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Speaker 1: A lot of people keep asking, what's gonna happen to

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Speaker 1: the Differutuwivy podcast when you get married. Well, I know

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Speaker 1: some of y'all have seen on social media my big announcement.

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Speaker 1: I am engaged. I try not to address the negativity

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Speaker 1: because I love to celebrate all the love that has

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Speaker 1: been surrounding me. Now, this is some stupid comments up.

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Speaker 1: He's making this all about him. I've seen somebody say

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Speaker 1: it's the next thing to do to help save my podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to say I do when I know

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Speaker 1: deep down inside I don't. I saw a video one

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Speaker 1: day that said I had to fail engagement. I've never

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Speaker 1: been engaged. The reason why he's keeping her private is

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Speaker 1: because he don't want people in the past to come

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Speaker 1: up and mess up his situation. I said, I don't

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Speaker 1: have no situation. People are so used to toxicity that they'll

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Speaker 1: take something that's healthy, that's beautiful, that's God center, and

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Speaker 1: then project their insecurities. Let me get back on my

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Speaker 1: future wife. I know that my purpose is attached to

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Speaker 1: my future wife, and that's the reason why I had

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Speaker 1: to take my time and choose carefully, choose wisely. This

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Speaker 1: woman who I will be exchanging vows with I felt

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Speaker 1: like that from the moment I met her. The reason

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Speaker 1: why I am doing what I am doing is because

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Speaker 1: I want her to have the wedding of her dreams.

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Speaker 1: Back in twenty twenty, we sponsored three couples getting married,

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Speaker 1: and God told me, if you think that I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to take care of you because you blessing other folks,

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Speaker 1: he said, watch what happens when it's your time. This

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Speaker 1: platform was my personal journey to discover, uncovered, recover love,

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Speaker 1: and she is the love that was recovered. But greater

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Speaker 1: gift to have her look absolutely beautiful, to know that

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Speaker 1: I did everything in my power to use the platform

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Speaker 1: that God has curated for her a gift to her.

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Speaker 1: I love the fact that you are being encouraged by

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Speaker 1: the fact that I proposed to the love of my life.

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Speaker 1: I've seen a comment that said this is for us.

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Speaker 1: The only person that could ever say something like that

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Speaker 1: is a person that understands the heart posture of God

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Speaker 1: that you got to celebrate other people's wins and to

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Speaker 1: know that if he did it before, he can do

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Speaker 1: it again. The hardest thing for me not to do

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Speaker 1: is reveal my future wife. She and I had a

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Speaker 1: conversation and I said, would you like to say something

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Speaker 1: to a dear future WIFEI audience, and she said I

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Speaker 1: would love to. She said, dear future WIFEI family. The

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Speaker 1: Dear Future Wifie podcast has global impact. From Texas, I

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Speaker 1: have been on this journey of healing and self discovery,

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Speaker 1: and this podcast has been a vital part of my process.

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Speaker 1: God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,

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Speaker 1: founding authentic spirituality. California. I learned so much as a

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Speaker 1: single man through your podcast and continue to learn so

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Speaker 1: much as now a married man Nigeria. This is just

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Speaker 1: therapy for me. You know, I've been healed. I've been

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Speaker 1: strengthening in my convictions on the sto to do single

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Speaker 1: Hoop Better Amsterdam way that you've shown us how it

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Speaker 1: is possible for a man to be as intentional as

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Speaker 1: you are. New Jersey. I appreciate your vulnerability. I appreciate

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Speaker 1: just being able to see that there is life after divorce.

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Speaker 1: To New York. I am a single woman, so these

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Speaker 1: episodes really give me hope, encourage that God does have

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Speaker 1: a husband for me, discover, uncover and recover love. I'm

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Speaker 1: laterra Saar Whitfield and this is season ten of the

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Speaker 1: Dear Future Wifie Podcast. Welcome to a Dear Future Wifie Podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Laterra Sar Whitfield. Listen, are you still

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Speaker 1: shacking up with us? If you're still shacking up with us,

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Speaker 1: can we get a commitment? Hit that subscription button and subscribe.

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Speaker 1: Make sure you turn on your notification bell so you'll

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Speaker 1: be notified about upcoming episodes. You know what. I know

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Speaker 1: y'all not used to seeing me on this side of

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Speaker 1: the studio. Well, occasionally I decide to do episodes where

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Speaker 1: I just take a moment to chop it up with

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Speaker 1: the lit vam. Those that are new to the podcast.

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Speaker 1: That's what I refer to you guys, those supporters who

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Speaker 1: are living intentionally and transparently. When I launched a Dear

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Speaker 1: Future Wifie podcast in twenty twenty, I said I wanted

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Speaker 1: to accumulate a group of people we'll believe and keeping

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Speaker 1: it lit it living intentionally and transparently. So I know

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Speaker 1: some of y'all have seen on social media my big announcement.

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Speaker 1: I am engaged. Yes, I am engaged, and I am

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Speaker 1: so excited about it. To catch y'all up, I propose

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Speaker 1: to my woman July to thirteenth Sunday at Cali Worship.

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Speaker 1: It was where I did the Dear Future Wife he

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Speaker 1: podcasts in November of twenty twenty three, and it was

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Speaker 1: there that I met her in the audience. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: can't wait to have on a podcast so she could

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Speaker 1: tell us howe the story. So if y'all saw the

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Speaker 1: Essence magazine matter of fact, I'm gonna put the Essence

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Speaker 1: Magazine article a link to that in the description so

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Speaker 1: you can check that out. Y'all been on this journey

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Speaker 1: with me for five years. For five years, and there's

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Speaker 1: been an interesting journey. I cannot say that I've kept

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Speaker 1: the faith every step of the way. Sometimes I've gotten

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Speaker 1: weary in my well doing. I questioned God, I questioned moments.

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Speaker 1: I questioned how long am I going to stay single?

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Speaker 1: Contrary to popular belief who people believe or some people believe.

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Speaker 1: I see a lot of videos about it that teras

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Speaker 1: don't want to get married. It has to be the

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Speaker 1: biggest lie because at the end of the day, I

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Speaker 1: know that my purpose is attached to my future wife,

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Speaker 1: and that's the reason why I had to take my

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Speaker 1: time and choose carefully, choose wisely. This woman who I

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Speaker 1: will be exchanging vows with, this woman is uniquely different

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Speaker 1: from every woman I've ever encountered. I feel like she

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Speaker 1: has been taken from me in the engagement. I said

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Speaker 1: to her, I feel like my body is calling itself

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Speaker 1: to itself. And that's what I felt like. I felt

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Speaker 1: like that from the moment I met her. I felt

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Speaker 1: that there was a drawing towards her. And even though

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Speaker 1: we remained platonic friends for about a year and four months,

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Speaker 1: let's see a year and yeah, a year and four

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Speaker 1: months back in March. So about March the eighteenth is

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Speaker 1: when we went on our first date. And so, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we went on our first date. Then we were always

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Speaker 1: just platonic friends talking on the phone. I talked to

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Speaker 1: her about women I'm dating. She'll talk to me about

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Speaker 1: guys she dated. Just built the strong platonic friendship. And

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Speaker 1: then I had this dream that I couldn't shape. So

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Speaker 1: I called her to get some understanding and clarity about it.

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Speaker 1: And then the conversation, I said, you know what, let's

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Speaker 1: try to see if this could be more. When are

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Speaker 1: you available in March? I want to take you out

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Speaker 1: on a date and we've been out to eat, like

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Speaker 1: I said in the past, just sitting down breaking bread

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Speaker 1: when I travel to LA But I said this I

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Speaker 1: want to be more intentional about. She was open to it,

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Speaker 1: and that day I was like, Yeah, I want this

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Speaker 1: to be forever. This is what I want to spend

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Speaker 1: forever with. And I actually it started before then, but

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Speaker 1: I had to manage my expectations and say, you know what,

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Speaker 1: let me let me see what God is saying, let

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Speaker 1: me see what God is doing, and had to submit

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Speaker 1: to her being open to it as well. And so,

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Speaker 1: like I said, we'll get deeper into the weeds as

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Speaker 1: the time comes. As a time comes November twenty second,

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Speaker 1: when we get married. Yes, a lot of people keep asking,

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Speaker 1: what's gonna happen to the Different WYV podcast when you

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Speaker 1: get married, Well, it's going to still exist. She would

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Speaker 1: just join me on the podcast. I'll be redesigning my

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Speaker 1: set where I'll have two couches where she and I

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Speaker 1: can see on the couch as we interview other couples

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Speaker 1: and singles. And yeah, we're just gonna keep it moving.

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Speaker 1: That idea came because I was talking to a major

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Speaker 1: network and they were wanting to license the Dear Future

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Speaker 1: wifey podcasts, and they said, what happens when you get married?

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Speaker 1: I said, oh, well, my wife and I will start

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Speaker 1: a new podcast and I will knight another bachelor to

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Speaker 1: take over Dear Future Wife. And they were like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that doesn't even make sense. Why would you have built

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Speaker 1: all of this and then put somebody else as the

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Speaker 1: host of the podcast? What if people don't want to

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Speaker 1: see them? I said, well, I mean my journey be over.

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Speaker 1: They said, well, what would be wrong with just her

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Speaker 1: joining the podcast and you continue on so people can

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Speaker 1: go back look from when the podcast first started, the

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Speaker 1: inception of the podcast, and see your journey as a

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Speaker 1: single man and how you manifested love in your life.

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Speaker 1: And I said, you know what, Okay, that does make sense.

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Speaker 1: They're like yeah, So they said, yeah, just just just

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Speaker 1: keep it bringing on the podcast. So that was about

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Speaker 1: two and a half years ago, and I decided to say,

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Speaker 1: you know what, let me listen to wisdom and as

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Speaker 1: they said, which makes a whole lot of sense. And

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Speaker 1: even though we didn't even broke her or deal with

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Speaker 1: that podcast network, I realized that God allowed me to

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Speaker 1: hear that conversation so that I didn't abandon the call

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Speaker 1: that God has for us on dear future wifey. I've

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Speaker 1: seen some comments, and I try not to address the

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Speaker 1: negativity because I love to celebrate the positivity and all

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Speaker 1: the love that has been surrounding me with this new journey.

