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S3: Ahoy to me! Boner. Hey, hey! Rock solid and at
S3: your service, my friend. And Jack. Ahoy to me! Tight balls. Jack. No, no, no, you're,
S3: of course, all parts of a porn star. No. Uh.
S3: And the fact that you've gone down that that route. Ham,
S3: make you nervous when I introduce Jack. Because. Ahoy to me, slicer. Jack. Wow.
S3: What sort of animal is this? Yes. Do you know
S3: what we're doing? Boners and slices. Are we butchers? You're
S3: a butcher? Yeah butcher, butchers or a. Yes, a terrible,
S3: a terrible sex robot. One setting. Very pleasurable. The other one.
S3: The other. Run for your life. I don't even know
S3: why they have this second setting. Yes. Why would it
S3: ever unsheathe and reveal the blade? We shouldn't have a slicer. Uh, also,
S3: ahoy to Josh from Iowa.
S4: Ahoy, Jack! Hamish. Andy. This is Joe from Iowa. Sitting
S4: here filling out my VIP form.
S3: By a river.
S4: And I'd never heard of WhatsApp until listening to your show.
S4: And I was wondering if it must be a pretty
S4: big sponsor for as much as you mentioned it. Anyway,
S4: I had no trouble uploading this. Thanks and keep up
S4: the good work, Joe.
S3: 011 for Andy. Andy obviously hired some sort of, like,
S3: audio cameo. That no one's buying that for a second.
S3: There's a civilian cameo where you can get endorsements for testimonials,
S3: testimonials for your own positions, your own products. Not a
S3: bad idea, actually. It's actually a really good idea. It's
S3: like a realistic bot. Yeah. Yeah, sure. What's my name? Josh. Yeah. Great.
S3: And what do I approve of? The upload system? Sure.
S3: And what do I hate? WhatsApp. Yeah. Easy. Got it.
S3: Joe was his name. Uh. Uh, Haim, uh, we've been
S3: here from Dave that says I'm very good with names. Oh, hi,
S3: I'm Jenny, it's Dave here. And I've always thought Hamish
S3: is great with names. Um. Um, uh, I'm. I wanted
S3: the top of the show because you have the floor.
S3: We've been sent something gentle and something for all of us. Wow.
S3: It has been a while since we asked for the
S3: naming rights for our shirts and jackets. It's been a
S3: long time. Long time? You mean back when we used
S3: to wear tracksuits and stuff? Yeah, we had tracksuits for
S3: a while, and then Makita came in with a strong play.
S3: Would you agree that we went? We went hard with
S3: Makita for a while. We had Makita, we had the hoodies,
S3: the XLT x something, the battery system, Makita hoodies. Jack,
S3: did you ever wear yours? Well, you didn't, did you? No,
S3: I didn't.
S5: But you know how we got some free tools from Makita?
S5: Do you reckon I could go? I need my chainsaw sharpened.
S5: Is that something that they would do? Or give me?
S5: Maybe give me a new.
S3: Who actually did to DeWalt? You picked?
S5: Yes, but defected to DeWalt. Don't you remember? I weaseled
S5: after the show and went emailed the guy personally. Who
S5: can keep track of you?
S3: Did you? We discussed this. He went DeWalt. He missed out.
S3: He then backed back and thin back the thick, thin
S3: pack pack from DeWalt. He then backed Chanelled to Eliza
S3: and said can you please give me the contact? So
S3: I do want to hit up Makita. Oh, he knows
S3: no bounds.
S5: No. And you know I'm still halfway waiting for you
S5: to give me Calloway's contact. Because I was trying to
S5: backchannel them from the golf clubs. Okay.
S3: Anyway, can I just tell you it's not about the sender? But. Yeah,
S3: Jack was like, during when we were chatting about the
S3: golf clubs. Jack sends me a text going, was that.
S3: Do you seriously have Calloway's contact? Because if you're not
S3: going with them, I'd be interested. You don't even play? No,
S3: but I might.
S5: I might if I had three clubs, I might.
S3: I think I reckon, Jack, you've got. Unbelievable. I mean,
S3: this I say this with love. I think you've got
S3: to have more faith in your career. Because do you get.
S3: I get the feeling that you think it's all about
S3: to end. And that's why you're weaseling so hard.
S5: Jack, you're one of the best.
S3: Yeah, I think I honestly think that's where it comes from.
S3: Like you're one of the best you'll be around in
S3: ten years. You don't have to cram all your weaseling
S3: into one week. Thank you.
S5: Okay.
S3: So can I get. Have to go. If anyone's got
S3: 500 cans of peaches, I'll take them now, because this.
S3: The party might stop now. Any SPC? If you're listening,
S3: we don't want 500 kids. Eventually, Jack will have em. Hey, Jack. First.
S3: First thing comes in your head. Right now you want
S3: something for free? Go. What's the company? What do you want?
S5: Callaway golf club.
S3: You didn't even know you wanted golf.
S5: I do, I do think about it now.
S3: Think about your life right now. Life. State of life.
S3: What do you need right now? Go.
S5: Uh. New car.
S3: He's on. The price is right. You have a new car?
S5: I know, I just tried to think of the most
S5: expensive thing. No, I am being weaselly here, and I
S5: don't want to be rude.
S3: But you come so naturally. The. But you have such
S3: a silky pelt. Okay. Okay. Jack, we've got your teeth there.
S5: I was chewing. Sorry. I was chewing gum before the
S5: episode started. And then I stopped chewing, so I just
S5: squished it in between my gum and my lip.
