S1: A listener. Production.
S2: Luke and I have many Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
S2: mates around the country and around the world, and we
S2: think it's really important that when you go to somebody's house,
S2: you say, thanks for having us. So Luke and I
S2: would like to say thank you to the Wurundjeri, Woiwurrung
S2: and Boonwurrung peoples of the Kulin nation. The land on
S2: which this podcast is recorded on. We pay our respects
S2: to their elders, past and present, and we extend that
S2: respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples here. Listening.
S2: Past and present. Always was. Always will be. Aboriginal land.
S3: Don't film me. You are ridiculous. Don't do that either.
S3: I'm sick of you. You're a nutcase. I don't care, mate.
S3: Look at you. You infuriate me as a human being.
S2: I mean, why.
S3: Are you recording? Can I pick my nose? Look, I'm sassy.
S3: Sassy Scott. All right? And welcome. We're gonna go straight
S3: into a podcast prank because it's not a Wednesday waffle.
S3: And when I let Scott speak first, we speak for
S3: a long time about to.
S2: Say one.
S3: Thing. Let me say, all right, I enjoy it.
S2: Anyway, let's get to it.
S3: Okay, so what we're about to do is something called
S3: call roulette. Oh, so is that what it's called? No, look.
S2: You just made it sound like roulette is someone's name.
S2: You said let's call roulette like RuPaul.
S3: Okay, so the game is called Call roulette, where I
S3: grab Scott's phone and I pick someone. It could be
S3: anyone in his contact list. And you've given me guidelines
S3: that I can only pick people that have, like Tim,
S3: Grindr or stuff like that. Is that what you said
S3: or not to do or not to do that? No.
S3: You're confused. I get confused cause, you know, I.
S2: Had sexcapades back in the days, and I'm sure I've.
S3: All like.
S2: And I've had.
S3: The same manager at the end or GM or those
S3: sort of stuff. Yeah, those big ones like Top Dog
S3: stay away from to do those ones. Stay away from them.
S3: So I've got his phone right now. Oh my God,
S3: the sweat. Just bed. What? Like I started beating out,
S3: like I just felt it. Is that what you call it?
S3: That's what I call it. Yeah, right. So I've got
S3: Scott's phone, and I've picked someone who I think is
S3: going to be great, and I hope they answer. And
S3: we've done this segment before, but we normally do it
S3: where our producer will call from outside. And a lot
S3: of with that, it doesn't come up. Scott's calling them
S3: and I don't like that because then it kind of
S3: feels a bit icky from the start. So we're gonna
S3: go big value here, Scott. Big production value. I'm going
S3: to need you to hold the phone to the microphone.
S3: That's going to be the issue here. So you can't
S3: look well, then make sure it's turned around the right way,
S3: the screen, but you can't turn the brightness down. Shut up.
S3: It doesn't matter if it's bright or not. You just
S3: don't face the phone towards you. Okay? And so what
S3: have I got? How long do I have to figure
S3: out who it is? Again, set the set the parameters up.
S3: How long do I have? I think it's infinite. I
S3: just want to hear for ages. It used to be
S3: a minute, but you have to keep him on the
S3: phone until you figure out who they are. That's more
S3: fun for me now. I feel like I now need
S3: to go and weed. You can't ask names? Yep. Can't
S3: ask if they've got children. What? You can't ask names
S3: or workplaces. How's work? How's work? You can ask how
S3: the kids are, but let's hope they've got kids. It
S3: could be very awkward for you. Yeah. Fuck. Okay. All right.
S3: And you don't know if they're going through a hard time,
S3: so maybe don't ask that question, Scott. What do you mean?
S3: Are you going through a hard time? Maybe. What if
S3: you ask those sort of questions? It could turn. Don't
S3: tell me how to fucking engage with people. I have
S3: a very high EQ. Thanks. Let's see. Right. So I'm
S3: about to call this person who'll be on loudspeaker. Are
S3: they dying? You don't know that. I can't give you
S3: any clues, Scott. Well, we're all dying, I suppose, but yeah.
S3: Can't ask workplace. Can't ask kids anything about names, place names,
S3: kids name. You can't be like, what suburb do you
S3: live again? You just have to do it based more
S3: about the to do that. And what suburb did you
S3: move to? Again, if I'm if I'm catching on, I
S3: have I need a few ticks in my boxes. Luke,
S3: I just gave you these examples and now you're wanting
S3: to use them. Cock block. I'm not. I don't want
S3: you to cheat. Okay. All right. Are you ready? Loud!
S3: Are you ready, Scott? Go! I was fucking born ready.
S3: I came out crawling. All right, don't look quick. It's calling. Hey,
S3: how are you?
S4: Good, darling. How are you?
S3: I am am I a bit tired? But that's just
S3: life now.
S4: Um, well, you've got two small, demanding sausages that want
S4: mango and things, so, you know.
S3: Like they are literally. I called Bobby Beckett, the mango monster.
S4: He's so funny. They're so different, aren't they? They're such
S4: sort of distinct little personalities.
S3: Could not be any more unique to one another.
S4: Yeah. It's fabulous, I love it.
S3: What are you up to?
S4: Just fucking around.
S3: Fucking around. That's what you are. Just. That's. If there's
S3: one thing I'm going to put on your gravestone, it's
S3: SEO fucking around.
S4: No, just, I don't know, stirring pots. What do you need?
S4: You need more fucking letters to tell people to go fight.
S3: Oh, you're the best neighbor in the world. You. Are
S3: you printing that off for me? Like that was so needed.
S4: Oh, that's fine, darling.
S3: Um, no, I don't need that printed off. I just
S3: need you to say suck. Shit. Luke Scott just won
S3: a point. Can you say that for me, please? Kate.
S4: Okay. Suck. Shit. Luke Scott just won a point.
S3: Yay! Hey, Kate. You you with Luke as well? I
S3: play this little game on the podcast where I call
S3: a random person in his phone, and he has to
S3: guess who it is. And you gave it away with
S3: the printing.
S4: Oh, shit. Sorry, sorry.
