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Speaker 1: You could be a millionaire and be very dumb.

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Speaker 2: There have been a millionaire since nineteen and I could

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Speaker 2: tell you then that I had no idea what the

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Speaker 2: heck I was doing. Coming into a lot of success

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Speaker 2: very very young. It sounds like the dream for a

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Speaker 2: lot of people. For me, it exposed a lot of

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Speaker 2: things within myself that I needed to work on.

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Speaker 1: Everything in my life at that time was perfect.

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Speaker 2: It was like I had the perfect relationship to most people.

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Speaker 2: Me and my family are really close, and then I'm

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Speaker 2: making a lot of money.

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Speaker 1: It was a win in all areas until like the.

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Speaker 2: Year of twenty twenty three. God just like he sent

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Speaker 2: it all crashing down. I want to know what happened

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Speaker 2: in twenty twenty three. At that time, I had a

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Speaker 2: signals group. People would pay us monthly for us to

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Speaker 2: tell them this is what trade we're getting into.

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Speaker 1: And we were awesome. We were number one in the world.

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Speaker 2: But the money had become almost my God in a sense,

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Speaker 2: God told me to shut down my business. We had

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Speaker 2: a team meeting, so I joined the team meeting on

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Speaker 2: my phone, and I'm looking at three of the most

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Speaker 2: like loyal people in the company. Something my spirit just

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Speaker 2: like told me something. I turned my sister and I

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Speaker 2: was like, I think God wants me to fire one,

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Speaker 2: two and three, and these are the people that also

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Speaker 2: kind of kept the company together. Five days later, I

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Speaker 2: get back to Dallas and then one.

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Speaker 1: Two and three just woke up and left the company.

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Speaker 2: And that's when I kind of learned when God wants

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Speaker 2: you to move, move, and I wanted to restart.

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Speaker 1: I just don't think restarting would be losing everything.

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Speaker 3: Well, how did it end with the guy?

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Speaker 1: The way that I treated him was definitely not the kindest.

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Speaker 4: You're trying to encourage him, but you're masculating him in

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Speaker 4: the process.

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Speaker 2: Yes, he gets his money up. I just start noticing

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Speaker 2: I don't know if he's not responding as fast.

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Speaker 1: He's dry and like, what is this?

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Speaker 2: I tell him, I know we always talk about work,

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Speaker 2: but I want us to talk about like our relationship,

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Speaker 2: and he was like, we're not even in a relationship.

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Speaker 4: That's how you said it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like irritated through the relationship. It was a bit

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Speaker 2: rocky because I never felt that confirmation. I was like

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Speaker 2: love bombed into the relationship of like, God told me

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Speaker 2: you're my wife, and guys love to pull that God

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Speaker 2: told me no. If God did not confirm it with

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Speaker 2: both of us.

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Speaker 1: That's not a thing.

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Speaker 5: What did, if anything, that relationship teach you about femininity

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Speaker 5: and masculinity, and then how you might show up in

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Speaker 5: your relationship.

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Speaker 1: I love the girlies. I don't want them to like cancel.

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Speaker 4: Me, they won't trust me. It's a healthy platform. Then

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Speaker 4: they with you on this. What started as a search

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Speaker 4: for understanding became a journey of transformation. Every letter that

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Speaker 4: I wrote led me to this day. The day I

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Speaker 4: got married November the twenty second, twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 5: Dear my forever, Forever is a long time. That's how

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Speaker 5: long I'll love you. Those lyrics echo through every fiber

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Speaker 5: of my soul at the very thought of you.

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Speaker 4: This journey has culminated with you as both the award

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Speaker 4: and the reward of my pursuit of love. You are

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Speaker 4: the award, the honor God placed before me, the recognition

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Speaker 4: of growth, healing, and becoming the man I needed to be.

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Speaker 5: And you are the reward, the blessing given after endurance,

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Speaker 5: the gift promised to those who refuse to faint.

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Speaker 4: This isn't just our story, this is for all of us.

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Speaker 4: I'm the Terrassaar Whitfield.

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Speaker 1: I'm Ashley R. Whitfield.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to the Welcome to the diffree Dwifie Podcast. I'm

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Speaker 4: your host La TerraSAR.

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Speaker 3: Whitfield and I'm Ashley our Whitfield.

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Speaker 4: Listen. Are you still shacking up with us? Come on?

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Speaker 4: We're in season eleven. Come on, we're about to approach

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Speaker 4: the sixth year. Well yah, the six year anniversary Diffrewdwife

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Speaker 4: podcast takes place on April fifteen. Y'all been rocking with

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Speaker 4: me for a long time, and come on, let's go

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Speaker 4: ahead and make a commitment. Hit that subscription button and subscribe.

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Speaker 4: Make sure you turn on your notification bell. She'd be

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Speaker 4: notified about upcoming episodes. Let's go ahead and put a

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Speaker 4: goal that hit seven hundred thousand subscribers. We're on the cusp,

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Speaker 4: you know. Let's keep pushing. Tell your friends and family

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Speaker 4: members about it, and let me tell you why it's

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Speaker 4: so important, because not only has social media been flooded

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Speaker 4: with pitting men against women and women against men. What

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Speaker 4: I believe the Dear Future WiFi podcast purpose and mission

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Speaker 4: is is to speak to a culture that is very

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Speaker 4: toxic so it can bring a healthy perspective, and to

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Speaker 4: be honest with you, sponsors and brands they look and

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Speaker 4: see how many people are subscribed to the channel so

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Speaker 4: that they can become engaged and see it as a

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Speaker 4: viable source of advertising and sponsorship. So let's do your

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Speaker 4: small part. Hit that subscription button and subscribe. Well, if

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Speaker 4: you haven't gotten the book Student of Love, what are

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Speaker 4: you waiting for? It's available on audio, It's available on Amazon.

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Speaker 4: Everywhere you pick up your favorite book, go to that site.

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Speaker 4: It's a link in the description. Hit that link and

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Speaker 4: buy the book Student Love. It will transform your life.

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Speaker 4: And I'm to be showing you clips of people talking

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Speaker 4: about the impact of Student of Love. And I'm telling

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Speaker 4: you it's been extremely impactful. Well, today's episode. Been looking

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Speaker 4: really forward to this episode. Been looking forward to it

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Speaker 4: for how long about three days? Since Saturday Sincerity Sincerity,

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Speaker 4: So we've been looking forward to for three days. But

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Speaker 4: we're gonna deep dive and I'll tell you why this

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Speaker 4: episode is so impactful. So, without further ado, welcome to

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Speaker 4: a Dear Future WIFEI podcast. Our new homie Kelly O.

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Speaker 4: Gad you you just whatever you feel, whatever you feel?

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Speaker 1: Everybody?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So Kelly, let me tell you something I come

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Speaker 4: to know about you. I was on YouTube and my

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Speaker 4: good buddy Anthony O'Neill I saw a video that popped

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Speaker 4: up and he was talking about, uh. I think the

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Speaker 4: title was a nineteen year old that a nineteen year

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Speaker 4: old millionaire and a nineteen year old makes a million

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Speaker 4: a month or something like that. What was it? What

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Speaker 4: was the title that I think?

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Speaker 1: I think that was the thumbnail, and then I don't

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Speaker 1: remember what the title was.

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Speaker 4: We said something about a million a month, wasn't it?

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Speaker 4: And I was like, who in the world? And so

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Speaker 4: I was like, I got to see who this person is.

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Speaker 4: And so Ashley and I were going on a couple's

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Speaker 4: date this past Saturday and we were at the ice

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Speaker 4: cream shop and you walked up and said I would

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Speaker 4: love to be on Dear Future Wife podcast and I

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Speaker 4: was like, you know what, I said, you look familiar.

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Speaker 4: And after I started talking to you and sharing about

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Speaker 4: how you do day trade, and I was like, yep,

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Speaker 4: I knew who you are. And then Askedley his cousin

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Speaker 4: knew who you were because they was like, we watch

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Speaker 4: your content all the time. That's interesting. It's a small world.

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Speaker 4: And I never knew that you lived in Dallas, and

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Speaker 4: so yeah, we're gonna talk. We We're gonna have a

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Speaker 4: good convers I mean.

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Speaker 2: I think that in itself, I'm real big on like

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Speaker 2: this life is uncertain. We have one life to live,

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Speaker 2: so take every opportunity. I feel like some people probably

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Speaker 2: meet you guys and they're like, oh my gosh, hi,

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Speaker 2: or some people meet you from Afar and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I know them, but they'll never approach. But for me,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, well, if we're here right now, I might

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Speaker 2: as well. And like the worst thing that happens is

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Speaker 2: I get told no, and then I go on with

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Speaker 2: my day and I live another day.

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Speaker 1: So, but what made you so?

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Speaker 5: You said when you when you ran into us, you

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Speaker 5: said that you haven't really been doing a ton of interviews.

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Speaker 5: What made you want to come on? Dear future Wife?

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Speaker 5: Think like, so, I've seen Dear Future Wife feel a lot.

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Speaker 2: I think the the first episode I saw that I

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Speaker 2: actually didn't know was the podcast was.

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Speaker 1: I hate to bring it up, but.

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Speaker 2: When you know and there we go, No, you feel

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Speaker 2: good about bringing that up?

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Speaker 4: That that got a billion views?

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Speaker 1: That was that was all. I just remember when.

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Speaker 2: She was like, oh my god, like that like, I

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Speaker 2: actually started using it with like friends.

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Speaker 4: To witness shout out to.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I think like for me, I noticed coming

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Speaker 2: into a lot of success very very young. It sounds

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Speaker 2: like the dream for a lot of people. For me,

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Speaker 2: it exposed a lot of things within myself that I

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Speaker 2: needed to work on. And I also think there is

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Speaker 2: an arrogance that comes with making a lot of money,

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Speaker 2: especially quickly, and an entitlement. And I started realizing that

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Speaker 2: I was having kind of this oh, I know everything

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Speaker 2: and everything because everything in my life at that time

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Speaker 2: was perfect. It was like I had the perfect relationship

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Speaker 2: to most people. I had like the perfect familiar because

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Speaker 2: me and my family are really close. And then I'm

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Speaker 2: making a lot of money, so it was just like

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Speaker 2: it was a win in all areas until there was

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Speaker 2: like the year of twenty twenty three. God just like

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Speaker 2: he sent it all crashing down, which I loved and do.

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Speaker 4: A why happened? Are you talking about hindsight been twenty twenty.

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Speaker 1: You love hindsight? Mean?

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Speaker 4: Mom?

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Speaker 1: I No, I did not love it.

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Speaker 2: But I think for me, I realized, like, well, the

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Speaker 2: Bible says if you seek for wisdom, you should ask

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Speaker 2: God for it, and he'll give it to you, And

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Speaker 2: so I wanted to be intentional about There's a lot

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Speaker 2: I need to work on. There's a lot of ways

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Speaker 2: I need to mature. I also want to be in

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Speaker 2: person who I don't see age as a thing because

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Speaker 2: that used to be my thing. I'm nineteen years old

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Speaker 2: and I do that. It's like whether I am twenty

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Speaker 2: four or I am thirty four, or I'm speaking of

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Speaker 2: an individual it's fifty four. I don't want age to

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Speaker 2: ever be the defining factor of someone's wisdom, and so

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Speaker 2: I had to develop a lot of wisdom and discernment.

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Speaker 2: And I didn't want to come back to the internet

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Speaker 2: or just online until I knew that that was something

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Speaker 2: I really worked on. So even like last year in

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty five, I went on like a three day,

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Speaker 2: seventy seven hour Jesus retreat where I just it was

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Speaker 2: just me and him, no social media. And then after

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Speaker 2: that I took a six month social media break because

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Speaker 2: I was like, I just need time for me and him,

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Speaker 2: and then whenever I come back, it's me because I

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Speaker 2: didn't want to get caught up in numbers. I actually

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Speaker 2: don't like like people ask me, like, you know, how

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Speaker 2: many views do I get? How many followers do they

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Speaker 2: celebrate it? And for me, I'm like, but I'm not

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Speaker 2: here for the numbers, Like I'm just God gave me

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Speaker 2: a platform and I'm here to do with that to

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Speaker 2: serve the purpose. But it's easy for that stuff to

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Speaker 2: get to your head. But this year, I am back

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Speaker 2: and I think I'm finally in the point where I've

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Speaker 2: matured and had that growth and I'm still maturing every day.

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Speaker 2: Is I'm sure we all are, But yeah, I wanted

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Speaker 2: to be more intentional with that movie.

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Speaker 5: I want to know what happened in twenty twenty three?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I said, what was that pivotal moment that

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Speaker 4: changed everything?

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Speaker 1: So I think it was.

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Speaker 2: There were two things that happened, which was one, God

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Speaker 2: told me to shut down my business. And like on

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Speaker 2: the Anthony Oneo podcast, people thought I was lying because

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Speaker 2: I was like, God told me to drop out of

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Speaker 2: school and they were like, people.

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Speaker 1: Just say that, and I'm like, no, no, no, Like that's

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Speaker 1: a story in itself.

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Speaker 2: But he told me to shut down the business and

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Speaker 2: I knew that it was coming. And to give you

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Speaker 2: the short story of how that happened is since March

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Speaker 2: of twenty twenty three, I just knew, like I need

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Speaker 2: to shut down this company. I don't know why. It

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Speaker 2: was like a weird form of retirement. I kept feeling

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Speaker 2: like spiritually, but obviously we were making like the most

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Speaker 2: money ever, so like why would I do that?

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Speaker 4: And then we'll tell people, people that may not be

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Speaker 4: familiar with your word, Yeah, what were you doing?

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Speaker 2: So I had at that time, I had a signals group,

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Speaker 2: so it was like basically people would pay us monthly

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Speaker 2: for us to tell them this is what trade we're

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Speaker 2: getting into.

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Speaker 1: And we were awesome.

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Speaker 2: We were number one in the world and like globally ranked,

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Speaker 2: and it was awesome and we did very well. But

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Speaker 2: I didn't feel fulfilled. Because it's a story that connects itself.

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Speaker 2: But in twenty twenty, when I was in college and

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Speaker 2: I was dead broke, I prayed to God and I

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Speaker 2: was like, all my life I've been chasing the money,

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Speaker 2: Allow me to chase the education instead, because like I

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Speaker 2: resold everything from jewelry to shoes to Popeye chicken sandwiches.

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Speaker 2: It didn't matter like that was me so did they

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Speaker 2: were a little girl, Yeah, since I was little.

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Speaker 4: I just had that like the entrepreneurial spirit.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And so in twenty twenty three, I realized that

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Speaker 2: once again, it was like the money had become almost

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Speaker 2: my god in a sense where like I didn't spend

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Speaker 2: a lot of money on myself, I spent on other people.

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Speaker 2: But the fact that I made it made me, like

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Speaker 2: I said, the entitlement factor, and so I just kept

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Speaker 2: feeling like we needed to shut it down. But I

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Speaker 2: remember it was September sixth or September fifth, twenty twenty three,

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Speaker 2: and I was in La and I was heading to

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Speaker 2: an event that I'd gotten invited to and we had

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Speaker 2: a team meeting. So I joined the team meeting on

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Speaker 2: my phone, and you know, I'm just sitting there and

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Speaker 2: I'm looking at three of the most like loyal people

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Speaker 2: in the company, and I'm like, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Something. My spirit just like told me something.

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Speaker 2: I turned to my sister and I was like, I

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Speaker 2: think God wants me to fire one, two, and three,

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Speaker 2: and these are the three most I don't know where

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Speaker 2: the feeling came from. I just something told me, and

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Speaker 2: these are the people that also kind of kept the

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Speaker 2: company together. And then five days later I get back

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Speaker 2: to Dallas and I just wake up the next morning

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Speaker 2: of landing back, and then one, two, and three just

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Speaker 2: woke up and left the company just then.

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Speaker 4: I get cha the fire.

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Speaker 2: No, I mean I didn't even fully know if I

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Speaker 2: should have, but yeah, it's like, wow, that's when I

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Speaker 2: kind of learned when God wants you to move, he's

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Speaker 2: going to remove. Like there's been come a point where

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Speaker 2: like if he needs you to do something for somebody

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Speaker 2: else and you are now prohibiting your own ability to

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Speaker 2: do that, he's going to remove you. And so like

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, what did they say? I don't know, Oh,

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Speaker 2: they just yeah. There was only one that I've heard

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Speaker 2: from sincere Okay, there was two. One came back like

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Speaker 2: three weeks later and was like, I will only come

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Speaker 2: back to the company if you pay me more money.

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Speaker 2: And at that time, I was paying him way more

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Speaker 2: than I should have paid anybody. Like he was making

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Speaker 2: hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, so that just

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Speaker 2: wasn't making.

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Speaker 1: Hundreds hundreds And I was young.

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Speaker 2: I didn't understand money at the which is why I

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Speaker 2: pushed for financial education because I've lost millions, yeah, overpaying

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Speaker 2: people falling for like not even get rich quick schemes.

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Speaker 2: Just you don't properly vet who you're learning from, so

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Speaker 2: you don't don't have the right discernment to know what

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Speaker 2: to do. And I was just like throwing money. It's

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Speaker 2: because like when money is coming.

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Speaker 4: In, so the value gets lost tomorrow boom.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, he asked for more and I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to do that. Well, that was really

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Speaker 2: my legal team. They were like Kelly, enough with this.

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Speaker 2: And then another one actually came back like maybe a

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Speaker 2: month ago and like sent me a long paragraph of

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Speaker 2: like how they're.

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Speaker 1: So they're like very.

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Speaker 2: Grateful for the experience and all that, and I don't

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Speaker 2: know what happened with them. I think it was just

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Speaker 2: like a moment of group think. You just feel like, well,

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Speaker 2: she wouldn't have this if it wasn't for me. And

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Speaker 2: people can often discredit the amount of work you put

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Speaker 2: in when they see the success that precedes you when

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Speaker 2: you walk into rooms.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, like I I don't really know why they.

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Speaker 2: Left, but I started to understand like, oh, you want

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Speaker 2: me to shut this thing down. And I would pray

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Speaker 2: to God because I'd say, like, you know, give me

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Speaker 2: a chance to start from scratch because I don't know

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Speaker 2: how to.

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Speaker 1: Run a company.

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Speaker 2: So I'm making all this money, but I feel like

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Speaker 2: I'm drowning because I have no idea what I'm doing,

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Speaker 2: and I wanted to restart.

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Speaker 1: I just didn't think restarting would be losing everything.

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Speaker 2: And then at that time as well, I was in

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Speaker 2: a relationship with someone that like like he'd given me

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Speaker 2: a promise, ring and everything, like I was almost for

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Speaker 2: sure this.

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Speaker 1: Is the guy I was going to marry.

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Speaker 2: And then that relationship ended, and so it just kind

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Speaker 2: of led into a very humbling twenty twenty four. But

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Speaker 2: that's when I say, like all the stuff that I

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Speaker 2: held it this high standard of like I have this

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Speaker 2: dream guy, I'm like doing better than everyone else. It

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Speaker 2: was like God is like psych and then Boom removed it. Well,

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Speaker 2: how did it end with the guy?