S3: I've got to make a call to. I was eating licorice, too,
S3: so apologies if for any, for any of the web videos.
S3: I've got licorice. Sorry.
S5: Andy's got something for us and we keep rolling.
S3: I look across at Jack and, you know, there's been
S3: certain members in our team in the past that have
S3: had their teeth done right, and it's been a gradual thing.
S3: And we've discussed whether to say it or not. But
S3: I was looking across at Jack and his teeth are
S3: like half bright white. And I was like, maybe he's
S3: halfway a deal. He's two. He's two. Two Facebook plugs
S3: short of getting the other half whitened. Hey, we accidentally
S3: became a place where power tool companies felt like they
S3: needed to come to us to give us things, even
S3: though really, none of us use tools much at all.
S3: See for yourself, mate. We've enjoyed it, but that we.
S3: It did become a battleground. This show for no reason
S3: for power tool superiority. And we can't resist it because
S3: there's something inside us as guys that wants power tools.
S3: Even if we're not handy. Yes. And guess what? There's
S3: a company we'd never mentioned in the power tools realm
S3: that have sent a big box. Before you say who
S3: it is, I think they're one of the best. That's
S3: why I wasn't mentioning them. They're too good to mention
S3: in the company of the others. Bosch. Bosch. Bosch. Bosch. Bosch. Yes,
S3: I know that. I've got one of those. That's the
S3: heated jacket. As far as wearing things, this is a heated. Hoodie, jacket.
S5: And you already have one. Hamish. I actually.
S3: I think I went through another channel and it landed.
S3: I saw it the other week. Well, they've sent us
S3: one for all, obviously hoping that we would wear them.
S3: I mean, we are inside a heated studio, but this
S3: comes with its own little USB charger out the back
S3: of it. And you I mean, you don't have to
S3: plug yourself in and stay plugged in. I assume it
S3: charges the battery. Yeah. And then and then you get
S3: yourself a heated jacket with a heated jacket on.
S5: I know, like, we.
S3: Can wear electric.
S5: Blanket to and from the studio. We wouldn't wear it
S5: in here because it's too warm. What do you.
S3: Think this is, the NBA playoffs. You've got walk in
S3: gear for when you turn up. Hop out of the bus, Jack.
S3: Coming through. Coming through. Underneath. Oh he's in the boss jacket.
S3: So there you go. It's got three heat levels. Yep. Um, outstanding.
S3: It can tumble dry machine, wash it, and it's got
S3: a printable backside. So apparently they're saying you can print
S3: your own company, I suppose, on the back. Interesting. Hadn't
S3: read that bit. What? I haven't unboxed mine andoh what
S3: are what are we? How exactly does the USB charging work?
S3: Does it give you 12 hours? It does give you
S3: is there a battery pack on board? Like how does
S3: that work? Doesn't say it on the box. It just
S3: I would I would assume it's got a 12. It's
S3: got a 12 volt. Oh hang on you can put
S3: batteries in it as well. Yeah. Because I assume you'd
S3: have to run some battery to keep the trickle, but
S3: that would be.
S5: Annoying if a big, heavy battery is hanging off the
S5: back of the coat.
S3: I'm not sure if it's. I don't think it's not
S3: hanging off the back, Jack. They've designed it better than that.
S3: It probably has its own pocket.
S5: Well, it should be. It should be a very large,
S5: thin battery that goes over the whole back so you
S5: hardly notice it. That's how I would do it.
S3: Okay, standby. I'm opening it up. Open it up. So
S3: you're like what? Like a bulletproof vest plate? Yes. Yeah.
S3: On your back. Oh, you've got, like, a battery clip.
S3: And that clips onto your. That'll be the battery that
S3: runs it. Because it'd need a sizable battery to keep
S3: the warmth going. Clips onto your belt. Yeah, I think so. Mhm.
S5: Mhm. Bit cumbersome.
S3: I should have warned you Bosch. You have delivered a
S3: present to a den of picky weasels. Yeah. From what
S3: I can gather, I think we belt mounted heat back.
S3: It's a belt. It's a belt mount. Look, in Bosch's defense,
S3: this is the problem. My brother in law also named Andy. Um,
S3: and I share a fascination, constant and ongoing fascination with
S3: where jetpack technology is up to. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah.
S3: So once every few weeks, we'll be sending each other a.
S3: Have you seen this guy? Have you seen this guy?
S3: This guy is essentially flying his own. You know, he's
S3: made a giant drone that he's sitting in. What about
S3: this guy? And the hard thing for a lot of these,
S3: like mini drones that you can fly around that look
S3: like the little DJI ones, but you sit in it
S3: is just the weight of the batteries. The battery weighs heavy,
S3: so and you face a similar problem with the heated
S3: jacket I think. Where do we put the battery to
S3: keep you snug without annoying you with too much belt weight?
S3: I haven't, I obviously haven't read it through, but it
S3: seems to me I mean, look, that looks like a
S3: belt attachment, doesn't it? I mean, it looks it's as
S3: big as a small cordless drill battery. Yeah. So I
S3: think you have to clip that onto your belt. Would
S3: you be better off having two battery packs in your boots? Um,
S3: and it comes with special heavy boots that you walk
S3: around in. Right.
S5: Because I know you're running from your boot up to
S5: your jacket.
S3: Well, that's going to have to be what happens, Jack.
S3: You put your boots on first, slide your pants over that.
S3: Your jackets.
S5: I've got I've got shoulder pads. Because sometimes you bulk
S5: out shoulder pads anyway with a bit of extra padding.
S5: Making batteries. Okay. One in each side. Backup.
