1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:04,040
Speaker 1: He was married at the time. I instantly was like done,

2
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:04,440
Speaker 1: so I.

3
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:05,040
Speaker 2: Get ring on.

4
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,000
Speaker 3: I had it ring on. I explained to her that

5
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,240
Speaker 3: we were going.

6
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,840
Speaker 2: Through it, going through it, or going through the divorce.

7
00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:11,960
Speaker 2: Going through the divorce, Okay, you just be going through it.

8
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:17,200
Speaker 2: That day was Rico and Monica Davis are on.

9
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:21,320
Speaker 3: Thank you for Haaven.

10
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:22,080
Speaker 4: How did y'all meet?

11
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,079
Speaker 5: I had a guest to parents. She didn't even know

12
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,600
Speaker 5: anything about the group. The group called soutn Pepper Gang.

13
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,080
Speaker 5: A lot of people know us because they see us

14
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:31,560
Speaker 5: all over social media that goes viral. Southern Pepper Gang

15
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,239
Speaker 5: is a group of distinguished gentlemen that does amazing work

16
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:36,280
Speaker 5: in the community when we teach young men how to dress,

17
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:37,920
Speaker 5: how to pull up your pants, and how to tie

18
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:38,320
Speaker 5: a tie.

19
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:41,240
Speaker 2: When you got a divorce, did you desire marriage again?

20
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:41,960
Speaker 3: Absolutely not.

21
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:43,920
Speaker 2: You been married.

22
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,760
Speaker 6: Both of us have been married three times.

23
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,479
Speaker 1: After I had broke up with this guy, and I say,

24
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,440
Speaker 1: you know what, God, it's just you and me, and

25
00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:53,239
Speaker 1: I am okay with that. I felt like at that

26
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,600
Speaker 1: moment was when God was like, you know what, I'm

27
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,720
Speaker 1: a sprinkle a whole bunch of blessings on you because

28
00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,720
Speaker 1: you have finally said, you all right with it just

29
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:01,320
Speaker 1: being you and I.

30
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,880
Speaker 2: You pray the prayer and then you meet a guy

31
00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:07,360
Speaker 2: that still committed to someone else. Why didn't you say, oh,

32
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,400
Speaker 2: this is a test.

33
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,680
Speaker 6: Like you just said, is this a test?

34
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,160
Speaker 3: Do you really want me to entertain this?

35
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:11,600
Speaker 1: Like?

36
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,080
Speaker 3: How is this okay?

37
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:17,880
Speaker 1: What I learned was he moved with intent to me

38
00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:18,679
Speaker 1: when you're older.

39
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,840
Speaker 4: You know you said you started by saying you got

40
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,200
Speaker 4: divorced because you weren't happy. I want to unpack that.

41
00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:25,199
Speaker 4: What does that mean?

42
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:28,200
Speaker 3: The deal breaker is I debt will prostate cancer?

43
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,280
Speaker 5: And I remember vividly I had to go to do

44
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:35,080
Speaker 5: radiation for three months, five days a week, seven o'clock

45
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,120
Speaker 5: in the morning. I'm on that table, and you had

46
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,360
Speaker 5: someone that was there did not go with me to

47
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:43,119
Speaker 5: my radiation at all. Come on all My friends were like, dude,

48
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,080
Speaker 5: I have never seen you this happy before.

49
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,520
Speaker 2: This is your third marriage. The slogan for this marriage

50
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,880
Speaker 2: was third times the Charm. Why do you believe God

51
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:56,400
Speaker 2: allowed y'all to go through two prior broken covenants in

52
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,760
Speaker 2: order for y'all to have this where y'all feel like

53
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:07,000
Speaker 2: y'all are in y'all's promis land? What started as a

54
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:12,200
Speaker 2: search for understanding became a journey of transformation. Every letter

55
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,240
Speaker 2: that I wrote led me to this day, the day

56
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,680
Speaker 2: I got married November twenty second, twenty twenty five.

57
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:25,919
Speaker 7: Dear my forever, Forever is a long time. That's how

58
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:30,400
Speaker 7: long I'll love you. Those lyrics echo through every fiber

59
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,519
Speaker 7: of my soul at the very thought of you.

60
00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:37,560
Speaker 2: This journey has culminated with you as both the award

61
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:41,000
Speaker 2: and the reward of my pursuit of love. You are

62
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,919
Speaker 2: the award, the honor God placed before me, the recognition

63
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,520
Speaker 2: of growth, healing and becoming the man I needed to be.

64
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:53,320
Speaker 7: And you are the reward, the blessing given after endurance,

65
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:57,760
Speaker 7: the gift promised to those who refuse to faint.

66
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:02,880
Speaker 3: This isn't just story, this is for all of us.

67
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:04,840
Speaker 2: I'm the Terrassaar Whitfield.

68
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,000
Speaker 7: I'm Ashley are web Filder.

69
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,480
Speaker 4: Welcome to the podcast.

70
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,520
Speaker 2: Welcome to the DIFFU to WIFEI Podcast. I'm your host

71
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:16,960
Speaker 2: the Tarrasar Wifield.

72
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,160
Speaker 4: And I'm Ashley are with Field.

73
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,079
Speaker 2: Listen are you still shacking up with us?

74
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,000
Speaker 5: If you're still shacking up with us, come on, can

75
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,600
Speaker 5: we get a commitment hit that subscription button and subscribe.

76
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,880
Speaker 5: Make sure you turn on your notification bell so you'll

77
00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:29,440
Speaker 5: be notified about upcoming episodes.

78
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,120
Speaker 2: A lot of y'all want to be notified. You said

79
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:35,640
Speaker 2: I saw an episode a couple of episodes ago, and

80
00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:38,240
Speaker 2: someone said, I finally got a chance to catch a

81
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:42,240
Speaker 2: live premiere, which premiere is every Wednesday at nine a m.

82
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,600
Speaker 2: Central Standard time, and that's where we have this interactive

83
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,720
Speaker 2: live chat. Well, the way you find out about that

84
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,320
Speaker 2: is to subscribe and then turn on your notification. Another thing,

85
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,160
Speaker 2: we looked at our analytics and we found that fifty

86
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,880
Speaker 2: two percent of people listen to the podcast but haven't

87
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,200
Speaker 2: clicked that little button to say I want to subscribe

88
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,640
Speaker 2: to it. So go ahead, vote with your subscription, hit

89
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,560
Speaker 2: that simple button, turn on your notification so that we

90
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:12,000
Speaker 2: can show our advertisers and the podcast network that we're

91
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,240
Speaker 2: signed on to that this podcast is growing and y'are

92
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,720
Speaker 2: finding value in it, so that we can continue to

93
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,200
Speaker 2: offer it to you free of charge. I know you've

94
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,960
Speaker 2: seen a lot of podcasts where they've gone to putting

95
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:27,160
Speaker 2: their podcast behind a paywall, which what they do, and

96
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,480
Speaker 2: I support them totally for it because they're saying that listen,

97
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,880
Speaker 2: we have to get some type of revenue because it

98
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,719
Speaker 2: costs so much money to deliver these episodes on a

99
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,880
Speaker 2: weekly basis. So what we need you to do is

100
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:42,000
Speaker 2: just go ahead and hit that subscription button so we

101
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,880
Speaker 2: continue to provide this content to you free of charge. Well,

102
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:49,360
Speaker 2: today's episode is going to be fun. Matter of fact,

103
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,120
Speaker 2: I'm not going to get into a big introduction because

104
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,919
Speaker 2: we're going to just jump right on into it. So,

105
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,400
Speaker 2: without further ado, welcome to a Dear Future Wifey Podcasts

106
00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:00,960
Speaker 2: newly Wes Rico and Monica Davis.

107
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:05,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah for having us. Thank you. I appreciate being

108
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:06,719
Speaker 3: definitely appreciate it.

109
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,920
Speaker 2: So listen, y'all been married a long time? How long?

110
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,400
Speaker 2: At the recording today, how long have y'all been married?

111
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:14,719
Speaker 6: Five weeks?

112
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:15,320
Speaker 2: Six weeks?

113
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,480
Speaker 3: I keep saying like two weeks, and then she has

114
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:19,160
Speaker 3: to remind me.

115
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,320
Speaker 2: Why it feels like y'all just got married.

116
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:25,400
Speaker 3: It did, Yeah, I mean, but you know you as

117
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:25,920
Speaker 3: far I.

