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Speaker 1: When a man says what do you bring to the table, women,

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Speaker 1: especially a certain type of woman, finds it disrespectful. She

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Speaker 1: assumes negative intentions instead of trying to understand what is

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Speaker 1: he asking you?

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Speaker 2: A single man, you got this platform, you got all

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Speaker 2: these choices of women.

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Speaker 3: You're the problem. Why aren't you married?

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Speaker 1: And my part of the problem, absolutely, Rob, while you're

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Speaker 1: part of the problem because I'm crazy, I'm picky, I

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Speaker 1: am special, ain't nothing like me and I don't work normal.

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Speaker 1: But the truth is, I think that marriage is a

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Speaker 1: legal contract, and I'm looking for a business partner as

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Speaker 1: much as I'm looking for a beautiful woman, a sex partner,

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Speaker 1: a friend, somebody who I can confide in, and all

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Speaker 1: those things are great. At the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: if we can't negotiate the terms of this deal, I'm

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Speaker 1: not signing a contract.

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Speaker 3: So the deal that you want, Rob.

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Speaker 1: I want a good teammate. I want a good business partner,

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Speaker 1: not just in theory, but in practice as the character

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Speaker 1: that I believe is a good partner to what I

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Speaker 1: think I bring to the marriage deal. Welcome to a

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Speaker 1: Diffuture WIFEI podcast. My homie Rob Howard is in the building.

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Speaker 1: What's the building.

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Speaker 3: What's going on?

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Speaker 1: Bro? When I think about a marriage, I don't have

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Speaker 1: a problem loving, I don't have a problem serving.

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Speaker 3: I don't have a problem committing.

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Speaker 1: All the things that a person might say on that

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Speaker 1: side of the deal, like, hey, this is what I'm

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Speaker 1: looking for.

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Speaker 3: Cool? What are you willing to do?

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Speaker 1: Because it sounds like you're committed to ring wedding title,

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Speaker 1: my job. Ye, a good charlatan will try to enter

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Speaker 1: into a deal without any scope of work or responsibility.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely. Have you ever been close to marriage? Man? So close?

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Speaker 1: I thought I was gonna be the first hommy in

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Speaker 1: the group to get married, and I'm the last on

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Speaker 1: me on the downiest that.

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Speaker 3: You try to fight for.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't want to fight for nothing. I'm not

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Speaker 1: trying to fight with I'm not trying to fight towards

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Speaker 1: all of these terms.

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Speaker 3: Brothers.

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Speaker 1: Okay, let's talk about anything that you respecting your life

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Speaker 1: and value? You be fighting for your health? Do you

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Speaker 1: be fighting for yourselfation? Do you give up too soon?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I see it coming. There's science. You don't get mad.

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Speaker 1: If if God whispering your it's over, I don't be

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Speaker 1: like what no, oh knowing God?

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Speaker 2: If you've met the person that you desire to marry,

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Speaker 2: and you like, I cannot live without this woman.

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Speaker 3: How long will it take you to marriage?

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Speaker 1: The Dear Future WiFi podcast has global impact from Texas.

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Speaker 1: I have been on this journey of healing and self discovery,

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Speaker 1: and this podcast has been a vital part of my process.

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Speaker 1: God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,

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Speaker 1: founding authentic spirituality.

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Speaker 3: California.

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Speaker 1: I learned so much as a single man through your podcast,

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Speaker 1: and continue to learn so much as now a married

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Speaker 1: man Nigeria.

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Speaker 3: This is just therapy for me. You know, I've been healed,

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Speaker 3: I've been strengthen in my convictions on the sto to

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Speaker 3: do single hoopitsa.

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Speaker 1: Amsterdam way that you've shown us how it is possible

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Speaker 1: for a man to be as intentional as you are

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Speaker 1: New Jersey.

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Speaker 3: I appreciate your vulnerability.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate just being able to see that there is

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Speaker 1: life after divorce.

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Speaker 3: To New York, I am a single woman, so these

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Speaker 3: episodes really give me hope and courage that God does

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Speaker 3: have a husband for me.

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Speaker 1: Discover, uncover and recover love. I'm latera Saar Whitfield and

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Speaker 1: this is season ten of the Dear Future WiFi Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to a diff Future Wifie podcast. I'm your host

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Speaker 2: latera Sar Whitfield. Listen, are you still shacking up with us?

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Speaker 2: If you're still shacking up with us, can we get

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Speaker 2: a commitment? Hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure

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Speaker 2: you're telling your notification bells you'll be notified about upcoming episodes.

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Speaker 1: Hey, listen, I got a book. I got a book

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Speaker 1: that's coming.

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Speaker 2: Out, Student of Love, and I think everybody needs to

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Speaker 2: purchase this book.

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Speaker 3: Let's drive these pre orders up.

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Speaker 2: And the reason why I say this book is so

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Speaker 2: powerful is that it doesn't just deal with romantic relationships,

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Speaker 2: but all relationships.

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Speaker 3: It teaches us how to.

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Speaker 1: Love better, love our family better, love our friends better,

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Speaker 1: and even love strangers better. And we actually unlearn and

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Speaker 1: relearn what love really is.

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Speaker 2: Powerful, powerful book. Matter of fact, some of y'all may

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Speaker 2: know Rachel. Rachel is one of the She was my

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Speaker 2: ghostwriter as I was writing this book, and she was

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Speaker 2: arguing with me about some things in the book.

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Speaker 3: She said, I don't agree with this. I don't agree

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Speaker 3: with that. I said, Rachel, was the last time you've

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Speaker 3: been on to day? She told me it's been years.

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Speaker 3: I said, Okay, now, just listen to the principles, the

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Speaker 3: principles in this book, and let's see if it changes.

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Speaker 1: Man.

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Speaker 2: That girl got married before I did, got married in July,

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Speaker 2: and we had this conversation earlier part of this year,

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Speaker 2: and so powerful, powerful testimony of it. Matter of fact,

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Speaker 2: watched the trailer right now. I was married, cheated, blocked

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Speaker 2: out of marriage.

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Speaker 1: These eyes have seen the pain of failure but also

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Speaker 1: the possibility of redemption. These years have heard the lies

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Speaker 1: you'll never change, but they've also caught the whisper of truth.

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Speaker 1: But Terris, you can learn love on the level you've

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Speaker 1: never known. This finger once carried a vow I wasn't

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Speaker 1: ready to honor. Today is empty, but it's unashamed. It's

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Speaker 1: waiting under covenant. I'll protect with wisdom. I'm no expert.

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Speaker 1: I'm just a fellow student. I've sat in Love's classroom,

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Speaker 1: even spend time with detention.

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Speaker 3: But now I live with intention.

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Speaker 1: That's why I wrote Student of Love, because learning love

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Speaker 1: never ends. Sit next to me and cheat off of

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Speaker 1: my paper. Cheat, Tony shall use a better word. Let's

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Speaker 1: just cut to the chase. Pre order this book and

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Speaker 1: start the Journey on becoming a true Student of Love class.

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Speaker 3: It's now in session.

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Speaker 1: Visit the link of the description. Get the book Student

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Speaker 1: of Love. It will bless your life.

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Speaker 2: I really like it when I get opportunities to talk

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Speaker 2: to brothers on the podcast. It's always hard for me

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Speaker 2: to get men on the podcat because a lot of

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Speaker 2: men don't want to be vulnerable, they don't be transparent,

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Speaker 2: and then they say, man, I'm gonna come with your podcast.

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Speaker 3: Everybody sees your podcasts.

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Speaker 2: I may be juggling different women and it's gonna get

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Speaker 2: me in trouble if you ask me certain questions.

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Speaker 1: And so I always love it when people are vulnerable

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Speaker 1: and transparent. And so today I have my homie on

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Speaker 1: the podcast. Welcome to Differ Twipey podcast. My homie, Rob

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Speaker 1: Howard is in the building.

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Speaker 3: What's the building, what's going on? What's happening. I'm blissed.

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Speaker 3: So my publish is Candice.

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Speaker 2: When I say, she loves your platform, and she sent

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Speaker 2: me a link to it, she says, you got to

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Speaker 2: get him. You said you want more men, You got

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Speaker 2: to get him. She loves what you've been doing, creating

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Speaker 2: spaces for even single people to date, asking those questions

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Speaker 2: that are conversation starters. You have a whole theory, platform, cards,

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Speaker 2: all this type of stuff that you do to help

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Speaker 2: drum up conversations and get people engaged and and I

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Speaker 2: actually absolutely love it.

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Speaker 1: So let me ask you this real quick. How did

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Speaker 1: you start doing what you do? I've been a facilitator

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Speaker 1: for twenty five years. Facilitator as you call it, facilitator, Yeah, facilitator.

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Speaker 1: Some of who asked questions uses questions to teach, to mediate,

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Speaker 1: to help people heal. I believe that's my duty for

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Speaker 1: my life, like my purpose. And when I was looking

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Speaker 1: at getting into content creation, one of my best friends

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Speaker 1: shout outs to my boy Mac. He was at a

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Speaker 1: training that I was doing and we were talking about

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Speaker 1: his content. He said, stop giving me advice on how

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Speaker 1: to run a YouTube do all this stuff if you're

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Speaker 1: not going to do it, like this is early in

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Speaker 1: our friendship too.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, I really, I'm trying. I just

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Speaker 3: have you equipment. I got kept.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to do, and he was like,

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Speaker 1: do what you just did it? Then I was like, huh,

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Speaker 1: maybe I could do that. So it was me bringing

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Speaker 1: questions because I knew I could do a question every day. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I had in my mind I wanted to post

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Speaker 1: at least one video every day, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: what could I do? And the answer was clear, I

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Speaker 1: could ask a question every day that can help people

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Speaker 1: either have a conversation with somebody, make a decision about

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Speaker 1: something or somebody, or even reflect more about themselves, like

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Speaker 1: learn more about themselves.

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Speaker 3: Where are you in regards to relationships? Are you dating?

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Speaker 1: Are you single? Are you engaged married? What's your relationship status?

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Speaker 3: Single? Single?

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Speaker 1: Do you desire marriage? Absolutely? Why? Because I'm crazy. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna be real today. I'm insane. I think that there's

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Speaker 1: a purpose for marriage, and I don't want to do

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Speaker 1: what I see other people doing in marriage. It's like

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Speaker 1: seeing somebody else with a nice car. It's like, that's

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Speaker 1: nice for you, Yep, I don't want that for me.

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Speaker 1: I want this one, this type, and I believe that

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Speaker 1: I will be blessed by it. I'm a father. I

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Speaker 1: believe that my family will be blessed by marriage partnership.

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Speaker 1: I believe that my community will be blessed. I also

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Speaker 1: know that eighty percent of successful.

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Speaker 3: Men are married. Absolutely. Amen.

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Speaker 1: So there's a lot of reasons for it, but I

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Speaker 1: take it serious. So I've been very very very very

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Speaker 1: very careful, Hey.

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Speaker 2: Very careful of getting married. Yeah, so you said you've

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Speaker 2: been very very very careful of getting married.

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Speaker 3: How many kids you have have too? Were you careful

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Speaker 3: in having kids? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I was intentional about that, you did, absolutely, So you said,

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Speaker 1: I want these kids. Did you want the mamas at

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Speaker 1: the time, so you were planning on Did you have

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Speaker 1: any desire of marrying them?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: So you had desires to marry Are they different women

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Speaker 1: of the same two mothers? So two mothers, and so

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Speaker 1: you were intentional about marrying them.

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Speaker 2: And let me ask you this. I don't be like

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Speaker 2: and ask and why didn't work out? Yeah, but because

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Speaker 2: that's none of my business. But the reality is, what

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Speaker 2: did you learn from those relationships?

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Speaker 3: I learned to.

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Speaker 1: Ask different questions about myself more than asking the other person.

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Speaker 1: So like in dating, I ask questions to get to

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Speaker 1: know somebody, and I want them to get to know me.

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Speaker 1: But more than anything, I think that we have to

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Speaker 1: be honest with ourselves and some of the things that

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Speaker 1: I think that people are willing to hide, to not

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Speaker 1: talk about, to try to put to the side so

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Speaker 1: that it's nobody else's business, especially the person that I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to fall in love with. They're trying to paint

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Speaker 1: a picture, a facade of this is what it is,

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Speaker 1: and it's what I like, and it's what I'll do,

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Speaker 1: and this is how we'll be, and not talking.

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Speaker 3: About like who are you really? What are your patterns?

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Speaker 1: For real?

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Speaker 3: What do you desire? What do you like? What turns

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Speaker 3: you on?

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Speaker 1: What is a thing that maybe other people are cool

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Speaker 1: with because you're not cool, it turns you off and

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Speaker 1: discuss you or hurt your feelings. You're sensitive about that.

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Speaker 1: It's an other people. I don't really care about that.

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Speaker 1: It's a need for me. But also learning how to

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Speaker 1: communicate in tough times, like I think that because I'm

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Speaker 1: a conflict mediator, I go to some of the most

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Speaker 1: intense situations, even post murder. I've facilitated healing circles post

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Speaker 1: murder in the United States multiple times, gang interventionalists like

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Speaker 1: tough hr issues, racism, bullying, like all kind of stuff

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Speaker 1: things in corporate, thing with kid, things with community, things

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Speaker 1: with family. I cannot do my thing and have all

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Speaker 1: these people like, oh my god, that was amazing. When

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Speaker 1: I'm in tension and conflict with somebody, I have to

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Speaker 1: get to resolution. I cannot. You know, people I want

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Speaker 1: men are like I want peace and you need it.

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Speaker 1: I need it because how can I really do the

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Speaker 1: thing that I'm doing if I'm craving peace in my

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Speaker 1: life and healing in my own life.

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Speaker 3: So you were doing that when you were dating those

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Speaker 3: other women early in the career, So you've always done this.

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Speaker 1: I've been a fator for over twenty five years. Twenty

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Speaker 1: five years, yeah, yeah. Getting into conflict mediation was like

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Speaker 1: mid twenties. And then I had my son in two

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Speaker 1: thousand and seven, and I was clear that I was

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Speaker 1: a facilitator and not the other stuff that I was

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Speaker 1: thinking I can do to make money.

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Speaker 3: And then in two thousand and.

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Speaker 1: Twenty nineteen, my daughter was born, and that was like

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Speaker 1: an intentional like I want to be a father again.

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Speaker 1: I want to do it with you. I think that

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Speaker 1: we can make it. And she's a great person. We're

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Speaker 1: co parents. Shout out to my daughter's mom, and we're

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Speaker 1: doing the parenting thing really well.

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Speaker 2: Why didn't you put I don't know what your upbringing was,

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Speaker 2: but why didn't you put marriage before the kid?

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Speaker 1: Because it wasn't ever a law for me, I understand

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Speaker 1: the value of it. I would bring that as a

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Speaker 1: teaching to someone like maybe considered the order of this, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and maybe considered Yeah, maybe consider that. But things don't

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Speaker 1: always go as My life didn't go as my plan,

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Speaker 1: I know it, right, Like business hasn't gone as our plan.

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Speaker 1: Friendships haven't gone as our plan. So even when I

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Speaker 1: have a vision to get somewhere, there's been some detours

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Speaker 1: and reroutings. You know in gens you put this location

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Speaker 1: in that joker, Yeah, they'd.

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Speaker 3: Be like rerouting. It's like dang, yeah, thank you.

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Speaker 1: But oh I thought it was gonna be a little

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Speaker 1: stop over here exactly.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And so when you look back at let me

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Speaker 3: ask you this, how is it arguing with you by

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Speaker 3: you doing what you do? I'm cold? All right? So

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Speaker 3: I owe you.

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Speaker 2: I owe you five hundred dollars and you just saw

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Speaker 2: me buy some new JS and we friends. We've been

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Speaker 2: France for about fifteen years, and let's role play. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I believe in direct I'm not pad A.

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Speaker 1: Couple of talk.

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Speaker 3: I just got I just got Majeorians.

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Speaker 2: I just got Majeorgian of what bro Yeah yeah, man, listen, man,

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Speaker 2: I stood in line all night to get these, bro.

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Speaker 3: I just had ship. I see them.

