1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,920 Speaker 1: My friends seem to have the same kind of back 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:07,200 Speaker 1: and forth with their husband, my female friends about their husband, 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 1: whether sometimes they get upset or frustrated that he gets 4 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 1: to be the cool parent and they have to be 5 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:15,560 Speaker 1: the hardliner, and how it sucks because they want to 6 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,760 Speaker 1: be the fun one once in a while, and it's 7 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,040 Speaker 1: called the fun parent trap. 8 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 2: Justin, yes, and you were right, and you're. 9 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 3: Teasing of me. I am not the fun parent. 10 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 2: Like we just had this conversation weirdly enough on Monday 11 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,800 Speaker 2: where we were telling stories about how I didn't like 12 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 2: it when the kids spilled things, like I would lose 13 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 2: my mind if they made a mess of any kind. 14 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 2: Natalie would let them like make cakes and brownies, and 15 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 2: they would be like, I have this adorable picture of them, 16 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,319 Speaker 2: like filling a glass dish with brownie batter, and it's 17 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 2: all over their face because they've been licking this batchelts 18 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 2: and it's all over their hands. And that was when 19 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 2: I was gone on the road and I got angry 20 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,600 Speaker 2: because I'm like, yeah, because living with your mother, everything 21 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 2: is a mess. Like my wife is borderline of hoarder, 22 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,319 Speaker 2: as much as I love her, but it's just it's 23 00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 2: a lot of stuff, and so I just I have 24 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 2: a low threat should for mess beyond her now And 25 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:05,399 Speaker 2: it's made me a dullard of a parent just to 26 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 2: stick up my butt painting the butt guy to my 27 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:09,039 Speaker 2: kids for some reason. 28 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,639 Speaker 3: Do you know who's the fun pair? Between you and Shannon? 29 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 4: My wife would say I am, and you would say she, Well, 30 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:20,120 Speaker 4: I would say that she is, really yeah, because she's 31 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 4: much more creative when it comes to like things to do, 32 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 4: or she was always more she was always better at 33 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 4: putting together parties or plan you know, planning things for 34 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 4: the kids and stuff like that. 35 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 5: I was never that. It was because I never had that. 36 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 6: Who's the rule enforcer? 37 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 1: Like like growing up, my mom was the rule enforcer, 38 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: So my dad was the fun parent and that's the 39 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: way he learned. 40 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 2: You never got to hear like wait till your father 41 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 2: comes home. Or that was one of my first like 42 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 2: this is dumb, but not like the first pure moment 43 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 2: of joy, but it was a moment, the first moment 44 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 2: I felt like I'd arrived as a father and I 45 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 2: was doing something so like American in my mind. I'd 46 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:00,120 Speaker 2: bought a house, I was mowing my front yard. I 47 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 2: myself before I hired a gardner, like a real Americans. 48 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 3: Yes, like the tube top. 49 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 2: No, so I'm mowing the lawn and I turned off 50 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 2: the lawnmower just in time to hear my wife kind 51 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 2: of like scolding the kids, and they were kind of 52 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 2: like pushing back, and she goes, do you want me 53 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 2: to get your father? Everything's shut down? They go no, no, no, 54 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,119 Speaker 2: no no no. 55 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:21,359 Speaker 3: I was like, and I. 56 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:25,920 Speaker 2: Just was welled up with absolutely, Oh I'm doing it. 57 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 6: Yes, Yes? What about you, Gary? Are you the rule enforcer? 58 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 4: I don't think so, okay, And I think by default 59 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 4: that means I'm not. 60 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,919 Speaker 6: Right, So that makes you the fun person by default. 61 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,800 Speaker 5: Yeah, but I don't know what the fun is the 62 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,280 Speaker 5: right but I wouldn't say that. 63 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,920 Speaker 1: Well, because you're not the rule enforcer. So by default 64 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: you're the fun one because you're not the Yeah. 65 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 4: But again no, I think that I think that my 66 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 4: wife would still qualify, does she? 67 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 2: Do you think she's ever said like, when your father 68 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,639 Speaker 2: comes home, I'm gonna tell him and then the kids 69 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 2: will be like. 70 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 5: Oh, I don't know. 71 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 3: You don't know the question. I don't. 72 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 2: If you were to speculate too, this is my other 73 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 2: question to you. If you were to speculate between Olivia 74 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 2: or Calvin, which one would be more afraid of you 75 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 2: if that was said, or is there a difference. 76 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 3: In your way? 77 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 5: Probably my daughter would be more afraid. 