Speaker 1: All right, welcome to the debrief. It's Stay O'Neill here
Speaker 1: with my sergeant in arms Brah.
Speaker 2: It looks hello reporting.
Speaker 1: Going for a drive to a little game.
Speaker 3: They drive back with Caledon de Breed. It's Caldon d Breath.
Speaker 3: It's Calton D Tree. It's Calton D Tree. It's Calton Breath.
Speaker 1: We're here just to me and you know Henry, No,
Speaker 1: Peter Oson, No, sna Sonya, no one. And where we going, Brad?
Speaker 4: We're going to Brandsdown, Bainsdale, the Forge Theater, Man.
Speaker 2: Victoria, three and a half hours east.
Speaker 1: It's a long way.
Speaker 2: It is a long way, isn't it.
Speaker 1: Just stop to the servoy then? And I don't know
Speaker 1: you want to pie? So I don't know where I'm
Speaker 1: going to get dinner.
Speaker 2: I just don't know. Yeah, well the Bends is pretty
Speaker 2: big town.
Speaker 1: There's a big town. But there's a kind of a
Speaker 1: timing issue, isn't there. Yeah, well it's getting there and
Speaker 1: doing a sound check and all that.
Speaker 2: But we aren't in the davemobile.
Speaker 4: So there's probably like a lot of bountiful food secreted
Speaker 4: around in here.
Speaker 1: Yeah's AIChE somewhere.
Speaker 4: Like if we have a crashy airbag pops out, I
Speaker 4: get hit by fifteen wagon wheels.
Speaker 1: Which aren't they good anymore?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Still not podcast? Yeah wrong podcast? And also you know
Speaker 1: you get one from a cake shop, they're really good
Speaker 1: now yeah, it's all Queensland thing to make wagonund have.
Speaker 2: You ever eaten vanilla ice cream using a wagon? Will know?
Speaker 2: It's very nice, very nice, very good.
Speaker 1: Tip. I don't have sweet No, you don't have a
Speaker 1: sweet tooth.
Speaker 2: No, this is all savory well savory. Wow.
Speaker 1: So you don't ever buy like a chocolate.
Speaker 4: Bar, I will ever know? And then I haven't been
Speaker 4: in chocolate. But it's kind of like, you know, it's
Speaker 4: it's I failed to see why people get so excited
Speaker 4: about it. Okay, right, give me a pizza and I
Speaker 4: will do anything.
Speaker 2: May as well.
Speaker 1: We'll get tonight nor we normally like when we went
Speaker 1: to Chep we went to Moduro. We got those old
Speaker 1: school pizzas. They are the best, you.
Speaker 2: Know we had. I think we had a good pizza
Speaker 2: last year and you somewhere too.
Speaker 1: Remember the last time I went to Bansty there was
Speaker 1: a pizza disaster at that pub.
Speaker 2: That's what I was.
Speaker 4: That.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I knew people have taken it over,
Speaker 1: but well, you.
Speaker 4: Know, look, I think I was spoken about their pigeon
Speaker 4: disaster before, you know, about when they crowned the scene
Speaker 4: on officially opened Melbourne blew the pigeons. There were two
Speaker 4: two outdoor pit bosses or whatever, and one of them
Speaker 4: said release the doves and the other one said turn
Speaker 4: on the final sculptures.
Speaker 2: Massacred them and they got fined a lot of money
Speaker 2: and it was very tragic and so on. So I
Speaker 2: feel like this was almost of that scale that they've
Speaker 2: just gone.
Speaker 4: We'll get Dave O'Neill down here in Bensdale and everybody
Speaker 4: who buys a ticket gets a free pizza or get
Speaker 4: some pizza with it. Well, let's why don't we get
Speaker 4: eat machine that makes two pizzas at once and see
Speaker 4: how long it takes us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it didn't work anyway, They needed Jesus, they needed something.
Speaker 1: We of course have to mention on new podcast Slippery Slope,
Speaker 1: which which happened because of this touring, that silly of
Speaker 1: Wordsworth production has been organized in these regional tours for us,
Speaker 1: and we went to Mount Isa and what happened?
Speaker 4: What happened brat what we found in Mount Isa was
Speaker 4: We got there very early, couldn't check in our hotel.
Speaker 4: A woman from the municipal council who was kindly driving
Speaker 4: us around, told us a wonderful tale about the water
Speaker 4: slide that was late.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so they wanted a water slide. That's a whole
Speaker 1: saga in itself, and then because there was opposition on
Speaker 1: the council and then well they ordered it from Turkey,
Speaker 1: where water slides now get made. We learned, you learned
Speaker 1: so many things from this and basically there was an
Speaker 1: incident in the Sewers Canal and pirates were involved.
Speaker 2: And so we've done a true crime.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's true crime. We're not the next Cereal.
Speaker 2: Or I mean, we're not women, but we will. We
Speaker 2: aren't rattling this crime.
Speaker 1: We both listened to that Hamish podcast, Who the Hell Hamish?
Speaker 2: Who the Hell?
Speaker 1: This is a great podcast by the guy from the Australian.
Speaker 1: We're like, we're pretty much going for his job. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well that's I'm surprised. We're not going to do a
Speaker 1: Q And at the end of this on the slippery slope,
Speaker 1: where which are the thousands of people turning up going?
Speaker 1: We don't care about your stand up, tell us more
Speaker 1: about the water slide of Mount Eier.
Speaker 4: You've been waiting by the final week for six minutes, George, Next, George, Dave,
Speaker 4: Dave O'Niel.
Speaker 1: You can be Ian Leslie and I'll be out of it,
Speaker 1: out of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm I'm Dave O'Neill, I'm Brad Oaks. This is
Speaker 2: six minutes. Well it's not forty two minutes. But anyway, Look, the.
Speaker 1: Good thing about that podcast is a short one only,
Speaker 1: it's only a four parter. But have a listen. Let's
Speaker 1: you'll hear me and Brad.