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Speaker 1: I just I'm kind of cool enough on my sneaker,

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Speaker 1: I still wear mine. Yeah yeah yeah, but look, man,

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Speaker 1: I see you with the new shoes. I'm happy for that.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, bro.

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Speaker 1: It's making me feel a way because I can't forget that.

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Speaker 1: I'll let you borrow some money that you were supposed

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Speaker 1: to give me.

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Speaker 2: Back, and I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get that

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Speaker 2: to you. Yeah, I'm gonna get it to you like

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Speaker 2: I'm talking about the end of the month.

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Speaker 1: I got you, bro, I got you here. Here's what

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Speaker 1: will work for me because when you called me for

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Speaker 1: what you needed, right, it was friendship. Yeah right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: with all due respect, when you put my needs and

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Speaker 1: my bills and my comfort to the side for your.

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Speaker 2: No you got money, don't like you hard up for

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Speaker 2: you to come on, man, five hundred dollars ain't ain't

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Speaker 2: put made you homeless or nothing.

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Speaker 1: No, it doesn't make me home. It's just respect, bro.

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Speaker 1: So here's the thing. Like, I define respect as the

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Speaker 1: god rule. Your mama Ma mama probably had the same teachings.

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Speaker 1: Every society has that thing, right the go to roof

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Speaker 1: for me? Is treating me how do I want to

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Speaker 1: be treated? Not you treat me how you want to

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Speaker 1: be treated and how I want to be treated. Is hey, man,

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Speaker 1: before you out here spending extra all things that you

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Speaker 1: don't got to have. If not, I can't be that

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Speaker 1: kind of a friend, it's gonna be a no if

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Speaker 1: we can't come to some understanding.

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Speaker 3: And it's cool if you can't. Now you don't my decision.

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Speaker 2: I would even have showed you these shoes if I

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Speaker 2: knew it's gonna be all that. You know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 2: My boy, You're gonna be happy for me because you

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Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. We know we you know it

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Speaker 2: was always about sneakers and stuff like that. We always

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Speaker 2: you know, where we grew up, we always had the latest.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: So I thought you over here making it about our

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Speaker 2: friendship and like I'm disrespecting you.

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Speaker 1: I ain't gonna never disrespect you like that. I don't

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Speaker 1: think you're intended it. I don't think you're intending to

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Speaker 1: disrespect me. Honestly, I think that that's not what your

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Speaker 1: motivation was. I don't want you to hear that I

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Speaker 1: think you're trying to hurt my feelings, be disrespectful, throw

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Speaker 1: us out of the friendship. I think you made a

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Speaker 1: decision I did, and the decision didn't make me feel good.

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Speaker 2: Does that make sense? Yeah, that's what it is. I

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Speaker 2: got you by the end of this month. We'd be

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Speaker 2: cool if I give it.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I like that you didn't ben, because that happens sometimes

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Speaker 1: when we're playing right. It's not a real situation. Jordan's

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Speaker 1: ain't on today. You didn't really borrow some money from me.

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Speaker 1: I don't know who you borrow from.

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Speaker 3: It wasn't me.

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Speaker 1: But I think what I wanted to show is I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna waiver and how what happened made me feel exactly.

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Speaker 1: And I think the struggle is both men and women,

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Speaker 1: but especially men, struggle to focus on yes, your intentions, Yes,

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Speaker 1: your thoughts, Yes, your plans that I didn't know you

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Speaker 1: had a plan for the end of the month, How

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Speaker 1: it made you to you press me? Then I made

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Speaker 1: up by it right? How it made me feel. And

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Speaker 1: I think one of the struggles is we're not really

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Speaker 1: taught to own emotions, like if a training when I go, hey,

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Speaker 1: you have a minute right down as many emotions, words

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Speaker 1: that describe feelings as you can well grown ups and

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Speaker 1: our kids are like two.

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Speaker 3: Or three a struggle.

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Speaker 1: So my inability to communicate feelings is also a part

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Speaker 1: of my inability to be empathetic to other people's feelings.

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Speaker 1: So haven't even vocabulary to talk about feelings is a

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Speaker 1: part of like communication.

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Speaker 3: That's good, that's good.

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Speaker 2: And so you look at that with all the tools,

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Speaker 2: what do you think is the struggle? And I'm you

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Speaker 2: struggle loosely the struggle of you getting married or you

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Speaker 2: not haven't been married yet, because everybody's going to accuse us.

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Speaker 2: They did the same thing to me saying you're a

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Speaker 2: single man. You got this platform, you got all these

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Speaker 2: choices of women.

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Speaker 3: You're the problem. Why aren't you married? La Terris?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm part of the problem. I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie to you. Am I part of

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Speaker 1: the problem? Absolutely? While you're part of the problem because

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Speaker 1: I'm crazy, I'm picky, I'm special. Some of my friends

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Speaker 1: like you lit autistic. It's like, yeah, those ablest me

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Speaker 1: like the same way you don't like racism. No, ablest

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00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,960
Speaker 1: me like I am special, nothing like me, And I

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Speaker 1: don't work normal, Like the MANU was like, this should

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Speaker 1: do that, But no, my brain go, my body react,

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Speaker 1: my habits.

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Speaker 3: Be a little off. You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: Just because I look like this don't mean I ain't special,

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Speaker 1: you feel, But the truth is, I think that marriage

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Speaker 1: is a commitment and it is a legal contract.

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Speaker 3: It is a deal.

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Speaker 1: And I'm looking for a business partner as much as

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Speaker 1: I'm looking for a beautiful woman, a sex partner, a friend,

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Speaker 1: somebody who I can confide in and support, maybe bounce

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Speaker 1: ideas and encourage me. Like all those things are great,

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Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day, if we can't negotiate the terms of

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Speaker 1: this deal, I'm not signing the contract. So the deal

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Speaker 1: that you want, Rob, I want a good teammate. I

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Speaker 1: want a good business partner. I want somebody who, not

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Speaker 1: just in theory, but in practice, has the character that

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Speaker 1: I believe is a good partner to what I think

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Speaker 1: I bring to the marriage deal. Right, Like we talked

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Speaker 1: about what do you bring to the table? I use

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Speaker 1: that question to provoke on the internet.

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Speaker 3: I bet you do.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, especially two twenty what happened one bro

403
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Speaker 1: like it became a content thing, and I knew that

404
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Speaker 1: my question, if I hit it, there would be a

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Speaker 1: reaction in my audience, and then new people will find it.

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Speaker 1: And I think that there's a struggle with when a

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Speaker 1: man says, what do you bring to the table? Women,

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Speaker 1: especially a certain type of woman, finds it disrespectful. She

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Speaker 1: sees a fence in it. She assumes negative intentions instead

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Speaker 1: of trying to understand what is he asking?

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Speaker 3: Even if he doesn't.

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Speaker 1: Use the right word in the right language and the

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Speaker 1: right term, right definitions, right perspective, like mine, what is

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Speaker 1: he trying to say? Because that's ultimately what communication is.

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Speaker 1: These are just words in the same langu which hopefully

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Speaker 1: in the same understanding.

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Speaker 3: But that hits a little different.

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Speaker 1: So when I think about a wife, when I think

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Speaker 1: about a marriage, I don't have a problem talking to someone.

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Speaker 1: I don't have a problem building a connection. I don't

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Speaker 1: have a problem loving, I don't have a problem serving,

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Speaker 1: I don't have a problem committing, being faithful. All the

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Speaker 1: things that a person might say on that side of

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Speaker 1: the deal, like hey, this is what I'm looking for?

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Speaker 3: Cool? Are you willing to do? What are you willing

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Speaker 3: to do?

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Speaker 1: What? How committed to you, because it sounds like you're

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Speaker 1: committed to ring, wedding title, status, life house. My job

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Speaker 1: that I can't get no days off on protecting and

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Speaker 1: providing and showing up and being an emotional support and

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Speaker 1: a thought partner and helping.

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Speaker 3: You with your business or your hustles or your studies.

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Speaker 3: What do you do?

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Speaker 1: Because if we were teammates in this podcast and I

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Speaker 1: was like, man, I look good on camera.

436
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Speaker 3: I smile.

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Speaker 1: This is my good side. I'll sit in this seat,

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Speaker 1: the cameras of there, I'm gonna sit over here. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna bring this what do you mean bring to the table,

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Speaker 1: And he'd be like, brother, I also can smile. Yeah,

441
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:08,959
Speaker 1: I need you to help you book guests. I need

442
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 1: you to help me pay for something. This stuff You're like, now,

443
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,480
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna do this part. That's not a good partner, brother,

444
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 1: And let me just say to me, that's not a

445
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:22,680
Speaker 1: good partner. Somebody's like, deal, yep, deal, because maybe what

446
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:26,400
Speaker 1: I bring is so valuable that it kind of balances

447
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,439
Speaker 1: the partnership. Like if I was like Kim Kardashian is like,

448
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:32,520
Speaker 1: you don't got to set up no cameras, you don't

449
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 1: turn on no lights. You just do the thing because

450
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 1: you're a value of that. But I'm not looking for

451
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 1: a wife that brings value like that. I want some

452
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:43,120
Speaker 1: tangible How do I hold you accountable? If we went

453
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,199
Speaker 1: out with a with a group of women and they

454
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 1: were like, hey, bros, you didn't predict or provide out here,

455
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 1: like some drama happened. You was on your phone, You

456
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 1: was drunk, he was sleep he was lazy, he was

457
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 1: always not focused. I was looking at the door. I

458
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,920
Speaker 1: saw the problem. You didn't see it. That's that's the

459
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,680
Speaker 1: way to hold us accountable, like you didn't do the thing.

460
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 1: I think the good charlatan, a good charlatan will try

461
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 1: to enter into a deal without any scope of work

462
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 1: or responsibility.

463
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely, they.

464
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,400
Speaker 1: Want you to promise to do, be very specific about

465
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,719
Speaker 1: what you gotta do and what the rules are. If

466
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:25,159
Speaker 1: you break it, then it's gonna be this. But I

467
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 1: don't know what my job is. I don't know am

468
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,119
Speaker 1: I responsiblit. I'm not even sure about how to commit

469
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 1: to that thing. Besides intelligible things like love and kindness.

470
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 3: I can loving fun, those intangibles. I can't hold that accountable.

471
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,640
Speaker 2: And so have you not found that in all these

472
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 2: years of dating, like you could have found I asked

473
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:55,119
Speaker 2: you this when we did a pre interview, how have

474
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,160
Speaker 2: you ever been close to marriage?

475
00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 3: And what was your answering? Man, So close to what?

476
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,919
Speaker 1: You ever have a real intention to go somewhere and

477
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,640
Speaker 1: do something like I'm gonna go to the gym to day.

478
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 1: You pack your bag, you had your fit ready, you

479
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 1: put your pre work out, you might have took your

480
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:14,400
Speaker 1: pre workout. It it's a oh emergency, I gotta get off.

481
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: I can't do the thing. It was to the degree

482
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 1: of you know what I'm saying, like we about to

483
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 1: take off and do the thing, a board mission all.

484
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 2: The way to the point ring purchase. Yeah, yeah, And

485
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 2: so you had a ring purchase for said woman and

486
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,959
Speaker 2: then y'all got in an argument the month of the

487
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 2: proposal that you were going to surprise her and she

488
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 2: never ever knew that you had plans to propose her.

489
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a longer road than the just one month,

490
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 3: you know, thirty.

491
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 2: Days I'm talking about when you had the ring though. Yeah, yeah,

492
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:49,920
Speaker 2: I'm talking about you had the ring.

493
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 3: And an idea of how I could do.

494
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: It, and it fell apart that the month of yeah,

495
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 1: and it's none of her business. Well, he says nothing

496
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:03,159
Speaker 1: business like we talked about, like, well, did she know

497
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: that you tell her?

498
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 3: No?

499
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 1: I think that's manipulative. I'm so glad I ain't proposed

500
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 1: to get on one. I was about to do it.

501
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 1: You don't even know I bout a ring and everything,

502
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:19,399
Speaker 1: sage seven solitaire. You have to go back. You have

503
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 1: to go to your l A thing. Yeah, you know,

504
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:24,159
Speaker 1: when you hurt, you go there. I ain't gonna lie, bro,

505
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 1: I've been hurt before. I embraced my hurt. It's a

506
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 1: nice pillow. You went to all your whole little LA

507
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 1: thing on the dead hommies. If you say on the

508
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 1: dead hommies from La about anything, it's very clear, it's

509
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,399
Speaker 1: very serious. How serious you are. I don't even know

510
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 1: how many hommies am I actually are actually dead, but

511
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 1: all of them, all of them dead, because all my

512
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 1: dead homies just come on them all off every time

513
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:52,480
Speaker 1: you speak that.

514
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 3: On the dead hommies.

515
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:55,160
Speaker 1: Bro.

516
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 3: And so that.

517
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 2: Happened where you hurt by the breakup, knowing that your

518
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 2: intent was to marry her. Yeah, yeah, but you couldn't

519
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 2: army songs every day. But why couldn't you say in

520
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 2: that moment, did you try to fight for it?

521
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 3: No? Why not? I don't want to fight for nothing.

522
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to fight with I'm not trying to

523
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:23,120
Speaker 1: fight towards all of these terms, brothers. I'll fight against amen.

524
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 1: I will defend and protect my heart, my well being,

525
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 1: my mental health, fight for it when you okay, let's

526
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 1: talk about anything that you respect in your life and value.

527
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 1: Do you be fighting for your health? You be fighting

528
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 1: for your salvation? Do you be fighting for your finances?

529
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,680
Speaker 1: Like that sounds not, not like it's a good deal.

530
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 1: Do you be fighting for your friendships? No? I don't

531
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 1: want to fight for ma'am. Hm hmmm, so, so give

532
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 1: me another word. What could you have done? Could you

533
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 1: have pursued? We could have resolved?

534
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 3: Could you have so? Did you you could have restored?

535
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:05,959
Speaker 3: Did you try to restore it?

536
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:11,360
Speaker 1: I'm not mediating my relationship, ma'am, sir, people, family, aunties, cousins,

537
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 1: Where in my woo cameras?

538
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:13,399
Speaker 2: Right?

539
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,199
Speaker 3: This is me right here?

540
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not I'm not mediating. I'm not working my relationship.

541
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,359
Speaker 3: Why not? Relationship takes work, they do. I'm gonna put

542
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 3: the work in. But you.

543
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 1: But if I'm not blowing apart, you know what, it

544
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 1: might be a traumatic traumatic wound I have had in

545
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 1: relationship with people I liked, women I was dating in

546
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 1: loving all in a good way from the wart. Yeah,

547
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 1: are you doing the thing that you do at work?

548
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 3: Don't like, don't bring, don't try to. I was right,

549
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 3: So that's what they'll say to you.

550
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 1: M M.

551
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 3: I understand.

552
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,919
Speaker 1: If I was a mechanic and I was trying a

553
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:57,360
Speaker 1: mechanic at home, why all of a sudden it's not valuable.

554
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 3: If I was a chef, don't you bring your cutlery

555
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,959
Speaker 3: in here, your culinary skills.

556
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 1: It's just a jab and it hit me, and I

557
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:08,439
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm at the way healed from it

558
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: and let it go.

559
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 3: Uh So I'd be like, I'm not doing it.

560
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,479
Speaker 1: We can, we can hire somebody and that mediator, that

561
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,359
Speaker 1: therapist better be could. I'm sitting there like, let me

562
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 1: see what you're doing, just like you role play.

563
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 3: I'm playing in this. You're critique that.

564
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 1: Not only am I I'm looking at her, I'm looking

565
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 1: at the professional, like, let me see how good you are?

566
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: How much is this cost to me? Because I'm paying

567
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 1: for it? And it's like, oh m hmm, I don't

568
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:36,680
Speaker 1: like that therapist.

569
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,399
Speaker 2: You'll be like that, do you do you've been you've

570
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 2: been in therapy with women before, yes, how often not

571
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 2: not very often. So if a woman finds you in

572
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 2: therapy with them, does that mean that you're really we

573
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 2: can't use fighting for the relationship. You're really giving tools

574
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 2: to You're trying to help make that relationship looking for.

575
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 3: Solutions for sure.