118
00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:28,039
Speaker 2: Felt like we pull the microphone, you stayed comfortable.

119
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, I felt like we've always been married. That's what

120
00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:33,159
Speaker 5: it felt like, you know. But when you're looking.

121
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,480
Speaker 3: While we are living something, Yeah, we started off like that.

122
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,360
Speaker 3: Not in the beginning, but yeah.

123
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,679
Speaker 1: We actually dated long distance for about six seven months,

124
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,880
Speaker 1: So six seven months, and then I moved to Texas.

125
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,800
Speaker 2: Okay, And where's your risen? Come from?

126
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:46,479
Speaker 6: Kansas City?

127
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,840
Speaker 2: So you were in Kansas City? And where were you

128
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:49,720
Speaker 2: in Texas?

129
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:50,080
Speaker 3: Houston?

130
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,240
Speaker 2: Yes, and you're in Houston. Okay.

131
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,400
Speaker 4: How did y'all meet?

132
00:05:54,800 --> 00:06:00,800
Speaker 3: I had a guest to parents, smile, it's just funny.

133
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:01,880
Speaker 6: It's a funny story.

134
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,840
Speaker 5: So yeah, I of course I had a guest to

135
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:10,080
Speaker 5: parents and one of her friend, well, I guess followed

136
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,280
Speaker 5: one of them other members in the group and she

137
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,360
Speaker 5: was just tagging along with them because she didn't even

138
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,320
Speaker 5: know anything.

139
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:16,560
Speaker 3: About the group.

140
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,640
Speaker 4: And what group are you referencing?

141
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,560
Speaker 3: Oh, the group called saltn Pepper Gang.

142
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,440
Speaker 2: And who saltn Pepper Gang is they?

143
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,800
Speaker 5: No, soutn Pepper Gang is a group of distinguished gentlemen

144
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,720
Speaker 5: that does amazing work in the community. Of course, a

145
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,240
Speaker 5: lot of people know us because they see us all

146
00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:33,760
Speaker 5: over social media that goes viral.

147
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,040
Speaker 3: But we are more than just that.

148
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,760
Speaker 5: We are men that does a lot as far as

149
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,400
Speaker 5: you know, going out to senior citizen homes, teaching young men.

150
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,320
Speaker 5: We call it Reach one teach one. We teach young

151
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,760
Speaker 5: men how to dress, how to pull up your pants,

152
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,280
Speaker 5: and how to tie a tie, compare themselves for a job.

153
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,839
Speaker 3: So these are the things that we do in the community.

154
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:54,520
Speaker 2: So you said continue. So you met her how she.

155
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:58,560
Speaker 5: Actually came there just to eat at this restaurant. I

156
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,760
Speaker 5: used to I love to eat, Yes, she loves to eat.

157
00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:04,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, So my girlfriends and I we kind of went

158
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,760
Speaker 1: through about two years of doing nothing but travel and

159
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,000
Speaker 1: just enjoying our best life. All of us were in

160
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,800
Speaker 1: a transition phase where we were experiencing divorce and becoming

161
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,120
Speaker 1: empty nesters and all of these things. It just happened

162
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,280
Speaker 1: to be the right time, so we just started traveling together.

163
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,320
Speaker 1: So we would travel outside of the country and then

164
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,080
Speaker 1: meet back in Houston, where one of them was living.

165
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:27,160
Speaker 1: So on one of our trips to Houston, they're like,

166
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,120
Speaker 1: we literally had a whole routine. Thursday we'd come in

167
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,480
Speaker 1: because there was another girlfriend that comes from Florida, so

168
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:37,080
Speaker 1: we'd come in on a Thursday and go out. So

169
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,400
Speaker 1: we literally were Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, you know, living

170
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:44,080
Speaker 1: our best life. And they're like, oh, my first question

171
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:44,880
Speaker 1: was were we eating?

172
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:51,080
Speaker 3: You know, we get I get off. Do you know

173
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:51,440
Speaker 3: each other?

174
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:53,119
Speaker 2: They grew up together?

175
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,480
Speaker 6: Get off the plane and I even would change at

176
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,280
Speaker 6: Hoppy Airport.

177
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,640
Speaker 3: It was a whole thing. So I had a routine,

178
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:02,480
Speaker 3: had a routine.

179
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:07,160
Speaker 1: So I'm getting dressed and we head to the event.

180
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:11,520
Speaker 1: And it was funny because I didn't even know he

181
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:12,240
Speaker 1: was watching me.

182
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:14,480
Speaker 3: I was in my own little world.

183
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:18,080
Speaker 1: I love to dance and had basically wanted some tacos

184
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,200
Speaker 1: because one of the other members was eating and I'm like.

185
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:20,640
Speaker 7: What is that?

186
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,520
Speaker 6: So anyway, I didn't know he was watching. That's the

187
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:24,120
Speaker 6: whole thing.

188
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,760
Speaker 1: I didn't know he was paying attention because I was

189
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,360
Speaker 1: just kind of at a place in life where I

190
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,120
Speaker 1: wasn't really looking.

191
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,360
Speaker 6: So I was just kind of there, like what year

192
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,080
Speaker 6: was this, twenty four?

193
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:34,840
Speaker 2: Twenty four?

194
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:39,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we went to another place and he kept saying, hey,

195
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,240
Speaker 1: y'all come into the next place.

196
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,959
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I don't know. I'm just going with them,

197
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:44,480
Speaker 3: and I'm like.

198
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,880
Speaker 6: Why does he care? In my head, I'm like why

199
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:47,480
Speaker 6: does he care?

200
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,400
Speaker 1: So we go to the next place and he noticed

201
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,560
Speaker 1: that I worked out, and so he kept talking about, oh,

202
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:54,920
Speaker 1: you want to go to the gym, and I'm like,

203
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:56,200
Speaker 1: that's a weird date.

204
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,199
Speaker 3: I thought, this is weird. You want to go to

205
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:01,520
Speaker 3: the gym.

206
00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,080
Speaker 5: Well, I saw that she work out, and I mean

207
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,599
Speaker 5: I love to go to the gym and workout, So

208
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,480
Speaker 5: I thought it was a good idead work out. I

209
00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:09,439
Speaker 5: mean because at that moment, I wasn't really looking either.

210
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,120
Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, I saw you like to work out.

211
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,439
Speaker 5: I was like, okay, cool, I can find me a

212
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,400
Speaker 5: workout partner. You know, because even after she went back,

213
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,599
Speaker 5: you know, we just talked on the phone. I just

214
00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:20,040
Speaker 5: told her a lot about me, she told me a

215
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:20,600
Speaker 5: lot about her.

216
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:21,640
Speaker 6: Well, let's back up.

217
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,600
Speaker 1: So the next day he sends me a DM about

218
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,839
Speaker 1: the gym, and I thought, well, first of all, I

219
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:29,800
Speaker 1: had already worked.

220
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,880
Speaker 3: Out, So I sent him a picture of sposed to

221
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,240
Speaker 3: work out at eleven.

222
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:37,040
Speaker 1: Because I thought he was full of it. I'm going

223
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,319
Speaker 1: So I sent him a picture and I'm like, already done.

224
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:40,480
Speaker 3: That was it.

225
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,240
Speaker 6: So he's like, well, what are you doing tonight? I'm like,

226
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,000
Speaker 6: I don't know, I'm hanging with my girlfriends. So we

227
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:45,760
Speaker 6: ended up meeting nothing.

228
00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:47,719
Speaker 2: So he just wasn't interested at the beginning. Then did

229
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,440
Speaker 2: you sound you're giving that energy? Like what she left

230
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:51,000
Speaker 2: out a part.

231
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:56,360
Speaker 5: What's that when when she was there eating my friend's tacle,

232
00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,760
Speaker 5: some guy just popped out of nowhere, grabbed her and

233
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:01,280
Speaker 5: they left.

234
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,880
Speaker 6: Really we didn't leave, we went outside.

235
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,839
Speaker 5: Well I didn't know who this guy is because my

236
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:10,040
Speaker 5: friend was like, oh, forget her, some dude just came

237
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,840
Speaker 5: into don't even think about her no more.

238
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,880
Speaker 3: So I just forgot about her. And then I was like, oh,

239
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,720
Speaker 3: she came back, but she said they just walked outside.

240
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:16,959
Speaker 2: Yeah.

