S1: Listener.
S2: Kiki acknowledges the traditional owners and custodians of the land
S2: in which we're recording this podcast. The Ulika Wulong clan
S2: of the Boomerang, who were a part of the Kulin nation.
S2: We pay our respects to our elders, past and present,
S2: and extend our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
S2: peoples today. Welcome to the Kick Pod a damn with
S2: your besties on the stuff that matters.
S3: One. Two. Three.
UU: One. Two. Three. Four.
S2: Hello, everyone. Hi, guys. Hi, Steffi. Hello. How are you?
S2: I'm good. How are you? Good. How are you? Are
S2: you just loving that? Everyone knows that you are pregnant.
S2: And you can now. I just love that everyone knows
S2: that I'm pregnant. It's just the best wide world. Yeah,
S2: everyone knows. But the cloud lings know. And I just.
S2: It is always so hard when we're. We can't tell
S2: the cloud links yet. 100%. No. It's nice. It's very,
S2: very lovely. And yeah, thank you for everyone who's slid
S2: into the DMs. We're very excited. And how are you feeling?
S2: I'm feeling good. I feel like the closer I've like
S2: is in, the closer I got to the second trimester,
S2: that I started to feel better. Um, which, again, so
S2: thankful for because it's not the same for everyone. Um,
S2: but yeah, I'm excited to have a bit of my
S2: energy back. I find it so interesting that in pregnancy
S2: that generally the first trimester can. The last trimester is
S2: obviously difficult physically, your hips and yeah, yeah, yeah. But
S2: between the first and the second trimester. So first trimester
S2: is 0 to 12 weeks and then 12 to 24.
S2: Is it the second. Are they both 12 weeks. Yep
S2: I think so okay. Yeah guys don't quote me on
S2: nine months three months three months three months knowledge. Yeah okay. Cool.
S2: So the first three months the the baby is tiny,
S2: like the size of a date it gets. Yeah. Around that.
S2: So but your body is so tired building it to
S2: the size of a date. And then when it needs
S2: to build it to this, what size does it get
S2: to at the end of the second trimester? Oh God,
S2: I don't know. Probably like an eggplant I don't know,
S2: it's like quite large. Yeah. You'd think that would take
S2: more energy. I just I find it so interesting, like
S2: how the energy is so different between the two trimesters. Yeah.
S2: I actually don't know the science behind why that is.
S2: I mean, it's literally your career. And of course, I
S2: know some people have unfortunately like morning sickness throughout the
S2: literally until they come. Yeah. For some people it does
S2: alleviate 100%. I think maybe it's just because it's going
S2: from like literally nothing existing to organs producing bones building
S2: like it's it's weird. It's so weird like that. Yeah. Fingernails, like,
S2: everything just starts to form in your body. Wait, so
S2: the fingernails. Oh, my God. Of course, the baby is
S2: born with fingernails. Yeah, I think by now it's like
S2: most of it's. No, some of it's spinal cord is, like,
S2: been created. I don't know how to explain it created. Yes.
S2: I'm creating a human in my belly. Wow. Um. It's
S2: quite it's quite fascinating. I've got an app that, like,
S2: tells you each week that you tick over like the
S2: fun facts of like what's happening and I it's funny
S2: because a lot of people were like, oh, second time around,
S2: you just don't. You're not as fascinated. But I think
S2: because it's been almost four years since Harvey, I am
S2: still fascinated by it. It's like I want to be
S2: just as excited this time around. So I'm still loving
S2: the updates because I've forgotten it all. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, well,
S2: there you go. Well, I'm glad you're starting to feel
S2: more energized. That's awesome to hear. Now, now we are
S2: going to say something that is forget Black Friday. Yeah, yeah. Well,
S2: you know, that is just give it a moment. The
S2: statement forget Black Friday and the reason why we're saying that.
S2: Because we know lots of people love Black Friday. I mean,
S2: it's a great time to get in for your Christmas shopping. It's,
S2: you know, it's a great time of year to stop.
S2: But for us, ruining the campaign, the campaign is forget
S2: Black Friday for us, it doesn't make sense, because we
S2: know that 88% of you are more likely to move
S2: on a Monday at Kik. So at Kik, it doesn't
S2: make sense. It doesn't make sense there. Black Friday does
S2: also contribute to quite a bit of landfill. So I
S2: think there are some there's some reasons also that we
S2: feel quite passionate about Black Friday. But yes you're right.
S2: So at Kik we were like, well why does Friday
S2: get all of the hype. So we are now going
S2: to be over the next month together celebrating Mondays. Now
S2: you might think, how are we going to celebrate Mondays? Well,
S2: your favorite day of the week just got better. That's
S2: a good line, isn't it? I really like that one.
S2: Yeah yeah okay. Yes yes we our amazing team wrote
S2: this also. So it's not like we're complimenting ourself here. Okay.
S2: So number one our brand new Pilates trainer Greta. Now
S2: we have not dropped a new trainer to you guys
S2: for quite a while now. You have been asking for
S2: a new trainer. We know you love Pilates, and so
S2: we have come to you with the best of the best.
S2: So Greta is the ClassPass trainer of the year. Now,
S2: if anyone it basically her classes. If you know you
S2: know they are waitlisted forever. She is an incredible reformer
S2: instructor at kick. She is teaching mat Pilates that will
S2: help you get your reformer fix from home. And just
S2: a note there, you don't need a reformer to do
S2: her classes there. Reformer inspired. So a lot of the moves,
S2: I think we think, oh, in order to, you know,
S2: get the benefits of a reformer class or using a reformer,
S2: you need a reformer. Absolutely not. We also know that
S2: not everyone has well, very, very few people have access
S2: to a reformer. So Greta is the solution to that.
