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Speaker 1: The biggest breakthrough for us was our second date. I

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Speaker 1: was asking him, do you see yourself getting married again?

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Speaker 1: I can only imagine emotionally mentally, and he straight up

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Speaker 1: told me, oh, I'm gonna be a baby daddy. I said, well,

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Speaker 1: I love that for you, but I'm somebody's wife. You're

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Speaker 1: not going to do that with me.

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Speaker 2: That's when I knew she was the one. No woman

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Speaker 2: had stood on their morals like that. It was just

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Speaker 2: trying to be with me, just to be with me.

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Speaker 3: She cares about how I feel, what I'm doing, what's

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Speaker 3: on my mind.

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Speaker 2: That's powerful. Dog, I got a partner.

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Speaker 4: Here they are celebrating three weeks of marriage. Wel to

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Speaker 4: dear Future Wiggie podcast Mister and Missus Ray's Singleton.

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Speaker 1: We're so compatible, it's crazy. I told her all the time,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you're literally just.

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Speaker 5: Me but a man.

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Speaker 4: Two years ago we met an incredible couple whose story

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Speaker 4: inspired all of us.

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Speaker 3: I was married before I'm actually a widow. Our love

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Speaker 3: had went viral. We had been on Ellen Degenerous America's

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Speaker 3: Got Talented Black Love. As you mentioned, my late wife

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Speaker 3: by the name of Rosenhad Royal Singleton passed away. November fifteenth,

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty two, from stage four brain cancer. People were really,

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Speaker 3: really attached to our story, and when I decided to

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Speaker 3: find someone who literally restored my heart, people had mixed

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Speaker 3: feelings about it. At her funeral, her dad walked up

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Speaker 3: to me and said, you did right by my daughter.

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Speaker 3: I didn't care about nobody else's opinion.

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Speaker 2: After that, you still feel the need to respond when

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Speaker 2: I have time.

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Speaker 5: We met up at a run club.

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Speaker 1: By the time I get back to my car, he

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Speaker 1: did me, it's on the scale of one to ten,

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Speaker 1: how likely is it that I can take you to dinner?

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Speaker 2: And I was loud.

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Speaker 3: That was the message that got left on red all right,

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Speaker 3: that was a message.

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Speaker 1: I genuinely am living in my soft woman era. And

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Speaker 1: I don't say soft girl because I'm not a girl.

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Speaker 2: We're grown.

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Speaker 1: I can cater and submit. That's a word that a

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Speaker 1: lot of women like to get upset about.

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Speaker 2: It's a lot of hard stuff we got to do

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Speaker 2: in life. Being in love. Ain't ain't gonna be one

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Speaker 2: of them for me.

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Speaker 4: From your wife passed away and you post this is

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Speaker 4: my girlfriend?

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Speaker 2: How long?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, How in the world could you move on so quickly?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Dear Future WIFEI podcast has global impact from Texas.

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Speaker 1: I have been on this journey of healing and self

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Speaker 1: discovery and this podcast has been a vital part of

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Speaker 1: my process. God's establishing through you a legacy, a display

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Speaker 1: of freedom, founding authentic spirituality.

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Speaker 2: California.

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Speaker 3: I learned so much as a single man through your podcast,

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Speaker 3: and continue to learn so much as now a married

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Speaker 3: man Nigeria.

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Speaker 5: This is just therapy for me.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've been healed, I've been strengthening in my

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Speaker 1: convictions on the stot have to do single hoopta Amsterdam

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Speaker 1: way that you've shown us how it is possible for

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Speaker 1: a man to be as intentional as you are New Jersey.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate your vulnerability.

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Speaker 4: I appreciate just being able to see that there is

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Speaker 4: life after divorce.

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Speaker 2: To New York.

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Speaker 3: I am a single woman, so these episodes really give

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Speaker 3: me hope and courage that God does have a husband.

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Speaker 2: For me discover, cover and recover love.

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Speaker 4: I'm Lati Saar Whitfield and this is season ten of

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Speaker 4: the Dear Future Wifie Podcast. Welcome to Dear Future Wifie Podcast.

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Speaker 4: I'm your host, Lati saw Whitfield.

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Speaker 2: Listen.

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Speaker 4: Are you still shacking up with us. If you're still

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Speaker 4: shacking up with us, can we get a committee. Hit

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Speaker 4: that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure you're turning your

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Speaker 4: notification bell so be notified about upcoming episodes.

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Speaker 2: Make sure you click the link.

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Speaker 4: In the description sign up for the metal List also

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Speaker 4: joined the Patreon so you can see the journey as

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Speaker 4: I prepare to take vows on November the twenty.

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Speaker 2: Second of this year. Listen this couple.

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Speaker 4: I've been wanting to talk to them for about two

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Speaker 4: years now, and at the time we're recording this, which

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Speaker 4: is Friday, what is September fifth, they are celebrating three.

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Speaker 2: Weeks of marriage.

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Speaker 4: And so, without further ado, welcome to a Dear Future

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Speaker 4: WIFEI podcast that New that that New News. Let people know.

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Speaker 4: If I was a batman, I would bet that y'all

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Speaker 4: in love.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that would be a correct best.

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Speaker 4: So so let me ask you why why would you

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Speaker 4: say that y'all are in love?

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Speaker 1: Well, when it's God ordained and God is at the

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Speaker 1: center and you're equally yoked, what better way than to

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Speaker 1: be in love? I feel like the things that we

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Speaker 1: check off on each other's lists, we are so compatible,

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Speaker 1: it's crazy, Like it literally blows.

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Speaker 5: Our mind all the time.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you're literally just me but a man, even

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Speaker 1: down to I'll give you one, even down to our childhood,

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Speaker 1: the way we grew up.

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Speaker 5: We both grew up.

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Speaker 1: Not eating vegetables, so our go to was chicken, mashed potatoes,

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Speaker 1: and and cheese.

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Speaker 5: And we are still that same way to this day.

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Speaker 1: Night So when we were starting to go on dates

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Speaker 1: and starting to post our food and going out to eat,

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Speaker 1: people like y'all don't got no.

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Speaker 5: Vegetables, blank what we like, and we keep it.

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Speaker 2: There, keep.

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Speaker 4: But you feel like you have to put on airs

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Speaker 4: at the very beginning rate. You know, try to take

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Speaker 4: us to nice restaurants and not just order chicken strips.

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Speaker 2: No, I mean, I am cultured ladies. I enjoy a

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Speaker 2: nice filate from now.

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Speaker 3: But our first date was at a steakhouse and gave

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Speaker 3: her the works.

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Speaker 2: Man, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: Whole show opened the door still due to this day,

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Speaker 3: fellas open your lady's door, but just just courted her

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Speaker 3: man and the conversation we had. I didn't have to

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Speaker 3: feel uptight, I was relaxed.

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Speaker 2: I was myself.

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Speaker 3: I didn't have to put on a character she accepted

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Speaker 3: me for exactly who I was, and it's amazing.

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Speaker 2: Man. So y'all got married just three weeks ago? How

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Speaker 2: does it feel?

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Speaker 5: Amazing?

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Speaker 2: Videos of fire? Y'all? Stuff is fire?

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Speaker 4: Whose idea was it to make sure that that was

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Speaker 4: on point?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, my husband just showed up. I love that for him.

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Speaker 1: I literally planned everything from front to back and back

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Speaker 1: to front. I've mocked up everything in Canva, gave it

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Speaker 1: to our designers, had meetings every day. You said, you

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Speaker 1: did up your own wedding planning, yes, and then I

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Speaker 1: handed everything over the day of this, I made a

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Speaker 1: playbook from everything from starting to finish tomline what Tom,

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Speaker 1: to get ready?

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Speaker 2: All the things really stress you out.

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Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, Like you don't really understand it until you're

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Speaker 1: in it.

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Speaker 4: Because a lot of So it's two things that happened,

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Speaker 4: but I'm gonna say it, so what happens.

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Speaker 3: In the I'm right, congratulation, congratulations.

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Speaker 1: So from the jump, it's managing your regular tasks and

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Speaker 1: duties on top of adding on your dream wedding that

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Speaker 1: you've envisioned in your mind and making sure everyone else

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Speaker 1: around you understands that same concept. So still working a

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Speaker 1: nine to five on top of running my clothing boutique,

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Speaker 1: on top of my husband's schedule being a musician.

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Speaker 5: We both travel.

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Speaker 1: We're always going somewhere every week, So managing that and

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Speaker 1: then carving out time for meeting with the video team,

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Speaker 1: the coordinator, the venue, making sure food is on point,

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Speaker 1: making sure the bridesmaids got everything.

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Speaker 2: The whole time.

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Speaker 1: I'm over here, Oh my gosh, I need this and this,

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Speaker 1: and Ray was just like, it's gonna work out, man,

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Speaker 1: you're soorry.

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Speaker 4: What people don't understand is there's a cost to all

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Speaker 4: of this that you're there's a wedding premium and so

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Speaker 4: with everything what you're doing, just because it's a wedding

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Speaker 4: and everything costs a whole lot.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, ten times.

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Speaker 4: How did y'all manage your relationship and not allowing the issues? Well,

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Speaker 4: I assume maybe that y'all did deal with a lot

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Speaker 4: of stuff in the wedding process. How did y'all try

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Speaker 4: to protect your relationship for y'all not to fall out

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Speaker 4: while y'all trying to plan this amazing day?

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Speaker 1: So I would say one of the biggest things that

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Speaker 1: Ray and I have continued to do on our relationship

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Speaker 1: is have mental health check ins. So what that consists

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Speaker 1: of is once we realized we've had a crazy week,

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Speaker 1: we will literally sit down with each other and say,

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Speaker 1: you know what, honey, how are you? Where are you mentally?

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Speaker 1: Not just how is your day? What'd you do today?

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Speaker 1: How are you mentally? What's weighing on you this week?

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Speaker 1: What's something I can take off of your plate? So

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Speaker 1: having a partner where we can discuss those things on

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Speaker 1: a weekly basis and we still date each other, like,

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Speaker 1: and it can be something as small as I know

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Speaker 1: you had a long day. On your lunch break, let's

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Speaker 1: go to chick Fila my baby. Know, having those check

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Speaker 1: ins in that one on one time really matters in

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Speaker 1: the long run.

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Speaker 2: What about you Ray letting her know I'm on her side. Like,

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Speaker 2: that's that's the thing.

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Speaker 3: It's small, but a lot of relationships miss it. It's

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Speaker 3: like it's not us against each other, it's us against

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Speaker 3: the problem. Like understanding, Hey, I'm on your side, I'm

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Speaker 3: on your team. Whatever you need me to do, I'm

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Speaker 3: here for you. I'm a very see the silver lining

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Speaker 3: in every situation. So every day it's gonna be great,

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Speaker 3: it's gonna work out. Use your imagination to your advantage.

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Speaker 3: So that's I was just sunshining and sunshine to.

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Speaker 2: Words.

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Speaker 4: So, Ray, you and I been trying to have this

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Speaker 4: conversation since when.

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Speaker 3: It's been a long long you had seen that we've

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Speaker 3: been trying to put this thing together. I looked at

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Speaker 3: my DM while we was out there since twenty twenty three. Wow,

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty three. Yeah, you DM me. Man, you said

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Speaker 3: some very kind words, and I appreciate you and I'm

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Speaker 3: glad we were finally able to make this happen. God's

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Speaker 3: timing is absolutely perfect, and I wouldn't want to be

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Speaker 3: on this couch with anybody else.

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Speaker 2: Man. Do you know why I reached out to you

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Speaker 2: back then? I don't.

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Speaker 4: So it was a post people were I didn't know

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Speaker 4: that you had started pursuing because y'all, how long ago

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Speaker 4: have y'all been dating?

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Speaker 2: I met her May twenty twenty three.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so it's around the time I reached out to you,

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Speaker 4: shortly around that time. But the truth is this one

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Speaker 4: of my biggest fears that I used to have. I've

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Speaker 4: been delivered from this since saying this so much. This

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Speaker 4: my podcast therapy. My biggest fear is to go through

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Speaker 4: all this work that I've gone through to take valves

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Speaker 4: with a woman and then not know the expiration date.

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Speaker 4: Of course we don't know, but that day come sooner

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Speaker 4: before we get into our old age.

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Speaker 2: That has That used to be my biggest fear.

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Speaker 4: I had a friend who got married in twenty twenty

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Speaker 4: and his wife passed away the next year, and I

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Speaker 4: was like, oh my god, now since then.

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Speaker 2: He's remarried, So here it is.

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Speaker 4: I saw you dating this amazing woman and people were

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Speaker 4: being negative, and I was like, what So if the

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Speaker 4: public had their timeline, when would they say it's okay

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Speaker 4: for you to start dating again.

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Speaker 3: If the public had their timeline, they would still want

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Speaker 3: me to be sad. They like, people got attached to

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Speaker 3: my grief. People got attached to me crying and being

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Speaker 3: sad and staying in yesterday. And they couldn't see past

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Speaker 3: that because people don't really make it out of grief.

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Speaker 3: People sometimes don't make it out of depression. So to

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Speaker 3: see me do it in such an elegant way.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it pissed people off. Ye. Unfortunately, you know what

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Speaker 2: fortunate because you see how good God is being in

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Speaker 2: my life.

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Speaker 3: Man, you have been faithful over a few I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: make you rule over many.

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Speaker 2: That's what God told me long time. Amen. Yeah, so

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Speaker 2: how did you deal with that?

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Speaker 4: Because here you are, you are dealing with the grief

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Speaker 4: of the loss of Well. Give people the backstore for

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Speaker 4: people that don't know. Yes, you were featured on Black

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Speaker 4: Love Powerful episode. Speak about that journey and introduce people

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Speaker 4: to who you are and what we're talking about.

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Speaker 2: Yes. Yes, so.

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Speaker 3: I was married before. I'm actually a widow. My late wife,

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Speaker 3: by the name of Rosalind Royal Singleton, passed away in

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Speaker 3: November November fifteenth, twenty twenty two, from glo blastoma multiforme

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Speaker 3: stage four brain cancer.

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Speaker 2: Our love had went viral. We had been on Ellen.

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Speaker 3: DeGeneres America's Got Talent Black Love, as you mentioned, show

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Speaker 3: after show, and after she had passed away, life got

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Speaker 3: crazy for me. I was here and there and people

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Speaker 3: were really really attached to our story while we're on

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Speaker 3: these shows. And when I decided to not only get

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Speaker 3: back in the dating world, but find someone who literally

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Speaker 3: restored my heart. When I shared that, just as I

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Speaker 3: shared everything else in my life, people had mixed feelings

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Speaker 3: about it.

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Speaker 2: And I'll tell you this.

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Speaker 3: At her funeral, her dad walked up to me and said,

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Speaker 3: you did right by my daughter. I didn't care about

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Speaker 3: nobody else's opinion after that that part he said you

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Speaker 3: did right by my daughter.

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Speaker 2: So anything that anybody had to say past that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh your head, it don't apply to me. I've

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Speaker 3: gotten the handshake from the guy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. What you say though, I mean you can say

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Speaker 2: it feel how you feel.

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Speaker 3: I'm a human, so like sometimes I'll see the hate

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Speaker 3: and like I used to care, right, but it don't

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Speaker 3: matter because your your motion ain't gonna stop mine.

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Speaker 2: Do you feel do you still feel the need to

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Speaker 2: respond when I have time? I don't know. So why

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Speaker 2: don't you have time? Man?

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Speaker 3: Because you think about the audacity of people, and people

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Speaker 3: like there be they're double minded.

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Speaker 2: They just say things.

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Speaker 3: So a lady emailed me and said, hadn't even haven't

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Speaker 3: even been a year yet, So okay, what what happens

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Speaker 3: on day three sixty six?

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Speaker 2: That was powerful to explain what you said on this like,

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Speaker 2: what what what happens? Are we still going to have

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Speaker 2: this conversation?

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Speaker 3: Grief has no time limit, but you didn't here my

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Speaker 3: DM talking about it hadn't been a year yet?

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Speaker 2: So which one is it? Man? Be blessed I hope

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Speaker 2: love finds you as it's found me. Come on, how

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Speaker 2: do you deal with that? Lexus?

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Speaker 4: Did you feel like that you have any people in

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Speaker 4: your circle that was saying and man, y'all moving too fast?

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Speaker 1: I never had anybody in my circle disagree.

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Speaker 5: And that's the thing.