S3: Okay. Not bad, not bad. I wouldn't know who is who.
S3: Your dad. Ronan Keating. Yes. He wore his BlackBerry on
S3: his belt. You're right. He's used to wearing a utility belt. Yeah.
S3: He used. He came in and had his phone clipped
S3: with a with a with a belt. He actually threw
S3: it out after we teased him about it relentlessly on
S3: the show, but. Well, he critically questioned it. Do, um.
S3: I think I'd prefer two battery packs like a Western
S3: gunslinger rather than one. So it just felt a bit
S3: more even. Or would they ever make? Probably not. Because,
S3: you know, there's obviously security concerns for this. Especially if
S3: you want to take it to the footy. But do
S3: you make gun shaped batteries? So if you're going to
S3: be wearing a holster, might as well feel like a cool.
S3: Might as well look cool while you're doing it. And
S3: people think you're a detective. Solar panel cap not enough charge.
S3: Nowhere near enough charge. It would need to be a
S3: sort of a ten meter. Yeah, and.
S5: If you're getting a lot of sun, then you're pretty
S5: warm anyway.
S3: You're not wearing the jacket. That's true. But what about this?
S3: What about a solar? No, I was going to say,
S3: you make a singlet out of solar panels that you
S3: wear during the summer months to charge up the battery,
S3: and then you have a battery that charges it up.
S3: Then during autumn, you unhook your singlet and you put
S3: on the jacket that you've charged up over the summer. Yeah, yeah.
S3: So it is, it is there is great benefit to
S3: that being carbon neutral, but it does not solve our
S3: cumbersome problem. No. Some suggestions for Bosch. I guess at
S3: this stage, I mean, Jack, would you want one still?
S5: I would still, because I might wear it as a
S5: normal jacket without the heating application. Okay.
S3: Yeah. You would. I will absolutely take it on. You would?
S3: All right, guys, moment of honesty here. We each of
S3: us have both our own families, but also the in-laws. Yes.
S3: I'm going to ask you a question. I'll give you
S3: a few moments if you need to think of it,
S3: because I actually have the answer. It happened to me
S3: on the weekend. Um, what is the greatest crime you
S3: have committed? In the eyes of the in-laws. Oh, I thought.
S3: I thought I was about to blurt out one that
S3: they didn't know. Damn it! We can play that as
S3: a bonus round. Let's do yours. Your your crime at
S3: the end. I'll tell you what mine is. We go
S3: to visit, um, Gerty and Dave in the country on
S3: the weekend. Zoe's parents go inside, you know. Great. They've
S3: got chickens and a veggie patch and stuff, so it's
S3: all lots of fun. When we get there, the kids
S3: are off getting eggs from the chicken. We're getting veggie
S3: stuff for lunch day. Zoe's dad's off taking the kids
S3: to the chickens. I'm inside with Zoe's mum, and, uh,
S3: there's like. It's a beautiful, like, old cottage y, kind
S3: of like little house, like the kitchen and the the table.
S3: Everything's jammed into one room. I go to sit down
S3: at the table. Really? Only seats about four in the kitchen.
S3: I go to sit down and. goody. No no no no.
S3: Don't sit there. You've broken two of those chairs. And
S3: I went, have I? I do, I remember. I remember
S3: one breaking. No no, no. You're too big for those chairs.
S3: We've got the got the stool. We've got the stool,
S3: the stool, the stool for you. Wow. Right. Okay. I
S3: said I thought, Levi. I tried to blame those brothers.
S3: I think I think Levi broke it. No, no. He
S3: sat on it first, but then you sat on it.
S3: You broke the back. That's okay, that's okay. But they're
S3: not cheap, and they're actually collectors. I said right. Well,
S3: do you want. I mean, I could organise. Sorry. I
S3: didn't know that they were that badly damaged. I said
S3: I could get them fixed. No. They're downstairs. We put
S3: them away, and it's a shame they're not. They're not?
S3: They're not cheap, but. Oh, well, they're gone. Like, you know,
S3: they're from the 70s. They're these nice wooden kitchen table chairs. Right? Yeah. Anyway,
S3: when Dave comes, Dave comes back in from the eggs.
S3: I go as a test, I go, Dave, why don't
S3: you take the stool and I'll sit there pointing to
S3: one of them? He goes, no, you've broken two of them.
S3: I was like, okay, well, I know what's being discussed
S3: when I'm not here. Yeah, very clearly on my record.
S3: And it won't be moved. Like breaking a kitchen table
S3: chair is yours. Big crime in that house. I don't
S3: have one as specific as that, really. But I am
S3: not allowed to pick the restaurant anymore for their family
S3: because they take their food so seriously. You had a
S3: swing and a miss, and I had a swing and
S3: a miss. And I've never been forgiven. What didn't have
S3: the right wines didn't mean I was like, what'd you pick? Well,
S3: I just went for, like, a puppy type thing. Yeah.
S3: And no, a pub. A pub is what you mean.
S3: If they're getting together, they they prefer they just take
S3: their food. They just they just they want an experience.
S3: It doesn't really have to be fine dining. They just
S3: want something. A good restaurant. Yeah. Something unique. Different thought about.
S3: Not just something that they can say to their friends. Oh,
S3: you know, we went to O'Malley's. Yeah. The pub? No,
S3: the Turkish restaurant. Oh, good. Yeah, cos the pub's ordinary,
S3: so I think that's where it sits for me. So you. Yes. Okay.
S3: I've just come to. I'm not allowed in when it
S3: comes to any type of food discussions. It's. They bypass
S3: me and tell us exactly where we're going. That's a joke.