241
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,240
Speaker 3: It was a guy something or some guy you knew, Yeah,

242
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:20,559
Speaker 3: he was.

243
00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:21,319
Speaker 5: It was weird.

244
00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:23,880
Speaker 1: It was somebody I had met on a previous visit

245
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,280
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, I'm gonna be in town.

246
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:26,040
Speaker 5: That was it.

247
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,720
Speaker 1: The next thing I know, he's like, are you in town?

248
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,920
Speaker 1: I'm like yeah, but I met an event and he's like,

249
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:32,439
Speaker 1: where are you at?

250
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:32,920
Speaker 3: And I'm like.

251
00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:37,160
Speaker 5: He pumped out, and you got like about twelve of

252
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,199
Speaker 5: us SPG members. So you got all these men in

253
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,400
Speaker 5: there with these extings. He didn't even have a beard.

254
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,520
Speaker 3: He walked in and he looked and he was like, yeah,

255
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:49,040
Speaker 3: we out of here. So that was the end of that.

256
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,120
Speaker 6: Like I didn't even know, Like, like I said, I

257
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:52,680
Speaker 6: hadn't even expected that, so.

258
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,000
Speaker 1: So we the next he asked if what we were

259
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,800
Speaker 1: doing that night, So we ended up meeting up later

260
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:03,920
Speaker 1: on and then went to a late brunch, I mean

261
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:08,319
Speaker 1: a breakfast. It was like early late at night, but

262
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:14,000
Speaker 1: in Houston. But what happened at that moment I think

263
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,559
Speaker 1: was a turning point because we had a very long conversation.

264
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,040
Speaker 1: I say he gave me a presentation. That's what my

265
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:23,880
Speaker 1: friends say, because it was about two hours of conversation things.

266
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:28,599
Speaker 3: I had to say, you always have things, but he

267
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:29,960
Speaker 3: always has something.

268
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,600
Speaker 1: But so during that what I learned in that conversation

269
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:39,000
Speaker 1: was he was very passionate about his purpose And anytime

270
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:43,280
Speaker 1: a person is that passionate about their purpose, that means

271
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,839
Speaker 1: that they are just a passionate person and they give

272
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,280
Speaker 1: one hundred percent on anything that they do, one hundred

273
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:48,800
Speaker 1: and ten percent.

274
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:50,679
Speaker 6: So that was what I took out of that.

275
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:54,480
Speaker 1: And so after that conversation I learned something else that

276
00:11:54,559 --> 00:12:01,040
Speaker 1: I didn't know. He was married at the time, and

277
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:05,120
Speaker 1: so I instantly was like done. I'm like, oh yeah,

278
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,680
Speaker 1: my friends saw it. I didn't know because I wasn't

279
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,719
Speaker 1: looking wasn't looking for a ring, wasn't looking for I

280
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:10,600
Speaker 1: wasn't looking, so I.

281
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:17,160
Speaker 3: Had a ring on. But during the time, I explained

282
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,800
Speaker 3: to her that we were going.

283
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,240
Speaker 2: Through it, going through it or going through a divorce.

284
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,240
Speaker 2: Going through the divorce okay, but you can just been

285
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:23,800
Speaker 2: going through it that.

286
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:29,240
Speaker 3: Day, okay.

287
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,600
Speaker 1: So my friends were like, so you know you had

288
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,880
Speaker 1: a ring go on. I'm like, oh no, I wasn't looking.

289
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,679
Speaker 1: So I instantly was like, oh, yeah, I'm done. So

290
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,080
Speaker 1: he had actually messaged me the next day about meeting

291
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,680
Speaker 1: up and I was like, yeah, no, I'm gonna hang

292
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,160
Speaker 1: with my friends. So he had known I was going

293
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:50,680
Speaker 1: back home on that the next day, so he messaged

294
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,000
Speaker 1: me and some I don't remember what the message was,

295
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,079
Speaker 1: but I was like, uh, yeah, my friends noticed that

296
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,959
Speaker 1: you were married, so I'm yeah. So he's like, we

297
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,000
Speaker 1: need to talk. I said, I'll call you when I

298
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,760
Speaker 1: get home. So I got back to Kansas City talked

299
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:07,000
Speaker 1: to call them, and he began to explain to me

300
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,720
Speaker 1: most of us who have been married and gone through

301
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:15,839
Speaker 1: a divorce probably can't agree that we were already it

302
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:19,360
Speaker 1: was over before over before the divorce, and I could

303
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,080
Speaker 1: understand that because I was I literally knew in twenty

304
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:26,080
Speaker 1: seventeen that I was checked out, but it took when

305
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,560
Speaker 1: in twelve, I filed in twenty one, but it wasn't

306
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:35,120
Speaker 1: final until twenty three. Because yeah, so I had that.

307
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,720
Speaker 1: I knew what that felt like to literally be there

308
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,240
Speaker 1: but not be there. So when he explained it tonight,

309
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:42,160
Speaker 1: I understood.

310
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:43,280
Speaker 5: And so.

311
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,640
Speaker 1: He was in the process of filing and all of

312
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,959
Speaker 1: those things, so I understood. So we took our time

313
00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:54,000
Speaker 1: and just had conversation for like six weeks straight. We

314
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,880
Speaker 1: just talked every single day, got to know each other.

315
00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:02,200
Speaker 1: So when we finally reconnect did or reconnected, we already

316
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:05,560
Speaker 1: knew we loved each other that first moment he came

317
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,679
Speaker 1: to Kansas City, it was already we had built a

318
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:11,880
Speaker 1: friendship by then and talked about everything from sun up

319
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,000
Speaker 1: to sundown. There were times we'd spend three hours, four

320
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,680
Speaker 1: hours on the phone. We fell asleep on the phone.

321
00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,600
Speaker 1: So we had just developed this beautiful friendship by then.

322
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,840
Speaker 4: So you continued, Sorry, I just want to know how

323
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,400
Speaker 4: long did you continue to wear your ring?

324
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:25,480
Speaker 3: Oh?

325
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,120
Speaker 5: I had stopped wearing my ring after that last day. Okay, Yeah,

326
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,000
Speaker 5: because at that point we wasn't even in the same room.

327
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,560
Speaker 5: She was in her room and I was in my room.

328
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,280
Speaker 2: Okay, because I about to ask you where y'all still

329
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:34,720
Speaker 2: living together?

330
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,200
Speaker 3: Yeah? We still lived together. Yeah, and y'all still living together?

331
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,840
Speaker 5: And you was caking on the phone with her to

332
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,560
Speaker 5: the wee hours of the night. Y'all just sitting on

333
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:42,239
Speaker 5: the phones.

334
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:42,800
Speaker 3: In my own room.

335
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,600
Speaker 1: Well, I will let me say this. He was very respectful.

336
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,240
Speaker 1: If she was home, he wouldn't talk. We wouldn't have

337
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,560
Speaker 1: a conversations. It would be text because he didn't want

338
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,560
Speaker 1: to feel like, you know, he's on the phone caking.

339
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,320
Speaker 5: So and that didn't come to Kansas until I moved

340
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,160
Speaker 5: out of the house. So we were just on the phone.

341
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,720
Speaker 5: We didn't see each other. We were just on the phone.

342
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,880
Speaker 5: So once I move out of the house, that's when

343
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,280
Speaker 5: I felt like I have more for freedom.

344
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,240
Speaker 2: Did y'all have to understanding that you and your wife

345
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,760
Speaker 2: have that conversation where it's like, you know, we ain't

346
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,840
Speaker 2: we no longer together? I'm dating you can date whatever,

347
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,200
Speaker 2: and I'm just gonna respect you by not bringing nobody

348
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:16,560
Speaker 2: to No.

349
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:17,440
Speaker 3: We didn't talk like that.

350
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,280
Speaker 5: I mean, you know, between me and her, we knew

351
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,520
Speaker 5: it wasn't going to work because of things that she

352
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,480
Speaker 5: has done, and I just couldn't tolerate it no more,

353
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,200
Speaker 5: and I was like, I'm out, you know. So we

354
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,040
Speaker 5: talked about it and we actually broke up six months

355
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,920
Speaker 5: into the marriage, and then we said, you know what,

356
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,680
Speaker 5: let's try Well, I think it was more me, let's

357
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,680
Speaker 5: try to see if I can make this work. And

358
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,840
Speaker 5: I felt like I was forcing something that wasn't there

359
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:43,360
Speaker 5: and I wasn't happy.