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Speaker 1: It's never been anybody that knows us, that's in our family,

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Speaker 1: our friend's circle. They all have welcomed me with open

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Speaker 1: arms from his family and friends and vice versa.

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Speaker 5: It's been nothing but love.

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Speaker 1: It's always from the people that don't know us, have

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Speaker 1: never met us, Even people that don't even know my

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Speaker 1: backstory or my history anything about me that are drawing

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Speaker 1: conclusions of who they think we are based off of

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Speaker 1: social media, which I think gives a false perception. You

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Speaker 1: can see a video or a clip of somebody for

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Speaker 1: thirty seconds and you already have this thing in your

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Speaker 1: mind made up. Oh, this is who they are without

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Speaker 1: knowing anything or doing any research. So for me, initially,

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Speaker 1: it caught me off guard because he told me like.

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Speaker 7: Now.

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Speaker 5: That makes away? Is that fun? I just want you

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Speaker 5: to know.

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Speaker 2: That I knew it was coming. I knew it was,

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Speaker 2: but I did.

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Speaker 3: I did a photo shoot with with a girl just

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Speaker 3: for like a restaurant.

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Speaker 2: People under the who this woman? Who's that?

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Speaker 8: What?

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Speaker 3: And I was a photo shoot, so I knew, like

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Speaker 3: when I when I stepped out there, something was gonna happen. Now,

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Speaker 3: I didn't know to the degree it was. There's gossip pages.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy wild stuff.

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Speaker 2: Man, it's a song.

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Speaker 5: We are committed.

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Speaker 2: So how long did all? Right? Let's back up? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: how did y'all meet?

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Speaker 5: Do I get this? Share?

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Speaker 2: Please? So this story?

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Speaker 5: Thank you?

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Speaker 1: So shout out to mad Miles run Club and Charlotte,

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Speaker 1: North Carolina. If you don't know about it, go your

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Speaker 1: husband or wife might be waiting on you.

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Speaker 2: Man.

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Speaker 1: So we met up at a run club and I

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Speaker 1: had posted on my story that I was going to

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Speaker 1: be there. So Ray saw it and I'm pulling up

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Speaker 1: to go see her. I got to find her.

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Speaker 2: What you did?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because I've seen it on Instagram and I literally

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Speaker 3: from the one time I looked at the page, I

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Speaker 3: was like, I gotta find her. That's I don't I

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Speaker 3: don't know if I said that, because I did, and

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Speaker 3: she left me on wrath.

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Speaker 4: The conversation, so, so you was conversing back with him, it.

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Speaker 5: Was more hard eyes, thank you. It was more hard.

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Speaker 1: Eyes here and there and the story yeah, like stuff

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Speaker 1: like that, and then he had asked me out.

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Speaker 5: I didn't see it until the day that we met.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so he camera, that's my.

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Speaker 5: Story and speaking to it.

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Speaker 1: So he pulled up on me at mad Moss. I'm

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Speaker 1: talking with one of my friends, Bree, and he literally makes.

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Speaker 5: His way through the crowd. As we're talking, he.

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Speaker 1: Grabs my hand like this, I'm raised Singleton, It's nice

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Speaker 1: to finally meet you in person.

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Speaker 2: It walked away.

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Speaker 3: I walked and he just glimbing on across.

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00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:10,399
Speaker 5: Start dancing and doing this thing. I'm just like the

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Speaker 5: first thing in my mind, I said, who does he

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Speaker 5: think it? And then the second thing I said, I

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Speaker 5: mean I like that. Nobody like that. So I'm over

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Speaker 5: here like, oh you know who you are?

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay. After that, we didn't talk the whole time.

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Speaker 1: We ran, danced, all that good stuff. By the time

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Speaker 1: I get back to my car, I checked my d

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Speaker 1: MS and he d M me, so, on a chance

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Speaker 1: on the scale of one to ten, how likely is

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Speaker 1: it that I can take you to dinner?

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Speaker 3: And I was like, that was the message that got

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Speaker 3: left on red that was that was the message.

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Speaker 2: So when she went back to a d M. I said,

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Speaker 2: it was a pleasure to meet you. And then and

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Speaker 2: then she said, oh my god, I didn't see this, Nancy.

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Speaker 5: That's supposed to be me.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 7: Right, So she so the message and.

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Speaker 5: The rest was history. We went on our first date.

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Speaker 5: He showed up with flowers.

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Speaker 4: He said, on the scale of one to ten, what'd

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Speaker 4: you say?

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Speaker 2: What did I? I actually said, on the scale from

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Speaker 2: one to fifteen. Yeah, I gotta give yourself a little cushion.

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Speaker 3: Listen, I'm telling you to catch him off guard and

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Speaker 3: give you a cushion, right, so I said, on the

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Speaker 3: scale of one to fifteen. Her response was, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Depends on how much we how much I get to

396
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Speaker 3: know you. Then I said my number, I said, only

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Speaker 3: one way to do that.

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Speaker 2: We got hers yours.

399
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Speaker 5: Yeah, that one was in the house because of order.

400
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:43,280
Speaker 2: I like that.

401
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,359
Speaker 1: I like that, and literally after our first date we

402
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,399
Speaker 1: have been inseparable ever since.

403
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 2: What did you like about him?

404
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,879
Speaker 1: I love that he was exactly who he said he was,

405
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,760
Speaker 1: like everything that he described to me on who he

406
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 1: was from childhood to growing up, being so open with

407
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:05,400
Speaker 1: his emotions, he exuded that to my face. It's one

408
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,480
Speaker 1: thing for somebody to tell you who they are, and

409
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Speaker 1: then as things starting to go, here come the red flags. Here, girl,

410
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Speaker 1: I knew better. I didn't deal with any of that.

411
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Speaker 1: I didn't deal with any of that. The biggest thing,

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Speaker 1: I said, the biggest breakthrough for us was our second date.

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Speaker 5: We went to Chick fil A, my favorite place. We

414
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Speaker 5: went to Chick fil A.

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Speaker 1: We literally sat in Chick fil A and had the

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Speaker 1: most in depth conversation I have ever had on a date.

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Speaker 5: I'm talking we.

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Speaker 1: Both crying at Chick fil A, Like we had that

419
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Speaker 1: conversation of where are you mentally? What do you want

420
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Speaker 1: out of life? Yeah, because we had a conversation along

421
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 1: the lines of I was asking him, do you see

422
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 1: yourself getting married again? I understand, well, I don't understand

423
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 1: where you are, but I can only imagine emotionally, mentally, physically,

424
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Speaker 1: what do you see for yourself? And he straight up

425
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Speaker 1: told me, oh, I'm gonna be a baby daddy.

426
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,359
Speaker 2: And I was like.

427
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:07,360
Speaker 1: The hard I said real quick And I was like, okay,

428
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 1: I said, well, I love that for you. I said,

429
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 1: but I'm somebody's wife, I said, I want to be married.

430
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 1: I said, and if that's where you are, that's fine,

431
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 1: but that's not what I'm looking for.

432
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Speaker 5: So it was nice to get to know you.

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Speaker 1: We still had a friendly conversation after that, and I said,

434
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Speaker 1: you're not going to do that with me.

435
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 2: What do you mean when you said that you really

436
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 2: want to be a dad? I was. I was in

437
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Speaker 2: a place in my mind man like bro.

438
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, man, yeah, joined outside.

439
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:50,800
Speaker 3: That's but she she caused an interruption, and what I

440
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,679
Speaker 3: thought my plan was like the other women who like,

441
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 3: they didn't cause an interruption and what my plan was like,

442
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 3: they just kept no. I met her, She's like, no,

443
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 3: we're going this way, yes, ma'am. That's that's what I needed.

444
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 3: I needed someone to interrupt the plan that I thought

445
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Speaker 3: I had for myself.

446
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 2: And your plan you had was what not to.

447
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 3: Rich uncle baby daddy? Exactly what this woman and this woman, Yeah,

448
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,480
Speaker 3: that's that's what I saw.

449
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,479
Speaker 2: I was hurt, man, Yeah, I was hurt.

450
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 1: And I anticipated that, and I felt like one of

451
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 1: the biggest things that I want to express to women,

452
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 1: specifically ladies, stand on your beliefs and your morals. There

453
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,879
Speaker 1: it is because that is the first time that I

454
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 1: can be honest with myself and say that I stood

455
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,440
Speaker 1: on what I said I wanted and what God told

456
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 1: me to do, no matter who it was, no matter

457
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 1: what I wanted. God knows better than we do. So

458
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 1: when I stood on that, I didn't know what his

459
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 1: reaction would have been.

460
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:50,920
Speaker 5: He could have said all.

461
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:54,360
Speaker 1: Right, cool, onto the next and I kind of anticipated that.

462
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,439
Speaker 1: So when he called me what a week later and

463
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,400
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, No, I want to give

464
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 1: this a try. I really want to see what that

465
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 1: would look like, I said, well, I'm along for the

466
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 1: ride as long as you can be honest with me

467
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,879
Speaker 1: with your emotions where you stand.

468
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,360
Speaker 5: If you want to cry, call me.

469
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 1: I don't want you to feel like you have to

470
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 1: go to your homeboys, or your friends, or your family only.

471
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 1: I feel like people forget when you are dealing with

472
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 1: grief and you're trying to be in a relationship with

473
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 1: someone that's not just the person you're in a relationship with,

474
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 1: that's your friend too, So you have to show up

475
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 1: as such. I don't care if you just want to

476
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,160
Speaker 1: sit in silence and cry for thirty minutes, Yes, call

477
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: me to do that.

478
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:33,160
Speaker 5: I don't want you to.

479
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,880
Speaker 1: Have to call and do that with anybody else. And

480
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:43,640
Speaker 1: that's because that's the place that we.

481
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 2: Got to.

482
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:54,400
Speaker 1: Let me, let me, let me come on over here.

483
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:01,640
Speaker 4: How did that make you feel to hear her say that.

484
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,440
Speaker 3: That I wasn't gonna do that with her, to say

485
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,120
Speaker 3: that I wouldn't go and do that, for.

486
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,479
Speaker 4: Her to say, well, even that part, I'll start from

487
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 4: there first, for her to say.

488
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 3: That, that's that's when I knew she was the one,

489
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:16,360
Speaker 3: because no, no woman had stood on their morals like that,

490
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 3: and with with who I was at the time and

491
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,879
Speaker 3: all the attention I had, they were just trying to

492
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 3: be with me, just to be with me. And again

493
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,199
Speaker 3: the interruption and what I thought my plan was, she

494
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 3: stopped me on my tracks. And when I when I

495
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 3: realized that she truly cares about me. Dog, she she

496
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 3: cares about how I feel, what I'm doing, what's on

497
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 3: my mind?

498
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:41,919
Speaker 2: Uh? Did I do I need it?

499
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 3: If I'm getting up and she sees me going to

500
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 3: look something, she asked me, what you need? That's that's powerful,

501
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:52,919
Speaker 3: dog like and something like I gotta I gotta let

502
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 3: go of some of the stuff that I thought I

503
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 3: could handle by myself.

504
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like I gotta I gotta

505
00:24:58,280 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 2: partner again.

506
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:03,199
Speaker 3: It's it's a struggle of trying to do everything and said, no,

507
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 3: God sent you a help me.

508
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, so yeah, let's I told him I'm holding God

509
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 4: sent me help me man.

510
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:14,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, he'll do it.

511
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,680
Speaker 4: And so for her to save space for you, explain

512
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 4: to women how important that is to a man.

513
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 3: Ooh, it's to hold space for you.

514
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:26,880
Speaker 2: It is.

515
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 3: It is absolutely essential if your desires to be with

516
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 3: a man, it is absolutely essential that you saved space

517
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 3: for his mind, his mental.

518
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 2: Ask him how he doing, but truly cared.

519
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 3: Don't don't listen to respond, Listen to understand, like I

520
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 3: under I want to understand. I want to empathize and

521
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 3: truly let you know, Hey, I'm here to help you.

522
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 3: She she's never torn me down, she's never talked bad

523
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 3: about me.

524
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 2: She's never lied to me unless she was surprised me.

525
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 2: What up?

526
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,880
Speaker 5: Always that's the only time she is.

527
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,199
Speaker 2: She is made for me.

528
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 4: Lexus, you said you haven't always been like that. What

529
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 4: has your journey of singleness.

530
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 1: Been, TUXI, I've always been like the relationship type, being

531
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 1: in a relationship for a long time. So I've only

532
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:29,399
Speaker 1: been in two serious relationships outside of Ray, and going

533
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 1: through those was like a college love distance, growing apart,

534
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,919
Speaker 1: and then the last relationship feeling like oh okay, this

535
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 1: is going to go towards marriage, but not necessarily knowing

536
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 1: what he wanted. So as a woman, while you're trying

537
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 1: to navigate those waters on top of.

538
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 5: Your career because I was very career driven.

539
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,400
Speaker 1: Okay, former news personality for Fox forty six in Charlotte,

540
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,399
Speaker 1: and a lot of people didn't know my background either,

541
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:56,399
Speaker 1: So when it came to meeting.

542
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 5: Ray, a lot of people always the.

543
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:12,360
Speaker 1: Fame and I'm like, oh yeah, So I came from

544
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 1: the news industry. Was in the news industry for about

545
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 1: ten years give or take, so transitioning from that. I

546
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 1: was a go getter. So for me, my whole focus

547
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,920
Speaker 1: was work, what's next, Let's do it? So battling that

548
00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 1: and then dealing with a man that would degrade you

549
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 1: or undermine your value but only tell you your value

550
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 1: to you, but never anyone else.

551
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 5: It can take a toll on you.

552
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 1: It will make you question what you believe about yourself

553
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 1: and knowing what you deserve. So coming across Ray was

554
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: like night and day, Like I have never been a man.

555
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,120
Speaker 1: I have never met a man to literally be who

556
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 1: he told me he was. And every day Ray is

557
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:02,400
Speaker 1: exactly what y'all see. So the love and the tenderness

558
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:06,600
Speaker 1: and telling me how beautiful I am, those things matter,

559
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 1: especially when it's genuine. I've never had to tell Ray,

560
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,360
Speaker 1: why don't you call me? I've never had to ask Ray,

561
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,879
Speaker 1: why don't you text me? This man would send me

562
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: voice notes singing good morning to me to wake me up,

563
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: like I don't think people understand what that does to

564
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 1: a woman that feels like you have to say.

565
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:28,959
Speaker 5: Face and be hard.

566
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 1: And I genuinely am living in my soft woman era.

567
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: And I don't say soft girl because I'm not a girl.

568
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 1: We're grown my soft woman era. And I love that

569
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: I can be fully feminine. I can what do you need, honey?

570
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: I can cater and submit. That's a word that a

571
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: lot of women like to get upset about.

572
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 5: Submit.

573
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 1: You're in the position you're in because you don't want

574
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 1: to submit. That's what the Bible talks about. So you

575
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 1: need to submit. Come on, and I enjoy it. I

576
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 1: look forward to doing it. I look forward to what

577
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 1: do you me today? And transitioning from that, Ray reminds

578
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 1: me and shows me who I am every single day.

579
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 4: So Ray, can you take us to some of these

580
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 4: little voice memos she would get.

581
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 3: Get on.

582
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:19,960
Speaker 2: Good Morning Long.

583
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 9: It's my favorite love song Ladies O Night Long.

584
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 10: Every Yeah.

585
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 4: So how far we move when you met her? How

586
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 4: far was it after your wife's passing?

587
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 2: Six months? It was six months?

588
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 4: And so when did you decide the poster for the

589
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:50,960
Speaker 4: first time?

590
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 2: Oh? What was it? Uh? Was it up March March

591
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 2: or August? August? August? Okay, I want to say.

592
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 1: It was the d after you asked me to be

593
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 1: your girlfriend, because you had a show in Atlanta.

594
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 2: Yes, and to Atlanta yes.

595
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 3: So the day after I asked her to be my girlfriend,

596
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 3: we're sitting with sitting in Atlanta and we're sitting on

597
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 3: a balcony.

598
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 2: I'm like you ready.

599
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 1: He literally just I'm about to post you And I

600
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 1: just looked at him like what He was like, I want.

601
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 5: The world to know what I love.

602
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 1: Like that's what my page has always been, is I

603
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 1: show what I love and who I love is I

604
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 1: want the world to know who you are. And at

605
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 1: first I was just like wow, okay because for me

606
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: this is my first time also being loved out loud.

607
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 5: I've never been loved out loud. I've never say I

608
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,479
Speaker 5: have never been loved out loud.