S3: Do you have one? What's on your list?
S5: My mother in law never shies away from exaggeration, and
S5: she'll often use the phrase worst thing in the world
S5: that you can do. So, like an example would be. Jack,
S5: just so you know, the worst thing in the world
S5: you can do is leave your clothes on the bedroom floor.
S3: So she obviously thinks that you've done that a few times.
S3: So you have a list.
S5: She's seen like she's seen me leave clothes on the
S5: floor and then she's gone. Just so you know, the worst,
S5: worst thing you can do. And the reason, and she'll
S5: even go as far as to say, is the reason
S5: that mine and Giancarlo's marriage has lasted so long is
S5: he doesn't leave clothes on the floor.
S3: So he's got a two pronged way of selling it
S3: in just to go. These are you. This is such
S3: a heinous crime. And we wouldn't be here.
S5: Your life and your wife's life.
S3: When you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for adherence
S3: to the rules. When you're going out with someone and
S3: they're your partner. And long term relationships are marriage. You
S3: are in a long term, permanent job interview with their parents.
S3: Like it just never changes. And it's rare that you
S3: get one up on your boss. But I have you
S3: got one up on experience. I do, I've got one up.
S3: If anyone was going to do it, I well I
S3: felt for it for him because Lee um, is Beck's
S3: dad and as you guys know, a friend of mine
S3: passed away recently. So Beck walked into the house and said,
S3: you know, Andy's fragile. I didn't know he said that
S3: Lee thinks I'm hungover, so I so I walk in,
S3: he goes, ooh, a bit fragile. We good? And you?
S3: You would have just been letting the line go out.
S3: Let the line go out before I reel this one in.
S3: And he'd gone and got a prop, and he's like,
S3: gonna offer you one of these and a beer. And
S3: he said, can I offer you one of these? Oh,
S3: hair of the dog is a bit fragile. We did
S3: a little bit of, like, cry Face and I said, yeah, sorry.
S3: You're a friend of mine. Passed away during the week.
S3: I've never seen someone get stopped in his tracks. So,
S3: as you said, Ham. Lovely. It was a great moment
S3: for me. Incredible. And I'll tell you what. We are
S3: going to the pub this Friday. I'm picking it. Up.
S3: And I'm. It's been a while since we've done this,
S3: but let's jump back into some power moves. That never.
S3: Volume one and two. Still available now. And volume two.
S3: Back end available. People should have those that they pre-ordered
S3: at Hamish. Com of our power moves books heading out
S3: to them as we speak. No house is complete without
S3: a power moves book adds severe value to your house
S3: if you're here, if you're trying to sell it at
S3: the moment. Yeah, I wouldn't put your house on the
S3: market with that one. And also, I know housing affordability
S3: is a big issue at the moment. If you walk
S3: into a house that's perhaps open for inspection or apartment
S3: or something, and they have a power moves book in
S3: there and you're like, all right, well, what are we
S3: talking here realistically to the agent? And they go, you know,
S3: 7 to 750. What about without the book? Yeah exactly.
S3: Mid five, mid five soft fives. Exactly. So you keep
S3: that in your sleep as well. Yeah. And so can
S3: we can I, I got to check this one with
S3: you because it's a golf power move. So still being
S3: fresh to golf I don't know if these are power
S3: moves or not actually. Sorry I did have something to
S3: bring up with you about golf. This is unrelated to
S3: power moves, but, um, you know how you were saying
S3: that you could give someone a detention on the golf
S3: course if their shirt was untucked? You can't give them
S3: a detention. But some people will report people, right? Yeah.
S3: And you can get kicked out of a club, some clubs.
S3: It's ridiculous. But if the shirt's untucked and that blew,
S3: this will blow your mind. A guy at our club,
S3: a friend of his, didn't rake the bunker.
S5: Like, which is the sand?
S3: After you play your shot, you're to rake it again.
S3: Didn't rake it. And they banned the guy, not his friend.
S3: Because the friend was the guest. They banned the guy
S3: for a month. For a month because his friend didn't
S3: rake for gardening. Yeah, well, I. Speaking of bans. So
S3: I was I think I was on, um, I was
S3: looking at Jimmy Fallon's Instagram. Yep. Or it could have been.
S3: It was he was playing golf with Justin Timberlake. Yep.
S3: It might have been Justin Timberlake's Instagram. Yeah. They were mucking.
S3: There's a whole bunch of them. And it looked like
S3: they were having a great day out there mucking around
S3: and running around celebrating something. And a few of them
S3: had their shirt untucked. So I just I don't know
S3: if I, if I needed to refer that to you. Yeah.
S3: So you can give them a detention. I'll take that
S3: for us. first cause that you remember when we played
S3: with Justin Timberlake? We did. Um, we you and I
S3: were arguing over who to rake the bunker. Yeah, because
S3: you said you weren't going to rake it, and I said,
S3: you're my caddy. You have to. And then he raked
S3: it and said, take care of the coarse, and the
S3: coarse will take care of you. Like, whoa, that was
S3: you were like Bagger Vance. Yeah. Why is golf with Timberlake? Um, anyway,
S3: so this is a power move. Okay, so you're just
S3: about to tee off. That means hit the first shot, Jack. Um,
S3: and there's a group ahead of you in the middle
S3: of the fairway. So I do know enough about this
S3: that you'd be like, okay, you have to wait for
S3: those guys to pick your ball up, but then suggest
S3: to your playing partner that they'll be okay to tee off.