Speaker 2: There may be a bonus. You never know, there may
Speaker 2: be a bonus, you know, because worldwide conspiracy and.
Speaker 1: I could uncover other things, exactly different things.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe water slides are going missing all over the Giant.
Speaker 1: We're into argon, Brad.
Speaker 4: And so when we're talking about the water slide here people,
Speaker 4: we're talking about a massive, a big one.
Speaker 1: Hey, let's just reminisce about doing gigs of that pub
Speaker 1: with the late Dave Grant. Was it that pub? Yeah,
Speaker 1: wasn't that room there?
Speaker 2: Royal?
Speaker 1: This one there. I've got gigs in that room right there.
Speaker 4: I did one in there once with a whole lot
Speaker 4: of that's you did well, I did well, and they
Speaker 4: didn't do well, and they couldn't say anything. All the
Speaker 4: way back to Melbourne.
Speaker 1: There was this one too.
Speaker 2: How was that one? There was a saloon bar around
Speaker 2: the corner. Yes, we did comedy.
Speaker 1: There, and also that nightclub. It's called I should remember.
Speaker 1: I make jokes about it. It's got a sunken dance floor.
Speaker 1: It's now a functions center. Brad.
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, it's called the.
Speaker 1: The hang On. I can't remember what's called.
Speaker 2: I remember it was that part of your Manhattan. I
Speaker 2: tell room.
Speaker 1: If I'm around here, I would do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: This is a McDonald's where they often have a bouncer
Speaker 1: and a.
Speaker 4: Velvet bounces two bounces and two bounces and the velvet
Speaker 4: and if you really want upset on me mate, I
Speaker 4: just want to warp.
Speaker 1: The Tarragon one. It's called the Another Paradise. The so
Speaker 1: many times I remember it. By the end of it,
Speaker 1: I'm having a noble moment. We call this weather podcast.
Speaker 1: There's another podcast that's all you do so.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 1: You know, Glenn Robbins will be listening to the Slippery
Speaker 1: Slope podcast and be correcting you at nauseum. Oh no,
Speaker 1: he was lying there like that's wrong. That's wrong, because
Speaker 1: you often correct Glenn, so I've corrected him, yeah, twice.
Speaker 2: It does. It's it's something that I've desisted from. I
Speaker 2: no longer do it.
Speaker 1: Because he's one of the kings of comedy.
Speaker 2: Well, he's a nice man, Glenn.
Speaker 1: Of course, we're the nice guys are comedy.
Speaker 2: I will continue to correct dickheads.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 4: As I us. I mean, I'm bitten by the dog
Speaker 4: the other day and outside this cafe, and I was.
Speaker 4: I messaged somebody on Facebook and I said, they said, here,
Speaker 4: you're right, I said, yeah, but I felt really bad
Speaker 4: for the woman who was pushing the baby in the
Speaker 4: pram past me. When I told the dog what I
Speaker 4: thought of, I called it a non human I mean
Speaker 4: a human name.
Speaker 1: You gotta be careful with my sort of dog.
Speaker 4: Was It was an American pit ball. It seemed friendly,
Speaker 4: and I I was, yeah, I was over confident. Was
Speaker 4: I'm not blaming the dog, I'm not blaming the owner.
Speaker 4: I made the mistake of thinking that I was a
Speaker 4: dog whisperer, and I'm not. And so I'll just go
Speaker 4: back to just complimenting dogs.
Speaker 1: Now, no idea.
Speaker 2: You're a fine looking fella. Don't get out of the car.
Speaker 1: I find any of those pitbull kind of types of dogs,
Speaker 1: keep away from them. You know, I know people love them,
Speaker 1: but I'm more.
Speaker 2: Likely to diet at the teeth of a chihuala pit
Speaker 2: boards are You're.
Speaker 1: Going to die at the teeth of Mitzi rather than
Speaker 1: Satan or Rocky exactly? Yeah, well, yeah, you know, one
Speaker 1: of their dads at schools a vet and he said
Speaker 1: different areas of Melbourney have different types of dogs. So
Speaker 1: bay Side's got all the white fluffy ones, he said,
Speaker 1: and out north and west it's all it's all Satan
Speaker 1: rocky pit bulls.
Speaker 2: And yeah, yea.
Speaker 1: Alsatians Bayside where it's sort of where you live in
Speaker 1: that which is the Posha kind of area. Yeah, they
Speaker 1: are more white fluffies.
Speaker 4: There's a good chance, like if you want to, you know,
Speaker 4: apply logic to it, there's a good chance that the
Speaker 4: places where they have the Satans, they do have their
Speaker 4: little white fluffy.
Speaker 2: Dogs, but only for a limited die. Yeah. Well you
Speaker 2: know how people feed, like you know, there's mice.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: In fact, you might in fact move to.
Speaker 4: A suburb that has the more miniature toy dog just
Speaker 4: to feed your rum.
Speaker 1: Yes, great day, like I saw in the Pitchhop yesterday,
Speaker 1: they have frozen rats and to feed your snakes or whatever.
Speaker 4: They Yeah, that's that's that great mice. That's that great joke.
Speaker 4: But the kid who goes, excuse me, it goes, excuse me,
Speaker 4: do you have a bunny rabbit? I want to get
Speaker 4: a bunny rabbit, and then goes there going the picture
Speaker 4: goes sure it would you like a nice fluffy white
Speaker 4: one or a black rom and he goes, I don't
Speaker 4: give I don't think my rattlesnake gives a fuck.
Speaker 1: What that's funny.
Speaker 2: I've heard that. I know there.
Speaker 1: You got a new joke.
Speaker 2: There was no one of mine.
Speaker 4: No, I know that, but yeah, it's yeah, it's so
Speaker 4: because I house sat when I finished my AGC. I
Speaker 4: house sat with muscall but former promoter in Ellwood down
Speaker 4: in Glen Huntley Road and one of the one of
Speaker 4: the things that these people friends of his mum's, went
Speaker 4: over to England.
Speaker 2: So we housed that for three weeks and the goldfish dive.
