S1: Listener kick pod acknowledges the traditional owners and custodians of
S1: the land in which we're recording this podcast. The Yulico
S1: Woollen clan of the Bunurong, who are part of the
S1: Kulin nation. We pay our respects to our elders, past
S1: and present, and extend our respect to Aboriginal and Torres
S1: Strait Islander peoples today.
S2: Welcome to the Kick Pod.
S1: A dam with your besties on the stuff that matters.
S3: One. Two. Three.
UU: Four. One. Two. Three. Four.
S2: Hello, everyone. Hello. Hello. Wonderful cloud links. Hope you're having
S2: a wonderful day or night wherever, whenever you are listening
S2: to this episode. Now, this one is I mean, I
S2: know we love all of our guests and we say
S2: this a lot, but this one is very, very special.
S2: If you have listened to the pod in the past
S2: couple of months where you've mentioned Harry Garside a few
S2: times on a number of occasions, obviously, especially around the Olympics,
S2: especially around his mindset. So he won gold at the 2000.
S2: Harry Garside I don't know if I even said his
S2: full name yet, so. Harry Garside Yeah, true. That is
S2: that big of a deal. You can just say Harry.
S2: He's a boxer and he won gold at the 2018
S2: Commonwealth Games. He won bronze at the Tokyo Olympics in boxing,
S2: which was the first time in more than 30 years
S2: that Australia had won a medal in the Olympics. In boxing,
S2: he's also just written a book, The Good Fight Boxing,
S2: Ballet and Breaking Stereotypes. Now we have had Harry on
S2: before where and we'll put that episode in the show notes.
S2: It's such a good episode, but we wanted to get
S2: him on after the Olympics and we spoke about everything.
S2: So Harry went to Paris and he had been saying
S2: he's going to be a gold medalist. Like that was
S2: his goal. He'd been working on that, Like literally, he
S2: says in the episode, his whole life to become a
S2: gold medalist at the Olympics, and he got knocked out
S2: in the first round. He then did a video the
S2: day after, around how he was kind of able to
S2: reframe the failure and how he navigated it, and we
S2: wanted to ask, like we asked Harry, some pretty hard
S2: questions in this when I was working with Tracy Grimshaw
S2: on him, but I Harry was very generous in answering
S2: them for us. I think what.
S1: It is, though, is that when you say reframe his failure,
S1: I think he's very clear that he did fail. Right.
S1: And I think that's what people are so have been
S1: so cautious around. I've watched them in interviews with him,
S1: is like, they don't want to make him feel like
S1: he's failed, but he's like, I have like in my
S1: mind for what I set out to do, I have failed.
S1: And he speaks to that in this podcast. And I
S1: found that really good and really refreshing because we do naturally,
S1: like we all have this like fear of failure. We
S1: like want to avoid it And then therefore, if someone
S1: we know or someone close to us has failed, you
S1: don't want to make them feel like they failed. Because.
S1: Because we all hate that feeling. So we try and
S1: fix the issue and like make them feel like they
S1: haven't actually failed. When he's like, no, I just need
S1: to sit in this and it's okay that I've failed
S1: and I love that. And I think he's just such
S1: an incredible role model for so many people out there.
S1: And so I yeah, this this conversation was, was so good. Um,
S1: but we do want to put a trigger warning in
S1: before we get started. We briefly mentioned suicide and suicidal ideation.
S1: So if you or someone you know is struggling, lifeline
S1: is available 24 hours a day on 13, 11, 14.
S2: Harry. Welcome back.
S1: Harry. It sounded like you were going to Harry Potter then.
S2: Yeah, I don't I really did, and I don't know
S2: why I was giving my best. Hermione how did you feel?
S4: I loved it, I love Harry Potter, so I loved it.
S2: No, you are the one and only Harry Garside, who I,
S2: I mean with all due respect to Harry Potter, he's
S2: not actually real anyway, so it doesn't matter. But I
S2: like you better anyway. It's not about comparisons. No it's.
S4: Not.
S2: Let's get into it. We're so excited to have you.
S2: And also to be recording in person in Sydney. It's
S2: very exciting.
S4: Yeah. Grateful to be here. So nice to see you both.
S2: And first of all, congratulations on your book. So exciting.
S4: So wild. I never thought when I left school that
S4: I would be an author, which is pretty crazy. And
S4: I was quite scared. There was a lot of resistance
S4: before I wrote it. And then I was like, oh,
S4: this process is going to be wild. I've always not
S4: really got around journaling. It's just not how I fully
S4: process things. And when I started the process, I just
S4: had this resistance. And then the whole process I actually
S4: really enjoyed. And as soon as I finished, I was like,
S4: to the publicist, this will not be my last. Um,
S4: so I love the process. I thought it was very therapeutic.
S2: Amazing. And your book is called The Good Fight Boxing, ballet,
S2: and Breaking Stereotypes. Writing a book is a very, very,
S2: very large project and incredible. So thank you guys. Amazing.
S2: Now we want to start if it's okay with the Olympics.
S2: How do you actually I was gonna say are you
S2: sick of talking about it? Yeah.
S4: Uh, I don't know. It's so weird. Like, you know
S4: what the human experience is, like, some days you wake
S4: up and you're no dramas, and some days you wake
S4: up and you're not. And today feels like one of
S4: those days where I'm not, but like, I. And I was, like, walking.
