WEBVTT - Do you look at your partner’s phone? 0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:03.590 Listener. 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:07.520 Crackpot acknowledges the traditional owners and custodians of the land 0:00:07.520 --> 0:00:10.670 in which we are recording this podcast. The Ulucay Wolen 0:00:10.670 --> 0:00:13.250 clan of the Boomerang who were a part of the 0:00:13.250 --> 0:00:16.790 Kulin nation. We pay our respects to our elders, past 0:00:16.790 --> 0:00:20.030 and present, and extend our respect to Aboriginal and Torres 0:00:20.030 --> 0:00:21.920 Strait Islander peoples today. 0:00:23.030 --> 0:00:24.829 Welcome to the Kick Pod a. 0:00:24.829 --> 0:00:28.220 Damn with your besties on the stuff that matters. One. Two. Three. 0:00:28.220 --> 0:00:36.800 Four. One. Two. Three. Four. 0:00:37.820 --> 0:00:39.710 Hello? Kick. 0:00:39.710 --> 0:00:41.030 Pod tech. Sydney. 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:44.630 Kick. Pod tech. Sydney. It does. We are recording in 0:00:44.630 --> 0:00:49.129 Sydney today, guys. Which for your ears is exactly identical. 0:00:49.220 --> 0:00:52.879 But we. We just had to. I don't know, it's 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:54.620 not even a confession. Yes. 0:00:54.830 --> 0:00:58.160 Producer Lindsay is in our ears instead of over by 0:00:58.160 --> 0:00:59.790 the window, which feels very odd. 0:00:59.820 --> 0:01:01.620 We keep looking to the window and then I'm like, 0:01:01.650 --> 0:01:03.090 oh yes, Lindsay's in Melbourne. 0:01:04.650 --> 0:01:07.470 But we are so, so excited to be here. And 0:01:07.470 --> 0:01:10.470 we've had such a big week full of very, very 0:01:10.470 --> 0:01:13.320 cool and exciting projects, one of which that we actually 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:18.630 announced yesterday. So when we're recording this episode, we have 0:01:18.660 --> 0:01:22.289 been up here because we shot for our brand new 0:01:22.290 --> 0:01:26.700 Stax collection, which is so exciting because we announced yesterday 0:01:26.700 --> 0:01:30.389 that we have got another collection. Um, and our affirmation 0:01:30.390 --> 0:01:32.460 behind this collection, if you were a fan of the 0:01:32.459 --> 0:01:35.340 first one, you would know it was I am enough. 0:01:35.340 --> 0:01:37.530 And this one is I can and I will. 0:01:37.530 --> 0:01:40.110 It's been so exciting. So the first collection launch in 0:01:40.140 --> 0:01:42.300 it was crazy. It's Feb, February February this year. So 0:01:42.300 --> 0:01:46.200 six months ago. And everyone it was it was actually 0:01:46.230 --> 0:01:49.650 like it exceeded every expectation. It sold out in like 0:01:49.650 --> 0:01:52.650 half an hour VIP night which was in 30 minutes. 0:01:52.650 --> 0:01:55.560 Then when we went live the next day to everyone 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:57.000 that wasn't in the VIP list, and we're going to 0:01:57.000 --> 0:01:58.600 put a link for you to be able to sign 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:00.970 up to the VIP list, so you can be on that. 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:03.100 It's like a VIP list. It's hard to get on, 0:02:03.130 --> 0:02:04.690 like you can sign up to it so you get 0:02:04.690 --> 0:02:09.340 early access to the collection before because it is likely 0:02:09.340 --> 0:02:11.140 we have we have got more this time because we 0:02:11.139 --> 0:02:12.580 want to make sure there's enough for everyone, but it 0:02:12.580 --> 0:02:14.560 is it. Just in case it does sell out, make 0:02:14.590 --> 0:02:17.080 sure you sign up to the VIP list. But it 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:19.390 was crazy. Like it sold out so quickly and you 0:02:19.389 --> 0:02:21.910 guys just loved it. And having being able to work 0:02:21.910 --> 0:02:24.730 with the amazing Don until the Stax founders again on 0:02:24.730 --> 0:02:28.000 another collection and the incredible Stax team has been so 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:30.310 awesome because we have been able to build in all 0:02:30.310 --> 0:02:33.970 of the feedback from the first collection. And we've also 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:37.720 worked with Don and till on new designs that Stax 0:02:37.720 --> 0:02:40.990 have actually never done before either. And there are two tops, 0:02:40.990 --> 0:02:44.890 so we've got a halter neck crop. So it's a 0:02:44.889 --> 0:02:47.680 sports bra. That's a halter neck. Yeah, it is now. 0:02:47.680 --> 0:02:50.290 It's not super light support. Light support. Exactly. Right. Like 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:52.329 it's not not for running but for the gym and stuff. 0:02:52.330 --> 0:02:56.090 It looks so, so hot. It is so good. And 0:02:56.090 --> 0:02:58.010 I was like, oh, I don't know if I wear 0:02:58.010 --> 0:03:00.320 a halter neck sports bra because like when we were 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:01.910 doing the fitting, I was like, oh, this will be 0:03:01.910 --> 0:03:03.800 maybe more like a Steph one, I don't know. I just, 0:03:03.800 --> 0:03:05.870 I was like, I don't know how I'll feel in it. No, 0:03:05.870 --> 0:03:09.560 it looks so good. I walked out and I was like, oh, guys. 0:03:09.590 --> 0:03:13.339 Feeling myself like, I know 100 bucks, a million bucks, 0:03:13.340 --> 0:03:16.070 10 million bucks. What am I saying? But it's just 0:03:16.070 --> 0:03:17.840 the way we work so hard on making sure it 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:20.930 was this. The way the V shape, the perfect amount 0:03:20.930 --> 0:03:26.480 of kind of lowness, the ribbed, um, flexible waistband, the 0:03:26.480 --> 0:03:28.910 amount of kind of. It doesn't. I really don't like 0:03:28.910 --> 0:03:31.610 sports bras that pull a lot like halterneck that pull 0:03:31.610 --> 0:03:34.970 on your, your neck. Exactly. And so we've made sure 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:37.280 like we've just, we've done it's super soft and it 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:39.650 is in the premium seamless fabric. That's what's really exciting. 0:03:39.650 --> 0:03:42.980 So our last collection was in spandex. This one is 0:03:42.980 --> 0:03:47.420 in seamless. The whole collection stacks is famous for their seamless. 0:03:47.420 --> 0:03:50.120 It is such good quality. It's incredible. So we are 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:53.390 just so excited for you to wear it. Yeah. 0:03:53.420 --> 0:03:53.720 And it's. 0:03:53.730 --> 0:03:54.180 Blue. 0:03:54.210 --> 0:03:55.200 It's blue? Yeah. 0:03:55.200 --> 0:03:57.840 And black and cream. And it's. It's just gorgeous and blue. 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:00.750 Just makes me feel joyful. So. No, it's just to 0:04:00.780 --> 0:04:02.640 share this with you. We just hope you love it 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:03.630 as much as we do. 0:04:03.660 --> 0:04:07.020 Yes. And the collection will officially be live on Friday 0:04:07.050 --> 0:04:10.710 the 13th of September. And also as we did last 0:04:10.710 --> 0:04:14.040 time as well to celebrate this Friday. It is this Friday. 0:04:14.310 --> 0:04:16.650 Yes. So this week guys, and the, the early um, 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:19.950 the early access is Thursday evening. So make sure you 0:04:19.980 --> 0:04:22.410 sign up and then you'll get that access for this 0:04:22.410 --> 0:04:23.789 Thursday night and then yeah live. 0:04:23.820 --> 0:04:24.480 For everyone else. 0:04:24.510 --> 0:04:26.760 On Friday. But last time there was hardly anything left 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:28.169 as we said. So just make sure you sign up 0:04:28.170 --> 0:04:28.680 to VIP. 0:04:28.710 --> 0:04:31.529 Exactly. Um, but to celebrate the launch, we are also 0:04:31.529 --> 0:04:33.989 hosting an event in Melbourne. So last time we did 0:04:33.990 --> 0:04:35.970 an event in Sydney decided to do it in our 0:04:35.970 --> 0:04:39.000 home town of Melbourne. This time around, next Saturday, the 0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:41.820 21st of September, we've got a panel chat with the 0:04:41.820 --> 0:04:44.940 two of us and Don and till and an empowering 0:04:44.940 --> 0:04:47.909 workshop which, if you were from Sydney and came to 0:04:47.940 --> 0:04:50.729 the first one we had, we had so many really 0:04:50.730 --> 0:04:53.360 positive reviews from the workshop that we did, and also 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:55.789 for us, it was probably one of the most rewarding 0:04:55.790 --> 0:04:57.409 things we've got to do at an event, so we 0:04:57.410 --> 0:04:59.359 are so looking forward to that and can't wait to 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:02.150 see you all there. But we will pop a link 0:05:02.150 --> 0:05:04.370 in the show notes for early Access, but we'll also 0:05:04.370 --> 0:05:07.310 pop a link in there to secure your spot if 0:05:07.310 --> 0:05:12.620 you would like to come along to that event in Melbourne. Okay, 0:05:12.620 --> 0:05:16.040 so we are chatting about cheating again because a couple 0:05:16.070 --> 0:05:19.250 of episodes ago now, we spoke about whether or not 0:05:19.250 --> 0:05:22.280 cheating was a deal breaker. And laws and I, we 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:25.400 shared our opinion. Um, and then we jumped onto our 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:28.219 Instagram and also in our Facebook group. And quite a 0:05:28.220 --> 0:05:31.339 lot of you disagreed with us, which, you know, all 0:05:31.339 --> 0:05:34.370 open to all opinions. But we thought there's more to 0:05:34.400 --> 0:05:39.380 this and it's worth getting our expert on Megan Luscomb 0:05:39.380 --> 0:05:42.800 to talk through how she might have helped clients through this. 