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Speaker 1: Every time I think about our smileage, I'll see But

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Speaker 1: as I think about this new journey with my future

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Speaker 1: WIFEI I seen comments with people. Now, this is some

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Speaker 1: stupid comments I've seen. I've seen somebody say, and this

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Speaker 1: is funny because I always get Ladarian. So, Ladarian is

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Speaker 1: my nephew who I adopted. I know y'all have seen

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Speaker 1: him on the podcast before the infamous wig video. He

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Speaker 1: was the one that did the switching for that when

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Speaker 1: we were recording that. But he has a YouTube channel

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Speaker 1: or a couple of YouTube channels, and I've always been

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Speaker 1: trying to use moments that I go through as a

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Speaker 1: teachable lesson for him. And so I say, all I

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Speaker 1: have to say that we're driving in the car and

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Speaker 1: I pulled up some videos because he was so happy

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Speaker 1: about me getting engaged, I said, and I want you

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Speaker 1: to know because I want to always give you a

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Speaker 1: doser reality. A lot of times when we are celebrating,

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Speaker 1: other people are hating, and so I said, let me

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Speaker 1: just pull up this video so you can hear what

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Speaker 1: people are saying. So I pulled up this one video

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Speaker 1: and this lady was just ranting and saying that I'm

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Speaker 1: getting married because it's the next thing to do to

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Speaker 1: help save my podcast because of the episode that went

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Speaker 1: viral a few months ago from the Steals. And they're

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Speaker 1: saying that he's just getting married because he got so

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Speaker 1: much pushed back from that. And Ladarian, as young as

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Speaker 1: he is, he's sixteen years old, and his exact words

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Speaker 1: was that don't even make sense. That has to be stupid.

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Speaker 1: Why would you get married because somebody is saying something

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Speaker 1: negative about a whole nother couple? He said, wouldn't that

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Speaker 1: be dumb that you wouldn't be able to sustain a

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Speaker 1: marriage like that? Because if you married somebody you don't

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Speaker 1: care about, you don't love, you're gonna end up getting divorced.

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Speaker 1: She gonna take half of what you own. So why

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Speaker 1: even put yourself through that? And I said out the

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Speaker 1: mouth the babes, I said, how in the world's a

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Speaker 1: sixteen year old man, young man able to think like that?

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Speaker 1: And I asked him. I said, well, where did you

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Speaker 1: where you know about taking half? And where you know this?

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Speaker 1: He said, I watched TikTok. He said, I watched a

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Speaker 1: lot of TikTok videos, and it doesn't make sense to

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Speaker 1: get married to somebody that you don't love if it's

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Speaker 1: going to end in divorce and you got to go

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Speaker 1: through all the split of finances and everything else. And

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Speaker 1: I said, it's amazing how Ladarion, with very limited dating experience,

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Speaker 1: with him being young, don't know anything about marriage on

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Speaker 1: that degree, had enough common sense to know that my

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Speaker 1: motive and intention isn't to save some podcasts, especially the

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Speaker 1: same podcast. Y'all just heard me say that I was

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Speaker 1: willing to leave because I wanted to night another bachelor

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Speaker 1: over the podcast, and then my wife and I start

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Speaker 1: a whole nother thing from scratch. I'm sharing that with

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Speaker 1: the lip found because I always want y'all to know

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Speaker 1: what y'all you know, I'm probably beating a dead horse

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Speaker 1: because you already know my intentions. I'll been rocking with

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Speaker 1: me forever. But just when you see stuff like that,

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Speaker 1: I want you to have the heart posture of knowing

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Speaker 1: that the enemy is always busy to try to destroy

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Speaker 1: and come against what God has created. And so I

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Speaker 1: want to encourage y'all in your own personal life. I

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Speaker 1: know you have people that look at your good intentions

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Speaker 1: and have it evil spoken of, or try to question

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Speaker 1: your motives around stuff, and I just want you to

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Speaker 1: be rooted in that. I want you to be rooted

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Speaker 1: in knowing that only what you do for Christ will last,

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Speaker 1: and any other ill motive, any other file intention that

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Speaker 1: you may have, that you can't trick people for long anyway,

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Speaker 1: that is going to crash and burn. And so I

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Speaker 1: know that y'all know the intention of the Dear Future

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Speaker 1: WIFEI Podcast has always been what it always is, which

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Speaker 1: is the edify, the uplift, to build, to encourage singles

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Speaker 1: to understand the gravity of marriage, for people that are married,

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Speaker 1: to understand that what God has joined together, let no

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Speaker 1: man put us under. And hopefully it was God that

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Speaker 1: joined y'all together, that if you are divorced, that God

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Speaker 1: can give you do overs, He can give you a

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Speaker 1: second chance at love. Heal before you say I do again.

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Speaker 1: And so the Dear Future WIFEI Podcast, as I've always said,

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Speaker 1: especially the beginning of the school, I said beginning the school year.

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Speaker 1: I'm getting ready for the dear and go back to school.

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Speaker 1: So I'm saying school year. I can't wait for him

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Speaker 1: to go back to school. I know you probably don't

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Speaker 1: like me saying that, but at the beginning of this year,

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Speaker 1: I said, I want to see marriage rates increase in

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Speaker 1: the black community, and I want to see divorced statistics

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Speaker 1: decrease while hiding tools so that we can do relationships better.

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Speaker 1: That is the heart posture, that is the mission, that

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Speaker 1: is the goal. And so during this journey, we've been learning.

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Speaker 1: I've been learning. What y'all don't realize is that I'm

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Speaker 1: the Dear Future WiFi podcast. I'll say this. I'll just

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Speaker 1: go ahead and say this. My publisher maybe get mad

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Speaker 1: at me because we ain't ready to launch the title

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Speaker 1: of my book that's coming up. But we've just been

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Speaker 1: transparent here. So the heart posture I have for dear

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Speaker 1: future wife you was to sit as a student and

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Speaker 1: learn from people. That's why when people call me a

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Speaker 1: relationship expert, I always shy away from that. I always

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Speaker 1: shun that title because I don't look at myself as

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Speaker 1: an expert. I'm a student. I'm learning from my mistakes.

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Speaker 1: I'm learning from the mistakes of other people. I'm learning

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Speaker 1: how to communicate while I'm on the podcast to hear,

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Speaker 1: to listen more than speak. I'll share this with you. Well,

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Speaker 1: let me say this real quick. So, as a student student,

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Speaker 1: I sat and gleaned information and wisdom from all these

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Speaker 1: guests that have been on the podcast, and I wrote

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Speaker 1: a book called Student of Love. So in September, you're

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Speaker 1: going to hear that amplified very loud with a lot

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Speaker 1: of promotion in marketing. Shout out to HarperCollins W Publishing

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Speaker 1: for giving me an amazing book deal. They truly saw me.

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Speaker 1: They saw the God calling over my life. They saw

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Speaker 1: the mission, they saw the mandate, they saw the mantle,

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Speaker 1: and I just thank y'all so much W Publishing for

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Speaker 1: that huge godwink. So one of the things when I

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Speaker 1: start the podcast, I said, God, I want you to

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Speaker 1: teach me to be a better listener and all transparency.

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Speaker 1: Always I used to listen to respond instead of listening

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Speaker 1: to listen. And I remember in the earlier days of

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Speaker 1: the podcast, I would see comments where people say, Gosh,

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Speaker 1: you're such a good listener, Gosh, you're an amazing listener.

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Speaker 1: And the reason why that was so powerful is because

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Speaker 1: that was a secret prayer that I had with God,

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Speaker 1: is to become a better listener and to know that

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Speaker 1: God was teaching me that while sitting there. So let

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Speaker 1: me tell you the key to this. As y'all noticed,

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Speaker 1: when I interview people, I have no notes. I have

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Speaker 1: no notes. I don't know what I'm gonna say to them.

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Speaker 1: I just have to. I'm forced to listen to them.

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Speaker 1: Or the episode with Fyall dead, So I would just

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Speaker 1: sit there and listen to them. I will re ask

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Speaker 1: a question, rephrase it, dig deeper by the question and

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Speaker 1: what it did. It made me a better partner to

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Speaker 1: actually date, because I can learn so much about somebody

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Speaker 1: by listening. The Bible says be slow to speak and

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Speaker 1: just quick to listen. And so I would find myself

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Speaker 1: just listening to people and I'm listening to what they're saying.

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Speaker 1: I'm listening to what they're not saying. I'm listening to

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Speaker 1: the nuances behind the words. Why did they choose this

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Speaker 1: word and not that word. I become very keen in listening.

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Speaker 1: That was one other part about the Dear Future WIFEI podcast.

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Speaker 1: Through this journey that brought about healing. Another thing is

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Speaker 1: being extremely vulnerable and transparent. I've always been a person

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Speaker 1: that has been very vulnerable, but I haven't been the

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Speaker 1: type of person that could be very transparent. And when

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Speaker 1: I say transparent, I mean about my weaknesses. I could

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Speaker 1: be transparent about anything else. But to sit in front

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Speaker 1: of everybody and share your mistakes, share the growth that

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Speaker 1: you're experiencing in real time. Y'all know that got to

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Speaker 1: be hard. And you see why is hard because the

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Speaker 1: minute that people hear something I struggle with, then they

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Speaker 1: cast judgment and I can't believe he's doing this and

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Speaker 1: he's doing that and he's a Christian. But then they

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Speaker 1: don't remove the plank out of their own I And

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Speaker 1: every time that would happen, God said, but I got

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Speaker 1: you on assignment. Keep doing it. And then God would

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Speaker 1: answer because someone would DM me giving me at asking

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Speaker 1: for advice or giving me a praise report, saying man,

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Speaker 1: I thank you so much for you sharing what you

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Speaker 1: were going through because I'm going through that same thing.

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Speaker 1: And then I'll be able to minister to them one

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Speaker 1: on one in my DMS or video called the Brother

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Speaker 1: on ig video. And so I would watch so much

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Speaker 1: ministry work that would go and take place and still

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Speaker 1: does behind the scenes. But again, I want to encourage you.