S4: I was like, what is actually going on? I always,
S4: I probably asked myself like ten times a day, like,
S4: how are you actually feeling right now? And that will
S4: fleet and change throughout the day as well. But it's yeah, today.
S4: Today's a really interesting one, so I'm not sure. I
S4: also know that I've been doing a book tour for
S4: the last like two weeks. Has it been home? So
S4: it's just been like a lot of talking. Um, yeah,
S4: it's been like a lot of fun. I've met so
S4: many amazing people and I've had a lot of support
S4: as well, which has been cool. But yeah, just, um,
S4: I'm pretty excited. I feel like in that the book
S4: tour haven't really been honoring how I've been feeling. So
S4: I think in that it's just like my body's going, hey,
S4: take care of yourself, mate. So I'm like, once this
S4: is done, I'm probably gonna have a week in Sydney,
S4: which would be really nice with my homies now and
S4: then I'm just going to go to like up the coast,
S4: Lake Jindabyne or somewhere just by myself and just put
S4: the phone away and let's see what comes up. I
S4: don't know, goodness, badness, whatever comes up, comes up.
S2: Do you feel like in coming back and having so
S2: much media after with your book tour, but generally after
S2: the Olympics as well? Have you been able to process
S2: how you feel or do you and is talk because
S2: obviously you've done it's really interesting with interviewing because you've
S2: you go deeper often in interviews than you do, like
S2: in a general conversation because, you know, you have an
S2: hour and it's depending on it obviously depends on the interview,
S2: but a lot of them are quite deep. And you
S2: as a person, you give so much. Have you found
S2: it easier to process things by just because you've had
S2: to talk, as you said, like one week since you've
S2: or two weeks since you've been back? Or do you
S2: feel like there's there's more in there that you need
S2: to find yourself?
S4: Yeah, I feel like it's like, just like any situation
S4: there is good and bad. So I love to talk
S4: and I love to sort of like, navigate how I'm
S4: feeling as it's happening, like as I'm sort of spitting
S4: out my words. I'm like sort of figuring out myself,
S4: like what actually is going on. That's sort of just
S4: how I've always operated. And I feel like the last
S4: two weeks has been like that, but then also as well,
S4: it's like when you're in the public or when you're
S4: doing something like this, even like, I'm not going to like,
S4: fully like break down or like, I don't know, like
S4: that's private, that's sacred for me. That's my space. Right?
S4: So it's like you aren't really honoring yourself completely, but
S4: then it's also like, I know it has been quite
S4: cathartic and therapeutic. It's been it's been nice. And I
S4: have felt a lot of love from a lot of people,
S4: which has been super nice, but also as well as
S4: I said, you can't really fully show like bare your
S4: chest to the world when you're doing stuff like that.
S4: So it's like, I'm quite happy for it to be done.
S4: And then I'm like by myself or around people that
S4: I really love, and I can really sort of bare
S4: my chest a bit more. Um, so I'm excited for that. Yeah.
S2: So can I ask how how you are today, then?
S4: Yeah, I don't know. Like, I couldn't really articulate. It's only.
S4: What's the time? It's like ten, ten, 20. So it's
S4: it's still early in the day. I got up this
S4: morning and I trained, which I always feel better after training. Um,
S4: and then I was just rushing. I hate rushing, I
S4: pride myself on being on time. And I always catering like,
S4: extra time. Like, I woke up 15 minutes early to
S4: a doctor's appointment. Like, it's so frustrating. Um. And I. Yeah,
S4: I just feel. Yeah, I just feel a bit, a
S4: little bit off today, which is. Which is fine too. Like, I,
S4: I've learned to just accept myself and fall and not
S4: try and, like, live up to what I feel like
S4: I need to. But yeah, just aware that I'm. And
S4: I'm like, I could probably give myself answers, but I'm like,
S4: maybe I don't even need to give myself answers on
S4: how I'm feeling, but I'm just like not feeling on today,
S4: which is fine too. Yeah. Yeah.
S2: I think that's so important to acknowledge. I think so
S2: often as well. Like we feel like when we show up,
S2: we have to show up at 100% every single day.
S2: And it's not. And especially I think it's even not
S2: more difficult. It's all relative. But when you are showing
S2: up on a microphone, when there's like thousands of people
S2: or tens of thousands of people listening, and you're not
S2: feeling 100%. It's always that extra difficulty. Hey, it's sort.
S4: Of and as well, I feel like it. I have
S4: felt this when I first got into a little bit
S4: of public like recognition. I felt that sometimes like I
S4: would feel like that and then say, someone comes up
S4: to you on the street, it's like I give them everything, hey,
S4: how you going? Like I'm like. And then in that,
S4: you sort of not honoring exactly how you're feeling. So
S4: then you're like, you're beating yourself up internally, like. Like
S4: you were just so happy to that person. Then you
S4: sort of subtracting from how you really feeling, and then
S4: you're just getting lower and lower and lower, and then
S4: you're still putting on that like massive smile. It's like
S4: a really interesting thing to navigate. Um, but as well,
S4: I feel like over the last 18 months I have
S4: got better at like actually going like, hey, I can,
S4: I could go on say the project or a TV
S4: show now and actually go like, I'm not on today.