576
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,920
Speaker 1: I'm trying to do what I can. That might be

577
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 1: for someone fighting for the relationship. But do you give

578
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 1: up too soon?

579
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,639
Speaker 3: Yeah?

580
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:10,679
Speaker 1: I see it coming. If you look at the clouds

581
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 1: of the sky, you can tell what it's gonna range.

582
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 1: Somebody got a dog to be working and acting weird.

583
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 1: Somebody be like, ooh my bons is hurt. It's it's

584
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,159
Speaker 1: about to be a storm here, a hurricane coming. Like

585
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 1: there's science. Some people a holy spirit intuition a gut

586
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 1: told me, cool. You don't get mad if if God

587
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:32,639
Speaker 1: whispering her it's over. I don't be like what it's over? No,

588
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: all knowing God, you wrong?

589
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 3: He said, all knowing God, Hey, guy who knows all things,

590
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 3: you gotta be wrong. I'm gonna show you.

591
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 1: I tried that before. I'm gonna show you me too.

592
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 1: I also don't want to do the might as well.

593
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've ever seen the might as well.

594
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 1: It's like I hate this one. They'd be like, so,

595
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 1: why why did y'all get married? Well, I mean we've

596
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: been together, we got kids, we live together. I ain't

597
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 1: with nobody else't want nobody else. Ain't nobody else want me.

598
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 1: We might as well have yet always cussed you had

599
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: to get out of here. Sorry, ma'am, be honest with yourself.

600
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: You might as well do I might as well it

601
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 1: no business. We might as well buy McDonald's to try

602
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: to do all the work and make a little what

603
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 1: might as well not do no business decisions for that.

604
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 3: We don't got to do that.

605
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: We could be in a loving relationship without that. I

606
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: want that, You want that. It gotta be right. Might

607
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 1: as well get you might as get out of here.

608
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 1: You might as well that. And if you might as

609
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 1: well as my friend, I'm gonna look at you like brothers,

610
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 1: it might as well as you. Sure let me know,

611
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 1: Blake Twice's day of I'm be eating razors.

612
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 3: Here's the murtherers room.

613
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 1: I know it's hard to plan this wedding. Might as

614
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 1: well we just spent all this till we committed.

615
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 3: All these people are coming, are you might as welling?

616
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 3: You might as well? Oh don't you might as well

617
00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 3: in here?

618
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 2: That would be terri believe sitting over there hours before

619
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 2: you walk down the aisle and be like, I really

620
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 2: don't love this woman like that. I might as well

621
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 2: get married to anyway. Yeah, I might as well.

622
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 3: No, it's no.

623
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 2: Would you tell your homeboy that? What would you tell

624
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 2: your homeboy if you were the best man? Y'all sitting

625
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 2: in the groom? But have you been the best man

626
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 2: of a might as well? No, that's what I'm saying.

627
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 2: What would you What would you say to him hours

628
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 2: before the wedding if if you started hearing that, might

629
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 2: as well language.

630
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,600
Speaker 1: The same thing I just told you. You'll tell no,

631
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: smack him in his face and say shut it down

632
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 1: right now. If you're getting married for a might as

633
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 1: well you can, I might as well you stay married, Like, look.

634
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 3: Do some work.

635
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 1: You made a commitment. You know how expensive this is.

636
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: You know how this is gonna look. You know how

637
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 1: hard it's gonna be. You know what you're about to lose?

638
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 1: You know how bad it.

639
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 3: Is out here in these streets.

640
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 1: You think single little good because you over there in

641
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 1: the house with her. You think that the internet is tricky.

642
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: They're not out.

643
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 3: Here like that. Absolutely his toff Yep, you.

644
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 1: Might as well stay you sure, now, I might as

645
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 1: well that direction I'm not. Might as well in, then

646
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 1: might as well in. He'll get out of here.

647
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 3: Might as well. You might as well.

648
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 1: I can't be a good friend if I think, like

649
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: I told you, I'm a little special. If my brain

650
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 1: working like this, I'm notices and stuff like this looks

651
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 1: like a might as well. I don't know if this

652
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: is a good Hey, let me talk to you, brother sis.

653
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:31,960
Speaker 3: Let me talk to you.

654
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 1: Oh God, And so you said that you're very very picky,

655
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 1: very When did you realize you're very very picky when

656
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 1: it comes to your dating life.

657
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 3: I'm very very picky with all things.

658
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 1: I know it.

659
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 3: But I'm gonna say when it comes to your dating life.

660
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 3: When they did a woman did a homeboy first girlfriend?

661
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 1: Sixteen years old? Really, she went to a different high school.

662
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 1: We didn't work the same job. I was picky. Then,

663
00:31:58,760 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 1: what you mean.

664
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 3: You want real?

665
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay, So she went to a different high school

666
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 1: and I liked her hair. She changed her hair. That's

667
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 1: like my girlfriend or wife seeing me, me and me

668
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 1: with a beard, and I was just like shaving it

669
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 1: Up'm shaving up.

670
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 3: No conversation. I was like, ooh, you still you?

671
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 1: But I got a preference and I don't want to

672
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 1: deny my There's a lot of stuff I don't care about,

673
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 1: but the stuff that I do care about, I am

674
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: standing on the thing I care about and what you

675
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 1: say to this woman, what we gonna do, and how

676
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,239
Speaker 1: committed are we to be in a relationship. It's not

677
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 1: like you in the youth, and I gotta deal with

678
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: the you, and that's the relationship.

679
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 3: I don't want to do that. So maybe this is

680
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 3: a good thing to happen.

681
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 1: We can talk about big decisions like I'm not gonna

682
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 1: just apply to a college without talking to you about

683
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,960
Speaker 1: what could that look like for our relationship? Right, I'm

684
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 1: not gonna just get a different job with a wild

685
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 1: schedule or takes me farther away from commuting when I'm consulting, Like, hey,

686
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 1: do you think that's gonna be a problem a deal breaker?

687
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 1: Like how would you feel if I was less available?

688
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 1: How did you feel if I made less money. How'd

689
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 1: you feel if I was working at the strip club?

690
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 1: How'd you feel?

691
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 3: Like, Rob, what did you say to this girl? How

692
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 3: do you feel about wigs and weaves? You said that

693
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 3: to her?

694
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, she was like eighteen, was seventeen eighteen, and she

695
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 1: said what she was like playing on it? I was like, okay, cool.

696
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 3: I like braids. It was folox at that time. I

697
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 3: love some folcks. So she changed her from what to what.

698
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: She was one of them jail girls back in there,

699
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Slick it down, slick it back,

700
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 1: swinging ponytail. Yeah, I did too. Man, that was a move.

701
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 1: Let me tell you some A little swoop right there,

702
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 1: they'll put the little jail down swoop. Oh my god, man.

703
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 1: That was the first baby here. I wasn't really relationship with.

704
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 1: And I don't know if it was a baby here,

705
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 1: but it felt like just just slick down.

706
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 3: Oh they did something to you. Don't let it waves

707
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 3: in the in the Yeah. The way they put the

708
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 3: little pumping up scripts in the hair, there's no back up.

709
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:15,760
Speaker 3: And I love.

710
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 1: Thirty forty year olds and be like, it's my time

711
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 1: to shine. Watch me with my sciatica I'm about to

712
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 1: kill him with the swoops pro style jail.

713
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 3: So she changed. What's the clear one? I forgot the

714
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 3: clear right? What is it? Eco style? You got an

715
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:35,160
Speaker 3: ego style?

716
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: The baby hairs down, ma'am listen, I'm not against a

717
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 1: role player.

718
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 3: I'm gonna put that on the list.

719
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: Eco style by the kids is gonna be gone. What

720
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 1: you was talking about? Because she sl she slipped. She

721
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:52,439
Speaker 1: slid her hair through some jail.

722
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 3: I had to boy, Yeah, I was pulling them, and

723
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 3: so she switched to her to what.

724
00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 1: She cut it shorter, and it was like, they look

725
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 1: like you in Pe. You hurried too fast, You lean

726
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 1: back on this couch, your heart and the like. You

727
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 1: went to Pe third period. Now for the rest of

728
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 1: the day, you gotta explain why you look like you

729
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 1: ran three laps and you broke up with us? What

730
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,680
Speaker 1: did you do? I still loved her, but did you

731
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:24,399
Speaker 1: keep stay in a relationship with him? We ain't together. No,

732
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:27,040
Speaker 1: she actually cheated on me. She cheated in high school,

733
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 1: so that was a bigger issue.

734
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, she cheated, so it wasn't a picky by her

735
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 2: hair is because she had moral issues.

736
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 4: I think it was a decay. I think it was

737
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 4: a little cancerous. I think I think that was a

738
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:42,839
Speaker 4: let me get my glosses. It's spent the rain in here,

739
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 4: like the storm was coming. If you will, and uh,

740
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,479
Speaker 4: you know, God bless her hopes she's doing well.

741
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:49,720
Speaker 3: She said that was a sign.

742
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, relationships ending or relationships not going where I want

743
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:54,319
Speaker 1: to go.

744
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 3: It's fine. Like I can feel my feelings.

745
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 1: I could feel sad, I could feel the missing, I

746
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 1: could feel the jealousy, I could feel the confusion. I'm

747
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 1: okay feeling I'm not. I don't drink, I don't smoke.

748
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna feel all of it. Be sitting there listening

749
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 1: to R and B songs like, why is Charsshommers singing

750
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 1: to me?

751
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:12,959
Speaker 3: Brother?

752
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,279
Speaker 1: Is this prophetic that you could you recorded this song

753
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 1: years ago? He says, you're telling my story, sir. What

754
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 1: was that called Thomas song? I wish I never met

755
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 1: HER's what we said. That's what he said. That's not

756
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 1: my words, but he when he's saying it felt good.

757
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: I'm singing along in my little baritone in the back

758
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:37,440
Speaker 1: of the choir. You like it's you know it prophetic?

759
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,800
Speaker 1: It's prophetic? If if he said it ninety nine and

760
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 1: then here I am two thousand and three feeling like.

761
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:46,800
Speaker 3: It's a long time message. I'll tell you what.

762
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,439
Speaker 1: Like this, like a sermon the pastor priests five years

763
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: ago and you just heard the tape today.

764
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:57,439
Speaker 3: What he prophetic? So was that the first girl?

765
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:00,400
Speaker 2: And when you say cheat, because high school is a

766
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 2: different type of cheat, she could just be talking to

767
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:02,839
Speaker 2: another boy.

768
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 3: Did she cheat?

769
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 1: Oh, I can tell you. I'll never forget. Okay, Well,

770
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:07,640
Speaker 1: this is what happened. That's how I found out.

771
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 3: Okay.

772
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 1: She had a job at an amusement place like rides

773
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 1: and kids carnival stuff, and she had late hours. I

774
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 1: had a job at like a mall, different hours. The

775
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 1: mall's clothes ain't gonna be there at eleven twelve o'clock

776
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 1: water cleaning up. And one of my best friends that

777
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,720
Speaker 1: went to my school, she's still one of my best friends.

778
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 1: She went to the immuning place just randomly. And back

779
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:36,440
Speaker 1: in the day we used to do pictures together. You remember, Yeah,

780
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:40,279
Speaker 1: the foggy absolutely diffused. Yeah, yeah, it look like you

781
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,760
Speaker 1: had a dream. Oh my yes, in the background probably

782
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 1: was a dream. It sort of blue and huge purple

783
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:50,359
Speaker 1: or pink or something with hearts. Everywhere you pick a background. Yeah,

784
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 1: that's coming back to, he says, coming back to. So

785
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 1: what happened was I had given my friends at my

786
00:37:56,719 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 1: school me and my girl's picture and we used to

787
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 1: carry pictures in photo wallace, like the wallet size fell

788
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 1: right for family and friends and all these special pictures.

789
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 3: So my best friend knew what she looked like.

790
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 1: But my girl never met my best friend because she

791
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 1: didn't go to our school. And I kick on my

792
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,719
Speaker 1: friend like at our house, my head, we didn't do

793
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 1: it like that. So she went to the amusement place

794
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 1: and she saw her, and she told me. On our

795
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 1: senior field trip to not to Very Farm, which is

796
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 1: an amusic park ironically with roller coasters. Though I'm excited,

797
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 1: you know, I'm having fun with my friends, and my

798
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 1: best friend told another friend.

799
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 3: Like, hey, Bro, when and should I tell him? And when?

800
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: And Bro was like, if you don't tell them, I'm

801
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 1: gona tell him. So they both came to me and

802
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:49,880
Speaker 1: told me at the beginning of the trip on the

803
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:54,359
Speaker 1: bus and they were like. She was like, I saw her,

804
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 1: I know it's her. I have the picture. This is

805
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 1: what it was. She was sitting up with him on

806
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 1: his lap. They was kissing. I was like on the lap.

807
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:07,280
Speaker 1: Oh in the public eye. He was just so bold.

808
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 1: Oh that's a different cheat. It's a different cheat, a

809
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:13,279
Speaker 1: bold sheet versus a I can get up with a

810
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 1: little shame in there. Yeah, give me a little shame, like,

811
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: don't cheat on me boldly confidently, like I ain't gonna

812
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 1: find out, Like God, ain't got a relationship with me?

813
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:26,920
Speaker 1: Still like you like like no one saw you at

814
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 1: the day at a big amusement park. Yeah, and so

815
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:34,839
Speaker 1: she a popular one and she took a picture with him. No,

816
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 1: she did what she was she's sitting around Yeah, and

817
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,880
Speaker 1: and your friend just so happypen with her and then

818
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 1: told you about it.

819
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 3: And then what did you think? Did you believe it? Yeah?

820
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:47,799
Speaker 1: Because when she I was like, what do you look like?

821
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 1: When she described him? I remember that guy? Oh you

822
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 1: remember them?

823
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,320
Speaker 3: Yeah? And there was no reason for my friends allowed to

824
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 3: me about that.

825
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 2: And then when you confronted her about it that she

826
00:39:58,040 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 2: admitted damn what she sa?

827
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,360
Speaker 1: She said, your best friend, won't you? And she lying

828
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 1: and was like why are you gonna believe her over me?

829
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 1: And you know we're teenagers. Yeah, I've cheated before, so

830
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 1: I know what it feels like to get caught.

831
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 2: You're talking about before her, after us, Yeah, but I'm

832
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 2: talking about before her. You were a good guy, that

833
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 2: type of dude that I give you my word.

834
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 3: We was gonna get married. We would first, girlfriend first everything.

835
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,720
Speaker 2: And that's what you told her, and that's what you felt.

836
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 2: And then when she told you that she she just

837
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 2: lied to you.

838
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,280
Speaker 3: Then what happened? How did it? How did you stand

839
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 3: on business? We broke up?

840
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 1: I broke up with her that day once we had

841
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 1: some tough conversations about it.

842
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 3: You were you trying to actively make it work.

843
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 2: So even when she said even though you knew she

844
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 2: was lying, you was like, man, I still don't want

845
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 2: to let us.

846
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,240
Speaker 3: I stayed with a cheater before.

847
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 2: I'm talking about that. I want to go back to

848
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 2: that sixteen year old. And then she said, so how

849
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 2: long did you think?

850
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 3: It was? Probably a week or two at the most

851
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:01,359
Speaker 3: she actually ever admitted in that week. But they became

852
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 3: boy and a girlfriend right after that.

853
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,399
Speaker 2: So this girl sat there and said no, no, no, no,

854
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,439
Speaker 2: no no no, And you were like, I know you, Lyne,

855
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 2: but I'm gonna keep you anyway. Yeah, and then you

856
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 2: just said forget it. I can't take it no more.

857
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:16,799
Speaker 3: I can't take no more.

858
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 2: And you broke up with it and then you look

859
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 2: up and now she with the dude. Yeah, and what

860
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 2: did you think about the experience.

861
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 1: At the time. Yeah, at the time, I think it

862
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:30,719
Speaker 1: hurt again. I think it hurt again. I think that

863
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 1: there was some ego in there where I didn't want

864
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:34,720
Speaker 1: to lose, Like I feel like he took my girl,

865
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 1: Like how can he take my girl? Like what's better

866
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,919
Speaker 1: about him? What's not good enough? I ain't cute enough,

867
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 1: I ain't tall handsome, and I ain't got muscles enough.