Speaker 1: How do you replace it?
Speaker 2: I'm not knowing that. Do you remember there used to
Speaker 2: be that big.
Speaker 4: Pet place on the corner of el had the big
Speaker 4: yellow Johnt. So I went in there and the day
Speaker 4: before they were coming back, I said, I hope they're
Speaker 4: not listening. I mean it's, you know, as statue of limitations,
Speaker 4: it's forty years and they said. I said to the guy,
Speaker 4: I need to get some replacement goldfish and he goes, sure,
Speaker 4: do you want to have a look at them?
Speaker 1: And I said no, and I pulled him out and
Speaker 1: he laughed and he said, you yeah, the dead ones.
Speaker 2: I brought the dead one and he said, no one
Speaker 2: ever does that. It just makes sense to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, as you the people knew or I
Speaker 1: don't think so. We had to when we were younger,
Speaker 1: me and Karen had one of our friends, Marta. She
Speaker 1: lived in a block of flats in Hawthorne and she
Speaker 1: had rats right right and one of the rats, one
Speaker 1: of the rats got out. I couldn't find it. And
Speaker 1: then the next week we came there was a notice
Speaker 1: saying rat plague in the flats. That's a rat And
Speaker 1: then the rat tuned through the electrical cord on the
Speaker 1: fridge and turned it off.
Speaker 2: Yeah, naughty ratty. And how can we don't die when
Speaker 2: they do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. Anyway, more rat stories as a rat
Speaker 1: in the kitchen. There's a rat in the kitchen. What
Speaker 1: am I going to do? I'm gonna eat that rat?
Speaker 1: And you know when that song came out U forty,
Speaker 1: it was seen as a political band for a while. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everyone was saying, oh, that's about the guy who undermined
Speaker 1: Margaret Thatcher. I think it was John Major, Yeah, who
Speaker 1: was like stabbed her in the back and all that,
Speaker 1: and the song and the guy go and then the
Speaker 1: guy who wrote it goes Ali Or who said no,
Speaker 1: there was actually a run in my kitchen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, in my kitchen.
Speaker 1: I want to do I'm going to eat that.
Speaker 2: Right, It's like.
Speaker 4: You'd be forty And people go, I wonder what the
Speaker 4: UB says unemployment benefits.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well that's why there's two versions of You
Speaker 1: Be forty. The two are now there's one with Ali
Speaker 1: the ead singer, and there's one with all the other
Speaker 1: original members and they had his brother singing for a while.
Speaker 2: I was wondered if that invalidated, but got UB.
Speaker 1: Forty because a you Be forty you can't trademark it.
Speaker 4: Apparently No, I meant because once they started getting paid,
Speaker 4: I have to go, well, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're not working.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, they got what's another form for working?
Speaker 2: See? This is what I struggle with. This is like
Speaker 2: I'm not o CD.
Speaker 1: Called word cover.
Speaker 2: I don't ship.
Speaker 1: Yeah another stitch, you're not.
Speaker 2: You struggle with what I struggle with, just a little
Speaker 2: like things of logic like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it makes sense.
Speaker 2: It's it's the it's the kind of world of crooked paintings.
Speaker 1: To me, it's like, well, you know, it makes sense
Speaker 1: when they were ten or eight unemployed guys from Birmingham.
Speaker 4: Well you know what ATM machine? You know that's that's
Speaker 4: automatic machine machine. You know that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: It's just oh yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 4: It's well, it's it's it's funny to some of it's
Speaker 4: irritating to others.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 1: Anyway, bands, what are we expecting? Brod's in a theater. Well,
Speaker 1: I've done this theater before. I think it's quite big. Yeah,
Speaker 1: going by a track record, we probably won't fill it.
Speaker 4: Well, that's I feel like we should put that poster's
Speaker 4: come along stretch out.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, plenty of b O'Neil and oak show.
Speaker 2: Wow, I've got billing. You know that.
Speaker 4: That's what happened when I'm doing a show, doing a
Speaker 4: show Wednesday, whatever the day is due, and I rang
Speaker 4: the woman. I said, an Emeralds Emerald.
Speaker 2: At the Paradise Valley Hotel. Yeah, Clematus, you can do
Speaker 2: my joke.
Speaker 1: What's the sober around it sounds like a disease? Is
Speaker 1: a chlamydia? What's it calling in Martin?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Or the joke I'm gonna do, which is, wow, I
Speaker 4: couldn't I couldn't even find it, but I.
Speaker 1: Know there's a basin next to the toilet. I do
Speaker 1: that one.
Speaker 2: She got me to.
Speaker 4: She got me to organize the gig and I just
Speaker 4: messaged them and I just said, you're gonna put me
Speaker 4: on the post because they put Richard Stubbs him and
Speaker 4: it just said and another comedian. I thought, I'm just
Speaker 4: Ice Lad. I'm just being disappeared in So yeah, that's
Speaker 4: but yeah, So you're going why Yeah, And we've got
Speaker 4: this big podcast that's just dropped episode one this week.
Speaker 1: And it's I'm going to Japan and you have to
Speaker 1: do press about it. That's why I'm going. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: a big interest in Japan about mount.
Speaker 2: Isa, and I'm going back to mant Isa in July.
Speaker 1: To the hill cop of the Heat. That'll be funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'll just be like you know, Erica will
Speaker 2: pick you.
Speaker 4: Up and just be shaking her head like fuck you guys,
Speaker 4: or should pick everybody else up?
Speaker 1: And yeah, no, I'm picking that scumbag.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's what you are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you ruined man, eyeser.
Speaker 2: We're gon We put them on the Putt town.
Speaker 1: So have a listen to slippery Slope. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: who knows what we'll find in bands sales a Saturday night.
Speaker 2: That's good.
Speaker 1: So there was an article on the paper because David,
Speaker 1: who runs a big Los lunchdown here, which I've done
Speaker 1: in bands a few times, he took a photo and
Speaker 1: sent it to me.
Speaker 4: So I love the way you can't say Bandsdale Vans.