S3: Um, can we just say, everyone, this is Kate Forster,
S3: fucking tick tock extraordinaire, who's also my neighbour.
S4: Are you absolute fucking mean?
S3: So welcome to the Luke and Sassy Scott podcast, Kate.
S4: Well thank you, cherubs. I'm so pleased to be here.
S4: A little warning would have been nice.
S3: No, but then you'd give it away.
S4: Anything untoward?
S3: Well, hoping for that. You just have to watch your
S3: life to see that, right? Yeah, yeah.
S4: Oh, fuck a wank.
S3: How was life for you at the moment, Kate?
S4: It is okay. It's a solid seven out of ten.
S4: How's that?
S3: Well, listen, you're the only one that knows what it's
S3: like to have an account really banned. Like you lived
S3: through Luke's and my greatest fear. Are you. How have
S3: you recovered?
S4: It was pretty horrendous. Um, but it was also like,
S4: I just kind of let it happen. I was like,
S4: I can't do anything about it. My favorite part of
S4: that whole experience was me sucking up to the AI,
S4: because I thought it was a real person.
S3: No.
S4: Yeah. And I was like, yeah, I'm talking to I.
S4: I'm talking to the TikTok people, and they're really good.
S4: And people are like, no, you're not. That's AI. And
S4: I was like, you're so helpful. Thank you so.
S3: Much.
S5: You didn't stop flirting.
S4: Yeah. When the machines take over, they will remember me.
S4: They will remember that Kate was very polite when all
S4: of her videos got community violated. When I got violated.
S3: Fuck me. You got violated. They came for you, didn't they?
S3: They really did.
S4: Oh, yeah. No, I got bots, mate.
S3: Well, you and everyone else with their Russian bots. So,
S3: I mean, you're just one of us. I mean, our
S3: bots were weird, though. My bot, our bots just write gay,
S3: and I'm like, ill straight, like question mark. Are you straight?
S3: That's what. That's what my bots do. They're like ill,
S3: gay and I'm like, ill straight. TikTok was down. They
S3: were saying, oh, it was nice not getting any bots
S3: messages in those 14 hours. So they're like, are they
S3: all out of America then?
S4: Oh no. No Hillary ads for pants.
S3: What? That's not in my algorithm. That's not on mine.
S3: I don't know what a Hillary.
S4: Pants plus pants.
S3: Oh. How funny. Well, thanks so much for playing. Um,
S3: what is it? Call roulette?
S4: Loved it, loved it. All right, go create chaos.
S3: Thanks, mate. Bye bye. Well, there we go. That's how
S3: you kick off the year. May getting a point that easily. Look,
S3: you've got to try a little fucking harder than that.
S3: But that's not the point system. The point system is
S3: where I set you a challenge. No it's not. That's
S3: a point. We do this every time. No it's not,
S3: and I'm gonna fucking throw a mic through your fucking face.
S3: If you keep this shit up, you know that you
S3: are a sore loser. And it seethes. No, hold on,
S3: let me talk. Are you done? I've let you speak.
S3: I don't know if I'm done because sometimes things just
S3: come to me and I don't sit on them. Are
S3: you done? I don't know, I told you that. Let
S3: me know when you're done.
S6: Anyway, continue.
S7: No, I want Scott to tell me when he's done.
S3: And I won't tell him because I don't know if
S3: I'm done. You know, when we have that sound injury,
S3: like in the blue corner. Luke on three points. Yeah,
S3: that's not the segment. Yes, it fucking is called roulette. No,
S3: it's a whole different game. We do. Scott you don't
S3: even know your.
S6: Own for this one. I swear to God.
S3: See the fucking.
S6: Executive.
S3: Producer og of it then the OG. She's now fucking
S3: executive producer for over 12 months. Not the point system game.
S3: You're toxic. You are the saurus loser I've ever met
S3: in my life. I'm not. I'm not going to allow
S3: you to to be wrong. The audience knows exactly. And
S3: they're laughing at you. Hear yourself? What? It's embarrassing. What?
S3: That you're wrong. What? So when I'm right, I can't
S3: stand up for myself.
S6: Hey, guys.
S3: Why I try so hard? But we're so.
S6: You're so 2025. We're starting afresh. We're starting afresh. The
S6: scoreboard is wiped clean. The slate is wiped clean.
S3: So now I'm on one.
S6: Scott has one. But Luke has.
S3: A new thing, so at least.
S7: We're all on the same track.
S3: We'll do points now.
S6: Perfect.
S3: Who's going to find out whether or not like, I
S3: need this clear.
S6: Oh, I cannot be arsed going through the back catalogue,
S6: but I'll put it on my to do list.
S3: Thank you. Thank you. You know how Marcus and I
S3: take Mum and Dad out for their Christmas present to
S3: a really nice restaurant each year? I messaged mum, did
S3: I enjoy it? Of course they do. They go to
S3: the best restaurants and they get really nice time with
S3: one of their favourite sons. I was just asking, I
S3: didn't know I can't call you. Dad can be very
S3: picky about food. Yeah. Remember that time we took him?
S3: Here we go. Thank you. Hang on. Okay. I need
S3: to tell you, we took fucking mum and Dad to Vardaman.
S3: Vardaman is like one of the bougiest fucking restaurants in Australia.
S3: On the top of the Rialto. Correct? One of the
S3: tallest buildings in Melbourne. They come around with a little cart,
S3: trolley cart or whatever, which was like brandies and whiskeys
S3: or whatever. And dad's so blasé he was like, I'll
S3: have that one. And this guy goes, and he looked
S3: at me and said, are you comfortable with this? And
S3: I said, sure, give it to him. And it was
S3: something like a $900 bottle, a $900 shot of brandy.
S3: It was the most expensive, like liquor that they had
S3: in the place. Anyway, dad took a shot of it
S3: and he goes, yeah, yeah, it's pretty shit, actually. And
S3: everyone just had their jaws in their laps, like going.