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Speaker 1: Okay? So with the guy of before she tells the

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Speaker 1: story man, So basically, you have me to tell it

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Speaker 1: how I told you?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, tell me how you told us at the ice cream.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So Boom, what happened with me and him was

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Speaker 2: there was he was going through it like he was

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Speaker 2: he was struggling, but like he was also just a

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Speaker 2: college student, like we were both twenty nineteen twenty at

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Speaker 2: the time, so I don't expect him to be doing

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Speaker 2: what I'm doing at the time, but he wasn't even

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Speaker 2: I guess, remotely close to that.

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Speaker 1: And so I basically hired him and he was working

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Speaker 1: for me.

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Speaker 2: And I actually even never said this before, so hopefully

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Speaker 2: people don't connect the dots. But anyways, he was working

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Speaker 2: for me, and then basically he started to get money again,

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Speaker 2: he started to get back on his feed, he started

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Speaker 2: spending the money, and then I guess there is maybe

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Speaker 2: an ego change that happens for him where it's like, no,

360
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Speaker 2: this girl, like she put me down because and we'll

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Speaker 2: probably get into this within the conversation, but a lot

362
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Speaker 2: of what I learned as Wall was like the way

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Speaker 2: that I treated him was definitely not the kindest, and

364
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Speaker 2: I think that was just from again the entitlement thing.

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Speaker 2: I also can't fully remember it because like I had

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Speaker 2: a very spiritual experience with God where I felt that

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Speaker 2: leave me, like it was like a deep I was

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Speaker 2: like in a deep moment of prayer when I was

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Speaker 2: like I have to get rid of this, and whenever

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Speaker 2: whatever that was left, I like lost all memory. So

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Speaker 2: I can recall through stories, but I can't. It's just

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Speaker 2: not who I am anymore. So, yeah, I wasn't always

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Speaker 2: the kindest to him. I would push him, but like

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Speaker 2: like push him and be better, do better, But I don't.

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Speaker 4: You would talk to him poorly. You masculate him while

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Speaker 4: you're you're trying to encourage him, but you're masculating him

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Speaker 4: in the process.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And I think a lot of people they're like, well,

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00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,320
Speaker 2: that wasn't my intention, But I think they need to

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Speaker 2: look at your reception or the reception of the other person.

381
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Speaker 2: So whenever you were saying something, how is it being received,

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Speaker 2: Because if you're saying it in a condescending manner, then

383
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 2: they're not going to take it as this uplifting, motivational seminar.

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Speaker 1: You're trying to give them the seminar.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, So anyways, so he gets his money up,

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Speaker 2: he starts buying designer and like spending frivolously. I'm like,

387
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Speaker 2: oh my gosh, like how much do you have, like

388
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,239
Speaker 2: cause I know what I'm making you. Yeah, but he

389
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Speaker 2: also is trading it, so he's taking the money I'm

390
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,600
Speaker 2: paying him in trading, so I think he's making more.

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Speaker 2: And then he's like he's gonna buy a car. So

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Speaker 2: then my dad helps him source a car and it

393
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Speaker 2: was nice. It was a nice Alexis, Oh my gosh,

394
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Speaker 2: that car was nice as a first car insane, but yeah,

395
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Speaker 2: So then he goes to the dealership he buys the car.

396
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:32,280
Speaker 2: I'm like negotiating with the dealership for him because they're

397
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Speaker 2: trying to treat him like he doesn't know what he's doing.

398
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Speaker 2: So I'm like pretending to be his fiance her wife,

399
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Speaker 2: I don't even remember, but I'm like, first of all,

400
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,879
Speaker 2: when I was looking at the actual numbers, none of

401
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,680
Speaker 2: that made sense. So if you're gonna be doing this,

402
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:45,479
Speaker 2: we're not gonna work with you at all. We can

403
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Speaker 2: go to any dealership.

404
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,919
Speaker 1: What makes this go? Like That's how I was.

405
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Speaker 2: And he was like, oh my gosh, I'm going to

406
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Speaker 2: marry you, like and I was like, yeah, I know.

407
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:55,120
Speaker 1: But.

408
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I was negotiating for him. He got

409
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Speaker 2: the car. And then after he bought the car, he

410
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 2: drove to my parents' house. My dad's whole family prays

411
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,760
Speaker 2: over the car and they're like blessing it and all

412
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,360
Speaker 2: that because we've like watched his growth. And then after.

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Speaker 4: That long at this time, two years, how long were

414
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:15,120
Speaker 4: y'all dating.

415
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Speaker 2: This is like a year and a half, a year

416
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 2: and a half, and then we after he leaves, he

417
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Speaker 2: goes back home.

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Speaker 1: So he doesn't live in Dallas. He lives in another area,

419
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Speaker 1: and so.

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Speaker 2: He goes back home, and I just start noticing he's

421
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 2: a little off and like he's just I don't know,

422
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,679
Speaker 2: he's not responding as fast, he's dry, and like what

423
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:41,719
Speaker 2: is this? And so I remember, like I I tell him,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, well, you know, I know we always talk

425
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,199
Speaker 2: about work, but I want us to talk about like

426
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Speaker 2: our relationship. And he was like, we're not even in

427
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Speaker 2: a relationship. And I was like that's how, yeah, like irritated,

428
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm I'm pretty you know, like

429
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Speaker 2: I'm this.

430
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,200
Speaker 1: I don't really know what to say.

431
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,160
Speaker 2: At this point, I feel like the dynamic has shifted

432
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,400
Speaker 2: because I think I was back then.

433
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Speaker 1: What's the word I'm looking for?

434
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 2: But I was showcasing a lot of like narcissistic traits

435
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,520
Speaker 2: and he was more on the codependent side. Went through

436
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:17,440
Speaker 2: a lot of therapy as well, And my therapists always

437
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 2: tell me, what, Kelly, you can't narcissists.

438
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Speaker 1: Don't know they're narcissistic. I'm like, well, I was somewhere

439
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 1: on that spectrum, like let me take the accountability, but somewhere.

440
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think there's a thing and it's called

441
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 2: the human magnet syndrome, where like there is a spectrum

442
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 2: and basically anyone that's codependent can switch to narcissistic, and

443
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 2: narcissist can switch to codependent because it's really just two

444
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 2: insecure people who are fighting for attention and so they

445
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,440
Speaker 2: need to feel validated in some way.

446
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 1: And so yeah, like I think at that point.

447
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 2: It's switched to where he started exhibiting those traits and

448
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,399
Speaker 2: I was more like just pleading for his attention, and

449
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 2: I was also like really changing as a person, like

450
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,440
Speaker 2: I could feel it. And yeah, I remember I just

451
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 2: told him, I'm like, okay, I mean, I guess, and

452
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 2: then he just kept being dry and then I finally

453
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,360
Speaker 2: asked him. I was like, you know, I noticed something's

454
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 2: off with you, Like what's going on? And he just

455
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 2: called me and he was like, well, I was gonna

456
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,040
Speaker 2: wait till I came back into town, but you already

457
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 2: could tell. So I just think we need to focus

458
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:28,360
Speaker 2: on us in our relationship with God. And I was like, so,

459
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 2: what does that mean. He's like, I'm telling you, Kelly,

460
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 2: we need to focus on us in our relationship with God.

461
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 2: And I'm like, so are you saying we're breaking Kelly.

462
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 2: I'm saying we need to focus on us in our

463
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:39,160
Speaker 2: relationship with God.

464
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, like I.

465
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 2: Can speak about it now, but like in the moment,

466
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 2: I was very emotional and like he was just getting

467
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 2: so angry at me. Inside of him I'd never seen before,

468
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 2: Like he was the sweetest guy the entire relationship, and

469
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 2: I was just like, Okay, this doesn't make any sense.

470
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,479
Speaker 1: But whatever.

471
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:04,439
Speaker 2: So after that, we're still in communication and my Christmas

472
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,119
Speaker 2: gift for him, which brings in like the car is

473
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 2: I had planned to give him and I still gave

474
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:13,120
Speaker 2: it to him. I was like, well, I wanted I'd

475
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 2: already planned to give him half the down payment of

476
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 2: his car, and like it was my investment into the

477
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 2: future with us, and I was like, well, I know

478
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,760
Speaker 2: we're just taking this time to focus on ourselves, but

479
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 2: like this is still me wanting to invest in our

480
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 2: future because I still do believe in us. It was like,

481
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 2: thank you so much, Kelly. You know it's all up

482
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 2: to God and I'll be praying that it works out.

483
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 1: He didn't pray it or.

484
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 2: Because that basically he already had another girl and I

485
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:43,920
Speaker 2: had found that out.

486
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,439
Speaker 1: I don't remember how I found it out. I just

487
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 1: I just knew.

488
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,160
Speaker 2: I don't know, I just you know, he just know

489
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,879
Speaker 2: And then he confirmed it because two months later we

490
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,360
Speaker 2: had a company trip to Vegas because I was hosting

491
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 2: the celebrity Poker tournament at the time. I was like

492
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 2: their main interview host and he had come with me.

493
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 1: Really he should have never came.

494
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,639
Speaker 2: And anyways, he came with me, and I remember that

495
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,959
Speaker 2: like he saw a guy facetimed me and then he

496
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 2: like came to my room at twelve am and like

497
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 2: my hotel room, and he was like, I really need

498
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 2: to talk to you because I had a dream and

499
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 2: like I just feel like it's God telling me to

500
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 2: talk to you.

501
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, what do we need, Like what

502
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 1: do you want to talk about?

503
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 2: And he's like, well, I had this dream and there

504
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 2: was three guys and I was like okay, and he

505
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 2: was like and.

506
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 1: Then there was me.

507
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,640
Speaker 2: And at the time I was talking to three different guys.

508
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 2: I was explaining my options.

509
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I had to your dream is correct.

510
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 4: Correct.

511
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 2: I was there like, oh, the dream is He's like,

512
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 2: there's three guys and there's me, and the only person

513
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,159
Speaker 2: you're paying attention to was me.

514
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 1: And it was a little bit more.

515
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 2: Vulgar, like like what he actually said.

516
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:59,160
Speaker 1: I was like, honest, God showed you that form.

517
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's like he's like, there's three guys and

518
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 2: there's me. The only person you're paying attention to it's me.

519
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 2: And I was like, so, what is that telling you?

520
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,159
Speaker 2: And he's like, I just feel like God's telling me

521
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,159
Speaker 2: you're talking to other people, Kelly, why would you?

522
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 4: I'm like.

523
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 2: The only person I actually care about it and you're

524
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 2: And I think maybe it was manipulation. I don't know

525
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,920
Speaker 2: what was going on there, but yeah, I think.

526
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 4: Where'd you talk about the beginning? How y'all started? Right?

527
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 1: You said, like, how did we start?

528
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 4: No, I'm talking about that conversation took place when this

529
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 4: was two.

530
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:40,119
Speaker 2: Months after the breakup. Oh no, like when we first started.

531
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 2: It was also another revelation from God. It was you know,

532
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 2: guys love to pull that. God told me, no, if

533
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 2: God did not confirm it with both of us, that's

534
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 2: not a thing. And that's where through the relationship. It

535
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 2: was a bit rocky because I never felt that confirmation.

536
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,479
Speaker 2: I was like love bombed into the relationship of like,

537
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,679
Speaker 2: God told me you're my wife. And he said, like

538
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,120
Speaker 2: his grandma told him, Oh, you're going to meet your

539
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:09,239
Speaker 2: future wife Sue, and she's gonna have no tattoos, she

540
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 2: doesn't drink, she doesn't smoke, and he's like, Kelly, when

541
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 2: I met you, I just knew.

542
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:15,399
Speaker 4: And I was like, so you checked all those boxes.

543
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 1: I did check all those boxes, but like.

544
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 4: Was it like shortly after the grandma said it?

545
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, And we had like this weird like it was

546
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:26,679
Speaker 2: a late night phone call and there was like this

547
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,679
Speaker 2: spiritual thing that happened on the call, and so I

548
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 2: did feel there was a connection. But I also was

549
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 2: talking to another person at the time. But the other

550
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 2: person I was talking to had just gotten out of

551
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 2: a five year relationship and it was like two weeks

552
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 2: post breakup. So he was telling me, he's like, you know,

553
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 2: you're just a rebound, right, because he asked me to

554
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 2: be his val fine, and I was like, I'm talking

555
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,879
Speaker 2: to someone He's like, you're just a rebound, right, And

556
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, I don't like to see

557
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 2: it that way, but that's what it was.

558
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 3: What was the spiritual thing that happened.

559
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 2: So he had to cut his hair, like he needed

560
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 2: to cut his hair. And he was saying like he

561
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 2: felt like his hair growth was tied and he didn't

562
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 2: have like dreads or anything. It was just his hair

563
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 2: has grown out. It was tied to like just some

564
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 2: some spiritual things and like, I guess wicked things are

565
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 2: happening in his life, and he felt like it was

566
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 2: time for him to finally cut it. And then he

567
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 2: had me on the sink, like in the bathroom mirror,

568
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 2: and then he was like, where's my comb? I can't

569
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,639
Speaker 2: find my comb? My comb is always on the sink.

570
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 2: And this guy's like the most organized guy known.

571
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 4: To like with the hedge on a sink, y'all talking

572
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 4: on video call.

573
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, But like he doesn't lose things, Like if

574
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 2: a shoot is tilted, he will stop what he's doing

575
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 2: to go correct. Like he's like incredibly organized. So if

576
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 2: he loses a comb, that doesn't make sense because he

577
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 2: doesn't lose things.

578
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 1: And he's like going all.

579
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 2: Around his room and so he takes me into his

580
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:51,159
Speaker 2: closet and he's like where I couldn't have put my

581
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 2: comba anywhere, like where's my comb? And then all of

582
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 2: a sudden, there's just like this shattering, like this loud noise,

583
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 2: and then he goes to the bathroom and his mirror

584
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 2: just completely fell and like shattered all over the bathroom.

585
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,160
Speaker 4: What fell off the wall?

586
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 2: Yes, fell off the wall, and so he was like,

587
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 2: somebody doesn't want me to cut my hair, So tomorrow,

588
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 2: first thing I'm doing is I'm cutting my hair. And

589
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 2: so that was like but it was like two am

590
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 2: at this time, So it was just really weird because

591
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,119
Speaker 2: what are the odds that like his.

592
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:24,400
Speaker 4: Weird fell off the wall.

593
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 2: It fell off the wall. It was It was weird,

594
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 2: but like I don't know. I was like, dang, And

595
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 2: I remember just being on the call like he's going

596
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:36,920
Speaker 2: to think, like I'm the one now thinking that because

597
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,679
Speaker 2: then like he also got very emotional. He started crying

598
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 2: to me and like just opening up, and I was like,

599
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,439
Speaker 2: you know, like I was there for him, but I

600
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 2: also was like this is a really deep late.

601
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,359
Speaker 1: Night bond, and I also am interested in somebody.

602
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 4: Else that's just got a five year relationship, been two weeks.

603
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:58,880
Speaker 1: Out, you know, young, I won't even call it love

604
00:27:58,920 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 1: young infatuation.

605
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 4: So at that time you were nineteen or twenty, you

606
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:03,600
Speaker 4: were still in college, right.

607
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, I was in college.

608
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 2: I left college in like summer twenty twenty two, so

609
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 2: like I was there for a semester and a half.

610
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 1: A year and a half. That like threw me off

611
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 1: for a second.

612
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 2: But anyways, but yeah, but at this point, I'm living

613
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 2: in my parents' living room because like we didn't have

614
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,439
Speaker 2: enough rooms everyone's home, and so I'm just living in

615
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 2: the living room and that's like that was kind of

616
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 2: my thing. So I'm just hearing like this half bunk

617
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,920
Speaker 2: bed in the living room, like on the phone with him.

618
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 2: And that was actually at the point I realized I

619
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 2: needed to move out. And I looked at the prices

620
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 2: of a house, and I looked at the prices of renting,

621
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 2: and renting like was three thousand dollars a month, buying

622
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 2: a million dollar house was three thousand dollars a month.

623
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 2: So I just casually went to my parents and I

624
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 2: was like, I want to buy all the house because

625
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 2: I can't keep doing this living room.

626
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: And my dad is like, what does.

627
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 4: This, Like he thinks you're making money. Then, yeah, okay.

628
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 1: But they don't under stand the extent of the money

629
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 1: I'm making. So they like, she's just talking. But that's

630
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:05,720
Speaker 1: another story.

631
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 4: But yeah, that was so you was making money like that,

632
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 4: still staying at home, sleeping in living room.

633
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm like, I've always been kind of more

634
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 2: on the humble side.

635
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 1: I don't I don't spend myself.

636
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 4: The parents never knew that. They just what were they

637
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 4: think it?

638
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 1: No, they knew I was making money. I don't think.

639
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 2: I mean, we got a thing like back in twenty twenty,

640
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 2: twenty twenty one, pre This is pre but it's also

641
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 2: entering the course online money era.

642
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 4: Yeah.

643
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 2: So for even a child or even a parent to

644
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 2: make a.

645
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: Million dollars as I've heard of.

646
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I don't think that they could even

647
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 2: visualize or understand or even like conceptualize what.

648
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 1: That looks like.

649
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think for them, like my dad said,

650
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 2: like he was actually really irritated with me. He thought

651
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 2: I was joking and he was like, why would she

652
00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 2: do that? Like what kind of choke is that?

653
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 4: So?

654
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, so first you started trading, and then you started

655
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 5: and then I started the group. The group, Okay, but

656
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 5: the group is like it was it accidentally turned into

657
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 5: a business because it just the first TikTok I made

658
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 5: blew up.

659
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 4: Got seven thousand, You got seven thousand people joined the group.

660
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 1: Exactly, Oh you did, So I had to. I had

661
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: to kind of make it a company.

662
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 2: That's why I felt like I was drowning, because I

663
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 2: was like, I don't know what running company do a negative?

664
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 4: Twenty six dollars, twenty three dollars? Yeah, yeah, boom, And

665
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 4: you had your Robinhood account that had fifty dollars and then.

666
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I love this. This is like an

667
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 2: example of what every.

668
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 1: Single host should be done.

669
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 2: I see some people, I'm like, you just wanted to

670
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 2: use mic like it's okay, but anyways, No, yes, that's

671
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 2: that's what happened. My bank account was negative. That's when

672
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 2: I did the prayer to God.

673
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 4: But I didn't know you were still staying at home

674
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 4: with your parents and then why you were making money.

675
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 4: I just assumed as soon as you start making money

676
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 4: you got in your own place. I didn't know you

677
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 4: were just still staying at home making all this money

678
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 4: and living like that.

679
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 2: I mean, it's just yeah, I don't even like to me,

680
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 2: I guess I didn't really think of moving out, or

681
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 2: maybe I was afraid to move out because even when

682
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 2: I moved out, it took my parents a while to

683
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 2: adapt to that idea because I'm the youngest daughter. But

684
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 2: then also like I was the first that would have

685
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 2: moved out of the house.

686
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:35,400
Speaker 4: Is it typically in your culture, because you're Nigerian, that

687
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 4: the preferred way is to move out once you get married.