868
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:46,320
Speaker 3: I ain't got enough. I don't got the s curl

869
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 3: back the.

870
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 1: Days curls, and then there was natural curls, like a

871
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 1: little bit of the genuine Yeah, like you got some

872
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 1: Indians showing up, but you go like this and they

873
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 1: go like this, some curls and then go right back.

874
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 3: Because he was using jail. I don't know if he

875
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:04,760
Speaker 3: was using what's it ego?

876
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 1: Like he was using that s curl. Yeah. So yeah,

877
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:11,720
Speaker 1: that man got my lady.

878
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 2: And so how do we think about that? And it's

879
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 2: interesting because you brought up something that we were It

880
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 2: brought competition early on in life. The song said it

881
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,359
Speaker 2: it's like I'm gonna take your girl. I'm gonna do all.

882
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 2: The music was like, if you that dude, you can

883
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:30,359
Speaker 2: take another. Uh even what's that song Usher says, don't

884
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 2: bring your girl around me? True playing for real as

885
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 2: my for real you know what I'm saying. It's like,

886
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:40,279
Speaker 2: it's like it's a part of Bravado to say I

887
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,879
Speaker 2: can take your woman. And we were programmed like that

888
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 2: and then maybe become the guy that a take a

889
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 2: man's woman when we realized that if a woman could

890
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,360
Speaker 2: be took like that, what does that say about that woman?

891
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 3: Man?

892
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 1: Thank you for taking my lady, because I almost married

893
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 1: that lady. I was with a takeable lady. I was

894
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 1: in love with a takable lady who that a preach

895
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 1: better preach. I was in love with a takeable lady.

896
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,479
Speaker 1: When did you get to a place of understanding that

897
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 1: she just wasn't your best and it wasn't about you?

898
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 1: So I was single and day they ain't having the player.

899
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 1: Life after that wasn't really focused on relationships. And then

900
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:29,320
Speaker 1: I met an amazing woman and I was like, oh,

901
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,360
Speaker 1: this is the reason why that didn't work out, And

902
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 1: how ore you at that point because it happened that

903
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:38,920
Speaker 1: So you're in college. Did you in college?

904
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 3: All right?

905
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 2: So around that happened in high school around sixteen. Yeah,

906
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 2: and so around sixteen, and you like, forget it. I

907
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 2: ain't got I ain't giving none of the women by heart.

908
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 2: Then about twenty one, twenty two, you meet this other woman.

909
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, she can have it? Do you

910
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,360
Speaker 1: want to let ma'am focus? Do you want this? I

911
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,680
Speaker 1: got it. It's a little beat up, got some blessed

912
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 1: on it, Cheetos range de Rito corner.

913
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:03,040
Speaker 3: But it's good.

914
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 1: It's a good heart. You said you can have it all,

915
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 1: you have it all. It's all I got. I'm broke.

916
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:08,920
Speaker 1: At the time. I got a dream. I got talent.

917
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,839
Speaker 1: I was able to hump. I can give you that.

918
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,799
Speaker 1: I could drive. If you don't give you tired, you

919
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,439
Speaker 1: don't gotta you don't gotta drive, I'll drive.

920
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:22,719
Speaker 3: Did you say I know how to hump? Yeah? Yeah?

921
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 3: What do you have to offer? What do you bring

922
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:25,760
Speaker 3: to the table.

923
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 1: I could hook you up if you needed.

924
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 3: So that's that was all I was offering. I was

925
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,800
Speaker 3: giving it away for free.

926
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 1: I should have got paid, but at the time I

927
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:42,839
Speaker 1: didn't know my worth. You know, you know high sight,

928
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: high sight, sir, You was doing work that's labor.

929
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:51,839
Speaker 3: She wasn't getting that everywhere. So why you don't get paid?

930
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 3: Did you say you didn't know your work? I didn't

931
00:44:54,680 --> 00:45:01,360
Speaker 3: know my work. You should have been getting paid. Yes,

932
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 3: what's wrong with you?

933
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:02,839
Speaker 1: Man?

934
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 3: I'm special man.

935
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,839
Speaker 1: The way that the world looks from my seat, it's

936
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 1: different colors than y'all.

937
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 3: See.

938
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 1: I'll watch a movie with you and I'd be like,

939
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 1: why did they do that? You're like, Robers watched the movie?

940
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 3: You like the movie?

941
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like yeah, but I can't get over the

942
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:22,399
Speaker 1: fact that that's the decision that they make. Why would

943
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:27,800
Speaker 1: they do that? That's stupid? And so you tell this

944
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,319
Speaker 1: someone wan what you brought to the table when you

945
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 1: show up? You say, here's my broken, shattered piece of

946
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:35,759
Speaker 1: a heart. But you can have it all. You have

947
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,759
Speaker 1: it all. What happened with that relationship? I broke up

948
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 1: with her. Okay, it sounds like a terrible story. Here's

949
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,799
Speaker 1: the fast version. We loved each other and we had

950
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 1: a painful breakup because I was broke and she was

951
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 1: in pursuit of a career as a doctor and her

952
00:45:55,120 --> 00:46:00,239
Speaker 1: Nigerian parents were putting her through an elite school. Ain't

953
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 1: for her rent and paying for her car and her

954
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:04,920
Speaker 1: cell phone and her food meal car because she was

955
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 1: smart and athletic and scholarships. But that school was very

956
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 1: It's one of the most expensive schools in California. And

957
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 1: uh what school was at U c l A U

958
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: c l A. I was up in there. I was

959
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 1: in that dorm room. I was in them. I was

960
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:20,840
Speaker 1: using her meal car to eat when I was a

961
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,280
Speaker 1: little hungry, you know what I'm saying, in them dorms

962
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:24,720
Speaker 1: and then after that in the apartments.

963
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 3: Where was you at during that time? I was in college?

964
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 1: What school was you at? Cal State North Rich I

965
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 1: was pursuing my dreams and things were starting to get

966
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 1: better and getting to these victories, but it hadn't paid off.

967
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 1: And we were having the conversations about let's get married.

968
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:45,359
Speaker 3: Really in college, I was gonna get married. I thought

969
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:46,880
Speaker 3: I was gonna be the first honey in the group

970
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:47,840
Speaker 3: to get married.

971
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:51,840
Speaker 1: Now I'm the last homie on the day, homies on

972
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 1: the dead, the last, the last on the dead, the

973
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:55,880
Speaker 1: dead hommies.

974
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 2: Uh so you was the lover of boy back then? Yeah,

975
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:00,880
Speaker 2: you was the one everybody said he's.

976
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 1: Gonna be made. Yeah, it's still in me, but it's like,

977
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:10,320
Speaker 1: you gotta be right. So we had a couple of conversations,

978
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: tough conversations about getting married and what that means to

979
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 1: be a husband, and I was like, look, I love you.

980
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 1: I do want to get married. Her parents weren't going

981
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 1: to approve her father specifically.

982
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,800
Speaker 3: Because you're not Nigerian or the success level it was success.

983
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 1: There was some internalized racism, anti blackness in there in

984
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 1: our relationship for sure, and I understand it from his

985
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 1: experiences coming from Nigeria here and he wanted the best

986
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 1: for his daughter and he was paying a lot of

987
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:44,400
Speaker 1: money to get her to a certain place. And he's like,

988
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 1: if you want to be her husband, then you take

989
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 1: over that responsibility. And I was like, I came in

990
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 1: these twenties and he was looking out for I have

991
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 1: a daughter. He's looking out for his daughter, like, you're

992
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:05,239
Speaker 1: about to get to here, and if if you want

993
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:08,640
Speaker 1: to get there, I got the route. But if you

994
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 1: want to go a different route to get there, on

995
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:12,319
Speaker 1: you on your own. And I was like, and she

996
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: was willing to, and I was like you shouldn't. She

997
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:19,239
Speaker 1: was you should willing to say, And I was like,

998
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 1: you should not. I love you enough to tell you

999
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 1: go get the degree. You look so good in the future. Doctors,

1000
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 1: you're gonna help people? You don't You don't want to

1001
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:34,959
Speaker 1: help those people. Let me help you help those people. Yeah,

1002
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:38,280
Speaker 1: I was like, but they got better for you. I don't,

1003
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 1: so why so.

1004
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:42,959
Speaker 3: Why why wouldn't you want her to gamble on you inferiority?

1005
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 3: Like feeling inferior? And how would you feel about that?

1006
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,520
Speaker 3: Now though a woman meets you at whatever level you

1007
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 3: at right now?

1008
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 5: And oh that's hard, brow, Oh that's hard because I

1009
00:48:56,040 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 5: have dated some doctors and so and all the lawyerness

1010
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 5: and all the success boss ladies.

1011
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:06,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, wait, says hard.

1012
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:13,240
Speaker 1: You've been broken from Yeah, okay, you ever go somewhere?

1013
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:15,279
Speaker 1: In fact, I'm playing that. I'm playing a wedding right now.

1014
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 1: What you you ever know your finance? A situation when

1015
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 1: you go to a place that looks like, don't nobody

1016
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:21,719
Speaker 1: think about finances?

1017
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:23,319
Speaker 3: Yes? Like?

1018
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 1: Who?

1019
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 3: This is nice? What is this? He's picking up and

1020
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:28,520
Speaker 3: this I'm making life decisions? This is nice.

1021
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 1: I've seen this on the Instagram on the reels. Uh,

1022
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 1: who you got plaques? What that awards, saying that's a reso.

1023
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 3: Yeah too. Oh yeah, my class sitting in their car like.

1024
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 1: It's nice you want to drive rock Yeah.

1025
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 3: This is actually really nice. I always want to drive

1026
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:52,480
Speaker 3: one of these.

1027
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:57,160
Speaker 1: These are so nice, And she might even say like, yeah,

1028
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 1: you know, I always wanted one and this is how

1029
00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 1: I and I was like, oh.

1030
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 3: I know how hard it is. Funnies must be nice.

1031
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:13,279
Speaker 3: Let me cast some money. Mhm. I could just I know.

1032
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 1: Here's the thing that I think people don't they don't

1033
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:18,800
Speaker 1: do based on what we talked about in the prep conversation.

1034
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 1: People don't shoot in their league. There is a such

1035
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 1: thing as out of your league. There's a reason why

1036
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:27,680
Speaker 1: I'm boxing these weight classes. This is differ between the

1037
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 1: professional basketball player and an amateur basketball player and a

1038
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 1: local really good like at the park here, he's Toby

1039
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 1: Bryant at the park. Yeah, let him get out there

1040
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 1: with the other professionals that are you.

1041
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:41,359
Speaker 3: Go see, there's levels of this.

1042
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 1: I'd be like, ma'am, I am going to have a

1043
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:48,360
Speaker 1: do you believe that though you believe?

1044
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:50,880
Speaker 3: Or out of here? So you tell me I'm not

1045
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:51,319
Speaker 3: there yet.

1046
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,399
Speaker 2: So you so you dated women that where you would

1047
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:55,800
Speaker 2: look at us out of your league.

1048
00:50:55,920 --> 00:51:00,120
Speaker 3: They're dating down in my twenties and thirties, So it

1049
00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:02,760
Speaker 3: is down to you just finances.

1050
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 1: No lifestyle, ability, resources, intellect. You didn't down let me

1051
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 1: be your friend right now, not not the person loving

1052
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 1: on you.

1053
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 3: You can do better. You gotta get to some steve.

1054
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 3: Why you rocking with me is when I'm asking, I

1055
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:26,319
Speaker 3: know why you're rocking with me? That ain't gonna last.

1056
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 1: That's because they got that out there too. So why

1057
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,480
Speaker 1: why why you don't think that? So you don't think

1058
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 1: love is enough? Hm? Hmmm, why not? Because it ain't?

1059
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:39,279
Speaker 1: So you tell peop who love each other stop loving

1060
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 1: each other. People love each other, stop being with each other.

1061
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:42,799
Speaker 1: People who love each other and stay with each other

1062
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 1: don't like each other or want to be with each other.

1063
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:47,319
Speaker 1: They just don't stay. They don't break up. We might

1064
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:49,359
Speaker 1: as well stay together. How many more years of life

1065
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:52,279
Speaker 1: you think you got, Where do you think you're gonna go?

1066
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:54,759
Speaker 1: How much you think you gonna get out of me?

1067
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:58,400
Speaker 1: Might as well stay together? I might as well, So

1068
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:02,400
Speaker 1: listen you on me. In real time, you'll be dating

1069
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:06,439
Speaker 1: a woman that you consider audio league, and you're there

1070
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 1: for what? Man, I'm looking for an exit? Looking why

1071
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:12,480
Speaker 1: why would you be looking for an exit?

1072
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 3: Let her go?

1073
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: I don't waste her time? Why because have you ever

1074
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 1: had somebody say that I wasted my time? A?

1075
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:22,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I should have. I should haven't? I should have.

1076
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:25,200
Speaker 1: It's like, all right, well, let's and learn. It's on

1077
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 1: me to help you make decisions. I guess I gotta

1078
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:30,120
Speaker 1: lead you to breaking up with me. Huh, all right,

1079
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 1: that's my job. I got it.

1080
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 3: And Rob, this is not a bad job for her

1081
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 3: to break up with you. So why do you get

1082
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 3: with her? To begin with? Ego?

1083
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 1: Desire? I want a Lamborghini? What are you talking about?

1084
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,279
Speaker 1: And then a Lamborghini? Turn itsef to me and open

1085
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:53,000
Speaker 1: this door I'm getting in. Man, you know where I live.

1086
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 1: This is not really gold. This is played it. If

1087
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 1: I open up Wells, spargo up and you open up yours,

1088
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:08,399
Speaker 1: you gonna know something you just don't know yet. Rob,

1089
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:12,320
Speaker 1: why does that matter? It's something in don't It's something

1090
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 1: in you that made her attracted. Yeah to you, I'm amazing.

1091
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:19,360
Speaker 3: So so why would you self sabotage.

1092
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:26,799
Speaker 1: Self esteem, image, yourself, value of self? So it's a

1093
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,560
Speaker 1: woman out there right now that says I gambled on

1094
00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 1: him because I felt like, you know, he was a

1095
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:34,400
Speaker 1: type of man that I wanted, and he.

1096
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:37,719
Speaker 3: Didn't really give us a chance. Did not, didn't just

1097
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:42,120
Speaker 3: messed up? Rob? It is do you apply for all jobs?

1098
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 3: Did you know that you're not qualified for it? No?

1099
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 1: How about colleges? Did you I'm going to yet? Did

1100
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:48,919
Speaker 1: you tell people he was about to go to Yeale?

1101
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,640
Speaker 1: With your transcripts? I don't know what they were. You smart,

1102
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:53,799
Speaker 1: But I didn't go to college. I spent a day

1103
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 1: in college. Come on, look at you still doing well?

1104
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:56,839
Speaker 5: Right?

1105
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:59,319
Speaker 1: But imagine if you knew you wasn't gonna be able

1106
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:01,239
Speaker 1: to go to college? Your thing, and you're like telling

1107
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,280
Speaker 1: people when they have some conversations.

1108
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 3: But where are you going? U?

1109
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:08,520
Speaker 1: C L A. N YU, Hampton's and Howards and hey, hey,

1110
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 1: where are you going Yale?

1111
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:13,480
Speaker 3: No? I'm not going nowhere.

1112
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:18,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be at the house, be on black planet

1113
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 1: dot com and my Space? What what you talking about?

1114
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 1: Tell you the truth? If they love you so much

1115
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 1: that they're gonna be foolish's.

1116
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:31,759
Speaker 3: Just like now I'm good at joke, arethor because you're

1117
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:32,240
Speaker 3: a fool.

1118
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:35,320
Speaker 1: If you really if you really think this is gonna

1119
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:37,279
Speaker 1: and then you're gonna stress me out because I'm mean,

1120
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:42,920
Speaker 1: because you you sacrificed, you know, cause stress me out.

1121
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:44,880
Speaker 3: Not in my twenties and thirties. And so when you

1122
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:49,040
Speaker 3: dated those type of women, And where are they now?

