WEBVTT - Going to Bed Angry  

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<v Speaker 1>All right, it is Mojo in the morning. Yes, good

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<v Speaker 1>to have you guys here with us today. A couple

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<v Speaker 1>of things I thought were interesting I want to talk

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<v Speaker 1>about real quick. One is there was a study that

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<v Speaker 1>was just recently done that says that the whole theory

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<v Speaker 1>of couples should never go to bed angry is actually

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<v Speaker 1>they say bs. They say people never going to bed

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<v Speaker 1>angry isn't always the best advice for couples. Arguing late

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<v Speaker 1>at night can make things worse because people are tired, hungry,

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<v Speaker 1>and emotional, but experts suggest waiting until you're both calm

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<v Speaker 1>and rested to actually work out the argument is probably

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<v Speaker 1>the healthier thing to do. It's funny because of I

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<v Speaker 1>always have heard in therapists have always said, you don't

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<v Speaker 1>ever want to go to bed angry because it's going

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<v Speaker 1>to give you a bad night's sleep, and you know

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<v Speaker 1>all this stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>My therapist says totally the opposite. Yes, Mike, Karen who

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<v Speaker 2>actually going to see you later today? She said, especially

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<v Speaker 2>like West and I have learned this the hard way,

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<v Speaker 2>where we've tried to come to a resolution. If we're

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<v Speaker 2>having some sort of conflict and then it's midnight and

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<v Speaker 2>we're both just like exhausted and not our best. But

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<v Speaker 2>I like, I think it's better to separate a little

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<v Speaker 2>bit and process and calm down and then come back

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<v Speaker 2>the next morning and like finish whatever and that you

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<v Speaker 2>were talking about.

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<v Speaker 3>That's what the therapists say.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's so much better.

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<v Speaker 3>We can be angry.

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<v Speaker 4>We don't got to be best friends in cool bay

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<v Speaker 4>ya and set our differences. But you better say I

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<v Speaker 4>love you. Well, here's an interesting I'll go to sleep

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<v Speaker 4>and I say I love you.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't like you right now, I love you.

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<v Speaker 1>I always say that it's always better to just get

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<v Speaker 1>a little angry.

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<v Speaker 3>Section, right, huh. Ain't nothing wrong with that person.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, I will say this to you, And

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<v Speaker 1>I've talked to my therapist about this one. My therapist

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<v Speaker 1>always says, beware of the people that bring fights up

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<v Speaker 1>at night, right before bed, because usually those people are

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<v Speaker 1>trying to manipulate your sleep habits. And it's interesting because

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<v Speaker 1>I told him, Yeah, a couple of times Chelse and

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<v Speaker 1>I would get in fights because I'd bring something up

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<v Speaker 1>before bed, and he says, you better be careful. You're

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<v Speaker 1>trying to manipulate her sleeping And like, what do you

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<v Speaker 1>mean like, he's basically saying, you got a problem, bring

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<v Speaker 1>it up at three in the afternoon, Don't bring it

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<v Speaker 1>up at you know, nine o'clock at night or ten

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<v Speaker 1>o'clock at night. He says, you're manipulating her and her rest,

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<v Speaker 1>and he is, that's a little too much, bro.

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<v Speaker 3>Honestly, I are.

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<v Speaker 1>You intentionally not wanting her to get a good, nice sleep?

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<v Speaker 1>Throw Well, you don't necessarily think you are, but you are.

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<v Speaker 1>I think manipulation has an intentionality factor and on it.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'll be honest with you, I'd stop doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>And I realized that it made me healthier person to say, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a little, you know, upset by something at two

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<v Speaker 1>in the afternoon, you know, before the kids are home

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<v Speaker 1>and all that. Here's something interesting. Zip coding is a

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<v Speaker 1>new dating trend. There's a new dating trend called zip coding,

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<v Speaker 1>where people look up it's close to their own zip code.

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<v Speaker 1>So the idea of dating the local, because you don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to find yourself in a And we're going to

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<v Speaker 1>talk about something with Anna a little later this morning

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<v Speaker 1>on the show, because Anna is not a very good

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<v Speaker 1>zip coding person. But that's interesting. I want to know

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<v Speaker 1>if any of our listeners do that. Do you set

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<v Speaker 1>your range on whatever your dating app is to be

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<v Speaker 1>a lot tighter range because the idea that you don't

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<v Speaker 1>potentially want to find yourself driving forty five minutes to

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<v Speaker 1>an hour to go see the person. Because they say

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<v Speaker 1>that one of the reasons why zip coding is so

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<v Speaker 1>good is they find that the relationships last because people

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<v Speaker 1>will find themselves more comfortable in that.

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<v Speaker 3>And I like this.