688
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 2: Yes, that is a preferred way, and I think a

689
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 2: lot of people. It was a conversation I was having

690
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 2: someone yesterday that I think a lot of people try

691
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 2: and force maturity, and they're forcing a maturity is either

692
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 2: moving out the house per marriage or just getting married

693
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 2: really early because they're afraid to actually have the difficult

694
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 2: conversations with their parents and talk to their parents and

695
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 2: like stand up for themselves. And so their thing is, oh,

696
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 2: if I if I get married, then that'll finally let

697
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 2: them see me as an adult. If I get a

698
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 2: good job and move out, that'll let them see me

699
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 2: as an adult. But it's like, I don't believe an

700
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 2: adult is a way of age. I think it's a

701
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 2: way of being and if you're maturity level, because I've

702
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 2: met some guys that are like thirty eight and I'm like, dang,

703
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 2: I think you were like child, you're like the way

704
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 2: you think. But yeah, I think that a lot of people.

705
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: That's yeah.

706
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 2: And I me and my parents have a very healthy

707
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 2: relationship growing up. They were very strict, so that wasn't

708
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 2: always fun. But my dad would always tell me like,

709
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 2: the world is not your friend, and I think that's

710
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 2: what made me like really value discernment and not.

711
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: Trusting people as easily. And my mom always says that,

712
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 1: like she.

713
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 2: Said, I trust nobody, not even myself, And I'm like,

714
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 2: I just think that's a little dramatic, but I get you.

715
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 4: I would you trust myself, don't trust nobody, not even yourself.

716
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 2: Like Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna walk every single day.

717
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 2: And by day three she hasn't gone her walk. It's

718
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 2: like so you know, but yeah. But to take it

719
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 2: back to like that that veguus stay of how I

720
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 2: found out was just like he was arguing with me

721
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 2: about oh, like you're talking to three guys and I

722
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 2: told him. I was like, well, well, he said, He's like,

723
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 2: it's only been two months, You've already moved on.

724
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, you already moved on, and

725
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 1: he was like, oh, I found out about the girl

726
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: because I actually don't.

727
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 4: Transparency.

728
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 2: We'll get back to how I found out about the girl.

729
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 2: But I brought it up to them and then he

730
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 2: started stuttering and he was like, what do you mean?

731
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 2: And I was like, so, I know you're talking to someone.

732
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 2: When did you meet them?

733
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 1: What do you mean?

734
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 2: And I'm like, like, did you start talking to them

735
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:52,479
Speaker 2: after we broke up?

736
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: Did you start talking to them before we broke up?

737
00:33:55,280 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 1: And he was like, you know what, that.

738
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter, and I was like, no, no, no, because you're

739
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 2: asking me these questions, so I'm asking you and he's

740
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,399
Speaker 2: like it was within the same week.

741
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 1: I can laugh about it now.

742
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 2: It was so heartbreaking that I was like, oh, okay,

743
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 2: but no, I found out about the girl because I

744
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,280
Speaker 2: found out he was taking her on dates.

745
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 1: Because there was one night that I was.

746
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 2: Like, I'm going to go fight for this relationship and

747
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,759
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, this is just so I've actually never

748
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:36,280
Speaker 2: said this, but I remember like I was really deeply

749
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 2: reflecting on like how terribly I treated him during the relationship,

750
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 2: and I was like, no, I'm going to change. I'm

751
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 2: going to do better, and so I went and I

752
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 2: bought his favorite food, I bought his favorite headphones.

753
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,400
Speaker 1: I bought these roses.

754
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 2: It was like two hundred dollar roses that would never die.

755
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 1: So I still have them to this day. You know,

756
00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 1: we'll talk about that.

757
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 2: But I got these roses and it was to symbolize,

758
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:04,919
Speaker 2: like our love will never die. And then I drove

759
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 2: to his house and I was like, oh, and I

760
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,240
Speaker 2: bought a brand new Cardier watch like a month prior,

761
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:13,439
Speaker 2: and they gave me this like custom Cardier champagne and.

762
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,719
Speaker 1: It had like a rose embedded into such a nice champagne.

763
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:22,280
Speaker 2: And I was like, dang, I don't even drink, but

764
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 2: I'm I like, it was supposed to be like a

765
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 2: decorative piece.

766
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 1: Now I wanted to give it as a gift.

767
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:30,720
Speaker 2: And I go to his house and I like, I remember,

768
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 2: I drive an hour to his house because it was

769
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:37,399
Speaker 2: an hour away, and I'm sitting outside and I call

770
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 2: him and he sends me to voicemail and I said,

771
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 2: because like he never sent me a voice and I'm like, hey, like,

772
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:45,279
Speaker 2: are you home.

773
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 1: He's like no, he's not home. I'm like, what are

774
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 1: you doing? He's like I'm out and I just know

775
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 1: he's with a girl. I'm like, oh my gosh. And

776
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:56,440
Speaker 1: so basically he I'm like, you know, can I talk

777
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: to you?

778
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 2: And he's like no, like I don't know what you're

779
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:01,359
Speaker 2: doing at my house and I'm like, but I really

780
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 2: just need to talk to you. He's like, is it

781
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 2: an emergency? And I'm like, well, for me, it is.

782
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 2: And then he calls me and he's like, Kelly, I

783
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 2: just don't like when you call me because every time

784
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 2: you call me, it just like it just makes me

785
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 2: so mad, like it just raises my anxiety, like just

786
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 2: stresses me out. And I was like, oh, like my bad,

787
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 2: Like I just wanted to talk to you, and he's

788
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,880
Speaker 2: like is it important because I'm out to eat right now,

789
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 2: and I'm like are you with someone? He's like, yeah,

790
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 2: I am, And I was like okay. I was like,

791
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 2: well when will you be home. He's like, I don't know,

792
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 2: in like forty minutes, and I was like okay. So

793
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 2: like every minute it feels like a year. It feels

794
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 2: like a year, and so I'm like trying to watch

795
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 2: YouTube videos. I'm trying to fall asleep. I just can't,

796
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 2: like my stomach's and knots. I remember, forty minutes passes.

797
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, he should be pulling up now, and

798
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 2: so I call him and I'm like, you know, are

799
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,879
Speaker 2: you here, and he's like, no, I haven't left. I'm

800
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 2: at the grocery store. I'm like, oh my gosh. And

801
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,840
Speaker 2: so then it takes another hour for him to finally

802
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 2: come home. I think he's really irritated with me. I

803
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 2: don't think he is. And he's like, well, we can

804
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:09,320
Speaker 2: talk outside. It's like forty degrees outside. This is in January.

805
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 2: So I'm like, we're not talking outside, like I've been

806
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,040
Speaker 2: in your house before, we can go to your house.

807
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:17,359
Speaker 1: So he's I keep fighting him.

808
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 2: Anyways, we make it up to the room finally, because

809
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:23,240
Speaker 2: he just keeps fighting me, and I'm like every five seconds,

810
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 2: I just feel like my I don't even my self

811
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 2: esteem is just plummeting. It's like, oh my gosh, I'm

812
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:32,080
Speaker 2: begging this person to talk to them, and so I like,

813
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 2: bring all the gifts and then I'm like, you know,

814
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,840
Speaker 2: I just really wanted to apologize about the relationship and

815
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 2: blah blah blah. Then I just break out into like

816
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 2: a mess and I'm just crying and I'm just like

817
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 2: bawling my eyes out, and then.

818
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:46,839
Speaker 1: And then I get on my knees.

819
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 2: And I'm begging him on my knee and I just

820
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 2: will never do that again. But in the moment, it

821
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:59,359
Speaker 2: was my symbolism of like.

822
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 1: Like, I really want this to work.

823
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 2: And the weirdest thing is as I was on my

824
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:06,840
Speaker 2: knees crying and bawling, it's like he just had this

825
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 2: smile on his face.

826
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 1: He loved it. He loved every second of it.

827
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 2: And I was just like, okay, you know, usually I'm

828
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,440
Speaker 2: used to like if we do break up, we get

829
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,239
Speaker 2: back together, but he was like standing on business. He

830
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 2: was like no, and he was eating that food as

831
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 2: I was talking. He was eating and smiling. And then

832
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 2: he like left to go call his mom because him

833
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:35,879
Speaker 2: and his mom, he was like a huge mama's boy,

834
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,319
Speaker 2: and that in itself is its own.

835
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 1: That's a whole story though, whole another dynamic, a whole

836
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 1: another dynamic.

837
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 2: But anyways, he had to go call his mom and

838
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 2: then he like, I remember it's like twelve am, and

839
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 2: he was putting on his crocs and like his hoodie

840
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, are you going to the gym?

841
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 2: And he was like no, I was like, are you

842
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 2: going to see that girl?

843
00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 1: He was like yeah, Oh my god. And I was like, ooh,

844
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 1: I don't like I don't like reliving this story. Though.

845
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 4: That's a teachable moment, though, Yeah, and mature you like

846
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 4: nothing else could have mature man, I.

847
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 1: Said, okay.

848
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:15,440
Speaker 2: And I think what really frustrated me is I like

849
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 2: I funded his entire life and it's just like to

850
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 2: know the financial investment you make into a verse and

851
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 2: a lot of the times where I I shut down

852
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,760
Speaker 2: the things I had to do to you know, uplift

853
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 2: him and make him feel better and be there for him,

854
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 2: and you know, in short, this is because I never

855
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 2: really got a true reason why the relationship ended.

856
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 1: But I think I just kind of ticket as like

857
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 1: I don't know.

858
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 2: I think for his family, I was like a lottery

859
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 2: ticket of some sort, because like they didn't care about me.

860
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 2: After the breakup, I had like gotten in a car

861
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,640
Speaker 2: accident and his mom called, yeah, because it man, it

862
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 2: was a lot going on.

863
00:39:58,320 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 4: What do you say? He said, you got in a

864
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 4: car ACTI then, how how close to when y'all broke up?

865
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:06,560
Speaker 2: That was like it was like a month and some

866
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 2: change and it wasn't because of the breakup, but like that,

867
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 2: like he started blowing up my phone, and I just

868
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 2: I think the breakup is more toxic than the actual relationship,

869
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,799
Speaker 2: because I think he just didn't want to fully let

870
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 2: me go until he had something else secured, and so

871
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:29,239
Speaker 2: he'd still be talking to other girls. But it's like,

872
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 2: but I need to make sure Kelly's not talking anybody. Yes,

873
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 2: And I wish if I could do it again the

874
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,800
Speaker 2: day he was like, I think we should focus on ourselves,

875
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 2: and god, I would have been like, okay, all right.

876
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:42,399
Speaker 1: And then like never spoken to him again. And there

877
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:47,160
Speaker 1: was a point in December twenty twenty four where he

878
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 1: was like he he called me like five six times.

879
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 2: He called my brother like three four times, and I

880
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 2: don't even know why he did.

881
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 1: But he texted me.

882
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,840
Speaker 2: He was like, hey, Kelly, it's important, Can you call me.

883
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 2: He texted my brother the same thing, and I told

884
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 2: my brother. I was like, do not answer, because like

885
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 2: the story's all over the place now. But six months

886
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 2: after we broke up, he like got a girlfriend and

887
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,360
Speaker 2: was trying to like puff it in my face. I

888
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:15,120
Speaker 2: was still playing games, like he got a girlfriend. But

889
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 2: then he asked my trainer if they could play chess

890
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 2: at my apartment. But he doesn't live at my apartment,

891
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:26,720
Speaker 2: so they're just playing chess, and I'm just understanding, like okay,

892
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 2: Like I don't like these games. And so I told him, like,

893
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 2: can we have an actual conversation about what is going

894
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,360
Speaker 2: on here? Because every time I try to move on,

895
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,920
Speaker 2: it's like you're trying to figure out.

896
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:37,759
Speaker 4: What I'm doing. Yep.

897
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 2: And he was like, no, like, we don't need to

898
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 2: have a conversation, blah blah blah. He's just talking to

899
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,359
Speaker 2: me so rudely. I had, like my security at the time.

900
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 2: My security was like he was actually very physically disturbed

901
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:55,839
Speaker 2: because he was like, I've never heard a man talk

902
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 2: to a woman like that. I would never let a

903
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 2: man talk to my mother like that. I'd never let

904
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 2: a man talk to my daughter like that. That is

905
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 2: the rudest way I've ever seen a man talk to

906
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 2: a woman.

907
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:07,919
Speaker 4: And I was like, and you said, this all came

908
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,279
Speaker 4: out after y'all broke up, this personality trait, you know, he.

909
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 2: Changed, he changed, he was It was so hard for

910
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 2: me to like, I still wonder if who I had

911
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,879
Speaker 2: for the year and a half was a facade and

912
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 2: like if there was ever a world where him in

913
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,879
Speaker 2: a state of being successful would have ever even been

914
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 2: in a relationship with me, Like I don't know, And

915
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 2: it's not like a thing of do I think that

916
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 2: I was worthy of him? Like I think it's just

917
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 2: I was valuable also because of what.

918
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 4: Upread of life. You upgrade his life and upgraded his confidence.

919
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:48,800
Speaker 4: It's interesting because and one on one side, you upgraded

920
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:53,879
Speaker 4: his confidence on the level of acquiring finances, but then

921
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 4: you also admit that you tore him down emotionally in

922
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 4: the process of it. So now you just that's his

923
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 4: villain story, you know, like this origin story. It's villain

924
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:06,359
Speaker 4: origin story. I remember when I had nothing and I

925
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 4: dated this woman that had everything, and then you broke

926
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 4: them down and he built himself up. Which is interesting

927
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:15,840
Speaker 4: because that's what leads to this red pill community that

928
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:18,279
Speaker 4: we have. This is what reads to the manisphere, is

929
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,880
Speaker 4: that they've started out as good men, but they weren't

930
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:23,920
Speaker 4: making This is why I say, I have to be

931
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:27,720
Speaker 4: very I believe that women have to be extremely aware

932
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 4: of this and men have to be extremely aware not

933
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 4: to allow this to infect their mind. The manisphere in

934
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 4: the red pill community is built off of men that

935
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,959
Speaker 4: have been hurt. That's all. It just broken boys, whether

936
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 4: it was from their mom, whether it's from their first

937
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 4: love in the twelfth grade, whatever it is, they will

938
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 4: not heal from heartbreak. And they'll look at him like,

939
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,920
Speaker 4: I met this woman, I did everything for her, and

940
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:52,759
Speaker 4: she cheated on me. You know what I'm saying, Yeah,

941
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 4: she cheated on me. I came and to be the

942
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 4: other way around where he came to the apartment with

943
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:02,279
Speaker 4: the teddy bear and forever roses and all that, and

944
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 4: then he knocked on the door. She opened the door

945
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:06,400
Speaker 4: and there's a dude in there, and he's like, women

946
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 4: don't want nice guys. Nice guys always finished last year.

947
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 4: You know these catchphrases that take place.

948
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 1: They so this is like what they're telling themselves to.

949
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 4: Film over and over again. And then they start saying,

950
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 4: I know how you get women, dog them out, that's

951
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,400
Speaker 4: what makes them want you more. I remember growing up

952
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 4: where guy said, oh, if you treat women good, they

953
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,880
Speaker 4: gonna run over you. You gotta dog them out, and you

954
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 4: go what I remember, it was like that is so crazy.

955
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 4: But then unfortunately you would look at it and you

956
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 4: would see it. You would see that thank you Holy Spirit.

957
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 4: Even your own story the moment that he started treating

958
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 4: you bad, you said you got to a place of

959
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:46,960
Speaker 4: humility where you got on your knees and bag for him. Yeah.

960
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 4: I never did that the whole relationship.

961
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:50,920
Speaker 2: I know, no, And that's where the smile is. I

962
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 2: think for he finally got that validation.

963
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:54,959
Speaker 1: It was like, oh, this feels good.

964
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:58,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, like for one time, I'm finally being so I

965
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 2: think he kept trying to pick five with me because I.

966
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 1: Think he kept craving that.

967
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 2: Like I could tell he would try and have arguments

968
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:08,000
Speaker 2: just so I would start begging for him back. He'd

969
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 2: like purposely be rude, Like I'd be like, okay, let's

970
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:12,400
Speaker 2: talk about the relationship. He'd be like, okay, we can

971
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 2: talk about it, and then he'd just be on his

972
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 2: phone like giggle.

973
00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:16,879
Speaker 1: I'm there like.

974
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:21,960
Speaker 2: Okay, And I think he was he really wanted me

975
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 2: to beg and I after that day, I was like,

976
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 2: I'll never do that again. So my ego went up.

977
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 2: It was like, even if I'm hurting, I'll never let

978
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:30,480
Speaker 2: you see it.

979
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:31,439
Speaker 1: Yeah.

980
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 5: So did you ever want some of the things that

981
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:36,840
Speaker 5: you gave him back?

982
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 1: Oh? Absolutely, Like nine percent of the things.

983
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 2: She's still kind of the roses like, and I did

984
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,560
Speaker 2: get the Cardia champaign about it. He was like, if

985
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 2: you're giving me this, you think we're gonna like celebrate

986
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 2: something one day.

987
00:45:58,200 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 1: It's never happening.

988
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 4: He said that, and then you know.

989
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:04,879
Speaker 1: Me, I was like, Oh, I don't want to look

990
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,359
Speaker 1: like that's what I thought. So I was like, oh,

991
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 1: you can give it, like.

992
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 4: If you think we just look, that's never going to happen.

993
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,280
Speaker 4: Oh no, I'm just ga because I didn't want it around.

994
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:22,680
Speaker 4: I don't dream that's reason why I gave for you.

995
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,680
Speaker 5: Do you think that because you gave him so much

996
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 5: that now I mean, and I know we'll talk about

997
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,839
Speaker 5: this you're dating now, do you think that that will

998
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 5: affect the way that because it sounds like you were

999
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 5: a giver, do you think that will affect the way

1000
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 5: you'll show up in your next relationship?

1001
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,719
Speaker 2: I think, like, so, I don't want to be the

1002
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,319
Speaker 2: person that gets hurt once and then they let that

1003
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:47,759
Speaker 2: affect them and I am just naturally a giver. So

1004
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 2: that's where I felt like one my discernment had to increase.

1005
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 2: But I also think a conversation that isn't ever being

1006
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,600
Speaker 2: had online when it comes to strong.

1007
00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:59,399
Speaker 1: Woman who need to make a lot of money and like.

1008
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 2: You don't need them in is is that arrogance that

1009
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 2: gets built, you know? And so when men say like, oh,

1010
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 2: we don't care about a woman's money, we care about

1011
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,160
Speaker 2: it's because of the way she acts when she has that.

1012
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,560
Speaker 2: Girls don't understand that it's a real thing. So I

1013
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 2: still want to because I run the company. I'm like,

1014
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 2: this super dominant presence online in my relationship now is

1015
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 2: the last place I want to be that. So I

1016
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 2: still want to be feminine. I still want a man

1017
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:30,919
Speaker 2: who still leads the household and he takes care of things.

1018
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,800
Speaker 2: And like, you know, I think people have this conversation

1019
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 2: about like fifty to fifty or like should a man

1020
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:40,439
Speaker 2: pay for everything? Or and me like, obviously I would

1021
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:43,800
Speaker 2: want my man to primarily take care of the household,

1022
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:45,400
Speaker 2: but I also wonder what it is primarily me.

1023
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, do you want him to pay pay all the

1024
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 4: bills with his money?

1025
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:51,000
Speaker 1: Yes? But here's here's the thing.