S4: I remember the first time I went on the project,
S4: like had one of the worst days I've had in
S4: a long, long time, and I was sitting in my
S4: car before just going like, I don't want to do this.
S4: Like and then I was like, I went on and
S4: I was just like, yeah, like, I'm so happy. Life's good.
S4: And I was just, like, beating myself up after it
S4: as well. But I'm like, I have got the confidence
S4: now that I don't need to do that. Like, I
S4: don't care if this all blows up in my face
S4: and I'm happy with myself and I'm happy with my
S4: life and I don't need it anymore. Yeah, I don't
S4: need people to know my name, I don't care. Like,
S4: I'm happy with where I'm at and I'm happy with
S4: the position I'm in now. And I want to try
S4: and leave the world in a better place. And my
S4: heart's in the right place. But like, I couldn't care
S4: less if I didn't get another opportunity like that.
S2: Mhm.
S1: When you say that and then also even as you
S1: were saying earlier that you like checked in with yourself
S1: like every like ten times a day, you might ask
S1: yourself how you're feeling, all that stuff. You are incredibly self-aware,
S1: something that a lot of people aim to kind of
S1: get to that place where they can truly know what
S1: makes them tick and what necessarily doesn't, and how they're feeling,
S1: and all of that stuff. Have you always been like that,
S1: or has there been something that you've gone through that's
S1: made you really more self-aware and tune into yourself. I
S1: know you said you don't journal, but you do poems
S1: and stuff like that. How long have you had things
S1: like that in your life that's made you just really
S1: tune in with who you are?
S4: I feel like it's like a bit of a, um,
S4: like a snowball. Like it starts quite small. But then
S4: the more it rolls, the bigger it gets. So, like,
S4: I have always been extremely curious and like, always like, um,
S4: compared to, I guess, the people in my life. And
S4: I had two brothers, so it was quite a masculine
S4: environment or male environment, but like I felt a lot
S4: more curious to them. I felt like I would like
S4: I know they would always pick on me for crying
S4: more often, or just being a bit more like softer.
S4: And if you believe in star signs, I am cancer.
S4: I don't know if I believe in them, but it's
S4: like they I think they're a bit more emotional. Um,
S4: and yeah, so I've always been like that. And then
S4: I just think the older I've got and the more
S4: that I've just allowed my true self to like fully
S4: come out, it's like it's been a bit of a snowball,
S4: which just got bigger and bigger. And then it's like
S4: in my head I've probably overcomplicated it too much, like
S4: it's just like it was easier when life was, like, quiet.
S4: I was quite ignorant and not aware. Like it is
S4: easier because you're not asking yourself the questions. You're just
S4: like you think something's going on. You're like, I feel
S4: like you don't even realize how you're feeling. Then you're
S4: sort of navigating through the world, just like on a,
S4: like a moderate, you know, where it's like, I'm super
S4: aware to the point where it's over complicated. Yeah. At times.
S2: And do you mind if I ask you one question
S2: about the Olympics?
S4: Of course. I'm an open book.
S2: Thank you. And at any point, if you're just like, nah,
S2: I'm done with this, you just tell us. Exactly. But
S2: we we actually, after watching your fight and then the
S2: interview that you did after the fight and then the
S2: video that you did the next day, we spoke at
S2: length about that on the podcast, because I think watching
S2: you obviously work, and I think one of the things
S2: I think is the most incredible thing about you, I mean,
S2: there's a lot of them, but the affirmations that you
S2: were doing leading up to the Olympics, is that what
S2: you classified? Is that the right language?
S4: I think so, yeah I've got an idea of what
S4: I call it, but yeah, I know what you're talking about. Okay.
S2: So are you saying, like, I am an Olympian, I
S2: am a gold medal Olympian, etc.? And you were saying
S2: that you weren't only doing that publicly, but sorry, privately
S2: you were. You were posting it on, on social media.
S2: And I think I thought that was incredible because the
S2: thing with and this is where I've and manifestation is
S2: something that I'm like just kind of leaning into now
S2: and understanding a little bit more, but it does for me. Still,
S2: it feels pretty uncomfortable because you have to say the
S2: thing that you're working towards, you have to like make
S2: your your subconscious believe it. You've got to say that
S2: you've done it right. It's not like I am. I
S2: hope I do a good job at the Olympics. It's
S2: like I will do a good job, I do, I have,
S2: I have, yeah, I have done a good job at
S2: the Olympics. And I think to do that publicly with
S2: the knowing that you actually don't know what the outcome
S2: is going to be, is so fucking courageous because you
S2: are telling the world what you want, which I think
S2: it is very rare for anyone to do that like
S2: the things that I want. I honestly like I hardly
S2: ever say them out loud to my husband, like, let
S2: alone on in in a public forum, because then if
S2: I don't get them, no one will know and only
S2: I will know that I have failed you. Then the
S2: fight didn't go your way. It's like, you know, sometimes
S2: in life that happens and it fucking sucks. You had
S2: your interview and you then came back the next day,
S2: and the video that you did, I thought was one
S2: of the most powerful pieces of content I've ever seen
S2: in my entire life, because you were able to completely
S2: reframe it, own how you felt, own how you were
S2: able to. It's it's a kind of re um, oh,
S2: how am I going to say this change your mindset around.