S3: Did he know the price? He had no idea how
S3: much it was, but we thought he did. And he
S3: was just being like rude and like, Matt, take it
S3: away from me. That shit. And every mum was like,
S3: you are so ungrateful, David. Did you not hear how
S3: much that cost them? Anyway, I digress, but even the food,
S3: he would be like, oh, just the steak would be fine. No,
S3: I think now he's learned to go, hang on, we're
S3: going to a really good restaurant. Like appreciate the difference.
S3: And it's not just a steak that's coming out or
S3: a chicken parmigiana steak. It's a fucking degustation of God
S3: knows what beetroots done differently. So, does he enjoy it?
S3: Shut up. So I messaged mum and dad the other day.
S3: I said, hey, let's lock in a date for, um,
S3: our Christmas gift. Um, how does the 8th of February
S3: work for you? And now Marcus and I, I don't
S3: put it on you, but, like, scheduling is, like, is tiring, right?
S3: Being a dad, being having our career. It's a lot
S3: at the moment. Right. And mum wrote back and I
S3: said how does the 8th of February work. And she goes,
S3: um mate. Mate. Yep. She goes hate to, hate to
S3: break it to you. She did. She goes, um, mate,
S3: I hate to break it to you. That's your twin
S3: sons first birthday. Ooh, Scooter's got a naughty, naughty. Where
S3: the fuck has a year gone be? Forget my birthday. Yeah,
S3: because you've been around me like a fucking wet dog
S3: for 35 years. Me? No, it's like 35 years recurring.
S3: And I had this moment of like, oh my God,
S3: I'm a bad dad already. Like, I forgot their first birthday.
S3: How old they are in weeks. You forgot the one year.
S3: I don't even know how many weeks old they are now.
S3: What is it like? How many weeks in a year? 52.
S3: The 51 weeks old. Oh my God. And because they
S3: were preemie, we also had the adjusted age. So there
S3: were so many like, numbers that we had to carry
S3: with them. Right? And I can't even begin to really
S3: stop and think of what we've gone through as a
S3: family with the boys. How much my life has changed
S3: with them in it, and how much impact we've had
S3: on them and their life. Are we talking about their birthday?
S3: What the. No, we're talking about them in 12 months.
S3: The last 12 months. Of course. There's a birthday. I
S3: freaked out, and yes, I'm having a birthday. And don't
S3: give the details. By the way, I know you. You're
S3: the type that would be like, oh, it's this at
S3: this place. That would mean I've read the info. Have
S3: you read the invite? I know it's Sunday and I
S3: know there's a theme. Good. And I heard someone talking.
S7: About it being in a pub.
S3: Look, this is recorded. I know, and yes, it's at
S3: a park. So which park? What? Marcus and I thought
S3: we freaked out. I'm like, oh, my God. They turned
S3: 1 in 2 weeks. How are we going to. How
S3: are we going to organise their party? Now everyone and
S3: anyone that knows or can remember when we had the
S3: baby shower, there were four balloons, 443 people that came.
S3: Was it really? Yeah.
S7: God, you were desperate for presents.
S3: Uh, no. We have a lot of really good friends
S3: and family. When you're kind to people and you allow
S3: them into your life. They're nice to you. Oh, that
S3: makes sense. Yeah, yeah. And so we had so many
S3: wonderful people. And then this pressure of going, oh my God,
S3: it's in two weeks. And then I thought, maybe if
S3: we do the invitations and send them out now, half
S3: the people won't be able to come. Having to shave
S3: half of the people off because it's just that's so
S3: many people and it's so overwhelming. It's their first birthday.
S3: They won't remember that they're not shaving me off. Well,
S3: you kind of close. You came close. I was like
S3: to Marcus. I'm like, he's an asshole. Do we want
S3: him there? Content. So that's why. Mhm. So I just
S3: scraped through just because there's 240 people that have been
S3: invited to this one. So we shaved a lot off
S3: and so I made it. So that means there's what
S3: 200 odd people that have disappointed you. Like it seems
S3: like it's not a venue holding thing at the park.
S3: So why have you shaved so many off? Uh, why?
S3: Because I think some of these people maybe have. Oh, God.
S3: Our friends don't listen to our podcast, so it's fine. Oh, good. Okay, cool.
S3: They know. Um. I find the people that were so
S3: easy to tick and invite were those people that reached
S3: out in the last 12 months that were active in
S3: being able to say, Hope you're okay. Thinking of you guys.
S3: It's literally 5050. I said to Marcus, sometimes I'm gonna
S3: get upset. There's some people in our life that were really, really, um,
S3: vocal with and always around and always trying to be
S3: around and to support. And there was some nights where, like,
S3: life was so full on for me and Marcus that
S3: I was like, it's it feels like it's silent. Like
S3: there's people that we're so actively always supporting and being
S3: around and caring for. And there were times where I
S3: was like, do people not know that we're just new
S3: dads like our friends and family? Do they not know
S3: that being a dad of twins would be a lot?
S3: And given our career and given everything else that's going on,
S3: there was Marcus having business pressures and everything, and people
S3: were silent that we've always been really active and forward
S3: in their life when it came to support and their problems.
S3: And so some people just didn't even fucking text in
S3: the last 12 months to go, oh my God, it
S3: must be must be pretty hard what you guys are
S3: going through. Do you need anything? Hope you're well. So
S3: it was kind of easy to go. All right, they're
S3: off the list. Then there was another. Have you actually
S3: done that? When people have babies, though, it's something I've
S3: never really thought of. Yeah. I suppose you don't know
S3: a lot of things until you're in it. No, I
S3: message a lot of people all the time. I'm very
S3: active and I know I can't expect people to treat
S3: me like them, but I do kind of expect that
S3: some people in 12 months could go, hey, thinking of you.
S3: Must be a lot. Hope you're well. That's not hard.
S3: All right, so for the 200 people that you've invited,
S3: a majority coming. So they're all coming because he invites
S3: just went out. I said to Marcus. And do you
S3: know what the strategy here is? We'll hold off for
S3: another two days because it's only two weeks out. People go,
S3: can't come. We've already got plans. Only two people have
S3: said they can't make it. Who was that? Fucking one
S3: of our aunties. So now I've called the fucking food
S3: truck van. I'm like, up the order. It's not 150 people,
S3: 240 people coming. I had to get more stuff from TMU,
S3: which is driving me insane. I've got giant animals that
S3: are coming like fake ones, because the park wouldn't allow
S3: real ones like pony rides and stuff, which I tried
S3: to like. Fake big animals like a whale. No, like
S3: giant horses and cows and stuff like that are like.