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Speaker 1: I want to encourage you to take whatever your testimony

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Speaker 1: is and share it. Why because in Revelations it said

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Speaker 1: people will overcome by the word of your testimony and

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Speaker 1: by the blood of the Lamb. Let me get back

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Speaker 1: on my future wife. She and I had a conversation

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Speaker 1: prior to this recording, and I said, would you like

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Speaker 1: to say something to the dear future wifey audience, and

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Speaker 1: she said, I would love to, so let me just

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Speaker 1: before I read this, let's see. No, I'll read it first.

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Speaker 1: I'll read it first, and then I'll elaborate, she said,

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Speaker 1: dear future WIFEI family. From the moment I said yes

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Speaker 1: to Ben Lateris's wife, I also said yes to being

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Speaker 1: a part of this beautiful community, a family that believes

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Speaker 1: in love, faith, and the sacredness of marriage. As the

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Speaker 1: mystery bride. I've been overwhelmed by the outpouring of support, prayers,

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Speaker 1: and yes, even the hilarious posting videos where y'all have

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Speaker 1: zoomed in on every glimpse of my hands and feet.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you, I've laughed right along with you.

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Speaker 1: The creativity and humor of this community has truly warmed

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Speaker 1: my heart and made this journey even more special. Been

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Speaker 1: hidden in plain sight has been a unique experience. I

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Speaker 1: watched from behind the scenes as you all speculated, celebrating,

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Speaker 1: and stood by lateris with such genuine love. Your kindness

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Speaker 1: and patience have meant the world to me. It's rare

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Speaker 1: to find a space that uplifts marriage, holds it sacred,

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Speaker 1: and roots for couples with such intentionality. That's what makes

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Speaker 1: the Dear Future WIFEI podcast more than just the show.

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Speaker 1: It's a ministry, a movement. I'm beyond excited to finally

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Speaker 1: meet you all. I look forward to joining the podcast

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Speaker 1: and lending my voice to the important mission of increasing

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Speaker 1: marriage rates in our Black community. This journey isn't just

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Speaker 1: about Latius. To me, It's about all of us standing together,

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Speaker 1: changing narratives, and showing that Black love, grounded in God

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Speaker 1: is not only possible but flourishing. Thank you for loving

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Speaker 1: us through the unknowns, for championing marriage, and for embracing

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Speaker 1: me even before knowing my name. I'm honored to step

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Speaker 1: into this new season with you, hand in hand, heart

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Speaker 1: to heart with love and gratitude. The mystery bride, but

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Speaker 1: not for long, she said, and not for loon. That's

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Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. I hear comments and read comments

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Speaker 1: where people say he's making this all about him. Let's

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Speaker 1: think about how logical that is. So I like to

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Speaker 1: just talk about stuff that just don't make sense. What

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Speaker 1: man on this earth? And I'm just gonna tell you

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Speaker 1: the process of engagement. The process of an engagement is

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Speaker 1: the man decrees and declares that this is his wife,

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Speaker 1: whether he does that publicly, privately, or whatever, puts a

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Speaker 1: ring on her finger and ask her to marry him.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't have a ring on his finger. See I

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Speaker 1: still don't have a ring on my finger. She walks

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Speaker 1: around with a ring on her finger. So the man,

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Speaker 1: fortunately and unfortunately, no one can see that he's engaged.

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Speaker 1: No one knows he's engaged. He walks around, he goes

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Speaker 1: to work, unless he unless he publicizes it. You have

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Speaker 1: no idea that this man is engaged. He can walk

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Speaker 1: away and live his single life. I say all that

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Speaker 1: because I've seen a comment with someone said the reason

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Speaker 1: why he's keeping her private is because he don't want

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Speaker 1: people in the past to come up and talk and

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Speaker 1: mess up his situation. I said, I don't have no situation.

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Speaker 1: So y'all so used to so much drama. And I

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Speaker 1: say y'all meaning the negative people, not the lit fawn.

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Speaker 1: But some of these people are so used to so

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Speaker 1: much drama that let's unpack this. If that was the case,

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Speaker 1: what is stopping women from creating videos right now that

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Speaker 1: go viral, starting YouTube channels and telling all my business

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Speaker 1: it don't exist. I made sure that I kept my

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Speaker 1: hands clean. And so the reality is people are so

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Speaker 1: used to toxicity that they'll take something that's healthy, that's beautiful,

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Speaker 1: that's God center, and then project their insecurities, project their toxicity,

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Speaker 1: project project their fears on a relationship that's not possessing

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Speaker 1: any of that foolishness. And so the reason why I

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Speaker 1: am doing what I am doing is because I want

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Speaker 1: her to have the wedding of her dreams. Let me

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Speaker 1: tell you something. Those that have had weddings know that

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Speaker 1: weddings can get extremely expensive. Extremely expensive. I mean, people

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Speaker 1: spend tens of thousands of dollars for one day. And

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Speaker 1: my goal is to be a good steward over the

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Speaker 1: finances that God has given me and her. So it

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Speaker 1: just made sense to try to create something that would

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Speaker 1: attract brands to come sponsor the wedding. Now how did

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Speaker 1: that come to be? If you look on this channel

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Speaker 1: on the Dear Future Wifie podcast YouTube channel. Back in

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty, we sponsored three couples getting married. I spent

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Speaker 1: twelve thousand dollars out of my own pocket for it.

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Speaker 1: And let me tell you what happened is that during

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Speaker 1: the pandemic, a lot of couples were counseled, and my

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Speaker 1: daughter was going to get married, and so I had

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Speaker 1: this venue. She decided she didn't want to have a

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Speaker 1: big wedding. She wanted to have something very small, intimate,

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Speaker 1: about twenty people. So I had this huge venue that

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Speaker 1: I already had a deposit on. So I felt like

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Speaker 1: I heard God tell me go ahead and bless other

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Speaker 1: people and help them get married. So I did this

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Speaker 1: big call out on Facebook at the time and said

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Speaker 1: who wants to get married? Whose wedding was counseled? And

429
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:32,160
Speaker 1: we had three couples have a group wedding. Shout out

430
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 1: the pastor Wilford who officiated that wedding, and we put

431
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 1: this wedding on in a matter of like, I mean

432
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 1: like two weeks or something. It was real short. You

433
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 1: look at the video I said in that. But after

434
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 1: I went through all that, and I spent twelve thousand

435
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 1: dollars of my money to help bless other people getting married.

436
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,160
Speaker 1: And then other people came and donated and helped these couples,

437
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 1: so I couldn't have done it without them. But I

438
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 1: spent twelve thousand hard earned dollars out of my pocket

439
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 1: to bless other folks. And God told me, if you

440
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 1: think that I'm not gonna take care of you because

441
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: you bless in other folks. He said, watch what happens

442
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,199
Speaker 1: when it's your time. And I'm gonna be honest with you.

443
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be very transparent with you. Sometimes I'm extremely

444
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:24,879
Speaker 1: pessimistic when it comes to the promises of God. I'm

445
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 1: gonna be honest with you. I'm being transparent and vulnerable.

446
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 1: Sometimes I am pessimistic when it comes to the promises

447
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: of God because I really be hearing things that God says,

448
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,440
Speaker 1: and I go, nah, not for me, not for me. Nah.

449
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe I didn't hear them say that. Maybe I

450
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: mean he gonna come on, he gonna bless me and

451
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 1: pay for my wedding whenever that time comes. So now

452
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 1: I'm in that season to walk out the promise. I'm

453
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 1: in that season to go from the wilderness into the

454
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 1: Promised Land. And I will not dare say I'd rather

455
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 1: be back in Pharaoh's house. I'd rather be back in Egypt.

456
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 1: I'm headed to the Promised Land. And so walking to

457
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:17,399
Speaker 1: the Promised Land is to bless this amazing woman. This

458
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 1: is her first marriage. To bless this amazing woman, just

459
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 1: drop the clue, to bless this woman with a wedding

460
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,199
Speaker 1: that will blow her mind, to make her feel like

461
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,159
Speaker 1: a queen. What greater gift to give to her with

462
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 1: her humility and submission to walk through this thing of

463
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: being called the mystery bride, And then to have all

464
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 1: eyes on her when she walks down the aisle because

465
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 1: we're going to stream this wedding live. What greater gift

466
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 1: to have her look absolutely beautiful, To know that I

467
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 1: did everything in my power to use the platform that

468
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 1: God has curated in the last five years. That was

469
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,159
Speaker 1: for her, a gift to her. The platform was my

470
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 1: personal journey to discover, uncovered, recover love, and she is

471
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: the love that was recovered. And to book in this

472
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: journey by saying here Let's celebrate you as loud as

473
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 1: you can be celebrated, as beautifully as you can be celebrated,

474
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: as big as you can be celebrated, and try to

475
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 1: spare no expense. The live stream will be free. I'm

476
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 1: not gonna charge. I've seen people charge people to watch

477
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: their live stream. I'm not gonna do it. I've always

478
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 1: given to y'all. I don't ask y'all for much at all.

479
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: As y'all know, I get criticized a lot because I

480
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 1: haven't monetized my platform on the level that it should

481
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 1: be monetized. And I struggle with that. I struggle with

482
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 1: that a lot. Y'all probably seen episodes where people like,

483
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 1: what you need to do this better than like I know,

484
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 1: But I struggle with that a lot. I'm a giver,

485
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 1: always been a giver, and so I always look for

486
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:03,880
Speaker 1: ways to give to you and not try to take

487
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 1: from you. So I'm we're live streaming the wedding, which

488
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 1: I love the fact that she is in agreement with it.

489
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,200
Speaker 1: She was like, oh yeah, absolutely. As y'all heard the letter,

490
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 1: she is so open to giving. You know why, It's

491
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: because she came to know about about me through the podcast.

492
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 1: She was watching the podcast. I think about a year,

493
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: a year, a year before we ever met, and so

494
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,679
Speaker 1: this is what I mean by how God will prepare

495
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 1: the heart of your mate. I want you all to

496
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 1: hear that. I want you to be encouraged that whoever

497
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 1: your purpose partner is, God is preparing their heart. We

498
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: always hear that God will prepare a table before us

499
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: in the presence of our enemies. But I want to

500
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 1: encourage you to know that God is preparing the heart

501
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: of your purpose partner to be able to receive you,

502
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 1: so that they can see you, so they can understand you,

503
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 1: so that y'all can be speaking the same language. You go,

504
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 1: hold on, how are we just now meeting? It sounds

505
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: like you're talking to yourself. That's when you know that

506
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: God is in complete alignment with who he connects you with.