609
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 1: I've never had a man want to say I want

610
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 1: to show you off to the world. Your reaction with me,

611
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 1: I'm sliding down the right now.

612
00:30:58,280 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 5: So when he said that, he was like, are you

613
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 5: ready now.

614
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: Of course we had no conversation about what it would

615
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 1: look like, how it would take off, So I'm just like, wow, okay.

616
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 1: My followers had never seen me post a man either.

617
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 5: No, never, So I.

618
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 4: Was like, why did you post a man me?

619
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 2: That's why why it was shut.

620
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 1: That's the answer, that's the answers.

621
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 4: And so when you did that, so how far was

622
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 4: that from your wife passed away and you post this

623
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 4: is my girlfriend?

624
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 2: How long? Eight months?

625
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 4: And so that's that's why the knee jerk reaction was

626
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 4: what it was, with people like, oh my god, we're

627
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 4: still grieving, and it's like, how in the world could

628
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 4: you move on so quick? How did you balance whether

629
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 4: you were trauma bonding as they would say, I'm going

630
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 4: through this trauma, I found somebody I can latch onto.

631
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 4: How did you differentiate that this wasn't that or was

632
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 4: it that? Until it became not that it obviously it

633
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 4: was never that.

634
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 3: Like literally when I when I tell you and I

635
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 3: tell everybody, this woman changed everything for me because again I.

636
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,240
Speaker 2: Stepped out there, put my toe in it, in the water, and.

637
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 3: Like nothing was, nothing was sticking, nothing, I was no

638
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 3: feelings like.

639
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 2: So I guess some of those that was.

640
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 3: But when I when I met her, Man, when when

641
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 3: when a man.

642
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 2: Finds a wife, he finds a good thing. And that's like,

643
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 2: you don't.

644
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 3: You don't find a wife when you after you say

645
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 3: I do you find her? Right then and there, that's

646
00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 3: my wife you found. All we got to do is

647
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 3: go through the formality. Yeah, but it's a feeling. Like

648
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 3: people ask me the prayer, I don't. God, God saw

649
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:13,480
Speaker 3: me what I needed and he saw what I did.

650
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 2: He said, IM gonna take care of you. So what

651
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 2: happened in that? That's that seven days?

652
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 4: That's seven days while you're vacillating from that conversation you

653
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 4: just had with her at Chick fil A, her saying

654
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 4: this is my standard, and then you calling her seven

655
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 4: days later?

656
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 2: What were you thinking in your mind?

657
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 3: I had already talked to my boys, and to be

658
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 3: completely honest with you, I had I had another situation.

659
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's street plans.

660
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 3: Yet I had this girl already coming in like so ooh,

661
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 3: And I was struggling with telling her because I had

662
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,959
Speaker 3: start to fall for it. But the girl was like

663
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 3: the was already bought. So I'm like, do I tell her?

664
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 3: Because we've been we've been texting every.

665
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 2: Day, calling, and this girl here the weekend.

666
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,920
Speaker 3: If I'm not texting her, if I'm not calling, I

667
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:11,920
Speaker 3: don't want to deal with that, So let me just

668
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 3: tell her what's going on.

669
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:13,840
Speaker 2: And I was honest with you.

670
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 3: I didn't think I was going to like you as

671
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 3: much as I did, and I gotta be honest with

672
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 3: you that I got I got someone coming, but I

673
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 3: really really like you. And uh, she she took it

674
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 3: good in my face, but apparently apparently she went home and.

675
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 1: Shout ahead of time, Okay, I'm gonna keep it all

676
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 1: the way. I kept it so cute in his face.

677
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 1: It was Mary, that's cool. You know I didn't expect

678
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,320
Speaker 1: you to not be I mean, look at you, I said,

679
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 1: but me too.

680
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 5: I mean, you know, I got some cleaning up to

681
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:52,839
Speaker 5: do too, So you know, I.

682
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 1: Said, I don't realize that's cool.

683
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 5: I completely understand. I appreciate you being honest.

684
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 1: We went and ate after him after he told me

685
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 1: we wouldn't ate, and then it started sinking in what

686
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 1: he said and I said, oh wait, no. He meant like,

687
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 1: I'm really about to be with somebody else all weekend.

688
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:16,879
Speaker 5: So I said, okay, cool. I got home. I'm so sad.

689
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,359
Speaker 1: Have a movie night with my younger sister. Come in,

690
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 1: close the door, go in my room. She said, oh

691
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,320
Speaker 1: my gosh, what is I said, I don't want to talk.

692
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 5: Ray got somebody else. It's a whole thing. And she

693
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 5: was like, well, you need to get it together.

694
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 1: And then my mom gave me some of the most

695
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 1: sound advice when I talked to her. My mom said,

696
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 1: how can you be upset? And fought this man for

697
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,800
Speaker 1: doing exactly what you asked and being honest with you.

698
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 1: Most men don't tell women what we claim we want

699
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: to hear for this reason, And I honestly had to

700
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 1: put my big girl panties on it and say, this

701
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 1: is a real man telling you what he's dealing with

702
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:59,800
Speaker 1: and being honest, versus lying to you disappearing all weekend

703
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 1: like you're used to. He's being upfront and honest. So

704
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 1: I said, it ain't nothing else I can do about that,

705
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 1: but be mature about it and respect it.

706
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,720
Speaker 3: And mature means going in her close friends and shaking

707
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 3: her booty the whole time.

708
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 2: So I can look at her.

709
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 3: You know, I was thinking about her.

710
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:20,879
Speaker 2: Now.

711
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, of course my friends.

712
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: Because I did not want to go out the whole weekend.

713
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, cool, I'm gonna let.

714
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:31,439
Speaker 5: Him do his thing.

715
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 1: So my friends were like, oh, we're coming in town,

716
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,400
Speaker 1: We're going out. You gotta look good. And I was like,

717
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 1: I ain't trying to be on that.

718
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 5: You know who I am. That was like, nah, he

719
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 5: needs to really know.

720
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 1: Put him in your friends, And I say, you know what,

721
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,399
Speaker 1: you why baby, I just got my hair done.

722
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 5: Let's do it. So we go out.

723
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 1: They said, put him in your close friends. I said, Ben,

724
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 1: I'm only posting my close friends.

725
00:36:52,560 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 10: I'm in my phone like this right, I'm running to

726
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 10: the back other morning.

727
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 5: Honey, I'm having a tongue. Well, I'm making it look

728
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 5: like I'm having a time.

729
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 1: So I'm out having a good time with my girls.

730
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,880
Speaker 1: So my friend was like, call him right now, and

731
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,839
Speaker 1: I was like, no, he out with her. Call him

732
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: just to see if he answered, I said, you know what,

733
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,280
Speaker 1: I like this energy.

734
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 5: Let's do it. I'm literally a con loud and a sweet.

735
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, I'm over here. I ain't want nothing. I

736
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 1: just wanted to see if you want answer. He was like, man,

737
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: don't do me like, don't like this.

738
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 5: I said, you did this to yourself? My girls?

739
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 2: All right? What was you doing? I'm in the car

740
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 2: and were driving.

741
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,840
Speaker 3: The first I think the first time she called, I

742
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 3: got the little joint where I already had her name saying.

743
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,800
Speaker 2: Up on the screen or her whole move change.

744
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 3: I tried to hit that, pissed off the rest of

745
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 3: the that the rest of the night, and dog watch

746
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 3: you as because I loved her.

747
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 1: Again because I literally told him, I said, well, I

748
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 1: appreciate you being honest. I'm a respected I'm gonna let

749
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: you do your thing because I know she ain't me,

750
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: So do your thing.

751
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 2: Come on.

752
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 5: When I called the answer and I said.

753
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,760
Speaker 11: Why the phone in front of the girl, I knew

754
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 11: that this was the one dog and like the thing

755
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 11: about it if you don't, if you don't move.

756
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 2: Like God asks you to move like, he'll start revealing things.

757
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:02,760
Speaker 3: So like when the girl was here, I started seeing

758
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 3: things that I didn't like about.

759
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 2: I started seeing things that I can't deal with that.

760
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 3: So God, in my flash, I was like, I still

761
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 3: got to make these plans, was all I got. I

762
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,280
Speaker 3: showed you your way, but you wanna be hardheaded, Let's

763
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 3: let me let me take you through it.

764
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,919
Speaker 2: And then he just started revenge. Okay, she don't. Yeah nah.

765
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 2: So literally, while I'm with her, all I could do

766
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,359
Speaker 2: was think about her answer the phone.

767
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 3: Literally we had a whole clowne and she's like, he

768
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 3: keep from the bathroom, somebody.

769
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 2: Stop calling, you know, Sunday taking home maybe a little

770
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,919
Speaker 2: two minutes. Yeah, I'm gay.

771
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 3: And I thought I was gonna lose her mm hmm.

772
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:58,359
Speaker 3: But like that was that was the thing I had

773
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,839
Speaker 3: to balance. And I guess when I initially told her

774
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 3: like I I was, I was that nervous because I

775
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:09,880
Speaker 3: thought I was going to lose her. So if that

776
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 3: were going to be the case, I was going to

777
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:13,960
Speaker 3: give her my best shot before she got out of here.

778
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 3: Like I like you, I look like, but I have

779
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 3: I got to tell you what's happening.

780
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:19,399
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something Ray.

781
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 4: And this is the reason why I said, I have

782
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 4: to apply honesty and transparency. I'm past honesty. I say,

783
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 4: honesty is telling the truth when I asked a question.

784
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:30,720
Speaker 4: Transparency is telling me what I don't even know to ask.

785
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 4: I desire transparency. So transparency is listen, I'm single. I

786
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 4: owe you anything. What I'm going to give you is

787
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 4: my transparency to say that, hey, I always want to

788
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 4: be upfront with you so that we could manage our

789
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 4: expectations and understand what it is and what it's not.

790
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:49,279
Speaker 4: And for him to be able to say, listen, I

791
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 4: had all this motion going on before I met you.

792
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 4: This is this is my life. It just so happened.

793
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,400
Speaker 4: I saw you on Instagram. I ran into you at

794
00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 4: a run club, So this is what it is. I'm

795
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 4: meeting you just like any other one, but that actually

796
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 4: like you. Hold on, this is crazy? Am I tripping?

797
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 4: Because maybe because I could be wrong about you, like

798
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 4: you could be really great and cool. I've only known

799
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 4: you for such a short period of time. I don't

800
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:19,799
Speaker 4: know who you are what you are. I know how

801
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:22,879
Speaker 4: I feel, though, but I kind of got a question

802
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,279
Speaker 4: my own feelings too. What I do know is this

803
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 4: sure thing that's coming through the next I don't know

804
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 4: what that is. And then in the process of it,

805
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,280
Speaker 4: the fact that standing truth and honesty and say, listen,

806
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 4: this is what it is, and the way you handle that.

807
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 4: I'm telling you, and I'm gonna put words in Ray's

808
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:48,239
Speaker 4: mouth that actually solidified even more you were to him

809
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:49,799
Speaker 4: because he had a conversation with you.

810
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,160
Speaker 2: She was like, she ain't tripping, she ain't great, she

811
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:53,839
Speaker 2: can handle this.

812
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 1: He said, Oh, Man, was hurt and getting ready to

813
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: tell you that. I kept going back and forth, but

814
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 1: I was like, I just gotta tell her. I said, Alessa,

815
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,920
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you did. I appreciate your honesty. I said,

816
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 1: no matter how my feelings may feel. Right now, you

817
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 1: have no idea what you did by telling me and

818
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 1: being honest that part you have revealed what can happen.

819
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:23,880
Speaker 1: Now it's up to me on how I react for

820
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 1: this to play out facts.

821
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 5: I said, so, and.

822
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,360
Speaker 4: Your mama said, that's the reason why it's always great

823
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:34,400
Speaker 4: to have wise counsel around because they understand. They're like, baby,

824
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:37,399
Speaker 4: you gotta be worried about what you don't know, because

825
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:39,879
Speaker 4: if this man is telling you the truth, you want

826
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 4: to cultivate that and foster that as long as possible,

827
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 4: because that's the beauty. That's what protects you once you

828
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 4: get married. And he y'all go through a rocky moment

829
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 4: in y'all's marriage, and then his eyes start turning towards

830
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 4: a woman. He said, Oh, before it goes anywhere, baby,

831
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 4: let me tell you something. Yeah, this is woman I

832
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 4: ran into at such and such, and I've always been

833
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,920
Speaker 4: honest with you. Now we're area, I'm gonna still be

834
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 4: honestly transparent with you. This woman right here, I feel

835
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:05,799
Speaker 4: a little weak in this area. I need you to

836
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 4: cover me in that. Baby, I got you. Thank you

837
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 4: for being honestly. Let's go ahead and put some boundaries

838
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:12,319
Speaker 4: around this. Let me pray for you, let me cover you,

839
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 4: let me I got you. I got you like cool.

840
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, And that's what mayor should

841
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 4: be about. Not like if I tell her she's gonna

842
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,279
Speaker 4: be tripping right, she gonna hold it over my head

843
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 4: like you're gonna weaponize my honesty the sword. If I

844
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,920
Speaker 4: was trying to hear that, you wouldn't know about it.

845
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,479
Speaker 4: When I was really trying to do something behind your back.

846
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:34,719
Speaker 4: I promise you you wouldn't know about it. I'm sitting

847
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 4: up for telling you. Hey, this is what it is,

848
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,279
Speaker 4: and you can choose any way to handle this, but

849
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 4: I gotta be free to least tell you, absolutely, tell

850
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:43,319
Speaker 4: you what's going on. That is a good man to

851
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:45,360
Speaker 4: operate like that.

852
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 2: That's a good man. But a lot of men don't

853
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:48,719
Speaker 2: operate like that.

854
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,320
Speaker 4: And then I used to always say, if you're a

855
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:58,800
Speaker 4: true player, you can tell the truth. Listen, this is

856
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 4: what I got, This is what I got going on on.

857
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:03,520
Speaker 4: What you're gonna do about it? She gotta because but

858
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 4: I learned that from a woman back in the day.

859
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,320
Speaker 4: A woman told me, if men just told me the truth,

860
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 4: that I can decide what I want to entertain. So

861
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 4: when a woman told me that years ago, I said, well,

862
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 4: I'm always telling.

863
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:18,800
Speaker 2: I'm dealing with this other chick. I'm dealing with you

864
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 2: want to be number three? So what you want to

865
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:24,839
Speaker 2: do with that? Want know what? That's what time?

866
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 3: Whatever?

867
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:29,360
Speaker 2: It's like, I'm telling you honesty.

868
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,320
Speaker 4: They used to say, honesty is the best policy.

869
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 2: It really is. You don't understand until you put it

870
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 2: into the application.

871
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:36,920
Speaker 4: Ever, and if she says no, I just don't want

872
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,799
Speaker 4: to do with that, all right, cool, Just like you said,

873
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:40,840
Speaker 4: I'm just looking at be a baby dadd here that.

874
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 2: I'm a wife, thank you.

875
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 4: So we're miss aligned to this. And if you want

876
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 4: to be a baby daddy, that's not what I want.

877
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,360
Speaker 4: And go keep that energy. And you're sitting there like

878
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 4: hold on.

879
00:44:57,080 --> 00:45:04,879
Speaker 2: Usually working with.

880
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:12,360
Speaker 3: She was solid, man and who she was and you

881
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 3: could feel it. She didn't have to tell me who

882
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 3: she was. I felt who she was. Man, What did

883
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 3: you like about her in those two dates? But her

884
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,719
Speaker 3: personality is out of this out of this world. We

885
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 3: can hear what twenty something minutes and everybody like, her

886
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 3: personality is out of this world. She's god fearing, comes

887
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 3: from a good family, she can sing, she's she's drop

888
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 3: dead beautiful. Oh man, she's she's a nurturer, bro Like,

889
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 3: I feel her love. She doesn't just tell me that.

890
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 3: I feel that she loves me and cares about me.

891
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 3: And that is a rare, rare thing to find. And

892
00:45:57,640 --> 00:45:59,959
Speaker 3: if you got it, hold on tight. Please you said

893
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,280
Speaker 3: beauty later.

894
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 4: And most women believe that beauty is what makes a

895
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 4: man marry a woman. I've heard women say that they

896
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 4: be like, oh, I mean, man, just caught up and

897
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 4: looks and all that. Why does beauty come down the

898
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:16,600
Speaker 4: down the path man.

899
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 2: That came.