S3: What's that? Poly. Yeah, it's just.
S5: Funny.
S3: I've got picnic rugs. I've got face painters. Can I sing? Why?
S3: I'm a singer. No. Oh, um. And they love it
S3: when I sing. So then just like, let's just. And
S3: then I have to. I learned from all the twins
S3: in our life that reached out to us when we
S3: became dads, saying. You always need two separate birthday cakes.
S3: Never given one cake. So I've had to fucking breathe
S3: in two separate birthday cakes to the cake maker. I've
S3: got 200 fucking cupcakes. And then they're like, so did
S3: these people want the birthday song twice? No. Yes, we
S3: sing it twice. Have they said that? Yes. Have they? Yes.
S3: And guess what, my children, I paved the way. We
S3: sing Happy Birthday to Oliver because it's his birthday. Then
S3: we sing Happy Birthday to Bobby Becket because it's his birthday.
S3: But when I've gone to other birthdays where, like, two
S3: people's birthdays are in the room, like, you sing it
S3: once and they go, Luke and Scott like and move on.
S3: I don't know, would they like the attention of singing twice?
S3: Guess what? What? That's how it's going to be. Oh, no,
S3: I'm not attached. I'm not attaching them. Who goes to
S3: each other? A baby, a witch and baby. It was
S3: baby A and baby B. That's how we always worked
S3: when they were in the womb and carried by Amber.
S3: Baby a baby b. So baby A's Oliver, baby B's
S3: Bobby Becket. So I won't give it my all in
S3: the first.
S5: I can't lose all my breath for the second song.
S6: Exactly. Pace yourself, Uncle Luca. Boy. Question. Scott. Yeah. When
S6: you were talking about, like, realizing that some people in
S6: that first year of fatherhood, like the kind of people
S6: who would reach out and the kind of people that
S6: wouldn't How? What would you say to someone who has
S6: a friend who's going through that and they don't know
S6: how to reach out? Like I a couple a lot
S6: of my girlfriends are 4 or 5 years older than me,
S6: and they all had children before me. And I think
S6: there was a time where I didn't want to feel
S6: like I was giving them like a task to do,
S6: to reply to me, like, what's the best way to
S6: reach out? Like, what would you have appreciated?
S3: I would have loved thinking of you guys. Can't even
S3: imagine how exciting and full on life must be. Let
S3: me know if there's anything I can do. It's so
S3: easy to do and it's what I do for so
S3: many people all the fucking time. Which is probably why
S3: my head's so, you know, at, um, capacity. But because
S3: I think of others and I know you can't. You
S3: can't make people think of you. But now I'm like,
S3: I've got children in my life. And it just would
S3: have made sense for. Well, no. What is it? I
S3: always say when somebody shows you who they are, believe them.
S3: Some people chose over 12 months of time to not
S3: actively reach out and say, how's it going? Hope you're well.
S3: We haven't spoken about. Oh, no. We spoke about the theme.
S3: Did you? Texan rancher. Cowboy theme. So then in my
S3: fucking freak out, he's got mum out shopping for a
S3: whole day. That's a supportive person. Mum goes, one of
S3: my sons is at capacity. How can I help him?
S3: Because that's what kind people do. I get my kindness
S3: from our mother. And then she was looking for an
S3: outfit for you. And then you went. Actually, mum, don't worry,
S3: I've got one in the moment. I said, mum, stop
S3: looking for me. Our stylist has just come over for
S3: a fitting and I asked him just before he came,
S3: do you have any cowboy themed stuff that I could wear?
S3: And he brought it and I said, mum, stop shopping
S3: for me. I've got something. So what are you wearing?
S3: What do you want to leave it as a surprise.
S3: The chaps for people to go follow us on the gram.
S3: I'm wondering whether I can do them assless because it
S3: is going to be hot and just wear a jockstrap. Um, no. What? Why?
S6: Public indecency.
S3: Yeah. You can go to jail If you're wearing a
S3: G string, it's a G string. It's a jockstrap. So
S3: there's nothing. Is there? Yes.
S8: Yes. Your whole ass out in the children's park. At
S8: least make some sort of material.
S3: But I think I'll be like a cute gay cowboy. Dad. No,
S3: you'll have 200. And what, 40 people vomiting.
S6: Save that for the after party.
S3: I am the after party, though. What presents do you
S3: want for them? Uh, we have said absolutely no presents.
S3: Our children are so privileged. But we would love it
S3: if you really do want to spend something on them.
S3: To donate money to the Ronald McDonald House in Amarillo, Texas,
S3: where Marcus and I lived for like a month, which was,
S3: we don't need to go back there, but they were
S3: the most supporting, caring organization and people, and they deserve
S3: the money. They don't have the privilege like our sons have.
S3: And I know the boys have a lot of internet
S3: aunties and uncles, and so and I get messages all
S3: the time of like, we want to send the boys
S3: stuff and if you wanted to get them anything for
S3: their birthday, you can donate to to the Ronald McDonald
S3: House in Amarillo in the boys names for their first birthday.
S4: Luke, Luke and sassy. Sassy.
S6: Sassy.
S4: Scott.
S3: Scott and I are preparing ourselves to be fresh.
S8: Losers on.
S3: Friday. We're becoming really good losers. We are the underdogs,
S3: Australia's greatest underdogs when it comes to any award. It's true.
S3: So we're up for an actor award this Friday for
S3: favourite Australian digital creators. Digital creators and the actors are what?
S3: The Australian Academy of Cinema and Television Awards. Right. So
S3: and it's very prestigious. Last year I got to hang
S3: out with your Margot Robbie's your Cate Blanchett. Rebel. Wilson. Rebel.
S3: Russell Crowe is hosting it this year. He is indeed.
S3: But let's take you back. Three years ago, when Luke
S3: and I first came into the scene, fell into it.