1123
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,719
Speaker 1: Are they married? There are a lot of them married now. No,

1124
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:56,279
Speaker 1: there's tough out here. And I make sure when I

1125
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:58,719
Speaker 1: come through their house that first few times, even if

1126
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 1: I know I ain't gonna be around along, I'm gonna

1127
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:04,680
Speaker 1: put an impression on this.

1128
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:09,560
Speaker 3: Listen, you're gonna remember me. Lah, was you just a

1129
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:11,480
Speaker 3: toxic dude? Is that toxic?

1130
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 2: It is if you did if you over entertaining this

1131
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:16,359
Speaker 2: woman that you said is dating down but you have

1132
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:19,720
Speaker 2: no are nonprofit toxics?

1133
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:26,120
Speaker 1: Is?

1134
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:27,400
Speaker 3: Uh?

1135
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 1: The home renovation shows toxic? Is the lottery toxic? There's

1136
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:38,840
Speaker 1: a church offering for a family of struggle toxic? We

1137
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:40,839
Speaker 1: are we doing the work of God. I think I'm

1138
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:43,480
Speaker 1: doing the work of God. I do good things.

1139
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:50,600
Speaker 3: Okay, what did we say? No, it's not toxic. He

1140
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:52,280
Speaker 3: is non prophet toxic.

1141
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, listen, Oh God, oh God, he's not here. Okay,

1142
00:55:57,719 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 1: So you're saying you were just playing your role for

1143
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:01,879
Speaker 1: the season that you're supposed.

1144
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:04,200
Speaker 3: To I'm doing good everywhere I go, all right. So

1145
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 3: it's a I can't control outcomes.

1146
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 2: It's the change that they want something from you and

1147
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,360
Speaker 2: you want something from them. You just know that the

1148
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:15,560
Speaker 2: it will come to an end, even if they can't

1149
00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:16,919
Speaker 2: see it. I hear the music.

1150
00:56:20,239 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 1: So what's the long as your lationship you ever been

1151
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:23,800
Speaker 1: in that you always knew it was gonna even last?

1152
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 3: Would you be with people for a year? Two years

1153
00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 3: and stuff like that knowing that you you you ain't

1154
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:30,879
Speaker 3: playing it on them.

1155
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 1: I'm not afraid of conflict. I'm not afraid of the smoke.

1156
00:56:35,360 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 1: Once I know, I'm going to make a plan to

1157
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 1: have a tough conversation. But I also know that's hard

1158
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:44,239
Speaker 1: for some people because there's never a good time to

1159
00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 1: break up. Of course, January you got New Year's in

1160
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:50,279
Speaker 1: February is Valentine's Deck, so you can't break up right

1161
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:52,640
Speaker 1: before Balancei's Day. And you got spring breaking looking at

1162
00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 1: us like we have vacations that we might be able

1163
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:56,399
Speaker 1: to go on or some fun stuff. Then you got

1164
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:59,840
Speaker 1: summers and graduations and RUMs.

1165
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:01,000
Speaker 3: Then you got.

1166
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:03,480
Speaker 1: School got started back up right, and then you have

1167
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 1: the fall things and giving given matching a couple of

1168
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:10,239
Speaker 1: stuff to cut job. It's never a good time. Then

1169
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 1: you got birthdays in between the anniversaries, and then you

1170
00:57:12,719 --> 00:57:15,080
Speaker 1: back at Christmas. It's like, what month is a good

1171
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:18,920
Speaker 1: time to break up? None of them. I also know

1172
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:22,000
Speaker 1: that the stuff up is in life, like, oh, I

1173
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 1: was supposed to go to that wedding with you. Oh

1174
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:26,120
Speaker 1: your family member got said, oh, someone passed away.

1175
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 3: We were grieving. It's not a good time to break up.

1176
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 3: So you might.

1177
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: Hold it a little bit now you know you're about

1178
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 1: to pack up your back. But I due respect, all

1179
00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:42,600
Speaker 1: do respect. You don't say it right away, and you

1180
00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 1: can get mad at me for not telling you what

1181
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 1: I knew you said, all due respect respect, said it

1182
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:50,760
Speaker 1: right away or prolong another six months? Yeah, because you're grieving,

1183
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 1: you're graduating, you're going through a tough times. It's covering season.

1184
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:00,800
Speaker 1: You had plans.

1185
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:02,480
Speaker 3: You want to go for New Year's you want to

1186
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:04,880
Speaker 3: do the kiss. All right, well let's do the kiss

1187
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:05,400
Speaker 3: and you know.

1188
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:07,360
Speaker 1: Dog go, Well, you ain't gonna you don't want to

1189
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 1: go in twenty twenty six with that person time out.

1190
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 1: I mean, you'd be like I've checked out. You don't

1191
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:15,960
Speaker 1: quiet quit yep, I pre break up? What does pre

1192
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:18,680
Speaker 1: breakup look like for you? Start packing up your bags

1193
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:20,400
Speaker 1: and looking at other options and where I want to

1194
00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:22,360
Speaker 1: move and what I'm wanna do. And I'm gonna say

1195
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:24,680
Speaker 1: it was a good time. If I could listen, if

1196
00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:26,480
Speaker 1: I can plan a proposal, I can plan a breakup.

1197
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:32,400
Speaker 1: That sounds crazy to say out loud. That's one of themtisms.

1198
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:37,760
Speaker 1: If if if I could go, let me find out

1199
00:58:37,800 --> 00:58:40,200
Speaker 1: her ring size, let me talk to the people in

1200
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:42,760
Speaker 1: her life about what type of ring Maybe that lady like,

1201
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 1: let me think about us, she wanted to be private

1202
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:49,200
Speaker 1: with just us, or does she want to crowd her family?

1203
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 1: Maybe I got to talk to her father, her father

1204
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:54,080
Speaker 1: figure to get permission, even though he ain't got no

1205
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:56,680
Speaker 1: authority to say she can or can't. We're both grown.

1206
00:58:57,040 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 1: You ain't listen. You can't stop this me. She's gonna

1207
00:59:01,040 --> 00:59:02,919
Speaker 1: say yeah, because I'm not proposing, not knowing, she's gonna

1208
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 1: say yeah. So your objections really don't matter, sir. But anyway,

1209
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:08,880
Speaker 1: I got a plan. If I could do all of

1210
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:12,439
Speaker 1: that planning, I can plan a breakup. Rob.

1211
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 3: Why you like this? Why you like God? They gave

1212
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 3: me like this.

1213
00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 1: If you don't like it, you gotta talk to him.

1214
00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:21,840
Speaker 3: I can plan a breakup.

1215
00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:25,200
Speaker 1: People be freeest on and breakups. That's why it don't work.

1216
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:27,080
Speaker 1: You try to break up and they still together. It's like,

1217
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:31,400
Speaker 1: wait a second, did you then you say that y'all done?

1218
00:59:31,520 --> 00:59:31,720
Speaker 3: Yep?

1219
00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:40,120
Speaker 1: Whatever they said. No, they said nope, Oh you need

1220
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:43,680
Speaker 1: the permission to break up. Listen, Oh God, slippy, ask

1221
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:44,040
Speaker 1: you this.

1222
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:48,920
Speaker 2: If you met the person that you desire to marry,

1223
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:53,840
Speaker 2: they done went through your whole ten point check system

1224
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:56,640
Speaker 2: that you may have, and you like, I cannot live

1225
00:59:56,720 --> 01:00:00,320
Speaker 2: without this woman. How long will it take you, marror,

1226
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 2: from the day you met her and this moment that happens,

1227
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:07,080
Speaker 2: whether that happens the first month to month.

1228
01:00:06,960 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would.

1229
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 1: I would get married as soon as we could, Like

1230
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 1: if the marriage required six months of planning and finances

1231
01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:17,120
Speaker 1: and checks in this contract gotta come because I gotta

1232
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:20,480
Speaker 1: pay for the thing. Then we're we're planning to get married.

1233
01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 1: We have a plan and a date. We would plan

1234
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:26,720
Speaker 1: in set a date. But if she was like, OK

1235
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:30,400
Speaker 1: no that yeah, okay, let's go to the court. Yeah,

1236
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:33,640
Speaker 1: who's the witness. I'm britty. Now they got witnesses there.

1237
01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:36,440
Speaker 1: You would, yeah, you would get married that quick. Absolutely,

1238
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:42,640
Speaker 1: what is that time? Though you said, I ain't gotta wait, No, no,

1239
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:45,400
Speaker 1: you know, I know, and I don't expect marriage to

1240
01:00:45,400 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 1: be perfect. Like you know we're talking, you know, it's

1241
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:51,120
Speaker 1: it's I'm talking on the topic. There's gonna be some

1242
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:53,120
Speaker 1: people who will listen to this or see a clip

1243
01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 1: and be like, see that's that toxic. They're not gonna

1244
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:59,760
Speaker 1: listen to the whole podcast full podcast listeners there content.

1245
01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 3: Then will go.

1246
01:01:04,480 --> 01:01:07,280
Speaker 1: That's the problem, Like, that's the toxicity, that's the immaturity,

1247
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:12,040
Speaker 1: that's that mentality. If I met the person right now

1248
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:16,400
Speaker 1: in my gut, I know, I don't care if.

1249
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 3: It makes sense to nobody else. That's good.

1250
01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:22,280
Speaker 1: My closest friends that I've met in my adult life,

1251
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:26,040
Speaker 1: I knew immediately that that was gonna be my best

1252
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:30,400
Speaker 1: friend good. Like literally in the conversation we meet, we

1253
01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:32,760
Speaker 1: had a moment. I go home to my lady, I

1254
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:35,880
Speaker 1: kick with the other homemy. I'm like, I know, it

1255
01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:37,720
Speaker 1: sounds crazy, that's gonna be one of the hommies. That's

1256
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:39,640
Speaker 1: like one of the one of my best friends. Like,

1257
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:41,320
Speaker 1: who would be next to me at a wedding. I

1258
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:45,440
Speaker 1: knew without knowing depth in all the story and seeing

1259
01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:47,200
Speaker 1: how they should, I was like, that's gonna be one.

1260
01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 3: Of my best friends. That's good.

1261
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:50,360
Speaker 2: And so you said, don't have to make sense to

1262
01:01:50,400 --> 01:01:53,080
Speaker 2: nobody else, so that thing can be like you meet

1263
01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:54,520
Speaker 2: them three months lady, y'all married.

1264
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:58,080
Speaker 1: Yep, you ain't scared of that. I'm not scared of

1265
01:01:58,160 --> 01:02:01,880
Speaker 1: none of that. Also, don't have to explain nothing to

1266
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 1: know about it. I'm so grown that part. If me

1267
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:07,520
Speaker 1: and that lady are locked and we ready to go

1268
01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:10,640
Speaker 1: on that journey, I'm doing it and I'm not. I'm

1269
01:02:10,680 --> 01:02:13,160
Speaker 1: not hesitating. I don't have no foot on the break.

1270
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:16,000
Speaker 1: If my foot hits a break, it's because some curves

1271
01:02:16,080 --> 01:02:22,280
Speaker 1: is coming round some mm hmm.

1272
01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 2: If you ain't scared of it, you know I ain't

1273
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:26,720
Speaker 2: scared of it. You ain't want the people to say

1274
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:29,960
Speaker 2: you gotta go through all four seasons with a person.

1275
01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:33,040
Speaker 2: You gotta do at least a year minimum.

1276
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:36,080
Speaker 3: You're live with them first. No like that.

1277
01:02:36,280 --> 01:02:39,280
Speaker 1: No, no, because I don't expect marriage to be perfect

1278
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 1: that I think I'm gonna be a person, she's gonna

1279
01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:44,760
Speaker 1: be a person. I think that I'm going to be

1280
01:02:44,920 --> 01:02:47,920
Speaker 1: different because I'm now married. It's gonna cause me to

1281
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 1: become something different. It's gonna be a level of responsibility.

1282
01:02:52,160 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have some challenges and some struggles. I'm gonna

1283
01:02:54,320 --> 01:02:57,680
Speaker 1: make mistakes. There's gonna be some hurt feelings. Sometimes we

1284
01:02:57,800 --> 01:02:59,640
Speaker 1: have to have some tough talks. We're gonna have to

1285
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:02,040
Speaker 1: figure out out. I think that's what the marriage part is, right.

1286
01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:06,200
Speaker 1: I'm not expecting perfect. But if I know on my

1287
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:09,919
Speaker 1: guts that this ain't right, why would I waste time

1288
01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 1: with a girl that I love? But I know on

1289
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:14,600
Speaker 1: my gut and I think that's a might as well too,

1290
01:03:14,680 --> 01:03:17,000
Speaker 1: Like I ain't gonna let her go. I don't want

1291
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:19,120
Speaker 1: nobody else to have her. She's bad, she's smart, she's

1292
01:03:19,120 --> 01:03:21,440
Speaker 1: about to be a doctor, she beautiful, she's doing that,

1293
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:24,600
Speaker 1: she's doing that or he did it. And it's like

1294
01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:27,920
Speaker 1: this control possessiveness. I don't want a marriage like that period.

1295
01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:31,720
Speaker 1: I'm not into possessing that part. That's not my goal.

1296
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:37,320
Speaker 1: Didn't see that coming, didn't see that you will be

1297
01:03:37,520 --> 01:03:39,240
Speaker 1: I know I was trying to let it be just

1298
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:42,800
Speaker 1: all toxic. But to tell the truth, and Jesus name,

1299
01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:46,680
Speaker 1: I'm a little a little complexity.

1300
01:03:47,160 --> 01:03:49,600
Speaker 2: So you said that sixteen year old, that sixteen year

1301
01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:51,000
Speaker 2: old boy still exists in that heart.

1302
01:03:51,320 --> 01:03:52,960
Speaker 3: That heart ain't all harden.

1303
01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:54,880
Speaker 1: I'll tell you right now. One of the things I'm

1304
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:57,920
Speaker 1: the most proud of is how protected my heart. Like

1305
01:03:58,080 --> 01:04:02,080
Speaker 1: the scripture that's very clear about guarded, have your heart,

1306
01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:04,600
Speaker 1: guard your own heart. Don't think somebody else is going

1307
01:04:04,880 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 1: guard your There's some things that I just don't engage in.

1308
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:09,800
Speaker 1: There's certain things I don't watch, there's certain things I

1309
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:13,200
Speaker 1: don't listen to. There's certain things that I don't dig

1310
01:04:13,280 --> 01:04:17,200
Speaker 1: in because I'm protecting my heart, protecting the way that

1311
01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:18,720
Speaker 1: I think about marriage.

1312
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:19,160
Speaker 3: That's good.

1313
01:04:19,200 --> 01:04:20,760
Speaker 1: Like, for example, there are people who cheated on their

1314
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:24,200
Speaker 1: girlfriend and their wife, right and now they have an

1315
01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:27,520
Speaker 1: excuse for why they don't trust wives because they've had

1316
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:31,000
Speaker 1: sex with somebody's wife, and they're like, who's the same,

1317
01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:35,240
Speaker 1: gonna do that to me? Never gonna let I was like, oh, oh,

1318
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:37,760
Speaker 1: I see how you hurt yourself self inflicted wound. You

1319
01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:40,040
Speaker 1: shut yourself into him. You thought you was gonna pull

1320
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:44,120
Speaker 1: it out of shoot there, but you shot yourself. Sorry

1321
01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:47,320
Speaker 1: for you, but you got to heal. That's crazy. How

1322
01:04:47,360 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 1: you say sorry, yourself, so self inflicted, self inflicted. So

1323
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,480
Speaker 1: what you said the certain things you don't watch? What

1324
01:04:54,480 --> 01:04:57,680
Speaker 1: do you not watch that protect your irrigates and eye gates.

1325
01:04:57,960 --> 01:05:04,040
Speaker 1: I don't watch certain movies. There are certain directors and

1326
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:06,200
Speaker 1: writers that write certain things that look a certain way

1327
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:07,880
Speaker 1: and portray black love a certain way.

1328
01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:08,520
Speaker 3: I don't watch that.

1329
01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:12,760
Speaker 1: There are certain books that portray relationships and stuff. I

1330
01:05:12,760 --> 01:05:15,479
Speaker 1: don't watch talk shows that are like in that stuff.