900
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,839
Speaker 3: That came with wisdom because because the pretty girl drive

901
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:33,319
Speaker 3: you crazy? Pretty woman drive me crazy? So that fell

902
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:36,399
Speaker 3: that fell down my priority. Listen a long time.

903
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:38,440
Speaker 1: I don't want to look at picture all day that

904
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:41,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to listen to bring me you canna

905
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:41,439
Speaker 1: be fine?

906
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 5: All you want? Drive me crazy?

907
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 3: Can I go to church with you? Can I bring

908
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 3: you around my friends and my family and my work,

909
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 3: my coworkers and my boss, Like, can can you be

910
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 3: who I need you to be? Forget a pretty face?

911
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 3: We can touch that up on Instagram?

912
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 2: Can you bring me peace? If I want to go

913
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:10,400
Speaker 2: to sleep? Can you help me?

914
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 4: Can you help me do that? If I want to

915
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:22,760
Speaker 4: go to sleep? Can you help me do that?

916
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 2: And so what is?

917
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:30,800
Speaker 4: It seems like y'all are like each other's best friend.

918
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 4: Y'all laugh with each other, y'all crack up, y'all have

919
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:35,439
Speaker 4: these moments of just y'all?

920
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 2: Just would you say that you can just tell him anything?

921
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:42,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so hard when it's time to surprise him

922
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:43,400
Speaker 1: with something.

923
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 5: Because I tell him everything.

924
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 1: When I tell you the struggle bus be real Because

925
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 1: Ray is the first person that I think of when

926
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 1: something exciting happens, or I get a brand new idea,

927
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:58,880
Speaker 1: I run to Ray So when I want to surprise

928
00:47:58,920 --> 00:47:59,879
Speaker 1: him with stuff and I'm like.

929
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 5: Oh, no, no, no, I can't tell.

930
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 2: I can't tell.

931
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:05,759
Speaker 1: Like with his birthday, Oh my gosh, a struggle because

932
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:09,360
Speaker 1: I'm big on birthday, so playing trips and taking the

933
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:10,920
Speaker 1: places and he don't know nothing.

934
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 5: I'd be like, like, is you almost thought on you.

935
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 2: Real real quick.

936
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,800
Speaker 3: On the birthday, I got a shout out with my wife.

937
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 3: My favorite artist is John Legend.

938
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,920
Speaker 2: Y'all, I don't know if you follow me. I know

939
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 2: all his songs.

940
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 3: She got with the help of the vet Nicole Brown,

941
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:28,160
Speaker 3: Love you girl.

942
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 2: She got John Legend to sing Happy Birthday to me.

943
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:36,800
Speaker 2: Wow wow. It still depended on my on my Instagram.

944
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 2: Ba wow. She got John Legend, my favorite artist, to

945
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 2: sing a birthday to thank you.

946
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 3: He did this big one when he said he gonna

947
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:48,839
Speaker 3: make you the head and not to tell. Come on,

948
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:50,840
Speaker 3: when he said he gonna make you the first and

949
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:54,759
Speaker 3: not the last. Please believe it, Please believe it.

950
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 2: Gave you beautiful ass man. Come on, brother, come on brother.

951
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 2: It was something so power befo.

952
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:02,920
Speaker 4: I saw one of the videos I watched research and y'all,

953
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:07,240
Speaker 4: what did you do to honor his late wife?

954
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:11,719
Speaker 1: So for the one year passing, I decided I kept

955
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 1: asking him. As the tom was getting closer, I was like,

956
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 1: you know what, honey, what do you want to do?

957
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 1: I'm here for you. This isn't about anybody else but you.

958
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,839
Speaker 1: You were in the relationship, you spent those hours in time.

959
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 1: How do you want to celebrate her memory? So we

960
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:30,680
Speaker 1: kept going back and forth on trying to debate what

961
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 1: he wanted to do. He was like, you know, I

962
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 1: think I just want to do an intimate balloon release.

963
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,800
Speaker 1: So I said, okay, we can do that. I decided

964
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:38,440
Speaker 1: to take it a step further and reach out to

965
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:41,520
Speaker 1: his mom. So I had his mom surprise him from Charleston.

966
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:45,319
Speaker 1: She came in to Charlotte. Yeah, so I said, I

967
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,440
Speaker 1: want to make today full of love for you. So

968
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:50,719
Speaker 1: I decided to take him to breakfast to one of

969
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 1: his favorite spots, which is also a spot that him

970
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:54,760
Speaker 1: and Roz used.

971
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 5: To enjoy going to. His mom surprised him at the restaurant.

972
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:00,719
Speaker 5: So I'm sitting here, Oh, I got to take a

973
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:01,360
Speaker 5: call real.

974
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 1: Quick, go outside to get his mom comeing in surprise him.

975
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 1: He cries at breakfast. We leave breakfast, I go to

976
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 1: Party City to get the balloons for the balloon release.

977
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:13,160
Speaker 1: All the things took him to the gun range. I

978
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:14,799
Speaker 1: was like, I want you to do things that help

979
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 1: you relax, you know, to enjoy the day. So after

980
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:21,279
Speaker 1: we did that, he wrote a nice love letter, an

981
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 1: intimate letter on the balloon. We went to a not

982
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,440
Speaker 1: even a park really, so it's right down the street

983
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 1: from where he lived at the time. It was like

984
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:34,640
Speaker 1: an open pond, had prayer and just sat in silence,

985
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 1: and I said, honey, this time is for you to

986
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 1: do what you need, but I'm here for you, and

987
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 1: I let him have his moment, his time.

988
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 5: To do whatever he wanted to do.

989
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,400
Speaker 1: Whatever he said during his prayer, released the balloon and

990
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 1: we literally just watched it. His mom took some pictures

991
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:54,600
Speaker 1: and videos from behind us and just prayed, really prayed

992
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:56,400
Speaker 1: over that, because I feel like when.

993
00:50:56,280 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 5: People see grief, they forget grief doesn't have a day.

994
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:04,880
Speaker 1: So I knew going into this, which is why I

995
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:08,840
Speaker 1: stress the importance of tell me what you need, even

996
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:11,920
Speaker 1: if that's alone time, quiet, Tom. I just want to cry,

997
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,239
Speaker 1: even if it's toime. You just want to reflect and

998
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 1: laugh about her or remember the times that y'all had.

999
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 1: That matters when you're entering into a relationship with someone

1000
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:24,479
Speaker 1: that has lost someone, because I tell him all the time,

1001
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 1: I could not imagine what you went through, and not

1002
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:31,239
Speaker 1: only just the experience, but at the age that you were.

1003
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 1: He was very young in his twenties to experience something

1004
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 1: like that. I don't know anybody, let alone a man. Yeah,

1005
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:44,359
Speaker 1: to go through something that traumatic and not just experience it,

1006
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:47,840
Speaker 1: but in front of the world, to see you handled

1007
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 1: it with grace and seeing that in him being so

1008
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:56,239
Speaker 1: transparent and where he was emotionally, All I wanted to

1009
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 1: do was just be there and love on you. So

1010
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 1: I didn't look at it as a let me be

1011
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 1: your therapist and tell you what to do. I can't

1012
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:05,640
Speaker 1: tell you what to do. I've never lived in I've

1013
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 1: never been in those shoes. All I can do is

1014
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 1: love on you and be here for when you need me.

1015
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 1: So I took it upon myself to just make it

1016
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,480
Speaker 1: a day of love and do whatever his heart desire.

1017
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 2: Who told you do that, Lexus?

1018
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 4: It would have to be because if you were immaturity emostly,

1019
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 4: you wouldn't your immaturity would get in a way of

1020
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 4: you being a wife.

1021
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:33,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me help you understand that. Help me, Holy Spirit.

1022
00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 4: Your immaturity could prevent you from showing up as a

1023
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 4: wife that little girl, that little broken girl who always

1024
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:47,279
Speaker 4: was mishandled by relationships with men. Then you'd be like, now,

1025
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:52,319
Speaker 4: I'm not finna prioritize another woman over what I'm trying

1026
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:54,360
Speaker 4: to build with him. I don't want him focus on

1027
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 4: what he had with some other woman over what I'm

1028
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:01,439
Speaker 4: trying to build with him. And that's why I say immaturity,

1029
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:04,960
Speaker 4: because maturity is if you can show up in a

1030
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 4: place where you can give him space and grace in

1031
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:15,359
Speaker 4: this area and allow him to celebrate a love that

1032
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 4: was taken away from him without you internalizing it as

1033
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:22,279
Speaker 4: looking at you as something less than or whatnot, then

1034
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 4: it creates a greater bond with you. Gosh, it's so

1035
00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 4: this is so important because I had an episode with

1036
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 4: Shavonne and Cheyenne and something similar where he ended up

1037
00:53:35,280 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 4: getting a tattoo of his wife.

1038
00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 2: Didn't you get tattooed? Yeah, the tattoo. We got these together.

1039
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,319
Speaker 2: It's eleven or four when we got married. And then

1040
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:46,719
Speaker 2: this she had this on her hand, and then I

1041
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:48,040
Speaker 2: got this after she passed.

1042
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:53,880
Speaker 4: Away, and Chavon went with her now her husband to

1043
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:57,000
Speaker 4: get a tattoo of his wife's, of his late wives.

1044
00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 4: It was something that he got tattooed, and people like, uh,

1045
00:53:59,360 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 4: that couldn't be me.

1046
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 1: And I want to say something. I'm so glad you

1047
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 1: say that. To the people that say it couldn't be me,

1048
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 1: You're right, And that's exactly why it's not you. That's

1049
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:13,839
Speaker 1: exactly why y'all love to say what you would do

1050
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,879
Speaker 1: and I would react this way, which is why you're

1051
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 1: not in the situation. And God didn't put you in

1052
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:21,759
Speaker 1: that place or in that season. It's because you would

1053
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:24,319
Speaker 1: mishandle it. So a lot of times we like to say,

1054
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:26,840
Speaker 1: oh girl, he mishandled me. Okay, well you've mishandled a

1055
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: good man too. We need to take accountability there it

1056
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:33,239
Speaker 1: is and see ourselves. There's always room for growth, there's

1057
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:36,359
Speaker 1: always room to be better. And I feel as though

1058
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,879
Speaker 1: because of the way that Ray exuded himself, he didn't

1059
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 1: hide anything about his situation from me. How could I

1060
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 1: not want to be there for you and just love

1061
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 1: you through that. People love to assume that there's a comparison,

1062
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:55,040
Speaker 1: and I'm like, there's nothing to compare. We're not talking

1063
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 1: about an ex girlfriend, We're not talking about a situation.

1064
00:54:58,800 --> 00:54:59,440
Speaker 2: This was his.

1065
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:05,520
Speaker 1: And there is a certain covenant between him and her

1066
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:08,960
Speaker 1: and the Lord that is sacred. So I'm going to

1067
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:12,920
Speaker 1: usher into that with the utmost care. I don't need

1068
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 1: to know every single detail and everything that happened.

1069
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:21,359
Speaker 5: It was still a marriage. This ain't no high school relationship.

1070
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 1: Okay, well tell me I don't need to know. I

1071
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 1: know how you felt, I know how you loved, and

1072
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:32,120
Speaker 1: that's all that matters. There's no comparison. We are two

1073
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:33,480
Speaker 1: completely different people.

1074
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:35,000
Speaker 5: And for anyone that.

1075
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 1: Feels the need to feel compared or feel a way

1076
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:41,040
Speaker 1: about someone that.

1077
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 5: Is on with the Lord, your mind is in the

1078
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 5: wrong place.

1079
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:46,839
Speaker 1: You are focused on the wrong thing, which is why

1080
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:49,360
Speaker 1: God is not going to bless you with your more

1081
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:51,959
Speaker 1: is because you're stuck and focused on the least.

1082
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:54,040
Speaker 5: That doesn't matter.

1083
00:55:55,040 --> 00:56:02,360
Speaker 2: That doesn't matter. I think Lexis has a whole women's ministry.

1084
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 5: You whatever you say, I'm gonna do walk in ministry

1085
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 5: every day.

1086
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:10,440
Speaker 2: Right.

1087
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 4: How did you How did you feel having her show

1088
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 4: up for you like this.

1089
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 2: One? Because I can't imagine what was going on in

1090
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:23,000
Speaker 2: your mind. I was.

1091
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:26,279
Speaker 3: I was blown away. Man, it's hard to put it

1092
00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:31,279
Speaker 3: into words. I'm better at putting it into tears and

1093
00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 3: just cry and saying thank you God. But uh, I

1094
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:37,600
Speaker 3: said something on my live I think it was like

1095
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:38,600
Speaker 3: two three weeks ago.

1096
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 2: Uh, and it just like jumped out of me.

1097
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:46,319
Speaker 3: I'm no longer surprised when God blesses me because I

1098
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,560
Speaker 3: know the life I'm living. I know what i'm I

1099
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 3: know the work i'm doing. I know that the people

1100
00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:53,759
Speaker 3: I'm helping. And God said, try me and see if

1101
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 3: I will not open you the windows of heaven. God,

1102
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 3: I'm doing what you're asking me to do. You ain't

1103
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:02,720
Speaker 3: never lied to me before, so I know some blessings coming.

1104
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 3: So when I recognize it, that's why that's why I

1105
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 3: appreciate it. I protect it, I love on it, I

1106
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:11,880
Speaker 3: share it. I can't keep it unless I give it away.

1107
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:16,800
Speaker 3: So like I was just in awe of God, thank you.

1108
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:19,360
Speaker 3: In a time where I could be said I could

1109
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:24,480
Speaker 3: be crying sad tears, I'm crying tears of joy.

1110
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:27,480
Speaker 2: What are some things that you have?

1111
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 4: You had to walk through some things with Lexus in

1112
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:31,440
Speaker 4: these last couple of.

1113
00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:41,760
Speaker 3: Years, initially when when the hateful comments started. And I

1114
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 3: also want to say shout out to everybody who's showed

1115
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:48,680
Speaker 3: us nothing but love and support and congratulatories.

1116
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 2: Like thank you, thank you.

1117
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:53,000
Speaker 3: We don't want to give the squeaky wheel the grease,

1118
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 3: but you know what I'm saying, But.

1119
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:58,040
Speaker 2: The hate is what we're going to talk about right now.

1120
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:01,720
Speaker 3: I I had to. I had to try my best

1121
00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 3: to shield her from it and ask her how like

1122
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:07,440
Speaker 3: how it was making her.

1123
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:12,760
Speaker 2: Feel, and then just reassure, like to take all that stuff.

1124
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:14,120
Speaker 3: With a grain of salt, because none of those people

1125
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:17,960
Speaker 3: knew me, you know what I'm saying, So like walking

1126
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:20,960
Speaker 3: through that making sure she feels unique, like this is

1127
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:25,960
Speaker 3: a unique love special knowing that I care about her heart,

1128
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 3: her mind, her family, just just letting her know I

1129
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 3: am here.

1130
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 2: That's a hard thing to balance.

1131
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 4: How do you balance making this love unique when the

1132
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:44,680
Speaker 4: past love was so.

1133
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 2: Promoted it was.

1134
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 3: So it feels so promoted because most people just don't

1135
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:55,720
Speaker 3: live the way like that. Like just like Lexis said earlier,

1136
00:58:56,040 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 3: I share everything that I love, so it's it's still unique,

1137
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:04,760
Speaker 3: It's just a different variation of it. Chocolate ice cream

1138
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 3: and vanilla ice cream, both ice cream. You know what

1139
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 3: I'm saying, like and it doesn't take away from from

1140
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 3: one another. I love this woman uniquely. I love this

1141
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 3: woman genuinely. I know that God blessed me with her.

1142
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 3: That's all I'm focused on, man, just just nurturing this woman.

1143
00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 2: This relationship. Is she gonna give me some some some baby.

1144
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:27,760
Speaker 2: This is gonna be a legacy that's gonna be built here.

1145
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:30,120
Speaker 2: So I got to put all my stuff in.

1146
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:32,800
Speaker 3: I got I gotta give my best every day, and

1147
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:34,640
Speaker 3: even when I'm not my best, I still got to

1148
00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:34,960
Speaker 3: show up.

1149
00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:49,360
Speaker 5: I trust you, go right now, right now.

1150
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 1: And you know it's It's funny how God works. I

1151
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:56,040
Speaker 1: feel like God has a sense of humor. You don't

1152
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 1: realize how he prepares you until he reveals what he

1153
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 1: had been working on all along. So the reason I

1154
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:05,360
Speaker 1: had brought up my news background was because I was

1155
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 1: a very.

1156
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:07,680
Speaker 5: Private person before I met Ray.