Speaker 4: What do I say Barnsdall? And you can't say Lasagna either?
Speaker 4: How do you say that Lasagna?
Speaker 1: Lasagne? I can if I hear someone say it, but
Speaker 1: I say Lasagne. I said it as a joke. Now
Speaker 1: it's just become what I say. Yeah, Lasagna.
Speaker 2: Ironically moved yourself into.
Speaker 1: That everything and everything. Yeah, you hate that too, don't you?
Speaker 1: I hate it all right, Well, all right, soon back
Speaker 1: in and we'll see Brand's gottat his pie. I've got
Speaker 1: to eat my TWISTI is now.
Speaker 2: So sh to do.
Speaker 1: I mean, we may find another local crime down here
Speaker 1: that we can do our next slippery slope. That's we
Speaker 1: drove past gun By a park. There's a big water
Speaker 1: slide there. Maybe we should look into that.
Speaker 4: Well, we can be maybe looking at other crimes, Davey,
Speaker 4: you know, like whatever happened to that that training from
Speaker 4: Melbourne to the Melbourne Airport? Oh?
Speaker 1: Yes, did Brad and Dave doing a gig at the
Speaker 1: vans Our hotel and the pizza fiasco causes to close down?
Speaker 1: Pizza fiasco?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't say fiasco.
Speaker 1: I can't say a lot of words. I know, I've
Speaker 1: got Okay, see what you think about this. I thought
Speaker 1: about doing this as a routine because now when people
Speaker 1: have issues, it seems to be on their CV and
Speaker 1: the first thing they tell people, Like when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, I went to a speech therapist, right because
Speaker 1: I was a twin so we couldn't speak normally and so,
Speaker 1: but you would not tell anyone that it was a secret.
Speaker 1: You came from everyone to school until you saw another
Speaker 1: kid in the waiting room and they just nodded at him.
Speaker 1: And then at school when you saw him just give
Speaker 1: me a bit of a nod. Was the playground was
Speaker 1: full of other kids nodding at each other and winking,
Speaker 1: and you know, with all these all these issues, you know,
Speaker 1: well now these days, man, you know, people go, can
Speaker 1: you introduce me and tell me it's how I've got ADHD.
Speaker 1: I'm on the spectrum, you know, and I've got autism.
Speaker 1: Oh cool, Well.
Speaker 4: Imagine if your problem was nodding and winking. Yes, you've
Speaker 4: just been a school going how many people?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, maybe that's the joke.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe that's it.
Speaker 4: Well, you know, every time I went to the chemist
Speaker 4: to buy chuadrell, they gave me conducts.
Speaker 2: That's an old joke, not.
Speaker 1: But it does seem to be front and center now.
Speaker 1: People put on their cvs like, you know, I've got
Speaker 1: ADHD and everyone's got ADHD. Yeah everyone, Yeah, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: get to meet someone that, but they're all self diagnosed.
Speaker 1: Well except huge, He've got diagnosed over the phone, really telehealth, Yeah,
Speaker 1: over the phone. Yeah. One of my kids tells me
Speaker 1: he's got ADHD. Never been diagnosed but believes he's got it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of like, uh, what what what's the what's.
Speaker 4: The comparison to when we were growing up. Well, it's
Speaker 4: like I was just like I'm just lazy and rude. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I know these people out there do have ADHD.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it's it's you know, it's full on
Speaker 1: if you do have it.
Speaker 2: But it's I don't know, it's just I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think it's like when you're a kid and you
Speaker 1: said you're an Abba fan and everyone just went, I'm
Speaker 1: a member fan. And then when you went deep with them,
Speaker 1: like I don't know any records or anything. Are you
Speaker 1: not an Amber fan?
Speaker 2: Do you know what you said? You were that? See
Speaker 2: that's where our works divert divert.
Speaker 1: You went an a fan?
Speaker 2: Well, I would not have it.
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 1: I would've just been nodding and winking.
Speaker 2: I was a David Bowie fan.
Speaker 1: That's cool.
Speaker 2: There's no crossover, I know that.
Speaker 1: But it was a way to meet girls. And again,
Speaker 1: David had all the girls.
Speaker 4: You know. The other way to meet girls was actually
Speaker 4: to meet girls. Yeah, to talk to him, just records.
Speaker 2: Sat and jumps dance.
Speaker 1: What a band? I'm going to the Abber show in London. Holograms.
Speaker 1: You know, I can't I can't wait. Chose the dance
Speaker 1: floor as opposed to the seats.
Speaker 2: Dares she go in there to see a hologram.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a live band. Okay, live band plus a
Speaker 1: hologram the original four Man. You can't tell me that's
Speaker 1: not gonna be awesome. In fact, I might do a
Speaker 1: hologram tonight. In bands, I just sit backstage. Oh, we'll
Speaker 1: do it. We'll do a low fi. I get a
Speaker 1: cardboard cat.
Speaker 2: I just do my voice. I just want anybody out
Speaker 2: there who's listening.
Speaker 4: Revering the same Bansteans Bensdale.
Speaker 1: All right, we'll be back.
Speaker 2: I got Do you work on a Snowy River bro Yes, Bensdale? Right.
Speaker 1: My neighbor did the Nazi He was I don't know
Speaker 1: if he was a Nazi.
Speaker 2: He was worked as a Nazi.
Speaker 1: He was Polish and he was in camps and stuff
Speaker 1: and he's dead now stand but he said he worked
Speaker 1: on the Snowy River project. There were always fights because
Speaker 1: people would recognize him and yeah, not good anyway.
Speaker 2: This guy's a bit of a warring what's he's all
Speaker 2: over the road.
Speaker 1: Just keep away from him, all right, sing well're gonna
Speaker 1: have band cell go band c bens.
Speaker 4: Rosale, Ben as in chub b a I r n
Speaker 4: bens Dale Bandsdale, Ben's Ben Ben ban Dale.
Speaker 2: Okay whatever, okay, all right, we're.
Speaker 1: Back on the debrief. We done Bandsdale the Forge Theater.