507
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: I know you've seen a lot. You've seen couples they

508
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 1: ain't known each other but a week, and you meet him.

509
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 1: You like, how long y'all been dating? Y'all been together

510
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 1: for a long time. They're like, no, actually, this is

511
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 1: our first. This is our second date, And you like,

512
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 1: second day. I thought y'all been married. Because you can

513
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 1: see it, you can see the unity in them. Sometimes

514
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 1: you see a couple and they just look the same.

515
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 1: You be like, y'all, show looks similar. That's because they

516
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 1: were bone of their bone and flesh of their flesh.

517
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 1: And that's what I'm so privileged to have in my

518
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: future wife aka the Mystery Bride, is someone who's in

519
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 1: alignment with what God is doing with this ministry. She

520
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 1: doesn't look at this ministry as a singular ministry, meaning

521
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 1: it's my ministry, it's our men intry. It's going to

522
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 1: be our ministry. It's going to be what we are

523
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 1: able to do and do great exploits together. Y'all have

524
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 1: always heard me say, y'all can look at this platform,

525
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 1: celebrate his success, and I give God all the glory

526
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 1: of the praise for all that he's done. When this

527
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: video drops, I think I'm well. While I'm recording this,

528
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 1: I'm at six hundred and twenty five thousand subscribers when

529
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: my goal was only to hit one hundred thousand. I'm

530
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 1: a six hundred and twenty five thousand subscribers. But that

531
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 1: pales in comparison to what God is going to do

532
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: when he connects me with my future wifey and she

533
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 1: joins this platform and people are able to see the

534
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 1: power of God, the power of unity, to know that

535
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 1: y'all cried with me. Y'all journey with me, y'all, y'all

536
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 1: DM me and talk about the tears that y'all shed

537
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 1: about relationships failing for y'all, getting weary where you feel

538
00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 1: like there's no person out there for you. Y'all gone

539
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 1: through issues with infertility with my guests on the podcast. Y'all,

540
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:10,479
Speaker 1: y'all have been here every step of the way, and

541
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 1: now you'll be able to witness me linking up with

542
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 1: my future wife and been able to see what my

543
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 1: choice looks like, what my choice sounds like, what my

544
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 1: choice acts like, what my choice praise like, what my

545
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:37,479
Speaker 1: choice praise like. Not just pray, but pray praise. And

546
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 1: so I'm excited for y'all to be on this journey

547
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 1: with me. I'm looking at doing I have a Patreon

548
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 1: and this is only the way I'm gonna get motivated

549
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 1: to just start releasing context. There's a lot of content

550
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to release to the public, but I

551
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 1: get so many dms where people are enjoying this journey,

552
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:58,720
Speaker 1: and so I'm going to breathe life into my Patreon.

553
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: I know y'all hear me say that a lot, but

554
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 1: this time it is for real. I'm finna get real

555
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,959
Speaker 1: intentional on my patreon because what I want to do

556
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 1: is this. I want to develop a cohort of supporters

557
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 1: so that I'll share this with you. Because she and

558
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 1: I talked about this, and she was like, why don't

559
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 1: you do this through your patreon? So listen to this.

560
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 1: Le'm gonna tell you ia dope this woman is. I said,

561
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 1: I wanted to not only stream the wedding, but I

562
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: want to allow people to come to the wedding, you know,

563
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 1: and we're looking at venues, maybe between Dallas or LA.

564
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 1: We're still deciding where, but the venue will be able

565
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: to hold a substantial amount of people that other people

566
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 1: can come. Now, the reception will still remain private, but

567
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 1: the wedding I want to we want to open the

568
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 1: doors and allow other people to witness it. And so

569
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: she said, why don't you breathe life into your patreon

570
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 1: so you can see who's really supports you and then

571
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 1: allow them access to come to the wedding. And I

572
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 1: said I because she said, I only want people there

573
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,600
Speaker 1: that really support you. I don't want people there that

574
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 1: are being there to be salacious or whatever. I want

575
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: a group of people around me on my special day

576
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 1: that I know is rocking for us. And I said, right,

577
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 1: I hear you. I respect that a lot. And so

578
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 1: that's what I'm end up doing. I'm gonna start putting

579
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:29,959
Speaker 1: behind the scenes footage on my Patreon and so I'm

580
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 1: gonna drop a link in the description. I want you

581
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 1: all to go join the patreon and become a strong

582
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: support of the patreon, and we're gonna let y'all know

583
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 1: where the location is gonna be at. Y'all will know

584
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 1: and probably only y'all will know, and y'all be able

585
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 1: to actually come to the wedding physically at the wedding.

586
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 1: Isn't that dope? That's why I said, you gotta have

587
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: a unique woman that's willing to do that. When I

588
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 1: tell you that's let me tell you why that's so important,

589
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:12,320
Speaker 1: Because I know that weddings are so important to women.

590
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 1: But if you're so focused on the wedding, then you

591
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 1: forget about the marriage. Let me tell you what I

592
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 1: love about this woman is that, yes, she wants her

593
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 1: wedding to be special. Yes, she wants the wedding to

594
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,520
Speaker 1: she wants to feel like a queen walking down the aisle,

595
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 1: which she would. But she also said, I understand what

596
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 1: you created with your audience, and I want you to

597
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 1: allow them to come to the wedding so that they

598
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 1: can share in this special day. But she said, now

599
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,759
Speaker 1: let me give your caveat. I don't want just everybody there.

600
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 1: I want people that support you and rock with you.

601
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 1: And I said, okay. So to have that mindset to

602
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 1: be ministry minded, ministry focused, it's just another moment that

603
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 1: confirmed I'm marrying the right person. Then I'm marrying the

604
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,880
Speaker 1: person that is aligned with my heart, that's aligned with

605
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: the vision, it's aligned with the mission. We always hear

606
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 1: that there can be no submission unless there's first submission.

607
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 1: And I've laid out my mission with this woman of

608
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 1: God very clearly. She laid out her mission, her goals,

609
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 1: her desires very clearly, and we share the same heart posture.

610
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 1: That really gets me emotional because I understand how hard

611
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 1: it is to find people. You can find really good people.

612
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:53,479
Speaker 1: I met good people. She's met good people. You date

613
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,840
Speaker 1: all these people and you go, but is this the

614
00:35:55,920 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 1: person I'm supposed to marry, and then a chiros moment

615
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:08,280
Speaker 1: happens where these two souls from different walks of life,

616
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:15,279
Speaker 1: different backgrounds, come together, a conversation has had, and then

617
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:22,320
Speaker 1: God begins to weave together into connectiveness between two hearts

618
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 1: that become tethered to each other. I used to say

619
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: to her in the beginning of us dating. Marriage is

620
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 1: a miracle. When I say miracle, it's not just a

621
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:39,720
Speaker 1: miracle on stand together. It's a miracle of coming together.

622
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 1: It is extremely difficult. I remember Whitney said this. She said,

623
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 1: and I'm talking about Jess Witty, not Whitney Houghton, but

624
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:56,320
Speaker 1: Jess Witty. She said she had to push past herself.

625
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 1: That we are always challenged in relationships to push past ourself,

626
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 1: to push past our own thresholds, to push past our

627
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 1: own triggers, because if we're honest with ourselves, we'll say,

628
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 1: oh no, I can't deal with this, And when you

629
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:15,879
Speaker 1: really unpack it, you'll realize that's the reason why you're

630
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 1: not married, because you can't deal with nothing. Because marriage

631
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 1: requires you to deal with some things. If they're not

632
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: total deal breakers, if they're not going against your core values,

633
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 1: then deal with it. Look at the person as God

634
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: sees them and say, is this a person that God

635
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 1: has brought in my life to even be a mirror

636
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 1: because a lot of stuff that we can't deal with

637
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 1: you can't deal with facing yourself. Relationships God or dang

638
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:50,280
Speaker 1: relationships will require you to face yourself in the mirror,

639
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 1: to face yourself in the mirror, to look yourself in

640
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 1: the mirror and say, you know what, this person is

641
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: reflecting things in me that I need to overcome. I

642
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 1: love this person enough to overcome it, to heal through it,

643
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 1: to grow from it or not, or you say it's

644
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 1: not worth it, They're not worth it and I'll move on.

645
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 1: And when you find yourself in the common denominator in

646
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: every fail relationship, you gotta take a moment to look

647
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 1: at yourself and say, Okay, everybody keeps complaining about this

648
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 1: and me, they keep saying that I have this issue.

649
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 1: At some point you gotta fix it. So this journey

650
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 1: has been very discouraging at moments, but it's also showed

651
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 1: me the consistency of God. It showed me that God

652
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: hadn't forgotten about me. Stepan and Heman they said he

653
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 1: remembered in their episode he talks about God remembering them.

654
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 1: It's the most beautiful thing to be remembered by God.

655
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:13,360
Speaker 1: I've captured so many gems from the Dear Future WIFEI

656
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 1: podcast guests that I'm able to bottle up in my

657
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 1: gym bag, g e m bag and apply it in

658
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 1: this engagement, apply it in this marriage, Apply it with

659
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 1: you guys. When y'all are asking me questions or you know,

660
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 1: leaning on me for advice, I just tell y'all what

661
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:46,800
Speaker 1: I know, and I always lay, I always lead this.

662
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,320
Speaker 1: This is what I experienced, This is what I went through,

663
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:53,880
Speaker 1: and hopefully you can learn something from it. Let me

664
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 1: think of something else. What else would I like to

665
00:39:56,800 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 1: address in this moment? Oh, I saw a video one

666
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 1: day that said I had to fell engagement. I've never

667
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 1: been engaged. That is not true. I wasn't engaged, so

668
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:15,800
Speaker 1: that's not true. What else? Like I said, I'm just

669
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 1: gonna take time to address things that i've seen. You

670
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: know what, I think that's pretty much it. The only

671
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 1: thing that I've seen that just the motive of getting married.