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:44.510 And so. Hello, Megan. 0:05:44.540 --> 0:05:46.160 Hello. Hello my love. 0:05:46.190 --> 0:05:48.440 I got so excited when I saw your comment on 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:51.470 the video, but also very nervous about what your thoughts 0:05:51.470 --> 0:05:53.510 were going to be on our opinion because I was like, 0:05:53.540 --> 0:05:56.960 I hope we did her proud, but I would love 0:05:56.960 --> 0:06:00.650 to know what do you think? Like how how what 0:06:00.650 --> 0:06:02.960 have you worked through with clients when cheating comes up? 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:04.310 Is it a deal breaker? 0:06:05.150 --> 0:06:07.640 Um, look, I will say more often than not, no, 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:12.529 it's not a deal breaker. I, I think, um, both 0:06:12.529 --> 0:06:18.110 of you made really good points regarding the nuance of infidelity. 0:06:18.110 --> 0:06:21.409 And I think what's really important to clarify is that 0:06:21.410 --> 0:06:25.610 cheating is a term has evolved so much over, I 0:06:25.610 --> 0:06:29.060 would say, the past maybe 5 to 10 years when 0:06:29.060 --> 0:06:32.450 I was a teen, cheating was you were having sex 0:06:32.450 --> 0:06:36.560 with somebody else. Whereas now the term has really evolved 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:40.220 into people using cheating for their partner, following someone on 0:06:40.220 --> 0:06:44.299 social media that they don't like having relationships with other 0:06:44.300 --> 0:06:47.990 gender they're attracted to. So I think what's really important 0:06:47.990 --> 0:06:51.150 to remember is when one person uses the term cheating, 0:06:51.150 --> 0:06:54.990 it may not necessarily apply in the same way that 0:06:54.990 --> 0:06:58.620 another person means cheating. And I think it's so important 0:06:58.620 --> 0:07:01.169 that we can all sort of hold space for that, 0:07:01.170 --> 0:07:04.529 because I know with clients that I've worked with, somebody 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:06.089 has booked a session with me and said, oh, my 0:07:06.089 --> 0:07:10.410 partner cheated on me. And based on how I expressed 0:07:10.410 --> 0:07:13.530 the word cheating, my assumption is you're speaking about they've 0:07:13.530 --> 0:07:17.130 had sexual intercourse with somebody who wasn't you. And when 0:07:17.130 --> 0:07:20.040 we started the session, they let me know that their 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:23.070 partner had been talking to somebody else who they weren't 0:07:23.070 --> 0:07:28.560 romantically involved with. So that, to me, is something that 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:31.500 we all really need to start having conversations about is 0:07:31.500 --> 0:07:34.440 when we say cheating, what are we explicitly meaning? 0:07:35.130 --> 0:07:38.910 Oh, absolutely. And Megan, you said as well that as 0:07:38.910 --> 0:07:41.370 you said, it's not it doesn't have to be a 0:07:41.370 --> 0:07:44.820 deal breaker. No. Now, very interestingly, we did a poll 0:07:44.820 --> 0:07:49.730 on our Instagram and only 2% of people voted that 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:53.150 it like agreed with us that it wasn't. It doesn't 0:07:53.150 --> 0:07:56.000 have to be a deal breaker now. 30% said they 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:58.489 were kind of on the fence like it depend on 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:02.480 it depended on the circumstances. And then 63% said it 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:08.420 was a deal breaker. Yeah for sure. In your experience 0:08:08.420 --> 0:08:11.090 within all of all of your clients, obviously there's so 0:08:11.090 --> 0:08:16.610 many different circumstances where cheating can occur. Yeah, absolutely. Are 0:08:16.610 --> 0:08:20.480 there instances where because something that came through in the comments, 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:22.760 it was quite interesting. Like Steph and I spoke a 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:25.250 little bit about an affair. Like for me personally, I 0:08:25.250 --> 0:08:27.530 don't think I could come back from my partner having 0:08:27.530 --> 0:08:30.440 an affair. And then also a few people said if 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:32.330 it was like a kiss and a nightclub, they could 0:08:32.330 --> 0:08:34.189 get through it. But if it was any more than that, 0:08:34.220 --> 0:08:38.780 they couldn't. Yeah. What circumstances have you. Are there any 0:08:38.780 --> 0:08:42.350 kind of specific circumstances that you see where cheating does occur? 0:08:42.350 --> 0:08:44.850 And it does tend to be a pattern and the 0:08:44.850 --> 0:08:47.700 relationship can't come back from that. 0:08:48.390 --> 0:08:51.720 Yeah. Look, I think what's when most people come to 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:55.560 me regarding cheating, it's because they want to repair, they 0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:59.160 want to make the relationship work. And from all the 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.830 people that I've worked with when it comes to infidelity, 0:09:01.830 --> 0:09:04.230 they haven't just woken up one day and decided to 0:09:04.260 --> 0:09:07.590 cheat on their partner. They've been going through something. The 0:09:07.590 --> 0:09:10.770 relationship's been going through something the individuals have been going through, 0:09:10.770 --> 0:09:13.530 something the people I've worked with haven't cheated from a 0:09:13.530 --> 0:09:15.780 place of maliciousness. And I know some people listening to 0:09:15.809 --> 0:09:18.390 this will go well. Cheating is malicious, but I think 0:09:18.390 --> 0:09:22.440 it's really important to remember that humans are humans and 0:09:22.440 --> 0:09:26.850 we're not all perfect, and we make mistakes, and we 0:09:26.850 --> 0:09:30.420 do things that sometimes we don't think we would. And 0:09:30.420 --> 0:09:33.360 it needs to be talked about from a place of situational. 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:35.910 And that's where the nuance comes in. And I think 0:09:36.210 --> 0:09:40.170 when Steph, you were saying that, you know, people can 0:09:40.170 --> 0:09:44.199 be in dark places and like things happen. I think 0:09:44.230 --> 0:09:47.170 that conversation is something we need to be talking about more. 0:09:47.170 --> 0:09:49.929 But also, I think, Laura, when you were saying the 0:09:49.929 --> 0:09:52.809 affair and that you may not be able to come 0:09:52.809 --> 0:09:55.179 back from that, and it's because in the scenarios you're 0:09:55.179 --> 0:09:57.400 talking about, a fear is when we're talking about long 0:09:57.429 --> 0:10:00.490 term and we're generally talking about a relationship. So it's 0:10:00.490 --> 0:10:02.740 not even an affair anymore. You're having a relationship with 0:10:02.740 --> 0:10:07.420 somebody else, and that's for people can be harder to 0:10:07.450 --> 0:10:10.990 come back from because now it's you've changed the dynamic 0:10:10.990 --> 0:10:14.170 of us, and now you've turned to somebody else as 0:10:14.170 --> 0:10:16.030 opposed to me, who is the person who was your 0:10:16.030 --> 0:10:18.940 primary person and so on and so forth. Whereas for 0:10:18.940 --> 0:10:22.000 some people, cheating is a one off experience. I'm not 0:10:22.000 --> 0:10:23.590 saying this is across the board and this is how 0:10:23.590 --> 0:10:25.210 it happens all the time. I'm just using this as 0:10:25.210 --> 0:10:28.480 an example for now. For some people they may go, oh, 0:10:28.510 --> 0:10:32.770 I cheated. Once I gave, I had a cheeky pash 0:10:32.770 --> 0:10:35.349 with somebody in the bar and it'll never happen again. 