S3: We were nominated. So first is a nomination. And a
S3: lot of you would have nominated for us as well.
S3: So thank you. Thank you. But the list to nominate,
S3: it's something like 50 to 100 creators are on this
S3: list to begin with. And then they, the top eight
S3: will then be able to go to the. They'll be nominated.
S3: So you choose who you want to be nominated. So
S3: it's it's like it's so to make the shortlist is
S3: still a win for us. And that's what we got
S3: to remember. That's all we need to remember because we
S3: know we're winning. Yeah we know we don't win anything.
S3: Yeah it hits us hard. I know at first we
S3: used to we we struggled with losing. But now we
S3: enjoy I enjoyed the losing because you make easy content
S3: around it, to be honest. One week back to back,
S3: we were put up for our TikTokers Creative TikTokers of
S3: the year or whatever. And then the week after for this,
S3: this award. And we went back to back week after
S3: week losing to some a creator called Cat Clark. Yeah.
S3: Cat Clark. She's amazing. And looking back.
S8: Now, we were always going to lose. We were delusional.
S3: Delusional like people like her army is just ridiculous. I mean,
S3: we love you and the support you give us, but like,
S3: fucking the armies of the cat Clark's of the world.
S3: So second year in a row, we get nominated again.
S3: Who do we lose to? Cat Clark. Catherine fucking Clark,
S3: it's Caitlin, is it? I don't know, I call her Catherine.
S3: Remember when we did a roadshow with her? Not long ago?
S3: We were on a panel and she laughed. I said,
S3: Catherine Clark. And she was just like, shut up, Scott.
S3: I never think of short names.
S8: If there got to be a longer name or.
S3: Not. But here we are going for our three peat
S3: to lose an actor award again in two days time.
S3: We're going to be up on the Gold Coast. So
S3: last year I actually went by myself. Yes, because I
S3: was collecting my twin sons who were over in Texas. Yeah.
S3: That's right. You looked good last year. Yeah, I remember
S3: as well. I had chewing gum on the red carpet
S3: and everyone was like, Luke, you never chew gum on
S3: a red carpet. Apparently, I looked awful. Well, yeah, because
S3: a there's photographers and you're doing interviews all along the
S3: red carpet, so why the fuck would you be slapping your.
S3: It was one of those days where it was stormy,
S3: wet but hot. So I struggle, sweat, you sweat, I sweat.
S3: I can't stop sweating. There was no stopping the sweat.
S3: And do you know what? Hang on. You know what
S3: one of the tricks is in entertainment. Breathe through your nose.
S3: Hold it, then through your mouth. That's just breathing. No,
S3: that's to stop sweat. Oh, no. The thing you do
S3: with sweat is you have to lean into it, lean
S3: into it, and wipe it off. Because people start to
S3: get really nervous about sweating. So then you over sweat.
S3: So if you lean into it and be like, I'm wet,
S3: it's a hot day. No, start beating your face and
S3: taking it off you because otherwise you start profusely sweating
S3: and you get really nervous. But I did. But then
S3: my white jacket was starting to go see through, so
S3: I so I stopped doing that as well. Yeah, it
S3: was really sweaty. It was really slapping your fucking. What
S3: was the awards like last year? Because clearly you're bringing
S3: me this year. And so I bring the star power
S3: when you and I walk onto a red carpet. That's true.
S3: But maybe you are somewhat right, because last year, Scott,
S3: when I checked, when I checked in, all the digital
S3: creators were able to sit together. So you had your
S3: Katherine Clark's. You had your. Yeah. Who else was up
S3: for it? Oh, don't do that to me on the
S3: Maddie McCrea. Oh, yeah. Big creators. Bridey. She was up
S3: for it last year, too. Yeah. Who else? And she
S3: lost to Cat Clark. Were the only guys up last year.
S3: They were all girls into Clinton. She was there. Oh,
S3: for fuck's sake. Right. So they were all there who
S3: were gonna lose to. But they were like, sorry, Luke. No.
S3: First they had me up the top, like near the back.
S3: And I was like, oh, they said, we're all sitting
S3: together and they're like, oh, sorry, you shouldn't be up here.
S3: We're in like a stadium. Yeah. Where people buy tickets. Right.
S3: So I didn't know what was going on, what I know.
S3: So I'm like, oh, everyone said that we're supposed to
S3: be sitting there like, oh, we're so sorry, Luke, blah, blah, blah.
S3: So they brought me down where the creators and that are.
S3: But there were no seats, obviously. So then they sat
S3: me behind like the tech desk. What? Did I never
S3: tell you this? No. So I'm behind the tech desk
S3: calling the fucking show, going, Margot Robbie's up next. Pretty much. Yeah,
S3: I had screens in front of me. They just completely
S3: forgot about it. They forgot about us? Well, no, because
S3: I never RSVP. They knew I wasn't going. We did.
S3: We brought Bella instead of, you know, we we knew
S3: that Bella, our manager, was going in place of me.
S3: It's going to happen again this year. It might happen
S3: again this year. No, it will happen. I'll flip a
S3: fucking table. I'm like, get me a fucking table. There
S3: were no tables. It's a theater. I don't get dressed up. What? Yeah.
S3: It's like Rosie we went was. Yeah, it's not in Sydney,
S3: it's in Gold Coast. Oh yeah. It's like a so
S3: we don't eat during it. No, I'm trying to think.
S3: Do you eat after it? I didn't even know there
S3: was a little bit of food after it. Like the aftertaste.
S3: Odd that it starts at 1 p.m.. That's the only
S3: odd thing. Gold coast. Hang on. So what role were
S3: the creators on last year? Row 2 or 3 or four? No,
S3: they were very far back to the digital creators. We're
S3: saying like second half of the room. What? Mhm. Yeah.
S3: We weren't sitting with you rebels and your Cate Blanchett's
S3: and your Margot Robbie Scott. Well you weren't. I might be. No.