S3: Is that good? Yeah, it's a really good one from here. Okay.
S3: Indicating that they're no threat. They're no threat. But you
S3: would be. They can't hear it far enough. Here you go, Jack.
S3: You won't get to them. That kind of thing. That's good.
S3: Good fun. I like it. This one's from Heather Ham. Um.
S3: She said it's a bit of a specific scenario, but
S3: that's fine. We like those. We love them. So if
S3: your husband, wife or flatmate is doing some cooking or
S3: baking and have run out of a specific ingredient and
S3: they've asked you to go and grab it for them,
S3: that happens late. Does she said, go and buy. Go
S3: and don't buy the said ingredient, but go and buy
S3: the ready made version of whatever they're cooking. It's really good. Um,
S3: I'm not sure if we've had this one before. This
S3: I would put this under classic. This is from Michael. Um,
S3: I got a power move that beats all of them.
S3: Definitely an arsehole. Move when you're at the beach and
S3: you're eating fish and chips and you're full, and you
S3: maybe have a few chips left as you get up
S3: to leave, sprinkle them around. People sitting nearby enjoying their
S3: day or having a romantic moment so they are swarmed
S3: by a flock of seagulls. I don't think we've had it.
S3: It's good, I like it, it's good. Aaron sends this
S3: in Ahoy. You're an asshole, pal. Move when you see
S3: someone getting into an elevator. Payoff is better if they're
S3: flustered and in a rush. Yell out, can you hold
S3: that elevator for me? When they do, just walk past it,
S3: ignore them, and keep walking. It's not bad. Thanks for
S3: holding it up. I like I like this one. I mean, it,
S3: it would. It would have worked in my family growing up. Um,
S3: it's from Stephanie. It's one of those things that this
S3: always happened at my grandparents place. So she goes, look,
S3: when my husband and I leave my parents place, they
S3: always come outside and they wave goodbye from the front porch.
S3: My grandparents always did that to us, as my parents
S3: still do that to me. So it's just like they
S3: you're in the car, they begin the wave, and they
S3: don't stop the wave until you're out of view. Right?
S3: So I think if you have one of these families,
S3: this is the time to do it. So the other night,
S3: we decided we'd sit in the driveway, keeping them standing there. Waving.
S3: And my husband and I just made small talk and
S3: we stayed there. They kept waving. We kept talking. Eventually
S3: they did decide to go inside when we had a
S3: good giggle. Oh, great. War of attrition. Hi, I'm Jack.
S3: The saying is honesty is the best policy. Hmm. How
S3: much do we subscribe to that? I mean, it's in the.
S3: It's certainly one of the policies you can select from.
S3: Always read the PBS, though, and decide if this policy
S3: is correct for you. I'm going to throw a scenario
S3: at you, and I'd like you both to come back
S3: with a verdict of whether honesty is the best policy. Okay.
S3: Beck smashed her car into the garage door. Right. Very unlucky.
S3: Lucky because as she was reversing from the inside. Yes.
S5: Right. We've still got a dent in our car from
S5: when we house sat. By the way, at your place,
S5: coming out of your driveway. It's tight.
S3: But this is. This is the door itself. You know how. Remember, Jackie,
S3: you would have had difficulty turning the wheel because you're
S3: wearing Andy's jumper, which would have been a bit tight
S3: on you. Yeah, for people who don't remember Jack. How
S3: separate wore my clothes as well. It's very strange.
S5: Outer garments. I didn't wear anything that touches the skin.
S3: You weren't a double to stop assassins. You were just
S3: a friend. Jack thought he was a scarecrow. I've got
S3: to dress like Andy to keep the crows away. We're overseas.
S3: I get a text and saying, is your garage door
S3: meant to be open? And Jack's left it and left
S3: it open. Gone away for the weekend. Left the whole
S3: house open. Anyway, Beck has, you know, the garage door. Well,
S3: you know how aerials in cars. For a long time,
S3: it was about getting as high as possible. Now they're
S3: very sleek, and they kind of look like shark's fin. Yeah.
S3: the timing was as such as the garage door was
S3: going down. As she's reversing that, it's taken the Finn.
S3: It's just pulled the Finn and then ripped her shark's
S3: fin aerial off and left. Can I just ask? Sorry.
S3: She opened the garage door. She's begun reversing it, and
S3: she began to close as she was going. Well, yeah,
S3: it's closing down on her. Who was closing it? Well,
S3: that's why honesty mightn't be the best policy. You were close.
S5: You love efficiency so much that you were even a second.
S3: You were trying to make it like Indiana Jones. She
S3: was getting under the door that fast. You were trying
S3: to be that efficient? No.
S5: No extra breeze allowed.
S3: Let me get the facts out, please. We've got him.
S3: We've absolutely got him. So it's taken off her shark
S3: fin and peeled back. I didn't realise, but you know
S3: how when you're opening a tin of tuna, you kind
S3: of clip the thing and it peels back? Peeled the
S3: roof off. It peeled the roof off. No it didn't.
S3: So she's got a. How much of the roof? Around about.
S3: What's that about? A VB can worth of hole in
S3: the roof. It can peeled back. Yeah. And you could
S3: just see straight. Really? Yeah. You could just see straight
S3: into her back seat. Wow. So they really glue those
S3: shark fins on? Yes. So I what had happened was
S3: I had gone. We were in tandem garage. She was
S3: backing out. Her car out. I was sitting in my
S3: car waiting for her to get out so I could go,
S3: I think. I don't know, I think my natural reflex
S3: was to get in my car and I hit the
S3: garage buzzer. Yep. That's what you do. She'd already put
S3: it up. And so I get in, hit it because
S3: of natural reflex. And I'd sent it back down. And
S3: as she's going out she it was made the biggest sound.