0:10:35.350 --> 0:10:38.410 Whereas somebody else saying, I've been having an affair for 0:10:38.410 --> 0:10:42.709 3 to 4 years, that can be very different and 0:10:42.710 --> 0:10:45.950 I think every different. There are so many different and 0:10:45.950 --> 0:10:50.360 varied scenarios. And what I do see often is the 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:55.010 people who often have a black and white, um, like, no, 0:10:55.010 --> 0:10:57.920 I could never like kidding is a deal breaker. Um, 0:10:57.920 --> 0:11:00.469 I think sometimes they're speaking from a place of they 0:11:00.470 --> 0:11:05.060 haven't been through the experience, so they're able to go, no, 0:11:05.059 --> 0:11:08.780 it's a deal breaker for me because they're not on the, um, 0:11:08.809 --> 0:11:12.860 the situation of having gone through it. And I think 0:11:12.860 --> 0:11:16.190 people who go through it, um, probably are able to 0:11:16.190 --> 0:11:19.819 speak to more of the nuance of that. It's not 0:11:19.820 --> 0:11:22.609 simply black and white in all cases. 0:11:22.670 --> 0:11:25.550 Yeah, it's so true. And I mean, outside of talking 0:11:25.580 --> 0:11:29.720 to an expert like yourself, if someone is listening and 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:32.750 they've gone through this and maybe they're trying to work 0:11:32.750 --> 0:11:34.850 through if they can stay with their partner or not, 0:11:34.850 --> 0:11:36.650 and kind of make that decision on whether that's going 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:39.390 to come back, what would you say? Obviously, outside of 0:11:39.390 --> 0:11:43.440 being very open with their partner. What what would you 0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:45.570 say to. Yeah. To do or to try and figure 0:11:45.570 --> 0:11:47.579 out if it's going to be if you're going to 0:11:47.580 --> 0:11:50.100 be able to kind of trust them again. And that 0:11:50.100 --> 0:11:51.870 relationship can work long term. 0:11:51.990 --> 0:11:52.590 Yeah. 0:11:52.620 --> 0:11:56.430 It takes a lot of, uh, introspection, but it also 0:11:56.429 --> 0:11:58.440 takes a lot of accountability for the quality of the 0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:02.100 relationship and the quality of the people in the relationship. 0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:04.590 So what I would say is, if you are going 0:12:04.590 --> 0:12:07.140 through it and you're wondering, can we come out the 0:12:07.140 --> 0:12:10.500 other side? It's being able to analyze where the relationship 0:12:10.500 --> 0:12:13.679 was and the quality of it leading up to the 0:12:13.830 --> 0:12:15.450 I'm just going to say the incident. I'm just going 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:18.240 to assume that it's a one off in this circumstance 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:20.880 and working out how you were both showing up in 0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:25.110 the relationship as individuals, but as a couple before the 0:12:25.110 --> 0:12:27.929 incident took place. It also then relies on the person 0:12:27.929 --> 0:12:30.870 who engaged in the cheating to be able to take 0:12:30.870 --> 0:12:33.660 accountability theirself and do the work on themselves in order 0:12:33.660 --> 0:12:35.760 to be able to face whatever they're going through to 0:12:35.790 --> 0:12:38.440 ensure that they can grow and evolve and come out 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:40.929 the other side. Because even though the saying is once 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:46.360 a cheater, always a cheater, that's completely, fundamentally incorrect because 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:49.690 we can't say that humans evolve and humans can change, 0:12:49.690 --> 0:12:51.880 and we can't say that people can change without also 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:55.120 saying that somebody who has cheated can also have the 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:58.360 capacity to no longer do it. What I will say 0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:02.410 there are some people who are not meant to be monogamous. 0:13:02.740 --> 0:13:07.329 Some people are more inclined to be in open relationships 0:13:07.330 --> 0:13:10.420 and to be polyamorous. And I think sometimes it's worth 0:13:10.420 --> 0:13:13.479 having those conversations as well. I think we all put 0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:16.300 a pressure on ourselves to be in a monogamous mindset, 0:13:16.300 --> 0:13:19.390 because we are in a very heavily monogamous society. But 0:13:19.390 --> 0:13:22.720 I think sometimes it's important that people also just peel 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:25.210 the layer back a little bit and ask themselves, is 0:13:25.210 --> 0:13:27.370 this structure what I want? Is this something that aligns 0:13:27.370 --> 0:13:29.559 with me and to sort of have a conversation from 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:31.990 that standpoint, but be kind to yourself and each other 0:13:31.990 --> 0:13:35.809 because it's um, it's a really emotionally loaded Topic. 0:13:35.929 --> 0:13:38.240 That is very I mean, as always, Megan, when is 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:42.050 it ever not good advice from you? That is that 0:13:42.050 --> 0:13:44.750 is very, very good advice. And we actually have a 0:13:44.750 --> 0:13:48.320 question from a listener that has come up that we're 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:50.600 going to ask you now. And it actually it's really 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:53.660 interesting because your definition of I originally read it and 0:13:53.660 --> 0:13:55.969 I was like, that's not I didn't think of cheating 0:13:55.970 --> 0:13:59.600 when I read it, but by your definition of cheating, 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:02.270 I actually think that, I mean, depending on the person 0:14:02.270 --> 0:14:05.900 it could come into for them. Like obviously everyone is different, 0:14:05.900 --> 0:14:08.750 but it could come in the kind of wide, wide range. 0:14:08.750 --> 0:14:12.650 So yeah, our community member has said, I fairly innocently 0:14:12.650 --> 0:14:15.350 look through my partner's photos on his phone to try 0:14:15.350 --> 0:14:18.110 to see if he had any screenshots or saved images 0:14:18.110 --> 0:14:22.220 of engagement rings that I'd been hinting at. Hahahahah! I 0:14:22.220 --> 0:14:26.180 came across some old, very explicit and intimate videos of 0:14:26.180 --> 0:14:28.940 him and his ex from a few years ago. He 0:14:28.940 --> 0:14:33.230 doesn't speak to his ex and this relationship ended badly. 0:14:33.230 --> 0:14:35.880 I've never looked through his phone before as I've never 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:39.660 felt the need to. And trust him wholeheartedly. I feel 0:14:39.690 --> 0:14:42.330 bad for going through his phone, but now I feel 0:14:42.330 --> 0:14:44.190 sick and I don't know how to bring up that. 0:14:44.190 --> 0:14:47.070 I've seen these videos and then the listener is asking, 0:14:47.070 --> 0:14:50.310 how do I tell him to delete them? And I 0:14:50.310 --> 0:14:54.450 would maybe ask you, is that the next step, or 0:14:54.450 --> 0:14:58.890 is there a conversation about it before action is taken? 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:03.480 Oh, wow. Isn't this, uh, isn't this a relatable, uh, 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:07.350 behavior that going through your partner's phone, right? I think 0:15:07.350 --> 0:15:09.480 a lot of people listening to this will probably go, 0:15:09.510 --> 0:15:11.430 I've done this before. I mean, this was definitely me 0:15:11.430 --> 0:15:13.110 when I was like 18 to 21. I mean, I'm 0:15:13.140 --> 0:15:16.320 nearly 40 now, so a long time since I've done it, 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:18.600 but I can relate to the motivations of doing it. 0:15:18.630 --> 0:15:20.640 I think what's really important to remember is we need 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:23.040 to acknowledge that behavior, because going through your partner's phone 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:26.100 without their knowledge, it's not an innocent action. It never. 0:15:26.100 --> 0:15:26.610 Is. 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:29.910 If we're doing something without our partner's consent, that's not 0:15:29.910 --> 0:15:31.740 an innocent action. As much as we can say to 0:15:31.740 --> 0:15:34.510 ourselves that all we had, you know, we had good motives, 0:15:34.540 --> 0:15:37.000 you know. Well, if you were doing it without their knowledge, 0:15:37.030 --> 0:15:40.510 that's actually that's a trust issue in itself. And I 0:15:40.510 --> 0:15:42.340 think we all need to be able to acknowledge that. 0:15:42.340 --> 0:15:45.280 And I know so many people get very frustrated with 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:47.830 me when I say going through your partner's phone is 0:15:47.830 --> 0:15:50.530 a no no, and you should never do that, because 0:15:50.530 --> 0:15:52.450 what I usually hear back is, oh, well, if they've 0:15:52.450 --> 0:15:55.060 got nothing to hide, then they won't care. That's not 0:15:55.060 --> 0:15:58.930 the point. The point is, everybody deserves privacy, and they 0:15:58.930 --> 0:16:01.540 deserve to have things that they that are their own. 0:16:01.540 --> 0:16:04.060 And sure, if your partner lets you go through their 0:16:04.060 --> 0:16:06.190 phone and you both share passwords and things like that, 0:16:06.190 --> 0:16:08.860 that's totally fine. And I'm all for that. If that's 0:16:08.860 --> 0:16:11.350 a consensual agreement within your relationship, but to do it 0:16:11.350 --> 0:16:14.020 without their knowledge, that's a trust break and it's a 0:16:14.020 --> 0:16:16.690 boundary break. And I think it's important that the person 0:16:16.690 --> 0:16:19.120 who sent this through can sort of take that self-accountability 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:21.940 and go. Actually, that wasn't an innocent. 