Speaker 1: How was it, Brad, Well, it was good.
Speaker 2: It was lovely. I found it a little tough.
Speaker 1: It was a big theater with a smaller crowd, it was.
Speaker 1: But they were so they were good though by the time,
Speaker 1: well you warn them up. By at the time I
Speaker 1: came on, they were great.
Speaker 2: Do you know what it was like?
Speaker 4: You know, I mean you got a really kind of
Speaker 4: nobby restaurant and you get a big plate with a
Speaker 4: tiny meal.
Speaker 1: That's what it was like, the whole cuisine.
Speaker 2: Yes, but they did at least sit right in the middle.
Speaker 1: They were good.
Speaker 2: They you know, they they laughed a couple of times.
Speaker 2: I thought, oh, yeah, here we go.
Speaker 4: But I think, you know, and I probably said this before,
Speaker 4: I think that they like, maybe they wanted you. And
Speaker 4: one of the happiest moments we had was when.
Speaker 1: I went here, he is, ah, don't talk yourself down.
Speaker 1: You've got a big round of pause, and I said
Speaker 1: your name. Yeah, but no, they were good fun.
Speaker 2: I did do some districts. Yes, it's interesting.
Speaker 1: They didn't really like dirty stuff. Well they give that
Speaker 1: a bit of a oh that kind of thing when
Speaker 1: I did anything a bit risque, that's for sure.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well I didn't really notice that. I suppose now
Speaker 4: you say that I probably should have worn pants.
Speaker 1: Yes, no, it was.
Speaker 4: It was funny and like I should have made this
Speaker 4: clear to people are listening. It was job done and
Speaker 4: everything like that. It's just that I think we've mentioned
Speaker 4: this before. Sometimes you just to expect the laughs just
Speaker 4: to keep coming a roll and just I just didn't
Speaker 4: get a roll on. I just I worked for every
Speaker 4: single laugh of d and I'm a lazy man. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm not expecting that.
Speaker 1: Tell you what though? The spread in the green room,
Speaker 1: well man. I sent a photo to Kitty Flight again
Speaker 1: and she said, yeah, that's impressive.
Speaker 2: That's yeah.
Speaker 4: When you said I'm going to send a photo to Giddy,
Speaker 4: I assumed you met your daughter and I thought, really, Dave,
Speaker 4: just let her live alife.
Speaker 1: Kidd is always interested in what is backstage, because sometimes
Speaker 1: we've been to venues.
Speaker 2: It hasn't even been a water exactly.
Speaker 1: They had to get water out of the tap, which
Speaker 1: is fair enough in their local councils. But this one
Speaker 1: had three types of chips, two types of M and ms,
Speaker 1: bags of lollies, Fredo frogs, chocolate rolls, oh Man drinks,
Speaker 1: the fridge. I got to rise his lemonade for the
Speaker 1: right home.
Speaker 2: And they should have maybe had just like a big
Speaker 2: jar of insulin.
Speaker 1: And yeah, and.
Speaker 2: There as well oh Man.
Speaker 1: And then and then I tea. So I was starving,
Speaker 1: and I said to the guy, where can I get
Speaker 1: something quickly around here? He goes, go up the avco
Speaker 1: the ampole and they'll cook whatever you want. And so
Speaker 1: I go there and there's a Chinese guy who I
Speaker 1: started talking to.
Speaker 2: He was really interesting.
Speaker 1: He said he was a Chinese backpacker, and because he
Speaker 1: cooked the dim Simson fish in front of me and
Speaker 1: we got the big South Melbourne ones and you'd a
Speaker 1: bit of fish, and he kept sticking the thermometer in it.
Speaker 1: And I said to him, mate, I got plenty of time.
Speaker 1: You don't have to. I'm one in a rash because
Speaker 1: I'd rather be well cooked, you know. Anyway, And he said, look,
Speaker 1: why you want to have this? This chicken for free.
Speaker 1: He gave you some chicken tenders and I'm eating that
Speaker 1: and he goes, yeah, you can have that. That's been
Speaker 1: here all day. And he said all day like this
Speaker 1: and that's been there all day. I'm like, whoa, he's
Speaker 1: still nicer.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: You know when you said he hips in a thermometery,
Speaker 4: and I would have I wouldn't have been able to
Speaker 4: help myself.
Speaker 2: I would have said, is it is it not? Well?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is it really poorly?
Speaker 1: Those dim seems bad? The world was wrong anyway.
Speaker 2: He was telling me. I said, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: In bean style?
Speaker 1: He said he worked on a farm for a year.
Speaker 1: He said that you know where the backpackers get a
Speaker 1: two year, two year visa if they worked for a
Speaker 1: year on a farm.
Speaker 2: And I go, what was that like?
Speaker 1: It was a ship job. He said, it was really hard.
Speaker 1: He said, this is much better in the servo.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: You don't see a lot of people saying it's not
Speaker 4: a ship job, but it's it's that's a very kip
Speaker 4: same thing I think people get. People do get kind
Speaker 4: of trapped almost here, like when they just go so
Speaker 4: why didn't you leave?
Speaker 1: And I just ran out of enage yeah, yeah, it
Speaker 1: was interesting.
Speaker 2: The last time we were in advanced it's interesting.
Speaker 1: But anyway, the spread was great, and so we we
Speaker 1: finished the gig. I've got like two bags of M
Speaker 1: and m's, a drink and some lalla and I walk
Speaker 1: out the back door and there's a few punters standing
Speaker 1: around and this girl woman Coast, Are you clearing out
Speaker 1: the green room?
Speaker 4: Are you?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, yeah, well, she goes, I put
Speaker 1: them there, and it was Rachel, who manages the place. Yes, oh, anyway,
Speaker 1: signed a poster for a young man who loved comedy.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Great.
Speaker 2: When put everything back, No, we didn't.
Speaker 1: But the young man said, I loved that joke about
Speaker 1: your penis three degrees something.