1157
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:10,840
Speaker 1: So the only thing on my platform was work related

1158
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:13,080
Speaker 1: or just being out and about being a girl.

1159
01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:16,520
Speaker 5: That was it. So when it came to the hate,

1160
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:17,680
Speaker 5: I had.

1161
01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:21,080
Speaker 1: Already known how to deal with that because of my

1162
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:25,800
Speaker 1: news background. You can't appease everybody. Everyone has an opinion.

1163
01:00:26,320 --> 01:00:27,960
Speaker 1: You can tell them it's going to rain today and

1164
01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:29,120
Speaker 1: they gonna look at you in your.

1165
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 5: Face and say you're a liar. So dealing with it.

1166
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:37,040
Speaker 5: So dealing with that.

1167
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 1: Even before meeting and knowing Ray, I had already had

1168
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 1: it in my mind. I've always been a person that

1169
01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:48,760
Speaker 1: did not care about others opinions. I was a news reporter,

1170
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 1: so I first started out as an assignment editor confirming

1171
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:53,680
Speaker 1: breaking news, and then I leveled up and got two

1172
01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:56,760
Speaker 1: of my own segments called Charlotte Alive and Local, and

1173
01:00:56,760 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 1: then I created my own coming out of the pandemic.

1174
01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:01,560
Speaker 1: I wanted people to be able to experience fun things

1175
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:04,160
Speaker 1: they could still do safely, so that was called the

1176
01:01:04,240 --> 01:01:07,480
Speaker 1: Charlotte Checklist. So I was the producer. I did all

1177
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:08,400
Speaker 1: the things on the one.

1178
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:12,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so you get you'll get negative stuff from that.

1179
01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:17,320
Speaker 1: Oh, people always got to Yes, her nail's too long, child,

1180
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:19,640
Speaker 1: don't email me because your husband watching the movies.

1181
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:24,040
Speaker 5: He should come on. I don't got nothing with your household. Girl,

1182
01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 5: Is you gonna come in here and buy.

1183
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:26,480
Speaker 2: This or not?

1184
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:28,440
Speaker 5: That's what I'm worried about.

1185
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:38,840
Speaker 1: Okay, So I've dealt with emails, Facebook comings. I said, child,

1186
01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:40,160
Speaker 1: don't care nothing about that.

1187
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:42,880
Speaker 5: Did you like my dress today?

1188
01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:44,480
Speaker 1: Sally Sally?

1189
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:49,400
Speaker 5: Sally Man was cute or not? So when it came

1190
01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:51,760
Speaker 5: down to stuff like that, had already been.

1191
01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:55,280
Speaker 7: Like, y'all really didn't know who I was because I

1192
01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:59,320
Speaker 7: don't care about none of this because it was never

1193
01:01:59,400 --> 01:02:02,480
Speaker 7: that from the closest to and that's what mattered.

1194
01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:03,840
Speaker 2: Are the people close to you?

1195
01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, and so it never mattered.

1196
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:07,360
Speaker 1: We just look at it a lot of times, we

1197
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:10,720
Speaker 1: scrolling through it, laughing about it, like the.

1198
01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:14,400
Speaker 5: It blows my mind the stories.

1199
01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:16,320
Speaker 2: The imagination people come up.

1200
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:19,880
Speaker 1: With they think happened, or what they think is going on,

1201
01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, y'all are hilarious, crazy.

1202
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:24,680
Speaker 2: What they think happened.

1203
01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:32,560
Speaker 3: Oh, child, you think before in the background, And I'm.

1204
01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:34,760
Speaker 5: Just like research people.

1205
01:02:34,800 --> 01:02:37,960
Speaker 1: First of all, we had one time we were in

1206
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:40,160
Speaker 1: the grocery store. This guy came up to us and

1207
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:42,680
Speaker 1: was like, oh, y'all look so familiar.

1208
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:44,560
Speaker 5: I think I met you all of you. I said,

1209
01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:53,479
Speaker 5: don't start that roomor sir like that we joke about

1210
01:02:53,480 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 5: because please don't start that. They look like, Okay, We're like.

1211
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:13,160
Speaker 1: No, sir, absolutely not, honey. But yeah, all kinds of things.

1212
01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:17,120
Speaker 1: And then from me having my news background, people assumed, oh, well,

1213
01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 1: you had to have known him and their story because

1214
01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:22,680
Speaker 1: you worked in this. And I'm like, y'all don't understand

1215
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:26,880
Speaker 1: how news works. There are fifty millions of stories that

1216
01:03:26,920 --> 01:03:29,400
Speaker 1: come in day in and day out on a regular basis.

1217
01:03:29,960 --> 01:03:30,960
Speaker 5: It didn't work like that.

1218
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:34,280
Speaker 1: And that's why I always speak of the importance of

1219
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:36,920
Speaker 1: people knowing that our relationship is God ordained.

1220
01:03:37,520 --> 01:03:40,000
Speaker 5: No one put us together but the Lord.

1221
01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:43,440
Speaker 1: And I know people want to say nice things and

1222
01:03:43,480 --> 01:03:46,200
Speaker 1: comment nice things that they think sounds good, but we

1223
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:48,680
Speaker 1: have to be careful with our words and who we

1224
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:52,000
Speaker 1: give power and authority to. No one put us together

1225
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:56,400
Speaker 1: but God. Roz is resting peacefully with the Lord without

1226
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:57,400
Speaker 1: a care in the world.

1227
01:03:58,680 --> 01:04:01,120
Speaker 4: Wouldn't it wouldn't be funny to know if you if

1228
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:03,200
Speaker 4: you had, if we had the power to talk to her,

1229
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:04,680
Speaker 4: And Rob said, I'm not going to hook that up,

1230
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:09,880
Speaker 4: like no.

1231
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:14,720
Speaker 11: No, nobody knows.

1232
01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:14,080
Speaker 2: Exactly based on.

1233
01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:19,360
Speaker 5: To me about who she is. I said, ain't no

1234
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:22,520
Speaker 5: way y'all can really believe crazy.

1235
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:31,240
Speaker 1: Now, because I wouldn't say that sen him up here

1236
01:04:31,280 --> 01:04:31,560
Speaker 1: with me?

1237
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 4: What about what did my fiance say that what I

1238
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:39,200
Speaker 4: was saying, I was an interview all time. I'm telling you,

1239
01:04:39,240 --> 01:04:44,920
Speaker 4: if something happened to me, I'm I'm a I'm a hont.

1240
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:45,800
Speaker 5: I'm sorry.

1241
01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:55,320
Speaker 6: Knowing that exactly right, right right right when you hot

1242
01:04:55,360 --> 01:05:00,600
Speaker 6: her one hundred one thousand percent, I mean, ain't gonna

1243
01:05:00,600 --> 01:05:01,720
Speaker 6: be getting no action on the mine.

1244
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:03,080
Speaker 2: It's over. It's over.

1245
01:05:03,440 --> 01:05:05,360
Speaker 5: I told him. I said, that's fine. I'm all right, Lord,

1246
01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:17,440
Speaker 5: So what we're doing, my husband is gone immediately, immediately.

1247
01:05:17,800 --> 01:05:23,880
Speaker 4: So gosh, y'all dated for how long before y'all got married?

1248
01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:24,840
Speaker 2: A year?

1249
01:05:25,600 --> 01:05:28,880
Speaker 1: He proposed on our one years, one year, and then

1250
01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:32,560
Speaker 1: got married the day before our two years.

1251
01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:36,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, the venue is cheaper.

1252
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:45,880
Speaker 5: We're still celebrating on the sixteen. Everybody, Oh you're not married.

1253
01:05:46,320 --> 01:05:50,160
Speaker 5: Maybe all the coldes are eight sixteen. We're gonna keep

1254
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:51,640
Speaker 5: eight sixteen, all right.

1255
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:56,720
Speaker 1: Pray Lord got I still sixteen and.

1256
01:05:59,360 --> 01:05:59,959
Speaker 2: This is the sixth.

1257
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:02,040
Speaker 5: We appreciate it, but we're celebrating on the sixteen.

1258
01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:06,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, so y'all got so, y'all actual wedding day was

1259
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:07,120
Speaker 4: on fifteen.

1260
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:11,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's when my grandbaby was born. Oh, come on, grandmady.

1261
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:15,240
Speaker 4: August August to fifteenth you're a granddad. I'm a granddad.

1262
01:06:16,120 --> 01:06:20,600
Speaker 2: What is grandfatherhood? Yeah? Does that work? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

1263
01:06:20,760 --> 01:06:22,880
Speaker 2: grandfather Well that's the work.

1264
01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:25,400
Speaker 4: It just it feels so great because my daughter, she's

1265
01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:29,200
Speaker 4: been married for three years to her high school sweetheart,

1266
01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:33,400
Speaker 4: moved them to college together. And I don't even look

1267
01:06:33,440 --> 01:06:35,000
Speaker 4: at that as like my son in law.

1268
01:06:35,080 --> 01:06:35,640
Speaker 2: That's my son.

1269
01:06:36,080 --> 01:06:39,200
Speaker 4: And so it's just been beautiful because the journey was

1270
01:06:39,240 --> 01:06:42,600
Speaker 4: such a struggle and like, I'm gonna have her come

1271
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:43,880
Speaker 4: on there and she can share own story. But it

1272
01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:48,919
Speaker 4: was a struggle and conceiving and my granddaughter was born

1273
01:06:48,960 --> 01:06:52,520
Speaker 4: a month early. It's supposed to be born. This month

1274
01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 4: came August to fifteenth. They induced labor and she was born.

1275
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:01,280
Speaker 4: They said, we can get it to this next day,

1276
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:03,680
Speaker 4: then we're good. She want to have to spend time

1277
01:07:03,720 --> 01:07:04,680
Speaker 4: and NICKI or whatever.

1278
01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:06,240
Speaker 2: It should be good. And so.

1279
01:07:07,920 --> 01:07:10,160
Speaker 4: That day they passed that, and then the next day

1280
01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:16,440
Speaker 4: later by Clara Elizabeth Claire.

1281
01:07:15,480 --> 01:07:25,920
Speaker 2: Elizabeth nice old white name Claren get Clara read all

1282
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:26,560
Speaker 2: the way through that.

1283
01:07:30,760 --> 01:07:32,840
Speaker 4: Like wow, I said, yeah, I told my y'all picked

1284
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:34,280
Speaker 4: the whitest name y'all can find her.

1285
01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:36,920
Speaker 2: She was like, we just liked the name. It sounds

1286
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:40,400
Speaker 2: very regal, I said, somebody was on the cl.

1287
01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:50,439
Speaker 1: Clara Claire Claire.

1288
01:07:51,520 --> 01:07:59,000
Speaker 5: Clar're gonna said, Hilaria.

1289
01:07:59,040 --> 01:08:01,000
Speaker 4: So y'all got married the same day, even though y'all

1290
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:04,920
Speaker 4: are claiming the day after. Yeah, So what has marriage

1291
01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:05,439
Speaker 4: taught y'all?

1292
01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:11,439
Speaker 1: Communication is key, communication and making time for each other.

1293
01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:15,840
Speaker 1: Do not let the work week and and just life.

1294
01:08:16,479 --> 01:08:18,840
Speaker 1: Don't let that change what made you fall in love?

1295
01:08:20,040 --> 01:08:21,200
Speaker 1: That's what it's taught me so far.

1296
01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:23,280
Speaker 2: What about you? Right? What is it taught you? Uh?

1297
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:27,360
Speaker 3: This life thing ain't that hard, man, Love ain't hard,

1298
01:08:30,920 --> 01:08:33,479
Speaker 3: like it's It's literally been one of the easiest things

1299
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:36,560
Speaker 3: to do. I don't have to I literally don't have

1300
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:39,759
Speaker 3: to put on I don't have to become a different person.

1301
01:08:39,960 --> 01:08:43,560
Speaker 3: I wake up authentically and I'm loved authentically.

1302
01:08:43,880 --> 01:08:46,759
Speaker 2: So now all I'm doing is just just pooring porn?

1303
01:08:46,800 --> 01:08:47,160
Speaker 2: How okay?

1304
01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:49,600
Speaker 3: How how can we be more happy? How can we

1305
01:08:49,760 --> 01:08:51,800
Speaker 3: add some more spontaneity to it?

1306
01:08:52,120 --> 01:08:55,160
Speaker 2: Like? How how can I learn her more? Oh?

1307
01:08:55,320 --> 01:08:58,360
Speaker 3: It's this thing is not hard. It's a lot of

1308
01:08:58,439 --> 01:09:01,439
Speaker 3: hard stuff we got to do in life. Being in

1309
01:09:01,520 --> 01:09:03,200
Speaker 3: love ain't gonna be one of them for me.

1310
01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:14,599
Speaker 2: Y'all, y'all y'all killing me right now.

1311
01:09:16,520 --> 01:09:17,360
Speaker 5: That's what I'm gonna give you.

1312
01:09:17,439 --> 01:09:17,599
Speaker 2: Two.

1313
01:09:17,680 --> 01:09:20,080
Speaker 1: We have never had an argument, and people love to

1314
01:09:20,160 --> 01:09:22,720
Speaker 1: bring that up and say, y'all not scared, And I'm like,

1315
01:09:22,840 --> 01:09:23,200
Speaker 1: that's the.

1316
01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:24,120
Speaker 2: Problem, is it?

1317
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:26,439
Speaker 4: Because you don't call what y'all have arguments, I'll just

1318
01:09:26,479 --> 01:09:27,320
Speaker 4: call it disagreements.

1319
01:09:27,680 --> 01:09:28,840
Speaker 5: We don't have those either.

1320
01:09:29,479 --> 01:09:29,880
Speaker 2: We don't.

1321
01:09:29,960 --> 01:09:36,200
Speaker 5: We have not had exactly I'm gonna assume it.

1322
01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:45,240
Speaker 3: On that, but not like real stuff. We have not

1323
01:09:46,400 --> 01:09:52,120
Speaker 3: disagreed raised a voice at each other. Bro, what's the

1324
01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:54,639
Speaker 3: math on how many days we've been together? A lot

1325
01:09:54,680 --> 01:09:59,800
Speaker 3: of Yeah, every single day has been one.

1326
01:10:00,760 --> 01:10:00,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1327
01:10:01,200 --> 01:10:03,160
Speaker 4: Did y'all go through pre engagement of a pre medal

1328
01:10:03,200 --> 01:10:04,920
Speaker 4: counseling we did with our pastor?

1329
01:10:05,040 --> 01:10:08,360
Speaker 2: Yea? And what was some things that they discovered with y'all?

1330
01:10:09,360 --> 01:10:13,599
Speaker 1: Our compatibility honestly was off the charts, Like our pastor

1331
01:10:13,720 --> 01:10:16,679
Speaker 1: literally was like, you guys have been the hardest couple

1332
01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:18,480
Speaker 1: to counsel because.

1333
01:10:18,160 --> 01:10:22,840
Speaker 2: Of how much y'all flow together, make up stuff.

1334
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:35,719
Speaker 1: It's because we did the hard work, like we literally

1335
01:10:35,960 --> 01:10:38,600
Speaker 1: sat down forget all the Oh I like this and

1336
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:39,559
Speaker 1: I want to do this one.

1337
01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:43,799
Speaker 5: No, what won't you tolerate.

1338
01:10:44,560 --> 01:10:46,240
Speaker 1: What are things that are going to make you say

1339
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:49,680
Speaker 1: absolutely not, no arguing. I don't want to fuss. If

1340
01:10:49,720 --> 01:10:51,800
Speaker 1: you feel like you're gonna get mad at a point

1341
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:53,799
Speaker 1: where you can't talk to me and be an adult,

1342
01:10:54,800 --> 01:10:55,599
Speaker 1: it's not going to work.

1343
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:57,960
Speaker 5: Like those things we nailed down in.

1344
01:10:58,160 --> 01:11:00,840
Speaker 1: Before we were even in a relationship of what we

1345
01:11:00,920 --> 01:11:04,400
Speaker 1: would or would not tolerate between each other. And since

1346
01:11:04,479 --> 01:11:07,360
Speaker 1: then it's just flow. Like you do the work and

1347
01:11:07,479 --> 01:11:10,800
Speaker 1: you learn your person to know what they like don't like.

1348
01:11:11,080 --> 01:11:13,400
Speaker 1: And as women, I'm gonna say it and you ain't

1349
01:11:13,439 --> 01:11:14,000
Speaker 1: gonna like it.