S2: And I also have to say, as someone who filmed
S2: the workouts with Greta and could not walk for a
S2: few days afterwards, Greta is so in terms of Pilates style,
S2: she's very, very strong. So I feel like it's a
S2: combination of if you lack strength training and you lack Pilates,
S2: but maybe something with like for me, for Pilates. I
S2: do prefer strength based Pilates. This is like my yeah style.
S2: It doesn't move too fast so you don't have to
S2: worry about, oh, I can't keep up with the instructor.
S2: You will be able to keep up with Greta, but
S2: there is a slow and strong strong burn. I don't
S2: think I've ever felt so much muscle soreness after filming
S2: before than with Greta. So we are just. So you
S2: were just going to absolutely love her? Of course she
S2: has the kick energy. She's just oh my goodness. She
S2: is amazing. So so so excited for you to meet her.
S2: Now number two new workouts will be dropping every Monday
S2: to get you moving. Number three we are giving away
S2: cash prizes on Mondays just for moving because we need
S2: to celebrate that. It is amazing. So today we are
S2: actually giving away $1,000. I mean amazing, great before Christmas
S2: to go into the draw, complete any kick workout on
S2: a Monday so you need to complete it on a
S2: Monday because we are celebrating Mondays. Use the share feature
S2: in App Share on Instagram. And just in terms of
S2: what that is, after you finish a workout, it will
S2: come up at the end with well done, you're amazing.
S2: And then there's a share button. It is quite big.
S2: We'll share it on our Instagram as well, so you
S2: can see what that is and share that on your Instagram.
S2: But just make sure you have your profile on public
S2: so we can see it and tag us. Exactly. Yes,
S2: that would be helpful. Otherwise it is unlikely we will
S2: see it if you don't tag us. And now number four,
S2: which is I think a lot of the cloud links
S2: will be very excited by this. Steffi, what is it?
S2: If you are new to Kik, if you haven't joined
S2: us already, you can get 50% off your first month
S2: with Kik. So don't wait for Friday. Come and join
S2: us now on a Monday and get 50% off your
S2: first month and enjoy the new classes with Gretta! So exciting! Woohoo!
S2: Now TikTok. Yes, you're scrolling at night, late at night,
S2: or whenever the heck you scroll. I'm scrolling through and
S2: every now and then there are things that, to be honest,
S2: drive me crazy. And it's okay. Like, I know some people,
S2: we all have our own thoughts. Opinions like things don't
S2: like things. That is our prerogative. And my prerogative is
S2: to not like some things I'm about to talk about.
S2: I think the most annoying thing about it, I love them,
S2: I know, but I think the most annoying thing about
S2: it and like this is no shade. Well, it kind
S2: of is a bit of shade on TikTok, but like,
S2: this is my thing that annoys me the most. Naturally. Right?
S2: Algorithm we exactly. We should scroll past things that we
S2: don't like. We should do that, right? But sometimes you
S2: get so sucked in to kind of like, hate watching
S2: something that you're like, oh God, I just have to
S2: watch this now. And then once you watch a whole video,
S2: TikTok thinks you like it. And so then your feeds
S2: full of it. That's something that I hate. So, so true,
S2: so true. Now, this is actually, I think this might
S2: possibly become a little bit of a segment. Okay, cool.
S2: So what this segment is going to become and you
S2: guys please send it in to us as well. What
S2: trends can you get around that you love? You're like, yes,
S2: this trend is adding value to my life, I love it.
S2: And which ones do you like? Please can this trend
S2: go to sleep and not come back? Okay, sleep and
S2: look on the algorithm not to come back up. So
S2: the one I saw the other day and I just,
S2: I feel like this one has just got a little
S2: bit out of control. This is for me personally, but
S2: it is the TikTok morning shed. Yeah. Have you seen this?
S2: This is like when there's, like, a lot to undo
S2: in the morning, right? Is that is that what it is?
S2: There is a lot. Not just like a few things.
S2: There is a lot to undo in the morning. So
S2: basically it's people say they're shedding the skin, hair and
S2: other products that they sleep in. And when we say
S2: like shedding their skin and hair, it's things they've put
S2: on top of their skin and hair that they shed.
S2: So then in the they say like they go to
S2: bed looking crazy, wake up looking amazing because they shed
S2: this stuff. Yeah, I am absolutely overwhelmed by the amount
S2: of stuff that these people are putting on and taking
S2: off and like all power to them. I just I
S2: think about it and I'm like, it's just so unachievable
S2: for me personally. So particularly if it's like a thing
S2: that most people are saying you should do every, every day.
S2: Oh my goodness me. So first of all, it's things
S2: include the silk hair bonnet. I mean that's that's fine.
S2: I think that's quick. If you want to put a
S2: bonnet on your hair or just have a silk pillowcase.
S2: Yeah that's fine, I think also with those silk bonnet,
S2: I think a lot of them are also going over those,
S2: like curling things. They never fucking work. I have tried
S2: three different brands of the curling. She's talking about heatless curlers,
S2: heatless curlers and they never, I don't know, it's probably
S2: just my hair type, but they never, ever work. And
S2: so every time I see a TikTok, I undo it
S2: in the morning and it looks fabulous. I just get
S2: so frustrated because I was like, I'm like, that's just
S2: never been the case for me. And it would actually
S2: take me less time to do my hair in the
S2: morning with a hot curler or something than it would
S2: to try and do before bed, and then it fail
S2: in the morning, and me have to try and fix
S2: it anyway. I don't get it. I don't get that one.