672
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 1: This would be good to talk about because y'all got

673
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 1: to hear this from a man's standpoint, and I want

674
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 1: y'all to hear this. You can't force a man to

675
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 1: get married. You can't. There's nothing you can do to

676
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 1: make that man marry you. It's not gonna happen. You

677
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,920
Speaker 1: can give an ultimatum, but how many times have that worked.

678
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 1: It's people that's gotten ultimatums and the person be like,

679
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 1: all right, well, deuces, you can't force a man to

680
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:58,359
Speaker 1: marry you. Now, I will say there has been exceptions

681
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 1: where somebody then gave a man that ultimatum and then

682
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:05,760
Speaker 1: he married him. But I'm telling you overwhelming ninety something

683
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 1: percent of men will never marry you just because you've

684
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 1: done told him that he got to marry you. I

685
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 1: say all that to say, it's not a podcast. Ain't

686
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 1: a failure of me thinking I'm gonna lose my podcast

687
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:20,600
Speaker 1: behind So let me let me address that requid. I

688
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:26,279
Speaker 1: can't lose a podcast behind negativity because that's not what

689
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 1: created my podcast. You can't counsel something that you didn't endorse.

690
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 1: When I hear people say I will counsel this because

691
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:37,280
Speaker 1: he interviewed this person. And counsel that. You can't counsel

692
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: what God endors. You can't do it. And this is

693
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 1: what I want to encourage all about if you you

694
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:48,479
Speaker 1: cannot exalt the negativity, the negativity that comes your way,

695
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:53,240
Speaker 1: don't exalt that. You could sit there and look at comments,

696
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 1: and this is what happens sometimes with just human psyche.

697
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 1: You can read comments. It can have two hundred comments,

698
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 1: one hundred and ninety can be positive and the ten

699
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 1: that's negative. Our brain will focus on the ten negative

700
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 1: instead of celebrating one hundred and ninety positive. The way

701
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:15,719
Speaker 1: I operate is and the Darren can attest to this,

702
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 1: and a lot of my friends they be like, you'd

703
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: be reading these comments and just laughing at it, I said,

704
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 1: because it'd be funny to me. I said, this stuff

705
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 1: be so funny because people don't have a clue. As

706
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:28,360
Speaker 1: y'all saw on the podcast. I had a guest on

707
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 1: my podcast that said the Terris ain't interested in being

708
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 1: with nobody, he ain't interested in and getting married, but

709
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,879
Speaker 1: she didn't even know I was intentionally dating somebody at

710
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:42,359
Speaker 1: the same time. That's why I would just sit there

711
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 1: and listen. I'd be like, it's not true, it's not true,

712
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 1: and also think about this. While that interview was going

713
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,279
Speaker 1: on in March. It was an interview that happened in

714
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:58,240
Speaker 1: February with the Millers, Jamal and Natasha Miller, who prophesied

715
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 1: that I would be connected and getting married to my

716
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 1: wife this year. So here it is two different voices,

717
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 1: the voice of God prophesying destiny and the voice not

718
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 1: assigned by God speaking against the will of God over

719
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:22,680
Speaker 1: my life as well as questioning my intentions with what

720
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 1: God is telling me in my life. Old folks used

721
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 1: to say, whose report would you believe? And so I

722
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 1: would just chuckle at that stuff. I would laugh. I

723
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:35,839
Speaker 1: would hear people say certain stuff about me on social media,

724
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 1: I would just laugh, and I said, I can't wait

725
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 1: till they see. I'm gonna tell y'all some the hardest

726
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:49,280
Speaker 1: thing for me not to do is reveal my future wife.

727
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 1: You gotta think, and I'm gonna tell you a lot

728
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 1: of that is rooted an ego. I can be honest

729
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 1: with you because I want to prove to everybody all

730
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 1: looks he told you, look at it. This is my wife.

731
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:03,320
Speaker 1: Look look at look at look at how we're connected.

732
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:05,839
Speaker 1: Look how beautiful she is, Look how she thinks, look

733
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:09,359
Speaker 1: at I want to just do that, but I had

734
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 1: to go against my own natural propensity to try to

735
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: prove to people and sit back and see what God

736
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 1: is curating behind the scenes. And so I'm taking my

737
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:24,279
Speaker 1: direction from God. A lot of people say, all the

738
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:26,399
Speaker 1: terrace is just a marketing thing. He's just so great

739
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 1: at marketing. Well, I am great at marketing. I'll be

740
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:32,839
Speaker 1: honest with you. I am great at marketing. But this

741
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:36,640
Speaker 1: isn't a marketing moment. This is a movement for me

742
00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:43,279
Speaker 1: to see if what I heard from God last in

743
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:48,319
Speaker 1: twenty twenty sponsoring other people's wedding, did I hear him

744
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 1: correctly and create creating this opportunity for our wedding to

745
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 1: be sponsored. You know, I'll shoot from the hip. I'll

746
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 1: tell you exactly what it is. That's what I'm looking for.

747
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,920
Speaker 1: I'm trying to see because Lord knows, I ain't got

748
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 1: no money to be paying for all this. Good Lord,

749
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 1: Good Lord, it's so expensive and so oh. Another thing

750
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:15,840
Speaker 1: that I will tell y'all. Some people when I showed

751
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 1: the video, they didn't see if anybody was there at

752
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 1: the engagement. I had thirty people there. Her closest friends

753
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 1: and family were there to witness that. Her mom and

754
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:36,359
Speaker 1: I we made sure that we chose the people that

755
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 1: needed to be there, that she would love and that

756
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:42,359
Speaker 1: she would just she was in so many tears, just

757
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:45,799
Speaker 1: crying seeing how that moment happened. Y'a don't think I

758
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:47,720
Speaker 1: want to show y'all that. Let me tell you something.

759
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 1: You talking about marketing. I would love to show y'all that,

760
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:55,320
Speaker 1: to show y'all the whole proposal, to show you everything

761
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:57,720
Speaker 1: so you can be like, Okay, you did that, litterious.

762
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 1: That's why it ain't about me. It's about me trying

763
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:04,320
Speaker 1: to create a moment for her wedding or our wedding,

764
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,959
Speaker 1: but her wedding because I'm doing all this to try

765
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 1: to bless her and blow her mind. So yeah, I'm

766
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 1: not gonna be before you long. I'm about to wrap

767
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 1: this up. But Darren, how long have I been talking?

768
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:22,320
Speaker 1: Forty three minutes? Good lord, trying to get to sixty minutes.

769
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 1: But I don't be liking just talking to myself. So

770
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 1: let me tell you this the reason why I like

771
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 1: talking to myself. When we did the Dear Future WIFEI

772
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 1: podcast when it first started, I said, I did a

773
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 1: couple of episodes talking by myself and I hated it

774
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:37,799
Speaker 1: and it sucked, And I said, I don't even know

775
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:41,279
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I'm rambling, and so I said, I

776
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 1: got to have guests. And so in the middle of

777
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 1: the pandemic, I started calling up people when we were

778
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 1: supposed to be socially distanced or whatever. I say, I

779
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 1: ain't gonna follow that. Y'all gonna come here and we're

780
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 1: gonna do this episodes. And if y'all go look back

781
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:55,319
Speaker 1: at the beginning of Dear Future Wifey that was in

782
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,480
Speaker 1: the heart of the pandemic and we were doing episodes

783
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 1: with guests in studio where places were locked down, and yeah,

784
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 1: I just did that. But again God's hand over. Nobody

785
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,760
Speaker 1: came on my podcast got COVID. I never contracted covid

786
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:11,319
Speaker 1: from anybody on my podcast, And it was just God

787
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:16,960
Speaker 1: just creating this beautiful moment of healing emotionally, mentally, spiritually,

788
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:20,279
Speaker 1: and a protection of healing physically on our bodies. So

789
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 1: it's all these things that were happening behind the scenes

790
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:27,759
Speaker 1: that kept showing me that God was always in the

791
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,880
Speaker 1: details of the Dear Future Wifey podcast. So that's another

792
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:36,800
Speaker 1: little fun fact that happened. Again, as you see stuff

793
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:41,319
Speaker 1: on social media, you know, respond say something. If you

794
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: hear people lying and saying certain stuff, comment and be like, nah,

795
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 1: that's not even him. Stop lying, stop lying. Don't do that,

796
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,799
Speaker 1: because as Christians and believers, we got to start being

797
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:54,279
Speaker 1: better gatekeepers with things that we experience and know that

798
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: we've been blessed and we know that God is covering

799
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 1: whatever that is. You need to stand guard and be like, na, no,

800
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 1: not that one. I have people call me up at

801
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 1: DM and hold on, now, I ain't gonna be talking

802
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 1: about no dear Future wife. And they used to be

803
00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 1: so funny, but they'll be defending me in the comments

804
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:17,280
Speaker 1: or whatever. Which, Hey, if y'all the people that defend

805
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:20,319
Speaker 1: thank y'all so much. I appreciate y'all because we got

806
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:22,800
Speaker 1: to always come against the attack of the enemy. The

807
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 1: devil is busy and there's nothing that he wants more

808
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:29,759
Speaker 1: than to tear down what God is building. Nothing he

809
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 1: wants more than to do that. And so shout out

810
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 1: to y'all for being gatekeepers and defending my honor and

811
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,319
Speaker 1: defending the heart posture and the mission of the Dear

812
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 1: Future WIFEI podcast. I want to conclude this by just

813
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:57,760
Speaker 1: encouraging y'all. When I do these singles events, it really

814
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:01,360
Speaker 1: a grees my heart when I see how many women

815
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 1: outnumber the men. It's an embarrassing percentage, and it breaks

816
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,839
Speaker 1: my heart because I look and I go, Wow, that

817
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 1: is the biggest indicator of what the struggle is where

818
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 1: you look at the ratio for men and women and

819
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,759
Speaker 1: all that, and it really a greeves my heart. So

820
00:49:22,239 --> 00:49:24,280
Speaker 1: I just want y'all know that I'm looking to find

821
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 1: a solution to find out how can I get more

822
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 1: men involved and start really discipling and talking to them

823
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 1: and trying to figure out what language I need to

824
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 1: do to draw more men at events. And this is

825
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 1: what churches have problems with this. A lot of singles

826
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 1: events had problems with period. So I'm just asking God

827
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:45,879
Speaker 1: and seeking God for direction to help try to solve that.

