partner.

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Speaker 1: So let's get started. One, everybody needs time alone. It

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Speaker 1: is healthy to have a hobby or activity that doesn't

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Speaker 1: involve your partner. It is perfectly healthy to be in

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Speaker 1: the same room and do separate things without interacting with

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Speaker 1: each other.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I do that a lot. I will like play on

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Speaker 1: my phone and she'll be watching TV or whatever. So

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Speaker 1: I get that one. You don't actually fight about the thing,

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Speaker 1: you fight about the meaning behind the thing. Now that's

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Speaker 1: kind of interesting. Susan and I are ongoing fight is

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Speaker 1: this is stupid. But she wears contacts and they're dailies

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Speaker 1: and she takes them out and she is forever since

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Speaker 1: she's worn these, missed the trash can, leaves them on

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Speaker 1: the floor by the toilet. I found one the other night,

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Speaker 1: stuck to the toilet seat because she'll take it off

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Speaker 1: while she's on the toilet, try to drop it in

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Speaker 1: the toilet and it lands on the toilet seat, and

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Speaker 1: it annoys the piss out of me because it's like,

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Speaker 1: put it in the trash can. She's like, I did.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, clearly you didn't. It didn't jump out

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Speaker 1: of the trash can and land on the floor. And

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Speaker 1: she's like, well, I didn't know. And I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you know how much it annoys me to walk in

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Speaker 1: the bathroom and see a contact glimmering on the floor.

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Speaker 1: Can you do a better job? But I don't know

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Speaker 1: if that's about the contact or about the thing of

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Speaker 1: just being sloppy. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, no, I can think it's about the lesson

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Speaker 3: the fact that she's not putting away and it's upsetting you.

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Speaker 1: Because if I did something that I knew really pissed

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Speaker 1: her off, I would stop doing it. Like if I

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Speaker 1: was whistling. If I whistled everywhere I walked around the

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Speaker 1: house and she's like, you know what, it really bugs

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Speaker 1: me when you whistle, I'd be like, oh, okay, Then

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Speaker 1: I would do it to piss her off, but I

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Speaker 1: would stop Another one. You have to define what clean

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Speaker 1: means for both of you. If you don't agree with

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Speaker 1: the baseline, you will constantly argue about whether the house

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Speaker 1: is clean. Is a sinkful, the dirty dish is clean?

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Speaker 1: If everything else is clean? Is the dishwasher? Is it

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Speaker 1: clean if you leave the dishwasher or like you know,

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Speaker 1: it's finished but not loaded. Unloaded? What about a plate

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Speaker 1: by the coffee table.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I've noticed I have a handful of friends that

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Speaker 4: like them and their significant other if they live together.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes they're both a messy person where you know, there's

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Speaker 4: like receipts on the floor and everything is just like

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Speaker 4: kind of a jumble, or there's just like.

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Speaker 2: Hair everywhere or whatever.

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Speaker 4: And I've noticed that those people are like blind to

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Speaker 4: their mess but they can only be with someone else.

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Speaker 2: Who is just as messy as them.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so like same thing like clean, yes, but on

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Speaker 4: the other side of the spectrum dirty as well. Like

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Speaker 4: you can't be with someone who is a different level

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Speaker 4: of dirty than you.

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Speaker 2: They have to be in the same level. Same with

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Speaker 2: like clean.

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Speaker 1: I think I'm clean, but cluttered. Oh yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: leave dirty anything. I don't leave dirty cups or glasses

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Speaker 1: or plates around the first time I went over to

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Speaker 1: Susan's house she was in college, there was a glass

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Speaker 1: of old milk on her nightstand us and it was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, it had dried up and curdled down the sides,

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Speaker 1: and that was like gross, and that kind of turned

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Speaker 1: me off right away. But you know, we're fine now.

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Speaker 3: I realized once I started living alone again that I

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Speaker 3: am much cleaner of a person than the last person

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Speaker 3: I was living with. And it really did drive me insane.

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Speaker 3: And it wasn't that he wasn't clean, because he actually

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Speaker 3: was pretty clean. I am just like a very perfectionist

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Speaker 3: kind of clean. Yeah, And so it was really driving

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Speaker 3: me insane. And now, like I come home, there's not

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Speaker 3: a bunch of random shits sitting on the coffee table.

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Speaker 3: If there is, I know, it's like my own. And yeah,

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Speaker 3: it did drive me a little insane.

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Speaker 1: Another thing that when you move in with somebody here

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Speaker 1: things that you should agree on. Agree on whether it's

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Speaker 1: okay to talk to the other person if they're in

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Speaker 1: the bathroom so the bathroom door is closed, are you

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Speaker 1: able to walk in and talk to them or are

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Speaker 1: you allowed to stand outside and talk to them or

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Speaker 1: not at all. We never talk to each other in

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Speaker 1: the bathroom unless it's super urgent. Yeah, And it's never

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Speaker 1: never been so urgent that I remember that.