360
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,680
Speaker 2: And so you just so y'all in the tail end

361
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,240
Speaker 2: of it, because she said that, y'all, then you filed

362
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:53,560
Speaker 2: for divorce after y'all started building the friendship together when

363
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,400
Speaker 2: you initially met her, you hadn't filed at that point.

364
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,840
Speaker 5: Oh no, we were already fouled. Are you follow through

365
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,160
Speaker 5: the process? Like, remember we broke up in six months.

366
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,080
Speaker 5: She had me served these She served me the papers. Oh,

367
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,520
Speaker 5: and that means the divorce was like, hey, I think

368
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,800
Speaker 5: the lottery was like like twenty something million.

369
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,280
Speaker 3: I said, I'm going to go to the gas station.

370
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,600
Speaker 3: You need anything. She was like, no, I'm good.

371
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,760
Speaker 5: I literally it took me sixteen minutes to go and

372
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,520
Speaker 5: get a lottery ticket. When I came back, she sent

373
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:23,280
Speaker 5: me an email and she had these papers saying she

374
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,000
Speaker 5: want a divorce.

375
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,680
Speaker 3: I'm like, in sixteen minutes. Yeah.

376
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,800
Speaker 5: So in other words, she already had the email, but

377
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,200
Speaker 5: it was just hey, I want to send it to you,

378
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,440
Speaker 5: you know. So it was the second time she sent me.

379
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,320
Speaker 5: The first time she sent it to me, I didn't

380
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,800
Speaker 5: see it until like a day later, and I was like,

381
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:36,880
Speaker 5: I didn't paid no attention to it.

382
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,040
Speaker 3: We tried working it out and she gave it to

383
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,440
Speaker 3: me again. Yeah, I thought it was spam. I thought

384
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:41,840
Speaker 3: it was spam.

385
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:47,560
Speaker 2: And this my wife send me this paper email account,

386
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,200
Speaker 2: so you know, and.

387
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,440
Speaker 5: Then again, you know, when you when you're not happy

388
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,560
Speaker 5: and you don't want to be in a relationship. The

389
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,160
Speaker 5: last thing I'm going to do is force anybody to

390
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,560
Speaker 5: do something they don't want to do. So I moved

391
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,240
Speaker 5: on and the best decision I ever made my life life.

392
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,600
Speaker 1: And trust me, I questioned him multiple times. You're coming

393
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:08,120
Speaker 1: out of a marriage, you have this group?

394
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:09,960
Speaker 3: Are you sure?

395
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,120
Speaker 6: I asked him.

396
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:16,920
Speaker 3: My homeboys asked me, man, you live in Houston, you single?

397
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,639
Speaker 3: You sure you want to do this?

398
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,480
Speaker 2: Same because a lot of people may not know what

399
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,479
Speaker 2: you mean when you say live in Houston.

400
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,320
Speaker 5: We I mean we just met a pastor yesterday and

401
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,240
Speaker 5: the guy was like, man, I went to Houston like

402
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,600
Speaker 5: about three years ago and I haven't been back. I

403
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,240
Speaker 5: went on Thursday. We partied. This is a past I'm

404
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:41,120
Speaker 5: talking to. We party Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I didn't

405
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,840
Speaker 5: leave until Monday. I said, oh, so you know not

406
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:43,320
Speaker 5: to leave on.

407
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:43,959
Speaker 3: You don't leave.

408
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, we didn't uston on a Sunday.

409
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:47,800
Speaker 7: Yeah.

410
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:52,040
Speaker 3: Even got a song that says that, I mean, Houston

411
00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:52,560
Speaker 3: is Houston.

412
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:56,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's a different beast. It reminds me of

413
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,280
Speaker 1: Atlanta back in the day. It's the new Atlanta but bigger.

414
00:17:59,560 --> 00:17:59,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

415
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,359
Speaker 6: And the traffic's worse.

416
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, And I mean you hear other people talk

417
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,639
Speaker 5: about it, like when you go to Houston, you got

418
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 5: to be prepared because Houston is different, you know. And

419
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,399
Speaker 5: I mean, yes, at that moment, I was single. But

420
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 5: I've always been the type of person that loves to

421
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,440
Speaker 5: be in their relationship. I mean, in my twenties and thirties, yeah,

422
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,640
Speaker 5: I want to be single to have fun. But when

423
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,520
Speaker 5: you get a certain age in life, you want that

424
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 5: one person. I want that one person that I can

425
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,159
Speaker 5: talk to when I come home, tell them how my

426
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,160
Speaker 5: day is. Do I want to be can I tell

427
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,920
Speaker 5: us to a different woman every night living in Houston. Yes,

428
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:36,640
Speaker 5: but that's not what I wanted.

429
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:37,159
Speaker 2: That's not me.

430
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,119
Speaker 5: And I found my person. I found someone that was

431
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:43,800
Speaker 5: just like me, you know, and other relationships that I've

432
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,520
Speaker 5: been in. I thought this opposite of a track, it

433
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:50,400
Speaker 5: might work. It didn't work for me. For me having

434
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,880
Speaker 5: someone that pretty much almost the same thing that I did.

435
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,240
Speaker 5: I mean, we down to the music, down to the

436
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,800
Speaker 5: you know, we compete, talk about who the best dancer is.

437
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 3: But she's like my friend, you know, and uh, we

438
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 3: just have fun.

439
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,080
Speaker 4: But before we get too far away from that, I

440
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,159
Speaker 4: just want to understand. Did your ex wife know that

441
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,119
Speaker 4: you were talking to her?

442
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't know. Okay, I don't know. Now

443
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,640
Speaker 3: do I know if she was talking to other people?

444
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:15,800
Speaker 2: Oh?

445
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,200
Speaker 3: Yes, I know. I had ways. Yes, I found out.

446
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 3: Yes I did, so you had I had ways to

447
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,760
Speaker 3: find out. So I think she knew. She knew. I

448
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:25,360
Speaker 3: think she knew.

449
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:26,399
Speaker 6: Okay, I think she knew.

450
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,960
Speaker 3: Because she's a woman and she just feels like a

451
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 3: woman's intuition.

452
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,640
Speaker 1: No, I'm gonna spill it. This is why I think

453
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:38,080
Speaker 1: she knows. Because the night when he mentioned about going

454
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 1: to the second spot. My friend who lives in Houston,

455
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,399
Speaker 1: knows his wife, doesn't know her personally, knows of her

456
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:52,480
Speaker 1: all the things. She was there and we weren't really

457
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:57,720
Speaker 1: communicating like that, but she observed us taking a picture together.

458
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,119
Speaker 1: But he's in a group, so he takes pictures with

459
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 1: many women, but the picture that we took, and I

460
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 1: tell him to this day, if I saw my husband

461
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:12,040
Speaker 1: taking a picture with a woman like that, I'm gonna

462
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,199
Speaker 1: serve you divorce papers too.

463
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 6: I'm gonna be very honest with you.

464
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 3: One thing about me. I'mna be very honest. I'm gonna

465
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 3: tell it. I'm a sister. I'm like one percent.

466
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I'm gonna divorce you too. So whether

467
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 1: that triggered it, whether that pushed it till over the

468
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,919
Speaker 1: I don't know. But I did have respect for her,

469
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,960
Speaker 1: and that's why when I found out, I was like, oh, oh, No,

470
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,920
Speaker 1: I didn't know she was there. I didn't know any

471
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 1: of this until the next day when I well, actually

472
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,440
Speaker 1: it was a day after when we had went to

473
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,320
Speaker 1: that dinner or to the breakfast and had that conversation.

474
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:46,359
Speaker 1: It wasn't ntil after that when my girlfriend finally said,

475
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 1: so I know them a little bit through this and this,

476
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 1: and his wife was stre they're watching you take this picture,

477
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:55,440
Speaker 1: and I was like, wait, what, okay, stop stop, I

478
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,240
Speaker 1: don't First of all, I'm not doing that.

479
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,399
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna talk to a married man.

480
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 3: And so I was done.

481
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,399
Speaker 1: And so that's why on Sunday, or the day that

482
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,680
Speaker 1: he reached out, I was actually Easter Sunday and my

483
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 1: girlfriends and I went to church and I was like, oh, yeah,

484
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,119
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not entertaining this, and so that was

485
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,879
Speaker 1: why the conversation came after that.