0:16:22.150 --> 0:16:22.840 Motivation. 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:26.200 For me. I was doing something without telling them. But 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:28.660 I think the next step is you've got to decide 0:16:28.660 --> 0:16:29.320 whether you're going to. 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:29.890 Tell. 0:16:30.510 --> 0:16:35.340 Now before anyone's like, oh, you know, Megan's condoning secrets. 0:16:35.340 --> 0:16:39.990 I think it's always important to reflect on whether you're 0:16:39.990 --> 0:16:41.640 going to bring up what you found out, because you 0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:44.790 need to actually start considering the values and the relationship 0:16:44.790 --> 0:16:48.000 values before you make a decision. And what I'm saying 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:51.180 in that is a lot of the time we will 0:16:51.180 --> 0:16:54.119 disclose behaviors and things that we've done, not from a 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:57.480 place because we want to mend and we want to 0:16:57.480 --> 0:16:59.880 grow stronger, and we want the relationship to become better. 0:16:59.880 --> 0:17:03.540 But we disclose from a place of guilt alleviation. We 0:17:03.540 --> 0:17:05.760 feel bad and we want to feel better about what 0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:09.810 we've done, so we disclose that. So it's about being 0:17:09.810 --> 0:17:13.139 able to identify. Am I disclosing because I need to 0:17:13.170 --> 0:17:16.469 relieve my guilt for doing something that I know that 0:17:16.470 --> 0:17:20.340 I shouldn't have done, and because now I actually want 0:17:20.340 --> 0:17:23.669 them to do something with what I found out or 0:17:23.670 --> 0:17:26.790 I made, or am I disclosing because I want to 0:17:26.820 --> 0:17:29.880 integrate this into the relationship as a new standard or 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:33.030 expectation of we shouldn't be going through our phones without 0:17:33.030 --> 0:17:36.750 each other's knowledge. That's a really that's a really poor 0:17:36.780 --> 0:17:38.880 behavior that we don't want. And maybe we now need 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:42.240 to have a bigger conversation about what we are putting 0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:46.470 on our phones, relating to our past. Does that make sense? 0:17:46.470 --> 0:17:48.209 What I just said, no, it does. 0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:50.880 And I think like there's a good there's a good 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:53.520 chance that like, he's forgotten that all of that content's 0:17:53.550 --> 0:17:55.979 even on there. So it's like once she if she 0:17:55.980 --> 0:17:58.020 wants to bring it up, as you said, now she's 0:17:58.020 --> 0:17:59.790 got to decide if it's something that she wants to 0:17:59.790 --> 0:18:03.630 bring up. But, you know, it's you know, once that 0:18:03.630 --> 0:18:07.470 decision has been made, like he could turn around and 0:18:07.470 --> 0:18:09.600 be like, oh my God, I didn't even know that 0:18:09.600 --> 0:18:11.760 they were still on there. Of course I can get 0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:15.030 rid of them. Yeah. Um, but yeah, it's an interesting also, 0:18:15.060 --> 0:18:15.449 I could he. 0:18:15.450 --> 0:18:17.610 Could also turn around and feel very deceived. 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:18.960 Yes. Totally. 0:18:18.990 --> 0:18:20.070 Very true. Yeah. 0:18:20.100 --> 0:18:23.580 I don't have a wrong versus right. Whether you should 0:18:23.580 --> 0:18:26.429 disclose whether you shouldn't I don't I'm not the, you 0:18:26.590 --> 0:18:29.320 judge and jury here. I think everybody has their own autonomy. 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:31.900 But I do think it's important to always be introspective 0:18:31.900 --> 0:18:34.960 and unpack your motivations for why you're going to do 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:37.449 something before you do it 100%. 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:41.350 Now, I don't know if this question is me thinking 0:18:41.350 --> 0:18:44.740 about it in a black and white way, but if 0:18:44.740 --> 0:18:50.290 he was watching the videos hypothetically regularly. 0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:50.889 Yep. 0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:56.020 How would for this person is that a breach of 0:18:56.020 --> 0:18:59.830 trust within a relationship? Obviously it depends on on the people. 0:18:59.859 --> 0:19:02.290 I don't I feel like if my husband was watching 0:19:02.290 --> 0:19:05.620 videos of him having sex with other partners while we 0:19:05.619 --> 0:19:08.890 were together, I would actually find that really uncomfortable. 0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:12.010 Yeah, I think it's okay to feel, and I absolutely 0:19:12.010 --> 0:19:14.080 think it's okay to feel uncomfortable about these things. It's 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:15.190 okay to. 0:19:15.490 --> 0:19:16.180 Go. 0:19:16.210 --> 0:19:19.060 Oh, that feels really icky. I that doesn't feel good 0:19:19.060 --> 0:19:21.730 within me and that feels icky. It's okay to feel 0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:23.770 all of those things, but it's also important that we 0:19:23.770 --> 0:19:26.070 need to acknowledge that our partner had a past, and 0:19:26.070 --> 0:19:28.380 that past involved things that didn't have anything to do 0:19:28.380 --> 0:19:33.780 with us. And if they're watching content on about their past, 0:19:33.780 --> 0:19:37.740 that's that's actually still their prerogative to do it. And 0:19:37.740 --> 0:19:42.510 I get that that feels icky. But my, my whole, 0:19:42.540 --> 0:19:45.000 you know, empowerment for people is we need to respect 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:48.270 autonomy and we need to respect that our partners are 0:19:48.270 --> 0:19:52.800 people that exist without us and without our influence. And 0:19:52.800 --> 0:19:55.680 they have past that don't involve us. And they're entitled 0:19:55.710 --> 0:19:59.370 to have those moments of their past in ways that 0:19:59.369 --> 0:20:03.060 serve them. And I know that feels really uncomfortable, and 0:20:03.060 --> 0:20:06.179 I know it feels really conflicting, but that's what a 0:20:06.180 --> 0:20:10.830 relationship really needs in order to have trust and to 0:20:10.859 --> 0:20:13.830 have a connection of togetherness. It's being able to have 0:20:13.830 --> 0:20:18.959 this respect and to and to know that our partner is. 0:20:19.590 --> 0:20:19.889 Still. 0:20:19.890 --> 0:20:22.020 Showing up in the relationship and obviously committed to us, 0:20:22.020 --> 0:20:24.960 but they also are able to have thoughts and things 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:27.780 about their past that still have nothing to do with us. 0:20:27.780 --> 0:20:29.580 And I get it. That feels icky. And I know 0:20:29.580 --> 0:20:31.020 a lot of people are probably going to listen to 0:20:31.020 --> 0:20:34.770 this and be like, stop that. I get it. It 0:20:34.770 --> 0:20:37.230 feels confronting and it feels really conflicting, but it doesn't 0:20:37.230 --> 0:20:39.419 mean that it's not something we need to start, you know, 0:20:39.450 --> 0:20:41.490 considering and thinking about seriously. 0:20:41.609 --> 0:20:42.479 I love it. 0:20:42.510 --> 0:20:46.530 I just every time, every time we call you that. 0:20:46.530 --> 0:20:50.520 Is very, very good advice. And I think to our listener, 0:20:50.520 --> 0:20:53.939 I hope that helps. And yeah, so it's just now 0:20:53.940 --> 0:20:56.700 to think about if you want to have the conversation 0:20:56.700 --> 0:20:59.760 or not. Megan, one last thing. Just on this, I 0:20:59.760 --> 0:21:04.020 apologize for going back into it. But if for this listener, 0:21:04.020 --> 0:21:05.970 they because I think if it was me, I think 0:21:05.970 --> 0:21:08.070 where I'd really struggle is if I, if I did 0:21:08.100 --> 0:21:10.020 find it and I was worried like, oh, is he 0:21:10.050 --> 0:21:13.920 watching this? I don't know all of those thoughts. It's 0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:18.149 this battle with living with this knowledge that you now have, 0:21:18.180 --> 0:21:22.990 but also obviously Navigating. Well, I have been. I've deceived 0:21:22.990 --> 0:21:25.900 my partner because I have gone on their phone without 0:21:25.900 --> 0:21:28.360 asking them, and they didn't know that. And that's a 0:21:28.359 --> 0:21:30.760 that's a breach of trust in itself. 