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Speaker 4: I feel the same way about like farting in front

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Speaker 4: of your partner. I know, people are like, oh, it

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Speaker 4: means it shows that I'm comfortable with you now, and

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Speaker 4: then it's like a bit and it's funny. I I

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Speaker 4: have never once farted in front of anyone I've dated

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Speaker 4: because for some reason, I'm just like I want the

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Speaker 4: mystery to stay.

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Speaker 1: I respect that, and we've had big discussions. People are

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Speaker 1: very passionate about that one.

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Speaker 3: I'm here to represent the public that like doesn't wish

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Speaker 3: that they farted a lot, but like have stomach issues. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: So like there are people who like, if you're not comfortable,

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Speaker 3: if your partner's not comfortable with you farting in front

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Speaker 3: of them, then like the relationship's not going to work

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Speaker 3: because like I have to get there with the next

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Speaker 3: person I date because my stomach hurts all the time. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And they just like have to know that that's like

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Speaker 3: the reality of how my system works.

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Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's you know, if that's how your

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Speaker 1: system works, and that's okay. It's kind of like if

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Speaker 1: you are, you know, missing a leg, your partner's is

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Speaker 1: gonna have to be okay with you need a ramp

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Speaker 1: in your house? Yeah, you know, so there are certain things.

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Speaker 1: It's like if you've got belly problems, I wouldn't be

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Speaker 1: able to say, like, h don't fart around me. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: what are you gonna get up every time and go

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Speaker 1: into the bathroom to do it.

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Speaker 4: I mean if someone fart in front of me, it

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Speaker 4: says more about me. If I'm pissed about it. I

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Speaker 4: just know me personally, I don't do it. But that's

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Speaker 4: just because I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I think and I respect that I

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Speaker 1: don't all the time because that's a funny bit. That's

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Speaker 1: a bit okay. Next one agreeing on a guest policy.

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Speaker 1: Somebody is always going to try to be more social

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Speaker 1: than the other, and it's important to find boundaries about

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Speaker 1: how many people can come over and how often, with

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Speaker 1: how much notice, and how much time is can they stay.

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Speaker 1: We have a good guess policy. We don't have a

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Speaker 1: lot of guests. But if somebody comes, you know, like

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Speaker 1: Susan's brother and his wife will come and they'll stay

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Speaker 1: for a week and they're fine, and they're the kind

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Speaker 1: of guests. It's like, you don't need to entertain us.

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Speaker 1: And they'll go to the casino and they'll go to

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Speaker 1: Canterbury Park and they'll go to whatever, and they're fine.

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Speaker 1: But after a week it's like, okay, good to see

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Speaker 1: ye another one. When your partner asked for the remote

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Speaker 1: for the TV they're sitting on it, chances aren't. That's

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Speaker 1: a weird one. And you need to set it aside

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Speaker 1: time for each other. Even though you're together every day,

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Speaker 1: you still need to go on dates, even though you

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Speaker 1: eat dinner together every night okay, and each of you

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Speaker 1: needs to get your own blanket. Snuggling all night is

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Speaker 1: not realistic because it's like you're with somebody new and

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Speaker 1: it's like, oh, I want to fall asleep in your arms,

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Speaker 1: and about three minutes later you're like, oh, you're.

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Speaker 2: Hot, touch me, sweating, non me.

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Speaker 4: I was sweat and holding my cat yesterday. I can't

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Speaker 4: imagine holding a human being for more than twenty minutes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think.

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Speaker 3: Also, something that like you don't realize once you get

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Speaker 3: like into the groove with your relationship in living with

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Speaker 3: someone for a while, is like you do really stop

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Speaker 3: paying attention to each other on a level that you

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Speaker 3: used to, because right now it's like the person I'm seeing,

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Speaker 3: we're never touching our phones like at all when we're together.

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Speaker 3: We're not even like glancing at them. And I just

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Speaker 3: think that that like goes out the window eventually, which

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Speaker 3: is fine, but it just like shouldn't go out the

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Speaker 3: window like.

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Speaker 2: Too really far, because then you.

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Speaker 3: Just like stop caring about the other person's like I

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Speaker 3: don't know, dass.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all right.