1026
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 2: And like my opinion on relationship changes every three to

1027
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:57,720
Speaker 2: five business dates.

1028
00:47:54,600 --> 00:48:03,360
Speaker 1: God, that's there. It's an evolution. Yeah, it's an evolution.

1029
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 2: But I think what I've what I found out is like,

1030
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 2: I don't think Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were like, Kanye,

1031
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 2: you pay all the bills and I just keep my

1032
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,800
Speaker 2: money for myself and the like. So I would hope

1033
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 2: if we're having these conversations surrounding building an empire in

1034
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:24,280
Speaker 2: generational wealth, yeah, I don't even think fifty to fifty

1035
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,879
Speaker 2: or it's just like, if we have money and there's

1036
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 2: something needs to be taken care of, it just gets paid.

1037
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 1: And if that's.

1038
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,959
Speaker 2: Primarily his money, then it's primarily his. But I'm also

1039
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:36,920
Speaker 2: not going to be like, oh yeah, let me hoard

1040
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 2: my money. Like it's just when you really think about it, dumb.

1041
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:44,759
Speaker 2: Because if we push the vibe of women should make

1042
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:46,359
Speaker 2: their own money so a man doesn't need to take

1043
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 2: care of them.

1044
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.

1045
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:51,920
Speaker 2: So I'm like, you get to this point where I

1046
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:54,279
Speaker 2: don't think you guys have actually thought this far. If

1047
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:56,320
Speaker 2: a man's making a lot of money and a woman's

1048
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:58,720
Speaker 2: making a lot of money, he just pays for everything

1049
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 2: and she hoards hers, I don't know.

1050
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:05,520
Speaker 4: So so we were talking about that about how like

1051
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:09,720
Speaker 4: that the conversations online when you talk to real married people.

1052
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:12,439
Speaker 4: They don't have that conversation, Like it don't make sense

1053
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 4: because it's like, could you say that, It's like saying

1054
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 4: you get a woman. They both make one hundred thousand

1055
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:21,280
Speaker 4: dollars a year, they both one hundred thousand, even nobody

1056
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 4: makes a dollar more or whatever. Then the man says,

1057
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:27,240
Speaker 4: this is what women are saying online. So he uses

1058
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 4: all his hundred thousand dollars to pay for the bills

1059
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 4: and everything else, and she just keeps her hundred thousand

1060
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 4: like it just keep She gets to do what go

1061
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 4: shopping with hers and don't buy a little stuff. And

1062
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 4: then now she got she get to save. Chase spent

1063
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 4: twenty thousand dollars a year. Now she got eighty thousand.

1064
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 4: Now she got none other one hundred and sixty. She

1065
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 4: get to save all this money. His money just going

1066
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,319
Speaker 4: out the door. So then it makes it even make

1067
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:51,920
Speaker 4: more sense. While it be so easy for that woman

1068
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:54,359
Speaker 4: to leave that man because she like, I got five

1069
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 4: hundred and sixty thousand dollars in account, you have nothing

1070
00:49:57,239 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 4: because you don't spend all your money taking care of

1071
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 4: for five to six years. So when she gets ready

1072
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 4: to leave, she leaves wise because she was taught by

1073
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 4: her mom and her grandma. Make sure you keep some

1074
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 4: money off the side that your husband don't know about.

1075
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 4: Keep your little nest egg. So when it's time to leave,

1076
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:13,360
Speaker 4: you can leave and you ain't got to worry about

1077
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:16,359
Speaker 4: being able to sustain yourself. So then she gets this

1078
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:18,319
Speaker 4: arrogance that you talk about because she said, I don't

1079
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:21,000
Speaker 4: need no man, Like, if I leave, I be okay

1080
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 4: because I got X amount of money saved up. Yeah.

1081
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:26,839
Speaker 2: And I think even on the guy's side, when they

1082
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:28,880
Speaker 2: now meet a woman, even if they're still married, if

1083
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 2: they now meet a woman who's showcasing like I will

1084
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 2: still take care in those areas where his wife is deficients,

1085
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 2: letting him pay everything, then he starts to think of

1086
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 2: a whole other world. Yeah, we're like, maybe I should

1087
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,560
Speaker 2: leave her, Yeah, because this one don't need I don't

1088
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:44,840
Speaker 2: need her.

1089
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:48,000
Speaker 1: It's likely. Yeah.

1090
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:51,120
Speaker 2: But I will tell you a lot of these women

1091
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 2: online and I love I love the girlies.

1092
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 1: I don't want them to like cancel me.

1093
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 4: They won't trust it's a healthy platform. They with you

1094
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:00,759
Speaker 4: on this boom.

1095
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:04,480
Speaker 2: But I think a lot of them that push the

1096
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:07,520
Speaker 2: making money. I'll tell you how the the journey goes,

1097
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,799
Speaker 2: they push like make a lot of money, so the

1098
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 2: girls will, they'll make a.

1099
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 1: Lot of money online.

1100
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 2: You know, they have these very dominant, vibrant personalities, so

1101
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:19,560
Speaker 2: they'll do it. And then what happens is there is

1102
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 2: this sense of because I make a lot of money,

1103
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:25,439
Speaker 2: I am better than other women that don't. So it'll

1104
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 2: be like, oh, well if he wants and I think

1105
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:30,080
Speaker 2: it's born from some form of insecurity. It usually is

1106
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:34,000
Speaker 2: for most people, include myself, And it's like when it

1107
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:36,319
Speaker 2: comes to a room of you and other woman, they

1108
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:39,879
Speaker 2: think my accomplishments, my achievements, my money make me more

1109
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:41,879
Speaker 2: appealing to men because he doesn't want a girl who's

1110
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:44,400
Speaker 2: just gonna need him. But like when we were talking,

1111
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:47,800
Speaker 2: men do need a woman to need them. They need

1112
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 2: to fill needing and financially is the way they've always

1113
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 2: been taught. So I think they then go on this

1114
00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 2: road where what happens is they realize, oh, my money

1115
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:02,799
Speaker 2: doesn't attract me to me, it actually repels them. It

1116
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 2: starts making me avoidable because they're like, oh, she's not

1117
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 2: where I'm at, and I also can't afford her, so

1118
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:12,840
Speaker 2: they go for other forms of challenges.

1119
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:16,440
Speaker 5: You feel like a liability. It's like, oh, man, I

1120
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 5: got my bills to pay. Then men start adding up. Well,

1121
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,759
Speaker 5: like if something happens to her, then she's like, can

1122
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:23,800
Speaker 5: you pay my bills? Well, your bills are one hundred

1123
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 5: thousand dollars a month.

1124
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:28,840
Speaker 2: Exactly because you're showcasing, like, oh, I'm buying all these cars.

1125
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:32,000
Speaker 2: I love this lavish lifestyle. But it's like, at the core,

1126
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 2: everyone wants companionship. I don't believe there's a world where

1127
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:39,080
Speaker 2: people genuinely don't want to whether that's through friendships or

1128
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:43,440
Speaker 2: literal romantic relationships. And I actually put a prediction online

1129
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:45,959
Speaker 2: once and it was funny, but I was like, you'll

1130
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:49,080
Speaker 2: start to see a lot of content of women who

1131
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:51,879
Speaker 2: have pushed the make your own money, and they will

1132
00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 2: start making relationship content, and it's going to sound like

1133
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 2: I don't want to need a man.

1134
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:57,439
Speaker 1: I want to build with the man.

1135
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:00,719
Speaker 4: They're gonna lip it.

1136
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 1: They're gonna because what they realize is, oh, I'm not

1137
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:09,799
Speaker 1: the most appealing thing ever because I have this money

1138
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 1: and the success, I actually still need to work on

1139
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 1: myself as a person.

1140
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 2: So they start using their platform to almost fish guys.

1141
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:20,080
Speaker 2: By the way, like I actually don't want your money, Like,

1142
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:22,520
Speaker 2: I'm gonna help you get more money. We're gonna be

1143
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 2: rich together, generational wealth. You know, he doesn't even even

1144
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 2: six figures like.

1145
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,160
Speaker 4: That. It's like what they did with the BBL. Everybody

1146
00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:33,160
Speaker 4: get bbls and then they start saying, hey, take it out,

1147
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:34,920
Speaker 4: take it out and take it out. It's like what

1148
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:38,359
Speaker 4: in the world. It's like, remove the BBL And that's

1149
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:40,560
Speaker 4: the reality. I'm glad at a young age you were

1150
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 4: able to recognize that. Did your dad have any voice

1151
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 4: in speaking that to you? Did your dad? What did

1152
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 4: your dad observe with you becoming this one? Because you

1153
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:52,399
Speaker 4: had to start transforming unless you hid that side from him.

1154
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:54,960
Speaker 4: You had to start transforming in front of his very

1155
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:56,680
Speaker 4: eyes where he's looking at you like you're not the

1156
00:53:56,719 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 4: same little girl that I raise.

1157
00:53:58,400 --> 00:53:59,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, what happened?

1158
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:01,880
Speaker 4: I see what she did.

1159
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 1: But no, my dad took me through like breakup boot camp.

1160
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 2: I think he made me realize the value of a

1161
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:15,040
Speaker 2: male figure and a woman's life, especially after the breakup.

1162
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:17,920
Speaker 2: He basically like he coddled me. I would call him

1163
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:19,879
Speaker 2: and I'd just be crying for like five hours. He's

1164
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:22,279
Speaker 2: on the phone, uplifting me It's like at a point

1165
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:24,759
Speaker 2: I was like, dang, maybe he doesn't have like work

1166
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:26,680
Speaker 2: to do, because like even if he's in a meeting, Kelly,

1167
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 2: I'm in a meeting, I'll call you right back, and

1168
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:29,480
Speaker 2: for the rest of the day, he's just on the

1169
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,760
Speaker 2: phone with me and he's telling me all these stories

1170
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 2: because he also like he had a.

1171
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:37,400
Speaker 1: Lot of girlfriends in his twenties. Him and his baby girl. No,

1172
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 1: that's actually what he calls me. He calls me his

1173
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:40,200
Speaker 1: beautiful baby girl.

1174
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:43,319
Speaker 2: I was praying with him right for the podcast, and

1175
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,640
Speaker 2: like he's like, you know, go out there and shine,

1176
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 2: and you're always going to be my beautiful baby.

1177
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:49,960
Speaker 1: Like the city always does love him.

1178
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 2: And that's why I just I really think that men

1179
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:55,799
Speaker 2: don't understand how valuable they are in the life of

1180
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:59,120
Speaker 2: other men and even in the lives of their daughters.

1181
00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:01,399
Speaker 2: And he just kind of took me through that. And

1182
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 2: he had a girlfriend he was dating before he married

1183
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,880
Speaker 2: my mom. It was super rich, had like five houses

1184
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 2: and like, which just I think her dad was like

1185
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,360
Speaker 2: rich as well, so like she had like family wealth.

1186
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:17,840
Speaker 2: And as he was dating her, he was like, you know,

1187
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:20,480
Speaker 2: she'd always put me down. She'd always bragged me about

1188
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:21,839
Speaker 2: how much money she had and I'm like, I don't

1189
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 2: care how much money you have, like congrats, and he

1190
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:28,279
Speaker 2: said like even like she thought that because she had

1191
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:29,920
Speaker 2: a bunch of money it made her more appealing, but

1192
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:32,719
Speaker 2: then she would make a big deal out of everything,

1193
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:33,919
Speaker 2: try to control him.

1194
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 1: And then he met my mom just casually.

1195
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:39,520
Speaker 2: My mom was like, hey, there's this like beach party,

1196
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:42,000
Speaker 2: Like you want to go to the beach party. And

1197
00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:43,799
Speaker 2: my dad was like okay, Like he just met her

1198
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 2: at church, like through a friend. He's like, okay, like

1199
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:48,680
Speaker 2: we can go. And so he goes there. And my

1200
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,880
Speaker 2: dad was like an actor in Nigeria when he was younger.

1201
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:54,400
Speaker 2: So he goes there and everyone knows him and they're like,

1202
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:57,720
Speaker 2: oh my gosh. So he's My mom's somewhere doing whatever.

1203
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:01,120
Speaker 2: My dad's somewhere else talking to everybody. And he gets

1204
00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:03,280
Speaker 2: back in the car and he's like holding his breath

1205
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:05,759
Speaker 2: and he's like, oh my gosh, like she's gonna come

1206
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 2: and yell at me and be like oh my gosh,

1207
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 2: like you just left me all alone and you were

1208
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 2: talking to everybody else, like where were you at? He said,

1209
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:14,279
Speaker 2: my mom just got in the car and she's like,

1210
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:17,840
Speaker 2: so where are we going? And he was like he

1211
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 2: was like it was that moment he knew, like, I'm

1212
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 2: going to marry this woman, despite he was in like

1213
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:25,920
Speaker 2: a five year relationship with this really successful, rich woman.

1214
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:29,120
Speaker 2: And so he started kind of framing it from that

1215
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 2: way to help me understand, like, Kelly, you can't be

1216
00:56:32,200 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 2: getting upset with people for the smallest infractions, or like

1217
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 2: like I had this thing where my ex would have

1218
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:42,640
Speaker 2: to ask me if he could have a water bottle,

1219
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 2: like if he was at my apartment, you're talking about

1220
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:45,880
Speaker 2: like a bottle of water.

1221
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:50,200
Speaker 1: The refrigerator I was at. Apparently are you counting the

1222
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 1: water bottles? Well, it's because I'm paying for the water bottle.

1223
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:57,879
Speaker 1: And he was. The guy was like six foot five,

1224
00:56:58,080 --> 00:57:01,920
Speaker 1: two hundred pounds, so it's like he's swallowing water.

1225
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,480
Speaker 4: What kind of water you had? What is some old

1226
00:57:03,520 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 4: boogie water?

1227
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 1: I think it's probably like Ozarka. But it was just like.

1228
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:13,480
Speaker 4: For ten dollars, he's talking about, you're gonna have to ask.

1229
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:20,720
Speaker 1: Me not to count or to you, that's the thing.

1230
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:21,120
Speaker 1: And so.

1231
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 4: Like you have about I got three today, just three today?

1232
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 4: You told me drink, but how many.

1233
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 1: Drunk.

1234
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I left the rest of this. Let me drink

1235
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:33,880
Speaker 4: this before I get nothing my bed.

1236
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, No.

1237
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:43,240
Speaker 4: You left that.

1238
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 2: No, that's what And it's like it's weird for me

1239
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:50,200
Speaker 2: now because now that I can't even find them. Yeah,

1240
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 2: far we move, But it's it's that ego you get,

1241
00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:56,600
Speaker 2: especially when like you're a woman, you're paying for everything,

1242
00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:59,000
Speaker 2: but you also are still supposed to be the woman

1243
00:57:59,000 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 2: in the relationship.

1244
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 1: Like there was a point where he would ask me, like.

1245
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 2: You know, when we get married, you want me to

1246
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 2: just kind of be like the house husband, and no,

1247
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,720
Speaker 2: there's like a housewife, like you do everything, Kelly.

1248
00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 1: And I was like, what is the worst request somebody's

1249
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 1: ever given me my life?

1250
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:19,560
Speaker 2: But yeah, I know I sound oh not at all

1251
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:22,040
Speaker 2: because I was like, oh, I'm going to have to

1252
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 2: work forever, you know, and like when you put it

1253
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:28,320
Speaker 2: that way, then it's like that's what men have.

1254
00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 1: To except for the second they come of age.

1255
00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 2: But yeah, I know my dad, he's put me through

1256
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:38,680
Speaker 2: like a lot of relationship training. My friends will call

1257
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:40,520
Speaker 2: him for relationship advice. I told him he need to

1258
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 2: start making content for.

1259
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 4: Like bring him on the podcast.

1260
00:58:44,640 --> 00:58:48,080
Speaker 5: We should to make a cameo today.

1261
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:51,560
Speaker 4: Should a part too. Don't bring your dad. I'm telling

1262
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:55,000
Speaker 4: you now, no, he's He's good because I would love

1263
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:58,040
Speaker 4: to see that father daughter's dynamic. Yeah yeah, hearing how

1264
00:58:58,080 --> 00:58:58,800
Speaker 4: he's poured into you.

1265
00:58:58,880 --> 00:59:00,680
Speaker 5: And then also I would love because you kind of

1266
00:59:00,720 --> 00:59:03,640
Speaker 5: just touched on something. I feel like there's this conversation

1267
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:07,120
Speaker 5: about what is feminine and what is masculine, and so

1268
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 5: I think that your lifestyle was probably and a lot

1269
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:14,960
Speaker 5: of women right, Like there's a lot of masculinity in

1270
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 5: you know, leading a company and you know, paying all

1271
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:23,600
Speaker 5: the bills and something like making big purchases like buying

1272
00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:28,160
Speaker 5: a home. What did, if anything, that relationship teach you

1273
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:31,800
Speaker 5: about femininity and masculinity and then how you might show

1274
00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 5: up in your next relationship.

1275
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:37,400
Speaker 2: I think it absolutely taught me that I didn't want

1276
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:38,720
Speaker 2: that dynamic to happen again.

1277
00:59:40,720 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 1: Well, a couple things.

1278
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 2: One it taught me I really want to be friends

1279
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:49,360
Speaker 2: with someone, like a genuine friend before relationship because people

1280
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 2: can change, and like there's parts of people that when

1281
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:55,480
Speaker 2: they're pursuing you, they will always like have this active

1282
00:59:55,480 --> 00:59:57,720
Speaker 2: I got to put up a front, but then when

1283
00:59:57,720 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 2: they're used to, they don't care to put it up

1284
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:05,200
Speaker 2: and then too, I think like it's like I said,

1285
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 2: I want the household to be the last place I

1286
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:08,960
Speaker 2: have to be masculine.

1287
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:10,240
Speaker 1: It's exhausting.

1288
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:13,240
Speaker 2: And so if it comes to the company and leading it,

1289
01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 2: like I can do that, but I want a man

1290
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 2: who at the end of the day still has that

1291
01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:21,960
Speaker 2: dominant like I'm the leader of this household. Obviously not

1292
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:25,600
Speaker 2: in like a control but just like no, Kelly, this

1293
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 2: is this is the way we're going to do things.

1294
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:30,840
Speaker 2: That's what makes sense, and like I can still be feminine.

1295
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:33,000
Speaker 2: I think that's what a lot of when those women

1296
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:34,320
Speaker 2: speak of like I don't want to take from me

1297
01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:36,840
Speaker 2: and I want to build, I think they're exhausted. I

1298
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 2: think every everyone that's making the content around like women

1299
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:44,680
Speaker 2: should make money for themselves, they're usually exhausted because once

1300
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:48,320
Speaker 2: those cameras turn off, they realize that like even though

1301
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:50,480
Speaker 2: that's the lifestyle they preach, it's not the lifestyle that

1302
01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:54,360
Speaker 2: they want to live full time because it's it's isolating. Yeah,

1303
01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:57,280
Speaker 2: you feel like every girl you talk to you have

1304
01:00:57,320 --> 01:00:58,960
Speaker 2: to like be a mentor to girl.

1305
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:00,200
Speaker 1: You need a lock in, you need this.