0:21:30.790 --> 0:21:31.359 Yeah. 0:21:31.780 --> 0:21:34.540 If for this listener, they kind of they decide that 0:21:34.540 --> 0:21:36.459 you know what. No, I shouldn't have gone on the 0:21:36.460 --> 0:21:39.310 phone without, you know, asking. But then it gets to 0:21:39.340 --> 0:21:41.560 a month and this is like just eating them inside. 0:21:41.560 --> 0:21:43.690 And they think about it every time they see their partner. 0:21:43.690 --> 0:21:45.340 Is that at a point where you would. Because I 0:21:45.340 --> 0:21:46.959 think that would be really hard if you you want 0:21:46.990 --> 0:21:48.970 to have trust in your relationship. But I think the 0:21:48.970 --> 0:21:50.860 hardest thing and this is why maybe we don't we 0:21:50.859 --> 0:21:53.230 shouldn't go through people's phones is that once, you know, 0:21:53.500 --> 0:21:58.869 have new information, it's fucking so hard to unsee it. 0:21:58.869 --> 0:22:01.960 And it, like, takes over your whole body. Yeah. 0:22:01.990 --> 0:22:04.780 Yeah, that's exactly right. And I think, I think there 0:22:04.780 --> 0:22:06.880 are probably two ways that I would say for this 0:22:06.880 --> 0:22:08.919 listener to really start thinking about it. If they want 0:22:08.950 --> 0:22:11.560 to disclose. Go for it. But it's always important to 0:22:11.590 --> 0:22:13.810 fall on your sword. When we fall on our sword, 0:22:13.810 --> 0:22:16.209 we take accountability for our own actions, and then we 0:22:16.210 --> 0:22:19.800 do the olive branch of how can we rebuild and repair? Okay, 0:22:19.830 --> 0:22:21.810 so that's the. I shouldn't have gone through your phone. 0:22:21.810 --> 0:22:25.889 I'm sorry. However, what I found is been really confronting for. 0:22:25.890 --> 0:22:26.490 Me. 0:22:27.030 --> 0:22:30.600 And ABC. Now, we can't explicitly ask our partner to 0:22:30.630 --> 0:22:32.520 remove things from their phones. They have nothing to do 0:22:32.520 --> 0:22:35.159 with us because it's their phone and it's their private information. 0:22:35.160 --> 0:22:38.580 But what you can potentially do is ask for a compromise. 0:22:38.820 --> 0:22:42.240 You may say something along the lines of it comes 0:22:42.240 --> 0:22:45.540 to content that involves your past relationships. Is there an 0:22:45.540 --> 0:22:47.400 opportunity or a possibility for you to put that on 0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:48.240 a hard drive. 0:22:48.270 --> 0:22:48.930 That. 0:22:48.930 --> 0:22:53.280 Is existing somewhere in the house that you that that 0:22:53.280 --> 0:22:55.949 you don't have on your phone? You may throw in 0:22:55.950 --> 0:22:58.889 a compromise. And again, your partner can say no to 0:22:58.920 --> 0:23:03.030 that because it's their phone and it's their content. But 0:23:03.030 --> 0:23:05.850 I think what's really important to remember is if you're 0:23:05.850 --> 0:23:08.310 holding on to this after a month, say, this listener 0:23:08.340 --> 0:23:10.530 decided not to say anything, and 3 or 4 months 0:23:10.530 --> 0:23:12.869 down the track, they're still thinking about it. Of course, 0:23:12.869 --> 0:23:14.520 you can still bring it up. It's something that you 0:23:14.520 --> 0:23:16.530 did a few months ago. You know, if that's what 0:23:16.530 --> 0:23:19.149 you want to do. but it's always leading in with 0:23:19.150 --> 0:23:22.900 Self-accountability and then coming up with a plan for repair 0:23:22.900 --> 0:23:27.070 and reconnect. And I think that's the most important thing 0:23:27.100 --> 0:23:31.000 to be able to do is that self-accountability and repair 0:23:31.000 --> 0:23:34.690 and and reconnect. And it's completely up to what this 0:23:34.690 --> 0:23:37.060 listener wants to do. There's no right or wrong. It's 0:23:37.060 --> 0:23:38.350 just what they want to do. 0:23:39.280 --> 0:23:42.129 And I think that's that's been the biggest message from today. 0:23:42.130 --> 0:23:44.050 And I think that's what I love so much about 0:23:44.050 --> 0:23:46.000 your advice is that there's no right or wrong. So 0:23:46.030 --> 0:23:49.900 even if this conversation happens and it doesn't go down 0:23:49.900 --> 0:23:52.480 the way you know, they want it to, it's then 0:23:52.480 --> 0:23:55.360 up to them if they feel comfortable or not staying 0:23:55.359 --> 0:23:55.990 in the relationship. 0:23:56.020 --> 0:23:56.740 Absolutely. 0:23:57.280 --> 0:23:59.230 Absolutely 100%. 0:23:59.260 --> 0:24:02.830 Thank you. Megan, you are a queen. We appreciate you 0:24:02.830 --> 0:24:05.320 so much and your wisdom wise. 0:24:05.350 --> 0:24:06.160 I love our chats. 0:24:06.190 --> 0:24:07.389 Thank you so much, ladies. 0:24:07.420 --> 0:24:07.990 Bye. 0:24:11.020 --> 0:24:12.220 One. Two. Three. Four. 0:24:12.820 --> 0:24:18.530 Okay, guys. Hi. Hi. Hi. I, I need to talk 0:24:18.530 --> 0:24:21.740 to you about something. I feel like this year there 0:24:21.740 --> 0:24:24.889 was there was a point in the podcast where every 0:24:24.890 --> 0:24:27.680 week I had a story about my two dogs, Bill 0:24:27.680 --> 0:24:31.699 and Ben, pooing in the house. And some people loved it. 0:24:31.700 --> 0:24:34.790 Some people did not love it so much. Yeah, it. 0:24:34.790 --> 0:24:36.800 Does need a disclaimer this segment. 0:24:37.010 --> 0:24:39.560 If you don't like talking about poo, do not listen 0:24:39.560 --> 0:24:40.430 to this segment. 0:24:40.430 --> 0:24:43.010 And probably I'm gonna say there's probably going to be 0:24:43.010 --> 0:24:45.920 a little swear word thrown in there and maybe here 0:24:45.920 --> 0:24:46.490 and there. 0:24:46.850 --> 0:24:51.320 So what happened in my house a couple of weeks 0:24:51.320 --> 0:24:53.629 ago was fucked again. 0:24:53.630 --> 0:24:54.439 And F-word two. 0:24:54.470 --> 0:24:57.320 There you go. Oh, you said s word. Shit. Okay. 0:24:57.350 --> 0:25:00.350 It was actually like. I'm so sorry. I'm okay. 0:25:00.350 --> 0:25:01.580 So you can say it was fucked. 0:25:01.609 --> 0:25:05.389 I am working from home. I'm so. I'm at home 0:25:05.390 --> 0:25:09.320 for this day. And what had happened was the day before, 0:25:09.350 --> 0:25:12.649 poor little Benny had had. My dog had had a 0:25:12.650 --> 0:25:16.320 very sore tummy. And every time he ate he was vomiting. 0:25:16.320 --> 0:25:19.260 So he had vomited in his all good. Now though, 0:25:19.500 --> 0:25:22.320 in case anyone's worried like I was. But he's all 0:25:22.320 --> 0:25:25.379 good now, and he's vomited in his bed and Bill's bed, 0:25:25.380 --> 0:25:27.840 and we have these beds that you can wash. You 0:25:27.840 --> 0:25:30.450 can take them apart and wash, and it honestly takes 0:25:30.450 --> 0:25:32.580 probably five minutes to put them back to bed together. 0:25:32.580 --> 0:25:35.040 But it is the bane of my existence. I it 0:25:35.040 --> 0:25:37.380 is my least favourite job. I hate it more than 0:25:37.440 --> 0:25:40.350 making our bed. Yeah, and I really don't like putting 0:25:40.350 --> 0:25:42.570 sheets on the bed, so it's just very. I feel the. 0:25:42.570 --> 0:25:44.040 Same way about couch cushion. 0:25:44.040 --> 0:25:46.560 Covers. Yes, it's similar, similar experience. Right. Anyway. But I 0:25:46.560 --> 0:25:49.109 was like, look, we'll leave the it's a bit gross, 0:25:49.109 --> 0:25:50.430 but I was like, we'll leave the beds for another 0:25:50.430 --> 0:25:53.220 night because if he vomits again, I'm not doing that twice. Okay, 0:25:53.220 --> 0:25:57.209 so we've got beds, dog beds with vomit. Then we 0:25:57.240 --> 0:25:59.790 wake up in the morning and Ben has then vomited 0:25:59.790 --> 0:26:02.700 the poor thing all over the rug. Now, because this 0:26:02.700 --> 0:26:04.620 is a common occurrence in our household, it hasn't happened 0:26:04.619 --> 0:26:06.450 for a while. We have a washable rug. We have 0:26:06.480 --> 0:26:08.640 a washable rug that can go in the in a 0:26:08.640 --> 0:26:12.220 commercial washing machine. So at the laundromat, which has everyone 0:26:12.220 --> 0:26:14.320 that's been on my dry saga story. You know, I 0:26:14.320 --> 0:26:17.800 spend a lot of time at the laundromat. I'm well 0:26:17.830 --> 0:26:22.540 accustomed to that. Anyway, so the house smells like vomit. Okay, 0:26:22.540 --> 0:26:24.070 it is what it is. I had to go to 0:26:24.100 --> 0:26:26.980 a physio appointment, go to my physio appointment. I come 0:26:26.980 --> 0:26:30.970 back and I'm like, I walk into our house and 0:26:30.970 --> 0:26:33.940 I was like, oh my God, I can smell vomit, 0:26:33.940 --> 0:26:37.300 but I can also smell sewerage. And I was like, 0:26:37.300 --> 0:26:41.230 oh my God. And I'm walking. And as I'm getting 0:26:41.230 --> 0:26:44.710 closer to our bathroom, I'm like, our bedroom, mind you, 0:26:44.710 --> 0:26:46.600 and our ensuite, that doesn't have a door. It's all 0:26:46.600 --> 0:26:50.859 open space. Yeah, it's getting worse and worse. And I 0:26:50.859 --> 0:26:53.889 was like, what has Dawson done in this house? Like what? 0:26:53.920 --> 0:26:56.169 He went straight to blaming Dalton. I'm like, What is 0:26:56.170 --> 0:27:00.250 Dalton done? Walk into our bathroom now. Our shower in 0:27:00.250 --> 0:27:02.680 our rental is it's a little bit random. It's like 0:27:02.680 --> 0:27:04.899 it's almost got a bath built into it. But it's 0:27:04.900 --> 0:27:06.550 not one of those bath showers. 