486
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,240
Speaker 6: But for me, I was instantly like, oh, no, one

487
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:18,040
Speaker 6: thing I'm not going to do.

488
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 1: I'm a Christian. I'm not getting if. And I even

489
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: asked him you are you sure? Y'all need to work

490
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 1: that out, like are you sure it's not salvageable. I

491
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 1: don't want to come in between anybody's marriage. I know

492
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 1: what I felt in my own, so absolutely not. But

493
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 1: like I said, we had a long conversation about it,

494
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 1: and like I said, I was in mind four years

495
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,640
Speaker 1: and new I knew in twenty seventeen and didn't file

496
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 1: to twenty one, so.

497
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 3: For four years.

498
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,960
Speaker 2: Final in twenty twenty four, twenty three, twenty three. It

499
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 2: was final on twenty twenty three, and y'all met in

500
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four. When you got a divorce that you

501
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 2: see hope of it, that you desire marriage again, absolutely not. Okay.

502
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 1: I think it's funny because I was like, oh, I'm good,

503
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm gonna be single, and I'm okay with it.

504
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 3: But I didn't.

505
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 2: You been married.

506
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 1: Both of us have been married three times, so it

507
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:11,359
Speaker 1: was kind of interesting. My first marriage, I was thirty

508
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,919
Speaker 1: and it lasted a year. It was Yeah, I got

509
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,440
Speaker 1: a beautiful daughter out of it and was able to

510
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,159
Speaker 1: move on life. We knew we shouldn't have gotten married,

511
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 1: and so for five I don't think I got remarried

512
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 1: for another five or six years because I was like

513
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 1: thirty five when I got married the second time and

514
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 1: stayed married for ten years. So for me, I had

515
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 1: gotten to a point where I was like, no, I'm okay.

516
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 1: And what took place was I dated in between, you know,

517
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 1: with Houston and I even met. I remember meeting this

518
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:51,200
Speaker 1: guy and he was like, why why should I settle down?

519
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 1: I live in Houston. He told me that, and I said, okay,

520
00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 1: all this I mean you know, all this time, you

521
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:01,119
Speaker 1: don't what the single streets look like.

522
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,160
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, these single streets are different.

523
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 4: Out here, these people, he said, But the response is

524
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:09,880
Speaker 4: because I live in Houston.

525
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 1: I live in Houston, why should I settle down? I

526
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 1: was like, okay, So I said, you know what, these

527
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 1: single streets probably aren't for me. But what I did

528
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 1: have for that guy was respect because at least he

529
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,720
Speaker 1: was like up front instead of trying to have so

530
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 1: that I actually had a lot of respect for him.

531
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 1: And but it taught me something to It taught me

532
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 1: how to move. So I did date here and there,

533
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 1: but nothing concrete. I was dating a guy actually shortly

534
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,159
Speaker 1: before I met him. We had broken up and it

535
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 1: was something that happened. I was in Houston. A guy

536
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 1: asked me for my phone number and I gave it

537
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 1: to him, and I said, I'm going to go home

538
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,119
Speaker 1: and break up with this guy because I shouldn't be

539
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 1: out here giving my phone number. That means he's not

540
00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 1: my person. And so I went home and we broke cup,

541
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 1: and after that I decided I was good. I was like,

542
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not even dating. I'm just gonna

543
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,400
Speaker 1: be me. I'm gonna enjoy.

544
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 6: I don't say that.

545
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 2: My bad.

546
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 6: Well, you know love.

547
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 3: Purple rain.

548
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:27,400
Speaker 2: What's purple rain?

549
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 3: She said, I'm good right now, it's just me in

550
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:34,360
Speaker 3: purple rain.

551
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 2: Was involved.

552
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 3: Let's just say that.

553
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 2: So let's just say.

554
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 3: About chords come out, you know, like you can't say that,

555
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 3: yes we can't.

556
00:24:50,160 --> 00:25:02,159
Speaker 1: We being transparent, So okay in my life, but let

557
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:06,359
Speaker 1: me tell you after that, I remember I had I

558
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,159
Speaker 1: was living in this this loft and it was just

559
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 1: it was huge, it had windows, and it allowed me

560
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 1: to grow into this independent spiritual person. So I went

561
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 1: in my room one day and after I had broke

562
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 1: up with this guy, and I said, you know what, God,

563
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: it's just you and me, and I am okay with that.

564
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 1: And I felt like at that moment was when God

565
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:34,640
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, I'm gonna sprinkle a whole

566
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 1: bunch of blessings on you because you had finally said

567
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 1: you all right with it just being you and I.

568
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 6: I don't think I had experienced that. And some point

569
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:42,920
Speaker 6: in my life, I'd always had.

570
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 1: A boyfriend or a marriage or something, and it was

571
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 1: never a time when I said I am literally okay

572
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:51,639
Speaker 1: if it's just you and me.

573
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 6: For the rest of my life.

574
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 1: But unfortunately, or fortunately not unfortunately fortunately, about six weeks

575
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 1: later I meet there he.

576
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 2: Go, take, why do you look at Rico as being

577
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 2: a test? You know, because you got to think you

578
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,399
Speaker 2: prayed a prayer and then you meet a guy that

579
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 2: still committed to someone else. Why didn't you say, oh,

580
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 2: this is a test, this.

581
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 3: Is a test?

582
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 2: You know?

583
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 1: That's an interesting question. I think for me, what I

584
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 1: learned was he moved with intent. So what I mean

585
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,200
Speaker 1: by that was even though once I found that out

586
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 1: and we had that conversation, there was a lot of

587
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 1: intent behind him as a person, and like I said,

588
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 1: that passion that he had.

589
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 6: But I prayed about this because literally I said, God,

590
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 6: did you bring me.

591
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 3: A man it was married?

592
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:42,680
Speaker 6: Like what this is not?

593
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 1: I don't think this is supposed And that was why

594
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: I was like, absolutely not, because I don't think I

595
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,399
Speaker 1: would do this. And I had lots of conversations and

596
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 1: that it was an internal struggle for me because I'm thinking, like,

597
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 1: like you just said, is this a test?

598
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 6: Do you really want me to entertain this? Like how

599
00:26:58,359 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 6: is this okay?

600
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 1: But again I was able to refer to my own

601
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 1: experience and say, I mean I kind of get it

602
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 1: because I understood.

603
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,919
Speaker 6: I went through that process too.

604
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 1: I didn't date before I was well, but we had

605
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 1: totally separated, I filed for divorce, and he had moved

606
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 1: out all of those things. I probably started dating maybe

607
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:25,359
Speaker 1: like five six months later, So my experience was a

608
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:27,920
Speaker 1: little bit different. But I still knew that disconnect. I

609
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 1: knew what it was to disconnect from somebody and then

610
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 1: move on with your life. And as you're once, you're

611
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 1: to me, when you're older, you know, you know you

612
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:38,199
Speaker 1: don't have to sit up here.

613
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 6: You know what you don't want. You may not always

614
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 6: know exactly.

615
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,399
Speaker 1: You might not have this perfect package, these boxes that

616
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 1: everybody talks about. You may not have that, but you

617
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: know that, Okay, this person possesses this you know, personality

618
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 1: or they have this going for them, and you know

619
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,439
Speaker 1: I knew, probably I.

620
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 6: Probably say a week into the conversations, I knew.

621
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 2: And so what made you move with such intentionality while

622
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 2: still being in a covenant with somebody else?

623
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 3: I wasn't happy, and for me, I kind of was

624
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 3: just looking for somebody that brought me peace.

625
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 2: He was actually looking for it. So while you were married,

626
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,879
Speaker 2: you were still so you were you're married to this

627
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 2: woman looking for a wife, or you're just looking for

628
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 2: a good friend. Oh, just a good friend, just somebody

629
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,679
Speaker 2: I can talk to, someone that I feel I can

630
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 2: relate to, because a lot of times, again, you know,

631
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 2: I travel a lot, and when I'm coming back from

632
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 2: out of town, the last thing any man wants to

633
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 2: do is come home to an house and argue, you know.

634
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 2: And I mean sometimes, you know, on my trips there's

635
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 2: some funny things, some bad things, but I want to

636
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 2: come home and talk to her about it, not argue,

637
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 2: you know.

638
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 3: And definitely it for me.