1331
01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:17,320
Speaker 1: I don't watch certain interviews that are like that where

1332
01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:18,960
Speaker 1: people get up there and they're talking in a negative

1333
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:22,240
Speaker 1: way about the thing or why they never ye, never

1334
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:23,760
Speaker 1: gonna get married, never gonna get married again.

1335
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:24,920
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, that's not for me. I'm not the

1336
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:26,360
Speaker 3: artist for that. That's good.

1337
01:05:26,480 --> 01:05:31,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't listen to certain songs like I'm really,

1338
01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:34,200
Speaker 1: when did you start doing that? When did you start

1339
01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:37,040
Speaker 1: taking on that mindset? It's my pickiness. I've never had

1340
01:05:37,040 --> 01:05:39,200
Speaker 1: a drink alcohol in my life. I've never smoked weeding

1341
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:41,080
Speaker 1: my life. There's certain things I've never eaten because I'm like,

1342
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:42,880
Speaker 1: I don't even want to like that. That's that looks crazy,

1343
01:05:42,880 --> 01:05:45,240
Speaker 1: it smells funny. I don't like once I make a

1344
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:47,040
Speaker 1: decision that I'm not going to do that. I'm not

1345
01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:48,680
Speaker 1: on that. So I've never drank a smoke and did

1346
01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:50,880
Speaker 1: anything like that. What is your reason for never drinking?

1347
01:05:51,200 --> 01:05:51,640
Speaker 3: My father?

1348
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:53,760
Speaker 1: I know it's in my family line. I know in

1349
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:56,760
Speaker 1: my mother's side there's addiction. And I was like, if

1350
01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:58,960
Speaker 1: I'm going to be better than them and have a

1351
01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:02,200
Speaker 1: different life experience I desire to have, I can't go

1352
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:04,200
Speaker 1: playing with the same elidence.

1353
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 3: So that's the same thing for me.

1354
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:09,680
Speaker 2: Like, addiction runs very heavy in my family, and I

1355
01:06:09,720 --> 01:06:10,400
Speaker 2: just made a decision.

1356
01:06:10,440 --> 01:06:11,439
Speaker 3: That's sixteen years old.

1357
01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:13,240
Speaker 2: I remember I told myself that I was gonna drink

1358
01:06:13,240 --> 01:06:15,640
Speaker 2: when you turn twenty one, you know, And then God

1359
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:17,960
Speaker 2: told me straight up. He was like, no, I want

1360
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:18,360
Speaker 2: you doing that.

1361
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:21,320
Speaker 1: And I was like why And then and I shared

1362
01:06:21,320 --> 01:06:23,400
Speaker 1: this story on the podcast. Before that, I went to

1363
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:26,640
Speaker 1: TGI Fridays, that's what it's called TGI Fridays, Last Fridays.

1364
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 2: Who I just loved. Man, let me tell you something.

1365
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:31,360
Speaker 2: You used to tear them things up. And so I

1366
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:33,440
Speaker 2: looked on the back of the menu and it said

1367
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:37,880
Speaker 2: whine and spirits, and I said, oh yeah, spirits.

1368
01:06:37,880 --> 01:06:40,600
Speaker 3: It's like, why would I go take a liquid demon possession.

1369
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:43,320
Speaker 2: So I was like, I just won't drink, I said,

1370
01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:45,680
Speaker 2: because I started thinking to my brother, who I was

1371
01:06:45,720 --> 01:06:47,720
Speaker 2: really close to. I ain't seeing him about twenty some years.

1372
01:06:47,800 --> 01:06:49,960
Speaker 2: He's homeless and on drugs and all that. But at

1373
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:52,000
Speaker 2: that time we were thick as thieves. I was eighteen

1374
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:55,240
Speaker 2: years old, he was three years older than me, and

1375
01:06:55,280 --> 01:06:57,720
Speaker 2: he was talking about how I will watch how he

1376
01:06:57,760 --> 01:06:58,560
Speaker 2: would just change.

1377
01:06:58,600 --> 01:07:01,800
Speaker 3: He would drink. He was a very quiet dude. He'd drink.

1378
01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:04,520
Speaker 2: We getting kicked out the club because he's aggressive. He's

1379
01:07:04,560 --> 01:07:07,280
Speaker 2: acting crazy, grabbing on women. He had type that he

1380
01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:11,000
Speaker 2: real shy. He put that liquid courage in he grabbing

1381
01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:12,880
Speaker 2: women on the booty and all that, and we get

1382
01:07:12,920 --> 01:07:15,200
Speaker 2: thrown out by bounces, and I'm like, what is it

1383
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:16,520
Speaker 2: that makes this boy do this?

1384
01:07:16,640 --> 01:07:18,400
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. And I was just like,

1385
01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:19,320
Speaker 3: all right, cool.

1386
01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:23,560
Speaker 2: So when I saw Spirits, I started recognizing how it

1387
01:07:23,560 --> 01:07:27,040
Speaker 2: would transform the people that I loved, you know, and

1388
01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:28,200
Speaker 2: how they would act differently.

1389
01:07:28,240 --> 01:07:30,840
Speaker 1: And then God forbid. The next day we talk about

1390
01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:32,640
Speaker 1: and it was like, I don't remember doing that. I'm like,

1391
01:07:32,640 --> 01:07:34,919
Speaker 1: you don't remember, bro, man.

1392
01:07:35,280 --> 01:07:37,160
Speaker 2: I almost had to fight the bouncer because you did

1393
01:07:37,200 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 2: that for real, and then they wouldn't even know what happened.

1394
01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:42,120
Speaker 3: That scared me. I said, how in the world do

1395
01:07:42,200 --> 01:07:45,040
Speaker 3: you forget what happened five hours ago?

1396
01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:47,800
Speaker 2: Like, how did you forget that wasn't present? And so

1397
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:50,280
Speaker 2: at that young age, I said, I'll never drink and

1398
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:50,800
Speaker 2: just never have.

1399
01:07:51,640 --> 01:07:54,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's wisdom. I'm so glad to hear

1400
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:56,880
Speaker 1: that you said that, because I don't think there's enough

1401
01:07:56,920 --> 01:07:58,600
Speaker 1: people saying, you know, you don't got to do that,

1402
01:07:58,880 --> 01:08:01,680
Speaker 1: you don't got to actually never do it and you'll

1403
01:08:01,680 --> 01:08:03,520
Speaker 1: be fine, you'll be happy, you have a great life,

1404
01:08:04,640 --> 01:08:08,600
Speaker 1: save some money. Uh, there's I don't think there's a

1405
01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:12,080
Speaker 1: lot of we normalized it so much. Yeah, it's just

1406
01:08:12,120 --> 01:08:16,840
Speaker 1: another contrasts expectation. And then the reason why people drink

1407
01:08:17,080 --> 01:08:19,960
Speaker 1: for the first time might have been peer pressure or

1408
01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:23,439
Speaker 1: it's been not protected from the young folks who shouldn't

1409
01:08:23,439 --> 01:08:26,519
Speaker 1: be drinking are exposed to it. And the image of

1410
01:08:26,840 --> 01:08:29,080
Speaker 1: these is this is what men do. This is what

1411
01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:31,000
Speaker 1: a party looks like. That's what you do when people died.

1412
01:08:31,040 --> 01:08:32,519
Speaker 1: That's what people do when they celebrate. This is what

1413
01:08:32,560 --> 01:08:34,120
Speaker 1: people do when they're happy. This is what people do

1414
01:08:34,120 --> 01:08:37,000
Speaker 1: when they're lonely and sad and like, oh here I

1415
01:08:37,040 --> 01:08:39,600
Speaker 1: am about to go do that experience. You know what,

1416
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:43,640
Speaker 1: I need to drink. It's a traditional habit, so I

1417
01:08:43,800 --> 01:08:45,400
Speaker 1: try and work from a stressful day. I said, I

1418
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:45,920
Speaker 1: need to drink.

1419
01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:46,719
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

1420
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:48,519
Speaker 1: That brings me to I think what I think I'm

1421
01:08:48,520 --> 01:08:53,080
Speaker 1: doing with this relationship thing, like I'm designing my life

1422
01:08:53,920 --> 01:08:58,240
Speaker 1: and all the little metaphors and those sayings. I want

1423
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:01,120
Speaker 1: to co star and I want to co writ to

1424
01:09:01,240 --> 01:09:06,760
Speaker 1: my life, to do life with someone right. I know

1425
01:09:06,800 --> 01:09:09,360
Speaker 1: what I became when I became a father. It changed

1426
01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:16,120
Speaker 1: me and motivated me to work harder, to be more selfless,

1427
01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:19,240
Speaker 1: to be more emotional, being more in touch, be okay

1428
01:09:19,240 --> 01:09:25,920
Speaker 1: with emotions, to respect emotions. I imagine that marriage will

1429
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:27,719
Speaker 1: do a version of that that I've seen. Also when

1430
01:09:27,920 --> 01:09:30,080
Speaker 1: I'm in a loving relationship, if there's a version of

1431
01:09:30,120 --> 01:09:30,599
Speaker 1: that that comes.

1432
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:32,560
Speaker 3: But I think there's another level.

1433
01:09:33,960 --> 01:09:38,840
Speaker 1: And this relationship title becomes a vehicle for the transformation.

1434
01:09:38,960 --> 01:09:40,320
Speaker 3: So I look forward to that.

1435
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:43,800
Speaker 1: But I'm designing my life and until I have my

1436
01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:47,679
Speaker 1: co writer, I'm the writer of this thing, of course, God,

1437
01:09:48,160 --> 01:09:51,559
Speaker 1: But I'm also not going to pick another person just

1438
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:55,280
Speaker 1: to write the day, and write the season and write

1439
01:09:55,280 --> 01:09:57,519
Speaker 1: that year that. I don't know if you write well.

1440
01:09:58,160 --> 01:10:00,920
Speaker 1: I don't like what you be writing about. I want

1441
01:10:00,920 --> 01:10:04,439
Speaker 1: to do a comedy. You doing a horror movie. You

1442
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:07,200
Speaker 1: used that, that's cool. I'm so glad we know this

1443
01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:12,439
Speaker 1: early on early because we're not writing the same movie, yeah,

1444
01:10:13,120 --> 01:10:14,760
Speaker 1: and not writing the same book. I like the way

1445
01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:19,639
Speaker 1: you worded that. Do you have a dating age range preference?

1446
01:10:21,479 --> 01:10:26,080
Speaker 1: Like you're forty, I'm forty four, forty four the youngest

1447
01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:31,120
Speaker 1: I would get, Wow, what's the eest twenty nine?

1448
01:10:31,280 --> 01:10:35,960
Speaker 3: About to be thirty? Maybe when about fifteen years?

1449
01:10:35,960 --> 01:10:39,520
Speaker 1: Now? What I date older than me? I'm not against

1450
01:10:39,840 --> 01:10:44,880
Speaker 1: dating older than me. I don't think age is the

1451
01:10:44,880 --> 01:10:47,559
Speaker 1: criteria that I look at first. It's very late for

1452
01:10:47,840 --> 01:10:52,160
Speaker 1: as long as you're an adult, I'm like, okay, cool, right.

1453
01:10:52,400 --> 01:10:56,679
Speaker 1: But I also know that there's some immature fifty year olds. Absolutely,

1454
01:10:56,720 --> 01:10:59,960
Speaker 1: I know that there's some mature twenty seven eight year

1455
01:11:00,040 --> 01:11:02,479
Speaker 1: old baby.

1456
01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:05,960
Speaker 3: I'm not against it, it's just pridably not likely. Do

1457
01:11:06,080 --> 01:11:08,759
Speaker 3: you want kids? That's a good question.

1458
01:11:08,920 --> 01:11:12,840
Speaker 1: I would have another child, But depending on the women

1459
01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:16,360
Speaker 1: that I'm dating, there's a danger zone like this mid thirties.

1460
01:11:16,400 --> 01:11:19,040
Speaker 1: It's like I'm clock and I'm like, well, I'm not

1461
01:11:19,120 --> 01:11:22,240
Speaker 1: rushing that. It's like, I'm not rushing nothing. My food

1462
01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:25,439
Speaker 1: ain't gonna break, but I'm not smashing the gas. If

1463
01:11:25,479 --> 01:11:28,080
Speaker 1: it don't feel right, it don't feel right. If it

1464
01:11:28,080 --> 01:11:31,200
Speaker 1: don't make sense, it don't make sense to me. But

1465
01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:34,240
Speaker 1: there are also some women who are like, I already

1466
01:11:34,280 --> 01:11:36,040
Speaker 1: have a grown kid. I don't want to start over.

1467
01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:38,080
Speaker 1: There are women who are like, I can't have kids.

1468
01:11:38,160 --> 01:11:41,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not discriminating on the age thing or

1469
01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:44,559
Speaker 1: the health thing or the body thing or it just depends.

1470
01:11:44,680 --> 01:11:46,160
Speaker 1: And there are women who are like, I've waited my

1471
01:11:46,280 --> 01:11:47,760
Speaker 1: entire life to have a child, and I want to

1472
01:11:47,760 --> 01:11:49,280
Speaker 1: have it with my husband, and I want to go

1473
01:11:49,479 --> 01:11:53,880
Speaker 1: husband mean child. And I'm like, that's a clock. Thang

1474
01:11:53,920 --> 01:11:55,639
Speaker 1: my clock. That's your clock. And now we got a clock,

1475
01:11:56,120 --> 01:11:59,000
Speaker 1: so it's not your block because it ain't my clock.

1476
01:11:59,200 --> 01:12:01,200
Speaker 1: You got to take it her our closs. He's co

1477
01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:04,400
Speaker 1: writing is our clock, it's our clock. Your name on

1478
01:12:04,439 --> 01:12:06,880
Speaker 1: that clock. Yeah, And I'm gonna deal with that clock

1479
01:12:07,080 --> 01:12:09,640
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna deal with it. But the question is

1480
01:12:09,640 --> 01:12:14,639
Speaker 1: what you deal with it? If you only get I'm

1481
01:12:14,640 --> 01:12:16,240
Speaker 1: a Laker fan. Do you watch basketball?

1482
01:12:16,479 --> 01:12:19,040
Speaker 2: Sometimes there are times exactly when they actually make it

1483
01:12:19,080 --> 01:12:20,240
Speaker 2: to the playoffs, and I watch.

1484
01:12:20,160 --> 01:12:22,120
Speaker 1: There are times in sports where you see a last

1485
01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:24,680
Speaker 1: minute miracle, right. Yeah, it's like, oh, we need to

1486
01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:28,360
Speaker 1: score or we're gonna lose. Yep, there's three seconds, ten seconds,

1487
01:12:28,560 --> 01:12:31,000
Speaker 1: one second. Yeah, the buzzer beat it, right. I remember

1488
01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:33,559
Speaker 1: Derek Fisher in the playoffs had a four set. It

1489
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:37,200
Speaker 1: was like a point, like the touch turn and shoot. Yeah,

1490
01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:39,960
Speaker 1: don't give me that for no. Baby told me like,

1491
01:12:40,120 --> 01:12:43,480
Speaker 1: you got to propose, get married, execute a wedding, and

1492
01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:46,320
Speaker 1: then and then get pregnant before this number on a calendar,

1493
01:12:46,600 --> 01:12:49,000
Speaker 1: so that you could feel good about a thing or

1494
01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:52,920
Speaker 1: health things, or before your mama die and sha on

1495
01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:57,000
Speaker 1: our way out or daddy like grandma. It's like you

1496
01:12:57,040 --> 01:13:01,759
Speaker 1: realize the clock, say this is not my clock. If

1497
01:13:01,800 --> 01:13:03,080
Speaker 1: I never have another kid, I'm cool.

1498
01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:06,439
Speaker 3: But your co writer and I care about that. I

1499
01:13:06,880 --> 01:13:07,800
Speaker 3: hold that the co.

1500
01:13:07,840 --> 01:13:10,160
Speaker 2: Writer went to the doctor and the doctor said, hey, listen,

1501
01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:13,400
Speaker 2: you got about yep. They said, hey listen, you know

1502
01:13:13,439 --> 01:13:15,240
Speaker 2: you're in the geriatric YEP.

1503
01:13:15,640 --> 01:13:16,800
Speaker 3: That pissed some people.