S3: And and there's the door. Is the door wrecked? The
S3: door is still working. So I'm fine with that. And
S3: and but yes. It didn't bother you. The the dent
S3: is bothering me a little bit. But yes, Beck now
S3: has a hole in a roof. It's in the shop
S3: and it's three month wait, right. So she said, we've
S3: got to have a look at this garage door. I
S3: think it keeps going down accidentally. Oh, yeah.
S5: She's giving you the lie on a on a silver platter.
S3: I didn't say no. It's not. I went, yeah, well,
S3: you'd have to. Yeah. Um, but I didn't say, like,
S3: I didn't say no. It was me. But I didn't
S3: agree that it was her. I just went, yeah. So
S3: we should. It sounds like there's a ghost in the machine. Yeah, well,
S3: that would be a lie, but. Yeah. Okay. Now, all
S3: jokes aside, you definitely did do it. I don't know
S3: whether I did it. This is like those press conferences, like, hey,
S3: it was a white powder. I don't know what the
S3: powder is. I don't recall. I mean, it could have
S3: been anything. Yes. Uh, all we know is there was
S3: two kilograms of a white powder hidden in the bottom
S3: of the suitcase. Now, beyond that, we don't know what
S3: the powder was exactly. So the facts are that you're not.
S3: You couldn't say 100% that you've done that. No. Which
S3: thankfully casts you with some some sort of innocence. But
S3: what my my question to you here now, as talking
S3: as mates would be. What would be the point of
S3: you admitting this? Well, the point would be because Beck goes,
S3: I always do silly things like this, which she actually
S3: does have a track record of being clumsy. But either way,
S3: the two options here are there's a ghost in the
S3: machine or you did it. She's off the hook. There's
S3: no one's thinking. She's done a silly thing. Exactly. So,
S3: are we saying it's not the best policy?
S5: Blame it on the ghost because it's a victimless crime. Yeah,
S5: that's the ghost. He doesn't feel anything.
S3: Who doesn't love a skate ghost? I reckon I think,
S3: I think it's skate ghost is the way to go here. Because,
S3: like you said, you're not sure? No. It could have
S3: been a ghost. It could have been a ghost. So
S3: I think it would be the smart thing to do
S3: to get the guy to come out, to have a
S3: look at it. Yeah, see what he can do, see
S3: what he can do. And he look, odds are he's
S3: going to go. Seems to be working fine. Well, I
S3: guess I'll go to ghost in the machine and then
S3: you'll go. Well, does it sometimes just receive a double signal?
S3: Is it possible that she sent the signal? It travelled
S3: to the sensor, but also the signal travelled out the door,
S3: bounced off something and came back in and hit the
S3: sensor twice. Is that possible? You know, crazy things happen
S3: with technology. Yeah, I mean, all all it has to
S3: be is not impossible. Yeah. And that's probably what did happen.
S3: Thank you guys. Appreciate. It. All right fellas I bring
S3: to you a special skill, um, for your perusal, for
S3: your analysis because it can potentially get them in or
S3: this is potentially to get someone to come on the show.
S3: It pertains, um, because it's about something that I'm not
S3: even really sure. I think I understand what it is,
S3: but you guys are a little bit more. Well, you're
S3: not more musical than me, but you did more theory,
S3: I suppose is okay. Yeah, I certainly feel it better. But,
S3: you know, you did the facts. You read the books more, right?
S3: You've watched the Docos and stuff? Yeah. Better at music? Well,
S3: just the theory side. Let's be honest. Um, this comes
S3: in from a young lady who is messaging on behalf
S3: of her boyfriend. Okay. She claims he can. And now
S3: I'll read from the email melodically chomp any monophonic melody
S3: from a song he knows. Um. What? What does that mean?
S3: What does.
S5: Monophonic mean? Just. Just the same note. Yeah.
S3: So I think so. He can jump. So I think
S3: he has big teeth, right? Um, he, he's claim this
S3: is a quote from him. Some people can chomp, but
S3: they don't have the resonance chamber for it like I do.
S3: Dan Sugars 2022. So he's saying he can like he
S3: can chomp his teeth together, um, to create the beat
S3: or the tune of a song. Yeah. So he tune. Yeah.
S3: Like he'd be going, you know, if it was jingle Bells.
S3: Chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp. I hope it's better
S3: than that. Well, it's not going. He's chomping with his teeth.
S3: He's not saying chomp. I know, but that's that's the
S3: extent of it being better. It's a slightly different sound.
S3: So you try, you do Jingle Bells with your teeth.
S3: But I imagine he wants something like it's not like
S3: without food. He's got probably got a capsicum or something. That's. No,
S3: he's clanging his teeth together. That's what he's doing. So
S3: he goes. I have to say, it's a pretty special skill.
S3: He does have pretty massive teeth to create the skill with.
S3: Not big enough to be in a freak show. Don't
S3: think we do those anymore, but big enough that that
S3: people would say this guy has big teeth. Right. Okay, sure.
S3: Is this the secret for his chomping? She writes. Nobody knows.
S3: So he's. I think he's sort of talking about he's
S3: got the right shaped head. Can we chat to him?
S3: Can we chat to him? Yeah, we've got Dan. We've
S3: got Dan sugars up. I've got the jumper. This is Dan.
S3: This has got the jumper Dan. Oh.
S5: Hello boys.
S6: How are you going.