0:27:06.580 --> 0:27:09.040 It's a square shower with a step down. 0:27:09.040 --> 0:27:10.220 Step down? Exactly. 0:27:10.250 --> 0:27:13.400 Yeah, but it's not. It's probably like. What would you say? 0:27:13.820 --> 0:27:16.910 I don't know how many centimeters, but it's not super, 0:27:16.910 --> 0:27:17.390 super deep. 0:27:17.420 --> 0:27:19.250 No it's not. It's probably about 30. 0:27:19.280 --> 0:27:20.600 Great for washing the dogs. 0:27:20.630 --> 0:27:26.480 Yeah, yeah. True, true. Anyway, so I walk into our 0:27:26.480 --> 0:27:29.660 bathroom and I was like, what the actual. Sorry to swear, 0:27:29.660 --> 0:27:36.020 but fuck. We had sewage in our shower. Sewage pool, 0:27:36.050 --> 0:27:38.659 water in our shower. And I was like, oh my God. 0:27:38.690 --> 0:27:41.690 So the sewage through the pipes has come up through 0:27:41.690 --> 0:27:44.120 all not all of the most of the drains in 0:27:44.119 --> 0:27:48.320 our house. And so the, the basins and including our 0:27:48.320 --> 0:27:55.940 shower had floating poo. I honestly died, I was like, 0:27:55.940 --> 0:27:59.270 oh my God, how am I ever going to stand? 0:27:59.270 --> 0:28:04.340 It's like absorbing into the walls of the shower. There's floaties. 0:28:04.340 --> 0:28:10.560 It is not good. And then I'm like, oh my God, Dalton, 0:28:10.770 --> 0:28:13.590 what are we going to do? Because the plumbing is not. Again, 0:28:13.590 --> 0:28:16.770 I really like to be empowered except to not plumbing. 0:28:16.770 --> 0:28:20.610 It's not my domain. I then walk out and then 0:28:20.609 --> 0:28:25.260 I'm like, where's Bill and Ben gone? I walk around 0:28:25.619 --> 0:28:29.609 outside and mind you, Ben with a sore tummy, who's 0:28:29.609 --> 0:28:32.399 just come back from the vet having an injection to 0:28:32.430 --> 0:28:36.119 not vomit anymore, and he's on a strict diet of, uh, 0:28:36.119 --> 0:28:40.710 rice and chicken boiled with nothing on it. And, Bill, 0:28:40.710 --> 0:28:44.100 they're both. So the drain also is outside. It is 0:28:44.100 --> 0:28:47.940 overflowing outside. It's made a big puddle of stuff. Bill 0:28:47.940 --> 0:28:51.720 and Ben are there drinking it, and and they then 0:28:51.720 --> 0:28:55.980 smell like sewage as well. And our house, I can't 0:28:56.010 --> 0:28:58.350 it was vomit. It was sewage. It was. Oh, my God, 0:28:58.350 --> 0:29:00.900 I can't even explain to you. And it was quite, 0:29:00.900 --> 0:29:04.080 it was quite. It was, it was a lot. So 0:29:04.110 --> 0:29:05.760 tell me it was a lot. Because I know you. 0:29:05.760 --> 0:29:09.730 Guys got, like an emergency plumber in straight away. But you. 0:29:09.730 --> 0:29:11.920 I know this because you've just moved in. You're renting 0:29:11.920 --> 0:29:15.220 and your spare bedroom isn't set up. Yes. So you 0:29:15.250 --> 0:29:17.800 slept in your. We did. What was that night like? 0:29:17.830 --> 0:29:21.070 Oh, yes. So we it went down because the emergency plumber. 0:29:21.070 --> 0:29:24.310 But the thing is unfortunately there's some in the all. 0:29:24.310 --> 0:29:27.880 It's the same in our old house. The pipes were 0:29:27.880 --> 0:29:31.840 made of terracotta so tree roots can get into them. Yes. 0:29:31.870 --> 0:29:33.760 Isn't it crazy? They used to make people used to 0:29:33.790 --> 0:29:36.670 make pipes out of terracotta. I'm no plumber, but that 0:29:36.670 --> 0:29:39.790 seems quite out there. Well, you know, I don't think 0:29:39.790 --> 0:29:41.980 they do it anymore. Wasn't, as you know. Yeah. I 0:29:41.980 --> 0:29:45.940 don't think they do it anymore anyway. But yes, it was. 0:29:45.940 --> 0:29:49.540 I sprayed so much stuff. I scrubbed the shower I 0:29:49.570 --> 0:29:52.000 it was, it was, it was, it was a lot. 0:29:52.030 --> 0:29:55.240 It was a lot. And it just it just got 0:29:55.240 --> 0:29:58.270 me thinking like plumbing is just like hats off to. 0:29:58.300 --> 0:30:00.700 All the plumbers out there. Seriously, how they do it? Slay. 0:30:00.730 --> 0:30:02.080 I really don't know how they do. 0:30:02.080 --> 0:30:04.610 It, but it's also one of the like I've never 0:30:04.610 --> 0:30:07.790 had poo in the shower before. So it was. Yeah, I'm. 0:30:07.790 --> 0:30:09.080 Sure many people haven't. 0:30:09.110 --> 0:30:11.450 But I did what? We washed the dog beds and 0:30:11.450 --> 0:30:13.130 we washed the rug, and now we have like a 0:30:13.130 --> 0:30:16.490 rug that looks brand new. So that's a positive, very positive. 0:30:16.520 --> 0:30:22.370 But it was genuinely a shit show. I love Plumbing 0:30:22.370 --> 0:30:23.540 disaster of all time. 0:30:23.540 --> 0:30:26.930 No, that is definitely. That is definitely a big plumbing disaster. 0:30:26.960 --> 0:30:30.140 It makes me think though, like there's I have no 0:30:30.140 --> 0:30:34.040 doubt in my mind that our community will absolutely have 0:30:34.040 --> 0:30:36.800 some stories, but I would like to share one. I 0:30:36.800 --> 0:30:39.440 think when you told me about this, it made me 0:30:39.440 --> 0:30:43.190 think about any plumbing disasters that I've been a part of. 0:30:43.190 --> 0:30:46.490 And one time up the farm, which is my husband 0:30:46.490 --> 0:30:51.380 Josh's family holiday house, his dad came in and said 0:30:51.380 --> 0:30:54.800 to all of us, look, I'm going to be under 0:30:54.800 --> 0:30:57.800 the house with the pipes. No one used the bathroom 0:30:57.800 --> 0:31:00.500 for like the next little while we were watching a movie. 0:31:00.500 --> 0:31:03.000 So I think I was a bit like just nodding along, 0:31:03.000 --> 0:31:06.510 but like, didn't really clock what he'd said. It was 0:31:06.510 --> 0:31:07.920 some time afterwards. 0:31:08.340 --> 0:31:09.510 But how much. 0:31:09.510 --> 0:31:12.150 Time? I don't remember, but it wasn't straight away. 0:31:13.170 --> 0:31:13.770 At least it was. 0:31:13.770 --> 0:31:15.540 Long enough that he was under the house for a 0:31:15.540 --> 0:31:18.420 while and I went to the toilet. 0:31:18.450 --> 0:31:20.700 Wait, he's not a plumber either. He's not? No. 0:31:20.730 --> 0:31:22.950 So he knows his things. Okay. You know, he's a 0:31:22.950 --> 0:31:27.120 handy dude. So he was under there and I went 0:31:27.120 --> 0:31:31.230 to the toilet, forgetting he was under the house and, um, 0:31:31.260 --> 0:31:32.640 went number twos. 0:31:32.670 --> 0:31:33.570 You did a poo. 0:31:33.600 --> 0:31:37.830 I did a poo, and the pipes were open, and 0:31:37.830 --> 0:31:42.570 he came inside and was like, who did the toilet? 0:31:42.660 --> 0:31:46.740 And I wasn't alone. Like there was, I think like Ethan. Josh, like, 0:31:46.770 --> 0:31:48.990 there was quite a few of us there. And I 0:31:48.990 --> 0:31:52.770 was like, just instantly I realized what I had done. No. Yes, 0:31:52.800 --> 0:31:54.330 of course I did. Well, everyone also knew that I 0:31:54.330 --> 0:31:55.800 went to the toilet. But did you announce it? No 0:31:55.800 --> 0:31:58.470 one decided. Well, I'd left the room and come back. Well, you. 0:31:58.470 --> 0:31:59.850 Didn't, you didn't. But no one. 0:31:59.850 --> 0:32:02.080 Else had gone to the toilet because they were all 0:32:02.110 --> 0:32:02.560 they all. 0:32:02.740 --> 0:32:05.170 Remembered. I would have said no. I went to the 0:32:05.170 --> 0:32:08.230 bedroom to, um, brush my hair. It felt naughty. 0:32:08.830 --> 0:32:14.770 What had happened was basically my shit had flown with 0:32:14.770 --> 0:32:21.160 water out of the pipe and apparently just missed his head. 0:32:21.160 --> 0:32:27.040 Like just missed his head. And I just, I think back. 0:32:27.040 --> 0:32:28.120 Now, and I think it's. 0:32:28.120 --> 0:32:29.530 The funniest thing ever. 0:32:29.860 --> 0:32:30.220 Because I. 0:32:30.220 --> 0:32:31.810 Almost shat on my father in law's. 0:32:31.810 --> 0:32:35.290 Head. You nearly pooed in your father in law's mouth. 0:32:36.340 --> 0:32:39.220 Why did you have to go there? Is that a fetish? 0:32:39.310 --> 0:32:40.120 In some places? 0:32:40.120 --> 0:32:43.630 Disgusting. But anyway. So. Yeah, it was, um. That's that's 0:32:43.630 --> 0:32:44.050 my story. 0:32:44.080 --> 0:32:48.280 So your father in law, Ken? Yes, as I call him. Yes. 0:32:48.310 --> 0:32:52.450 Came in and said, who pooed then? Did he say who? 0:32:52.450 --> 0:32:54.640 Poo went in my. Did he say who's the toilet? 