1504
01:13:16,920 --> 01:13:23,920
Speaker 1: I did a post, bro what you say in the post.

1505
01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:29,439
Speaker 1: I was trolling, okay, and I was giving advice to

1506
01:13:29,520 --> 01:13:31,920
Speaker 1: young men as a young elder.

1507
01:13:32,560 --> 01:13:33,639
Speaker 3: Oh boy, what did you say?

1508
01:13:33,680 --> 01:13:37,320
Speaker 1: I said, Hey, it might sound like funds and games,

1509
01:13:37,600 --> 01:13:42,360
Speaker 1: young fellas dating a cougar in parentheses, thirty five year

1510
01:13:42,400 --> 01:13:47,439
Speaker 1: old first shot. But you might want to learn about

1511
01:13:47,479 --> 01:13:50,360
Speaker 1: these things. I didn't say you might not want to

1512
01:13:50,439 --> 01:13:50,840
Speaker 1: date them.

1513
01:13:50,960 --> 01:13:52,559
Speaker 3: You said learn. You might want to learn.

1514
01:13:53,240 --> 01:13:56,360
Speaker 1: And they're intentionally things that I know hit women, but

1515
01:13:56,439 --> 01:13:58,280
Speaker 1: men also are affected by it, especially if you are

1516
01:13:58,360 --> 01:14:01,960
Speaker 1: a son, your boyfriend, your husband, your brother. Just learn

1517
01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:05,640
Speaker 1: about these things that most men don't know about, like sciatica.

1518
01:14:05,920 --> 01:14:10,280
Speaker 1: Yeah right, I've dated so many psiatic.

1519
01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:12,799
Speaker 3: Ladies.

1520
01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:15,599
Speaker 1: And it's not an age thing. It's not thirty five,

1521
01:14:15,640 --> 01:14:18,000
Speaker 1: and it's not a gender thing. But there is a

1522
01:14:18,080 --> 01:14:22,160
Speaker 1: thing that happens. Can you stretch me out? Can you

1523
01:14:22,200 --> 01:14:23,640
Speaker 1: give me a massage? Can you have me in a

1524
01:14:23,640 --> 01:14:25,000
Speaker 1: heat and pain? Can you give me my pain?

1525
01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:25,559
Speaker 3: Mans?

1526
01:14:26,120 --> 01:14:27,639
Speaker 1: I'm dealing with that. I gotta stand up. I gotta

1527
01:14:27,640 --> 01:14:30,559
Speaker 1: send that like siatica is a thing. Yes, And if

1528
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:34,799
Speaker 1: you want to have grace and compassion for your partner

1529
01:14:34,800 --> 01:14:37,280
Speaker 1: who might have a little nerve issue, and.

1530
01:14:37,280 --> 01:14:38,679
Speaker 3: You're like what's wrong with this lady back?

1531
01:14:40,560 --> 01:14:43,519
Speaker 1: You need to know what sataka is pcos Yes, right,

1532
01:14:44,200 --> 01:14:48,080
Speaker 1: I don't have that body, but that's not something that

1533
01:14:48,800 --> 01:14:50,280
Speaker 1: just older women experience.

1534
01:14:50,400 --> 01:14:55,000
Speaker 3: Right. One of the terms was geriatric pregnancy, and you

1535
01:14:55,040 --> 01:14:56,200
Speaker 3: put that on the post.

1536
01:14:56,400 --> 01:15:01,600
Speaker 1: I was like, just like I said, ovulation horne, I

1537
01:15:01,600 --> 01:15:05,080
Speaker 1: said ovulation sex drive. That's not a shot, no, right,

1538
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:06,680
Speaker 1: Like you might want to know about that if you

1539
01:15:06,680 --> 01:15:08,719
Speaker 1: ain't ready to get taken down and be snatched across

1540
01:15:08,720 --> 01:15:11,320
Speaker 1: the bed by your ankles. You might want to know

1541
01:15:12,360 --> 01:15:16,840
Speaker 1: what happens to some women when they're ovulating, young man. Yes, right,

1542
01:15:18,560 --> 01:15:23,840
Speaker 1: And I said jerirect the pregnancy. It got hundreds and

1543
01:15:23,920 --> 01:15:29,599
Speaker 1: thousands of comments in less than twelve hours. Really, it

1544
01:15:29,640 --> 01:15:31,800
Speaker 1: was on Threads and I designed it. I had a

1545
01:15:31,800 --> 01:15:33,200
Speaker 1: friend with me at the time. I was like, oh,

1546
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:35,800
Speaker 1: they're going to go crazy over this one because I

1547
01:15:35,840 --> 01:15:37,920
Speaker 1: knew the tone that I was writing in felt like

1548
01:15:38,040 --> 01:15:43,120
Speaker 1: what I think the trolls do. But mine wasn't devaluing

1549
01:15:43,120 --> 01:15:45,720
Speaker 1: women at a certain age other than thirty five as

1550
01:15:45,760 --> 01:15:48,720
Speaker 1: a cougar, which we know is like a joke if

1551
01:15:48,720 --> 01:15:53,080
Speaker 1: you think about it. But there were so many people

1552
01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:56,240
Speaker 1: who are pissed about the term geriatric pregnancy, and these

1553
01:15:56,240 --> 01:15:59,559
Speaker 1: are women like, that's not the term. I was like,

1554
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:02,720
Speaker 1: it is the term, and it was if they've made

1555
01:16:02,720 --> 01:16:05,080
Speaker 1: a new word, like we used to be called negro.

1556
01:16:06,760 --> 01:16:09,680
Speaker 3: If I call you my negro, it's because that's what

1557
01:16:09,760 --> 01:16:10,720
Speaker 3: we used to call each other.

1558
01:16:10,880 --> 01:16:16,240
Speaker 1: Exactly, no disrespect, my guy. It's a term that is

1559
01:16:16,240 --> 01:16:20,000
Speaker 1: a medical term. It's not a street term exactly. Women

1560
01:16:20,439 --> 01:16:23,519
Speaker 1: people who said that they were in medical fields were like,

1561
01:16:23,600 --> 01:16:24,679
Speaker 1: that's never been a term.

1562
01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:27,680
Speaker 3: I said, I got a six year old daughter. I

1563
01:16:27,760 --> 01:16:30,320
Speaker 3: remember hearing the doctor saying.

1564
01:16:30,080 --> 01:16:32,240
Speaker 1: That this is and why it's something we should be

1565
01:16:32,240 --> 01:16:34,240
Speaker 1: careful about, and why there's gonna be a certain plan

1566
01:16:34,280 --> 01:16:37,799
Speaker 1: of certain appointments, you got to do certain tests because

1567
01:16:37,840 --> 01:16:39,960
Speaker 1: it's a geriatric pregnancy. And I was like, that's not

1568
01:16:40,000 --> 01:16:44,960
Speaker 1: a shot. That's a term that five and up. There

1569
01:16:44,960 --> 01:16:46,479
Speaker 1: are so many women who did not know that was

1570
01:16:46,520 --> 01:16:49,320
Speaker 1: a term. And it's on the internet. I didn't delete it.

1571
01:16:49,320 --> 01:16:52,400
Speaker 1: It's still up there. People call me all kinds of

1572
01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:59,000
Speaker 1: names because I used words that were not an attact.

1573
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:00,840
Speaker 3: It's not an attact.

1574
01:17:00,920 --> 01:17:04,160
Speaker 1: But it's the internet, so you said, so it's really

1575
01:17:04,280 --> 01:17:05,840
Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of comments.

1576
01:17:06,080 --> 01:17:07,519
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I did it as a point.

1577
01:17:07,600 --> 01:17:09,680
Speaker 1: I was like, every day I posted a gratitude, every

1578
01:17:09,720 --> 01:17:12,040
Speaker 1: day I posted a question. Every day I posted a

1579
01:17:12,120 --> 01:17:16,160
Speaker 1: topic about communication or conflict mediation or healthy connection, and

1580
01:17:16,600 --> 01:17:20,639
Speaker 1: I might get a hundred I might get a thousand

1581
01:17:20,800 --> 01:17:23,559
Speaker 1: views on this one. It's this good question, maybe ten

1582
01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:26,679
Speaker 1: thousand a quiz, maybe like forty thousand.

1583
01:17:26,920 --> 01:17:29,200
Speaker 3: And I was like, it's.

1584
01:17:29,080 --> 01:17:32,760
Speaker 1: Weird that the algorithm knows what people pay attention to.

1585
01:17:33,320 --> 01:17:35,519
Speaker 1: And you can lie all you want about who you are,

1586
01:17:35,600 --> 01:17:37,960
Speaker 1: but your algorithm will show you who you are. He

1587
01:17:38,080 --> 01:17:40,120
Speaker 1: knows what I like. It showed to me every day

1588
01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:43,120
Speaker 1: and know what I like, and my algorithm might not

1589
01:17:43,120 --> 01:17:45,479
Speaker 1: look like you are. Even if it's viral, it ain't

1590
01:17:45,479 --> 01:17:47,680
Speaker 1: going to show you the same viral. But even if

1591
01:17:47,680 --> 01:17:50,200
Speaker 1: it ain't viral, it's like I think, Rob, mighty right,

1592
01:17:50,360 --> 01:17:54,599
Speaker 1: that's what's right here, And I'd be like, oh, thank you, algorithm,

1593
01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:58,360
Speaker 1: save send like unlikely, I don't want people to see

1594
01:17:58,360 --> 01:18:02,559
Speaker 1: it anymore. On Instagram. They're telling on us when you

1595
01:18:02,680 --> 01:18:06,240
Speaker 1: like it, they tell you people, Rob just like like, yeah,

1596
01:18:06,880 --> 01:18:10,960
Speaker 1: I did not I like it. Internally, I screenshoted it.

1597
01:18:12,720 --> 01:18:15,080
Speaker 1: I will never follow you. But I wrote down your

1598
01:18:15,120 --> 01:18:21,439
Speaker 1: knee because it's valuable information that you provide. I feel

1599
01:18:21,479 --> 01:18:26,599
Speaker 1: studious on your page Amen, val information of course, talking

1600
01:18:26,640 --> 01:18:30,960
Speaker 1: about informative pages about relationships and podcasts that talk about

1601
01:18:31,040 --> 01:18:33,960
Speaker 1: finance and spirit and health. But you didn't want people

1602
01:18:34,000 --> 01:18:35,840
Speaker 1: to see that. No, I don't want them to know that.

1603
01:18:35,880 --> 01:18:38,960
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about that.

1604
01:18:40,840 --> 01:18:42,639
Speaker 3: Do you tell everybody who you be following?

1605
01:18:42,680 --> 01:18:45,120
Speaker 1: The secrets follower like you, a ghost follower like you

1606
01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:47,000
Speaker 1: in the audience, but you like, I ain't gonna ticket

1607
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:51,240
Speaker 1: to be here. I'm not wearing the band shirt, but

1608
01:18:51,320 --> 01:18:55,760
Speaker 1: I love and know every song Row.

1609
01:18:57,040 --> 01:18:58,800
Speaker 3: How can we support you what you got going on?

1610
01:18:59,040 --> 01:19:01,880
Speaker 1: I got a hoodie, says he because I'm trying. I'm

1611
01:19:01,880 --> 01:19:03,439
Speaker 1: not done because I don't think everybody. That's why I

1612
01:19:03,439 --> 01:19:06,120
Speaker 1: don't say healed. I'm not there yet and I don't

1613
01:19:06,120 --> 01:19:09,000
Speaker 1: think nobody gonna get there. On my website, mister Howard

1614
01:19:09,040 --> 01:19:11,720
Speaker 1: three six five dot com, I have a lot of resources.

1615
01:19:11,760 --> 01:19:15,439
Speaker 1: Have a deck that has conversation started questions and call

1616
01:19:15,479 --> 01:19:19,960
Speaker 1: them good questions. It's fifty six of them. Because I

1617
01:19:20,000 --> 01:19:21,920
Speaker 1: think some of those decks that people buy are like

1618
01:19:22,040 --> 01:19:25,080
Speaker 1: AI and people who don't like, why are you selling car?

1619
01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:29,400
Speaker 1: You don't even talk, You're a gardener. Sir, ma'am, you're

1620
01:19:29,400 --> 01:19:32,559
Speaker 1: a chef. You you invented a card deck and put

1621
01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:34,479
Speaker 1: it in the target. And now these people are buying questions,

1622
01:19:34,520 --> 01:19:37,280
Speaker 1: and some of them are foolish. As a facilitator who

1623
01:19:37,360 --> 01:19:40,559
Speaker 1: uses questions for a living, I curated a list. I

1624
01:19:40,560 --> 01:19:46,599
Speaker 1: have journals. I have journals for singles. I have a

1625
01:19:46,640 --> 01:19:50,080
Speaker 1: deck of spicy questions to have people talk about sex, kink,

1626
01:19:50,160 --> 01:19:53,360
Speaker 1: fantasy and pleasure. Hopefully when they get married they can

1627
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:55,519
Speaker 1: have an idea what they're gonna get themself into and

1628
01:19:55,560 --> 01:19:57,240
Speaker 1: what they're gonna do to each other. Because it's underfiled,

1629
01:19:57,240 --> 01:19:58,600
Speaker 1: and there is what I heard. I can't wait to

1630
01:19:58,640 --> 01:19:58,880
Speaker 1: get there.

1631
01:19:58,880 --> 01:19:59,160
Speaker 3: That's why.

1632
01:19:59,240 --> 01:20:02,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I almost some undefied. I had the filed. But

1633
01:20:02,280 --> 01:20:04,439
Speaker 1: you know, if you want to support me, help me,

1634
01:20:04,560 --> 01:20:07,120
Speaker 1: you know you've had defiled. I've been a the filer.

1635
01:20:08,240 --> 01:20:10,400
Speaker 1: I've been defiled. I've asked for it, I've signed up,

1636
01:20:11,040 --> 01:20:16,160
Speaker 1: I drove it. I'm hubert, I'll circled back. I redefiled myself.

1637
01:20:16,160 --> 01:20:22,040
Speaker 1: You had ever redefiled yourself? Hey, hey, I like that.

1638
01:20:22,080 --> 01:20:25,240
Speaker 1: Can you defile me again? Or is it not possible?

1639
01:20:25,280 --> 01:20:27,519
Speaker 1: You've done the filer?

1640
01:20:28,360 --> 01:20:33,040
Speaker 3: Support me? I have a decond, spicy questions.

1641
01:20:34,800 --> 01:20:37,000
Speaker 1: I'm I'm gonna be releasing some stuff before my birthday

1642
01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:39,719
Speaker 1: in December that I think are some valubas your birthday

1643
01:20:39,720 --> 01:20:44,040
Speaker 1: December fifteenth. Yeah, I had the date of when I'm

1644
01:20:44,040 --> 01:20:45,240
Speaker 1: gonna drop this episode.

1645
01:20:45,880 --> 01:20:46,840
Speaker 3: I remember what it was.

1646
01:20:49,240 --> 01:20:53,080
Speaker 1: I promise you you're gonna remember at least defiled the filer.

1647
01:20:53,280 --> 01:20:58,760
Speaker 1: The filer redefiled. I guarantee that's that's one.

1648
01:20:58,680 --> 01:21:00,679
Speaker 3: Of the ones. You were like, yeah, read the file.

1649
01:21:00,960 --> 01:21:01,800
Speaker 3: You about to get married?

1650
01:21:02,120 --> 01:21:07,920
Speaker 1: No second, watched the Live Street Jesus, when you get married,

1651
01:21:07,920 --> 01:21:11,320
Speaker 1: does it undefiled all the defiling that happened before. Yeah,

1652
01:21:11,320 --> 01:21:13,599
Speaker 1: if you sold top break, if you break the soul ties,

1653
01:21:13,640 --> 01:21:17,240
Speaker 1: which uh my fiance and I we did. We did

1654
01:21:17,280 --> 01:21:20,080
Speaker 1: a whole ceremony where we want to just break off

1655
01:21:20,240 --> 01:21:22,600
Speaker 1: every soul tie we ever had, And there was a

1656
01:21:22,680 --> 01:21:25,600
Speaker 1: whole ceremony that we did. It was it was, it

1657
01:21:25,640 --> 01:21:27,880
Speaker 1: was beautiful. I'll show people that. I'll show people that

1658
01:21:28,080 --> 01:21:29,960
Speaker 1: you could do it. You could do a web course

1659
01:21:30,000 --> 01:21:32,120
Speaker 1: and sell that. That's why I'm planning on doing.