S3: Even the winners. Cate Clarke wasn't even. Anyway, we're up
S3: for the award, which is very exciting, very exciting. We
S3: are prepared to lose again for the third year in
S3: a row. It's great to just be nominated. We've learned
S3: it's a great room to be in. I'm like, oh, hey,
S3: Celeste Barber. Hey, everyone. How? She's like, that guy kind
S3: of looks familiar. Yeah, she follows us. Does she? Yeah. Um, no.
S3: Who do I have the best chat with last year? Oh,
S3: my God, I feel bad for forgetting his name. You're
S3: gonna love Costa, the gardener man who has, like, flowers
S3: in his beard. Oh, yeah? Yeah. He's awesome. Can we?
S3: We will never name the name. But the first year
S3: that Luke and I went to this show. Oh, yeah.
S3: We told you to shut up. We don't talk about
S3: the black book. You've openly spoken about this before? Not
S3: in this way. No, we can't say their name. Please
S3: beep them. Just say it. They were the rudest person.
S3: They called you out for something. They're known for. But
S3: you had my back in it. You thought it was
S3: really rude. That's what you always say when we tell
S3: people about it. Yeah, cause she was piercing my ears
S3: as well. So there was a person who has who
S3: is a huge celebrity. They are big. And we were
S3: being interviewed. I think it was by ABC or E! No,
S3: it was entertainment news. Yeah, E! News and and on
S3: the red carpet with the media is. It's really cool. No,
S3: we're also calling the lady who is interviewing us. You
S3: said the wrong name and I went with it. You
S3: called him Martina. So I started calling her Martina. And
S3: her name's not Martina. I had to text her the
S3: next day, going, we're so sorry. She's like, yeah, I
S3: kept laughing. I don't know why you were calling me Martina.
S3: Why did I call? Maybe it's cause you just were like, oh, hello, Martina.
S3: And I was like, oh, he's confident. I'll be confident.
S3: So as we're doing this interview, um, next second and
S3: it's so loud, there's so much going on photographers and
S3: and that are screaming you, you all packing next to each.
S3: Chris Hemsworth's behind you. It's full on. Energy's everywhere. And, um,
S3: we're being interviewed by E! And then next, second, somebody
S3: next to me turned around dressed in like a kimono
S3: or something and said, excuse me, would you shut up?
S3: You're so loud. And I looked at this person who
S3: I've looked up to my entire life. Um, they are
S3: somebody that I deeply respected for what they've done for
S3: my community, what they've done for the arts and culture.
S3: They just all of a sudden, you know, when you
S3: hear that, you know that saying of don't meet your heroes.
S3: All of a sudden my jaws dropped and this person
S3: wasn't looking at me in a kind way. It was
S3: like a shut your fucking mouth so I can do
S3: my interview. And they clearly didn't get the brief on me,
S3: did they? Luke, they didn't get the memo. Hopefully, maybe
S3: they'll be there on Friday. So very quickly I turned
S3: around and I said, that's fucking rich. Coming from somebody
S3: who's made a career out of screaming and carrying on
S3: their whole life, too. And Luke and I just looked
S3: at each other and our guts sank. Right. It wasn't
S3: nice like it was. It was a pit feeling. And
S3: then we just put our back to the person and
S3: kept on with the interview and everyone else. The ABC
S3: were interviewing that person. They looked over at me like, oh, sorry,
S3: that was bad on their behalf. Anyway, that person's name
S3: went into our black book. Yes, I reckon they will
S3: be at this event on Saturday and I don't care.
S3: Robbie Williams will be performing. What? Yeah, cause he fuck,
S3: he's the better man. Movies out, which was made by
S3: he's Australian live. Yeah. Robbie Williams, not Robin. Robbie. I
S3: know Robin's past. Yeah, I know, that's why I thought
S3: you were more shocked. Robert. Hang on. Robbie. Robbie! Robert.
S3: Now I'm confused. The singer, not Irwin. Robert. That's Robert Irwin. No,
S3: there's Robbie Williams, Robbie Williams. Spunk. He's really on the
S3: media tour at the moment, isn't he? Yeah. He's everywhere. Well,
S3: he's got his movie out. I need to go see
S3: the movie and go. How many songs can you do?
S3: Go next one. And through it all, she asks me.
S3: Pretend to go. I'll make a list. I can't, I
S3: can't think of any more. Come on.
S9: Come on. Done. They're selling razor blades and mirrors in
S9: the streets. That's the best one. That one's got the
S9: most meaning and hurt behind it.
S3: Oh, Luke's just showed us a side to him. Can
S3: we pull up the lyrics to that song and read
S3: them out? And we're going to learn more about Luke.
S3: Robbie Williams come undone. And when I.
S6: Come so unimpressed Rest. But so ignore such a saint.
S6: But such.
S3: Such a.
S6: Whore. So self-aware, so full of shit, so indecisive, so adamant.
S6: I'm contemplating, thinking about thinking it's overrated. Just get another
S6: drink and watch me come undone. They're selling razor blades
S6: and mirrors in the street I pray that when I'm
S6: coming down, you'll be asleep. If I ever hurt you.
S6: Your revenge will be so sweet. Because I'm scum and
S6: I'm your son. Oh, I come undone. That's really sad.
S3: Yeah, it's a nice song. So you've got daddy issues, Luke? No,
S3: I just really like the song.
S6: Uh, anybody else you're excited to see?
S3: Chris? It'll be good to see Christopher again. Oh, what
S3: if they run into her? No, Scott's got too many
S3: in his black book. Gotta be at the. Okay, this other.
S3: At least. I don't know if you know this story,
S3: but I was accosted and abused by somebody on this
S3: red carpet But after I was yelled at by somebody,
S3: I really looked up to. Scott was trying to talk
S3: to another celebrity. We were given the okay and we
S3: were being supported by TikTok Australia to interview some people
S3: on the red carpet, and the actors wanted us doing
S3: it as well. Anyway, they all said there's one person
S3: you won't be able to talk to, that's Chris Hemsworth.
S3: And I said, oh, I'll get him. He'll talk to us.
S3: And then anyway, as he's coming through the red carpet,
S3: I'm like, hey, Chris. And he was like, hey, how
S3: you doing? Me and Luke start talking to him, a
S3: person I feel a pain, a sharp pain, like I'm
S3: being shivved in jail. Um. And it was the worst
S3: thing ever. I'm being pinched here really fucking hard by someone.