0:32:54.640 --> 0:32:56.979 And then you confess or did he say, hey, a 0:32:57.010 --> 0:33:00.230 poo just flew Blew into my face. Whose was it? 0:33:00.230 --> 0:33:00.680 I think it. 0:33:00.680 --> 0:33:04.760 Was more like who? Just use the toilet. And then 0:33:04.760 --> 0:33:07.100 I was like, oh, and everyone looked at me because 0:33:07.100 --> 0:33:08.570 I was the only one who had left the room. 0:33:08.570 --> 0:33:10.550 Why are you so truthful, Laura? 0:33:10.580 --> 0:33:13.670 I was the only one who left the room. 0:33:13.670 --> 0:33:15.590 I would deny for the rest of my life. 0:33:15.620 --> 0:33:18.950 No, no, no, I literally couldn't, I couldn't, I literally 0:33:18.950 --> 0:33:21.410 could not. Like, how could you? So if we were 0:33:21.410 --> 0:33:24.320 sitting in a room, you, me, Dalton, Josh and your 0:33:24.350 --> 0:33:26.990 two sisters sitting in the lounge room, you were the 0:33:26.990 --> 0:33:30.290 only one who left the room. Two seconds later, after 0:33:30.290 --> 0:33:32.780 you've come back to the room, your mum comes in 0:33:32.780 --> 0:33:36.560 and says, who used the bathroom? We would all, of course, 0:33:36.590 --> 0:33:38.360 look straight at you because we'd be like, well, we've 0:33:38.360 --> 0:33:41.060 been here. How are you going to get out of that? 0:33:41.090 --> 0:33:42.470 I've got the best, I've got the best thing. That's 0:33:42.470 --> 0:33:44.180 what I do. And also, guys, I'm not a liar. 0:33:44.180 --> 0:33:46.520 But I think you might be. I wouldn't want to 0:33:46.520 --> 0:33:49.190 admit that I pooed on my father in law's head 0:33:49.190 --> 0:33:49.850 like me. 0:33:49.880 --> 0:33:52.580 It was me. I was like, oh, fuck. 0:33:52.610 --> 0:33:57.510 What a privilege. No. Okay, so what I would say 0:33:57.870 --> 0:33:59.760 this is how to get out of this situation. And guys, 0:33:59.760 --> 0:34:01.440 I just want to say I don't want to again, 0:34:01.440 --> 0:34:03.720 I'm not a liar, but I just would not want 0:34:03.720 --> 0:34:07.080 my father in law in this situation. I'm not admitting 0:34:07.080 --> 0:34:09.149 it was me, okay? That is, I am a liar 0:34:09.150 --> 0:34:10.590 in this situation. Literally. 0:34:10.590 --> 0:34:11.310 No way. 0:34:11.340 --> 0:34:13.950 Let me tell you. I realized I had to check 0:34:13.950 --> 0:34:16.230 my phone. It was in the room or something like that. 0:34:16.260 --> 0:34:17.880 Make a reason to go to the room? I needed 0:34:17.880 --> 0:34:19.770 to get something from the room. When I walked in there, 0:34:19.770 --> 0:34:23.370 I realized that Dalton left a huge pool in the toilet. 0:34:23.370 --> 0:34:25.500 Oh my God. And I was so disgusted that I 0:34:25.530 --> 0:34:28.890 flushed it. I'm so sorry, Ken. I forgot that you. 0:34:28.920 --> 0:34:32.549 Of course you would blame Dalton. Of course you would 0:34:32.580 --> 0:34:33.630 blame Dalton. 0:34:33.900 --> 0:34:37.110 At least my father in law would not think that 0:34:37.110 --> 0:34:39.359 my poo nearly hit him. He would think it was 0:34:39.360 --> 0:34:43.290 his son's, which is much better for everyone. The end. Linz, 0:34:43.290 --> 0:34:44.250 what do you think of that? 0:34:44.280 --> 0:34:46.560 Oh my God, I'm dying. Am I evil? 0:34:48.960 --> 0:34:51.210 Am I evil or is that what? Can you guys 0:34:51.210 --> 0:34:53.460 let me know? Because there is a time where a 0:34:53.489 --> 0:34:56.739 little white lie to let to just think that. So 0:34:56.739 --> 0:35:00.460 your father in law thinks that his own, uh, child's 0:35:00.489 --> 0:35:03.250 poo has been near his face instead of someone he's 0:35:03.250 --> 0:35:04.299 not related to. 0:35:04.330 --> 0:35:08.290 Can I just say any shit near your face is shit, right? 0:35:08.320 --> 0:35:10.960 No, but you want. He would have once cleaned Josh's nappies. 0:35:10.989 --> 0:35:14.770 That's very different to an adult human. Poo in some ways. 0:35:14.770 --> 0:35:17.859 Probably would prefer my poo than Josh's, I would say. 0:35:17.890 --> 0:35:21.910 But it's like it's. It's not that. It's like. Also, 0:35:21.940 --> 0:35:23.770 I'm pretty close with my father in law, but he 0:35:23.770 --> 0:35:26.170 also was laughing, like it wasn't like a. 0:35:26.320 --> 0:35:29.350 Still, did I? I would still deny it. I can't 0:35:29.350 --> 0:35:31.150 believe that. What would you do? 0:35:31.180 --> 0:35:34.510 I think that I would have to own up to it. 0:35:34.540 --> 0:35:35.920 I don't think that I could. I'm not a very 0:35:35.920 --> 0:35:37.779 good liar. I don't think I could get away with it. 0:35:39.070 --> 0:35:41.800 Me neither. I'd also be laughing the whole time. 0:35:41.830 --> 0:35:42.850 I just can't. 0:35:42.880 --> 0:35:44.950 I can't. Guys, we're going to put a poll on 0:35:44.950 --> 0:35:48.580 the stories. Because this lie is I. Lying is very 0:35:48.580 --> 0:35:51.010 bad in terms of, like where it harms the relationship, 0:35:51.010 --> 0:35:52.690 where it's. You don't need to validate that. 0:35:52.719 --> 0:35:53.020 Honey, do you. 0:35:53.020 --> 0:35:54.680 Know what I mean? Like, this is a white lie 0:35:54.710 --> 0:35:57.290 that just. I just don't need my father in law. 0:35:57.320 --> 0:36:00.379 You would throw Dalton under the bus over so many things, though. 0:36:00.380 --> 0:36:04.160 That tells me. Yeah, of course, of course. 0:36:04.250 --> 0:36:04.700 Thinks he. 0:36:04.700 --> 0:36:05.270 Hasn't done. 0:36:05.300 --> 0:36:08.930 You guys tell me, what would you do? Am I 0:36:08.960 --> 0:36:12.080 evil or am I just smart? 0:36:13.070 --> 0:36:15.770 Look, I wasn't smart in this situation. I literally did 0:36:15.770 --> 0:36:16.880 the opposite of what I was told. 0:36:17.000 --> 0:36:18.560 That's not the right word. And, you know, all I 0:36:18.560 --> 0:36:20.870 can think of right now is talking to myself from 0:36:20.900 --> 0:36:22.790 mean Girls. Say, say it to me. Say it to me. 0:36:22.790 --> 0:36:27.320 I made you say it yesterday. What? You dirty. Go, go, you. 0:36:27.350 --> 0:36:28.790 Dirty little liar! 0:36:29.239 --> 0:36:31.400 You didn't say that to me yesterday. What did I say? 0:36:31.430 --> 0:36:36.890 You said little bitch. And I was like, what the actual. 0:36:36.890 --> 0:36:40.160 Fuck? We've had the longest day ever. And you do 0:36:40.160 --> 0:36:42.530 it to me, you little bitch. 0:36:44.000 --> 0:36:45.710 Because you had to get changed. 0:36:45.710 --> 0:36:49.250 One more time than I did. Do you know why, guys? 0:36:49.280 --> 0:36:51.770 I'm dying because it was the end of the photo shoot. 0:36:51.940 --> 0:36:57.850 We had been. We had been. We had been shooting since. Okay. 0:36:57.850 --> 0:37:01.750 So we started shooting yesterday at 4:30 a.m. or started 0:37:01.750 --> 0:37:04.870 hair and makeup at 4:30 a.m.. This is 6 p.m. 0:37:05.020 --> 0:37:08.230 now I don't modelling for me is I've got I 0:37:08.260 --> 0:37:11.560 like it's our own collection. It's obviously so exciting. But 0:37:11.560 --> 0:37:15.339 we had changed 45 times. That's an exaggeration. Probably 15. 0:37:15.340 --> 0:37:17.589 But I was like and in my head I knew 0:37:17.620 --> 0:37:19.630 we were on our last change. We just had to put. 0:37:19.660 --> 0:37:22.120 We were putting the jumper on top for the last 0:37:22.270 --> 0:37:25.180 shot and our shorts were going to stay, because changing 0:37:25.180 --> 0:37:27.100 your top, fine. It's changing. You take the shoes off, 0:37:27.130 --> 0:37:29.170 you put the shoes back on. That's where for me, 0:37:29.170 --> 0:37:30.910 I was like in my head I was like, Laura, 0:37:30.910 --> 0:37:34.780 well done. You have changed 15,000 times. You are done. 0:37:34.810 --> 0:37:36.609 This is the last thing you just put a jumper on. 0:37:36.610 --> 0:37:39.940 And then the combo, because the jumper is the blue 0:37:39.940 --> 0:37:42.580 and the cream I don't like black and blue together 0:37:42.580 --> 0:37:44.200 is not the vibe. So we were like, we need 0:37:44.230 --> 0:37:44.799 blue and cream. 0:37:44.890 --> 0:37:45.310 Yeah, yeah. 0:37:45.340 --> 0:37:47.440 But I was putting the cream jumper on and I 0:37:47.440 --> 0:37:50.240 had cream shorts on. Yeah. And there's only one blue jumper, 0:37:50.239 --> 0:37:53.299 so Steffi kept her cream shorts on. But it wasn't 0:37:53.300 --> 0:37:54.739 your choice. Stop it! What? 0:37:54.770 --> 0:37:56.990 Stop it! You're still trying to make me look like 0:37:56.989 --> 0:37:59.510 a little bitch. You were in the shots just before 0:37:59.510 --> 0:38:02.240 I was in the cream shorts and the blue jumper. 0:38:02.239 --> 0:38:04.460 And you were in the blue shorts and the cream 0:38:04.460 --> 0:38:07.610 jumper when I went to change. Maddy said, we need 0:38:07.610 --> 0:38:10.100 you in the same outfits as the last shot. So 0:38:10.100 --> 0:38:11.810 you put the jumper on, and I'm going to put 0:38:11.840 --> 0:38:13.879 Laura back in the blue shorts. So I went into 0:38:13.880 --> 0:38:14.450 the change rooms. 0:38:14.750 --> 0:38:15.410 Got changed. 0:38:15.830 --> 0:38:18.319 As soon as Maddy passed you those shorts, you looked 0:38:18.320 --> 0:38:20.930 at me and you said, you little bitch. Dirty. 