Speaker 2: Did you do a joke about that about what? When
Speaker 2: I said, I fell down the cliff? Oh, they he
Speaker 2: was talking about your joke.
Speaker 1: Yes, I don't know what he was talking about.
Speaker 2: I said, I fell down the cliff.
Speaker 4: I lost all my fingernails, I lost skin off my face,
Speaker 4: and I lost eight inches off my penis. And then
Speaker 4: I say to the audience, well, look I can't claim
Speaker 4: that because that would give me negative three inches.
Speaker 1: Ah that's what he said. He goes. My favorite joke
Speaker 1: was negative three inches. I'm like, oh, good one he's talking.
Speaker 2: About I've done that joke for years.
Speaker 1: Oh well, well, Jake, well I just lost it after that.
Speaker 4: Well do you know what was great was I did
Speaker 4: the joke about the secret. You know, I talk about
Speaker 4: the philosophy.
Speaker 1: And visualizing, and this woman was out, I know, and
Speaker 1: I went and.
Speaker 4: She had lent and I said, because she interrupted me twice, yeah,
Speaker 4: And I said I see you know, do you?
Speaker 2: And she goes, yeah. I said what that? She goes,
Speaker 2: it's the secret, And I said yeah, but why how
Speaker 2: do you know? She said I have the book?
Speaker 1: Yeah, the book.
Speaker 2: And I said I really, so can you tell us
Speaker 2: about it? She goes, I haven't. I can't. And I said,
Speaker 2: what is that? She said, I've never opened the book.
Speaker 1: She should have said it's a secret.
Speaker 4: Well she'd already tried that one, and I wasn't having
Speaker 4: it right, But I just said to her, well, it
Speaker 4: should have on. That's probably the first thing that she
Speaker 4: should have on the book is you must open this book,
Speaker 4: because it's absolutely.
Speaker 1: Isn't it Just like, yeah, you visualize your yeah, you manifest,
Speaker 1: manifest whatever you want to ask for universe.
Speaker 2: You say hey, universe, can I have that eight inches
Speaker 2: back on my dish?
Speaker 1: But also you make a board too with pictures of
Speaker 1: a Mercedes or if you want done. Yeah, yeah, a
Speaker 1: visualization board, isn't it?
Speaker 2: Well? I don't know. I mean, like a lot of things,
Speaker 2: I know a little bit about it, but I certainly
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 1: By a Melbourne woman who worked at Channel nine.
Speaker 2: I know. And yeah, and it got promulgated by Oprah
Speaker 2: Winfrey and that's why I took off. But to be honest,
Speaker 2: Dave you you've seen my life. What if I manifested?
Speaker 1: Are you still doing comedy? You manifested that kick tonight?
Speaker 2: I manifested those lollies in thee.
Speaker 1: That that bit of fish with the thermometer in it,
Speaker 1: ept saying him, I've got plenty of time. You don't
Speaker 1: have to.
Speaker 2: There's no rush here. Is it poorly?
Speaker 1: Is it poorly?
Speaker 2: But no, I didn't look it was good. It's this
Speaker 2: is one of the longer.
Speaker 1: You should do that and stand up about the hormometer
Speaker 1: because my son bangs on about that all the time.
Speaker 1: It's a master chef thing. Yeah, there always had his
Speaker 1: thermo because we should get a phomometer dad for cooking roast,
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, I don't need a thermometer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've got you. Yeah, just make him eat the
Speaker 2: first bit.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: If he kills over, whack it back in the oven
Speaker 2: for ten minutes.
Speaker 1: I have that chicken that was there all day doesn't
Speaker 1: come back.
Speaker 2: And that's why when you said do you want it?
Speaker 4: Because the worst ever food poisoning I have was some
Speaker 4: chicken and sat in a bamery. No. No, And that's
Speaker 4: why I threw up so badly. I got two black eyes. Oh,
Speaker 4: I've never thrown up that violently in my life. In fact,
Speaker 4: it wasn't two black eyes. I ended up with a
Speaker 4: little like a little mask like I was a raccoon. Oh,
Speaker 4: but it was red because I burst all the blood
Speaker 4: vessels in it. That's one violence that's bad. Anyway, we're
Speaker 4: on the ship at both.
Speaker 1: Ends day Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a gastro at
Speaker 1: both ends. That's a Tom Seager joke for you. I
Speaker 1: used to call him gastro on the foot field because
Speaker 1: you were at both ends. Yeah, that's funny. Anyway, we
Speaker 1: did it, and driving down here, some guy never seen
Speaker 1: this before. There was a guy in a ute towel
Speaker 1: gaining us right on a single lane highway like and like,
Speaker 1: you know, being quite aggressive, so over and high beam
Speaker 1: and stuff, and he overtook us. So then I put
Speaker 1: the high beam on him, and he did this. He's
Speaker 1: got a light on the back of his card that
Speaker 1: flashed in her.
Speaker 4: Face reverse high beam and I reckon it was probably
Speaker 4: off an aircraft.
Speaker 1: It was very bright.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we know the headlights that those planes.
Speaker 1: I've never seen that.
Speaker 2: It's the brightest light I've ever seen on the road.
Speaker 1: But that says to me he has a lot of
Speaker 1: road rage incidents. And he's put the line into caunteract them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh yeah, he's yeah, because I was I was
Speaker 4: looking at my phone at the time or something like that,
Speaker 4: and all of us something I can see through my hand.
Speaker 1: You thought we were getting kidnaped by aliens.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The finally they've come to promise, finally some action.
Speaker 2: I've got my good underwear on.
Speaker 1: It's all, who are they going to probe first?
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 1: Who wants at the least, who does a joke?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 1: When the when the aliens land America, they go take
Speaker 1: us to your leader and and the guy's like, oh man,
Speaker 1: you don't want to nah, you know when I meet
Speaker 1: him is a joke about that.
Speaker 4: I don't know, but I saw somebody do a bit
Speaker 4: about how they don't they don't know, we don't probe anymore.
Speaker 2: We've got better technology.