S2: I agree, and I do think as well. It's like
S2: sometimes there's any even when sometimes people like promote like
S2: their airwrap. For example, I have an airwrap, I love it. Yeah.
S2: When a hairdresser uses an airwrap what it looks like,
S2: I'm like, oh my God, wow, you can create that
S2: at home. And then I try and like, no, I can't. Right.
S2: So I feel like as well with the heatless curls,
S2: there are some people that pull it out and I'm like, okay,
S2: I know my hair would not look like that. But
S2: then there's also like, I feel like as well, the
S2: effort to put in a heatless curl. It takes quite
S2: a lot of time. I've also I remember I saw
S2: Michelle Andrews from shameless talk about it, and I think
S2: it was her stylist did a review of I think
S2: three of the team reviewed Heatless curls. It was very
S2: honest review, which I loved and I think it was Michelle.
S2: But one person said like, I had the worst sleep
S2: of my life because it's so uncomfortable. Thing is like
S2: rock hard in my head and I have a sore
S2: neck and no nice hair is worth it. And also
S2: the hair is this. It's okay. Yeah. It's not. Yeah.
S2: So the hair bonnet over in your right. The hair
S2: bonnet usually is because of the heatless curlers, which takes
S2: so much time to put on. The lip stain. Have
S2: you seen that? The lip stain. People like paint this
S2: thing on their lips and then they peel it off
S2: and your lips, like, look like they have a tint. Essentially,
S2: just do that in the morning. Those lip stains work
S2: in like five seconds. It's the shed. Okay, this is
S2: why I don't. I just don't think it's necessary. Um.
S2: Mouth tape. Now, I have to say, I actually am
S2: mouth taping at the moment. It takes five seconds and I.
S2: But I'm not buying expensive. I've literally go to the chemist.
S2: This is a hack for you, for mouth tape. You
S2: go to whatever chemist you go to. And I think
S2: the brand is like nexavar or something. It's like a, um,
S2: it's just like a tape thing that you use on wounds,
S2: but it's a white, very thin tape. Yeah. I don't
S2: put it across my mouth. I put it from, like,
S2: my nose to my chin. Yep. Vertically. Okay. And I
S2: but I don't go all the way through my nose.
S2: It's just kind of just wanted to. You could. Yeah.
S2: And you can still kind of talk a tiny bit,
S2: but what it helps you do is to breathe through
S2: your nose when you're sleeping, which can help you get
S2: a deeper sleep, which is scientifically proven. And yes, I
S2: have to say, I am about that. But that's that's
S2: the extent that I'm going to chin strap, a chin strap,
S2: a chin strap, like, what's it strapping to? Like you
S2: put it on like you put it around. I think
S2: you put it around your ears and it straps up.
S2: And I think it's meant to, like, lift your face
S2: or something. I just like, we don't need. Oh, that
S2: reminds me of, like, the brace that I had to
S2: wear with my braces. Yeah, but it's not for braces.
S2: It's for. It's for shedding in the morning. Collagen wrap masks,
S2: wrinkle patches and under eye masks. It's just. Yeah. It's
S2: just if you. I also think if you were to
S2: add up, first of all, the amount of time that
S2: takes to put all of this stuff on, I'm going
S2: to say, especially with the heatless curls one hour. Yeah.
S2: And then the cost of this. But that's it. Like
S2: things like a face mask. You can't use that more
S2: than once. No. So like it just I just feel
S2: like it has got to another. And I do think
S2: as well, like another level that is just probably a
S2: bit inaccessible and unnecessary. And I also think on TikTok
S2: as well. This is what I struggle with with the algorithm,
S2: is that the more shocking the start of the video is,
S2: the more likely people will watch it, the more likely
S2: to go viral. So when people are doing this shed,
S2: the more stuff they're peeling off. Like the ASMR stuff.
S2: That's what gets people engaged in the video. And so
S2: I feel like this trend has taken off, but kind
S2: of also because of the algorithm, because the more like
S2: you're shedding off, the more engaging it is, and then
S2: it's actually become something that is putting more pressure on people.
S2: I just I just think if you don't have time,
S2: don't do it, don't feel pressure. You don't need to
S2: be shedding to wake up as like a caterpillar. Like
S2: it's honestly like it's a caterpillar. They said a caterpillar
S2: who sheds. No. They turn into a butterfly. They turn
S2: into a butterfly, a snake, a snake, a snake. But
S2: they shed, I think they shed once a year after
S2: they've gone into hibernation. We do not mean to be
S2: doing this 365 nights of the year. So I just
S2: want to say that is a trend that I'm not about,
S2: apart from the mouth tape. Okay, Steffi, you know what's
S2: funny is I've actually I keep getting targeted by this
S2: face mask. I mean, I think everyone who follows me
S2: would know. Now, I am a massive fan of face masks,
S2: particularly James Cosmetics. I've been wearing them for years. But
S2: I gotta say, when I think of James Cosmetics, I
S2: think of you. Not the founder or anything. Just me. Um,
S2: but it's it's funny. It's like it's the there's this
S2: brand that keeps targeting me, and I'm so close to
S2: buying it, but it's a face mask that you wear overnight.