639
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 5: It cannot be a woman that is very insecure because

640
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 5: I'm always around a lot of other women. But you

641
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 5: can't get mad at the women. You have to get

642
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 5: mad at me. And if you don't trust me, then

643
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 5: you're not the one I'm supposed to be with in

644
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 5: the first place.

645
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 3: Like with her, she trusts me. I don't give her

646
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 3: a reason not to trust me.

647
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 2: You heard her say that if you took a picture

648
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 2: with another woman the way you took a picture with her,

649
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 2: you'll come home to divorce papers. So what kind of

650
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 2: what kind of picture that you take with her that

651
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 2: you no longer take with other women, because clearly she

652
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 2: ain't sent you no divorce papers for the time.

653
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 3: She the one that says, give me your phone, I'll

654
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 3: take the picture. Take the picture for us.

655
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 2: But how what was the position the polls that y'all

656
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 2: were doing. Well, let me ask Minica why he was

657
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:35,959
Speaker 2: all up on this man?

658
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 3: Remember, but you know what, actually on the picture I

659
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 3: had my arms crossed, she had. We had all back

660
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 3: against each other. Yeah, and it's just it's just the

661
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 3: we I get that.

662
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 4: That's a little buddy, buddy, you shouldn't.

663
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 3: It was like, no, no, I wouldn't do that anyway.

664
00:29:57,840 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have did that anyway.

665
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 6: But I just I get you just a little bit more. Yeah, yeah,

666
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 6: we're a team.

667
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, perspective. You wouldn't literally divorced them about that,

668
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 2: would you? Or would you have a conversation congress because

669
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 2: don't know your cutoff game. You've been married, you know,

670
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 2: because when you find people that's been divorced multiple times,

671
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 2: they tolerance level.

672
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 6: So he actually has friends that have.

673
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: Early on in the relationship, there was a girl, but

674
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 1: her intention I knew her intentions, but she was like

675
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 1: all up on them.

676
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 6: But I wouldn't. I'm not threatened by that.

677
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 5: I'm just like girl, go somewhere, and a lot of

678
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 5: times I let it just kind of like brush past me.

679
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 5: I don't really feed into all that. And she'll be like, well,

680
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 5: I know how women are and this and that, but

681
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,280
Speaker 5: once again, you have to trust me. Yeah, because I'm

682
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 5: not in my fifties, maybe my twenties and thirties, but

683
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 5: in my fifties, I'm about business. And if it's nothing

684
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 5: that we can talk about to help elevate each other,

685
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 5: then to come can stop where it's at well.

686
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 4: And I want to. I want to go back though,

687
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 4: because you are in your fifties and some people I

688
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 4: hear them say sometimes you said you started by saying

689
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 4: you got divorced because you weren't happy. Yes, I want

690
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 4: to unpack that because when we talk about happiness that

691
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 4: it can be emotionally charged. People can be like, well,

692
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 4: what you weren't happy?

693
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 6: Like, what does that mean? Is that enough?

694
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 4: I'm not always happy. Sometimes I don't even like myself,

695
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 4: Like there's a lot of conversations about walking away because

696
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 4: you weren't happy. We have a lot of single women

697
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 4: that watch the podcast, and I want to put perspective

698
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 4: around that so can you unpack you said I didn't.

699
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 4: I got divorced because I wasn't happy. What does that

700
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 4: mean for me?

701
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 3: I might not say a.

702
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 5: Lot, but I am very observant, and what I was

703
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 5: doing was started observing her actions. And I'm from the

704
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 5: old school. When you get accused of things that you're

705
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 5: not doing, I start to look at the other person.

706
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 5: Why am I getting accused of so many different things?

707
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 5: For me, I'm an open book policy. I can leave

708
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 5: my phone faced up in front of you. I don't

709
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:10,240
Speaker 5: think like that.

710
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 3: I don't.

711
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 5: I don't have the time to be doing these little

712
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 5: sneaky things, so I do my research. I was with

713
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 5: someone who did those things. I was. I was that

714
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,800
Speaker 5: person that would have to go downstairs and walk back

715
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:23,640
Speaker 5: up and they slam the phone down real quick. You know.

716
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 5: I had to deal with those things. I have to

717
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:29,480
Speaker 5: deal with finding out that this person been talking to somebody.

718
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 5: Every morning, the person would tell them, hey, good morning, beautiful.

719
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 5: Why is you are married? Why are you even entertaining this?

720
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 5: That don't mean nothing, He's just saying why. You know,

721
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 5: even when we were engaged finding out, men were saying, hey,

722
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 5: good morning, beautiful, I gotta go to Dallas and oh,

723
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 5: I thought you live in Houston.

724
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 3: No, I got to go to Dallas to take care

725
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 3: some business. But when I come back, can you swing by?

726
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 3: I can't do that.

727
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: You know.

728
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 3: I got me a whole fiance at the house. Lolol.

729
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 3: My thing is this, This is when we was engaged.

730
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 3: Why you entertain hating that?

731
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 5: So for me, I know I'm good. So it makes

732
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 5: me think sometimes people like to know that they still

733
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 5: got it. Well, I'm going to give you all that energy,

734
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 5: get what you want because I'm no longer want to

735
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 5: sit there because I know me it can't be something

736
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 5: I'm doing wrong. Sometimes people just like to know that

737
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 5: they still got it. And I think that's what I

738
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 5: was dealing with.

739
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 4: And I think that's helpful because I didn't want people

740
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 4: to just run with Why just wasn't happy? Oh no, no, no,

741
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 4: you know that's because sometimes people think that and we

742
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 4: since we know how important this covenant is to God,

743
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 4: I just wanted to make sure people didn't run with Well,

744
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 4: he just wasn't happy.

745
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 3: So it's.

746
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 2: Sounds like sounds like you walke up. Just I'm just

747
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 2: not happy with the person. This person right here to

748
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 2: make me smile forget this.

749
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 5: Older folks do things like that, you know, Like I

750
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 5: had an uncle, God blessed that he passed away. I

751
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 5: just remember, you know, on my first marriage, and I

752
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 5: was like, uncle, you know, what can you tell me

753
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 5: about marriage? He was like, well, you know, I don't know.

754
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 5: I just woke up one day. I love my wife

755
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 5: no more. Well, thank you, uncle, I talked to you

756
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 5: another time. That's just how they are, you know. It's like,

757
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 5: I can't learn from him. You expect to go to

758
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,719
Speaker 5: your uncle for advice. And he just said that, and

759
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,319
Speaker 5: he went and married a younger girl and he died

760
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 5: of a heart attack.

761
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 2: Got him rest in peace, uncle. So that was the

762
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 2: advice you got. H poor advice. Uh so you said

763
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,919
Speaker 2: that it was based upon because you tested on it early,

764
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 2: at the very beginning of some things that she did

765
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,400
Speaker 2: that you started recognizing that you could no longer deal with.

766
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:47,280
Speaker 2: So when you started talking to Monica, you were wanting

767
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 2: a friend. You were looking at her as somebody that

768
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,319
Speaker 2: talked to When did you see it as Monica? Did

769
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 2: it seem all friendly? Like Rico trying to say, or

770
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 2: was he was?

771
00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 5: He?

772
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 1: I will say I used to my friends is all

773
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 1: the time like he he was. He did present it

774
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 1: as friendship. We never you know, there's a lot of

775
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: men out here you have conversations with. In the first

776
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 1: somehow it gets to yeah, somehow, some way, send me

777
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: a picture, send me this.

778
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 3: There was never that.

779
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:23,279
Speaker 1: There was never any discussion of sex. So in fact,

780
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 1: I started asking my friends. I was like, maybe he's gay.

781
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 5: That's the first thing we would go to, Rico, if

782
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 5: you ain't trying to get it.

783
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 1: Man, because that's happened so much, you started wondering, well,

784
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,320
Speaker 1: he hasn't said anything about that.

785
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, respect for the day, Rico, you

786
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 3: gotta be thugging.

787
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 1: So I had a two bedroom, you know, apartments, So

788
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I got the room ready, he'll

789
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 1: sleep over there. And you know, we don't know what

790
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 1: this what this is going to be. So I'm like,

791
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: we'll just be friends. And I had dinner plans and

792
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 1: all these things.

793
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,919
Speaker 3: So but yeah, we we be That's why.