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<v Speaker 1>This is one of those topics where I sat there

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<v Speaker 1>and I saw it and I thought, oh, this is

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<v Speaker 1>this is actually really good. A woman goes on a

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<v Speaker 1>date with a guy when he rejects. When she rejects

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<v Speaker 1>his advance chanswers, he asked her to pay him back.

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<v Speaker 1>She posted on Reddit. After spending a weekend with the

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<v Speaker 1>man who visited her, she received a text later from

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<v Speaker 1>him asking to pay for half of the weekend, a

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<v Speaker 1>total cost of about one hundred and six dollars, claiming

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<v Speaker 1>that she actually should pay for this because it didn't

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<v Speaker 1>turn out to be a great date. People on Reddit

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<v Speaker 1>are commenting on this saying, yeah, I think that you

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<v Speaker 1>should probably pay wow if the date didn't go necessarily

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<v Speaker 1>as planned, And then another person said that I don't

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<v Speaker 1>think you deserve to have to pay for it. If

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<v Speaker 1>he paid for it in the beginning, just because it

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<v Speaker 1>didn't turn out great doesn't mean that you should be

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<v Speaker 1>paying for it.

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<v Speaker 2>The risk you take going out on a date not guaranteed.

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<v Speaker 1>She claims that she already paid some of the expenses.

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<v Speaker 1>She said she paid seventy dollars at a bar, and

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<v Speaker 1>she had to pay forty dollars for parking, but the

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<v Speaker 1>extra hundred, bless you, the extra hundred and six dollars.

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<v Speaker 1>She didn't feel like she needed to pay because he

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<v Speaker 1>chose to put his card down initially for that.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, like ya, I said, that's the risk. Now's a

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<v Speaker 4>god f like that's what you. You go out, you pay.

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<v Speaker 3>For the date.

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<v Speaker 1>I like the whole before you go on a date

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<v Speaker 1>with somebody. I like the whole boy year, Are you

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<v Speaker 1>doing okay over there? This is cold and flu season, Michael,

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<v Speaker 1>I can you didn't turn your mic off and every

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<v Speaker 1>other MIC's on. Remember we're in a little studio here.

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<v Speaker 1>But I had a buddy of mine that you should

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<v Speaker 1>say or your money back. He used to tell girls

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<v Speaker 1>before he would go on the date. He would say

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<v Speaker 1>to them, I will promise you a great date or

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<v Speaker 1>your money back. And he said that he went with

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<v Speaker 1>girls and they were like, oh, okay, great, and they

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<v Speaker 1>thought that that was kind of fun, and it was

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<v Speaker 1>he would pay for everything that was on the date,

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<v Speaker 1>and he found that going into the date with that

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<v Speaker 1>attitude was them having more fun knowing, Okay, this is

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<v Speaker 1>actually going to be kind of cool. Yeah, he never

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<v Speaker 1>got his money back, and I actually use a single

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<v Speaker 1>guy still, so uh, texture here in nine five five

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<v Speaker 1>zero zero, going to bed angry is actually not the

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<v Speaker 1>good thing to do. My husband and I fight all

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<v Speaker 1>the time, and I actually think that when we're fighting

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<v Speaker 1>at night and we go to bed angry, we wake

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<v Speaker 1>up the next morning and carry it on to a

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<v Speaker 1>really bad work day.

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<v Speaker 3>Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>And then a couple other people here that say that Mojo,

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<v Speaker 1>I think Mojo needs a new therapist. Have a great day, everyone, Probably, Lee,

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<v Speaker 1>we were talking about going to bed angry. You wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to comment on that, Lee.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I just my mom always told me not to

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<v Speaker 5>go to bed angry because you never know, like what

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<v Speaker 5>are you or the other person is going to wake up?

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<v Speaker 3>You know, that's actually a really good point.

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<v Speaker 5>I get it with that guilt if God forbid that happen.

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<v Speaker 1>Could you imagine, honestly, that would be horrendous guilt to

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<v Speaker 1>have to go to UH and live with for the

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<v Speaker 1>rest of your life.

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<v Speaker 3>But I'll take my chances. I want a good nights. No,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm that way.

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<v Speaker 1>I actually feel that same way, and that's why I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>I got to work it out.

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<v Speaker 3>That's why I feel like.

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<v Speaker 5>Saying I with my husband all the time to make

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<v Speaker 5>sure that we're in a good.

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<v Speaker 3>Even if you don't solve it.

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<v Speaker 4>In my mind, like you never want to leave a

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<v Speaker 4>situation with aiding your heart everyone to go to sleep

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<v Speaker 4>with hating your heart, and by saying I love you

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<v Speaker 4>that releases some of it, at least in my opinion.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, Lee, I think angry sex is about sex too.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know if you think that, but what do

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<v Speaker 3>you think any

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<v Speaker 5>My kids are in the car, so I can't all right,

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<v Speaker 5>Sorry about that, Mom,