S3: Oh how are you. Dan how big are your teeth?
S3: Are they Freddie Mercury?
S6: Oh, um, look, you know, I haven't compared them side
S6: by side, so I can't really confirm or deny that,
S6: but I'm holding. I actually do have a tape measure
S6: right next to me here. I don't know why, but
S6: don't ask me why. But anyway, I could probably do
S6: a little bit of a.
S3: So you do know that we're not allowed to ask you?
S3: It sounded like, you know, you were just measuring whether
S3: this body will fit in this bin or something. And
S3: so we're not allowed to ask you why the measuring tape,
S3: but something like that. Yeah. Are you near a mirror?
S3: Could you could you hold up the tape and tell
S3: us how wide say you're you're going two front teeth width. Yeah.
S3: Two front teeth width.
S6: Okay. All right. Let me just try. And I have
S6: never actually done this before.
S3: Not a lot of people have. I think dentists probably
S3: don't use the tape measure. I mean, let's have a look.
S6: I have been quoted to say before that this is
S6: my retirement fund, because I make a nice ivory piano
S6: out of them, but. Right. Let's have a look. So
S6: I'd say you just just shot the two front teeth together. Yeah.
S6: Width is, if I'm reading it right, it's probably like, uh,
S6: an inch and just under an inch. Sorry. Like, probably.
S6: That's big.
S3: What is it? I'm just sitting here going. What number
S3: can you say that will truly weigh 50cm? So you're
S3: saying 2.5cm, is it?
S6: Oh, no no no it's not. It's probably about two
S6: centimeters I reckon.
S3: I reckon that's big.
S6: That's right. Yeah. A bit bigger than two. Yeah. Not
S6: quite two and a half, but.
S3: Well I mean, this is, these are good numbers. They, um.
S3: But as we all know, um, just, uh, just good numbers.
S3: Doesn't make a champion racehorse. You do need to. You
S3: need other factors. Do we? Indeed. Is it? Have we
S3: got it correct when we're saying so you pick a
S3: song and it's you slamming your mouth, shut your teeth
S3: shut with no food in between, just to chomp, just
S3: just tooth on tooth percussion, uh, to replicate the song.
S6: Yeah. So there was a I was listening to you
S6: guys just talk before, and I was a bit concerned when, um,
S6: Andy said it better be more impressive than that because, um,
S6: maybe it's not, but hopefully it is if I can
S6: explain it. If I can explain it. Yeah. So, um. Yeah,
S6: there's no food involved. It's literally just chomping my teeth together.
S6: But the chomping, I suppose if you just like when
S6: you clap your hands, it obviously creates a sound. Yeah.
S6: That resonates. So the the chomping of the teeth in
S6: combination with my mouth obviously provides a, I can shape
S6: my mouth or my lips. I don't know exactly what's
S6: going on there, but I can shape it to make
S6: a particular note. Now, that's not particularly that That's special
S6: because people can. I'm sure that you could probably, as
S6: you were saying, Jingle Bells. You could probably chomp that
S6: out and maybe pretend like you're singing and sort of
S6: get the tune. But I what I think defines my
S6: special skill is that acoustically, you say you're across a
S6: boardroom table or at the other end of a room,
S6: you would be able to hear me easily doing that
S6: as opposed to someone else. You would have to be
S6: like ASMR style next to their ear or their mouth
S6: kind of thing.
S3: I think I think if I were in the boardroom,
S3: I would be inclined to say, Mr. Sugar's your presentation, please.
S3: You'd be.
S6: It happens more often than you think. Actually, this is
S6: all very.
S3: This is impressive, Mr. Sugars, but we must ask you
S3: for the June quarter numbers. Chop chop, chop chop. Mr. sugars,
S3: are you stalling? So. Okay. It's. It's about. it's volume. Yes,
S3: it's an impressive volume. Yep. So why? And then. And
S3: then you must be able to position your mouth and
S3: lips to amplify the chomp in a certain manner.
S6: I think I guess it's like, you know, I used
S6: to say when I used to do this in high school,
S6: a lot more that I should get sponsored by some
S6: kind of milk company. Why? Because, you know, slamming my
S6: teeth together and, you know, look, they don't break kind
S6: of scenario.
S3: Oh, okay.
S6: Calcium. Yeah. I suppose that comes down to the. I
S6: guess I was thinking about this the other day. I
S6: suppose my teeth are like the strings on a guitar,
S6: and my mouth is the body of the guitar, so
S6: it's like you hit the strings harder or the teeth.
S6: You slam them down harder. That obviously helps generate the resonance. Uh,
S6: with my mouth. And.
S3: But it's one singular note, isn't it, Dan?
S6: Oh, no. So. Well, monophonic means that I can't. I'm not.
S6: I can't play chords with my teeth. Like.
S3: Yet.
S6: I mean, I guess there's time I could, you know,
S6: but no, I can't like, um. Yeah, it's just one
S6: single note at a time. So think about, like.
S3: It could be a range of notes, but just. Oh
S3: of course.
S6: Yeah. No.
S3: Whereabouts do you live, then? It's like he's in. He's
S3: in Brisbane. We've got to get him down. I don't
S3: want to hear it over the phone. Him. I want
S3: to be. I want to be at the opposite end
S3: of a board room. No one knows, I reckon. I
S3: reckon the excitement is such that. No, you're right. We've
S3: got to be in a board room. You and I
S3: have to wear suits for it. We have to be like,
S3: please come in. Um, what's a good song for you
S3: to do? What? Yeah. I mean, what would you like
S3: to perform?