Speaker 4: Because it always was that what I wasn't been askings
Speaker 4: all the time about that, like yeah, why they putting
Speaker 4: things of your bom you know, really you've got the
Speaker 4: technology to fly here thousands and thousands of light years
Speaker 4: and then they're going to you know, somebody's going.
Speaker 1: To be yeah, that's weird. You should ask the questions.
Speaker 1: And we're going to get to eating out lollies.
Speaker 2: Well, we're going to stop off and do a little
Speaker 2: aad Sale.
Speaker 1: We're coming to Sale. Everyone. You're in your pooon, you're
Speaker 1: in man Isaer with Billy and Sonya and.
Speaker 4: And and.
Speaker 1: So if you're in Queensland, go along. And then me
Speaker 1: and you were doing and with with the Gang, we're
Speaker 1: doing Sale and we're doing Allbrey yeah first of the
Speaker 1: gang and yeah, then you and I doing Perth. Yeah
Speaker 1: in Perth, we're coming to mandra Guys Nils and I'm
Speaker 1: doing Broom and cool.
Speaker 4: As well, and yeah Davidson takes some fighters and room
Speaker 4: for me yeah, yeah, so yeah, we'd be going on.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so the key Okay, well well Brad, look.
Speaker 4: First of all, I want to shout out to the
Speaker 4: texts to Joe and Patch just so so no stress whatsoever.
Speaker 4: Nothing was a problem. Everything was cool, they know, everything
Speaker 4: unobtrusive and just yeah, just a beautiful little theater.
Speaker 2: So it went well.
Speaker 1: It was we're going to return when we were really
Speaker 1: famous and sell it out. It's seven living on the
Speaker 1: way home.
Speaker 4: What didn't go well, sorry, I'll just take one other
Speaker 4: things that work well for me was it wasn't freezing
Speaker 4: cold on that stage.
Speaker 2: No, it was warm because of cold backstage.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it wasn't you know, quite often of those
Speaker 4: theaters because you know, that stage was a third of
Speaker 4: the room, massive.
Speaker 2: Wasn't it.
Speaker 1: We could have done Oklahoma on it.
Speaker 2: Well, we're could have had a jet Star terminal there.
Speaker 2: So that very well.
Speaker 4: And yeah, the audience was quite nice. That's so that's
Speaker 4: what worked. Yes, what didn't go well then, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I just I feel like all that heat was on
Speaker 4: the stage rather than directed at me. Yeah, and it's
Speaker 4: so you look all I'm all I'm bitching about, folks,
Speaker 4: is wasn't a bad gig. It was just wasn't it
Speaker 4: wasn't super easy, and well else didn't go well.
Speaker 1: I don't know all the organizational hazards get in the way.
Speaker 2: No one just said, what might not going to go well?
Speaker 2: Is the amount of lollies we've eaten?
Speaker 1: Yes, organizational hazards pretty good? One pretty well?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I think that somebody should invent some other
Speaker 2: form of travel.
Speaker 1: To get back from bandstyle. How can we do better
Speaker 1: next time?
Speaker 2: Look, I felt like we didn't need to do any better.
Speaker 1: Get a helicopter, Yeah, get a HOLLI should be like
Speaker 1: trumpet player James. He's got his pilot license and flies people,
Speaker 1: flies to his gigs. All right, So here, Tommy little
Speaker 1: he's got his pilots. Give us a left, Tommy. We'll
Speaker 1: even let him do five.
Speaker 2: Yeah and great, g where's the gig.
Speaker 1: Fly back? I don't think his helicopter license soon.
Speaker 2: I think he's working on Jesus she was. I haven't
Speaker 2: even got you know, I can't give it a car
Speaker 2: license and I can't reverse the trailer. Really lost my license.
Speaker 1: Points.
Speaker 4: No, a little sneaky little trick which was in Victoria.
Speaker 4: I don't know if this happens elsewhere.
Speaker 2: I didn't know this.
Speaker 4: Because I had a few parking fines because just so
Speaker 4: you know, I'm not I'm not the wild alone your boy.
Speaker 4: I just find parking fines a bit rich because I
Speaker 4: think if you don't provide enough parking, then of course
Speaker 4: people looking down at default. But anyway, I said to myself, Okay,
Speaker 4: I've paid enough parking fines.
Speaker 2: I've had two hart attacks. I'm not going to pay
Speaker 2: any more parking pines.
Speaker 1: And no, because you just die with that debck.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And and I had some uh I read light fine,
Speaker 4: and I had a speeding fine, and I said, well
Speaker 4: I'll pay.
Speaker 1: Those, you know, yeah, because they have.
Speaker 4: So anyway, I get a letter saying that if I
Speaker 4: don't pay all of it, my license will just get suspended.
Speaker 2: And my red shoe.
Speaker 4: You can't even sell your car, you read Joe's it's
Speaker 4: not the car, you're redho suspended.
Speaker 2: And I went, oh, you're dirty buggers. So I have
Speaker 2: to play it. So yeah, I'm paying them off.
Speaker 1: Show you a payment plan or payment plan.
Speaker 2: And apparently I did what everyone else does is I
Speaker 2: got a payment plan. And then a few weeks later
Speaker 2: I rang up and said Can I change my payment plan?
Speaker 1: Can I get a payment plan for the payment plan?
Speaker 2: Exactly?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, anyway, just say, people, don't you know I'm
Speaker 4: not a I don't think I'm a socially irresponsible person,
Speaker 4: but I am.
Speaker 1: I am a reckless driver. I tell my kids I'm
Speaker 1: a defensive driver. But you say, I drive like a cop.
Speaker 1: Like a cop.
Speaker 2: Right, So I see Senior's Sergeant Dave O'Neill.
Speaker 1: The other day. Okay, I was dropping hearing off into
Speaker 1: the city.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: I drive down, wrapped down the street forty kilometers right,
Speaker 1: it's changed in the last couple of years from fifty
Speaker 1: to forty, which is really slow if you're driving anyway.
Speaker 2: Whatever.