794
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,399
Speaker 1: I said, it was the first time in my life

795
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,879
Speaker 1: where I felt like I literally developed a friendship because

796
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 1: I can look back at my ex and say, we

797
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:21,480
Speaker 1: were never friends.

798
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:22,760
Speaker 6: We were never friends.

799
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:25,800
Speaker 3: This one here is my best friend.

800
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 1: We talk about everything under the sun. We laugh more

801
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 1: than when then we cry, and I don't. We've never

802
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 1: we talked about this before. We've never had a true argument.

803
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,760
Speaker 1: I had one disagreement and I think I was sleepy

804
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,719
Speaker 1: because when I'm sleepy, I'm cranky, and.

805
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 6: I think I was sleepy that day.

806
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,759
Speaker 5: We have friends who actually just got into a relationship

807
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 5: and You're like, man, she's making me mad at that.

808
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 3: I'm like, you just met her.

809
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:53,839
Speaker 5: Y'all already arguing like knock on wood over two years

810
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:55,239
Speaker 5: when we have never had.

811
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:56,359
Speaker 2: An own argument two years.

812
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: And it's interesting because I'm always like, what is that

813
00:36:58,760 --> 00:36:59,880
Speaker 1: going to look like? Are we going to know how

814
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:01,800
Speaker 1: to handle that when when it happens?

815
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 3: So I do worry about that.

816
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:08,319
Speaker 1: I think even now, I think for both of us

817
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 1: one of the things that we we we kind of

818
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 1: say is life's too short.

819
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:15,239
Speaker 3: We both have.

820
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 1: Experienced loss and I just want to be happy and

821
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:24,400
Speaker 1: at peace. And even my own parents sixty years, they

822
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 1: still argue.

823
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 5: And we said we literally feel like we're sit them

824
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 5: down to be like, okay them, y'all need to stop talking.

825
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, we were like, what are y'all arguing about?

826
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 2: Like about yeah, be around that person that loan. You

827
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 2: just be making up stuff microphone?

828
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 3: Yes, literally, why you got the TV so loud?

829
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 7: Mariage.

830
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 1: Yeah. So you know, for us, it's funny because we

831
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 1: just sit there and go, babe, I hope we never

832
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,359
Speaker 1: get to this point where we just argue a bit

833
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: mad at each other about.

834
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 6: Every little thing.

835
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 1: But you know, they watch us, and I think they

836
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:08,360
Speaker 1: too have been inspired by us, because every you know,

837
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 1: we greet each other always with a hug, a kiss.

838
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,320
Speaker 1: You know it's babe, how was your day? How you know,

839
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 1: let's talk about it. And I think they've watched us

840
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:17,800
Speaker 1: and have been like, oh, okay, this is how it

841
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 1: should be. And I can honestly say, you know, with

842
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: that with my parents, I don't think I knew what

843
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 1: healthy love looks like either, because through a lot of

844
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 1: marriages that have lasted this long, it reminds you of

845
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 1: any living color. But they still together, pots and pants

846
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:36,360
Speaker 1: on each other and they just worked it out. But

847
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 1: that's not necessarily what healthy looks like. So I can

848
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 1: look back at some of my relationships and say I

849
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 1: didn't have the best example of what it's supposed to

850
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 1: look like. And so now that I know what it

851
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 1: looks like it's totally different than what I experienced. I've

852
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 1: never truly had love until now. We I mean, I

853
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 1: feel like what we have and I think that's what

854
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 1: people see. It's genuine and you know, we're just friends.

855
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,799
Speaker 1: We're friends first, and I think that was the most

856
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 1: important thing.

857
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 2: What are you saying in that two hour conversation you had?

858
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,760
Speaker 2: She says, you had that two hour conversation.

859
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 5: With most of it was about Sultin Pepper Gang in

860
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 5: the mission of the group, and explaining to her that

861
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 5: all the things that you see on social media, that's

862
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:25,720
Speaker 5: social media. But what we actually do which don't get publicized.

863
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 5: We post them, but I always say, when it's too positive,

864
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:32,799
Speaker 5: nobody wants to watch now and we take our belt

865
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 5: off and start whooping all them kids.

866
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 3: Oh that'll go viral.

867
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,839
Speaker 5: Yeah, But you know, just my direction with the group

868
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 5: and what we're doing now is what I've been doing

869
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,800
Speaker 5: for over thirty years, always giving back to the community,

870
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 5: always stopping by Senior Citizen Home, giving these ladies roses, flowers, balloons,

871
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 5: Valentine's Day car all Mother's Day card, always giving money

872
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:52,440
Speaker 5: to single moms.

873
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 1: It's just an important though that you kind of go

874
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 1: back to the what, why, the why behind why you

875
00:39:59,239 --> 00:39:59,440
Speaker 1: do that.

876
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 6: Rico's mom passed away.

877
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 1: When he was sixteen, and his mom was a single mom,

878
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: and his passion was for other single moms. So when

879
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,919
Speaker 1: he was, like he said in his twenties, he would

880
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 1: buy gift cards and at a grocery store and just

881
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 1: hand them out to single moms. So I think his

882
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 1: drive runs deep, and he doesn't really talk about that.

883
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 1: He doesn't talk about his mom passing away at a

884
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 1: very when he was a young man, sixteen and seeing

885
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 1: her struggle. He said he didn't know they were poor.

886
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:33,799
Speaker 1: A lot of us didn't know we were coring because

887
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:35,320
Speaker 1: our parents didn't really show us that.

888
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 2: I thought my mom was stingy, but she couldn't be

889
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,879
Speaker 2: stinging she didn't have no money. I thought my parents

890
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 2: were like, y'all don't buy me nothing. He was like,

891
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,760
Speaker 2: I always said, know a lot, and I was attached

892
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,400
Speaker 2: what it was to the money. I ain't got no

893
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 2: ice cream money and got down. I said, well, the

894
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 2: long wise always attached to what it is, was like,

895
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,320
Speaker 2: I guess I got no ice cream money. I was like,

896
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,799
Speaker 2: y'all live about nothing. They never told me we ain't

897
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 2: got no money, then I could have had a sense

898
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,959
Speaker 2: of understanding. So Rico, originally, when you when you talked

899
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 2: about what she talked about in that two hour conversation,

900
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 2: I took it as what I shared with Ashley, where

901
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 2: I was really like talking to her about you know,

902
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,799
Speaker 2: she always jokes about this is our conversation I had

903
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,840
Speaker 2: with her while I was talking about the choice of

904
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 2: men that she would choose and letting her know having

905
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 2: a man that could properly cover her. And I was

906
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 2: thinking that that's what you did in the first and

907
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 2: you know when you met her is like tell her

908
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 2: you know what your intentions were in the relationship, but

909
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,319
Speaker 2: you were more talking about your purpose on Earth.

910
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 3: Yeah I didn't.

911
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 5: I mean I didn't even talk to you about relationship, didn't.

912
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 5: We didn't even talk like that. You know, it was

913
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:42,320
Speaker 5: just about my mission.

914
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 2: And so I was that important to share that with

915
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,800
Speaker 2: her because at that extensive she talks about the passion

916
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 2: that you had listening to me. She was listening.

917
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 3: Remember I said I just wanted someone to listen to me.

918
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 3: She was listening. I think, yeah, he wanted to be heard.

919
00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 1: And I'm a person I do more listening than I

920
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:03,400
Speaker 1: do talking because I think that's how you learn. So

921
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: I'm really big on observing and just sitting back and listening.

922
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 1: So I just listened, didn't even say much.

923
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:12,320
Speaker 2: Why don't you think about, like, oh, God, he is

924
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 2: so involved in this this thing. I don't know if

925
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:16,320
Speaker 2: I'm ever found a place in his life because he

926
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 2: just talked two hours about this and not talking about

927
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:19,880
Speaker 2: trying to get to know me.

928
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:22,840
Speaker 6: I don't think I was because I wasn't looking. I

929
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 6: wasn't that wasn't mine.

930
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:24,879
Speaker 3: Both wasn't looking.

931
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,360
Speaker 1: That wasn't what I was there for. I think I

932
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 1: didn't even see it as that that night again, I'm

933
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 1: not looking. I'm not really trying. Today I had talked

934
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: to God and said I'm good. I literally thought I

935
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 1: was good.

936
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 2: Well, your hindsight was at a hindsight being twenty twenty

937
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,480
Speaker 2: comment that you said earlier, where you said, when you

938
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:47,279
Speaker 2: find somebody that's so passionate about their purpose that they

939
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 2: could be actually passionate about pretty much you if y'all

940
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 2: were in a relationship, that's a hindsight twenty twenty three.