S2: And the results that people are showing in the morning is, like, unreal. Like,
S2: are you sure? But how do you know? But I
S2: wouldn't use it every night. But how do you know?
S2: Is it reusable? No no no no no no. Like
S2: it's it would be like a special face mask. Like,
S2: I know like the next day I'm doing something, but
S2: you wear it the whole night. You wear it. So
S2: sleep is a part of the shed process. Yes. Okay,
S2: so you are. Now I'm about to become. I would
S2: maybe try this mask, but I wouldn't do it with
S2: the heatless curlers and the bonnet and the. And the
S2: lip tape. Is it uncomfortable to sleep with a mask
S2: for the entire night? No, it's like a well, I
S2: don't know. I haven't slept with it.
S1: I don't know. It looks like it like.
S2: Goes to your face. Do you know what? Can you
S2: find it? I honestly haven't.
S1: Even clicked on the ad yet, but I keep getting
S1: targeted with it.
S2: Can I just say also what? Steph is a sucker
S2: for an ad if you. I actually am.
S1: No I am. I click on that many freaking ads.
S1: I really do.
S2: I mean, that's the point of them. But I do
S2: feel like you make a lot of purchase decisions based
S2: on who targets you on Instagram and meta. It's true.
S2: So brands listening send your ads to Steph. It's true.
S2: We'll purchase.
S1: I'm impulse shopper for sure. Um, although you know what?
S1: I'm an impulse. Put it in my cart. I'm not
S1: necessarily always purchasing, but I do put it in my
S1: cart pretty quickly. And then I get the emails. It's
S1: like you forgot something. You've abandoned.
S2: Your cart. That's good. That's good.
S1: So something that I saw, and I'm actually. I'm really.
S1: So we've been laughing a little bit at this. This
S1: is again the diet trends that pop up. Like obviously
S1: we've spoken about our stance on this before. It's not okay.
S1: And this one I actually saw pop up because I
S1: 40 I 40 I follow body and Soul on Instagram,
S1: and it was an article that they wrote about a trend,
S1: and I'm really grateful that this trend hadn't actually popped
S1: up on my feed, because obviously I'm doing a very
S1: good job at scrolling past market trends, which is great. Um,
S1: but I wondered if you'd heard of it. Um, but
S1: it's it's called. Wait, okra water trend. Okra is a vegetable,
S1: and it's this water.
S2: I've never heard of this vegetable.
S1: Okay, cool. So it's it's it's the way it's described
S1: is a slimy drink with slimy claims. Body and soul says.
S1: And what was really good about this article is that
S1: they got a dietitian to actually talk about the vegetable
S1: and the drink and like what it would actually do.
S1: The problem I have with this trend is that people
S1: are talking about it improving fertility or libido and like
S1: all this other stuff, and people are drinking like making
S1: this every day and drinking this slimy, disgusting water. Right. Um, and,
S1: and talking about all these, like, benefits, etc. the dietitian
S1: breaks it down and basically says, like, other than it
S1: being like super high in fiber, which like the vegetable
S1: is fine to eat in any kind of balanced diet,
S1: but concentrated to that level is an issue. Like, it
S1: can really like fuck with your digestive system and etc.
S1: so they have like a lot of problems with this trend,
S1: just like any other trend that you see, like the
S1: water with the chia seeds in it and stuff like that,
S1: there's nothing wrong with chia seeds, okay? There's a lot
S1: of benefits in chia seeds, but drinking them concentrated in
S1: a water like every day there's a problem with overconsumption.
S2: Of the trend was called shower in your body. Yeah
S2: yeah yeah yeah. Internal shower.
S1: So I just wanted to bring it up because again,
S1: it's just another example of like when you actually get
S1: a dietitian or like scientist behind it to break it down.
S1: It's like there is there's so many false claims with
S1: this trend. Do not buy into it. Do not see it.
S1: Like this trend is like, I don't know if it's
S1: weight loss, if it's fertility, if it's libido like. And
S1: the thing about it that's really hard with fertility that
S1: is such a fucking like that is such a delicate
S1: space that if you are in that and you are
S1: struggling through that, to see something like, oh, if I
S1: chop up a vegetable and put it in my water,
S1: you probably fucking do it because you are so desperate
S1: for that, right? And that's fair, but so unfair because
S1: it's not actually proven or scientifically backed. So just again,
S1: another example of a kind of vegetable diet trend that
S1: is just absolutely bonkers and false.
S2: I just wanted to fall off my chair while you
S2: were talking about that. I think as well, what's really
S2: difficult is with and this comes back to the algorithm.
S2: I mean, it's it's all platforms, but I think TikTok
S2: has probably exacerbated it quite a bit. But when people
S2: used to talk about, you know, for example, cacao has
S2: benefits like it has magnesium in it, it can contribute,
S2: it can help with muscle soreness, blah, blah things. But
S2: when a dietician talks about that, it's the language is
S2: this can help with this this it's not a solution. No.
S2: And I think what's difficult exactly what's difficult with TikTok
S2: in particular with the algorithm is using language like it can.
S2: Some people put in kind of disclaimers around it and
S2: the like the science backed stuff? That is not a hook. No.