1306
01:01:00,560 --> 01:01:03,200
Speaker 2: Every guy you talk to you're now coaching him, and

1307
01:01:03,240 --> 01:01:08,760
Speaker 2: I think naturally people attract what they like, you know,

1308
01:01:08,760 --> 01:01:11,160
Speaker 2: when people keep attracting the same person over and over.

1309
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:14,240
Speaker 2: In the book The Human Magnet Syndrome, it talks about that,

1310
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:18,280
Speaker 2: like in terms of that skill, but people are often

1311
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:21,040
Speaker 2: attracting their own insecurities.

1312
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:23,680
Speaker 1: So a woman would tell you.

1313
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 2: For example, like me, I need a man who's going

1314
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:31,120
Speaker 2: to lead the household. But at the same time, when

1315
01:01:31,160 --> 01:01:33,760
Speaker 2: presented with that, it's probably going to be something that's

1316
01:01:33,880 --> 01:01:37,440
Speaker 2: very uncomfortable for me because I'm used to, Like it's

1317
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:39,520
Speaker 2: natural for me to meet a guy who's like not

1318
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:42,320
Speaker 2: as confident, and I can coach him into confidence because

1319
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:44,720
Speaker 2: I'm used to that, but he's probably not going to

1320
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 2: be that dominant confident guy.

1321
01:01:47,200 --> 01:01:49,320
Speaker 1: And I was watching have y'all watched Age of Attraction on.

1322
01:01:49,320 --> 01:01:53,320
Speaker 4: That Oh we might know the next episode is released.

1323
01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:55,880
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, we caught up all of it so

1324
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:56,560
Speaker 4: we can talk.

1325
01:01:56,600 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 1: Okay, boom.

1326
01:01:57,320 --> 01:02:00,120
Speaker 2: So I was watching the dynamic with the twenty seven

1327
01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:02,760
Speaker 2: year old in the sixty year old oh yep, and

1328
01:02:03,200 --> 01:02:09,320
Speaker 2: the conversation about celibacy, and I remember that, like, okay,

1329
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:12,480
Speaker 2: so obviously she's maybe she has her own definition. She's

1330
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 2: a bit confused, and so he calls her out on it.

1331
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 2: And as soon as he calls her out on it,

1332
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:20,480
Speaker 2: first thing she does, but we don't need to be

1333
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:23,160
Speaker 2: together anymore that part. And I noticed that, like the

1334
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:27,600
Speaker 2: first guy she met was probably who she would have controlled.

1335
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,520
Speaker 1: He was very sweet, very soft.

1336
01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:31,720
Speaker 2: He said, in the past, I had a relationship that

1337
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:33,320
Speaker 2: broke me, like twenty years ago.

1338
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:34,280
Speaker 1: He's still crying about it.

1339
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:37,760
Speaker 4: Remember they talked about it.

1340
01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:40,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, boo the white guy, Yeah, I think his name

1341
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:41,040
Speaker 3: is Justin.

1342
01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:47,600
Speaker 2: I think yeah, watching that, so yes, And then after that,

1343
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:51,400
Speaker 2: she then gets this older man who has that masculine

1344
01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:55,160
Speaker 2: vibe like she knows this is what she wants.

1345
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:56,920
Speaker 1: She doesn't realize it's also what she needs.

1346
01:02:56,960 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 2: That part, because she's and this is for most women

1347
01:03:00,320 --> 01:03:04,880
Speaker 2: who are young successful or they just young to me

1348
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:05,920
Speaker 2: is like younger.

1349
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:06,439
Speaker 1: Than sixty five.

1350
01:03:06,640 --> 01:03:10,920
Speaker 2: So like you're in a career that's like progressing really well,

1351
01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:14,560
Speaker 2: and you're used to being that dominant figure. You're used

1352
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:17,640
Speaker 2: to like men constantly like pandering to you. And so

1353
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:20,520
Speaker 2: she finally sees a guy who almost matches her and

1354
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:22,960
Speaker 2: the dominance and she's like, wow, you know, he's just

1355
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 2: like Y knows it and every single time, he respectfully,

1356
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:30,000
Speaker 2: because I think he did it very respectful, tries to

1357
01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:33,120
Speaker 2: put her in her place in terms of like, well, no,

1358
01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:35,360
Speaker 2: actually we need to discuss this, or you didn't handle

1359
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:38,280
Speaker 2: this right, or you need to trust my direction. If

1360
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:43,640
Speaker 2: I say this is how this goes, she would shut down. Yeah,

1361
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:47,280
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm done, because it's an uncomfortable feeling to

1362
01:03:47,520 --> 01:03:50,680
Speaker 2: actually meet yourself and meet what you know you need.

1363
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:51,600
Speaker 1: So that's why people.

1364
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:54,840
Speaker 2: Keep reverting to what's comfortable, but it never ends well

1365
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:58,080
Speaker 2: and you never end up satisfied. So it's like, I

1366
01:03:58,080 --> 01:04:01,960
Speaker 2: think for me going into whatever new relationship it is,

1367
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:04,920
Speaker 2: I I definitely want to build a foundation of friendship

1368
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:09,320
Speaker 2: and I also want someone who can confidently lead. And

1369
01:04:09,360 --> 01:04:11,800
Speaker 2: I also don't want to lead with my money because

1370
01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:15,480
Speaker 2: like girls would be like, oh you know these they're

1371
01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:18,680
Speaker 2: upset that guys get intimidated when they meet them. But

1372
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 2: then you're pulling up and like this crazy luxury, Like

1373
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:24,720
Speaker 2: I have a BMW I E and like when I

1374
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:27,280
Speaker 2: show up in that it changes. Like I've been out

1375
01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:29,280
Speaker 2: with NFL players and they're like they see the car

1376
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:37,040
Speaker 2: and they're like, you know, I waitated, Yes, I went

1377
01:04:37,120 --> 01:04:41,120
Speaker 2: to Nick and Sam's with two NFL players. I won't

1378
01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:43,320
Speaker 2: say their names, but like they're they're on the Cowboys

1379
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:43,840
Speaker 2: and whatnot.

1380
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:45,360
Speaker 1: And I remember, like, we have a career.

1381
01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:47,280
Speaker 4: On the Cowboys wide receiver. They do this or whatever. They

1382
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:48,760
Speaker 4: just played in the last game.

1383
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:51,000
Speaker 1: Game.

1384
01:04:51,400 --> 01:04:54,720
Speaker 3: You know, you can put two and two together.

1385
01:04:55,120 --> 01:04:57,320
Speaker 4: But you said you said they got intimidated. Why you

1386
01:04:57,360 --> 01:04:59,040
Speaker 4: pulling up in there? Why why would you say that

1387
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:00,840
Speaker 4: if they can match your energy.

1388
01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:06,800
Speaker 2: I think taking it back to like men want to yeah,

1389
01:05:06,840 --> 01:05:09,520
Speaker 2: and for a star athlete.

1390
01:05:09,720 --> 01:05:11,840
Speaker 4: He's used to feeling yeah.

1391
01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:15,760
Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, you know, I'm making millions in the NFL,

1392
01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:16,840
Speaker 2: like any girl would want me.

1393
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:17,640
Speaker 1: And then when they.

1394
01:05:17,520 --> 01:05:20,520
Speaker 5: See like because the men are visual, now I'm getting

1395
01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:22,040
Speaker 5: a visual that's where you are.

1396
01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:24,720
Speaker 1: Ye. And so when they pulled the ad up, he

1397
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:29,640
Speaker 1: was like the heck. He was like, hold on, what

1398
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:31,680
Speaker 1: do you do again? But you need to teach me.

1399
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:37,040
Speaker 5: And I was like, well, so you kind of said

1400
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:39,320
Speaker 5: you kind of felt away when he said that. But

1401
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:41,520
Speaker 5: talk about a little bit about because I think we

1402
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:45,120
Speaker 5: have so many ladies who watched the podcast what is

1403
01:05:45,160 --> 01:05:47,680
Speaker 5: femininity to you? Because you talked a little bit about

1404
01:05:47,720 --> 01:05:52,320
Speaker 5: the expectation for men, but what being this like powerful

1405
01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:54,960
Speaker 5: woman who's made a lot of money and had a

1406
01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:55,600
Speaker 5: great career.

1407
01:05:56,280 --> 01:05:57,600
Speaker 1: What does femininity look like?

1408
01:05:57,720 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 2: I think number one, you have to kill your ego.

1409
01:06:00,120 --> 01:06:02,160
Speaker 2: You have to like there's a certain level of ego

1410
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:05,720
Speaker 2: you should have. But it's being patient and being understanding

1411
01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:09,000
Speaker 2: and also understanding I can be wrong a lot of times,

1412
01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:12,560
Speaker 2: and I think society has caddled.

1413
01:06:12,160 --> 01:06:15,360
Speaker 1: Woman to appeal to us.

1414
01:06:15,640 --> 01:06:17,640
Speaker 2: So there is a lack of accountability that I think

1415
01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:20,880
Speaker 2: is naturally in us because if we fight for something,

1416
01:06:20,920 --> 01:06:21,920
Speaker 2: we get our way.

1417
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:24,640
Speaker 1: And they say, like a happy wife is a happy life.

1418
01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:29,120
Speaker 4: That nonsense. It's this toxic messaging that happens all the time,

1419
01:06:29,320 --> 01:06:31,440
Speaker 4: even with a little girl. Like when you have a

1420
01:06:31,440 --> 01:06:33,440
Speaker 4: little girl, and I was very careful about doing this

1421
01:06:33,520 --> 01:06:36,680
Speaker 4: with my daughter. Is that when they do something wrong,

1422
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:39,320
Speaker 4: you let them know it's wrong instead of talking like, oh,

1423
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:41,880
Speaker 4: it's okay, let her do that. But she took this

1424
01:06:41,920 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 4: from me is no matter. It's just where you start

1425
01:06:43,920 --> 01:06:46,640
Speaker 4: letting her wrong be right and be like no, you're wrong.

1426
01:06:46,680 --> 01:06:48,360
Speaker 4: You need to ask permission, you need to do this.

1427
01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:50,720
Speaker 4: You say, I'm sorry, you just took this toy from

1428
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:52,760
Speaker 4: him and he was playing with it, but a lot

1429
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:56,400
Speaker 4: of men coddled their daughters at a young age, and

1430
01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:58,680
Speaker 4: then they grow up and they expect their boyfriends their

1431
01:06:58,760 --> 01:07:01,240
Speaker 4: husbands to do the same thing and saying hold on,

1432
01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:03,640
Speaker 4: you ain't right about just everything, you know, but it

1433
01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:05,200
Speaker 4: starts from a very young age, you know.

1434
01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:07,960
Speaker 2: And and that I agree with. And that's what my

1435
01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:11,920
Speaker 2: dad didn't do for me, you know, shout out to him.

1436
01:07:11,960 --> 01:07:16,880
Speaker 2: He raised us so strict, like it was like no emotions.

1437
01:07:17,040 --> 01:07:19,760
Speaker 2: My mom was the super soft SEPs so I naturally

1438
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 2: like was like my mom's girl.

1439
01:07:22,600 --> 01:07:24,440
Speaker 1: Now I'm like a daddy's girl. Like both, I love

1440
01:07:24,480 --> 01:07:26,360
Speaker 1: you both, but yeah, I know.

1441
01:07:26,600 --> 01:07:29,600
Speaker 2: I think it's it's being able to take accountability and

1442
01:07:29,640 --> 01:07:33,520
Speaker 2: be held accountable. It's being patient. It's also wanting to

1443
01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:35,320
Speaker 2: be pretty. I think a lot of women, when they're

1444
01:07:35,440 --> 01:07:38,400
Speaker 2: used to just like working all the time, get used

1445
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:41,280
Speaker 2: to not wanting to be pretty, you know, or they

1446
01:07:41,320 --> 01:07:42,840
Speaker 2: forget what that looks like. I didn't learn how to

1447
01:07:42,880 --> 01:07:45,160
Speaker 2: do makeup for mad to like two years. It was

1448
01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:47,760
Speaker 2: after the breakup that I was like, you know what, Like,

1449
01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:50,560
Speaker 2: I remember my aunt who is she is probably the

1450
01:07:50,600 --> 01:07:54,960
Speaker 2: best definition of She runs her own company, very successful internationally,

1451
01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:58,600
Speaker 2: but like she will always be my uncle's arms. And

1452
01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:00,920
Speaker 2: the first thing she told me for the breakup was

1453
01:08:01,320 --> 01:08:04,480
Speaker 2: do not let this ruin you. You need to go outside,

1454
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:07,800
Speaker 2: get pretty, meet people, and just be you.

1455
01:08:07,920 --> 01:08:09,120
Speaker 1: Continue to be you.

1456
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:12,560
Speaker 2: And I think I also think like people need to

1457
01:08:12,600 --> 01:08:15,240
Speaker 2: let go of expectations. Yes, Like I think that's a

1458
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:18,360
Speaker 2: huge thing when it comes to femininity is people feel

1459
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:20,799
Speaker 2: like they have to be something or perform as something,

1460
01:08:20,880 --> 01:08:25,519
Speaker 2: and the right person will be extremely accepting of who

1461
01:08:25,560 --> 01:08:29,840
Speaker 2: you are in all your forms and facets. So yeah,

1462
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:32,840
Speaker 2: I think for me that's like that's a huge thing. Now,

1463
01:08:32,880 --> 01:08:35,679
Speaker 2: Like I'm more like the way I dress is important,

1464
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:37,840
Speaker 2: the way you speak, and like it's how you.

1465
01:08:37,760 --> 01:08:39,000
Speaker 1: Carry yourself is a huge thing.

1466
01:08:39,360 --> 01:08:41,960
Speaker 2: But a lot of women will like be very aggressive

1467
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:44,120
Speaker 2: and the way they communicate or their form of flirting

1468
01:08:44,200 --> 01:08:44,800
Speaker 2: is aggression.

1469
01:08:44,880 --> 01:08:47,360
Speaker 3: It's like, oh my gosh, give us an example.

1470
01:08:48,760 --> 01:08:52,080
Speaker 1: It'll be okay, this is something they do in African culture.

1471
01:08:52,960 --> 01:08:55,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm gonna call your hair for a second here,

1472
01:08:55,360 --> 01:08:58,760
Speaker 2: Well you're here, yeah, So they'll be like they'd be like,

1473
01:08:59,520 --> 01:09:02,400
Speaker 2: you know, you're bald head, Like why are you looking

1474
01:09:02,400 --> 01:09:05,880
Speaker 2: at me with that bald head? It's like, oh my gosh,

1475
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:11,520
Speaker 2: that's flirting in like every culture or even like in

1476
01:09:11,520 --> 01:09:13,880
Speaker 2: American culture, it'll be like, man, you.

1477
01:09:13,800 --> 01:09:15,040
Speaker 1: Always look at me. Why are you looking at me

1478
01:09:15,080 --> 01:09:18,920
Speaker 1: like that? Like you want me? Huh? It's like pang.

1479
01:09:19,680 --> 01:09:22,040
Speaker 1: Like then all of a sudden, the guy is like, oh, like.

1480
01:09:25,240 --> 01:09:25,479
Speaker 4: Before.

1481
01:09:26,560 --> 01:09:29,479
Speaker 2: So it's like the tone, like your tonality and the

1482
01:09:29,479 --> 01:09:33,559
Speaker 2: way you speak really matters, but like the aggression has to.

1483
01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:36,439
Speaker 2: And I think it's because women are so used to

1484
01:09:36,920 --> 01:09:40,599
Speaker 2: being dominant that they don't know how to pull it back.

1485
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:43,400
Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean that that for me is it's

1486
01:09:43,439 --> 01:09:46,679
Speaker 2: actively what I'm practicing is like the way I carry myself,

1487
01:09:46,760 --> 01:09:49,160
Speaker 2: the way that I communicate, the way that I sound,

1488
01:09:49,760 --> 01:09:51,639
Speaker 2: and like knowing when to turn it on and when

1489
01:09:51,720 --> 01:09:54,519
Speaker 2: to also turn it off. Like usually for me, if

1490
01:09:54,520 --> 01:09:56,519
Speaker 2: I really like somebody, I crack a lot of jokes

1491
01:09:57,520 --> 01:09:59,360
Speaker 2: are like I don't even want to talk about what

1492
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:01,720
Speaker 2: I do. It's just like I just want to be

1493
01:10:01,760 --> 01:10:04,320
Speaker 2: present in this moment and be the side of me

1494
01:10:04,439 --> 01:10:06,200
Speaker 2: that maybe the world doesn't get to see as often.

1495
01:10:06,280 --> 01:10:08,120
Speaker 4: What have you found with guys with your cracking jokes?

1496
01:10:09,160 --> 01:10:10,000
Speaker 1: Oh? They love it.

1497
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:13,120
Speaker 2: It's like and I think I forget that I'm this

1498
01:10:13,240 --> 01:10:17,640
Speaker 2: dominant person, like I just like be super like I

1499
01:10:17,640 --> 01:10:20,080
Speaker 2: don't know, I just it'll just be fun times. I

1500
01:10:20,120 --> 01:10:21,639
Speaker 2: feel like that thing where they're like, oh, you can

1501
01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:23,360
Speaker 2: turn your brain off around your man.

1502
01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:25,599
Speaker 1: But I have noticed.

1503
01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:28,040
Speaker 2: I had a friend tell me this that really hurt

1504
01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:31,360
Speaker 2: my feelings one day because he was like I remember

1505
01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:32,680
Speaker 2: it was he wanted to hang out two of my

1506
01:10:32,720 --> 01:10:34,560
Speaker 2: guy friends, and I was like, you know, I'm a

1507
01:10:34,560 --> 01:10:36,640
Speaker 2: little uncomfortable with the fact it's like three guys want

1508
01:10:36,680 --> 01:10:36,960
Speaker 2: a girl.

1509
01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:37,679
Speaker 1: That's a little weird.

1510
01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:42,280
Speaker 2: I also think girls should hang out more girls. But

1511
01:10:43,160 --> 01:10:45,360
Speaker 2: he was like why, I mean, you're a tomboy. And

1512
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:52,000
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I'm not as don't you ever

1513
01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:56,160
Speaker 2: say that, like I worked too hard And he was

1514
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:59,160
Speaker 2: just like no, I mean like Kelly, like you like

1515
01:10:59,400 --> 01:11:01,920
Speaker 2: you'll like and like you like basketball and you like

1516
01:11:02,040 --> 01:11:04,720
Speaker 2: video games. And I was like, oh my gosh, and

1517
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:07,080
Speaker 2: like because I grew up with my brother a lot,

1518
01:11:07,080 --> 01:11:11,479
Speaker 2: because we're the closest, closer in age than all my

1519
01:11:11,520 --> 01:11:14,600
Speaker 2: other sisters are close, but like than we are to them,

1520
01:11:14,840 --> 01:11:16,680
Speaker 2: Like we play a lot of video games, and like

1521
01:11:16,760 --> 01:11:19,360
Speaker 2: I grew up playing basketball, and like basketball turned somebody

1522
01:11:19,479 --> 01:11:20,720
Speaker 2: very masculine.

1523
01:11:20,320 --> 01:11:23,240
Speaker 1: So like I just I left that.

1524
01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:26,040
Speaker 4: I left it boom.

1525
01:11:26,200 --> 01:11:30,559
Speaker 1: I love the sport still, but also like I'll like

1526
01:11:30,640 --> 01:11:31,120
Speaker 1: do this thing.