S2: It's not about the outcome, it's the journey and what
S2: you've got out of the journey. And the journey hasn't changed,
S2: even though the outcome wasn't what you desired. And I
S2: thought that was just so powerful. How the fuck did
S2: you do that overnight. Like just incredible. How did it
S2: feel knowing that you told everyone you were going to
S2: win the gold medal, and then it didn't go your way?
S4: Yeah, I think when it comes to that question, it's like,
S4: that's why the post-match interview was so raw, because it
S4: was just like I told the world, it's like, I
S4: know before the last Olympics, like I wasn't expected. I
S4: was probably like there was five boxers on the team.
S4: I was probably fourth or fifth expected to win a medal, right.
S4: So it was right down the bottom. And then I
S4: won a medal. Right. So then the three years post
S4: Tokyo into into Paris, it's like like I went on
S4: this massive journey of like. And then people started, like,
S4: actually believing in me, right? It's like, I feel like
S4: a lot of my life has just been like I've
S4: believed in myself. And then people have kind of like, questioned,
S4: including my parents and people like that, like out of love.
S4: But they have questioned like my directions and things like that.
S4: And it's like I got people to go on the
S4: journey with me because they're like, oh, he's past performances
S4: have shown this like he's a sure thing, right? Almost
S4: a sure thing. And that is embarrassing. Like that was
S4: like baring your chest to the world and like believing
S4: it and then falling on your face like, um, but
S4: I will always do that. Um, probably until I have kids.
S4: But I'll always do that, like set big audacious goals.
S4: I don't know if I will tell them as publicly
S4: as much, but I'll always set big, audacious goals and
S4: tell people that I like, love and admire and, um,
S4: because they will hold you accountable, which I think is
S4: really important. But it's just like, like baring your chest
S4: to the world. And that man in the arena, Theodore
S4: Roosevelt quote, like, man, I love that. Like, you always
S4: get bigger. And like when I set the goal at
S4: the age of seven, when I when I saw Grant
S4: Hackett win in 2004, it's like, I didn't think it's
S4: like there was something in me that kind of believed
S4: I was capable. But it's like I also knew that
S4: I'm like, oh, I don't know. I'm just a boy
S4: from Lilydale. Like, am I actually capable? And just like
S4: through the 20 year journey, I finally believed that I could,
S4: like I actually believed that I deserved to be there
S4: where it's like, I didn't feel like that a lot
S4: in my life. So it's like setting big, audacious goals.
S4: Regardless if they happen. It's like you always shed your
S4: skin and grow into a bigger version of yourself always.
S4: So I'm like, I'll always do that. But publicly some.
S4: I will and some I won't, I think. Yeah.
S1: And you have you've shared so much so publicly which. Again,
S1: so courageous, but also so great for people especially. I
S1: know a big thing for you is like helping young people,
S1: especially if they're wanting to get into boxing and everything
S1: like that. Know that that's a part of the journey.
S1: So it's amazing that you're showing up like that when
S1: because we caught up the other day and I saw
S1: your story when you got home and you had all
S1: the posters, kind of as we were talking about with
S1: the visualization of winning gold, you had all these posters
S1: in your room and you were talking on your stories
S1: about how it felt to like, be pulling that down
S1: and like just seeing your room again since coming home.
S1: And you said to me the other day that your
S1: housemate asked if you wanted him to take them down
S1: for you before you got home, but you felt like
S1: you needed to do that. How did that feel going
S1: back into your room and having to do that? And
S1: why did you choose to do it yourself instead of
S1: him doing it for you?
S4: I think you need to. Yeah, you really need to
S4: feel the emotion of failure. Like, I love that. Like,
S4: really feel it. Um, of course we can try and
S4: sort of disguise ourselves like, I'm. I'm an addict. It
S4: runs in my family, and I've had it my whole life.
S4: And I guess addiction just stems from like, a place of, like,
S4: trying to distract yourself from uneasy feelings. Right? And I'm like,
S4: I don't want to do that anymore. I want to
S4: try and break. I want to be the circuit breaker,
S4: I want to. So it's like any opportunity I can to, like,
S4: feel the misery or feel the suffering in that moment.
S4: It's like, I want to feel it. And I wanted
S4: to walk into my room and just go like, hey,
S4: you didn't like you didn't succeed. Like you failed like
S4: and feel that. And people always go, oh, you didn't fail.
S4: I was like, no, no, no, I did. I'm a
S4: high performing athlete. Like like I did fail and I'm
S4: okay with that. My definition of a failure for, for
S4: for me is probably different to other people. And like
S4: I'm okay with that. I can look at myself in
S4: the mirror and be like, hey, you failed. Like, and
S4: that's fine. Like, it's so fine. Like to, like, get
S4: back up when you choose to. I need to sit
S4: in the mud for a bit, get back up and
S4: set another goal and try your hardest to achieve that one. Yeah,
S4: that's mine. And I just.