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Speaker 1: Now we're out of the emails, Kim writes in, and

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Speaker 1: we're actually gonna read this one on the radio because

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Speaker 1: I can to award it to you, Jenny, because I

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Speaker 1: really like this one, because it works for the show

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Speaker 1: and for the Minnesota Goodbye. It's a little bit long,

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Speaker 1: but here it goes. Since Dave and Vaughn have dogs

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Speaker 1: and Jenny dogg sits, here's a question. Is there an

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Speaker 1: unwritten rule about taking your dog on a walk and

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Speaker 1: not letting them do their doggy business either peer poop

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Speaker 1: in people's yards. We have an open park area with

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Speaker 1: paved paths for walking. I always head to the park

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Speaker 1: with my cockapoo because I've got a current neighbor and

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Speaker 1: one when I live in Saint Louis Park either yell

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Speaker 1: out their window or come running out of their house

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Speaker 1: asking me not to let the dog poop or go

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Speaker 1: to the bathroom in their yard. Dave, I make sure

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Speaker 1: I carry multiple poop bags. I always pick up after

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Speaker 1: my dog. Of course, I oblige my neighbor's request and

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Speaker 1: avoid walking that way when they're out. But I don't

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Speaker 1: mind if I see a dog going to the bathroom

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Speaker 1: in my yard, as long as their owner picks up

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Speaker 1: after them. But I'm a dog owner. I asked this

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Speaker 1: question as I walk my dog two or three times

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Speaker 1: a day. I get tired of going the same way

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Speaker 1: walk after walk. I hear you it'd be nice to

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Speaker 1: go on different routes, but that would mean walking on

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Speaker 1: neighborhood streets. I'm paranoid about my dog going to the

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Speaker 1: bathroom in somebody's yard. Who would have this issue? Since

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Speaker 1: I don't know if there's others in my neighborhood who

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Speaker 1: feel this way, I just avoid the whole thing altogether.

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Speaker 1: What do you guys think that is? Joe in Woodbury.

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Speaker 1: I don't mind if anybody's dog poops in my yard.

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Speaker 1: I'm not there at the window watching it, and if

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Speaker 1: they do, I know that the owner didn't encourage it

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Speaker 1: and they're gonna pick it up. Now, if I did

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Speaker 1: look out my window and saw somebody's dog pooping in

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Speaker 1: my yard and they kept walking, I would open my

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Speaker 1: door and say, hey, you need to come back and

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Speaker 1: clean that up.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say, I would say something if they

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Speaker 4: started leaving. But what are you supposed to do, like

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Speaker 4: tell your dog to hold its biscuits together?

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Speaker 3: Like come on, like they can. Hey, some pinches just

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Speaker 3: start like pulling their dog though.

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Speaker 2: Which then they poop in the street and they go

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Speaker 2: back for the dog. That that's the way to go either. No,

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Speaker 2: it's just let them poop.

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Speaker 3: My gosh, say, I've never had a problem when I

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Speaker 3: used to have a dog or the dogs I watch now.

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Speaker 3: I let them poop in people's yards and I clean

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Speaker 3: it up. That's just what I think people know. And

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Speaker 3: usually they poop on the side of the grass that's

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Speaker 3: like the street side, between the sidewalk and the street,

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Speaker 3: not like in the actual person's main yard.

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Speaker 4: Unless you're in like a suburb, then the mainyard is

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Speaker 4: kind of right on the road. But I think the

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Speaker 4: people who yell at you, can, you know, quit being

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Speaker 4: such a big fat goober.

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Speaker 3: Geez.

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Speaker 2: Okay, the break.

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Speaker 1: Last one, where like I said, we're on emails and

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Speaker 1: sometimes it happens that way, and that's fine. We would

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Speaker 1: love to hear from you. Send an email to Ryan's

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Speaker 1: show at katiewb dot com. It's always fun to open

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Speaker 1: up the emails and see what you have come up with,

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Speaker 1: so feel free to write in last one. Listening to

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Speaker 1: the last week's episode of Minnesota Goodbye and Dave's comment

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Speaker 1: about how it's hard to imagine how vast the world

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Speaker 1: is and was when we were exploring lands many many

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Speaker 1: years ago, and I think that's true. Still fascinating, how

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Speaker 1: when they sat out on the Oregon Trail back in

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Speaker 1: the eighteen forties or fifties or sixties, they would leave

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Speaker 1: from Saint Louis in May. And the reason they left

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Speaker 1: in May was because there was grass for the horses

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Speaker 1: to eat on the way there. And then later than that,

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Speaker 1: if you left in June, you wouldn't make it to

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Speaker 1: Oregon before the snowfell. Yeah, hashtag Donner Party, which they

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Speaker 1: didn't make it. That's why they had. They got stuck

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Speaker 1: in a snowstorm. Oh no, and they had to eat

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Speaker 1: each other. You know this right on the organ on

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Speaker 1: the Oregon trail the Donner Party. Have you never heard

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Speaker 1: of the Donner Party. So it was a bunch of

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Speaker 1: people they were immigrating to Oregon and they got a

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Speaker 1: little bit of a late start and they took a

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Speaker 1: shortcut which was not a good shortcut, and they got

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Speaker 1: stuck outside of Reno, Nevada on Donner Pass and they

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Speaker 1: could not get up the mountain to get down the

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Speaker 1: other side. So they got snowed in and they had

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Speaker 1: to they died, and they had to eat dead bodies. Yeah, anyway,

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Speaker 1: where was I so an? The world was vast back then.