S2: And what hooks is definitive language around like this will
S2: improve your fertility, of course. And as you said, Sophie,
S2: like if you're going through and it's also very likely
S2: if you're going through infertility, your algorithm on TikTok, probably,
S2: if that's what you're searching and watching, is going to
S2: be on things that people are saying is going to
S2: help you. Right. And I think what's hard about it
S2: is there's obviously no moderation on the platforms around what
S2: what advice people are giving. So someone could just start
S2: like whoever started this trend. Someone might have watched one
S2: video on it, not understood it, and then made another
S2: video and then that went viral and then etc. but
S2: I just I think what's really and I'm really struggle
S2: with this is just the definitive language that we have
S2: that we have to use. But with hooks on TikTok
S2: like this will help. It's not and it's not. It's
S2: not true. But that's what hooks people in. And it's
S2: why that type of content is going viral. And it's
S2: why we just we don't see much about like, or
S2: in some cases or whatever it might be because that's
S2: not a hawk. So it's really, really hard. And I
S2: just think it's so important to keep in mind when
S2: you're watching this type of content, because it is very
S2: likely that the person has, I don't know, just they've
S2: changed the wording. So it like it is. It has
S2: that hook, which just makes it really difficult. Now I
S2: just want to say one positive one before we go,
S2: because there are some good trends and I want to
S2: I wonder if you've done this. There's this lady I
S2: follow on TikTok and she cleans her apartment with the
S2: timer on.
S1: You think? You think I'm cleaning my apartment, I know. Anyway, continue.
S2: And it I it's I actually think it's quite because
S2: she makes it like a challenge for herself. She hates cleaning. Yeah,
S2: but and I mean now her whole channel is her
S2: cleaning her apartment, so maybe she likes it. Yeah, it's
S2: really big too, but she puts her timer on. Yeah.
S2: And then she'll be like, okay, I've got one hour.
S2: Here's what I've got done. Yeah. When you don't go
S2: on your phone and you clean efficiently, you can actually
S2: get a lot done in an hour. But I find
S2: it really interesting. And that's a trend that I can
S2: get around. I think it's a really good idea. Timed
S2: yourself cleaning it. I haven't, but I do. I'm like,
S2: that is a good idea.
S1: It is a good idea. I think for me it's like,
S1: I think gamifying cleaning is the only way I can
S1: literally do it.
S2: That's why I thought of you. That's why I thought, Steffie,
S2: it's time you start. You start timing yourself and writing
S2: out what you've got done.
S1: Yeah, well it is. Yeah, it's. That's a great idea.
S1: And maybe I will try it, but no, I have
S1: never done that. Not to this point. The only thing
S1: I've come close to is, is the other night I
S1: really wanted to watch a movie, and I was home
S1: alone and there was a lot to clean. And I
S1: knew that if I wanted to watch this movie, I
S1: had to get my cleaning done within. Yeah. And it
S1: had to get it done within an hour. Otherwise it
S1: would have been too late to put a movie on.
S1: So there was a bit of a time pressure, but
S1: I didn't necessarily time it. But I did put my
S1: phone on Do Not Disturb, put it on charge in
S1: the corner and didn't touch it. I actually missed a
S1: call from your lovely husband in that time, because it
S1: was the first time in a long time I haven't
S1: had my phone on me and I got it done.
S1: So yes, not.
S2: Having for an.
S1: Hour I did, but well, actually I think I'd done
S1: quicker than that.
S2: And yeah, I saw on your list was clean out
S2: the fish tank. Yeah.
S1: Which it honestly takes five minutes, but it's just annoying.
S2: Honestly, such a drain. I think I will never have
S2: a fish tank for that reason. Just another task. Okay, team.
S2: So any trends that you see that you want us
S2: to talk about, please send them through. We will share
S2: our honest thoughts and I like this segment I like it.
S2: 1234 okay Steffi. So the other day I mean this
S2: is a very social media memory media episode also. It's
S2: where a lot of the opinionated content comes from, slash content.
S2: That's where we spend a lot of our time. We
S2: have thoughts on. So that is why. But the other
S2: day I was on Instagram and a post from Women's
S2: Health came up. Women's Health Australia. We'll link it in
S2: the show notes. We'll link the article in the show
S2: notes that the post was about, and I was like,
S2: oh my goodness, Steffy, we have to talk about this
S2: because I feel like it is something that we don't
S2: talk about enough. But I do think if we are
S2: in this position, it takes up a shitload of time
S2: in our mental space slash load. So someone sent in
S2: a question to Women's Health asking if she should be
S2: offended that her partner doesn't orgasm with her. So the
S2: question was, I've been seeing this guy for a few
S2: months now and things are going well. We have fun together,
S2: we communicate well, and I feel like we're really compatible
S2: in so many ways. But there's something I can't stop
S2: thinking about. So far, he hasn't had an orgasm during
S2: sex with me. He says it has nothing to do
S2: with me, but I can't help feeling like maybe I'm
S2: not attractive enough or that I'm doing something wrong. I'm
S2: not super comfortable around sex and this makes things worse.
S2: It's been hard to talk about, and I don't want
S2: to make things worse by pushing him to talk about
S2: it more. But I don't understand what's going on. What
S2: should I be doing? Yours. Frustrated and confused now as
S2: I am, Akimi, who is a qualified relationship and intimacy expert,
S2: commented on this which we will read through. But first
S2: of all, Steffi, what do you think of this? I feel.