0:38:20.960 --> 0:38:21.500 I said. 0:38:21.530 --> 0:38:23.120 You didn't. You said, you little bitch. 0:38:23.210 --> 0:38:25.489 But what I was trying to in my head also 0:38:25.489 --> 0:38:27.500 for everyone's like, oh my God, Laura, you little savage. 0:38:27.530 --> 0:38:30.799 She was so savage. But when I was also trying, 0:38:31.070 --> 0:38:34.070 I was thinking of the mango scene in my head, 0:38:34.070 --> 0:38:36.739 and I totally jumbled the words to the point that 0:38:36.739 --> 0:38:38.600 it just sounded like I called you a little bitch. 0:38:38.630 --> 0:38:41.180 And I really was trying to say you're dirty little 0:38:41.210 --> 0:38:44.810 because I was going crazy at this point of the day. Anyway, 0:38:44.810 --> 0:38:46.850 it was all over having to change into a pair 0:38:46.850 --> 0:38:48.810 of shorts, which I loved. Took me five seconds and 0:38:48.810 --> 0:38:51.210 it was fine, but it was so funny because I 0:38:51.210 --> 0:38:56.100 was trying to say that line. Anyway. So anyway. 0:38:56.130 --> 0:39:00.060 Anyway, moving back to the short stories, please, please let 0:39:00.060 --> 0:39:01.860 us know what you would have done. We'll put a 0:39:01.860 --> 0:39:04.470 poll in the Facebook group and on our stories of 0:39:04.469 --> 0:39:05.910 what you would have done if you would have lied 0:39:05.910 --> 0:39:08.370 and said it wasn't your you didn't go to the toilet, 0:39:08.370 --> 0:39:09.990 or if you would own up to it. And then 0:39:09.989 --> 0:39:14.070 also please send us in your plumbing disaster stories and 0:39:14.070 --> 0:39:15.569 we will share them next week. 0:39:19.530 --> 0:39:21.930 But is it time for special share? 0:39:22.890 --> 0:39:27.300 Share. My special share is actually a go to meditation 0:39:27.300 --> 0:39:30.150 of of mine on the Kik app, and it's called 0:39:30.150 --> 0:39:33.180 four Part Breath and it's with Jamie. This is also 0:39:33.180 --> 0:39:36.360 known as box Breathing. It goes for about five minutes, 0:39:36.360 --> 0:39:38.610 but you can do the practice for much longer than that. 0:39:38.610 --> 0:39:41.490 But basically through the meditation he teaches you how to 0:39:41.520 --> 0:39:43.680 stop and breathe and focus on your breath and get 0:39:43.680 --> 0:39:45.930 to four part breath, which is when you breathe in 0:39:45.930 --> 0:39:49.250 for four counts, hold for four counts, out for four counts, 0:39:49.250 --> 0:39:52.490 hold for four counts. And for me, this breathing meditation 0:39:52.489 --> 0:39:56.209 and even just this method is the best thing to 0:39:56.210 --> 0:39:59.000 do when I'm really stressed. Or my heart rate's like 0:39:59.000 --> 0:40:02.210 through the roof. And the reason why I wanted to 0:40:02.210 --> 0:40:03.710 bring it up, because it's one of my favorites and 0:40:03.710 --> 0:40:05.960 my go to, obviously. But the reason why I also 0:40:05.989 --> 0:40:08.239 wanted to bring it up now, because I've been using 0:40:08.239 --> 0:40:11.719 it for ages, is last night, as we've kind of 0:40:11.750 --> 0:40:13.759 touched on, we're away, we're in Sydney, we're in a 0:40:13.760 --> 0:40:16.969 hotel room. I haven't had the best luck with being 0:40:16.969 --> 0:40:20.270 interrupted in my sleep while we've been here, and the 0:40:20.270 --> 0:40:22.819 other night someone tried to accidentally get into my door. 0:40:22.820 --> 0:40:24.320 I think they were just had a really, really like. 0:40:24.350 --> 0:40:26.000 It was like the middle of the night, 2 a.m. 0:40:26.000 --> 0:40:28.399 and I heard the car beep card beep on my 0:40:28.400 --> 0:40:30.110 door and then the door rattle. And that woke me up. 0:40:30.110 --> 0:40:31.340 And it kind of rattled me because I was like, 0:40:31.370 --> 0:40:33.739 is there someone in my room? So that was the 0:40:33.739 --> 0:40:38.359 other night, last night, what happened? Which literally threw my 0:40:38.360 --> 0:40:41.750 heart rate through the roof. Do you remember how we 0:40:41.780 --> 0:40:44.060 were getting our hair and make up done in my room? Yes, 0:40:44.090 --> 0:40:47.029 at 4:30 a.m.. Yes. And I put the Bluetooth speaker on. 0:40:47.060 --> 0:40:49.460 Oh my God. And I connected music. Yes, but it 0:40:49.460 --> 0:40:54.200 was really soft, right? Yeah. I woke up to. I'm 0:40:54.230 --> 0:40:59.570 talking loud. As loud as a party. Music blasting through 0:40:59.600 --> 0:41:01.760 my speaker at 2:30 a.m.. 0:41:01.790 --> 0:41:02.149 Oh my. 0:41:02.150 --> 0:41:04.040 God. And I jumped. 0:41:04.070 --> 0:41:04.580 Oh. Of course. 0:41:04.610 --> 0:41:06.830 Out of bed. Because it startled me so much. Oh 0:41:06.830 --> 0:41:09.830 my God. Like, threw myself at the wall to the 0:41:09.830 --> 0:41:12.169 plug because I also couldn't really see much to just 0:41:12.170 --> 0:41:15.980 turn it off from the power point. And my heart rate, 0:41:15.980 --> 0:41:17.780 because it was. I can't even explain how loud it 0:41:17.780 --> 0:41:21.560 was so loud. Like obviously someone was up late listening 0:41:21.590 --> 0:41:23.930 to music and it had like disconnected from their speaker 0:41:23.930 --> 0:41:26.210 and had like connected to mine or someone else's music. 0:41:26.239 --> 0:41:28.069 I thought your phone had music. 0:41:28.100 --> 0:41:28.819 No. 0:41:28.850 --> 0:41:29.810 My God, that is. 0:41:29.840 --> 0:41:32.030 It was music I'd never heard before. And it was. 0:41:32.030 --> 0:41:34.549 It was. I honestly was listening for it to two 0:41:34.550 --> 0:41:36.980 seconds before I turned it off. So like. But I also, 0:41:37.010 --> 0:41:38.630 I think I was also startled because I was like, 0:41:38.630 --> 0:41:40.279 if I work in everyone else up around me, like 0:41:40.280 --> 0:41:41.600 I wanted to ask you because you're in the room 0:41:41.600 --> 0:41:44.280 next to me if you heard anything? But then I 0:41:44.310 --> 0:41:46.170 lay back in bed and my heart rate. 0:41:46.200 --> 0:41:46.439 Oh. 0:41:46.980 --> 0:41:50.100 Because it was just like shock. And so loud was, 0:41:50.130 --> 0:41:51.029 oh my God, it. 0:41:51.030 --> 0:41:52.560 Literally would have jumped out of bed. Like I would. 0:41:52.560 --> 0:41:54.840 Have felt like I was running, like I was like. 0:41:55.230 --> 0:41:57.480 So then I was literally doing four part breath in 0:41:57.480 --> 0:42:01.020 the bed until I fell asleep. So yeah, bit of 0:42:01.020 --> 0:42:03.810 a story there for you, but also great meditation. 0:42:03.840 --> 0:42:07.050 Love, I love that. Um, and I'm sorry, that is 0:42:07.050 --> 0:42:09.930 really shocking. Took a while to go back. Very unlucky. 0:42:09.930 --> 0:42:12.210 That is very unlikely and very unlucky. 0:42:12.239 --> 0:42:14.550 Yeah, I feel like Bluetooth speakers in hotels shouldn't be 0:42:14.550 --> 0:42:16.320 a thing if you can connect to someone else's room. 0:42:16.530 --> 0:42:17.910 What the heck? Yeah, dumb. 0:42:17.910 --> 0:42:20.910 Anyway, very small radius only. What's yours? Okay. Love that 0:42:20.910 --> 0:42:22.980 for you. No, I love, I love, I love that 0:42:22.980 --> 0:42:25.020 breath meditation so much. So I don't love that for you. 0:42:25.020 --> 0:42:27.300 That's really startling and horrible. And I'm really sorry you 0:42:27.300 --> 0:42:30.060 went through that. Mine's a book. It's called All Fours 0:42:30.090 --> 0:42:33.900 by Miranda July. I have just absolutely loved reading it. 0:42:33.989 --> 0:42:36.660 It is gorgeous. It's just such a nice read. Anyone 0:42:36.660 --> 0:42:38.730 that's read it, a few people have because they people 0:42:38.730 --> 0:42:40.680 reply to me on my stories when I shared it, 0:42:41.350 --> 0:42:45.190 I can never feel I don't know how I feel 0:42:45.190 --> 0:42:48.580 about inserting a tampon anymore. And if you if you know, 0:42:48.580 --> 0:42:49.540 you know. Okay. 0:42:49.780 --> 0:42:50.560 Oh, God. 0:42:50.590 --> 0:42:53.380 It's. I just it's that. The only thing is, I 0:42:53.380 --> 0:42:55.060 don't know how I'm going to feel. Okay. 0:42:55.900 --> 0:42:58.270 Interesting. Because your period's coming up, so we'll see how 0:42:58.270 --> 0:42:58.600 you go. 0:42:58.630 --> 0:43:01.240 I know, um, but aside from that, it's a really, 0:43:01.239 --> 0:43:04.870 really beautiful read about a woman and her journey and 0:43:04.900 --> 0:43:09.489 kind of rediscovering herself. So I highly recommend reading that. Amazing. 0:43:09.520 --> 0:43:12.640 Thanks, laws. Okay, well, that's it from us today, guys. 0:43:12.640 --> 0:43:15.910 Wednesday's episode is with one of our favorite people, Harry. 0:43:15.940 --> 0:43:18.580 Harry Garside, after the Olympics. Yeah. 0:43:18.610 --> 0:43:21.070 So look forward to that one. We can't wait to 0:43:21.100 --> 0:43:22.420 share that one with you guys. And if you want 0:43:22.450 --> 0:43:25.299 to get involved in our Kick Pod Facebook group, we 0:43:25.300 --> 0:43:29.200 would absolutely love to have you. And on socials and everything. 0:43:29.200 --> 0:43:30.969 And as we said at the top of the podcast, please, 0:43:30.969 --> 0:43:33.250 please give us a good rating. If you've enjoyed today's podcast, 0:43:33.280 --> 0:43:34.960 we love you guys and we'll chat to you soon. 0:43:34.960 --> 0:43:36.010 Love you. Bye!