S2: Think for so many people and I'm sure you know this,
S2: but for so many people that were able to see
S2: you be so open with your goal and then fail,
S2: not achieve the goal that you were hoping for. The
S2: I think, theme and even in myself, like the amount
S2: of fear that got rid of in me because I
S2: was like, hang on, here's someone at like the peak
S2: of their career going to one of the biggest like platforms,
S2: the Olympics stages in the whole world, right? And not
S2: getting the outcome. Maybe if I try something and fail it,
S2: it's not actually because I think so often we think like,
S2: what's the worst that can happen? And that like for you,
S2: I would say that's probably the thing that you didn't
S2: want to happen the most, right? And it happened. And
S2: you're obviously I know like when I say you're okay,
S2: like there's I don't say that lightly. I know there's
S2: so much that you will be working through, but you've
S2: shown so many people that it is okay, that if
S2: you give it a go and you give it everything
S2: and everyone knows about it and it doesn't go your way,
S2: it is okay and you'll still get back up.
S4: I always think that's huge. It's massive. And I always
S4: think like like, yeah, like the society we live in
S4: like celebrates winners, which I think isn't a bad thing either.
S4: Like we all want to strive to be better, right.
S4: And it's like if we all just got okay with losing,
S4: then it's like, would it really be competition? Would we
S4: really be taking risks if like, we didn't feel embarrassment
S4: or feel the suffering of failure? Like, I think it
S4: is important to feel that. But it's just like for me,
S4: the position that I've got to now, it's like I'll
S4: always set massive, big, audacious goals and it's like, it's like,
S4: even if I don't achieve them, though, it's like I'm
S4: going to try my hardest. And that's really important because
S4: I'm super competitive. But it's just like I will inevitably
S4: get into a better version of myself by setting that goal, right.
S4: And that's way more important. It's like by getting and
S4: shedding my skin and growing bigger and bigger. And just like,
S4: eventually you're as big as the Jack and the Beanstalk.
S4: Was that giant and that like, you mean I want
S4: to be like that? That's where I want to get to. And. Like,
S4: I think big goals make that. It's like if you
S4: don't set a goal, it's just like you'll just stay
S4: where you are and that's fine. But like, that's your choice, right?
S4: And set a big goal and try and achieve it.
S4: And if you don't, that's fine. But you got bigger,
S4: you got better. And then maybe next time you will.
S2: And do you think then if you went back, would
S2: you still go to the Paris Olympics?
S4: Oh, that's a good question. Uh, yeah. Yeah I would yeah,
S4: I would, I um yeah, I think I got something
S4: out of the 20 year journey that I don't know if.
S4: If I didn't go to Paris, I don't know if
S4: I would have got to that position where it's like
S4: I sat down the day after and was like, hey,
S4: I'm actually, like, kind to myself now, you know, it was,
S4: you know, it's weird. And I don't think I've said
S4: this publicly, but I've definitely told a few people close
S4: to me. It's like I made deals with myself. This
S4: is how intense I was. I made deals with myself
S4: before the Commonwealth Games and before the last Olympics that
S4: if I didn't get success, I'd kill myself. It's like,
S4: and I don't know if I actually would, but it's
S4: like that is the ultimatum that I that I made
S4: with myself. That's how much it meant to me. And
S4: it's like before this preparation, I was like, there's no
S4: chance I'm setting that again. There is no chance I'm
S4: way better than that. My life is way more important
S4: than that. And I like built this. A lot of
S4: people in sports psychology say like, be more positive to yourself.
S4: And it's like, I was more positive to myself and
S4: I wasn't as strict on myself, and it didn't mean
S4: as much to me as my life. Right? But then
S4: I didn't get success. But I in that it's like
S4: I would I'm happy with the position I'm in, but
S4: it's like, I don't think I would have got there
S4: anyway if I didn't have all this, like, intensity of
S4: like a Olympic bronze medal and Commonwealth Games gold. So
S4: I feel like I had to go on that journey
S4: to get to the position I'm in now. Mhm.
S2: Oh it's just incredible that and I'm so sorry that
S2: you had those thoughts in your head first of all.
S2: But I think in you building like being able to
S2: move away from that and rebuild that relationship with yourself,
S2: like it's obviously the most important relationship that we have
S2: in our lives. And I think for everyone listening right now,
S2: if you want to try something and you're scared of
S2: failure like we have, like Harry in your story, you
S2: failed very, very, very publicly. And that I think we
S2: so often think, I can't try this because this the
S2: worst case scenario could happen. Now, maybe it wasn't the
S2: worst case scenario would happen for you, but I'm sure
S2: that it was. Yeah, for sure it was the worst
S2: case scenario, right?
S4: That actually fight to someone who I was supposed like
S4: supposed to be quite comfortably. Yeah.
S2: So that happened and you would do it again. And
S2: I just think for everyone like let that absorb into
S2: you because you it's not it's obviously success is like
S2: it's important. Right. It's I'm not saying that it's not
S2: for you. Winning wasn't important. But what you got out
S2: of that journey and so many people do not try
S2: things because they are like, I, I'm going to fail.
S2: The worst case scenario could happen. I just think there's
S2: so much power in you sitting here saying the worst
S2: case scenario happened and you do it in a public
S2: forum and you would do it again, that's pretty incredible.
S4: Yeah, and I always think, like, I woke up the
S4: next day, I was like, the world keeps spinning. Yeah,
S4: it's like the world stops for no one. It's like
S4: you can sit here and feel sorry for yourself and
S4: be sad. Um, which is like, important, right? It is
S4: important to, like. I don't feel sad. It's like, important to, like,
S4: actually go far out. That didn't go how I wanted, right?