828
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:49,839
Speaker 1: And not just any men, but men that will treat

829
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 1: y'all well emotionally and spiritually as well as physically. So

830
00:49:55,520 --> 00:50:00,360
Speaker 1: I'm looking for that. But I say all this to say,

831
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:05,760
Speaker 1: I hear you, I hear your struggle, I hear your journey.

832
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,839
Speaker 1: I love the fact that you are being encouraged by

833
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 1: the fact that I propose to the love of my life.

834
00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 1: Y'all not salty about it. Y'all not mad about it,

835
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 1: y'all not hating on it. Y'all said, I've seen a

836
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:29,719
Speaker 1: comment that said this is for us. Who says that,

837
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 1: who says that someone else's engagement is for all of us?

838
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:37,799
Speaker 1: The only person that could ever say something like that

839
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 1: is a person that understands the heart posture of God

840
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 1: that you got to celebrate other people's wins and to

841
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 1: know that if he did it before, he can do

842
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:55,840
Speaker 1: it again. The God is the giver of life, the

843
00:50:55,880 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 1: giver of blessings, the giver of miracles and wonder So

844
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:13,320
Speaker 1: thank you for celebrating this proposal. I soon to be

845
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 1: bride in this marriage. Use that as fuel to inspire you,

846
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:23,480
Speaker 1: to encourage you to know that God hadn't forgotten about you.

847
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:29,160
Speaker 1: Use it get extremely intentional, start declaring things over your life.

848
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:32,839
Speaker 1: Last September, I started declaring that I was gonna get

849
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 1: married by the end of twenty twenty five. With no

850
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 1: prospects in sight. I just started saying, I'm gonna get married.

851
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 1: And let me tell you it was an episode that

852
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:49,640
Speaker 1: I did with Egyptian Ride and Mike Jackson on their podcast,

853
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:53,319
Speaker 1: and at the beginning of the podcast, I said, I'm

854
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 1: gonna get married about the end of this year. We

855
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 1: shot this in March. I said, I'm gonna get married

856
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 1: and then by the end of it, I mean about

857
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:03,719
Speaker 1: ten to fifteen minutes later in the conversation, I said, well,

858
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 1: I mean, if I'm not married, I at least have

859
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 1: a ring on her finger. And then Mike called me.

860
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 1: I said, hold on, you just said you're gonna be

861
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:11,279
Speaker 1: married about the by the end of this year. No,

862
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 1: stated keep that. Keep that. I said, Oh, he said,

863
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 1: own it, I said, And I got nervous because I

864
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:24,759
Speaker 1: was like, can God do it that fast? And the

865
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 1: minute he told me to own that, I said, God can.

866
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 1: I wasn't racing against a deadline. I'm not going to

867
00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:36,240
Speaker 1: say I do when I know deep down inside I don't,

868
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:41,400
Speaker 1: especially having gone through a failed marriage. Why would I

869
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 1: do that? Then? Why just think about this? I'm just

870
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 1: gonna entertain something. I know I'm spost to encourage y'all,

871
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 1: but I just want to unpack this real quick. I've

872
00:52:49,239 --> 00:52:52,840
Speaker 1: been divorced. I did a whole ted talk back in

873
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:59,879
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one about the likelihood of divorce in set

874
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:04,120
Speaker 1: at marriages, so I know the statistics on that. I'm

875
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 1: going to willingly go take vows with somebody with a

876
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:12,040
Speaker 1: platform as big as I have to have a public

877
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:16,600
Speaker 1: failure because that mayorge don't work, and then people are

878
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:25,400
Speaker 1: discouraged in saying see man, now, this process was extremely intentional.

879
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 1: I went through therapy with Love Macpherson. Love. I went

880
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 1: through three months of therapy, she and I, Me and

881
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 1: my future wife. He went through three months of therapy

882
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 1: with Love Macpherson, and we unpacked everything everything. Oh, we

883
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:53,520
Speaker 1: talked about everything. Because what people don't understand is this

884
00:53:55,040 --> 00:54:01,360
Speaker 1: before there's ever premarital counseling for me, I desire engagement counseling.

885
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 1: Why do I say that? It's because I don't want

886
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:09,840
Speaker 1: to go through all the hoop lie, all the beautiful gestures,

887
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 1: all the talking to the parents and getting the blessings

888
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 1: of friends and family and going out to go get

889
00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:19,799
Speaker 1: a ring and try to orchestrate this beautiful moment to

890
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:23,799
Speaker 1: propose to her. Only to know that she said yes,

891
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:25,799
Speaker 1: but we haven't dealt with the real stuff that's going

892
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 1: to even get us to the altar doesn't make sense

893
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:29,840
Speaker 1: to me. It's not a wise investment. Doesn't make sense

894
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 1: because I can go get this nice ring and then

895
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,800
Speaker 1: it falls apart when we start going through pre marital counseling.

896
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 1: Don't make sense. It's not wise. Shout out to Philadelphia

897
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 1: Diamond Company for curating this amazing show stopping stunning ring.

898
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:50,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get them on the podcast. I want to

899
00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:53,799
Speaker 1: talk to this dynamic couple. They are absolutely amazing. But

900
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:57,879
Speaker 1: why would I do all that to then it don't

901
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:00,960
Speaker 1: even make it to the wedding, or we make it

902
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:03,760
Speaker 1: to the wedding, stay married a year, two years, three years,

903
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:07,279
Speaker 1: and then go through divorce. I don't have time to

904
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 1: go through another divorce. I don't have time to waste.

905
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:16,680
Speaker 1: I would just stay single. I'm telling you that's the

906
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:18,759
Speaker 1: reason why I was single. I said, I am going

907
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 1: to be single until God brings me the right person,

908
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:25,840
Speaker 1: and I better know it's God. And how do I

909
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:27,920
Speaker 1: know it's God is when I put that ring on

910
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 1: her finger. I ain't been no other woman with a

911
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:35,320
Speaker 1: ring on their finger since the woman I got married

912
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:39,120
Speaker 1: to that and I've been divorced going on ten years

913
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:48,160
Speaker 1: in December be ten years. So I was very intentional

914
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:53,720
Speaker 1: about this process. I sought wise counsel. I had my pastor.

915
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 1: Shout out to pastor Evan Connor and Sharis Connor. I

916
00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 1: had them come over talk to her, meet with us

917
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:05,240
Speaker 1: US to give their blessing. I talked to her dad.

918
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 1: I talked to her mom. This is powerful. I talked

919
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 1: to my kids. Let's talk about that. Let me tell

920
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:21,839
Speaker 1: you one of the things. I want to save this

921
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 1: for later, but I'll just say this real quick. My daughter, Lataria,

922
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:33,719
Speaker 1: I think this was in twenty nineteen or twenty twenty.

923
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:38,960
Speaker 1: She was watching Israel Holten and Adrian Bally on she

924
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:41,520
Speaker 1: was watching the YouTube of no she was watching the

925
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:46,400
Speaker 1: on his YouTube Instagram of Adrian cooking or doing something

926
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:50,239
Speaker 1: with Israel Holton's daughter and you know, and her bonus daughter.

927
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 1: So he said, she said, I want whoever you marry,

928
00:56:55,920 --> 00:57:01,240
Speaker 1: I want to have a relationship with her like Adrian

929
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:06,360
Speaker 1: has with Israel Holton's daughter, which is adrian stepdaughter. I

930
00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:10,080
Speaker 1: like using step but bonus daughter. And I said, hmm,

931
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:12,400
Speaker 1: And she just said that to me. Never forgot it.

932
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 1: I just said, that's good to know. The way my

933
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:21,840
Speaker 1: future wife. He shows up in Latia's life checks in

934
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:25,840
Speaker 1: where her talks to her. She knows stuff about my daughter.

935
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 1: I don't even know that that you know, current stuff

936
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:31,600
Speaker 1: that's going on. I'd be like what. And we went

937
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 1: out to eat one day and Latia said, you remember

938
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 1: when I said, I said, I remember, and she was like, wow,

939
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:47,800
Speaker 1: that's how I feel with her messed me up. Ladarian.

940
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:54,400
Speaker 1: Ladarian does not warm up to people easily. He doesn't.

941
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 1: I understand why. He's been through a lot of trauma

942
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 1: when it comes to the foster care system and you know,

943
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,560
Speaker 1: things with you know, as he was being raised without

944
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:05,600
Speaker 1: sharing all his business. But he's been through a lot

945
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:08,080
Speaker 1: of stuff when it comes to you know, stuff like that.

946
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 1: So he don't trust. We don't trust people that quickly.

947
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 1: And so one of the things he said to her

948
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,080
Speaker 1: what he said to me before he ever said to her.

949
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:21,120
Speaker 1: He was like, yeah, I rock with her. And then

950
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:23,000
Speaker 1: after he got a chance to really meet her and

951
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 1: be around her, he was just like, I mean one day,

952
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 1: I guess that was about a week ago, And Darren was,

953
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:28,880
Speaker 1: that was a week ago when you told her you

954
00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 1: love her a week ago. I just let him talk

955
00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:46,560
Speaker 1: on the phone. I let them talk on the phone.

956
00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:55,200
Speaker 1: In this moment, she was helping giving them advice about

957
00:58:55,240 --> 00:59:01,280
Speaker 1: how to show up his senior year and how to

958
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 1: reach its fullest potential. Ladarreen said thank you for taking

959
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 1: the time out to talk to me and to help

960
00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:27,360
Speaker 1: me do better, and he said, I love you. I

961
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:30,280
Speaker 1: was in the room when he said that, and I

962
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:35,880
Speaker 1: walked out of the living room into my bedroom and

963
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:42,800
Speaker 1: I just cried. Let me tell you why that's important,

964
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:45,880
Speaker 1: because La Darren witnessed me dating one of the most

965
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 1: toxic women I could have ever dated years ago. This

966
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:53,640
Speaker 1: was in twenty fifteen to twenty eighteen. Don't even share

967
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 1: this story often. I don't even share it much at all,

968
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:06,680
Speaker 1: but twenty fifteen, twenty eighteen. And he will always say

969
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:09,640
Speaker 1: stuff like any time he heard me dating somebody else,

970
01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:12,480
Speaker 1: he said, I hope she ain't crazy like the other woman.