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Speaker 1: It is not now. So this made me think about

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Speaker 1: the card game Chronology, which we regularly play at my

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Speaker 1: husband's family get togethers. I know you would love it.

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Speaker 1: I feel the same way when playing this game. But

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Speaker 1: it's more in fact that it's hard to imagine the

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Speaker 1: things that people did in year eight hundred and thinking

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Speaker 1: of that fact that humans have been around that long.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes when I'm driving, Sidney says, I also think about

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Speaker 1: what the road I'm driving on now probably looked like

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Speaker 1: even just a years ago all the time, do you really, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's hard to imagine and amazing to know that so

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Speaker 1: much is still going on that changes what we know today. PS.

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Speaker 1: Last time I wrote in, I said, hey fam, because

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Speaker 1: normally you chuckle at the deep cut, since I know

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Speaker 1: you don't like it when radio personalities say that. But

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Speaker 1: last time it pissed you off, and my mom texted

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Speaker 1: me letting me know that you pissed off Dave Ryan today,

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Speaker 1: I didn't mean to piss you off, Dave. I love

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Speaker 1: you all. Also shout out to my mom Jody Is.

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Speaker 1: She's probably listening to this before I get around to it.

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Speaker 1: You didn't piss me off at all, Sydney, I was

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Speaker 1: just being silly. I don't get if I got pissed

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Speaker 1: off because somebody said, hey fam. I just think it's

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Speaker 1: a really insincere thing from insincere radio people. Because you're

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Speaker 1: not my family. I've got my own family, you've got

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Speaker 1: your own family. You're not my family, but you're my friend.

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Speaker 1: I would definitely consider you a friend. And I like

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Speaker 1: a lot of my friends better than I like certain

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Speaker 1: people in my family. Here's one thing to think about

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Speaker 1: when you're out on a railrow old railroad bed trail.

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Speaker 1: Do you ever picture the trains they used to go?

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Speaker 1: I mean, think about this if you're on like the

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Speaker 1: Loose Line trail, or you're on the trail that goes

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Speaker 1: from Hopkins all the way to Victoria. That used to

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Speaker 1: be a train It was a train track.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I have walked on that trail. That's cool.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And the one you walked on, I think to

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Speaker 1: Shokapye a couple of months ago. Yeah, that was a

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Speaker 1: train track. And look sometimes and think about this. The

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Speaker 1: train tracks are mostly level, which means they had to

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Speaker 1: fill in gullies with massive amounts of dirt and gravel.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes these train tracks are so elevated above the

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Speaker 1: gully it's like, fuck, they had to use a lot

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Speaker 1: of dirt to fill this in.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for miles and miles and miles, miles and miles.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, think about that. So it's like, how did they

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Speaker 1: do that without, you know, powered steam shovels and bulldozers

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Speaker 1: and things like that.

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Speaker 4: I always think when I'm driving through like an industrial

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Speaker 4: area and you see like all of these old like

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Speaker 4: factories that still have the signs on them that say like, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, north Star blankets, right, north.

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Speaker 2: Star blankets are like winkles dry clean or whatever.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, And I always imagine like people in the

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Speaker 4: fifties wearing their cute little like dresses and heels, and

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Speaker 4: like walking up and down, like going to my receptionist

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Speaker 4: shift at Winkles Dry Clean, and then like walking in

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Speaker 4: and I just imagine like the dudes with the little

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Speaker 4: fedora hats and whatever.

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Speaker 2: And that's what I always do. I just try and

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Speaker 2: find sure.

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Speaker 1: I love that. If you if you like downtown Minneapolis,

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of old like in North Loop or

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Speaker 1: the Warehouse District, there's a lot of old signs that

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Speaker 1: are painted on the side of the building from probably

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Speaker 1: the twenties or thirties authorities, and it's like you can

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Speaker 1: still kind of read like bills electric services.

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Speaker 2: So gold middle flowers.

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Speaker 1: Right, what do you want to talk about? Send an

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Speaker 1: email to Ryan's show at KDWB at dot com and

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Speaker 1: we'll get you on the next Minnesota. Goodbye,