S4: It's just like part of it. But I just had
S4: like that reflection. I think I say it in the video,
S4: but I was like, uh, I was like eating a cookie.
S4: And I just, like, had all these, like, weird things,
S4: like boxing me make weight. So I hadn't had any, like,
S4: bad food for a long time. I was just like
S4: eating this cookie. And I was just like, man, there's
S4: people in the world that are starving. Like there's war
S4: going on. There's like genuine suffering. Right? And here I
S4: am complaining that I lost the match. Oh poor me.
S4: It's like, man, get over it. Yeah. And it was
S4: like a nice little internal battle. Yes. Maybe I'm being
S4: too hard on myself, but it's also like I'm here
S4: eating a cookie in the Olympic Village. Like I wanted
S4: a 20 year journey trying to search for this. I
S4: was a little kid who was, like, small, weak, incapable.
S4: And then I grew into a strong, capable, better version
S4: of myself throughout 20 years.
S3: It's amazing One, two, three.
S1: When we caught up the other day, something that you'd
S1: said was that when you think that you went through
S1: this like 6 or 7 years ago, you would have
S1: dealt with it very differently. And I'd mentioned that we
S1: just on the pod, actually, we've had a conversation with Alexis,
S1: which is coming out soon, and it was all about purpose.
S1: And one of the examples that she used in not
S1: attaching a goal that you have, like a big, gigantic
S1: goal to your your purpose and your self-worth. Um, she
S1: used athletes as an example because, you know, you have
S1: this your eyes set on something and whether or not
S1: you succeed in it, like even if you did get
S1: the gold medal, it's kind of like this. Like what
S1: next and where to go from next? If it is
S1: your all and everything, you have so much going for
S1: you and so much that if anyone that follows you
S1: online would know that means a lot to you outside
S1: of boxing. And we were talking about this the other day,
S1: but I'd love to hear it from you. What do
S1: you think? That that's part of the reason why maybe
S1: you're dealing with this failure better than you might have
S1: in the past. Because it's boxing means the world to you.
S1: But there is also still so much that you bring
S1: to the table.
S4: Yeah, that's yeah, it's a really good point because I think, um,
S4: for like most of my life, my whole identity was
S4: consumed with that of only being a boxer. So it's
S4: like when I won, I won. Yeah, that's me. Right.
S4: And then when I lost, I lost, um, and I
S4: can think of like, a memory. So 2020, just before
S4: Covid hit, I was in Melbourne. That's where I was based.
S4: And I failed to make the Tokyo Olympics twice overseas
S4: in Jordan. And I come back and it was like
S4: March 2020. So right into Covid, like right into lockdown
S4: and like that next six months were like the worst
S4: six months of my life. I was like making decisions
S4: to like, really ram myself and hurt myself and was
S4: just in a terrible place. And to think about the
S4: decisions I'm making now compared to them. I think it
S4: is because I have separated myself like I I'm happy
S4: with myself and I. Of course, there's some days you
S4: wake up and you're like, you look in the mirror,
S4: you're like, oh, man, I don't like, like you. You
S4: don't like who's looking back? But that's very rare. It's like,
S4: more often than not, I have a good relationship with myself,
S4: and I like that. Um, but it's like to think
S4: about 2020, and now it's like, that's growth. And it's like,
S4: that's evidence right there that you're actually doing the work,
S4: which is nice. Yeah.
S2: Have you worked through what your purpose is?
S4: Oh yeah. Like you can have like a generic answer
S4: for this. I don't fully know. I think I'm quite
S4: obsessed with like self-growth and experience and, um, I think
S4: leaving the world in a better place than what I
S4: found it, but I'm like, I don't fully know. Yeah,
S4: I'm not sure. Yeah.
S1: And that's okay as well. Like, that was something. I mean,
S1: even when we had Alexis on, I feel like in
S1: real time I was working it out for myself. Um,
S1: but I just think that there's so much in that,
S1: that that realization that you are a boxer, but it's
S1: not your whole and that there is so much else
S1: that you do. You do genuinely. You're changing the world
S1: in what you share. Outside of boxing, as well. Um,
S1: and to really kind of own that and embrace that,
S1: I think is amazing.
S4: It's a really interesting thing because I find myself and
S4: I hate that I do it. It's very frustrating, but
S4: it's like you meet someone for the first time or
S4: you're like, what do you do for work? And I'm like,
S4: I don't like that. I very much attach their identity
S4: to what they do. Like I and I'm trying to
S4: get better at it, but it's just such a, like
S4: a social thing, right?
S2: You're conditioned to ask that question. Like after we ask
S2: someone's name.
S4: Yeah. Yeah. It's a really interesting thing. And I'm trying
S4: to get better at like, but like what's a I,
S4: we can brainstorm it right now but like what's a question.
S4: Like what. Who are you. Yeah. Like what lights you up.
S4: I don't know, like what actually gives you, like, what
S4: gives you passion. It's like a bit weird if you
S4: ask someone that in the elevator, right? I don't know.
S4: I don't know. But.
S2: And then I think for some people, like, some people's
S2: careers are tied closer to their identity than others. And like,
S2: I think that's also. That's okay.
S4: Yeah.