Speaker 1: There's cops, traffic highway patrol with the gun. I go,
Speaker 1: look at that, Look at these idiots. Look at these idiots.
Speaker 1: Are those poor fuckers? Okay, I drop her off. I
Speaker 1: drive back past them again, have a glance. People pulled
Speaker 1: out a look those fucking idiots. Anyway, About two hours later, Karen,
Speaker 1: can you come pick me up? I'm like, oh, I go,
Speaker 1: all right, So I go, I pick her up. I
Speaker 1: drive down Rapton Street. All of a sudden, whoo, I'm
Speaker 1: like I got pulled out by the same cops that
Speaker 1: I've been making fun of. Yeah, and he goes, all right,
Speaker 1: you were doing fifty one and or forty zone. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna go check your driving record. And he comes back.
Speaker 1: He goes, well, mister O'Neil, you've had a bit of
Speaker 1: a sketchy past, haven't you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah you are, Jason statement.
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, I nearly lost my license. Yeah. He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: well this is only one point. I'm like, oh, thank fuck.
Speaker 1: You know what dollars And he said he was going
Speaker 1: to text the fine, but I never got the text.
Speaker 2: I have let me off. No.
Speaker 4: That what happens is once you think you've got off,
Speaker 4: the moment you know, I reckon, I've got off, it
Speaker 4: just turns up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's some deal of the universe.
Speaker 1: But you know why I patroller. They won't let you
Speaker 1: off normally.
Speaker 4: I am so I wrote that joke about patrol was
Speaker 4: I'm not booked on the way to Aubrey And the
Speaker 4: couple was really nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah where his name was so times well something.
Speaker 4: Sauners from the hang around a highway patrol piwaver patrol
Speaker 4: and he was eating the pipe and he said and
Speaker 4: so he did that, and he gave me a split,
Speaker 4: you know, mark me down and everything like that. He
Speaker 4: was very friendly, but he did that thing I hate
Speaker 4: right at the end where he goes, anyway, Bredford, I
Speaker 4: have to ask you, did you have any reason for
Speaker 4: for speeding?
Speaker 2: And it just shits me right, you know, just we've done.
Speaker 2: What can you say to that?
Speaker 4: And I looked him straight in the eye, straight up
Speaker 4: in the eye, and I said to him, just over confident, mate,
Speaker 4: and he just went He looked at me and he
Speaker 4: went what anyway.
Speaker 2: The joke I wrote out of that was he goes,
Speaker 2: what do you mean over confident? What does that mean?
Speaker 4: I said, well, you know, you just gave me a
Speaker 4: fine two hundred and ninety dollars and he goes yeah,
Speaker 4: And I said, you reckon, I'm going to pay that.
Speaker 4: That's overconfident, dish. But it's just it's the same when
Speaker 4: they make a joke, right, you know, just come on.
Speaker 4: I was like one of those dudes at the airport
Speaker 4: said to me, because I made a joke about.
Speaker 1: Not a bomber, yeah, I did.
Speaker 4: I made a joke about a bomb because what now
Speaker 4: what happened was I flew back from Wagger. I did
Speaker 4: a gig and Wogger and I flew back from Wager
Speaker 4: and we just got strained on the plane and then.
Speaker 1: We flew in the yeah, and then they do the
Speaker 1: search afterward, and.
Speaker 4: They do the search afterwards before we go on to
Speaker 4: the terminal, and there was one umbrella and it was
Speaker 4: raining and.
Speaker 2: We had to queue up to get inside to get searched.
Speaker 4: And so I started going mah manhat like that, you know,
Speaker 4: because I was annoyed. And then when we got there
Speaker 4: to the thing, I said, well, I would have blind
Speaker 4: the plane up already.
Speaker 2: So anyway, the guys come out, well three guys grabbed
Speaker 2: me and they dave.
Speaker 4: They did that thing where where I want a travelator
Speaker 4: right at the effort, and so they have to walk
Speaker 4: next to the travelator.
Speaker 2: So I'm standing there like, you know, I'm out of
Speaker 2: Star Wars or something.
Speaker 1: Just go along.
Speaker 4: And this guy goes and you can tell them security
Speaker 4: because they would try not to look like security. And
Speaker 4: one of them says to me, he goes, uh, what
Speaker 4: makes you think you're qualified to make it? He asked me,
Speaker 4: did you make a joke about a bomb? And I said, well,
Speaker 4: I didn't say a bomb. I just said I would
Speaker 4: have blow it up because it seemed I said, it
Speaker 4: seemed asinine to me to search us after we've left
Speaker 4: the plane, right, And he knows, well, what makes you
Speaker 4: think you're qualified to make a joke in an airport?
Speaker 4: And I just said to him, well, as a matter
Speaker 4: of fact, mate, I'm probably at this moment, Demo is quite.
Speaker 2: The person in the airport to do that. And he was,
Speaker 2: what you meant? You know what?
Speaker 4: I said, I'm a stand up comedian, I'm allowed to
Speaker 4: meet jokes. And he goes, what And I pulled out
Speaker 4: one of my DVDs to them and just and then
Speaker 4: got off the traveling and just walked off off. I'm
Speaker 4: probably I'm probably making people angry out there, and just
Speaker 4: go he's he's a band and he's a roade, but.
Speaker 2: Come on, just pulls him. Why would just why would
Speaker 2: you search people? Laughter? They've got I know they've done
Speaker 2: that to me too. Yeah, it doesn't make it odd?
Speaker 1: All right? Well, and have a listen to Slippery Slope,
Speaker 1: our new podcast. It's like a proper podcast with you.
Speaker 1: It's not just two guys.
Speaker 4: Rambling on, No, it's it's true crime. Thanks again, Brad,
Speaker 4: thanks made bad.
Speaker 2: Going for a.
Speaker 3: Drive to a little gain and drive back back with
Speaker 3: the chat. It is called the deep breath. It's called
Speaker 3: the de breath. It's called the D three. It's caltond three,
Speaker 3: it's caltend breath.