S6: Well, I guess I can prepare a repertoire if you wish.
S3: Oh, wow. A megamix, like, all mixed together. Like when
S3: Delta Goodrem has, like, a spot at the lake or something. Or.
S6: Exactly. Yeah, I could, I could do a medley. Yeah,
S6: I could do a medley or something, but I guess,
S6: you know, is it one of those situations of that if,
S6: if I do have a special skill that my girlfriend
S6: claims that I do. You should be able to recognize
S6: I should be able to chomp a song that you
S6: don't know and hopefully you recognize.
S3: That's it. That's it. I think that's that's exactly it, Dan.
S3: What we'll do is we'll wear suits, we'll call you
S3: and we'll say, hey, do you have those projections for us?
S3: You you start chomping the song and if we go,
S3: wait a sec, is that stairway to Heaven? Then. Then
S3: we've forgotten about the projections, and you've won yourself. The coin. Yeah,
S3: just one song. Okay. Let's go. Three songs. Three songs.
S3: I think because I got a feeling it's going to
S3: be good. And I want to. Yeah, I want to
S3: enjoy the. I want to enjoy the concert. Yeah. Um. Okay.
S3: Cheapest available flight coming your way, Dan. Um, and we'll
S3: organize to get you to Melbourne. Uh, a quick smart,
S3: because we absolutely want to see this. Cheers, buddy. Great.
S6: I look forward to it. Jump on. I look forward
S6: to the business meeting.
S3: Thanks, mate. I'm Hamish. Com if anyone wants to email
S3: us or fill out the valid and important podcast to form.
S3: We're about special skills, etc. like teeth chomping we've just
S3: heard from. Outstanding. Look forward to testing him. Um, you
S3: can go there and email. Someone said they've got a
S3: great person for. Tell us someone we haven't thought of
S3: for a while and they'd like us to play. Feels
S3: about the right time of the year to play it,
S3: doesn't it? Middle of the year. If you've not heard
S3: this game before, you have to tell us someone that
S3: is a public figure or is sort of has some
S3: level of notoriety that Andy and I can honestly say
S3: we haven't thought of this year. Yeah, if you can
S3: achieve that, you win a choice of hats. Which hats?
S3: Whatever we have at hand. You got those hats. Dutch deals.
S3: So people might remember I was talking about the Dutch
S3: food only website a few weeks ago. Dutch deals heard
S3: me mentioning them. I can't remember something. It was something like,
S3: you know, I bought some mini pancakes and poffertjes mix
S3: and pancake mix, which was about 30 bucks. And the
S3: thing came up and said, if you spend another like
S3: 185 more, you will get a hat. And I didn't,
S3: and it was a baseball style hat, so it wasn't
S3: even a baseball hat. Like, don't use it for baseball.
S3: It might not hold up on the field, but it's
S3: certainly of that style. They have sent in, um, three
S3: Dutch hats. Well, they'll be in the mix when we play.
S3: Tell us something. Someone we haven't thought of for a while. Uh,
S3: that'll be in the next, what, few weeks? We'll do that.
S3: So do go to the website. I mean, people, you
S3: can tell from the show now, the quality of email
S3: is just going up and up and up. I don't
S3: want that to stop people emailing in. It's more of
S3: a thank you. Yeah. For the for the people that
S3: are taking the time. Also the remembering project, that's where
S3: you and I look back at all the shows we've
S3: done over all the years and try to remember what happened,
S3: particularly in the early years, 2006 and seven, etc. it's up.
S3: It's on the listener app exclusively at the moment, but
S3: it'll be out and available for everybody in a couple
S3: of months time. But you can go and download the
S3: listener app for free right now and grab it. One
S3: thing that never made the show, but people may know
S3: of if they listen to the remembering project is Mike
S3: multi-platform Mike multi multimedia. Mike he's in charge of saying
S3: the date. Yes. So we picked this one day. It
S3: might be, you know, the 5th of April. It shouldn't
S3: be too hard. But in Mike's defense there's pressure. Yeah
S3: there's pressure because it's sort of like there's a gap
S3: and it's like you go, Mike, you're on. This is
S3: what went down. When in recent weeks when Mike had
S3: to try and just say the date.
S7: It's the 6th of September.
S3: Go again on that one. You just a little off.
S3: Oh sorry. Okay, I forgot we used to do this
S3: last year.
S7: It's the six of September.
S3: Oh. Put his big boy voice on.
S7: It's a tough one because it's. I don't think.
S3: You're saying sixth yet. You say September 6th.
S7: But I've done all the other ones this way.
S3: So just just for once, I'm going to blow anyone's mind.
S3: We still know the date.
S7: Oh.
S3: You're you're you're forgetting that. Yeah.
S7: It's the sixth. sick, right? No, sorry. Sorry. You got this?
S7: It's the sixth of. No, I can't say it now. Okay,
S7: now sing bad romance. No, it's the 6th of September.
S3: Yeah. So you're just saying six? Six. It's the 6th
S3: of September. It's the sixth. We need a. Do you
S3: want us to record a separately?
S7: No, I'll do it. It's the 6th of September.
S3: It's too.
S7: Pronounced. It is, but it's good. It's the 6th of September. Yeah,
S7: that was great. Yeah.
S3: So there you go. When you hear that one coming up,
S3: you don't realise the amount of work that goes into it.
S3: 6th of September, four days to record each episode. So
S3: you know that they're super high quality. We'll catch you
S3: next week, everyone.
S2: Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return
S2: next week. Catch up or contribute at Hamish and Andy. Com.
S1: Listener.