S2: Because I think I sometimes put pressure on myself to like,
S2: never ask that question and then like, never say what
S2: I do. But I'm like, actually, no, my career, like,
S2: is so important to me. So if I'm going to
S2: put that as a part of my identity and part
S2: of not all of. Yeah. Like that's also okay.
S1: Totally.
S4: Yeah.
S2: What are you. So have you worked through. Obviously. I
S2: know you're so fresh off the Olympics, and you're going
S2: to have some time now, and you've just come back
S2: into this book with this press tour. Have you already
S2: set your next goal, or are you giving yourself space
S2: and time to kind of work through that?
S4: Uh, yeah, definitely space and time. I yeah, I'm not
S4: too sure what it is. And I'm. Yeah, I'm just
S4: aware that I'm like, I'm not tied to anyone. I
S4: think after my first Olympics Tokyo, like, I feel like
S4: my identity was still boxer. So it's like I walked
S4: into professional boxing. I was like, well, I'm going to like,
S4: this is me. But it's like, now it's like, I
S4: love to fight and I love boxing. It's the best.
S4: But I'm like, I don't. I will never be a
S4: pawn in someone else's game. I'm always the master of
S4: my fate and the king of my reality. So it's like,
S4: I'm like, I don't need boxing. I do it because
S4: I love it and I've never needed it. Yeah, yeah.
S2: I love that. And we wanted to ask you as
S2: well about We spoke about this last time, but you're
S2: still doing it, which is just incredible. The uncomfortable challenges
S2: and the one that you're doing at the moment is
S2: living below the line. Can you talk about that? And
S2: then maybe for people that we're going to put the
S2: first episode we did with you in the show notes,
S2: but can you just give a little bit of info
S2: on why you started doing this? And also the fact
S2: that how long? How long have you been doing it
S2: for now?
S4: Yeah, this is the 68th month in a row. Wow. Yeah.
S4: Five and a half years. Yeah.
S1: So impressive.
S4: Yeah. So it's been, um. So I originally started for
S4: an Olympic gold medal, um, just after the Commonwealth Games
S4: in 2018. And, like, I just think, like, if you
S4: want to grow as an athlete, that's why I started.
S4: It's like, go to the places you feel most uncomfortable.
S4: So I started small, like the first few ones were
S4: like having a hard conversation with your family or like,
S4: telling someone something you've never told before, which is quite hard, right?
S4: They're not small, but it's like, I guess the big
S4: shit because I've been doing for so long. It's like
S4: that has got bigger, right? Yeah. Um, and some have
S4: been even still like deep in like my 50s. Some
S4: of them were quite easy, but like I have watched,
S4: I'm like a different person from which is inevitable. It's
S4: five years ago and I'm in my like formative years. Um,
S4: but it's like crazy to think how much I have
S4: taken from this. And I remember waking up, it was
S4: like I got back in Australia, and I'm thinking, I
S4: haven't decided on an uncomfortable challenge for this month. And
S4: I'm thinking I started it for an Olympic gold medal.
S4: I didn't get one. I'm like, oh, screw this. Like
S4: I was like, obviously quite negative. I was like, screw this.
S4: And I was like, no, this has been like the
S4: best thing. I've like really enjoyed it. It's been a
S4: lot of fun. It's been very hard. But it's like
S4: each month I've got to think of an idea. It
S4: brings enjoyment to my life. I've got to like, be
S4: creative sometimes, like I've done like an improv class or
S4: I'm like, like, that's fun. Or I started ballet or like,
S4: had some hard conversations or run 100 KS on Bondi
S4: Beach on the sand, like some are hard, some are physical.
S4: But like each one I've learnt something from and this
S4: month is is a bloody hard one. Like cost of
S4: living crisis is wild and to live under the poverty
S4: line on the website that I found, it's like $489
S4: a week for a single person. And then you go
S4: to minus, like your rent bills. You mean it'll be
S4: roughly like 200 bucks? You'd imagine, depending on where you're living, right?
S4: I'm sure for many people it's a lot more than $200. But.
S4: And then you've got to like, I was living off
S4: 250 bucks a week, $35 a day, and I'm like
S4: five days in. And it has just been like each day.
S4: It's so hard to be so conscious of that. Like
S4: $35 a week is wild, like $35 a day. So
S4: it's wild. It's so wild. If you want to like,
S4: transport fuel, move around like buy food. Oh, it's just
S4: it's been it's wild, but a big eye opener that
S4: I take a lot of little things for granted. Mhm.
S1: Oh I think it's, I think it's amazing and I
S1: think it's incredible that you're doing it. And as you
S1: said an eye opener I'm sure for a lot of people,
S1: a lot of people and I think it's so, so important. Um,
S1: but I think what you're doing with the challenge, as
S1: you said, I think this goes back to you appreciating
S1: the journey to get to the gold, like being able
S1: to come back and realize that there's been so much
S1: you've been getting out of the journey, regardless of the outcome,
S1: and that's why you're going to continue on with stuff
S1: like this is amazing in itself. Um, so we want
S1: to we could talk to you for hours, but I
S1: think what we've touched on already, something that you do
S1: do and you do also share, which is also really beautiful,
S1: is write poems. And I think it's so sweet that
S1: you share it because it is, I'm sure, something that
S1: you do for yourself. Um, but I'm sure when you
S1: do share it, there's plenty of people who slide in
S1: and be like, wow, this really spoke to me. So
S1: it's so beautiful. But we wanted to share one that
S1: you wrote called Inner Shine, if you don't mind, which
S1: is in the chapter The Power of Positivity. Do you mind?
