1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:05,199 S1: Hello, it's Tammy Mills here, and I'm the executive producer 2 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:09,080 S1: of Inside Politics and the Morning Edition. Tony Wright, the 3 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:13,119 S1: associate editor of The Age, has been writing for 50 years. 4 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,880 S1: He is the master of what we call the political sketch. 5 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:20,800 S1: Sketches are akin to a verbal cartoon, and when done well, 6 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:25,479 S1: capture a moment in politics. Today we bring you Tony's 7 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:29,200 S1: sketch on the disintegration of the coalition, titled it's a 8 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:34,720 S1: mess of Titanic Proportions on the coalition's Ship of Fools. 9 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,879 S2: You might expect to hear reference to the sinking of 10 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:44,280 S2: the Titanic and commentary about the nationals deserting what, until 11 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:47,199 S2: a few hours ago, was known as the federal coalition. 12 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:51,480 S2: The analogy is too grand. Better to think in miniature. 13 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:56,640 S2: The chaos in one of the Titanic's little lifeboats. The Titanic, 14 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:00,440 S2: was a mighty ship filled with thousands of passengers, from 15 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:04,600 S2: the most powerful to poor immigrants, hunkered in steerage and 16 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:08,560 S2: putting their faith in a better life in the New World. 17 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:13,880 S2: The coalition was a collection of a few ambitious egos 18 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,920 S2: and a rump of the confused left over from the 19 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:20,479 S2: last election, with no obvious passage to a land of 20 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:25,400 S2: hope and glory. The ruin now facing them invites comparison 21 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:29,280 S2: with the sort of panic frenzy that meant the Titanic's 22 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,640 S2: lifeboats were less than half filled. With those hoping to 23 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:36,480 S2: survive that, the nationals decided to shoulder everyone out of 24 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,520 S2: the way during their bolt for the boats on Thursday 25 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,400 S2: says a great deal that they chose to do so 26 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,640 S2: on a day of mourning for the victims of the 27 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:49,720 S2: Bondi massacre, when they had the decent opportunity to take 28 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:54,440 S2: a deep breath and think things through, says more. David 29 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:58,280 S2: Littleproud actually bawled it out loud. He and his mates 30 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:04,520 S2: quotes cannot be part of the shadow ministry under Sussan Ley. 31 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:10,120 S2: Close quotes. So shove her into the sea. Nationals Senator 32 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,919 S2: Susan McDonald made a bold bid for going down with 33 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:17,320 S2: the ship when she denied outright that Littleproud had said 34 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:22,360 S2: the coalition could not proceed with Susan Lee at the helm. Meanwhile, 35 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:26,760 S2: Bridget McKenzie was clearly jockeying for the favoured seat in 36 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:30,079 S2: this ship of fools when she blamed Lee for the 37 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:34,240 S2: whole mess because the opposition leader had been silly enough 38 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:40,040 S2: to accept the written resignations from the frontbench in a 39 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:44,880 S2: day of heroically absurd statements. This wasn't even the nuttiest. 40 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,160 S2: The panic, of course, was because the nationals and the 41 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:52,240 S2: liberals feared they'd hit an iceberg called One Nation. But 42 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:55,760 S2: neither the nationals nor the Flightier liberals have bothered to 43 00:02:55,800 --> 00:03:01,280 S2: learn much about navigating around such obstacles. They might have 44 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:05,360 S2: remembered the madness that all but destroyed them in the 1980s, 45 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:11,000 S2: when Joh Bjelke-Petersen loomed out of Queensland, claiming only he 46 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,280 S2: could save the ship by becoming prime minister despite the 47 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:18,360 S2: actual lack of a seat in Parliament. It was crackpot 48 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:22,280 S2: time and came to nothing beyond the end of Iain 49 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:26,320 S2: Sinclair's period as leader of the nationals. He was replaced 50 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:30,760 S2: by someone called Charles Blunt, who rose from nowhere to obscurity. 51 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:35,160 S2: The replacement of John Howard as opposition leader by the 52 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:40,960 S2: Suntanned Andrew Peacock, and the extinguishment of any faint hope 53 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,840 S2: of the coalition winning the next election from Bob Hawke's 54 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:51,040 S2: Labour administration. Now we've got Pauline Hanson, another Queenslander with 55 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:56,720 S2: a remarkably inflated opinion of her political abilities, wonderfully demonstrated 56 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,800 S2: by her declaration a few days ago that she was 57 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:04,640 S2: ready to lead the nation. Her new sidekick Barnaby Joyce, 58 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,760 S2: elected as a Nat, but now the single One Nation 59 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:13,040 S2: MP in the House of Representatives, was so pleased the 60 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:16,200 S2: nationals had fallen for their own fear of drowning that 61 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:20,400 S2: he couldn't resist a little burlesque. Having spent much of 62 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:25,640 S2: his energy over the years blowing up various relationships, he 63 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,920 S2: lectured his former colleagues that you don't blow the whole 64 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:34,040 S2: show up. And then glory be. He launched into a 65 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:39,680 S2: spot of marriage counselling, cautioning that the coalition's predilection for 66 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:45,240 S2: divorce looked crazy and chaotic, and people still find it 67 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:50,400 S2: difficult to believe the Titanic's orchestra kept playing as the 68 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,320 S2: ship went down. 69 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:59,640 S1: You can read all of Tony's work and the rest 70 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:06,520 S1: of our political news on our websites, the Ajc.com or Smh.com.au. 71 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:12,000 S1: Our podcasts are overseen by Lisa Muxworthy and Tom McKendrick. 72 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,640 S1: And before you go, follow Inside Politics or The Morning 73 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,640 S1: Edition and leave a review for us on Apple or Spotify. 74 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,800 S1: I'm Tammy Mills, and thank you for listening.