1350
01:11:14,920 --> 01:11:16,840
Speaker 5: I tell you a joke, but I'll never tell you

1351
01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:18,080
Speaker 5: a lot.

1352
01:11:19,520 --> 01:11:19,920
Speaker 2: Ladies.

1353
01:11:20,200 --> 01:11:23,800
Speaker 1: Uh, we know when we say something that's gonna piss

1354
01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:25,560
Speaker 1: off our men, So why do it?

1355
01:11:26,760 --> 01:11:26,960
Speaker 2: Why?

1356
01:11:29,080 --> 01:11:33,479
Speaker 1: There are many times where Ray can say something I

1357
01:11:33,520 --> 01:11:35,960
Speaker 1: would look at and be like, I could roll my

1358
01:11:36,040 --> 01:11:38,040
Speaker 1: eyes right now, but.

1359
01:11:38,080 --> 01:11:39,240
Speaker 5: I know that's gonna make it mad.

1360
01:11:39,400 --> 01:11:42,760
Speaker 1: So like, but when you know your person, it's like,

1361
01:11:42,920 --> 01:11:46,080
Speaker 1: why even push that button to see what would happen

1362
01:11:46,600 --> 01:11:48,800
Speaker 1: versus just okay, honey.

1363
01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:50,800
Speaker 5: You're right and leave it at that. Everything don't need

1364
01:11:50,880 --> 01:11:53,720
Speaker 5: a response, Everything don't need a back and forth. Some

1365
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:55,559
Speaker 5: things are just okay.

1366
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:59,840
Speaker 1: Baby, And that is where I feel like has gotten

1367
01:12:00,160 --> 01:12:03,639
Speaker 1: to where we are. It's we've done that homework. We've

1368
01:12:03,760 --> 01:12:07,960
Speaker 1: lived and experienced other relationships to know what your grandpoints

1369
01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:10,080
Speaker 1: can be, and we've talked about that with each other, Like,

1370
01:12:10,479 --> 01:12:12,679
Speaker 1: you know this is something that has set me off before.

1371
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:16,240
Speaker 1: How are ways that we can mamoeuver through that to

1372
01:12:16,400 --> 01:12:19,680
Speaker 1: not have that problem? So doing that homework with each other.

1373
01:12:20,479 --> 01:12:22,040
Speaker 1: God has blessed us tremendously.

1374
01:12:22,560 --> 01:12:25,599
Speaker 4: Let me ask you this ray so people feel balanced. Yes,

1375
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 4: let us some things that you can say that you.

1376
01:12:29,560 --> 01:12:37,639
Speaker 2: Learn that women need to I don't want to sound

1377
01:12:37,720 --> 01:12:37,920
Speaker 2: like a.

1378
01:12:37,960 --> 01:12:42,800
Speaker 5: Put I'm ready to read them.

1379
01:12:45,120 --> 01:12:52,599
Speaker 4: To help me and women help navigate possible disagreements and arguments.

1380
01:12:54,080 --> 01:12:54,559
Speaker 2: I love it.

1381
01:12:57,280 --> 01:12:58,439
Speaker 7: Just right.

1382
01:12:59,680 --> 01:13:03,080
Speaker 2: Crazy thing is like men, we know we know what

1383
01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:05,360
Speaker 2: to do, all of us. Men, women, we know what

1384
01:13:05,479 --> 01:13:08,120
Speaker 2: you like. We know I know what's player, Like I

1385
01:13:08,280 --> 01:13:11,000
Speaker 2: could wake her up, but it'd be real player if

1386
01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:12,840
Speaker 2: I wake her up with breakfast. There it is, you

1387
01:13:12,880 --> 01:13:13,320
Speaker 2: know what I'm.

1388
01:13:13,160 --> 01:13:17,519
Speaker 3: Saying, Like I could uh take her out to dinner,

1389
01:13:17,760 --> 01:13:20,759
Speaker 3: but it'd be real player. If I cooked clean, vacuum

1390
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:23,960
Speaker 3: all that, Like, I could get her.

1391
01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:26,599
Speaker 2: But it'll be Yes, ma'am, I got it. I'm sorry.

1392
01:13:26,760 --> 01:13:30,800
Speaker 2: I'll do better next time. That's it. Yeah, you got

1393
01:13:30,880 --> 01:13:33,439
Speaker 2: you got to you got to get it right there. Yeah.

1394
01:13:33,640 --> 01:13:37,200
Speaker 3: When you see something that could grow into argument, something

1395
01:13:37,240 --> 01:13:38,880
Speaker 3: that could grow, now let's let's kill it.

1396
01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:40,960
Speaker 2: You got to kill the weed at the root.

1397
01:13:41,120 --> 01:13:41,240
Speaker 3: Dog.

1398
01:13:41,960 --> 01:13:43,599
Speaker 2: So now let's let's go ahead and get this out

1399
01:13:43,640 --> 01:13:45,080
Speaker 2: the way. I didn't like the way you said that.

1400
01:13:45,439 --> 01:13:47,200
Speaker 2: Let's talk. You know what I'm saying, like, let's not.

1401
01:13:47,320 --> 01:13:47,599
Speaker 2: I don't.

1402
01:13:47,640 --> 01:13:50,479
Speaker 3: We don't want it fester. When we sit down, we're

1403
01:13:50,560 --> 01:13:53,840
Speaker 3: having a conversation. It's us against the problem, not meeting

1404
01:13:53,880 --> 01:13:54,599
Speaker 3: you against each other.

1405
01:13:54,960 --> 01:13:57,320
Speaker 1: And Ray is so unique. He helped me realize how

1406
01:13:57,400 --> 01:13:59,920
Speaker 1: much work I had to do. So for example, my

1407
01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:02,600
Speaker 1: past relationships, it was always you're perfect, there's nothing you

1408
01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:06,559
Speaker 1: need to do, there's nothing wrong. But meeting Ray, I'm like, wow,

1409
01:14:06,680 --> 01:14:09,080
Speaker 1: there is some work that I need to do, or

1410
01:14:09,200 --> 01:14:11,639
Speaker 1: I could say this better, or my delivery could change.

1411
01:14:12,240 --> 01:14:15,160
Speaker 1: And he helped me change my mindset on how I

1412
01:14:15,320 --> 01:14:17,920
Speaker 1: respond to him when he really asked what's wrong?

1413
01:14:18,600 --> 01:14:21,960
Speaker 5: Tell him what's wrong versus nothing? And now I don't

1414
01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:24,160
Speaker 5: want to talk all day, Like girl, you're the most

1415
01:14:24,200 --> 01:14:24,519
Speaker 5: talking to.

1416
01:14:24,600 --> 01:14:26,599
Speaker 1: Person I know, and you talking about ain't nothing wrong,

1417
01:14:26,640 --> 01:14:29,120
Speaker 1: but you ain't talking well, you know, honey, this made

1418
01:14:29,160 --> 01:14:31,240
Speaker 1: me feel a way, and I'm still trying to work

1419
01:14:31,360 --> 01:14:35,559
Speaker 1: through how I'm feeling honestly, and immediately, Oh well, honey,

1420
01:14:35,600 --> 01:14:38,120
Speaker 1: what can I do? Let's talk it through and talking

1421
01:14:38,160 --> 01:14:40,120
Speaker 1: it through and that's it, And I'm like, wow.

1422
01:14:40,760 --> 01:14:40,840
Speaker 4: So.

1423
01:14:44,479 --> 01:14:44,720
Speaker 2: Keep that.

1424
01:14:45,760 --> 01:14:53,880
Speaker 5: Let's give something hurting that work nothing.

1425
01:14:53,960 --> 01:14:56,640
Speaker 4: To real quick because this is important, and Ray, I

1426
01:14:56,720 --> 01:15:00,280
Speaker 4: want you to really think and process this because only

1427
01:15:00,439 --> 01:15:03,000
Speaker 4: you are the only person with the wisdom that sit

1428
01:15:03,160 --> 01:15:05,559
Speaker 4: on this couch. I've been through divorce, but I've never

1429
01:15:05,640 --> 01:15:09,679
Speaker 4: been through what you've been through. How has going through

1430
01:15:09,720 --> 01:15:15,160
Speaker 4: the loss of a spouse taught you how to show

1431
01:15:15,320 --> 01:15:20,160
Speaker 4: up and value the time that you are allotted with lexus?

1432
01:15:25,320 --> 01:15:29,320
Speaker 3: People don't I'll give you a quote. People don't understand

1433
01:15:29,600 --> 01:15:32,679
Speaker 3: the power of a moment until it becomes a memory.

1434
01:15:33,960 --> 01:15:40,840
Speaker 3: So like I've now maximized my moments, I touch her more,

1435
01:15:41,360 --> 01:15:44,439
Speaker 3: I hug her more, I kiss her more, I tell

1436
01:15:44,479 --> 01:15:44,840
Speaker 3: her how.

1437
01:15:44,760 --> 01:15:45,640
Speaker 2: Beautiful she is.

1438
01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:50,960
Speaker 3: Because I death came to my doorstep, like we are

1439
01:15:51,200 --> 01:15:53,040
Speaker 3: we all got to get up out of here. But

1440
01:15:53,240 --> 01:15:55,400
Speaker 3: until it comes like in front of you, you don't

1441
01:15:55,479 --> 01:15:57,800
Speaker 3: really You don't really know what you're what you're dealing with.

1442
01:15:57,960 --> 01:16:01,639
Speaker 2: No, we all have to die at some point before

1443
01:16:01,800 --> 01:16:02,479
Speaker 2: that happens.

1444
01:16:02,800 --> 01:16:06,559
Speaker 3: I'm going to pour out as much as myself as possible,

1445
01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:10,400
Speaker 3: And God gave me a beautiful vessel to pour myself

1446
01:16:10,479 --> 01:16:10,840
Speaker 3: out into.

1447
01:16:13,640 --> 01:16:14,560
Speaker 2: I know he's gonna kill it.

1448
01:16:17,680 --> 01:16:19,040
Speaker 5: Like, what is that an argue about?

1449
01:16:24,800 --> 01:16:27,599
Speaker 4: Listen, I'm telling y'all, y'all wedding video was so far

1450
01:16:27,920 --> 01:16:31,639
Speaker 4: like shout out to Fadeaway production, shout out to the camp.

1451
01:16:32,120 --> 01:16:38,280
Speaker 2: Videographers, photographers, everybody is, Yeah, we got some more stuff

1452
01:16:38,320 --> 01:16:38,680
Speaker 2: coming up.

1453
01:16:40,040 --> 01:16:44,280
Speaker 4: Drop that he keep dropping. Man, anything else y'all want

1454
01:16:44,320 --> 01:16:46,679
Speaker 4: to share? How can we support y'all? Y'all got drop

1455
01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:49,320
Speaker 4: your social media handles or anything else you want?

1456
01:16:49,479 --> 01:16:50,320
Speaker 2: How can we support you?

1457
01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:55,040
Speaker 1: So? Yes, I also have my own online clothing boutique.

1458
01:16:55,040 --> 01:16:58,080
Speaker 1: It is called the Contour Closet. Yes, and you know

1459
01:16:58,160 --> 01:16:59,920
Speaker 1: I always got to show up in my pieces. Baby,

1460
01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:03,559
Speaker 1: get into it if you want them pieces that everybody

1461
01:17:03,600 --> 01:17:04,599
Speaker 1: else ain't gonna be having.

1462
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:08,960
Speaker 5: You know where to go. The Instagram is at the Contour.

1463
01:17:08,640 --> 01:17:11,360
Speaker 1: Closet t H E C O N T O U

1464
01:17:11,600 --> 01:17:15,960
Speaker 1: R C L O S E T and aside from that,

1465
01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:17,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let my honey share what he does, and

1466
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:20,400
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna bring something that we've been working on.

1467
01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:23,920
Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay, gotcha. Yeah, I didn't notice what was happening.

1468
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:28,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, So you can follow me on Instagram Willie Underscore

1469
01:17:28,840 --> 01:17:31,800
Speaker 3: cool with the q w I L l I E

1470
01:17:32,120 --> 01:17:36,280
Speaker 3: Underscore q O O L. I'm also a director in

1471
01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:39,200
Speaker 3: my health and wellness company. If anybody's out there looking

1472
01:17:39,280 --> 01:17:42,240
Speaker 3: to lose weight, get healthy, have more energy. I'm down

1473
01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:45,160
Speaker 3: twenty five pounds, my wife is down twenty two. We

1474
01:17:45,280 --> 01:17:47,599
Speaker 3: slim and trim like a bicycle round and were trying

1475
01:17:47,640 --> 01:17:49,040
Speaker 3: to help as many people as possible.

1476
01:17:49,439 --> 01:17:52,080
Speaker 1: And you right, I didn't even drop my own. My

1477
01:17:52,240 --> 01:17:59,519
Speaker 1: personal instagram is Lexus Singleton now Lexus Singleton t V

1478
01:17:59,800 --> 01:18:02,479
Speaker 1: l E x U s I n g l E

1479
01:18:02,680 --> 01:18:05,920
Speaker 1: t O n TV and my honey and I have

1480
01:18:06,040 --> 01:18:08,640
Speaker 1: been working on something we're super excited to drop. So

1481
01:18:08,720 --> 01:18:11,720
Speaker 1: a lot of people been seeing our wedding content and

1482
01:18:11,840 --> 01:18:14,400
Speaker 1: all though that type of thing, so I gotta pull

1483
01:18:14,479 --> 01:18:14,720
Speaker 1: it out.

1484
01:18:15,560 --> 01:18:16,200
Speaker 5: I'll pull it out.

1485
01:18:16,720 --> 01:18:19,200
Speaker 1: So this was our wedding logo. It is the L

1486
01:18:19,280 --> 01:18:22,080
Speaker 1: and R, but we decided to brand it to love rains.

1487
01:18:23,439 --> 01:18:24,440
Speaker 1: Our two minds.

1488
01:18:24,240 --> 01:18:26,560
Speaker 5: Together is unstoppable.

1489
01:18:26,680 --> 01:18:26,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1490
01:18:26,960 --> 01:18:27,280
Speaker 5: Okay.

1491
01:18:28,240 --> 01:18:30,680
Speaker 1: So I originally had a line with my boutique called

1492
01:18:30,720 --> 01:18:34,280
Speaker 1: love Winds, which was based off my initials Lexus Wilson.

1493
01:18:35,439 --> 01:18:37,800
Speaker 1: But now being married, I kept looking at it and

1494
01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:39,679
Speaker 1: I was like, Babe, I really want to do something

1495
01:18:39,760 --> 01:18:40,320
Speaker 1: with this logo.

1496
01:18:40,400 --> 01:18:43,360
Speaker 5: I made this logo in Canva, and I said, I

1497
01:18:43,439 --> 01:18:46,360
Speaker 5: want something that speaks to what we have. And Ray

1498
01:18:46,439 --> 01:18:49,080
Speaker 5: literally looked at the letters and said love rains. And

1499
01:18:49,200 --> 01:18:51,720
Speaker 5: I said, I love that.

1500
01:18:52,720 --> 01:18:53,280
Speaker 2: I said.

1501
01:18:54,880 --> 01:18:56,600
Speaker 5: Every time I bring him an idea, he makes it.

1502
01:18:58,120 --> 01:19:00,439
Speaker 1: So this is something that we are working on. We're

1503
01:19:00,479 --> 01:19:03,200
Speaker 1: going to be rolling out a line called love Rains.

1504
01:19:03,680 --> 01:19:07,200
Speaker 1: So please stay tuned, Stay tuned, States, stay tuned, stay tuned.

1505
01:19:07,840 --> 01:19:11,479
Speaker 2: Listen. Man, I just I just thank you, man, thank you.

1506
01:19:11,920 --> 01:19:13,880
Speaker 2: Can we say that before you say thank you? Go ahead.

1507
01:19:14,200 --> 01:19:17,439
Speaker 3: Thank you for what you've done, thank you for the

1508
01:19:17,520 --> 01:19:19,799
Speaker 3: content that you put out, thank you for your mission.

1509
01:19:20,960 --> 01:19:23,479
Speaker 3: I can't imagine the thousands and thousands of people that

1510
01:19:23,600 --> 01:19:26,400
Speaker 3: have been helped and blessed by your content. Man, And

1511
01:19:27,280 --> 01:19:30,120
Speaker 3: as content creators, we don't really get pats.

1512
01:19:29,880 --> 01:19:31,720
Speaker 2: On the back. So I will say, man, thank you

1513
01:19:31,840 --> 01:19:32,400
Speaker 2: for what you do.