S1: I feel for this person because I think it's so
S1: normal and natural. Unfortunately, to jump to a conclusion that
S1: it's about us. If something like that happens. I mean,
S1: Josh and I have had a very active sexual life
S1: together for almost 13 years now, and there has been
S1: times where he hasn't finished and I instantly have gone, like,
S1: what am I doing wrong? Or like, is it something
S1: I'm doing? You just automatically put, even though you are
S1: comfortable with this person, even at that stage. So I
S1: wanted to point that out because this is like they've
S1: just freshly started dating. It sounds like, and she's not
S1: super confident or like comfortable around sex. So as someone
S1: who is very comfortable with having sex with a partner,
S1: you still kind of think like you're married.
S2: What am I doing? Yeah. And do you think I
S2: think the number one question which came up here. But
S2: I feel like that I don't know if this is
S2: something that males feel. I'm just talking from talking to
S2: friends and etc. and how I would feel. But I
S2: think one of the first things we go to is like,
S2: am I not attractive? Yeah. Like, are you not attracted
S2: to me anymore? Yeah.
S1: It's that and it's also just like, am I doing
S1: a shit job? Like, am I, am I doing something different?
S1: Am I? Like, do we need to mix it up?
S1: Is it because we're doing the same thing like and
S1: I think it's just normal. But I think, I think
S1: having the conversation about it, which is the hardest part,
S1: is what always gets us through it, through that time.
S1: And he'll be honest with me. He'll say, like, I'm
S1: sorry my head is elsewhere, or like he'll explain what's
S1: going on. And then I realize, okay, it's got nothing
S1: to do with me. And I also have to remind
S1: myself in those moments that there are plenty of times
S1: that we have sex. And I'm enjoying it, but I'm
S1: not going to finish. It's just like it's not going
S1: to happen that day. Whether there's something going on in
S1: my mind or my body or whatever doesn't mean I'm
S1: not enjoying it, doesn't mean I don't want to be
S1: doing it. It's just not going to happen. And that's
S1: got nothing to do with what he's doing. He could
S1: be doing a fantastic job and it's just not going
S1: to happen. And I have to remind myself of those
S1: moments in in those times because it's just it's something
S1: that happens. But it is such a I don't know
S1: why it's so awkward to talk about.
S2: It's so true. And I think as well, it's like
S2: in what you just said in this situation, I would
S2: say 90% of the time we default to it's my fault.
S2: So as in this situation, as the female you're feeling like,
S2: or this person is feeling like, oh, he's not attracted
S2: to me or we don't have that chemistry or whatever,
S2: am I doing the wrong thing as you just said, right.
S2: I must be doing a shit job. Yeah, but then
S2: that person, the other person who isn't able to finish,
S2: is probably thinking like, oh my goodness, I can't get
S2: out of my head. How embarrassing. They must think that, like,
S2: there's it's just so interesting. I feel like there's so
S2: much shame that we put on ourselves in that situation,
S2: when it's often not actually to do with us, and
S2: it's for factors outside of us. And I think that's
S2: because we we go for someone to blame. Right? It's like,
S2: and we blame ourselves. And I think that's what's really
S2: difficult because as we can see in what the relationship
S2: expert came back with, she said, like some things that
S2: could be causing it are stress, anxiety and depression. All
S2: of those things are outside of the control of this
S2: person that sent in this question in that moment. Exactly right. Medications, again,
S2: totally out of control. And medication is something that people
S2: could need. And it might medication can a side effect
S2: can be impacting your libido or your ability to finish.
S2: But if you need the medication like that, that is
S2: what it is, right? Issues within the relationship, physical health conditions,
S2: trauma or negative sexual experiences. And if that's from the
S2: past again, yeah, you you can't control that. Right. As
S2: the new person in the relationship. Overstimulation from other activities
S2: like porn or masturbating. And I know, like if I,
S2: I sometimes accidentally put a if you put a vibrator
S2: on too high and you don't build up to it,
S2: you literally my clitoris goes completely numb. It's so true.
S2: Does that happen to you?
S1: Yeah, yeah. No, it's so true.
S2: If you accidentally like, you have to ease into it.
S2: And for some of them, I actually some of my vibrators.
S2: I can't go to level three because it's just like
S2: numb straight away.
S1: Well, where my mind went to with this is like,
S1: I know that there's been times where Josh has thought
S1: we weren't going to have sex this day, so he
S1: might have, like, gone and done the deed himself. And
S1: then I'm like, suddenly coming home and wanting it. And
S1: he's like, oh, well, I don't have anything in the
S1: tank right now. Of course, you know, that's totally fair.
S2: That's exactly right. It's exactly right. It's again, like something
S2: that is just out of out of our control or
S2: fear of pregnancy or STIs. Again, if you are to
S2: get in the mood. Yeah. You can't be thinking about it. Exactly. Exactly, exactly. Right.
S2: So I think it's just something that and this is
S2: obviously fantastic advice, but I just really wanted to talk
S2: about it because I just feel like we so often
S2: blame ourselves when, as you said, you need to have
S2: a conversation about it. And it's there's it's often like 99%
S2: of the time, nothing to do with you. And there
S2: shouldn't be any shame about it. No.