971
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:16,520
Speaker 1: And I'll be sitting there, I'll be like, I hate

972
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 1: that he had to witness that, and so to hear

973
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:27,360
Speaker 1: his stamp of approval to tell me and confirm that

974
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:34,440
Speaker 1: I chose wise and I made a great choice. And

975
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:49,960
Speaker 1: it's somebody that he respects, somebody he honors. It's no

976
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:56,440
Speaker 1: greater validation because he has to live with her until

977
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:58,919
Speaker 1: he graduates and go to college or whatever. He will

978
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:04,600
Speaker 1: be pressed in the home with her, and so it

979
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:09,680
Speaker 1: meant the world to me to know that he sees her,

980
01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:15,000
Speaker 1: he values her, he respects her, and he loves her.

981
01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:28,480
Speaker 1: Two So, as y'all single parents date, when you are

982
01:01:28,560 --> 01:01:36,200
Speaker 1: vetting these guys, when you're vetting these women, listen to

983
01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:43,040
Speaker 1: how they speak about your kids and see if they

984
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:49,520
Speaker 1: use terms like those are your kids. If they speak

985
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:55,280
Speaker 1: like that, they're letting you know they've already disassociated themselves

986
01:01:55,320 --> 01:02:06,360
Speaker 1: from what should be y'all's kids. To know this woman

987
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:15,479
Speaker 1: sees my kids as her own was a cherry on top.

988
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:21,840
Speaker 1: It was a non negotiable. I didn't try to force it.

989
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:26,960
Speaker 1: I just let her be her. I'm gonna share this

990
01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:30,439
Speaker 1: with y'all now, I'm just telling all my business. One

991
01:02:30,520 --> 01:02:34,200
Speaker 1: day she came to visit. And you know, every time

992
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:36,640
Speaker 1: she comes, she'll talk to La Darren and spend time

993
01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:39,320
Speaker 1: with them, but in the earliest stages, one day she

994
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:44,680
Speaker 1: the whole day, we just sat around the house and

995
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:46,680
Speaker 1: the Darren stayed in the room the whole time, as

996
01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:49,680
Speaker 1: teenagers do. And that was the last day that she

997
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:52,080
Speaker 1: was here at that time. And so she was flying

998
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 1: to go back home. And when I was taking her

999
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:56,960
Speaker 1: to the airport at five in the morning, she said

1000
01:02:58,280 --> 01:03:01,960
Speaker 1: God convicted me. I said, about what she said, because

1001
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:06,200
Speaker 1: we sat in this house all day yesterday and I

1002
01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:09,720
Speaker 1: didn't see La Darren's face or speak to him, and

1003
01:03:09,760 --> 01:03:11,440
Speaker 1: he stayed in his room the whole time. I said, well,

1004
01:03:11,440 --> 01:03:13,520
Speaker 1: that's just how teenagers are, you know, teenage You gotta

1005
01:03:13,520 --> 01:03:15,360
Speaker 1: get used to that. Teenagers ain't gonna be coming around

1006
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:18,120
Speaker 1: to do this. She said, But that's not okay for me.

1007
01:03:20,440 --> 01:03:22,320
Speaker 1: I said, well, if you ever feel like you want to,

1008
01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:24,560
Speaker 1: feel free to go knock on his door and go

1009
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:26,280
Speaker 1: talk to him. She said, okay, I just don't want

1010
01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:28,840
Speaker 1: to overstep my boundaries. I said, no, you're not overstepping anything.

1011
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:32,880
Speaker 1: Matter of fact, he would appreciate that. She said. That's

1012
01:03:32,960 --> 01:03:36,280
Speaker 1: all I need to know, because I just don't like that.

1013
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:38,360
Speaker 1: I got to see his face. I gotta see how

1014
01:03:38,360 --> 01:03:42,560
Speaker 1: he's doing. I gotta check and make sure he's okay.

1015
01:03:45,720 --> 01:03:49,240
Speaker 1: Did I ever tell you that Darren, that conversation that

1016
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:50,880
Speaker 1: she had about she wanted to make sure that she

1017
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:53,240
Speaker 1: sees you before she ever leaves. You don't want a

1018
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:59,959
Speaker 1: whole day to go by without talking to you. Yep, yep.

1019
01:04:02,080 --> 01:04:06,640
Speaker 1: At that moment, I said, oh, she's the one. She

1020
01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:10,200
Speaker 1: is the one. And it was heavy on her. I said,

1021
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:13,000
Speaker 1: I said, it's okay, you ain't got to I mean,

1022
01:04:13,960 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 1: it's not that serious. She said it is though, I said,

1023
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 1: Good Lord. So thank you Future Wife aka the Mystery Bride,

1024
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 1: for operating with such a nurturing spirit, for caring for

1025
01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:46,880
Speaker 1: loving not just me but my kids. Thank you. Oh yeah,

1026
01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:50,040
Speaker 1: back to encourage y'all again, Be encouraged. Don't go. We're

1027
01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 1: and you're well doing. Know that God is able to

1028
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:56,840
Speaker 1: do exceedingly, abundantly above all you could ever ask, think

1029
01:04:57,280 --> 01:05:09,560
Speaker 1: or imagine. November twenty second is approaching extremely quickly. Make

1030
01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:12,560
Speaker 1: sure you go visit the link in the description join

1031
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:15,520
Speaker 1: the Patreon so you can get an inside look. I'm

1032
01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 1: gonna be dropping videos on how I prepared my home

1033
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:21,360
Speaker 1: for my future wife, and how I bought a home,

1034
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:26,120
Speaker 1: how I decorated it in preparation for her. I'm gonna

1035
01:05:26,120 --> 01:05:27,680
Speaker 1: show you all kind of stuff I'm gonna show y'all

1036
01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:30,919
Speaker 1: when I travel to go see her, and I'm gonna

1037
01:05:30,920 --> 01:05:33,400
Speaker 1: show y'all a whole lot. It's gonna get extremely personal

1038
01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:42,479
Speaker 1: because I want y'all to join this journey. Ahi, y'all, God,

1039
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:45,160
Speaker 1: this was beautiful. I hope y'all got value out of this.

1040
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:47,760
Speaker 1: I hope y'all got a inside look into my heart,

1041
01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:54,400
Speaker 1: my life, my journey. I want to Yeah, like I said,

1042
01:05:54,400 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 1: book Student of Love, You'll see all the stuff as

1043
01:05:56,320 --> 01:05:58,800
Speaker 1: I begin to promote that song. And I'm I'm gonna

1044
01:05:58,800 --> 01:06:00,400
Speaker 1: tell you all right now, I'm a plant to see

1045
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:04,600
Speaker 1: right now, I'm a need everybody, and I mean every

1046
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:08,360
Speaker 1: one of y'all to buy this book once that thing

1047
01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:11,560
Speaker 1: is released in pre orders. I want y'all to blow

1048
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:16,560
Speaker 1: the publisher's mind. I want ad minute I dropped that link,

1049
01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:20,160
Speaker 1: go spend maybe twenty five twenty six, between twenty five

1050
01:06:20,200 --> 01:06:24,480
Speaker 1: and thirty dollars. That ain't nothing. That is the easiest

1051
01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:27,720
Speaker 1: way to show me. Thank you, La Terris. I just

1052
01:06:27,760 --> 01:06:30,200
Speaker 1: want to just I just want to bless you and

1053
01:06:30,240 --> 01:06:32,440
Speaker 1: buy this book. And the turn is gonna bless you

1054
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:35,080
Speaker 1: because when I tell you, the gems that's in that book,

1055
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:40,240
Speaker 1: I bled when I wrote this book, bled on those pages.

1056
01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:46,160
Speaker 1: God is going to do some amazing work through this book.

1057
01:06:46,240 --> 01:06:48,720
Speaker 1: Watch what I tell you, Watch what I tell you.

1058
01:06:48,960 --> 01:06:52,760
Speaker 1: I know y'all saw last week Gary Chapman praying over

1059
01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:56,280
Speaker 1: this book before it was even written. The only thing

1060
01:06:56,280 --> 01:06:59,280
Speaker 1: that was written at that moment was the proposal, and

1061
01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:06,080
Speaker 1: that prayer fueled me as that I guess that book

1062
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:08,920
Speaker 1: bad Angleize is bad. So the whole published company they excited.

1063
01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:10,880
Speaker 1: They're like, oh my god, we believe this is gonna

1064
01:07:10,920 --> 01:07:14,919
Speaker 1: be huge, And so I want y'all to just buy

1065
01:07:14,960 --> 01:07:19,040
Speaker 1: the book to show them that y'all rock with me, period,

1066
01:07:19,280 --> 01:07:21,560
Speaker 1: and then we'll hit that New York Times bestsellers list.

1067
01:07:21,760 --> 01:07:25,920
Speaker 1: We'll celebrate. I'll end up doing book tours through cities

1068
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:27,760
Speaker 1: all across the United States. I want to come to

1069
01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:30,320
Speaker 1: some islands and go to South Africa and all that.

1070
01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:32,919
Speaker 1: Want y'all to pull up on me. But the way

1071
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:35,720
Speaker 1: that happens, and I'm gonna tell y'all the way that happens,

1072
01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 1: is when y'all support it in pre sales and pre orders.

1073
01:07:39,840 --> 01:07:44,360
Speaker 1: Y'all started hitting Amazon and wherever you get your books from,

1074
01:07:44,440 --> 01:07:47,240
Speaker 1: you start buying those books. It makes the publisher get

1075
01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:49,440
Speaker 1: excited and say, oh, now we got to create a

1076
01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:52,560
Speaker 1: wider reach. So I'm gonna tell y'all that another thing

1077
01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:56,400
Speaker 1: that I did. I want y'all to hear this is,

1078
01:07:56,640 --> 01:07:59,680
Speaker 1: as y'all noticed throughout the last five years of my

1079
01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:03,200
Speaker 1: pote I've always brought other authors on to promote their books.