1514
01:19:33,120 --> 01:19:35,240
Speaker 3: Continue to do it in the nights when you don't

1515
01:19:35,280 --> 01:19:38,000
Speaker 3: want to do it, know somebody's counting on your man.

1516
01:19:38,040 --> 01:19:38,439
Speaker 2: So thank you.

1517
01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:40,120
Speaker 5: You are changing lives every day.

1518
01:19:40,280 --> 01:19:42,479
Speaker 4: To God Bill Glory, I want to thank y'all for

1519
01:19:42,640 --> 01:19:46,920
Speaker 4: loving each other well. We need more couples that just

1520
01:19:47,080 --> 01:19:50,480
Speaker 4: don't fake the funk and just post.

1521
01:19:50,400 --> 01:19:53,000
Speaker 2: What looks good on social media. But y'all are living it.

1522
01:19:53,120 --> 01:19:55,560
Speaker 4: And there's a certain language that I hear when I

1523
01:19:55,680 --> 01:19:58,679
Speaker 4: talk to couples who have done the work that value marriage,

1524
01:19:58,720 --> 01:20:03,639
Speaker 4: that value can comitment, that value companionship is a certain

1525
01:20:03,720 --> 01:20:06,839
Speaker 4: language that they have and I just hear it exude

1526
01:20:06,840 --> 01:20:08,760
Speaker 4: from y'all, And so I just want to thank y'all

1527
01:20:08,880 --> 01:20:13,120
Speaker 4: for two black people loving each other well. At the

1528
01:20:13,120 --> 01:20:15,320
Speaker 4: beginning of this year, I said, my goal is to

1529
01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:19,080
Speaker 4: increase marriage rates in the Black community and decrease divorced

1530
01:20:19,120 --> 01:20:22,760
Speaker 4: artistics while providing tools so that we can do relationships better.

1531
01:20:23,280 --> 01:20:27,759
Speaker 4: And y'all are the remnant. Y'all are people that loving

1532
01:20:27,800 --> 01:20:31,000
Speaker 4: each other well. Like that y'all's offspring. When y'all give

1533
01:20:31,080 --> 01:20:33,720
Speaker 4: these beautiful kids, and y'all bring these beautiful kids into

1534
01:20:33,760 --> 01:20:36,920
Speaker 4: the world, they'll be able to see a loving relationship

1535
01:20:37,160 --> 01:20:39,800
Speaker 4: and they'll be able to now have what it looks

1536
01:20:39,920 --> 01:20:42,400
Speaker 4: like a picture of No my mom and daddy. They

1537
01:20:42,479 --> 01:20:44,800
Speaker 4: loved each other well. They knew how to talk to

1538
01:20:44,880 --> 01:20:46,680
Speaker 4: each other, they knew how to respect each other.

1539
01:20:46,800 --> 01:20:48,000
Speaker 2: They knew it.

1540
01:20:48,080 --> 01:20:51,160
Speaker 4: It wasn't like I see them on social media posting stuff,

1541
01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:53,640
Speaker 4: but behind the scenes, we wanted them to get a

1542
01:20:53,640 --> 01:20:56,680
Speaker 4: divorced because they are terrible for each other. It's this

1543
01:20:56,880 --> 01:21:01,120
Speaker 4: beautiful legacy that we're able to create when we create

1544
01:21:01,160 --> 01:21:04,120
Speaker 4: a legacy of love. And so yeah, love truly rains

1545
01:21:04,200 --> 01:21:07,040
Speaker 4: with y'all and through y'all, and it will outlive y'all,

1546
01:21:07,479 --> 01:21:11,439
Speaker 4: and so honor y'all today. I thank y'all for coming

1547
01:21:11,479 --> 01:21:14,800
Speaker 4: on the Dear Future WIFEI podcast for blessing me with

1548
01:21:14,880 --> 01:21:18,160
Speaker 4: this wisdom. I see it as a student, not some expert.

1549
01:21:18,240 --> 01:21:20,880
Speaker 4: I sit as a student learning and gleaning insights from

1550
01:21:20,960 --> 01:21:24,080
Speaker 4: couples to know what it looks like to navigate some

1551
01:21:24,240 --> 01:21:26,919
Speaker 4: of the most painful things that we could ever experience,

1552
01:21:27,040 --> 01:21:30,360
Speaker 4: Like Ray has to know what it looks like as

1553
01:21:30,400 --> 01:21:33,200
Speaker 4: a woman to say, you know what, I can love

1554
01:21:33,280 --> 01:21:37,320
Speaker 4: a man past my what people may put on me

1555
01:21:37,439 --> 01:21:39,920
Speaker 4: as an insecurity that I can sit here and give

1556
01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:41,639
Speaker 4: spaces man and hold my boundary.

1557
01:21:41,680 --> 01:21:43,280
Speaker 2: Say this is what I desire, this is what I want.

1558
01:21:43,560 --> 01:21:46,040
Speaker 4: I can create standards to be able to say, my

1559
01:21:47,160 --> 01:21:49,920
Speaker 4: man before he became my man, can be honest with me,

1560
01:21:50,000 --> 01:21:51,920
Speaker 4: and I can handle it with maturity and say I

1561
01:21:52,040 --> 01:21:57,080
Speaker 4: respect that level of transparency, and you know, make them

1562
01:21:57,120 --> 01:21:57,519
Speaker 4: regret it.

1563
01:21:57,600 --> 01:22:00,680
Speaker 2: You know, Hey, listen, I want you to see you

1564
01:22:06,000 --> 01:22:12,120
Speaker 2: could be right here. So yeah, give ma all that.

1565
01:22:14,160 --> 01:22:16,360
Speaker 4: But I love that he was wise enough and mature

1566
01:22:16,479 --> 01:22:19,200
Speaker 4: enough to say I'm gonna choose forever and not for

1567
01:22:19,320 --> 01:22:21,320
Speaker 4: something that's just a flighty moment.

1568
01:22:21,360 --> 01:22:22,240
Speaker 2: I'm gonna choose forever.

1569
01:22:22,439 --> 01:22:24,920
Speaker 4: And so he chose forever in you, and you chose

1570
01:22:24,960 --> 01:22:28,240
Speaker 4: forever with him, and I speak blessings over your relationship.

1571
01:22:28,280 --> 01:22:29,640
Speaker 4: Matter of fact, I'm just gonna pray for you. A

1572
01:22:30,360 --> 01:22:33,000
Speaker 4: haamdy Father, we lift up the singletons before you right now.

1573
01:22:33,479 --> 01:22:35,720
Speaker 4: We thank you for the journey, We thank you for

1574
01:22:35,800 --> 01:22:38,080
Speaker 4: the love. We thank you for the great exploits that

1575
01:22:38,160 --> 01:22:42,760
Speaker 4: they're going to do and perform. Things that they're going

1576
01:22:42,840 --> 01:22:48,040
Speaker 4: to accomplish that they haven't even began to even dream about. Now, God,

1577
01:22:48,120 --> 01:22:50,920
Speaker 4: we know that you are a giver of life, and God,

1578
01:22:51,040 --> 01:22:53,280
Speaker 4: we thank you right now the name of Jesus, for

1579
01:22:53,760 --> 01:22:57,120
Speaker 4: fashion in their hearts for each other, making them compatible

1580
01:22:57,200 --> 01:23:00,360
Speaker 4: for each other, making them aligned with each other, and

1581
01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:03,720
Speaker 4: tethering their hearts to one another. Satan, we bind up

1582
01:23:03,720 --> 01:23:06,400
Speaker 4: any demonic attack that tries to come against this relationship,

1583
01:23:06,479 --> 01:23:09,519
Speaker 4: that tries to come against this marriage. Lord, you said

1584
01:23:09,560 --> 01:23:12,320
Speaker 4: in your word that no weapon formed against them shall prosper.

1585
01:23:12,320 --> 01:23:14,680
Speaker 4: Come on, and every tongue that rises up against them

1586
01:23:14,760 --> 01:23:18,120
Speaker 4: shall be condemned, for this is their inheritance, because they

1587
01:23:18,160 --> 01:23:22,400
Speaker 4: are servants of You. Every Where, when people begin to post,

1588
01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:25,880
Speaker 4: they begin to comment in their DM, sliding the DM.

1589
01:23:26,000 --> 01:23:28,320
Speaker 4: We come against that spirit in the name of Jesus.

1590
01:23:28,640 --> 01:23:30,960
Speaker 4: We want those people to take a moment of thought,

1591
01:23:31,080 --> 01:23:33,640
Speaker 4: a moment of clarity, and say, what purpose is this

1592
01:23:33,800 --> 01:23:36,439
Speaker 4: DM going to serve? What purpose is this comment? Am

1593
01:23:36,479 --> 01:23:38,680
Speaker 4: I being used by God? Am I being used by

1594
01:23:38,720 --> 01:23:41,200
Speaker 4: the enemy? And they begin to check their own hearts,

1595
01:23:41,240 --> 01:23:44,000
Speaker 4: their own motives. In the name of Jesus, I come

1596
01:23:44,040 --> 01:23:47,559
Speaker 4: against that spirit of division that has been infiltrating social

1597
01:23:47,640 --> 01:23:48,760
Speaker 4: media for years.

1598
01:23:49,080 --> 01:23:50,160
Speaker 2: In the name of Jesus.

1599
01:23:50,439 --> 01:23:52,560
Speaker 4: And God asked that you fortify their love, that you

1600
01:23:52,680 --> 01:23:56,120
Speaker 4: fortify their relationship. And God I ask that you bless

1601
01:23:57,280 --> 01:24:00,320
Speaker 4: Lexus wound right now in the name of Jesus. Asked

1602
01:24:00,320 --> 01:24:03,200
Speaker 4: that you blessed the seed from ray in the name

1603
01:24:03,320 --> 01:24:07,840
Speaker 4: of Jesus, and get healthy kids, healthy offspring, healthy mighty

1604
01:24:08,120 --> 01:24:09,880
Speaker 4: children that serve you.

1605
01:24:10,000 --> 01:24:13,599
Speaker 2: Guys, we thank you in advance Jesus name. We pray. Amen.

1606
01:24:15,400 --> 01:24:23,639
Speaker 1: I need a box too. You are annoyed and that's

1607
01:24:23,800 --> 01:24:26,760
Speaker 1: something that I want to commend you on. Is your

1608
01:24:26,920 --> 01:24:31,840
Speaker 1: act for Christ and crying aloud is what we are

1609
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:36,639
Speaker 1: missing today, not just in general but on social media everywhere.

1610
01:24:36,760 --> 01:24:38,920
Speaker 1: People love love and all that, but no, y'all got

1611
01:24:39,000 --> 01:24:41,439
Speaker 1: to remember who is the creator and the center of that.

1612
01:24:42,680 --> 01:24:45,840
Speaker 5: That has to be at the forefront. So thank you

1613
01:24:46,280 --> 01:24:48,519
Speaker 5: for what you do and keeping God at the center.

1614
01:24:50,000 --> 01:24:50,960
Speaker 2: To God be the glory.

1615
01:24:51,160 --> 01:24:53,519
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm about to have a raide talking about singing

1616
01:24:53,520 --> 01:24:55,120
Speaker 4: the song Jesus.

1617
01:25:00,520 --> 01:25:10,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, we can't go come on, come on, how you

1618
01:25:10,720 --> 01:25:11,240
Speaker 8: gonna jump on?

1619
01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:16,880
Speaker 5: You got to give him praise every chance you get.

1620
01:25:16,960 --> 01:25:21,240
Speaker 2: You I'm ill can sing her face off. Man.

1621
01:25:21,280 --> 01:25:24,680
Speaker 3: We got our first show tomorrow, we do yeah. Yeah,

1622
01:25:24,720 --> 01:25:28,360
Speaker 3: we're performing for the first time tomorrow in Charlotte.

1623
01:25:29,920 --> 01:25:34,599
Speaker 2: So fast. Yeah, really, man's going down. You'll see videos,

1624
01:25:35,720 --> 01:25:38,120
Speaker 2: then see it in the video. You can't see any person,

1625
01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:43,479
Speaker 2: go see the video. We got everybody don't work for

1626
01:25:43,520 --> 01:25:45,040
Speaker 2: the airline, so I can't be hot on.

1627
01:25:45,200 --> 01:25:53,080
Speaker 3: Pan'll dona perform together?

1628
01:25:53,280 --> 01:25:55,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's going down.

1629
01:25:55,240 --> 01:25:58,960
Speaker 4: They're gonna be singing love songs and the whole bab Yeah,

1630
01:25:59,080 --> 01:26:00,240
Speaker 4: they got a whole show for I.

1631
01:26:00,240 --> 01:26:03,320
Speaker 2: Got a whole set list. How long forty minutes? Hit

1632
01:26:03,400 --> 01:26:04,960
Speaker 2: him in the chance and get out there. It's a

1633
01:26:05,040 --> 01:26:07,800
Speaker 2: music festival, so yeah, we wanted to line up what

1634
01:26:07,960 --> 01:26:18,320
Speaker 2: you're gonna sing. We got ain't no show, ain't no

1635
01:26:18,960 --> 01:26:21,920
Speaker 2: enough best part, Daniel Caesar, He.

1636
01:26:21,960 --> 01:26:23,720
Speaker 4: All right, stop sing a little bit of that real quick,

1637
01:26:26,400 --> 01:26:28,439
Speaker 4: Yes you I don't ain't no podcast.

1638
01:26:31,240 --> 01:26:35,640
Speaker 5: Go ahead, am I starting from the beginning wherever you

1639
01:26:35,720 --> 01:26:39,800
Speaker 5: want to start from? All right, hold on, let me

1640
01:26:39,880 --> 01:26:40,280
Speaker 5: hit a song.

1641
01:26:43,000 --> 01:26:48,439
Speaker 2: Mmmmmm hey, you better singer.

1642
01:26:49,360 --> 01:26:51,000
Speaker 5: You don't know, babe.

1643
01:26:52,680 --> 01:26:57,160
Speaker 1: When you hold me mm hmmm and kiss me slowly,

1644
01:26:58,000 --> 01:26:59,639
Speaker 1: it's the sweetest thing.

1645
01:27:01,040 --> 01:27:05,480
Speaker 2: Mm hmmmm. And it don't change.

1646
01:27:06,680 --> 01:27:08,000
Speaker 5: My hand in my way.

1647
01:27:09,960 --> 01:27:10,800
Speaker 3: You know that.

1648
01:27:11,160 --> 01:27:32,960
Speaker 2: You that's on YouTube, my whole video, my whole video

1649
01:27:33,200 --> 01:27:38,840
Speaker 2: sharing work. But none of that.

1650
01:27:39,360 --> 01:27:42,719
Speaker 4: Good Lord Jesus man, that's gonna beautiful how that feel

1651
01:27:42,800 --> 01:27:44,320
Speaker 4: to be able to do this with your bride?

1652
01:27:45,120 --> 01:27:48,200
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, yeah, awesome.

1653
01:27:48,479 --> 01:27:51,280
Speaker 1: Because I grew up in the church. I grew up

1654
01:27:51,320 --> 01:27:53,200
Speaker 1: singing on the praise team and that was it. So

1655
01:27:53,360 --> 01:27:56,120
Speaker 1: only the people that grew up and knew me that

1656
01:27:56,240 --> 01:28:00,720
Speaker 1: I sang. So Ray literally said oh no. Because we

1657
01:28:00,800 --> 01:28:02,760
Speaker 1: started going to church together. I started going to his

1658
01:28:02,880 --> 01:28:04,240
Speaker 1: church where he's the minister of music.

1659
01:28:04,280 --> 01:28:06,439
Speaker 3: The church to go to, uh it was first Cavalary

1660
01:28:06,439 --> 01:28:09,759
Speaker 3: Baptist Church, First Cavey, so he was the minister of music.

1661
01:28:09,840 --> 01:28:11,720
Speaker 1: So I started singing on the praise team. And the

1662
01:28:11,800 --> 01:28:13,400
Speaker 1: more I would sing, the more he was like, wait

1663
01:28:13,400 --> 01:28:15,160
Speaker 1: a minute, you really sing?

1664
01:28:15,240 --> 01:28:17,800
Speaker 2: You start getting a praise seas. Yeah, you do. Joined

1665
01:28:17,800 --> 01:28:20,880
Speaker 2: the church and she would be around me all the time.

1666
01:28:21,080 --> 01:28:22,920
Speaker 2: When go to choire her, so she she coming.

1667
01:28:23,040 --> 01:28:27,599
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I said okay.