S1: And I think the other thing that we wanted to
S1: touch on as well with this is because, interestingly, I mean,
S1: I know in my relationship, if I'm not getting to
S1: that point of like, maybe it's just not going to
S1: happen for me in this time. Josh does ask if
S1: there's anything he can do or whatever. So he also
S1: does kind of for a second, is it something that
S1: I'm doing wonders that, and until I tell him like, no, no, no,
S1: this is my mind is elsewhere or whatever, he can't
S1: move on from it. But I know, we know and
S1: we've spoken about the orgasm gap before on here. A
S1: lot of women don't finish during sex, and whether it's
S1: because their person that they're having sex with doesn't necessarily care,
S1: or just they just haven't gone. I don't know what
S1: it is, but it exists. Right. So we did a
S1: poll on our Instagram story because we wanted to know
S1: if there was an orgasm gap in your relationship, because
S1: I think it's also an important part of this. You
S1: have every right to to want that for yourself, to
S1: want that for your partner. Um, and unfortunately for a
S1: lot of women in heterosexual relationships, there's a huge gap.
S1: So the poll had the following options. Yes, I orgasm more. Yes,
S1: my partner orgasm more, orgasms more. No, we orgasm equally
S1: and then people just wanted to see the results. And
S1: the results were interesting. So yes, I orgasm more was
S1: the smallest result at 5%. So knowing that a lot
S1: of our listeners are women listening. Um, that was quite interesting. Yes,
S1: my partner orgasms more 38%. No, we orgasm equally 30.
S1: I was kind of happy to see that. That was
S1: like pretty close to partner orgasm more. And then just
S1: wanting to see the results was 27%. So, um, you know,
S1: a big percentage of people were just curious, which was
S1: totally fair. Um, but I just wanted to bring that
S1: up because I think it is important in this conversation
S1: as well, because I think just going to the point earlier,
S1: I know this whole question was about their partner not
S1: finishing as well. But if that's you in your relationship
S1: and you're the one that's not finishing and there is
S1: something that's going on, feel okay to talk about it.
S1: Like feel comfortable to talk about it, um, because you
S1: both deserve to enjoy your time in the bedroom. Um,
S1: and I think if it's someone that you're going to
S1: be regularly having sex with, then you should be able
S1: to have those conversations.
S2: I agree. And I wonder too, is that because we
S2: know the orgasm gap exists, and within that gap is
S2: women having less orgasms than men in heterosexual relationships. We
S2: also know that a lot of women genetically can't orgasm
S2: during sex. I am one of them. Like just from penetration.
S2: It's not enough for me to orgasm, and that's nothing
S2: to do with my husband or like, it's just I
S2: just I can't. Right. So I think the other thing to,
S2: to talk about as well is just there's a lot
S2: of women that go without orgasms within sex, but I
S2: think maybe it's because of movies or just what we've
S2: grown up to, to kind of believe is that a
S2: man like for sex to like, finish a man should
S2: and will. And I think that also puts more pressure
S2: on this. But I think if you think about it
S2: like there's been so many times where we've had sex
S2: and I, I orgasm from like other things and then
S2: but there's times when I'm like, just just as you
S2: said before, like, I don't think I am going to today. Yeah.
S2: And that's that's fine. Like that's okay. It doesn't mean
S2: I don't love my husband. It doesn't mean we don't
S2: have great sexual chemistry, have great sex, are attracted to
S2: each other. And so I think too, it's okay as
S2: well if your partner if you're in a heterosexual relationship
S2: and your male partner doesn't orgasm. I just think there's
S2: so much pressure on like, you know, and it's every movie.
S2: It's like when the guy orgasms. Well, sometimes in movies
S2: it's both, but mainly it's just when the guy orgasms
S2: like that is the signal that sex is over. Yeah,
S2: but it doesn't. That doesn't have to be the case
S2: every single time. And I think that puts even more
S2: pressure on this when it's not this person. Right. It's hard. Yeah, totally.
S2: And on the guy as well because they probably also
S2: feel that pressure. Well, unless I finish this, sex isn't over.
S2: And like, what if I can't then like, is it real?
S2: Like sex? Which obviously, of course it is. Yeah. Um,
S2: but yeah, I just think the more we talk about it,
S2: the better, because sex is not like the movies. Yeah, but.
S4: What is it? Time for special share.
S2: Shit. Steffi, what is your special share?
S1: Okay, my special share is a. Well, it's a book
S1: I'm reading now, but it's part of a series. Okay,
S1: so it's kind of the series. I read the first
S1: book from the series last year, and then I don't
S1: actually know why I didn't continue it, because I do
S1: remember really good.
S2: If you waited a year in between.
S1: Well, I'm on the third book now, but I enjoyed it.
S1: But I think I must have got like, I don't know,
S1: maybe you recommended a book. I think I just went
S1: out of the series mode, and then I totally forgot
S1: that I was reading the series, right? Anyway, I. But
S1: then I remember buying the second and the third book,
S1: and so it's been sitting on my shelf and I
S1: finally got through acotar, as everyone knows. Well, not everyone, but.
S2: If you listen to the.
S1: Podcast a lot about it. Um, and so I was
S1: very hesitant to get back into a series, if I'm honest.
S1: But at the same time, I was like, no, I
S1: really remember liking it. So maybe this will be different.
S1: And it's been different and I'm so happy about it. Um,
S1: so it's the Magnolia Parks universe is what people call
S1: the series. The first book is Magnolia Parks, the second
S1: book is Daisy hates, and then the one that I'm
S1: reading currently, number three is Magnolia Parks The Long Way Home,
S1: and there's another two to read. So one came out
S1: this year. There was originally four in the series, and
S1: now there's five. Does that excite you? That excites me. Okay, amazing.