78 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 4: Interesting well, and I would say gone with the son, 79 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 4: she's much more She's much more like I am ah 80 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 4: emotionally even keeled. So if she knew that I was 81 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 4: mad about something, she would she would recognize that's a 82 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 4: big deal. 83 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,679 Speaker 2: I'm embarrassed that it's It's took me until taking me 84 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 2: until like the last year year and a half to 85 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 2: realize how much jack my younger son's personalities like my 86 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 2: wife's and Jacob is more like my Jacob and I 87 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 2: love to talk like we just love to talk things out. 88 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 2: Jackie have to pull everything. 89 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 3: Out of him. What's it? Sorry to go back to this. 90 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 2: What's interesting that I thought that in the study that 91 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 2: they did about the fun parent is that there's benefits 92 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 2: to it which I wouldn't have thought that there would be, 93 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 2: and that the kid feels more comfortable to share with 94 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 2: the fun parent, So you get kind of like a 95 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 2: more open line of communication. But like we talk about 96 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 2: all the time on these segments, is that there's a 97 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 2: middle of the road kind of aspect to it, because 98 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 2: if you go too far into being the fun parent, 99 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 2: then you're more friend than parent, and then that becomes 100 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 2: into life. Then you lead into permissive parenting, and there's 101 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,600 Speaker 2: lots of problems that come with that. I'm really like, 102 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 2: I've also done this weird thing as my kids have 103 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 2: become teenagers where I feel like I'm more more quote 104 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 2: unquote friendly than I and then I am a dad, 105 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,360 Speaker 2: which is I don't mind it. 106 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 3: I'm really liking it. If I'm being honest, it's. 107 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 4: Not I wouldn't even say it's necessarily that you're changing. 108 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 4: It's the way they're learning to they're learning to manipulate. 109 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 4: You are such a piece of clay. 110 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 1: You know. 111 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:43,720 Speaker 4: They're learning to interact with adults in them much more regularly. 112 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,599 Speaker 4: I mean, they think about the the teachers. They're you know, 113 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,920 Speaker 4: closer in age to their teachers now than they ever have. 114 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 4: But obviously they you know, ad jobs or whatever, they're 115 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 4: dealing with with adults on a regular basis. 116 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 5: So maybe that's what. 117 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 2: We have conversations now that I love that my son. 118 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,479 Speaker 2: My son was talking about he helped set up like 119 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,159 Speaker 2: a friend of his, a friend I had a crush 120 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 2: on another friend, so he gave her some coaching on 121 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 2: how to like get this guy to pay attention to her. 122 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,720 Speaker 3: And it worked like a charm. 123 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 6: Hanging off your top. 124 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 3: Nope, no, it was. It was more subtle than that. Jesus, 125 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,480 Speaker 3: maybe he should write a book. 126 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:17,599 Speaker 5: I've just never. 127 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:21,279 Speaker 1: Taken how to get a guy advice from a dude before. 128 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 3: It's pretty it's pretty solid. 129 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,480 Speaker 2: Would he said stuff like they're going to a thing 130 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 2: and he said when if they were going to like 131 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 2: horror nights, and so he said, when you get scared, 132 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:34,840 Speaker 2: just pull yourself in closer to him, touching, find a 133 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 2: reason to touch him and rub his arm or something, 134 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,640 Speaker 2: or or just stand next to him and lean your 135 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 2: shoulder into him a little bit. And it was funny 136 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 2: because it was like watching a Shakespearean play because by 137 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 2: then he would come home and tell me that he 138 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 2: would then talk to his buddy and he would be like, yeah, 139 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 2: he would be like, oh my god, like this is 140 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 2: weird because she's really into me, I think, because this 141 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,720 Speaker 2: is awesome, like and he didn't know he was just 142 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 2: being played like a puppet. 143 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: But anyway, so my wife, your son also trying to 144 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 1: up with this girl. 145 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, they're very no, they're just friends. 146 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 3: He's not not that one. 147 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 2: But the part that made me laugh was that he 148 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 2: he talked to us about it, and then my wife 149 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,479 Speaker 2: saw the girl's dad. 150 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,640 Speaker 3: It was like, oh, isn't a cute about your daughter? 151 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,479 Speaker 3: And the blah blah blah, and he's like, what now. 152 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 2: And h THEO it told the sudden Jacob came home 153 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,239 Speaker 2: yelling you, Bob, I tell you guys stuff you can't 154 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 2: tell everybody. 155 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, said his dad on the radio. 156 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 6: Right, good point. 157 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,039 Speaker 1: All right, when we come back age thirteen, what a 158 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,839 Speaker 1: mess for everybody involved, for the thirteen year old, for 159 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 1: the parents' parent child conflict peaks at age thirteen. 