1668
01:28:29,160 --> 01:28:31,120
Speaker 1: So after that we would start just singing at home

1669
01:28:31,200 --> 01:28:33,200
Speaker 1: all the time, and then that turned into we.

1670
01:28:33,560 --> 01:28:35,479
Speaker 2: Need to start doing something that's beautiful.

1671
01:28:35,520 --> 01:28:37,679
Speaker 5: So while we were on the honeymoon, it was like, yep,

1672
01:28:37,760 --> 01:28:38,479
Speaker 5: I got us a show.

1673
01:28:38,520 --> 01:28:42,000
Speaker 1: I said, oh my gosh sake, Gap, So yeah, I'm

1674
01:28:42,080 --> 01:28:44,960
Speaker 1: living out one of my bucket lists because that was

1675
01:28:45,360 --> 01:28:46,280
Speaker 1: something suppressed.

1676
01:28:46,360 --> 01:28:48,600
Speaker 4: But you see what marriage. Yeah, I'm gonna give me

1677
01:28:48,640 --> 01:28:52,360
Speaker 4: a box. I'm not I'm not going to go into this. Yeah,

1678
01:28:52,840 --> 01:28:56,719
Speaker 4: that's what mayors does. Yeah, it's a reason that God

1679
01:28:56,920 --> 01:29:00,720
Speaker 4: with whole certain layers of our life and unlocks it

1680
01:29:00,800 --> 01:29:04,760
Speaker 4: in marriage because that's what brings togetherness. That's what that's

1681
01:29:04,840 --> 01:29:07,080
Speaker 4: the beauty of the journey where you look back and go,

1682
01:29:07,640 --> 01:29:10,280
Speaker 4: I remember, I put this dream on the chef, and

1683
01:29:10,400 --> 01:29:14,200
Speaker 4: then I got married and my husband began to extract

1684
01:29:14,280 --> 01:29:17,000
Speaker 4: that out of me, and my wife began to push

1685
01:29:17,120 --> 01:29:19,479
Speaker 4: me in this and it's just beautiful. That's what makes

1686
01:29:19,560 --> 01:29:21,920
Speaker 4: when the Bible says I will give you a suitable helper,

1687
01:29:22,360 --> 01:29:26,080
Speaker 4: it's so important that we choose wisely because everybody isn't

1688
01:29:26,200 --> 01:29:29,040
Speaker 4: suitable to help you with the things that God has

1689
01:29:29,240 --> 01:29:31,600
Speaker 4: in store for you. So it's like you had to

1690
01:29:31,760 --> 01:29:35,160
Speaker 4: marry Ray in order for that conversation to take place

1691
01:29:35,240 --> 01:29:38,120
Speaker 4: on the honeymoon, because that's his gift set, that's what

1692
01:29:38,280 --> 01:29:40,960
Speaker 4: he does for a living, and so he could identify it,

1693
01:29:41,040 --> 01:29:43,280
Speaker 4: he can see it, He has vision, and he knows

1694
01:29:43,320 --> 01:29:44,519
Speaker 4: how to cultivate it out of you.

1695
01:29:45,520 --> 01:29:46,519
Speaker 2: Couldn't be nobody else.

1696
01:29:46,640 --> 01:29:48,439
Speaker 5: He exudes so much wisdom.

1697
01:29:49,240 --> 01:29:51,320
Speaker 1: Ray said to me, if you don't use your gift,

1698
01:29:51,439 --> 01:29:53,960
Speaker 1: God will take it, and that for me immediately made

1699
01:29:54,000 --> 01:29:55,639
Speaker 1: me say, oh, well, I don't want God to take

1700
01:29:55,680 --> 01:29:57,600
Speaker 1: my gifts, so I said, I need to use it

1701
01:29:57,720 --> 01:30:00,200
Speaker 1: more other than just you know, at church on the

1702
01:30:00,240 --> 01:30:04,920
Speaker 1: praise scenes. It became at the top of my little

1703
01:30:07,640 --> 01:30:10,479
Speaker 1: It became something that we bonded over it and our

1704
01:30:10,640 --> 01:30:13,800
Speaker 1: love for music. I now can share that with someone

1705
01:30:13,880 --> 01:30:17,519
Speaker 1: that loves music just as much. And the archives is

1706
01:30:17,680 --> 01:30:19,760
Speaker 1: one of the things that blew my mind about Ray.

1707
01:30:19,800 --> 01:30:23,120
Speaker 1: How many church songs that we know together. And I'm like,

1708
01:30:23,160 --> 01:30:24,840
Speaker 1: what you talk about that we're doing that all the

1709
01:30:24,880 --> 01:30:26,519
Speaker 1: time of that, I'm like, oh, yeah, that's the old

1710
01:30:26,560 --> 01:30:27,120
Speaker 1: school church.

1711
01:30:27,240 --> 01:30:29,200
Speaker 5: Yes, that's all. Yeah, Thank you Lord.

1712
01:30:30,760 --> 01:30:34,599
Speaker 4: Sent to him. My life just busting straight on out.

1713
01:30:35,160 --> 01:30:37,120
Speaker 4: I love you man, listen. I could talk to you'll

1714
01:30:37,280 --> 01:30:39,920
Speaker 4: all day. The Singletons. How's that SAYD when I say

1715
01:30:39,920 --> 01:30:48,439
Speaker 4: miss so hey, y'all give it up for mister and missus,

1716
01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:51,120
Speaker 4: Ray Singleton, thank you, Thank you.

1717
01:30:51,920 --> 01:30:54,040
Speaker 2: Stay tuned to the end for a letter to my

1718
01:30:54,120 --> 01:30:57,280
Speaker 2: future wife write and these love letters.

1719
01:31:02,720 --> 01:31:07,799
Speaker 4: Ladarian thrust it suddenly into child protective Services in twenty fifteen.

1720
01:31:08,439 --> 01:31:11,080
Speaker 2: My nephew, black a boy.

1721
01:31:11,680 --> 01:31:16,759
Speaker 4: The likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship slim to none. Rmione,

1722
01:31:17,479 --> 01:31:21,519
Speaker 4: sixteen years old, black a boy with five years in

1723
01:31:21,600 --> 01:31:23,960
Speaker 4: the Falter care system before I even knew his name.

1724
01:31:24,800 --> 01:31:28,439
Speaker 4: The likelihood have ever been adopted? Yep, you guessed it.

1725
01:31:29,120 --> 01:31:33,680
Speaker 4: Slim to none. While Ladarian and Ourmiani were trying to

1726
01:31:33,760 --> 01:31:37,320
Speaker 4: survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded false

1727
01:31:37,439 --> 01:31:40,520
Speaker 4: care system, I was living my own life, doing well professionally,

1728
01:31:41,080 --> 01:31:43,320
Speaker 4: having been a single father with a daughter who at

1729
01:31:43,360 --> 01:31:45,760
Speaker 4: that point was doing well in college. It was my

1730
01:31:45,920 --> 01:31:52,840
Speaker 4: time to live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.

1731
01:31:53,760 --> 01:31:57,080
Speaker 4: There are just two many of our black children stuck

1732
01:31:57,400 --> 01:32:00,719
Speaker 4: in ambiguity and in the limbo of the false care system.

1733
01:32:01,400 --> 01:32:05,400
Speaker 4: In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast

1734
01:32:05,439 --> 01:32:07,720
Speaker 4: forward to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to this

1735
01:32:07,880 --> 01:32:10,320
Speaker 4: other young king, but I felt God instructed me to

1736
01:32:10,400 --> 01:32:13,880
Speaker 4: adopt them also on an babe starting over with parenting

1737
01:32:13,960 --> 01:32:15,200
Speaker 4: should have been enough.

1738
01:32:15,280 --> 01:32:15,400
Speaker 2: Right.

1739
01:32:15,479 --> 01:32:18,240
Speaker 4: Working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help

1740
01:32:18,280 --> 01:32:21,360
Speaker 4: bring awareness to the countless young Black kings and the

1741
01:32:21,400 --> 01:32:25,880
Speaker 4: foster care system should have decreased my agitation. Right, Joining

1742
01:32:25,920 --> 01:32:28,880
Speaker 4: the board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and organization

1743
01:32:29,000 --> 01:32:32,200
Speaker 4: that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in FALSI

1744
01:32:32,280 --> 01:32:34,439
Speaker 4: care should have led to some type of resolve.

1745
01:32:34,560 --> 01:32:38,920
Speaker 2: Right, No, not at all. None of it felt like

1746
01:32:39,080 --> 01:32:40,080
Speaker 2: I had done enough.

1747
01:32:41,200 --> 01:32:45,280
Speaker 4: I now realized that every one of those experiences was

1748
01:32:45,360 --> 01:32:48,040
Speaker 4: land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

1749
01:32:48,960 --> 01:32:49,759
Speaker 2: Kingdom Royal.

1750
01:32:50,720 --> 01:32:53,400
Speaker 4: Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art

1751
01:32:53,439 --> 01:32:56,640
Speaker 4: home for foster boys. Our first location will be in

1752
01:32:56,680 --> 01:32:58,240
Speaker 4: the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex.

1753
01:32:58,400 --> 01:33:00,200
Speaker 2: We will utilize the whole person.

1754
01:33:00,080 --> 01:33:04,320
Speaker 4: Approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate for themselves,

1755
01:33:04,600 --> 01:33:08,680
Speaker 4: and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless options that

1756
01:33:08,800 --> 01:33:13,360
Speaker 4: they thought were impossible. Though the young Kings will attend

1757
01:33:13,400 --> 01:33:16,120
Speaker 4: the local public schools that are in proximity the King

1758
01:33:16,160 --> 01:33:19,960
Speaker 4: of Royale. Our at home curriculum will broaden their worldview

1759
01:33:20,040 --> 01:33:23,960
Speaker 4: through participating in the arts, attending various cultural events, learning

1760
01:33:24,040 --> 01:33:28,200
Speaker 4: about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events and

1761
01:33:28,360 --> 01:33:33,000
Speaker 4: even relevant historical contexts, Introducing them to gardening and landscaping,

1762
01:33:33,080 --> 01:33:36,360
Speaker 4: and even caring for our animals on our form and

1763
01:33:36,479 --> 01:33:40,839
Speaker 4: on site stables. We just launched our startup capital campaign

1764
01:33:41,080 --> 01:33:43,240
Speaker 4: with the goal of raising two point eight million dollars.

1765
01:33:43,280 --> 01:33:45,720
Speaker 2: Now why two point eight million dollars? Well.

1766
01:33:45,760 --> 01:33:48,120
Speaker 4: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

1767
01:33:48,160 --> 01:33:52,080
Speaker 4: I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

1768
01:33:52,360 --> 01:33:54,400
Speaker 2: One of the most notable successes.

1769
01:33:54,160 --> 01:33:57,160
Speaker 4: Was that one of the videos went viral, garnering twenty

1770
01:33:57,360 --> 01:34:01,600
Speaker 4: eight million views. However, one of my biggest regrets is

1771
01:34:01,640 --> 01:34:03,920
Speaker 4: that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in

1772
01:34:04,040 --> 01:34:08,120
Speaker 4: implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community. So

1773
01:34:08,280 --> 01:34:12,280
Speaker 4: throughout the years, with much remorse, I reflect that I'm

1774
01:34:12,320 --> 01:34:15,280
Speaker 4: not maximizing that moment. I knew if at that time

1775
01:34:15,880 --> 01:34:18,800
Speaker 4: just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar, we

1776
01:34:18,920 --> 01:34:22,320
Speaker 4: would have raised at least two point eight million dollars

1777
01:34:22,520 --> 01:34:24,960
Speaker 4: that could have really established long term support for the

1778
01:34:25,000 --> 01:34:28,760
Speaker 4: homeless community, or at least started a long term initiative

1779
01:34:28,800 --> 01:34:29,120
Speaker 4: to do so.

1780
01:34:30,200 --> 01:34:34,280
Speaker 2: This is my do over, this is our new beginning.

1781
01:34:34,479 --> 01:34:37,960
Speaker 4: Together, we can attack this at the route by specifically

1782
01:34:38,080 --> 01:34:43,200
Speaker 4: helping our homeless Black boys, who are already disproportionately represented

1783
01:34:43,400 --> 01:34:47,000
Speaker 4: in the American fossil care system. I'm a terisar Wickfield.

1784
01:34:47,040 --> 01:34:50,400
Speaker 4: I've been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work

1785
01:34:50,479 --> 01:34:53,400
Speaker 4: with the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey.

1786
01:34:53,960 --> 01:34:58,360
Speaker 4: Despite those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly

1787
01:34:58,560 --> 01:35:04,240
Speaker 4: providing the infrastructure for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot

1788
01:35:04,280 --> 01:35:07,840
Speaker 4: com for more details, Crown a king and make a

1789
01:35:07,920 --> 01:35:09,240
Speaker 4: donation today.

1790
01:35:16,080 --> 01:35:19,280
Speaker 2: Man, that is such a fun couple. I really enjoyed

1791
01:35:19,360 --> 01:35:19,960
Speaker 2: talking to them.

1792
01:35:20,680 --> 01:35:22,479
Speaker 4: Well, here's my favorite part of the podcast where I

1793
01:35:22,479 --> 01:35:24,840
Speaker 4: speak to my future wifey, Dear future wifey.

1794
01:35:25,439 --> 01:35:28,959
Speaker 2: Life has taught me that time is our most fragile possession.

1795
01:35:29,720 --> 01:35:33,160
Speaker 4: Then the slip through our hands like grains of sand,

1796
01:35:33,200 --> 01:35:36,519
Speaker 4: and once they're gone, they can't be retrieved. That's why

1797
01:35:36,640 --> 01:35:39,400
Speaker 4: I vow to take full advantage of every moment God

1798
01:35:39,479 --> 01:35:40,639
Speaker 4: blesses us with each other.

1799
01:35:41,280 --> 01:35:43,840
Speaker 2: I don't want to merely exist by your side.

1800
01:35:43,880 --> 01:35:46,439
Speaker 4: I want to be fully present with you, to savor

1801
01:35:46,680 --> 01:35:49,960
Speaker 4: every laugh, to listen with my whole heart when you speak,

1802
01:35:50,560 --> 01:35:53,000
Speaker 4: to hold your hand a little longer than necessary, to

1803
01:35:53,520 --> 01:35:57,519
Speaker 4: memorize the light in your eyes, whether it's quiet mornings

1804
01:35:57,560 --> 01:36:00,960
Speaker 4: with coffee, late night talks, and stretching until dawn, or

1805
01:36:01,080 --> 01:36:05,000
Speaker 4: simply sitting in silence, breathing the same air. I want

1806
01:36:05,040 --> 01:36:08,800
Speaker 4: to be intentional with you. I won't wait for anniversaries

1807
01:36:08,840 --> 01:36:12,320
Speaker 4: to celebrate you. I won't wait for special occasions to

1808
01:36:12,400 --> 01:36:15,559
Speaker 4: speak life into you. Every moment with you is sacred,

1809
01:36:15,840 --> 01:36:16,799
Speaker 4: and I will treat.

1810
01:36:16,600 --> 01:36:19,680
Speaker 2: It as such. Our love deserves to be lived in

1811
01:36:19,920 --> 01:36:24,479
Speaker 2: real time, not postponed until tomorrow. So here's my promise.

1812
01:36:25,360 --> 01:36:30,200
Speaker 4: No rush goodbyes, no distracted conversations, no wasted chances to

1813
01:36:30,320 --> 01:36:33,679
Speaker 4: show you how much I love you. With you, every

1814
01:36:34,160 --> 01:36:37,200
Speaker 4: second matters, and our plan to make each moment count

1815
01:36:37,960 --> 01:36:40,840
Speaker 4: your future Hoby. I hope you enjoy this episode of

1816
01:36:40,880 --> 01:36:45,200
Speaker 4: the Dear Future WIFEI podcast. Remember be lit, live intentionally

1817
01:36:45,439 --> 01:36:49,479
Speaker 4: and transparently, and don't stop loving. Make sure to subscribe

1818
01:36:49,520 --> 01:36:52,160
Speaker 4: to our Dear Future Wife and YouTube channel. We're available

1819
01:36:52,200 --> 01:36:55,000
Speaker 4: on Apple Podcasts, Little Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher.

1820
01:36:55,280 --> 01:36:58,120
Speaker 2: Be welcome your support. Simply share our podcast with your

1821
01:36:58,120 --> 01:36:58,840
Speaker 2: friends and family.