1527
01:11:31,160 --> 01:11:32,960
Speaker 2: I noticed like when I like a guy, but I'm nervous,

1528
01:11:33,120 --> 01:11:34,519
Speaker 2: I just start like shadow boxing.

1529
01:11:35,439 --> 01:11:37,880
Speaker 1: I'll be like, man, I just leaked my sauce there.

1530
01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:42,400
Speaker 1: But I just if you see me in public, like, oh, so.

1531
01:11:42,280 --> 01:11:46,760
Speaker 4: It's this video, this video is going viral. Ye this girl?

1532
01:11:46,800 --> 01:11:51,040
Speaker 4: Oh what's the girl with the tattoo on the face,

1533
01:11:52,000 --> 01:11:56,760
Speaker 4: the girl of what is it? Kashan so kan X

1534
01:11:56,840 --> 01:11:59,320
Speaker 4: came back and offered her bout her like a brand

1535
01:11:59,360 --> 01:12:01,519
Speaker 4: new Rose Roy or whatever. And the first thing she's

1536
01:12:01,520 --> 01:12:04,320
Speaker 4: doing she started boxing them, and everybody said, what kind

1537
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:08,800
Speaker 4: of in the last week? And I said, why is

1538
01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:11,200
Speaker 4: she boxing him? I have to get in a gift

1539
01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:12,880
Speaker 4: like that. But that's that.

1540
01:12:12,560 --> 01:12:15,200
Speaker 1: That thing, the masculine that is.

1541
01:12:15,160 --> 01:12:18,519
Speaker 4: The most strange response with a man, get you a

1542
01:12:18,640 --> 01:12:21,439
Speaker 4: Rose Roy. I mean she's squared up with I mean

1543
01:12:21,479 --> 01:12:24,479
Speaker 4: she was. I was like, it was just so strange.

1544
01:12:24,479 --> 01:12:26,000
Speaker 4: So when you said that made me think.

1545
01:12:26,600 --> 01:12:29,240
Speaker 2: And I think that's it's one of those masculine things

1546
01:12:29,240 --> 01:12:32,960
Speaker 2: that I'm still like trying to pull back on when

1547
01:12:32,960 --> 01:12:34,880
Speaker 2: it comes to relationships because it's like it's like my

1548
01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:35,720
Speaker 2: awkward tick.

1549
01:12:36,640 --> 01:12:44,560
Speaker 1: Okay, this is awkward, but.

1550
01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:48,439
Speaker 4: It's like, oh, whoa wait. Okay.

1551
01:12:48,680 --> 01:12:50,880
Speaker 2: But when my guy friend said that, he was just like,

1552
01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:52,880
Speaker 2: I mean, Kelly, it's like it's like you're one.

1553
01:12:52,720 --> 01:12:53,240
Speaker 1: Of the boys.

1554
01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:58,759
Speaker 3: Oh wow, don't you ever say that one of the boys.

1555
01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:02,200
Speaker 1: I'm not one of them. No, I was like, please

1556
01:13:02,200 --> 01:13:02,479
Speaker 1: don't ever.

1557
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:03,320
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1558
01:13:04,040 --> 01:13:08,679
Speaker 2: Growing up though, yeah, I think like growing up because

1559
01:13:08,760 --> 01:13:12,120
Speaker 2: like a lot of the basketball things and like you know,

1560
01:13:12,400 --> 01:13:15,240
Speaker 2: most girls growing up thinking like their dream wedding, and

1561
01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,280
Speaker 2: I was thinking of like how am I going to

1562
01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:19,000
Speaker 2: make as much money as possible.

1563
01:13:18,640 --> 01:13:19,400
Speaker 1: To take care of?

1564
01:13:19,600 --> 01:13:22,679
Speaker 2: Like I was always being analytical and like just cared

1565
01:13:22,680 --> 01:13:26,040
Speaker 2: about numbers and stuff like that, and so I think

1566
01:13:26,280 --> 01:13:28,759
Speaker 2: I never I don't care to go out and party

1567
01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:30,760
Speaker 2: and like do all that stuff that probably is the

1568
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:34,040
Speaker 2: most fun. I would rather just build something like I'm

1569
01:13:34,320 --> 01:13:36,680
Speaker 2: I'm really big on this life as once, and so

1570
01:13:36,760 --> 01:13:38,559
Speaker 2: like why not take it to its fullest potential?

1571
01:13:39,160 --> 01:13:40,519
Speaker 1: And I think because of that.

1572
01:13:41,160 --> 01:13:45,280
Speaker 2: A lot of those girly things I didn't get, So

1573
01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:48,600
Speaker 2: I'm like now having to make a conscious effort to

1574
01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:50,120
Speaker 2: learn and adapt to.

1575
01:13:50,160 --> 01:13:52,240
Speaker 1: But I think it's cool because I do.

1576
01:13:52,200 --> 01:13:54,760
Speaker 2: Have this very intelligent, analytical side of me, but now

1577
01:13:54,760 --> 01:13:59,120
Speaker 2: I also have this feminine So I feel like, so

1578
01:13:59,200 --> 01:13:59,559
Speaker 2: once the.

1579
01:13:59,479 --> 01:14:01,559
Speaker 5: Way you thought about the ways that you need a man,

1580
01:14:02,120 --> 01:14:04,479
Speaker 5: you don't have to share them.

1581
01:14:05,280 --> 01:14:08,480
Speaker 2: I have, And I know the big part is the leadership.

1582
01:14:09,120 --> 01:14:12,599
Speaker 2: I know I need that because I also know it's

1583
01:14:12,680 --> 01:14:17,360
Speaker 2: dangerous being the sole decision maker because it's like there's

1584
01:14:17,400 --> 01:14:19,800
Speaker 2: a lot of things that probably do wrong. There's a

1585
01:14:19,800 --> 01:14:22,559
Speaker 2: lot of flaws that I probably have that I'm not

1586
01:14:22,640 --> 01:14:25,320
Speaker 2: made aware of, because when you are in control of

1587
01:14:25,360 --> 01:14:28,719
Speaker 2: everyone else, everyone wants to make you happy, so people

1588
01:14:28,720 --> 01:14:30,559
Speaker 2: don't want to fight back on you, and you get

1589
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:33,160
Speaker 2: too used to being right, which is where people they

1590
01:14:33,160 --> 01:14:35,760
Speaker 2: don't know how to take accountability. Because like the girl

1591
01:14:35,760 --> 01:14:38,920
Speaker 2: in Age of Attraction, instead of her having that honest

1592
01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:42,000
Speaker 2: conversation that maybe I'm not doing the celibacy thing the

1593
01:14:42,080 --> 01:14:42,719
Speaker 2: right way.

1594
01:14:43,280 --> 01:14:45,280
Speaker 1: She's like, well, I don't want to talk about it,

1595
01:14:45,400 --> 01:14:49,320
Speaker 1: and since you're holding me, count boom, she was kissing him.

1596
01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:52,640
Speaker 4: She was like you time every time he's trying to

1597
01:14:52,680 --> 01:14:55,120
Speaker 4: have a conversation where she starts straddling all he's like,

1598
01:14:55,200 --> 01:14:55,920
Speaker 4: what are you doing?

1599
01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:59,599
Speaker 2: And he's like, I think she was trying to shut

1600
01:14:59,640 --> 01:15:00,519
Speaker 2: him up for can't.

1601
01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:03,120
Speaker 4: Shut them up. He was like, what it's like? And

1602
01:15:03,160 --> 01:15:05,000
Speaker 4: then he wants and that's the thing about it, want

1603
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:08,320
Speaker 4: to have a real conversation, and she he could have

1604
01:15:08,360 --> 01:15:11,960
Speaker 4: helped her grow and mature in that area because he said, listen,

1605
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:15,200
Speaker 4: I'm cool. I've never practiced actions before, he said, but

1606
01:15:15,240 --> 01:15:18,360
Speaker 4: I'm cool with this, but you can't. You can't tempt

1607
01:15:18,360 --> 01:15:20,040
Speaker 4: me this way and think I'm gonna stop, like you're

1608
01:15:20,080 --> 01:15:22,200
Speaker 4: doing all this oral stuff. But then you want to stop,

1609
01:15:22,320 --> 01:15:25,160
Speaker 4: like he's like, this ain't what I know absence to be.

1610
01:15:25,479 --> 01:15:28,080
Speaker 4: So that was a real conversation to actually have. My

1611
01:15:28,200 --> 01:15:31,240
Speaker 4: question you when you start thinking about femininity, is motherhood

1612
01:15:31,240 --> 01:15:32,080
Speaker 4: attached to it as well?

1613
01:15:33,400 --> 01:15:33,840
Speaker 1: For sure?

1614
01:15:34,160 --> 01:15:38,280
Speaker 2: I think that's like that's my thing is. I feel

1615
01:15:38,320 --> 01:15:41,479
Speaker 2: like everything I do now is in regards to how

1616
01:15:41,479 --> 01:15:43,960
Speaker 2: do I want my future children to be raised? And

1617
01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:46,840
Speaker 2: I think that definitely starts with the type of partnership

1618
01:15:46,840 --> 01:15:47,160
Speaker 2: that i'm.

1619
01:15:47,040 --> 01:15:50,599
Speaker 1: Because I think some people, ooh, this might ruffle some feathers.

1620
01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:53,639
Speaker 4: What I'm about to say, we don't say. Some people

1621
01:15:53,640 --> 01:15:54,840
Speaker 4: just say you just be me.

1622
01:15:55,200 --> 01:16:00,240
Speaker 1: Well, I owe you the old individuals that may not exist.

1623
01:16:00,120 --> 01:16:02,000
Speaker 4: On this planet ye yeah, make them feel bad.

1624
01:16:02,360 --> 01:16:05,679
Speaker 1: I think that they they rush marriage.

1625
01:16:06,560 --> 01:16:08,519
Speaker 2: Well, I think a lot of times in the Christian

1626
01:16:08,520 --> 01:16:10,639
Speaker 2: community it's rushed because you know, it's better to get

1627
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:13,800
Speaker 2: married than burneth luss. But I don't think people actually

1628
01:16:14,479 --> 01:16:18,720
Speaker 2: understand the weight and the depth of marriage. And so

1629
01:16:19,479 --> 01:16:22,840
Speaker 2: for me, I'm like, listen, my dad has constantly told

1630
01:16:22,880 --> 01:16:25,040
Speaker 2: me this a lot. He's like, Kelly, even if you're

1631
01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:27,639
Speaker 2: single for the next four or five years, okay, you'll

1632
01:16:27,680 --> 01:16:30,160
Speaker 2: be Let's say, if it's now, I'll be twenty nine

1633
01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:31,320
Speaker 2: in five years.

1634
01:16:31,760 --> 01:16:34,000
Speaker 1: He's like, And if you get married at.

1635
01:16:33,960 --> 01:16:35,840
Speaker 2: Thirty, because my parents actually got married at thirty. If

1636
01:16:35,840 --> 01:16:39,800
Speaker 2: you get married at thirty, then let's say I live

1637
01:16:39,880 --> 01:16:42,920
Speaker 2: till eighty. It's fifty years with one person. And people

1638
01:16:42,960 --> 01:16:45,040
Speaker 2: are trying to rush, like they'll meet somebody in like

1639
01:16:45,080 --> 01:16:46,160
Speaker 2: two months, three months.

1640
01:16:46,360 --> 01:16:47,320
Speaker 1: They want to like get married.

1641
01:16:47,360 --> 01:16:50,719
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I guess, like, if that's from God, amen,

1642
01:16:51,120 --> 01:16:52,800
Speaker 2: you know that has nothing to do with me. But

1643
01:16:53,280 --> 01:16:56,320
Speaker 2: at the same time, you're going to have that connection

1644
01:16:56,400 --> 01:17:00,240
Speaker 2: with them for decades, so why rush it? And so

1645
01:17:00,280 --> 01:17:02,800
Speaker 2: I think for me that's where I like, I don't

1646
01:17:02,800 --> 01:17:04,679
Speaker 2: want to make the wrong mistake with a partner, because

1647
01:17:04,680 --> 01:17:07,599
Speaker 2: I don't want to start exploring like what divorce looks

1648
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:10,240
Speaker 2: like and how heartbreaking that is, because that's I'm sure

1649
01:17:10,240 --> 01:17:14,639
Speaker 2: that's worse than regular heartbreak. And then also the type

1650
01:17:14,680 --> 01:17:17,320
Speaker 2: of home that my children grow up in, because I

1651
01:17:17,360 --> 01:17:20,479
Speaker 2: would like to start the foundation of what America has

1652
01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:23,639
Speaker 2: kind of been built on. But also when it comes

1653
01:17:23,680 --> 01:17:26,160
Speaker 2: to the wealthy families in America and what they're so

1654
01:17:26,439 --> 01:17:29,320
Speaker 2: used to, that's kind of what I want to start establishing.

1655
01:17:29,439 --> 01:17:32,400
Speaker 2: Is we always have this conversation about like generational wealth,

1656
01:17:32,479 --> 01:17:35,240
Speaker 2: but in practice, I think we like to speak about

1657
01:17:35,240 --> 01:17:37,080
Speaker 2: it more than practice it. And I'm like, oh, like,

1658
01:17:37,520 --> 01:17:40,040
Speaker 2: I want my kids to be trust fund babies. I

1659
01:17:40,080 --> 01:17:42,679
Speaker 2: want them to value their lineage and their last name

1660
01:17:42,800 --> 01:17:46,479
Speaker 2: and how powerful it is, and I also want them

1661
01:17:46,520 --> 01:17:49,479
Speaker 2: to transfer that to their kids and everything. So I

1662
01:17:49,520 --> 01:17:53,040
Speaker 2: take that stuff very seriously. And I also want to

1663
01:17:53,200 --> 01:17:56,599
Speaker 2: fully commit when I'm a mother, Like I don't want

1664
01:17:56,640 --> 01:17:58,600
Speaker 2: to be like working all the time and have no

1665
01:17:58,680 --> 01:18:00,439
Speaker 2: time for them. I want to beat every every single

1666
01:18:00,439 --> 01:18:03,720
Speaker 2: game and like really be there for them. And that's

1667
01:18:03,720 --> 01:18:06,880
Speaker 2: why I think I'm so intentional on working now because

1668
01:18:06,920 --> 01:18:10,360
Speaker 2: I don't care about like what I guess society cares about,

1669
01:18:10,360 --> 01:18:13,160
Speaker 2: which is like living life in your twenties. My guys,

1670
01:18:13,280 --> 01:18:16,240
Speaker 2: we have we have decades. Yeah, if this thing goes

1671
01:18:16,320 --> 01:18:18,160
Speaker 2: right and all of a sudden done, we have decades.

1672
01:18:18,160 --> 01:18:18,280
Speaker 1: Now.

1673
01:18:18,600 --> 01:18:21,120
Speaker 5: I want to say something because I literally was just

1674
01:18:21,160 --> 01:18:22,280
Speaker 5: telling my husband this.

1675
01:18:22,360 --> 01:18:24,840
Speaker 4: That you like saying that too.

1676
01:18:25,720 --> 01:18:26,639
Speaker 1: I do say that.

1677
01:18:27,840 --> 01:18:33,559
Speaker 5: But we, as women who are very independent and you know,

1678
01:18:33,760 --> 01:18:38,000
Speaker 5: business owners like to go getters, have to be careful

1679
01:18:38,160 --> 01:18:41,679
Speaker 5: because the one thing that we don't have control over

1680
01:18:41,880 --> 01:18:44,639
Speaker 5: in our lives is when we get married.

1681
01:18:45,200 --> 01:18:45,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1682
01:18:45,920 --> 01:18:50,640
Speaker 5: And so when I was your age, I was ecstatic

1683
01:18:50,760 --> 01:18:54,280
Speaker 5: about the possibility of being a wife and I thought

1684
01:18:54,360 --> 01:18:57,439
Speaker 5: for sure God had me because my mom got married

1685
01:18:57,479 --> 01:19:00,479
Speaker 5: at twenty three and I was born and she was

1686
01:19:00,520 --> 01:19:01,080
Speaker 5: twenty eight.

1687
01:19:01,760 --> 01:19:02,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1688
01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:08,759
Speaker 5: So on my twenty eighth birthday, it was terrible. I

1689
01:19:08,800 --> 01:19:11,479
Speaker 5: told everyone. I was like, They were like, what do

1690
01:19:11,520 --> 01:19:12,840
Speaker 5: you want to be? What do you want to do?

1691
01:19:12,880 --> 01:19:14,680
Speaker 5: You seem like you're all over the place. I was like,

1692
01:19:14,840 --> 01:19:18,280
Speaker 5: I want to be a wife and a mother. That

1693
01:19:18,479 --> 01:19:21,280
Speaker 5: was what I wanted. And I remember just sitting there

1694
01:19:21,320 --> 01:19:23,120
Speaker 5: on the couch and my mom was like, happy birthday,

1695
01:19:23,439 --> 01:19:26,240
Speaker 5: and she would walk away. I would start crying because

1696
01:19:26,280 --> 01:19:29,920
Speaker 5: I felt like right, I was able to accomplish all

1697
01:19:29,960 --> 01:19:32,760
Speaker 5: of these other things that I set out to do

1698
01:19:32,880 --> 01:19:36,519
Speaker 5: as a woman. And true femininity is not getting on

1699
01:19:36,520 --> 01:19:39,840
Speaker 5: one knee asking a man to marry you. So you

1700
01:19:40,040 --> 01:19:43,080
Speaker 5: have to have so much faith in what God is

1701
01:19:43,120 --> 01:19:48,040
Speaker 5: going to do, and his timing sometimes isn't our timing.

1702
01:19:48,600 --> 01:19:51,920
Speaker 5: Like I just married this man at thirty seven, and

1703
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:55,800
Speaker 5: he's part he's my purpose partner, he's God ordained. God

1704
01:19:55,880 --> 01:19:58,559
Speaker 5: literally gave us the same birthmark, told me, showed me

1705
01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:00,559
Speaker 5: on the sand, right.

1706
01:20:00,479 --> 01:20:04,240
Speaker 3: Rib that's real crazy, but that's right.

1707
01:20:04,680 --> 01:20:09,120
Speaker 5: My plans for my life around marriage we're a little

1708
01:20:09,120 --> 01:20:11,400
Speaker 5: bit different than God's. And so I say that because

1709
01:20:11,479 --> 01:20:14,720
Speaker 5: I get so many messages from women who are like

1710
01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:18,680
Speaker 5: things haven't worked out the way that they wanted on

1711
01:20:18,760 --> 01:20:21,080
Speaker 5: their own time, and they're like, I don't get it.

1712
01:20:21,120 --> 01:20:24,799
Speaker 5: I'm controlling everything else, everything I'm checking boxes and everything

1713
01:20:24,840 --> 01:20:28,200
Speaker 5: else is happening. So I just want to encourage you that, like,

1714
01:20:28,800 --> 01:20:30,680
Speaker 5: this is an area where God.

1715
01:20:30,479 --> 01:20:32,480
Speaker 3: Will do his big one in your life.

1716
01:20:32,520 --> 01:20:34,920
Speaker 5: But the timing of that is just for you to

1717
01:20:35,080 --> 01:20:37,320
Speaker 5: just be completely submitted to him.