160 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 6: According to science, Justin will break it down for us. 161 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 5: Listen, you have just you did, ask Justin Warsham Joints. 162 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,920 Speaker 4: As we talk about the issues of parenting that exist 163 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,160 Speaker 4: all over the place, from from little kids to to 164 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 4: late teens, even parenting adults, et cetera. There is one 165 00:06:53,960 --> 00:07:00,480 Speaker 4: particular time when conflict peaks, is what they say, And 166 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 4: it's thirteen. And there could be a myriad of reasons why, 167 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 4: or there could be myriad reasons whatever you say that 168 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 4: why thirteen is such a key age obviously, hormones, puberty, 169 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 4: body changes, You smell funny, you act funny, you are funny, Like, 170 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:20,120 Speaker 4: all of those things can go into it. But then 171 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 4: you've got the beginnings of scholastic pressure, the beginnings of 172 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 4: social pressure from you know, you start to notice that 173 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 4: girls have bumps that you don't pieces that you know, 174 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 4: all that. 175 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 5: Sort of stuff. 176 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 3: Interesting. 177 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,160 Speaker 5: I'm not paying you one hundred and seventy five. 178 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 6: Actually, that was a very nice way of putting it. Yeah, 179 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 6: I can clean. When he talks about underage girls, he 180 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 6: does it correctly. Justin I thought we. 181 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 3: Lost it for a minute. But she's back, guys, she's back. 182 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 5: Now you are past this. 183 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 2: I am. I'm so annoyed that I've gotten this information 184 00:07:59,240 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 2: after I've been. 185 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,239 Speaker 5: Passed, because it had changed you. 186 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 2: Yes, it would have changed It would have changed everything 187 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 2: for me, because so I spins. 188 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,960 Speaker 5: I'm right here. Any time you want a. 189 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 3: Good point by you. 190 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 2: No, I spent years talking to experts on the podcast 191 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 2: and just in reading things, and I'm telling you no book, 192 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,679 Speaker 2: no expert that I ever talked to warned about how 193 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 2: tough middle school aged parenting is. 194 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 3: Like nobody that's the thing they don't warn you about. 195 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,680 Speaker 2: They warn you about how tired you're going to be, 196 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,360 Speaker 2: They warn you about cherish these moments because you're gonna 197 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,559 Speaker 2: miss them. And then oh, it's so hard when they're 198 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 2: a teenager because they yell at you, but they don't 199 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 2: say And I think when I started reading this, because 200 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 2: it talks about how it's a bell curve, and I 201 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 2: think that we all walked through this, going well, at twelve, 202 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 2: it's at the low end of the bell curve, and 203 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 2: then maybe it peaks at sixteen seventeen and then starts 204 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 2: to dip back down to zero at twenty one, right, 205 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 2: Like that's what I thought had happened. 206 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 3: But in reality, what they're saying is is that. 207 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 2: It like jumps up to thirteen and then and then 208 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 2: kind of slowly come down through the teenage years. And 209 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,719 Speaker 2: I at first when I was reading this, I'm like, well, 210 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 2: that wasn't my childhood, But then I realized the conflict. 211 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 2: I literally at thirteen told my dad I was going 212 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,080 Speaker 2: to move in with my mom my parents were divorced, 213 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,840 Speaker 2: Like that was when my dad and I were butting heads. 214 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 2: The hardest what I realized is at sixteen is when 215 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 2: I was my most stupid. 216 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,960 Speaker 3: There's a difference. It's not confrontational. 217 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,200 Speaker 2: The problems I had with my dad as a teenager 218 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:28,720 Speaker 2: at sixteen and seventeen was because of idiotsy, not because 219 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,840 Speaker 2: of conflict or me wanting to like loocid old man, 220 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 2: whereas at twelve I definitely was like going after him 221 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 2: for no reason. 222 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 6: Yeah, why is it? 223 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,680 Speaker 1: That? Is it just because it's the very beginning of 224 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: the separation from your parents. 225 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,480 Speaker 3: I think it's the flood. 226 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,559 Speaker 2: It's the flood of hormones that make that are rewiring 227 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 2: your brain to I have read research that people believe 228 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 2: that the brain when you become a teenager goes through 229 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:58,000 Speaker 2: a hardwire like reset to distance yourself, specifically from your parents, 230 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 2: and that they believe it's an evolutionary thing to limit incests. 231 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:03,839 Speaker 2: So you're supposed to leave your herd or your your 232 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,439 Speaker 2: village and go someplace. 233 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 5: Else and beyond the incests. 