S1: Do you want to read it out?
S4: Actually? Yeah. You go me your reading is better than
S4: my mind.
S1: No. Okay. But this is you. Okay. But okay, I'll
S1: do it. Okay. I won't stop until you were mine. Failure.
S1: My friend, I thank you. I have unlocked my inner
S1: shine inside me. A gold mine. I can feel you
S1: touching my chest. I won't stop until you are mine.
S1: For years I thought I wasn't divine. Fuck that. I
S1: have unlocked my inner shine. 15 years on this uphill climb.
S1: No looking back now. I won't stop until you are mine.
S1: I will never be a sheep and stand in line.
S1: I know and understand too much. I have unlocked my
S1: inner shine to all the role models in my life.
S1: Positive and negative. Thank you. I won't stop until it's mine.
S1: I have unlocked my inner shine. Can you tell us
S1: about it?
S4: That was a that was really. Yeah. That was uncomfortable
S4: to listen to that. Um, yeah, that was I that
S4: was one of my first poems. I was like, in
S4: the first six months of writing. Yeah. And it's like,
S4: I think that format I was playing around with formats.
S4: I don't really know the formats of poetry. And I
S4: think that's a sonnet maybe. I don't know, it's like
S4: a quite a long one, but I was like, you
S4: have to follow a certain format. So so like classifies
S4: as that type of poem. And um, yeah, that one
S4: is really interesting. It's so interesting that I wrote that
S4: back in 2021. And to think about where I was,
S4: it's like, I think there's something inside of you always
S4: wanting to come out right. It's like maybe when I
S4: wrote that I was having a really good day and
S4: I'm like, yeah, this is like, this is part of
S4: this is me. And it's like, it feels like I'm
S4: that most of the time now, which is nice, uh,
S4: where it's like back then I think I would have
S4: that maybe one day a week where it's like now
S4: it's like five days a week, which is nice. Really nice,
S4: if not more. Yeah.
S2: Was that a written about a gold medal?
S4: Yeah, yeah.
S2: Could you do you feel anything when you hear those
S2: words that it's not actually about the medal?
S4: Um, yeah. I guess I can like the position I'm
S4: in now. Yeah, I can see that. But when I
S4: wrote that, it's like a very much like I'm like,
S4: I felt I needed that. Like, I think there's another
S4: poem in the book. It's about like, my whole identity
S4: was consumed with that of only being a boxer. Like
S4: I Every like every win was just me. It was
S4: my identity. It was me. Like, every time you go
S4: to somewhere, it's like they're talking about your boxing. It's
S4: just like, that's you. Um, where it's like, I don't
S4: feel like that anymore. Which is, I guess, a good
S4: position to be in. Yeah.
S2: And could could it also be about the relationship with yourself?
S4: Yeah. That's. I'm actually going to do it. It's so
S4: funny because I'm actually going to do I plan on it,
S4: a poetry book where it's like, I don't know, 100
S4: of my favorite poems. And then I don't know, because
S4: the best thing about poetry is like, it is so subjective.
S4: Someone would read. Someone would read that and get a
S4: different meaning. It's like a what's a horoscope? It's like
S4: you read it and you get the meaning. You make
S4: the meaning of it. And I, I actually wanted to
S4: state that at the side of the book that you
S4: create the meaning you want from it, but I also
S4: want to explain what I mean by it. Like this
S4: is my meaning of it, but it's like I understand
S4: that people's meaning is different. Um, so yeah, that's my
S4: plan with my second book. Oh. That's amazing.
S1: Yeah, I love that.
S2: Yeah. And I just feel like, I mean, I saw you, like,
S2: in this conversation. Your body language has been the same throughout. Like,
S2: you've really like, leaned in on the table and you're
S2: sitting comfortably. And as soon as Steph started reading, you
S2: looked over to the side and like, swung your chair around,
S2: which you haven't. So I could feel that you felt
S2: uncomfortable there, but it's just as I was listening to that,
S2: I was like, it's just so because I had assumed
S2: it was written about the medal. But you've actually done that,
S2: all of that, but with the relationship with yourself, you
S2: made me cry. But it's just it's yeah, it's pretty.
S2: It's it's so special.
S4: You reckon it's like the longest relationship we ever have.
S4: And I think it's so hard in the world we
S4: live in. Like, um, the world is seemingly. It seems
S4: like it's against us, but it's like it's up to us,
S4: especially in Australia. Like a lot of us are so lucky, like,
S4: compared comparatively to the rest of the world. And it's
S4: like if we want a better relationship for our kids
S4: in the future or our grandkids or the, you know,
S4: it's like it's up to us now to realise that
S4: in the society we live in, it's up to us
S4: and pull back and like, actually take back a little
S4: bit of control of our life.
S2: Mm, I love that. Thank you. Harry as always, it
S2: has been a pleasure to have you on the podcast.
S2: Thank you for taking the time. We know you just
S2: had so like so much press, so we really appreciate it.
S4: Always good to talk. Thanks guys.
S2: Thank you so much for listening. We hope you enjoyed
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