1080
01:08:03,600 --> 01:08:06,360
Speaker 1: I did it because I always believe in sewing where

1081
01:08:06,360 --> 01:08:08,960
Speaker 1: you want to go, So I sew where I want

1082
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:13,600
Speaker 1: to go. And so I kept sewing, amplifying other people's books,

1083
01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:16,040
Speaker 1: telling y'all to go support their books, while I was

1084
01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:19,200
Speaker 1: believing God to open up the doors for me to

1085
01:08:19,320 --> 01:08:23,240
Speaker 1: have my own book. And here it is, so support it. Hey, listen,

1086
01:08:24,040 --> 01:08:29,240
Speaker 1: thank y'all for listening to the Dear Future WIFEI Podcast.

1087
01:08:29,520 --> 01:08:32,960
Speaker 1: And next up is I'm gonna share the letter that

1088
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:36,679
Speaker 1: I wrote to my future wife. Y'all be dressed, stay

1089
01:08:36,720 --> 01:08:39,120
Speaker 1: tuned to the end for a letter to my future wife.

1090
01:08:39,120 --> 01:08:49,240
Speaker 1: He writing this loving letters to Ladarim thrust it suddenly

1091
01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:53,960
Speaker 1: into child protective services. In twenty fifteen, my nephew black

1092
01:08:54,640 --> 01:08:58,040
Speaker 1: a boy. The likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship

1093
01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:04,040
Speaker 1: slim to none Rmione, sixteen years old, black a boy

1094
01:09:04,439 --> 01:09:07,040
Speaker 1: with five years in the Falter care system before I

1095
01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:11,880
Speaker 1: even knew his name. The likelihood have ever been adopted? Yep,

1096
01:09:11,920 --> 01:09:17,120
Speaker 1: you guessed it. Slim to none. While Laderian and Ourmiani

1097
01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:20,240
Speaker 1: were trying to survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated

1098
01:09:20,240 --> 01:09:23,400
Speaker 1: and underfunded, false care system. I was living my own life,

1099
01:09:23,439 --> 01:09:26,560
Speaker 1: doing well professionally, having been a single father with a

1100
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:28,960
Speaker 1: daughter who at that point was doing well in college.

1101
01:09:29,400 --> 01:09:32,400
Speaker 1: It was my time to live my life right. Wrong.

1102
01:09:33,520 --> 01:09:39,320
Speaker 1: I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated. There are just two many

1103
01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:42,960
Speaker 1: of our black children stuck in ambiguity and in the

1104
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:46,439
Speaker 1: limbo of the Falter care system. In twenty seventeen, I

1105
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:50,400
Speaker 1: legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast forward to twenty nineteen.

1106
01:09:50,439 --> 01:09:52,640
Speaker 1: I had no ties to this other young king, but

1107
01:09:52,680 --> 01:09:55,240
Speaker 1: I felt God instructed me to adopt him also in

1108
01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:59,400
Speaker 1: an babe starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right,

1109
01:09:59,439 --> 01:10:02,240
Speaker 1: Working with areous foster care and adoption agencies to help

1110
01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:05,360
Speaker 1: bring awareness to the countless young Black kings and the

1111
01:10:05,360 --> 01:10:09,800
Speaker 1: foster care system should have decreased my agitation. Right join

1112
01:10:09,880 --> 01:10:12,840
Speaker 1: the board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and organization

1113
01:10:12,920 --> 01:10:16,200
Speaker 1: that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in falseter

1114
01:10:16,240 --> 01:10:20,479
Speaker 1: care should have led to some type of resolve. Right. No,

1115
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:23,439
Speaker 1: not at all. None of it felt like I had

1116
01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:28,080
Speaker 1: done enough. I now realized that every one of those

1117
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:32,000
Speaker 1: experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

1118
01:10:32,920 --> 01:10:37,000
Speaker 1: Kingdom Royal. Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of

1119
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:40,400
Speaker 1: the art home for foster boys. Our first location will

1120
01:10:40,439 --> 01:10:43,160
Speaker 1: be in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. We will utilize

1121
01:10:43,200 --> 01:10:47,120
Speaker 1: the whole person approach that instills identity, empowers them to

1122
01:10:47,160 --> 01:10:51,200
Speaker 1: advocate for themselves, and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and

1123
01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:56,559
Speaker 1: limitless options that they thought were impossible. Though the young

1124
01:10:56,640 --> 01:10:58,880
Speaker 1: Kings will attend the local public schools that are in

1125
01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:02,440
Speaker 1: proximity to care in the Royale, our at home curriculum

1126
01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:06,040
Speaker 1: will broaden their worldview through participating in the arts, attending

1127
01:11:06,120 --> 01:11:11,000
Speaker 1: various cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions

1128
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:15,320
Speaker 1: about current events and even relevant historical contexts, introducing them

1129
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:19,240
Speaker 1: to gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our animals

1130
01:11:19,240 --> 01:11:23,000
Speaker 1: on our form and on site stables. We just launched

1131
01:11:23,080 --> 01:11:26,160
Speaker 1: our startup capital campaign with the goal of raising two

1132
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:29,720
Speaker 1: point eight million dollars. Now why two point eight million dollars? Well?

1133
01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:32,120
Speaker 1: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

1134
01:11:32,120 --> 01:11:36,080
Speaker 1: I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

1135
01:11:36,280 --> 01:11:38,560
Speaker 1: One of the most notable successes was that one of

1136
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:43,879
Speaker 1: the videos went viral garnering twenty eight million views. However,

1137
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:46,400
Speaker 1: one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise

1138
01:11:46,439 --> 01:11:49,800
Speaker 1: a single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable

1139
01:11:49,840 --> 01:11:54,080
Speaker 1: plan for the homeless community. So throughout the years, with

1140
01:11:54,160 --> 01:11:57,719
Speaker 1: much remorse, I reflect that I'm not maximizing that moment.

1141
01:11:57,760 --> 01:12:00,720
Speaker 1: I knew if at that time just ten percent of

1142
01:12:00,720 --> 01:12:03,600
Speaker 1: the viewers donated one dollar, we would have raised at

1143
01:12:03,680 --> 01:12:07,200
Speaker 1: least two point eight million dollars that could have really

1144
01:12:07,280 --> 01:12:10,280
Speaker 1: established long term support for the homeless community, or at

1145
01:12:10,360 --> 01:12:14,360
Speaker 1: least started a long term initiative to do so. This

1146
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:18,839
Speaker 1: is my do over, this is our new beginning. Together,

1147
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:22,479
Speaker 1: we can attack this at the route by specifically helping

1148
01:12:22,560 --> 01:12:27,439
Speaker 1: our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented in

1149
01:12:27,520 --> 01:12:31,320
Speaker 1: the American fossil care system. I'm a Terisarwhickfield. I've been

1150
01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:34,640
Speaker 1: nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work with the

1151
01:12:34,680 --> 01:12:39,200
Speaker 1: homeless as well as my personal adoption journey. Despite those accolades,

1152
01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:44,080
Speaker 1: the greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure

1153
01:12:44,280 --> 01:12:48,560
Speaker 1: for a transformed life. Visit Kingdom Royal dot com for

1154
01:12:48,640 --> 01:12:55,480
Speaker 1: more details Crown of King and make a donation today.

1155
01:13:00,040 --> 01:13:01,880
Speaker 1: So here's my favorite part of the podcast where I

1156
01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:05,280
Speaker 1: speak to my future wife. Dear future wife, he one

1157
01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:08,360
Speaker 1: day soon the doors will open, and there you'll be

1158
01:13:08,479 --> 01:13:12,519
Speaker 1: wrapped in grace, beauty, and the answered prayer I've whispered

1159
01:13:12,560 --> 01:13:16,639
Speaker 1: for years. The music will swell, the crowd will rise,

1160
01:13:16,720 --> 01:13:19,519
Speaker 1: and time will hold its breath as I watch you

1161
01:13:19,600 --> 01:13:23,760
Speaker 1: take that sacred walk towards forever. Our wedding will be

1162
01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:26,240
Speaker 1: more than the ceremony. It will be a ministry that

1163
01:13:26,280 --> 01:13:29,880
Speaker 1: will vibrate across the universe, a living reminder that hope

1164
01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:33,679
Speaker 1: doesn't disappoint, that love, even when delayed, is never denied,

1165
01:13:34,479 --> 01:13:37,679
Speaker 1: that the right love and the right season brings healing

1166
01:13:37,800 --> 01:13:41,679
Speaker 1: to every broken place. On that day, when our hands

1167
01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:45,080
Speaker 1: meet and our vows echo Heaven's intention, I pray our

1168
01:13:45,240 --> 01:13:48,800
Speaker 1: union preaches a sermon without words, that every soul in

1169
01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:51,799
Speaker 1: the room feels the presence of promise fulfilled, that someone's

1170
01:13:51,800 --> 01:13:56,240
Speaker 1: faith in love is revived, that someone dares to believe again.

1171
01:13:57,560 --> 01:13:59,320
Speaker 1: You are the perfect person to do this with your

1172
01:13:59,360 --> 01:14:02,040
Speaker 1: strength and your and wavering faith. That's everything I prayed for.

1173
01:14:02,160 --> 01:14:05,960
Speaker 1: But what humbles me most is your quiet power, the

1174
01:14:06,040 --> 01:14:09,599
Speaker 1: way you've gracefully chosen to remain hidden to be our

1175
01:14:09,720 --> 01:14:14,320
Speaker 1: mystery bride, trusting the unveiling to God's timing and design.

1176
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:19,479
Speaker 1: Your humility is done it and finally you will make

1177
01:14:19,600 --> 01:14:23,599
Speaker 1: your grand interest. And at that time the world will

1178
01:14:23,640 --> 01:14:29,040
Speaker 1: not only see beauty, they'll witness destiny. Your future heaby.

1179
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:32,320
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoy this episode of the Dear Future

1180
01:14:32,320 --> 01:14:37,280
Speaker 1: Wife You podcast. Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently,

1181
01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:40,599
Speaker 1: and don't stop loving. Make sure to subscribe to our

1182
01:14:40,640 --> 01:14:43,960
Speaker 1: Dear Future Wife and YouTube channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts,

1183
01:14:44,040 --> 01:14:47,759
Speaker 1: Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher. You welcome your support. Simply

1184
01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:49,679
Speaker 1: share our podcast with your friends and family.