S1: I'm already on page. I started reading the other book yesterday,
S1: and it wasn't like a day where I just sat
S1: down and read like there was other stuff I was doing,
S1: and I'm already on page like 150. So like, I'm
S1: really into this book. Um, and basically, like Daisy hates
S1: and Magnolia Park. So Daisy hates is like part of
S1: a gang family. Her and her brother lost their parents. Um,
S1: I think his dad was a part of, like, gang violence, etc..
S1: And but they're very, very wealthy. But they're like gang
S1: lords kind of family. And she she's just such a
S1: likable character. No no no no no. And it's based
S1: in London. Yeah. And then Magnolia Parks is like the
S1: it girl of London. Like she's in all the papers.
S1: She's invited to all the parties, all the guys like her,
S1: like that kind of thing. And they're just they're both
S1: such interesting characters, different but really interesting. And their love
S1: interests and like, history and stuff comes into the story
S1: so much, and you just become obsessed with their partners
S1: and like, you're wanting it, you're wanting them to work
S1: it out. I don't know how to explain it. Um,
S1: but there's just a lot of drama and it's a
S1: bit over the top because of, like, who they are
S1: and everything, but I really love it. I really it's
S1: kind of like Gossip Girl speak like they're from very
S1: wealthy families and stuff, but not necessarily, like just had
S1: a wealthy family. Well, Magnolia Parks, I think is a
S1: bit of a like it girl from a wealthy family.
S1: But Daisy, it's like the gang lord stuff. So it's
S1: a little bit like rougher background, but they're both very like,
S1: I don't know, I think I just, I think you'd
S1: like it.
S2: I'm excited because, yeah, I haven't gone into a series
S2: for a very long time.
S1: Oh, good. Well, yes, you can borrow my books and, um. Yeah,
S1: it's just one of those ones I can't put down.
S1: And I'm. I'm really excited to just, like, keep reading it.
S1: I'm so excited that there's another two books ahead of me.
S1: I love.
S2: It. Thank you. Steffi, what about you? Okay, so mine
S2: is Dan Kennedy, our amazing master trainer on kick has
S2: his own brand called unify of some products. And I
S2: before New York he gave me the hydrate product. I
S2: love electrolyte or hydrate.
S1: Once you get into things like that it's like hard
S1: to drink water by itself. Yeah.
S2: I'm like, why doesn't it taste like watermelon? Anyway, he
S2: has a watermelon flavor of the hydrate powder that you
S2: put in your drink to help. Essentially, to help you
S2: stay hydrated. It's obviously got a lot of other electrolytes
S2: and minerals in there for you, but it is so delicious.
S2: I can't speak, it is so delicious. It's such a
S2: good product. And I just wanted to give Danny a
S2: shout out. Yeah. Nice. Love it. So if you like,
S2: if you are really into hydrate not hydrolyte hydrate products,
S2: which is like a very big growing category at the moment.
S2: That tastes yummy. Definitely try unify watermelon. Love it.
S1: Well that's it from us today guys, but we will
S1: be back in your ears on Wednesday with an episode
S1: that I think you're going to want to tune into.
S1: We have opened up in the past about both of
S1: our experiences with PMS, but we've also heard you guys
S1: talking in the community, and you've also sent in DMs
S1: in the past about your experience and wanting to know
S1: the things like the difference between PMS, PMDD, and just
S1: kind of what to expect when, why? What's the science
S1: behind it all?
S2: Your body. Right. Like, why do I feel like this?
S2: And why.
S1: Don't we. It annoys me. Is that, like, why don't
S1: we already know a lot of this stuff? Like. But
S1: it's just it is good to have a reminder because unfortunately,
S1: we didn't grow up with a lot of this information.
S1: So we had the incredible Hannah Dower on and she
S1: taught us so much. So I hope you guys enjoy
S1: that as much as we do. As always, we would
S1: love for you to get involved with the Kick Pod
S1: episode and continue our conversation in our Facebook group also.
S1: We'd love your support on our Instagram at Kick Pod.
S1: Come and follow us over there! That's where you can
S1: send in your DMs and get involved with segments, but
S1: we will be in your ears Wednesday by wait.
S2: We're actually not finished just yet. We are going to
S2: take a guess and say that if you listened all
S2: the way to the end of this episode, you might
S2: like Kick pod or at least a little bit.
S1: And if you don't want to wait until the next episode,
S1: then you're in luck, because we have over 300 episodes
S1: that you can go back and listen to.
S2: On Mondays, we catch each other up on our lives.
S1: And every second Wednesday we publish kiekeboe episodes about all
S1: things motherhood.
S2: And then every other Wednesday, we speak with people who
S2: we love and we think you'll love too. Like Zara
S2: and Michelle from the shameless podcast. What if at that point,
S2: someone came and told you in four years you were
S2: going to have a podcast with 50 million downloads?
S3: I would tell you it's unfathomable. That's ridiculous. Because if
S3: I had have had this conversation with myself ten years
S3: ago to be like, these are all the things you'd get,
S3: and these are the downsides, but this is still what
S3: it looks like. I take that any day of the week.
S1: And the co-host of the Imperfect Podcast, Hugh Van Kahlenberg.
S5: Our Life is a series of chapters and seasons, and
S5: what I love about that is every chapter comes to
S5: an end. And I'm not saying every single person just
S5: embraced the hardship that you're going through. But for a
S5: lot of us, the biggest issue we have right now
S5: is we're spending so much energy wishing we were in
S5: a different stage when we should just sit back and go.
S5: There are good parts to this that I will miss eventually.
S2: So to those names and more in whatever app you're
S2: listening to this episode in.