S3: And I turn around and it's someone from his publicity
S3: team is going. No questions. Do not talk to him.
S3: And I look at this person in horror. Chris Hemsworth
S3: has realised what's going on. So he puts his arm
S3: around me, right? And starts and I'm oblivious. I'm like,
S3: Scott's being so weird and I'm like, shook. I'm like,
S3: I'm being hurt. Someone's pinching me really hard. Chris has
S3: put his arm around me and he goes to Luke,
S3: tell him to ask the question. And this person in
S3: his publicity team was like, do not talk to him,
S3: and was squeezing my little fatty roll on my hip, right?
S3: And then Luke goes, Scott, Scott! He said, ask the question. Go.
S3: And so Chris is like spinning me around to shield
S3: me from this fucking horrible person that's then following me
S3: around going like this, like with little clippers pinching me, right?
S3: And then I said to Chris, oh, hey, we're up
S3: for an award tonight. We haven't prepared a speech, should we?
S3: And he goes, I'm up for an award. Um, I
S3: haven't prepared a speech. I'll write your one, you write
S3: my one, and we'll come back and meet her in
S3: like an hour or something. And I was like, okay,
S3: this person still pinching me, going, get away from him,
S3: get away from him. Right. Anyway, Luke, put that video up.
S3: People like Scott's so scared and intimidated by Chris Hemsworth.
S3: Everyone's like, he's so star struck. Oh, that's really cute. Scott,
S3: you're red in the face. And then we brought people's
S3: attention to the fact that, no, there was a person
S3: standing behind. I think we ever spoke about it. Oh.
S3: Did we? No. On the talk we were saying, oh,
S3: look at what's happening. No we didn't. Yeah we did.
S3: And people we did it on a live. I haven't
S3: posted it. Maybe alive. Anyway. And someone in his publicity
S3: team and he has a big team and their job
S3: is to keep him moving. If you ever got that big,
S3: I'd like someone that on my team, wouldn't you not?
S6: Nah, that's pretty cool.
S3: It's pretty cool. No, you are a imagine hiring a pincher.
S3: The people you hire and the people in your team
S3: are a reflection of you. And so you need a
S3: pincher on our list. It hurts so much.
S6: And it means that he can get away. He can
S6: keep being a nice guy and he just gets to,
S6: like everyone else, gets to do the crappy work.
S3: He came across very nice. He knew he was like,
S3: she's doing her thing, but these guys are cool. I'm
S3: going to chat to them. And that's why he said
S3: to Luke, tell him to ask the question. And he
S3: was like moving me around and shielding me from her.
S3: But it really hurt and it really shocked me. You
S3: were hurt for a while after it, and I went
S3: to the table and I was like, that fucking bitch
S3: was pinching me. And I was shocked. I was like,
S3: what if I started pinching a purse, a woman or
S3: anyone on the red carpet? They'd be like, abuse, call
S3: the police. Like you pinch anyone, you'd probably get in trouble.
S3: It really hurt. I don't like being pinched, so I
S3: hate it. I've got some. Someone pinched me on a
S3: red carpet. I don't know what I would do. It
S3: was horrible. I'm surprised you did nothing. And just before it,
S3: I got screamed at by somebody. Who? You were a
S3: bit nervous because it was Chris Hemsworth. That's why you
S3: didn't want to call someone out for pinch Me. I
S3: definitely wasn't nervous. But he's a lovely guy, Chris. He's
S3: been good to catch up with you. Anyway, uh, go
S3: follow us on the socials to see us lose again
S3: this coming Friday. Biggest losers right here. Luke and Scott.
S3: Third time in a row. It's something we know how
S3: to do. Well, it's lose, it's lose.
S6: You guys are always winners to me.
S3: Oh, thanks. Somebody in our studio. Get him the fuck out!
S3: Pinch him!
S1: Mom!
S10: No! She didn't. Oh! Stop it! No! Fuck off! Stop it!
S10: Sibling squabbles.
S11: Hey, I'll jump right in. So, um, it's probably about
S11: eight Christmases ago now. We had, like, 16 people over
S11: because my mom's a bit like yours and wants to
S11: invite all the waifs and strays. My brother was 18,
S11: and he hadn't really been into drinking before that. He
S11: was a bit of a wet bloke like Luke. No offence. Yeah,
S11: we were playing beer pong with my girlfriend at the time,
S11: now the mother of my children, and she was going
S11: pretty hard on him, like we didn't have any beer,
S11: so we were using prosecco and he was losing bad.
S11: And he was starting to look real, like white in
S11: the face. She's going really hard on him. And I
S11: was like, oh, maybe take it a bit easy on him.
S11: Like he's not looking so good. And then all of
S11: a sudden he just disappears. And I was like, now
S11: look what you've done. You know, he's gone to thrown up.
S11: About an hour goes past and he still hasn't come
S11: out of the bathroom and all the guys are peeing outside,
S11: but all the girls are starting to dance on the spot,
S11: like desperate to get in there. So a few people
S11: have gone up and tried to get him out and
S11: he's not answering. So I went up and I'm banging
S11: on the door and I just sort of like, weakly
S11: hear him say that he'll be a minute. And I
S11: was like, just open the door. Like, I know you've
S11: thrown up. You've probably missed the toilet. Like, we'll clean
S11: it up. It's not a problem. But he would not
S11: open the door. And my dad got so pissed and
S11: he just raced up the stairs. He was like bashing
S11: on the door. And eventually you hear the lock go
S11: and we open the door. Now, to this day, my
S11: brother believes that he threw up on the floor and
S11: that was the extent of it. And that's where the
S11: sibling squabble comes in. The truth is, he was throwing
S11: up in the toilet with his pants down and he
S11: shat all over the floor. Sorry if you're listening to this, Jay.
S11: All over the floor. Liquid shit completely coated the bathroom.