1660
01:21:32,240 --> 01:21:33,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta sell that.

1661
01:21:33,320 --> 01:21:39,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, some of defile people out here, I'll defow with them.

1662
01:21:40,160 --> 01:21:41,280
Speaker 3: People need it. That's what I'm saying.

1663
01:21:41,280 --> 01:21:42,680
Speaker 1: There's a headache that people have that you got the

1664
01:21:42,720 --> 01:21:45,680
Speaker 1: medicine for. You can fix that. You don't know why

1665
01:21:45,680 --> 01:21:47,439
Speaker 1: it ain't working because y'all still tied up. You got

1666
01:21:47,439 --> 01:21:51,120
Speaker 1: all these ties. You defiled white. I could sell that.

1667
01:21:51,240 --> 01:21:53,679
Speaker 3: Because it's in need. People out here defiling each other,

1668
01:21:53,800 --> 01:21:54,760
Speaker 3: defiling themselves.

1669
01:21:55,160 --> 01:22:02,080
Speaker 1: You heard of barrows. That's crazy. They nade it after

1670
01:22:02,120 --> 01:22:05,600
Speaker 1: one of the most beautiful flowers. Now, I gotta be

1671
01:22:05,600 --> 01:22:09,000
Speaker 1: careful what I'm talking about. I don't know, Syrien know

1672
01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:11,880
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about when I'm talking about it. Look

1673
01:22:11,880 --> 01:22:15,280
Speaker 1: at that lady with that rose. That's beautiful. It's like

1674
01:22:15,560 --> 01:22:18,639
Speaker 1: the wrong thing. Come up, what algorithm? If you don't

1675
01:22:18,720 --> 01:22:21,960
Speaker 1: chill out of here, this is getting crazy. But thank

1676
01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:26,960
Speaker 1: you let me scream you shot it. Let me not

1677
01:22:27,040 --> 01:22:30,080
Speaker 1: like yeah, let me unlike it. Just blink twice at it,

1678
01:22:30,200 --> 01:22:34,200
Speaker 1: like yeah, that is true? Though? Is that funny how

1679
01:22:34,240 --> 01:22:37,439
Speaker 1: they don't take like the most innocent thing and then

1680
01:22:37,520 --> 01:22:40,400
Speaker 1: defile it, like I said, and like we're laughing about it,

1681
01:22:40,400 --> 01:22:42,040
Speaker 1: But it's like that is true. You take the most

1682
01:22:42,040 --> 01:22:45,320
Speaker 1: beautiful flower or rose and then defile it. And then

1683
01:22:45,400 --> 01:22:47,600
Speaker 1: now you say rose, it has a different connotation, like

1684
01:22:47,680 --> 01:22:50,559
Speaker 1: water park. I've been to a water park before, but

1685
01:22:50,600 --> 01:22:52,880
Speaker 1: now it means something different. And I'm like, do I

1686
01:22:52,920 --> 01:22:57,519
Speaker 1: want to go to the water park? Do I want

1687
01:22:57,560 --> 01:22:59,680
Speaker 1: to take off my shirt around all these people at

1688
01:22:59,720 --> 01:23:04,280
Speaker 1: the water apart whoever's at the water park? Am I am?

1689
01:23:04,280 --> 01:23:07,960
Speaker 3: I willing to get in the waters? Can I swim?

1690
01:23:09,320 --> 01:23:11,960
Speaker 1: I want to swim? He's a good question, he said.

1691
01:23:11,960 --> 01:23:15,200
Speaker 1: Aquafina have a different different supers a black man. Have

1692
01:23:15,280 --> 01:23:22,599
Speaker 1: bet that God in it that I like superstokers. It's

1693
01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:27,400
Speaker 1: a valuable thing. What but now, what are we talking about?

1694
01:23:27,520 --> 01:23:27,920
Speaker 1: We don't know.

1695
01:23:28,040 --> 01:23:30,519
Speaker 3: Somebody walking around there like what y'all talking about? I

1696
01:23:30,520 --> 01:23:33,559
Speaker 3: don't even know what you hear? Is a super soaker?

1697
01:23:35,600 --> 01:23:35,800
Speaker 1: God?

1698
01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:38,439
Speaker 3: All good things good God.

1699
01:23:38,720 --> 01:23:41,160
Speaker 1: All good things come from the Lord, he said it?

1700
01:23:42,280 --> 01:23:44,080
Speaker 1: Or is that a Black church thing? I don't know,

1701
01:23:44,880 --> 01:23:50,040
Speaker 1: but they say it. I believe it. It sounds right,

1702
01:23:51,040 --> 01:23:59,800
Speaker 1: all good things the right. Thank you so much, Thank

1703
01:23:59,840 --> 01:24:02,960
Speaker 1: you so mush a bien On a Differ Future Wife podcast, Hey,

1704
01:24:03,120 --> 01:24:11,720
Speaker 1: y'all give it up for my homies, but the father. Yeah,

1705
01:24:12,200 --> 01:24:14,320
Speaker 1: stay tuned to the end for a letter to my

1706
01:24:14,360 --> 01:24:25,120
Speaker 1: future wife. Writing these love letters. Ladarian thrust it suddenly

1707
01:24:25,280 --> 01:24:29,799
Speaker 1: into child protective services. In twenty fifteen, my nephew, black

1708
01:24:30,560 --> 01:24:33,919
Speaker 1: a boy. The likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship

1709
01:24:34,680 --> 01:24:39,920
Speaker 1: slim to none? Rmione, sixteen years old, black a boy

1710
01:24:40,320 --> 01:24:42,920
Speaker 1: with five years in the foster care system before I

1711
01:24:42,960 --> 01:24:46,640
Speaker 1: even knew his name. The likelihood have ever been adopted?

1712
01:24:47,520 --> 01:24:49,960
Speaker 3: Yep, you guessed it. Slim to none.

1713
01:24:51,479 --> 01:24:54,479
Speaker 1: While Ladarian and Ourmiani were trying to survive and barely

1714
01:24:54,520 --> 01:24:58,000
Speaker 1: thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded Falster care system, I

1715
01:24:58,040 --> 01:25:01,400
Speaker 1: was living my own life, doing well per having been

1716
01:25:01,439 --> 01:25:03,639
Speaker 1: a single father with a daughter who at that point

1717
01:25:03,680 --> 01:25:06,080
Speaker 1: was doing well in college. It was my time to

1718
01:25:06,080 --> 01:25:12,680
Speaker 1: live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.

1719
01:25:13,600 --> 01:25:16,960
Speaker 1: There are just two many of our black children stuck

1720
01:25:17,240 --> 01:25:20,760
Speaker 1: in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falter care system.

1721
01:25:21,240 --> 01:25:24,360
Speaker 1: In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian.

1722
01:25:25,000 --> 01:25:27,479
Speaker 3: Fast forward to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to

1723
01:25:27,520 --> 01:25:28,120
Speaker 3: this other.

1724
01:25:27,960 --> 01:25:30,599
Speaker 1: Young king, but I felt God instructed me to adopt

1725
01:25:30,600 --> 01:25:34,080
Speaker 1: them also on al Babe. Starting over with parenting should

1726
01:25:34,120 --> 01:25:35,040
Speaker 1: have been enough.

1727
01:25:35,120 --> 01:25:35,280
Speaker 3: Right.

1728
01:25:35,320 --> 01:25:38,080
Speaker 1: Working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help

1729
01:25:38,120 --> 01:25:41,240
Speaker 1: bring awareness to the countless young Black Kings and the

1730
01:25:41,240 --> 01:25:45,719
Speaker 1: Falster care system should have decreased my agitation. Right, Joining

1731
01:25:45,760 --> 01:25:48,720
Speaker 1: the board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and organization

1732
01:25:48,800 --> 01:25:52,000
Speaker 1: that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in false

1733
01:25:52,120 --> 01:25:56,360
Speaker 1: care should have led to some type of resolve. Right, No,

1734
01:25:56,400 --> 01:25:59,320
Speaker 1: not at all. None of it felt like I had

1735
01:25:59,360 --> 01:26:03,960
Speaker 1: done enough. I now realize that every one of those

1736
01:26:04,040 --> 01:26:07,880
Speaker 1: experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

1737
01:26:08,800 --> 01:26:09,639
Speaker 3: Kingdom Royal.

1738
01:26:10,560 --> 01:26:13,240
Speaker 1: Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art

1739
01:26:13,280 --> 01:26:16,479
Speaker 1: home for foster boys. Our first location will be in

1740
01:26:16,520 --> 01:26:19,519
Speaker 1: the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. We will utilize the whole

1741
01:26:19,600 --> 01:26:24,240
Speaker 1: person approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate for themselves,

1742
01:26:24,439 --> 01:26:28,599
Speaker 1: and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless options that

1743
01:26:28,640 --> 01:26:33,240
Speaker 1: they thought were impossible. Though the young Kings will attend

1744
01:26:33,240 --> 01:26:36,519
Speaker 1: the local public schools that are in proximity to Kingdom Royal.

1745
01:26:36,960 --> 01:26:40,800
Speaker 1: Our at home curriculum will broaden their worldview through participating

1746
01:26:40,800 --> 01:26:44,360
Speaker 1: in the arts, attending various cultural events, learning about and

1747
01:26:44,479 --> 01:26:48,960
Speaker 1: engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events and even relevant

1748
01:26:49,040 --> 01:26:53,439
Speaker 1: historical contexts, introducing them to gardening and landscaping, and even

1749
01:26:53,560 --> 01:26:55,719
Speaker 1: caring for our animals on our.

1750
01:26:55,640 --> 01:26:57,320
Speaker 3: Form and on site stables.

1751
01:26:58,000 --> 01:27:01,519
Speaker 1: We just launched our startup campaign with the goal of

1752
01:27:01,600 --> 01:27:03,800
Speaker 1: raising two point eight million dollars. Now why two point

1753
01:27:03,840 --> 01:27:07,080
Speaker 1: eight million dollars. Well, In twenty seventeen, I created a

1754
01:27:07,080 --> 01:27:10,200
Speaker 1: web series in which I performed random acts of kindness

1755
01:27:10,240 --> 01:27:13,160
Speaker 1: for targeting the homeless community. One of the most notable

1756
01:27:13,200 --> 01:27:16,560
Speaker 1: successes was that one of the videos went viral, garnering

1757
01:27:16,680 --> 01:27:21,280
Speaker 1: twenty eight million views. However, one of my biggest regrets

1758
01:27:21,400 --> 01:27:23,679
Speaker 1: is that I didn't raise a single dollar to help

1759
01:27:23,680 --> 01:27:27,680
Speaker 1: in implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community.

1760
01:27:27,880 --> 01:27:31,880
Speaker 1: So throughout the years, with much remorse, I reflect that

1761
01:27:31,960 --> 01:27:33,599
Speaker 1: I'm not maximizing that moment.

1762
01:27:33,640 --> 01:27:34,840
Speaker 3: I knew if at that.

1763
01:27:34,880 --> 01:27:38,080
Speaker 1: Time just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar,

1764
01:27:38,600 --> 01:27:41,759
Speaker 1: we would have raised at least two point eight million

1765
01:27:41,840 --> 01:27:44,680
Speaker 1: dollars that could have really established long term support for

1766
01:27:44,720 --> 01:27:48,000
Speaker 1: the homeless community, or at least started a long term

1767
01:27:48,000 --> 01:27:52,599
Speaker 1: initiative to do so. This is my do over, this

1768
01:27:52,800 --> 01:27:54,160
Speaker 1: is our new beginning.

1769
01:27:54,320 --> 01:27:57,880
Speaker 2: Together, we can attack this at the root by specifically

1770
01:27:57,920 --> 01:28:03,080
Speaker 2: helping our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented

1771
01:28:03,240 --> 01:28:04,400
Speaker 2: in the American.

1772
01:28:04,000 --> 01:28:07,960
Speaker 1: Fossil care system. I'm a Terrassawa Field. I've been nominated

1773
01:28:07,960 --> 01:28:11,040
Speaker 1: for three regional Emmys documenting my work with the homeless

1774
01:28:11,160 --> 01:28:15,040
Speaker 1: as well as my personal adoption journey. Despite those accolades,

1775
01:28:15,680 --> 01:28:19,960
Speaker 1: the greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure

1776
01:28:20,160 --> 01:28:24,439
Speaker 1: for a transformed life. Visit Kingdom Royal dot com for

1777
01:28:24,520 --> 01:28:36,000
Speaker 1: more details Crown of King and make a donation today. Man,

1778
01:28:36,000 --> 01:28:37,360
Speaker 1: I love when I get a chance to chop it

1779
01:28:37,400 --> 01:28:40,840
Speaker 1: up with my brothers and just that's how men talk.

1780
01:28:40,960 --> 01:28:45,040
Speaker 1: We gonna y'all got an inside look into how men talk.

1781
01:28:45,280 --> 01:28:45,960
Speaker 3: So it was fun.

1782
01:28:46,160 --> 01:28:48,000
Speaker 1: Well, here's my favorite part of the podcast where I

1783
01:28:48,000 --> 01:28:51,519
Speaker 1: speak to my future wifey, Dear future wifey, with you,

1784
01:28:52,360 --> 01:28:55,960
Speaker 1: love feels like home. It's the warmth of sunlight after

1785
01:28:56,000 --> 01:28:59,160
Speaker 1: a long night, the calm after a raging storm. Your

1786
01:28:59,200 --> 01:29:06,040
Speaker 1: presence makes the ordinary feel extraordinary. Suddenly, laughter's louder, silences softer,

1787
01:29:06,560 --> 01:29:10,360
Speaker 1: and time moves with a rhythm that dances to our heartbeat.

1788
01:29:10,800 --> 01:29:14,000
Speaker 1: Love with You feel safe, like I can finally exhale

1789
01:29:14,120 --> 01:29:17,639
Speaker 1: without fear of being misunderstood. It feels alive, like fire

1790
01:29:17,680 --> 01:29:19,960
Speaker 1: that never burns. Out but always glows.

1791
01:29:20,600 --> 01:29:23,960
Speaker 2: It feels like a melody I've been humming my whole life,

1792
01:29:24,000 --> 01:29:27,120
Speaker 2: but never knew the words to until you walked.

1793
01:29:26,840 --> 01:29:29,759
Speaker 3: In and gave the song meaning.

1794
01:29:30,920 --> 01:29:33,479
Speaker 1: You are the evidence that God still writes poetry and

1795
01:29:33,560 --> 01:29:36,600
Speaker 1: human form. You are the echo of answered prayers. I

1796
01:29:36,640 --> 01:29:41,040
Speaker 1: didn't even have the language to pray with you. Love

1797
01:29:41,120 --> 01:29:44,560
Speaker 1: feels less like a search and more like a discovery

1798
01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:47,280
Speaker 1: that what I longed for was never far.

1799
01:29:47,840 --> 01:29:50,599
Speaker 3: It was simply waiting for divine timing.

1800
01:29:51,120 --> 01:29:56,920
Speaker 1: With you. Love feels like forever, and forever doesn't seem

1801
01:29:56,920 --> 01:29:57,559
Speaker 1: long enough.

1802
01:29:58,520 --> 01:29:59,360
Speaker 3: Your future hubby.

1803
01:30:00,080 --> 01:30:02,439
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future

1804
01:30:02,439 --> 01:30:07,960
Speaker 1: WIFEI podcast. Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently, and

1805
01:30:08,040 --> 01:30:10,960
Speaker 1: don't stop loving. Make sure to subscribe to our Dear

1806
01:30:10,960 --> 01:30:15,479
Speaker 1: Future Wife YouTube channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify,

1807
01:30:15,520 --> 01:30:16,000
Speaker 1: and Stitcher.

1808
01:30:16,240 --> 01:30:19,080
Speaker 3: Be welcome your support. Simply share our podcasts with your

1809
01:30:19,080 --> 01:30:19,799
Speaker 3: friends and family.