1718
01:20:37,439 --> 01:20:40,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, surrendered and surrendered.

1719
01:20:41,240 --> 01:20:44,080
Speaker 4: As we get ready to wrap up what is your

1720
01:20:44,160 --> 01:20:48,479
Speaker 4: age dating preference, your dating age preference. Since we talked

1721
01:20:48,520 --> 01:20:50,479
Speaker 4: about age of attraction, what is your attraction?

1722
01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:54,160
Speaker 1: I think what is your age of attraction?

1723
01:20:54,360 --> 01:20:54,879
Speaker 4: Of attraction?

1724
01:20:55,080 --> 01:20:57,800
Speaker 1: And some people might fight me on this one.

1725
01:20:57,280 --> 01:20:59,960
Speaker 4: Okay, you're twenty four right now, so here we go.

1726
01:21:00,920 --> 01:21:03,920
Speaker 1: It's going to be I would say like early to

1727
01:21:04,040 --> 01:21:04,759
Speaker 1: mid thirties.

1728
01:21:05,720 --> 01:21:06,080
Speaker 4: You for that.

1729
01:21:07,920 --> 01:21:11,040
Speaker 2: Some people are like, that's way too old, but I think,

1730
01:21:11,080 --> 01:21:14,200
Speaker 2: like for me, I obviously understand the level at which

1731
01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:18,200
Speaker 2: I operate. The twenty four to twenty five, twenty six

1732
01:21:18,280 --> 01:21:21,559
Speaker 2: year olds my age usually aren't there. But like I said,

1733
01:21:21,600 --> 01:21:24,200
Speaker 2: I'm not I don't see age right, so like I

1734
01:21:24,520 --> 01:21:27,840
Speaker 2: had to take myself out of like what age looks like.

1735
01:21:28,640 --> 01:21:30,280
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think those.

1736
01:21:30,120 --> 01:21:33,559
Speaker 2: Are just the ones that say early thirties, early thirties

1737
01:21:33,600 --> 01:21:34,519
Speaker 2: primarily did you.

1738
01:21:34,439 --> 01:21:37,760
Speaker 4: Find yourself like a girl on the on the age

1739
01:21:37,800 --> 01:21:41,559
Speaker 4: of Yeah, but now yeah, since you don't see since

1740
01:21:41,560 --> 01:21:45,599
Speaker 4: you don't see age, see now.

1741
01:21:45,800 --> 01:21:48,480
Speaker 2: No, like you don't want him older than your dad.

1742
01:21:48,800 --> 01:21:51,679
Speaker 2: I don't know how old is your dad. I think

1743
01:21:51,720 --> 01:21:55,719
Speaker 2: he's going to be sixty next year. Okay, yeah, so yeah,

1744
01:21:56,360 --> 01:21:59,439
Speaker 2: so or next next.

1745
01:22:01,240 --> 01:22:01,960
Speaker 1: We're getting there.

1746
01:22:02,760 --> 01:22:05,000
Speaker 4: So good? Because would you be with somebody in their fifties.

1747
01:22:06,120 --> 01:22:06,439
Speaker 1: I think.

1748
01:22:06,520 --> 01:22:09,679
Speaker 2: I think the only reason why I start to question

1749
01:22:09,800 --> 01:22:13,000
Speaker 2: fifties is only because I think about the kids, and

1750
01:22:13,040 --> 01:22:15,519
Speaker 2: I think about like my twenty year old having a

1751
01:22:15,560 --> 01:22:19,680
Speaker 2: seventy year old dad, and then at thirties, it's not impossible,

1752
01:22:19,720 --> 01:22:20,400
Speaker 2: but it's just like.

1753
01:22:20,600 --> 01:22:22,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I I.

1754
01:22:22,640 --> 01:22:24,639
Speaker 2: Don't know, like God may shock me. I might come

1755
01:22:24,680 --> 01:22:28,040
Speaker 2: to y'all Bill Belichick and I'm twenty.

1756
01:22:27,880 --> 01:22:32,559
Speaker 3: Years Leave Bill out of this, Leave Bill out of this.

1757
01:22:33,479 --> 01:22:35,759
Speaker 1: No, I'm playing. I'm playing.

1758
01:22:35,960 --> 01:22:39,599
Speaker 2: I still want them like young enough but also matured

1759
01:22:39,720 --> 01:22:43,400
Speaker 2: enough that like they've hopefully gotten a lot of their

1760
01:22:43,920 --> 01:22:50,720
Speaker 2: their guy things things. I think like, sorry, remember, I'll

1761
01:22:50,720 --> 01:22:52,240
Speaker 2: take it back to my ex. I remember one time

1762
01:22:52,280 --> 01:22:55,320
Speaker 2: my ex were in the middle of dating and he

1763
01:22:55,320 --> 01:22:58,880
Speaker 2: told me he was like, you know, like sometimes I

1764
01:22:58,920 --> 01:23:01,320
Speaker 2: wonder if we, like if we're taking this thing too

1765
01:23:01,320 --> 01:23:03,559
Speaker 2: seriously too soon. I was like, what do you mean

1766
01:23:03,600 --> 01:23:05,439
Speaker 2: by that, Like you're the one that brought me into this,

1767
01:23:06,200 --> 01:23:08,840
Speaker 2: and he's like, well, you know, like I see all

1768
01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:11,040
Speaker 2: my friends and they're like they're going to the strip

1769
01:23:11,040 --> 01:23:11,840
Speaker 2: club every weekend.

1770
01:23:11,960 --> 01:23:13,759
Speaker 1: Like sometimes I'm like, Dan, like I'll.

1771
01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:15,120
Speaker 2: Never be able to go to the strip club or

1772
01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:17,600
Speaker 2: like live out these fantasies, and I was like, you know,

1773
01:23:17,680 --> 01:23:21,599
Speaker 2: you need to have Bible studies, your friend group got

1774
01:23:22,320 --> 01:23:24,439
Speaker 2: if you had a men's group, these wouldn't be things.

1775
01:23:24,479 --> 01:23:28,560
Speaker 2: But I say that I think there's there's some fantasies

1776
01:23:28,640 --> 01:23:31,720
Speaker 2: that guys have, and like I would just like them

1777
01:23:31,760 --> 01:23:34,920
Speaker 2: to mature, whether that's by experience or just by time

1778
01:23:35,400 --> 01:23:39,840
Speaker 2: out of those because that also, like even that conversation

1779
01:23:40,080 --> 01:23:42,000
Speaker 2: did something to me in that time where I was like,

1780
01:23:42,320 --> 01:23:46,320
Speaker 2: I started second guessing even myself. Yeah, and yeah, I

1781
01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:48,800
Speaker 2: just think guys in their twenties there's a lot that

1782
01:23:48,840 --> 01:23:52,559
Speaker 2: they are still working through, as is everyone in every Yeah,

1783
01:23:52,640 --> 01:23:54,120
Speaker 2: developmentally they're frontal lobe.

1784
01:23:54,200 --> 01:23:56,720
Speaker 4: And so I want to say this the men out there,

1785
01:23:56,800 --> 01:23:59,840
Speaker 4: because a lot of men have been taught toxic mask

1786
01:24:00,479 --> 01:24:03,800
Speaker 4: by saying And I was having a conversation with my

1787
01:24:04,040 --> 01:24:06,960
Speaker 4: nephew who adopted Ladarien, and he was saying that he

1788
01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:12,400
Speaker 4: had just watched this recent Tyler Perry movie where Uncle

1789
01:24:12,439 --> 01:24:15,120
Speaker 4: whatever that man name is, what's a man name? Uncle,

1790
01:24:15,160 --> 01:24:18,720
Speaker 4: whatever the man is, He went and took his grandson,

1791
01:24:18,840 --> 01:24:21,240
Speaker 4: a nephew whoever the little boy was, took him to

1792
01:24:21,479 --> 01:24:24,960
Speaker 4: have his first sexual experience with somebody at a quote

1793
01:24:25,040 --> 01:24:29,559
Speaker 4: unquote whorehouse as they called in the movie, and that

1794
01:24:29,600 --> 01:24:35,640
Speaker 4: has become so normalized by our culture that is so predatory.

1795
01:24:35,840 --> 01:24:39,280
Speaker 4: What I'm saying right now, as young men, this is

1796
01:24:39,320 --> 01:24:43,320
Speaker 4: your uncle Lata's talking to you. Don't normalize going to

1797
01:24:43,320 --> 01:24:47,519
Speaker 4: strip clubs, don't normalize being in threeesomes. Don't normalize the

1798
01:24:47,560 --> 01:24:50,679
Speaker 4: things that we have been taught that this is what

1799
01:24:50,760 --> 01:24:55,519
Speaker 4: masculinity looks like. That's toxic masculinity. That's unbiblical, that's against God.

1800
01:24:55,880 --> 01:24:59,920
Speaker 4: And so if you can thwart your lifestyle from experiencing that,

1801
01:25:00,320 --> 01:25:02,479
Speaker 4: then you won't have to go through so much soul

1802
01:25:02,560 --> 01:25:05,360
Speaker 4: tie breaking from what you've seen through your eye gates

1803
01:25:05,360 --> 01:25:08,160
Speaker 4: and irrgates. Asking God to deliver you from these things

1804
01:25:08,200 --> 01:25:11,240
Speaker 4: so that you can show up healthy in your future wife.

1805
01:25:11,360 --> 01:25:13,960
Speaker 4: That's so good because that's the truth. It's like we've

1806
01:25:13,960 --> 01:25:16,799
Speaker 4: been taught that so much. They always say, so your royos,

1807
01:25:16,840 --> 01:25:19,320
Speaker 4: go go have sex with as many women as possible.

1808
01:25:19,360 --> 01:25:20,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then.

1809
01:25:19,920 --> 01:25:23,040
Speaker 4: You've trained your body to be in in and out

1810
01:25:23,040 --> 01:25:26,599
Speaker 4: of different women's bed every day. And then you're gonna say, oh,

1811
01:25:26,640 --> 01:25:29,400
Speaker 4: and I'm gonna take you for holy matrimony, and then

1812
01:25:29,439 --> 01:25:31,960
Speaker 4: that's why it sounds like a prison sentence. The minute

1813
01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:34,599
Speaker 4: that people get married that you know, the grooms are

1814
01:25:34,600 --> 01:25:37,240
Speaker 4: in the room saying, got that old ball and chain.

1815
01:25:37,400 --> 01:25:39,280
Speaker 4: You know they call marriage an old ball and chain.

1816
01:25:39,360 --> 01:25:41,280
Speaker 4: They say, you're just gonna have this one woman for

1817
01:25:41,320 --> 01:25:44,120
Speaker 4: the rest of your life, and it's frowned upon instead

1818
01:25:44,120 --> 01:25:46,599
Speaker 4: of applauded and say, man, that's amazing. You're gonna show

1819
01:25:46,640 --> 01:25:48,839
Speaker 4: up as a man that's gonna be faithful and honorable,

1820
01:25:49,040 --> 01:25:51,479
Speaker 4: and you're gonna be able to cover this one woman

1821
01:25:51,680 --> 01:25:53,320
Speaker 4: for the rest of your life, not to deal with

1822
01:25:53,400 --> 01:25:56,200
Speaker 4: the drama of different women blowing your phone up. You

1823
01:25:56,200 --> 01:25:58,840
Speaker 4: gotta hide your phone because you getting text messages. You

1824
01:25:58,880 --> 01:26:01,559
Speaker 4: get a chance to honor one woman. And so I've

1825
01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:04,960
Speaker 4: normalized these conversations with my nephew son La Darien and

1826
01:26:05,040 --> 01:26:06,800
Speaker 4: saying that no, listen, I want you to be a

1827
01:26:06,880 --> 01:26:09,160
Speaker 4: mighty man of valor. It's not that you need to

1828
01:26:09,160 --> 01:26:11,160
Speaker 4: get this out of your system. Because at the end

1829
01:26:11,160 --> 01:26:13,280
Speaker 4: of the day, if we program men to get it

1830
01:26:13,320 --> 01:26:15,200
Speaker 4: out of our system, then we normalize that that's what

1831
01:26:15,200 --> 01:26:16,519
Speaker 4: we're supposed to have in our system.

1832
01:26:16,720 --> 01:26:20,000
Speaker 2: Yes, and there's there's one of my favorite Bible verses

1833
01:26:20,280 --> 01:26:23,240
Speaker 2: when people talk about like the concept of sex is

1834
01:26:23,640 --> 01:26:29,080
Speaker 2: it's in Firse Corinthian six, where it's in Matthews. I

1835
01:26:29,080 --> 01:26:33,240
Speaker 2: think it's in the New Testament. There we go, I

1836
01:26:33,240 --> 01:26:37,280
Speaker 2: am where it says, you know, they're talking or Paul's

1837
01:26:37,320 --> 01:26:39,799
Speaker 2: talking to the people at Corinth so it isn't verse conthidence.

1838
01:26:40,200 --> 01:26:43,160
Speaker 2: And they're like, okay, okay, Well tell us like when

1839
01:26:43,160 --> 01:26:46,960
Speaker 2: a man has sex with a prostitute, like what happens?

1840
01:26:47,280 --> 01:26:49,519
Speaker 2: And he was like, well, when a man has sex

1841
01:26:49,560 --> 01:26:53,240
Speaker 2: with the prostitute, they become one. And I think I

1842
01:26:53,320 --> 01:26:56,639
Speaker 2: love that they use the extreme versus just a woman

1843
01:26:57,080 --> 01:26:59,719
Speaker 2: because even when you were just sleeping around with people,

1844
01:27:00,200 --> 01:27:02,160
Speaker 2: now like marriage is supposed to be this covenant where

1845
01:27:02,200 --> 01:27:05,040
Speaker 2: you're able to fight their battles and you're supposed to

1846
01:27:05,040 --> 01:27:07,840
Speaker 2: fight them together. So it's like all the things you

1847
01:27:07,880 --> 01:27:10,960
Speaker 2: go through like spiritually and also you exceed at and

1848
01:27:11,040 --> 01:27:13,559
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people find themselves and these

1849
01:27:13,600 --> 01:27:17,200
Speaker 2: depressive swings are like detached emotionally, yep, because they've just

1850
01:27:17,280 --> 01:27:19,800
Speaker 2: been getting this transfer so many people that they keep

1851
01:27:19,840 --> 01:27:23,240
Speaker 2: becoming one with and they're not taking it as seriously

1852
01:27:23,720 --> 01:27:25,640
Speaker 2: in terms of what that does to you internally. So

1853
01:27:25,640 --> 01:27:27,719
Speaker 2: That's why I like, For me, I take that seriously

1854
01:27:27,720 --> 01:27:29,880
Speaker 2: because I'm like, guys, I don't think you understand that

1855
01:27:30,120 --> 01:27:33,960
Speaker 2: David lost his blessing because of this facts like same

1856
01:27:34,000 --> 01:27:35,040
Speaker 2: thing happened with Samson.

1857
01:27:35,200 --> 01:27:35,400
Speaker 4: Yep.

1858
01:27:35,640 --> 01:27:38,880
Speaker 2: So for me, I take it as seriously as who

1859
01:27:38,960 --> 01:27:40,840
Speaker 2: you mess around with. Even if you just want to

1860
01:27:40,840 --> 01:27:43,120
Speaker 2: have a fun night, that thirty minutes could cost you

1861
01:27:43,200 --> 01:27:44,240
Speaker 2: thirty years, and I.

1862
01:27:44,160 --> 01:27:45,320
Speaker 1: Just don't think that's worth it.

1863
01:27:45,400 --> 01:27:45,880
Speaker 4: That's good.

1864
01:27:46,000 --> 01:27:47,559
Speaker 1: I wanted to add on to what year.

1865
01:27:47,720 --> 01:27:48,679
Speaker 4: Well, I love what you're saying.

1866
01:27:48,760 --> 01:27:48,920
Speaker 5: Now.

1867
01:27:49,040 --> 01:27:50,360
Speaker 4: I want you to get ready to drop a key

1868
01:27:50,439 --> 01:27:52,680
Speaker 4: to love. So grab that box and I want you

1869
01:27:52,720 --> 01:27:55,800
Speaker 4: to write down a key to love that you want

1870
01:27:55,840 --> 01:27:59,439
Speaker 4: to leave. You're going to write it a brief little sentence,

1871
01:27:59,600 --> 01:28:03,240
Speaker 4: state word whatever, sign your name to it, and then

1872
01:28:03,479 --> 01:28:06,320
Speaker 4: read it, and then we'll have you hang it up

1873
01:28:06,400 --> 01:28:09,720
Speaker 4: on the key to Love wall. This was good, Actually, huh,

1874
01:28:10,040 --> 01:28:12,439
Speaker 4: this really good. I love when I get a chance

1875
01:28:12,479 --> 01:28:14,080
Speaker 4: to talk to I feel like, oh, when I say.

1876
01:28:13,960 --> 01:28:17,920
Speaker 5: Young people, young people, I mean twenty four and so

1877
01:28:18,120 --> 01:28:20,799
Speaker 5: much wisdom and in the word.

1878
01:28:21,240 --> 01:28:22,720
Speaker 4: And she did a lot of work. You can tell

1879
01:28:22,880 --> 01:28:24,400
Speaker 4: she's done a lot of work. I'm glad that she

1880
01:28:24,439 --> 01:28:26,960
Speaker 4: brought up going through therapy. Therapy is so important, and

1881
01:28:27,000 --> 01:28:30,360
Speaker 4: some key things and some powerful takeaways is that she

1882
01:28:30,520 --> 01:28:34,800
Speaker 4: recognized where she was going wrong. She took ownership accountability,

1883
01:28:34,840 --> 01:28:38,880
Speaker 4: saying how she emaculated her last boyfriend. She operated, and

1884
01:28:41,439 --> 01:28:44,400
Speaker 4: she humbled herself, and you know, she had to get

1885
01:28:44,400 --> 01:28:46,920
Speaker 4: on her knees and beg them, but she operated in

1886
01:28:47,000 --> 01:28:50,840
Speaker 4: a huge display of humility by apologizing to them. And

1887
01:28:50,880 --> 01:28:53,960
Speaker 4: then I love that her father stepped in and began

1888
01:28:54,080 --> 01:28:57,639
Speaker 4: to heal the heart of his daughter. That speaks volumes

1889
01:28:57,640 --> 01:28:59,960
Speaker 4: to me, because you know, I'm a hashtag girl dad.

1890
01:29:00,360 --> 01:29:04,640
Speaker 4: But the fact that her father, how did you word it?

1891
01:29:04,680 --> 01:29:09,120
Speaker 4: You said heartbreak? What'd you say? Break up boot camp? Yeah,

1892
01:29:09,240 --> 01:29:10,040
Speaker 4: she said break.

1893
01:29:09,920 --> 01:29:11,200
Speaker 1: Up, break camp, boot camp.