S11: It was horrendous and he was just lying in it,
S11: like on his back or his front. Oh, but he
S11: was just covered. Covered. So me and my dad, we
S11: grabbed him by the ankle and we sort of dragged
S11: him through it out onto the landing. Through the landing
S11: into his room. And we just deposited him in his
S11: room and just left him there because I was like, oh.
S3: And he's.
S11: Poo. And my dad proceeded to, like, clean it all up.
S11: It never came out of the ground like, oh, it
S11: was the worst, most horrific thing I've ever seen in
S11: my life. My mum was pissed because we didn't clean
S11: him up, so she went upstairs and cleaned him up.
S11: But anyway, the squabble is like to this day, we're
S11: not allowed to bring it up to him to save
S11: him the embarrassment. So I've come on the podcast and
S11: told you the story, of course, but the squabble has
S11: always been like, can we just tell him already? Like
S11: it's been eight years. Like grow from it. Anyway, massive
S11: fan of the podcast. Love you guys. Love my Aussie missus.
S11: And uh, yeah. Shout out.
S12: That's great.
S3: What a way to kick off 20 fucking 25 could
S3: have been an episode in best squabble we've ever had.
S3: One of the best that is up there with top three.
S3: Holy fuck balls. The smell of the poo.
S6: Do you think that they should tell him?
S3: Yes. He won't believe it. It's been too long. He
S3: knows he can remember. He will know. He knows. Blackout
S3: is serious, though. I used to blackout and miss certain
S3: details of shit covered in shit. The smell of human
S3: fucking faeces is so bad. Best sibling squirrel. Is it
S3: the best sibling squabble that it reminds me of Zak.
S3: And we know the smell. I remember getting called into
S3: work in radiography once when it was like 3 a.m.
S3: in the morning, and it was this really urgent case
S3: that was from the country where they were bleeding out,
S3: and there was another doctor or surgeon that had a
S3: finger on the artery to stop them bleeding out. And
S3: it was something like they'd been in the helicopter and everything.
S3: It was like one of those ones from a classic
S3: TV show you would watch, where it was very much
S3: like she took her hand away. Pen in the throat.
S3: If the artery will bleed. Like it was going to
S3: be the pressure. Would have probably killed the patient. Patient
S3: was covered in shit like this person. Shouldn't laugh. Well,
S3: I know we've walked in the room and everyone's like.
S3: And then, like, the poor surgeon who's got the hand
S3: is being like. Can someone please clean them? Like, cause
S3: I couldn't move away from them. And so I was
S3: the only one there. And you walked up. I had
S3: to clean poo off. You don't do anything for anyone else.
S3: I was getting paid for it. At least a double time.
S3: Because it's on call, but. Oh, that's what it reminded
S3: me of. And the stench and the dirtiness. And it's
S3: not just a clean wipe. It's everywhere. And each area
S3: probably needed, like three big wipes. Like, I'm not a nurse.
S3: Like nurses would know how to do. They do that
S3: every day on their shifts. I wasn't ready for it,
S3: and that's what reminded me of it just then. Zack,
S3: you are a fucking top tier. You are the definition
S3: of a sibling and sibling squabble. Thank you so much. Jake,
S3: it's time for you to know that you shut yourself
S3: when you drank too much once. Fuck it. Why don't
S3: we get on to them and get him to say
S3: it on the podcast live? We can try. I reckon
S3: we would do it. We can try. To all of
S3: our UK mates out there as well. Thanks so much
S3: for your support. We see you and we hear you
S3: a lot in all of the messages you send us.
S3: So thank you. And speaking of saying thank you, we
S3: are now going to dive deep into the reviews that you,
S3: the listener, leaves for us, for us to read out. Yeah.
S3: So you're leaving these on any of the podcast platforms
S3: that you're listening to this? You write it on Spotify,
S3: write it on Apple, write it wherever you can, and
S3: this is where we're going to find them and read
S3: them out. Emily says, I love this show so much.
S3: My fiance thinks I'm crazy. Much love from Canada. Luke. Mitchie. Mitchie. Mitchie. Mitchie. Mitchie. Your. Chris.
S3: Your Christmas episode with your parents was joyous to listen to.
S3: Thank you for bringing David and Des to join us
S3: in our ears. Stick around for another 12 months and
S3: we might bring him back at the end of this year.
S3: Cassandra Christmas with Mum and dad. My mum passed away.
S3: I'm gonna cry. My mum passed away in 2004 and
S3: my dad wasn't a part of my life. So many
S3: things I wish I could ask her, but hearing you
S3: to speak to your parents brought me warmth and happiness.
S3: Thank you so much. Scott, it's been 21 years for Cassandra.
S13: Okay, I know.
S3: You're finding out for the first time, but she has
S3: a 21.
S6: Years.
S3: Okay, next is E Partington. G'day, Luke and Scott. Listening
S3: to your incredible podcast means more to me than a
S3: lot of people do know. Earlier this year, I was
S3: struggling deeply with my mental health when I felt like
S3: I needed something to help me get through the day.
S3: I will listen to this podcast and without a doubt
S3: it would bring me joy. Listening to you to bicker
S3: made me believe there is faith in this world. Kudos boys,
S3: and thank you for everything. Do you know what I
S3: feel like when I get these messages? I'm sure you
S3: don't read them on the main account, but so many
S3: people write how much we help them, and I just
S3: see them now as messages and I respond to everyone individually,
S3: but they don't have this emotional effect or toll on me, um,
S3: like they did at the very start. Or I think
S3: it's because I'm not putting them out. Like hearing you
S3: read that out has an effect on me. It makes
S3: it more, more real. So when I just see it
S3: as a message, when people share incredible things with me.
S3: Thank you for listening. Follow the podcast by chat. All right.
S3: That brings us.
S14: To the end of today's episode. Wherever you're listening to us,
S14: write a review because we hope we can read them
S14: out next week. Thank you for coming along for the
S14: journey again. Remember to also follow us on Instagram Luke
S14: and Sassy Scott Podcast, because that's where our lovely producer,
S14: Elise will ask you for help and get your voice
S14: and be a part of the podcast too. So make
S14: sure you're there for us. You won't be a part
S14: of it.
S15: Luke I'm sassy. Sassy Scott.