234 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 4: It's just a matter of allowing the more capable of 235 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,960 Speaker 4: taking care of themselves people to be the ones that 236 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 4: are going to be successful and procreating all that sort 237 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 4: of stuff. I think it's there's more to just the 238 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,959 Speaker 4: more than just the biology of it, because I think 239 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,319 Speaker 4: that's probably the biggest piece, the biology and the hormones 240 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 4: and everything changing. But think about what junior high for 241 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 4: us meant compared to elementary school. In junior high, you 242 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,840 Speaker 4: had we had to go to six different classes. Like 243 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 4: your sports competition took on a whole new level of. 244 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,959 Speaker 3: You never playing touch football on the field. 245 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's organized, And then you start thinking about the 246 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,520 Speaker 4: things like the girlfriends or the boyfriends, and the sex 247 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 4: and whatever is coming, whatever is coming next. 248 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 2: You really start comparing yourself to everybody else heavily in 249 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:56,080 Speaker 2: middle school. 250 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,280 Speaker 4: And it's not even necessarily. I don't think that the 251 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 4: conflict is between you and the parent necessarily. It's that 252 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:05,640 Speaker 4: there's so much going on in your life. You have 253 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 4: zero patients to deal with that old person that's yelling 254 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 4: at you to pick up your stuff or clean. 255 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 1: And think about where your parents are at. They're in there, 256 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: like mid forties. Yeah, they have the most pressure probably 257 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:20,839 Speaker 1: that they've had, because when you think about the arc 258 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,559 Speaker 1: of being a professional and you get to some place, 259 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 1: there's a lot of pressure to keep that level of 260 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,559 Speaker 1: income or what have you, and it hits around that time. 261 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:32,080 Speaker 2: My dad told me the forties were the best decade 262 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:35,320 Speaker 2: of his life, and mine were great until I hit 263 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,080 Speaker 2: mid forties. 264 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,400 Speaker 6: The last couple of years getting really. 265 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,560 Speaker 2: Go to hell as far as I'm concerned professionally, Like 266 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 2: it's just like because you're you're right, I think that 267 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 2: what I experienced was this like, Oh, everything's going great, 268 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,680 Speaker 2: and then you're like, oh, no, this isn't going so great. 269 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,440 Speaker 2: But I want to maintain I don't want to step backwards, 270 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 2: so I'm doing that. At the same time, my kids 271 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 2: are doing the emotional and I don't know growth version 272 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 2: of that, sure, Like they want to progress. They want 273 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:05,679 Speaker 2: to do things on their own and and have independence 274 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 2: at a time when they don't really have any Like 275 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 2: that's that's the funny thing to watch them. They start 276 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 2: like making plans on their own and telling you how 277 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 2: things are going to go, and you kind of dismissively 278 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 2: laugh at them, and good one, you're just going to 279 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,080 Speaker 2: go over to Tommy's house. 280 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 4: Are you going to get there seven miles away on 281 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 4: the other side of the freeway. 282 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 5: Okay, have fun. 283 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 3: Maybe next time, ask somebody like to plan ahead. 284 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 5: Hope those roller blades work. 285 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,319 Speaker 4: A combat No, no, not unless you're training for speed 286 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:39,440 Speaker 4: skating in the off season. 287 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 5: But other than that, I don't think. 288 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 2: Nobody roller It's funny to think to the kids at 289 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 2: the choir, they had them roller skate for a section 290 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 2: of it, and they had to do classes over the summer. 291 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 5: Yeah, they do what's its face Express? What was the 292 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:51,760 Speaker 5: name of that? 293 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 2: Starlight Express? No, it's a different thing. They were talking 294 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 2: about doing Starlight Express. Really, yes, but then this was 295 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,839 Speaker 2: also they were going to do them both in the 296 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,439 Speaker 2: same year, and I just it was such an interesting 297 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 2: thing to see culturally, Like I think all of us 298 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,559 Speaker 2: could put on roller skates right now and do really 299 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 2: well compared to what most children could do. 300 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,199 Speaker 5: Right kill it, kill it. 301 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:11,559 Speaker 3: Yeah exactly. I went to a. 302 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 2: Roller rink party for like a thirteen year old and 303 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,840 Speaker 2: it took me like ten minutes. I'm like, oh, I'm 304 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 2: back to my old self. 305 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 5: Skating backwards. 306 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 1: Just does that mean shooting a deck or is that 307 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 1: a euphemism? 308 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 4: Pretend you don't know cowskate. Everybody went to cow skate. 309 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,199 Speaker 4: Do you know how to ice skate? 310 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:36,160 Speaker 6: I think I Gary's a ice skater, Okay, she asked. 311 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 4: She was so surprised the other day when I and 312 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 4: I said I know how to skate and she was like, 313 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 4: you do They go, hey, don't forget you gotta go.