1894
01:29:11,280 --> 01:29:13,559
Speaker 4: That her father took us through break up boot camp

1895
01:29:13,840 --> 01:29:17,160
Speaker 4: and something key that he did that I recommend every

1896
01:29:17,320 --> 01:29:20,760
Speaker 4: parent to do. Share your own story. The Bible says

1897
01:29:20,800 --> 01:29:23,040
Speaker 4: that people overcome by the word of our testimony and

1898
01:29:23,120 --> 01:29:25,759
Speaker 4: by the blood of the Lamb. He shared his testimony

1899
01:29:25,800 --> 01:29:28,280
Speaker 4: and say, hey, listen, I was here, I was in

1900
01:29:28,360 --> 01:29:30,120
Speaker 4: this place where I had the woman that had all

1901
01:29:30,160 --> 01:29:31,880
Speaker 4: the money, had this or whatever. But the way she

1902
01:29:32,040 --> 01:29:33,840
Speaker 4: talked to me, she was a masculating me. I didn't

1903
01:29:33,840 --> 01:29:36,040
Speaker 4: want this. This other woman came to my life brought me peace.

1904
01:29:36,280 --> 01:29:38,599
Speaker 4: That's who I chose to put a ring on, you know.

1905
01:29:38,720 --> 01:29:41,080
Speaker 4: And so we just need our parents to be more

1906
01:29:41,280 --> 01:29:43,360
Speaker 4: forthcoming because they used to say what happens in the

1907
01:29:43,400 --> 01:29:45,000
Speaker 4: house stays in the house. I'm not going to share

1908
01:29:45,120 --> 01:29:47,840
Speaker 4: nothing about No, be transparent and vulnerable so we can

1909
01:29:47,920 --> 01:29:52,080
Speaker 4: learn from your mistakes, your decisions, and things that you overcome.

1910
01:29:53,360 --> 01:29:54,759
Speaker 4: Go ahead, tell me what you wrote.

1911
01:29:54,560 --> 01:29:57,040
Speaker 1: There it was.

1912
01:29:57,120 --> 01:29:59,040
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people should also be willing

1913
01:29:59,120 --> 01:30:02,720
Speaker 2: to share the relationship and ships with their parents. I

1914
01:30:02,720 --> 01:30:05,040
Speaker 2: think a lot of kids are really afraid or they

1915
01:30:05,040 --> 01:30:05,479
Speaker 2: feel like.

1916
01:30:05,520 --> 01:30:06,880
Speaker 1: Well, I'm grown, I know what I'm doing.

1917
01:30:06,920 --> 01:30:09,000
Speaker 2: But like I always say, there's something that will take

1918
01:30:09,040 --> 01:30:11,160
Speaker 2: you six months to realize that you tell someone else

1919
01:30:11,479 --> 01:30:12,880
Speaker 2: and they'll understand in six minutes.

1920
01:30:13,000 --> 01:30:14,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, and they're like, oh no, no.

1921
01:30:14,760 --> 01:30:17,479
Speaker 2: That has to go like yep, but you spend all

1922
01:30:17,479 --> 01:30:19,599
Speaker 2: this time learning the hard way.

1923
01:30:19,920 --> 01:30:22,960
Speaker 1: But I wrote, take me a second to think of one.

1924
01:30:23,080 --> 01:30:24,000
Speaker 4: Go what you got.

1925
01:30:24,040 --> 01:30:27,679
Speaker 1: But it's simple. I think it's true. I said, love

1926
01:30:27,720 --> 01:30:30,519
Speaker 1: yourself just as much as you want to love others.

1927
01:30:31,000 --> 01:30:31,879
Speaker 4: Why is that important?

1928
01:30:32,000 --> 01:30:35,360
Speaker 2: Because I think a lot of people they crave connection,

1929
01:30:35,640 --> 01:30:39,080
Speaker 2: and they crave love, and they crave like being with someone,

1930
01:30:39,800 --> 01:30:43,280
Speaker 2: but they never even look internally at themselves of just

1931
01:30:43,320 --> 01:30:46,320
Speaker 2: being content with who they are and still like taking

1932
01:30:46,360 --> 01:30:48,200
Speaker 2: themselves on like those solo dates. Like I know some

1933
01:30:48,280 --> 01:30:50,720
Speaker 2: people who they won't leave the house unless they're doing

1934
01:30:50,720 --> 01:30:52,400
Speaker 2: it with someone. Ye, And I'm like, I'm not going

1935
01:30:52,479 --> 01:30:55,519
Speaker 2: to let somebody stop me from going to explore the

1936
01:30:55,560 --> 01:30:56,000
Speaker 2: things that.

1937
01:30:55,920 --> 01:30:57,760
Speaker 1: I want to do and want to see.

1938
01:30:57,840 --> 01:31:02,040
Speaker 2: So, as I said, love yourself first and then it's

1939
01:31:02,080 --> 01:31:03,800
Speaker 2: easier to love other people as well.

1940
01:31:03,880 --> 01:31:07,559
Speaker 4: Yeah, people to learn good. Let people be about the

1941
01:31:07,600 --> 01:31:09,799
Speaker 4: overflow of your love you have for yourself.

1942
01:31:10,680 --> 01:31:12,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, and take yourself out on dates.

1943
01:31:12,800 --> 01:31:13,280
Speaker 4: Absolutely.

1944
01:31:13,360 --> 01:31:13,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1945
01:31:14,280 --> 01:31:16,920
Speaker 4: Me and her believe in that very firmly in our

1946
01:31:16,960 --> 01:31:19,599
Speaker 4: single season where it was like, if you can't join

1947
01:31:19,640 --> 01:31:21,439
Speaker 4: your own company, then how you expect somebody else to

1948
01:31:21,520 --> 01:31:26,360
Speaker 4: enjoy your company? Enjoy yourself. Go ahead, stand up if

1949
01:31:26,400 --> 01:31:31,000
Speaker 4: you will, please and hang that up there. Yeah. I asked,

1950
01:31:31,080 --> 01:31:31,920
Speaker 4: what do you think about this?

1951
01:31:32,880 --> 01:31:33,639
Speaker 1: I thought it was great?

1952
01:31:33,720 --> 01:31:35,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was. It was. It was very impactful.

1953
01:31:35,960 --> 01:31:38,720
Speaker 5: It was you just you covered the recap of what

1954
01:31:38,760 --> 01:31:41,040
Speaker 5: you said when she was writing was a spot on.

1955
01:31:41,280 --> 01:31:44,800
Speaker 5: I said, Okay, go ahead and recap everything. You ran

1956
01:31:44,880 --> 01:31:49,080
Speaker 5: it down. You ran it down. But I love what

1957
01:31:49,120 --> 01:31:53,120
Speaker 5: she said about about fathers and daughters. Yes, and I

1958
01:31:53,160 --> 01:31:57,200
Speaker 5: hope that the fathers that have daughters really listen to

1959
01:31:57,280 --> 01:32:00,320
Speaker 5: this episode and are able to see the tangent bull

1960
01:32:01,439 --> 01:32:04,920
Speaker 5: result of their involvement in their daughter's lives in a

1961
01:32:04,960 --> 01:32:05,439
Speaker 5: healthy way.

1962
01:32:05,479 --> 01:32:06,759
Speaker 4: You think your dad to come on the podcast?

1963
01:32:06,840 --> 01:32:09,439
Speaker 1: Well, you know when I when I was called him earlier,

1964
01:32:09,439 --> 01:32:10,200
Speaker 1: He's like, oh, you want.

1965
01:32:10,040 --> 01:32:11,840
Speaker 4: Me to come?

1966
01:32:12,240 --> 01:32:12,400
Speaker 1: Man?

1967
01:32:12,720 --> 01:32:16,120
Speaker 2: No, I think he because I every time I talked

1968
01:32:16,120 --> 01:32:20,680
Speaker 2: to him, like man, he's obviously a knowledge like just

1969
01:32:20,720 --> 01:32:22,600
Speaker 2: has a lot of a wealth of knowledge. And I

1970
01:32:22,640 --> 01:32:26,760
Speaker 2: always say, like I love soaking up different experiences and

1971
01:32:26,840 --> 01:32:30,640
Speaker 2: learning from the more experienced generation. I don't care for

1972
01:32:30,680 --> 01:32:33,240
Speaker 2: everyone's opinions now, but like people who've literally been there,

1973
01:32:33,320 --> 01:32:36,920
Speaker 2: done that, because they see the things that you don't see.

1974
01:32:37,040 --> 01:32:40,280
Speaker 4: You know so well, I then, Kelly, it was a

1975
01:32:40,280 --> 01:32:43,160
Speaker 4: pleasure speaking to you. How can people get connected with you?

1976
01:32:43,840 --> 01:32:47,960
Speaker 2: I am on all social medias under at Kelly Og.

1977
01:32:48,240 --> 01:32:53,120
Speaker 2: That's O h G E E like og og or

1978
01:32:53,200 --> 01:32:56,600
Speaker 2: she's an og Kelly OG. And I am on a

1979
01:32:56,640 --> 01:33:01,800
Speaker 2: mission to reform personal financial education If that's you, then

1980
01:33:01,840 --> 01:33:02,640
Speaker 2: I want to see you.

1981
01:33:03,080 --> 01:33:05,200
Speaker 4: Have you started doing your CTA for.

1982
01:33:05,880 --> 01:33:08,559
Speaker 1: Traded Us, Oh, like my call to action?

1983
01:33:08,760 --> 01:33:11,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, for the new program.

1984
01:33:11,400 --> 01:33:14,720
Speaker 2: Oh well, I mean we're we're available, so the way

1985
01:33:14,760 --> 01:33:17,719
Speaker 2: we're structured is different. But yes, we're like an actual

1986
01:33:17,800 --> 01:33:19,120
Speaker 2: university to learn how to trade.

1987
01:33:19,120 --> 01:33:20,920
Speaker 4: Because I think it's already started.

1988
01:33:22,360 --> 01:33:25,720
Speaker 2: Yes, but our next semester starts in July. Okay, so

1989
01:33:25,800 --> 01:33:26,880
Speaker 2: you want to make sure you apply.

1990
01:33:27,200 --> 01:33:29,920
Speaker 4: Okay. Yeah, so on your social media they have all

1991
01:33:29,920 --> 01:33:30,840
Speaker 4: that to be connected to.

1992
01:33:31,080 --> 01:33:34,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, trade it Solutions dot com. Have you

1993
01:33:34,880 --> 01:33:37,240
Speaker 1: seen the website? Oh, you should see the website.

1994
01:33:37,280 --> 01:33:39,840
Speaker 2: We like custom build everything, so like when you go

1995
01:33:39,840 --> 01:33:41,840
Speaker 2: to the website, you're like, the heck is it?

1996
01:33:42,160 --> 01:33:43,639
Speaker 4: That's where you put all your money and then that's

1997
01:33:43,640 --> 01:33:43,920
Speaker 4: what you.

1998
01:33:43,880 --> 01:33:44,320
Speaker 1: Want to Yeah.

1999
01:33:44,360 --> 01:33:47,120
Speaker 2: Well, we're looking for actual enterprise value beyond just like

2000
01:33:47,160 --> 01:33:47,679
Speaker 2: cash flow.

2001
01:33:47,720 --> 01:33:48,800
Speaker 1: That's a whole other conversation.

2002
01:33:49,760 --> 01:33:54,639
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, enterprise value different levels.

2003
01:33:55,760 --> 01:33:58,799
Speaker 4: All right, Well made the love that you share today

2004
01:33:59,120 --> 01:34:00,479
Speaker 4: outlived the season you're in.

2005
01:34:00,640 --> 01:34:03,599
Speaker 3: And may carry you through the days when words are

2006
01:34:03,720 --> 01:34:05,280
Speaker 3: few and faith.

2007
01:34:05,120 --> 01:34:06,440
Speaker 1: Has to do the talking.

2008
01:34:06,600 --> 01:34:08,840
Speaker 4: Y'all give it up for my homie, Kelly og.

2009
01:34:09,240 --> 01:34:09,760
Speaker 1: Thank you.

2010
01:34:11,560 --> 01:34:17,040
Speaker 4: Ladarian thrust it suddenly into child protective services. In twenty fifteen,

2011
01:34:17,320 --> 01:34:21,960
Speaker 4: my nephew, black a boy. The likelihood have been adopted

2012
01:34:21,960 --> 01:34:27,320
Speaker 4: outside of kinship slim to none? Rmione sixteen years old,

2013
01:34:27,520 --> 01:34:31,120
Speaker 4: black a boy with five years in the Falster care

2014
01:34:31,200 --> 01:34:34,600
Speaker 4: system before I even knew his name. The likelihood have

2015
01:34:34,680 --> 01:34:39,000
Speaker 4: ever been adopted? Yep, you guessed it. Slim to none.

2016
01:34:40,479 --> 01:34:43,519
Speaker 4: While Ladarian and Ourmiani were trying to survive and barely

2017
01:34:43,560 --> 01:34:47,000
Speaker 4: thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded false care system, I

2018
01:34:47,080 --> 01:34:50,400
Speaker 4: was living my own life, doing well professionally, having been

2019
01:34:50,439 --> 01:34:52,639
Speaker 4: a single father with a daughter who at that point

2020
01:34:52,720 --> 01:34:55,080
Speaker 4: was doing well in college. It was my time to

2021
01:34:55,120 --> 01:35:01,720
Speaker 4: live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.

2022
01:35:02,640 --> 01:35:06,000
Speaker 4: There are just two many of our black children stuck

2023
01:35:06,280 --> 01:35:09,800
Speaker 4: in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falseter care system.

2024
01:35:10,280 --> 01:35:14,240
Speaker 4: In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladaria. Fast

2025
01:35:14,320 --> 01:35:16,680
Speaker 4: forward to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to this

2026
01:35:16,720 --> 01:35:19,200
Speaker 4: other young king, but I felt God instructed me to

2027
01:35:19,280 --> 01:35:22,759
Speaker 4: adopt them also on al bate. Starting over with parenting

2028
01:35:22,840 --> 01:35:25,680
Speaker 4: should have been enough. Right, Working with various foster care

2029
01:35:25,720 --> 01:35:28,960
Speaker 4: and adoption agencies to help bring awareness to the countless

2030
01:35:29,080 --> 01:35:32,560
Speaker 4: young Black Kings and the Falster Care system should have decreased.

2031
01:35:32,600 --> 01:35:36,320
Speaker 4: My agitation right joined the board of directors of Advantage

2032
01:35:36,360 --> 01:35:40,240
Speaker 4: Adoption and organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes for

2033
01:35:40,320 --> 01:35:42,760
Speaker 4: children in Falter Care should have led to some type

2034
01:35:42,760 --> 01:35:47,280
Speaker 4: of resolve. Right, No, not at all. None of it

2035
01:35:47,360 --> 01:35:51,720
Speaker 4: felt like I had done enough. I now realized that

2036
01:35:51,920 --> 01:35:55,719
Speaker 4: every one of those experiences was land the fundamental foundation

2037
01:35:55,840 --> 01:36:01,480
Speaker 4: for my life's mission. Kingdom Royal Royal would be a luxury,

2038
01:36:01,520 --> 01:36:04,400
Speaker 4: state of the art home for foster boys. Our first

2039
01:36:04,400 --> 01:36:07,519
Speaker 4: location will be in the Dallas Fortwork Metroplex. We will

2040
01:36:07,600 --> 01:36:11,920
Speaker 4: utilize the whole person approach that instills identity, empowers them

2041
01:36:11,920 --> 01:36:15,840
Speaker 4: to advocate for themselves, and enlightens them regarding new perspectives

2042
01:36:16,000 --> 01:36:21,280
Speaker 4: and limitless options that they thought were impossible. Though. The

2043
01:36:21,320 --> 01:36:23,639
Speaker 4: young Kings will attend the local public schools that are

2044
01:36:23,640 --> 01:36:27,679
Speaker 4: in proximity to Kingdom Royal. Our at home curriculum will

2045
01:36:27,680 --> 01:36:31,360
Speaker 4: broaden their worldview through participating in the arts, attending various

2046
01:36:31,400 --> 01:36:36,160
Speaker 4: cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about

2047
01:36:36,240 --> 01:36:40,360
Speaker 4: current events and even relevant historical contexts, introducing them to

2048
01:36:40,479 --> 01:36:44,320
Speaker 4: gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our animals on

2049
01:36:44,360 --> 01:36:48,160
Speaker 4: our form and on site stables. We just launched our

2050
01:36:48,280 --> 01:36:51,320
Speaker 4: startup capital campaign with the goal of raising two point

2051
01:36:51,400 --> 01:36:54,639
Speaker 4: eight million dollars. Now why two point eight million dollars? Well,

2052
01:36:54,640 --> 01:36:57,000
Speaker 4: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

2053
01:36:57,040 --> 01:37:00,960
Speaker 4: I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

2054
01:37:01,200 --> 01:37:03,479
Speaker 4: One of the most notable successes was that one of

2055
01:37:03,479 --> 01:37:08,759
Speaker 4: the videos went viral, garnering twenty eight million views. However,

2056
01:37:09,080 --> 01:37:11,320
Speaker 4: one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise

2057
01:37:11,320 --> 01:37:14,720
Speaker 4: a single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable

2058
01:37:14,720 --> 01:37:18,840
Speaker 4: plan for the homeless community. So, throughout the years, with

2059
01:37:19,080 --> 01:37:22,599
Speaker 4: much remorse, I reflect that I'm not maximizing that moment.

2060
01:37:22,680 --> 01:37:25,640
Speaker 4: I knew if at that time just ten percent of

2061
01:37:25,640 --> 01:37:28,519
Speaker 4: the viewers donated one dollar, we would have raised at

2062
01:37:28,600 --> 01:37:32,080
Speaker 4: least two point eight million dollars that could have really

2063
01:37:32,200 --> 01:37:35,200
Speaker 4: established long term support for the homeless community, or at

2064
01:37:35,280 --> 01:37:39,280
Speaker 4: least started a long term initiative to do so. This

2065
01:37:39,920 --> 01:37:43,759
Speaker 4: is my do over, this is our new beginning. Together,

2066
01:37:44,040 --> 01:37:47,360
Speaker 4: we can attack this at the route by specifically helping

2067
01:37:47,479 --> 01:37:52,360
Speaker 4: our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented in

2068
01:37:52,400 --> 01:37:55,879
Speaker 4: the American fossil care system. I'm the Terra sar Wickfield.

2069
01:37:55,880 --> 01:37:59,320
Speaker 4: I've been nominated for three Regional Emmys documenting my work

2070
01:37:59,320 --> 01:38:02,320
Speaker 4: with the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey.

2071
01:38:02,840 --> 01:38:07,280
Speaker 4: Despite those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly

2072
01:38:07,400 --> 01:38:13,120
Speaker 4: providing the infrastructure for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot

2073
01:38:13,160 --> 01:38:16,760
Speaker 4: com for more details, crown a king and make a

2074
01:38:16,800 --> 01:38:26,800
Speaker 4: donation today. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the

2075
01:38:26,800 --> 01:38:32,280
Speaker 4: Dear Future WIFEI podcast. Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently,

2076
01:38:32,760 --> 01:38:35,599
Speaker 4: and don't stop loving. Make sure to subscribe to our

2077
01:38:35,640 --> 01:38:39,000
Speaker 4: Dear Future Wife and YouTube channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts,

2078
01:38:39,040 --> 01:38:42,759
Speaker 4: Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher. You welcome your support. Simply

2079
01:38:42,800 --> 01:38:44,639
Speaker 4: share our podcasts with your friends and family.