941
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's be.

942
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 5: And then for all the people that knows me, you know,

943
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,360
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm always a guy that's always going to

944
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 5: give you a little cum many, always going to be

945
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 5: somebody's gonna give you some positive. All my friends were like, dude,

946
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 5: I have never seen you this happy before, even my

947
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 5: ex her girlfriends.

948
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:12,720
Speaker 3: You are happy.

949
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:18,280
Speaker 5: Wow, And that says a lot when your ex best

950
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 5: friends inbox you and said you are happy with her

951
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:23,840
Speaker 5: than with my homegirlfriend.

952
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 2: Threw them on the bus rego Now what which friend?

953
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:38,839
Speaker 1: You know what's crazy is we did have a lot

954
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 1: My friends were concerned because of my past experience, so

955
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: they were very cautious and you know, we're kind of

956
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 1: in my ear about.

957
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 3: A lot of things.

958
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 1: However, we almost had to kind of go in protective

959
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 1: mode because so many people were standing back going.

960
00:43:57,440 --> 00:44:02,400
Speaker 6: Okay, they just met, he just got divorced. This, you know,

961
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 6: this seems so fast.

962
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 1: So we kind of had to step back and start

963
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 1: protecting and not talking. But what was crazy was one

964
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:17,719
Speaker 1: time we were out, probably three months in I come

965
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:18,280
Speaker 1: to Texas.

966
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 3: My girlfriends were they're his friends.

967
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 1: We had met up, and you could see on everyone's

968
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 1: face that they were like, oh, this is real, these

969
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 1: two real have chemistry. We didn't even see it, like

970
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 1: we were oblivious. We had become friends and we were

971
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 1: just having a good time. But when we thought back

972
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 1: on that moment and was like, did you you remember

973
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: what everybody's I even had my girlfriend say you can't

974
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 1: have her?

975
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:54,839
Speaker 3: She said, they and then I said, and I got

976
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 3: her now.

977
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:58,320
Speaker 6: He said, and I have her now. And it was

978
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 6: because they saw it, because they saw what we we

979
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 6: didn't really see.

980
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 3: We were just hey, girlfriend.

981
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 1: They literally I think that was the thought because we've

982
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: been traveling all this time together, doing life together, and

983
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 1: now I never thought i'd be the girlfriend. I didn't

984
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 1: think i'd be the first because I wasn't I wasn't looking,

985
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:19,360
Speaker 1: so I thought it was gonna be somebody else and

986
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 1: they then the group would be like broken up or

987
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:25,839
Speaker 1: we the travel would stop, and so I never thought

988
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,799
Speaker 1: it would be me. So for her to say that though,

989
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 1: it was just like, oh wow, they're thinking our.

990
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:33,120
Speaker 6: Group is gone.

991
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:37,839
Speaker 1: We can't so we still travel three three to well four,

992
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 1: there's four of us. The initially it was about it

993
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 1: was three of us and we brought on another. But

994
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:49,520
Speaker 1: we actually called ourselves the funties because we would be

995
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 1: out places and there'd be young girls. We want to

996
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,239
Speaker 1: hang with y'all, y'all having a good time over here,

997
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 1: and so we just became the funties. We kind of

998
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,400
Speaker 1: even started out we were going to do a podcast

999
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 1: all these things and just talk about what it meant

1000
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:07,880
Speaker 1: to be in that stage of life, your late forties,

1001
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 1: early fifties, starting over and what that looked like. My

1002
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:13,879
Speaker 1: one friend had been married for thirty years. Oh wow,

1003
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 1: thirty years and got divorced, so she has a heck

1004
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:20,320
Speaker 1: of a story, like I'm like girl. And then the

1005
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:21,799
Speaker 1: other one was nineteen years.

1006
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 2: All four of them, it was all all of y'all

1007
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:24,880
Speaker 2: had been married and divorced.

1008
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,279
Speaker 1: One has never been well no, no, she was married

1009
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 1: younger in life, like in her twenties and then got

1010
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 1: divorced at like twenty eight twenty nine.

1011
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, they divorce sisters the next season of Divorces.

1012
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:37,560
Speaker 3: That's literally what we were.

1013
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:41,360
Speaker 1: But we were all figuring it out, figuring out life together,

1014
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 1: this new life, and that's what was beautiful. We went

1015
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,400
Speaker 1: to I mean we went to Bali, we went to Singapore,

1016
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 1: we went to Thailand, we went to Greece, we.

1017
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 3: Went to like traveled all travel a year. At one time.

1018
00:46:54,120 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 6: My pocketboat was like, gro what are you doing out

1019
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 6: of the country. It was two to three times.

1020
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 1: I mean even my pastor was like, ah, well, it's

1021
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 1: good to see you in church today, because last time

1022
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 1: I saw you, you were like overseas somewhere. So we

1023
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:17,080
Speaker 1: were just enjoying being friends and really healing together. I

1024
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 1: actually just had a post not long ago about healing.

1025
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,360
Speaker 6: What that looked like. I didn't know I was healing.

1026
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:24,760
Speaker 6: I didn't know I was on a healing journey.

1027
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 1: But I remember being in Bali and my ex wouldn't

1028
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:31,320
Speaker 1: allow me to travel if I say that word allow,

1029
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,279
Speaker 1: so I didn't go with My girlfriends would be like, oh,

1030
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:38,360
Speaker 1: we're going here, and well I can't go because he

1031
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:41,320
Speaker 1: didn't think I should leave, and this, that and the

1032
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: other thing. And so that first trip, there's the Bali

1033
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:51,240
Speaker 1: Swings and it's like just nothing but beautiful land trees,

1034
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 1: and so you're out there swinging I don't know how

1035
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:56,719
Speaker 1: many feet in the air, but I felt.

1036
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 6: So close to God and I just felt like God

1037
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:04,600
Speaker 6: was like, go enjoy leave.

1038
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 1: In just that one swing, it was like a release.

1039
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 1: And I after that was just like, all right, living

1040
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 1: my best life.

1041
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:13,759
Speaker 3: We're to next.

1042
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 1: And we just kept kept traveling, kept traveling, and so

1043
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,840
Speaker 1: even with him. My fiftieth birthday, we went my girlfriends

1044
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:21,520
Speaker 1: and I. We went to Jamaica. That's all I wanted

1045
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 1: to do. And it was the first time I got

1046
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,239
Speaker 1: to spend with my daughter in a trip. So my

1047
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 1: daughter went, one my other girlfriend's daughters went, and we

1048
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 1: just had a great time. It was one of my

1049
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 1: best trips.

1050
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 3: Actually, now you're getting ready to go to We're going to.

1051
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 6: London in two weeks. No, No, I'm going to my girlfriends.

1052
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 2: Girlfriend girlfriend, your daughter.

1053
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:43,799
Speaker 5: My daughter's got a contract and learn her daughter as

1054
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 5: a supermodel. Yes, so she's got a photo shoot.

1055
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, she meets with her UK.

1056
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 1: Yes, she has a UK agency, Hannah Mayors. Yeah, that's

1057
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:59,799
Speaker 1: a god thing because my daughter didn't start out as

1058
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 1: a model. She was a volleyball player. And it's actually funny.

1059
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 1: She actually started as a plus size model and I

1060
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 1: didn't see it coming. I'm like, you're beautiful, but model.

1061
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 1: When the people approached.

1062
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:18,960
Speaker 3: Her like, I'm like, really, you're college. I'm like, you're

1063
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 3: in college.

1064
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 6: We're gonna.

1065
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,840
Speaker 3: So I told her she looks like Naomi Camel.

1066
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 2: She does.

1067
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:27,880
Speaker 3: I told her no.

1068
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:30,320
Speaker 1: When she the people approached her, I was like, no,

1069
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:33,439
Speaker 1: they want money. This isn't This doesn't happen in life,

1070
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:35,439
Speaker 1: This is not this doesn't happen in our.

1071
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, he was like no.

1072
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,880
Speaker 1: So anyway, she continued to speak to them. Eventually I

1073
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:43,759
Speaker 1: allowed her to go to their studio, which is in

1074
00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri. She did her photo shoots and then

1075
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:48,480
Speaker 1: a few weeks later she had a contract with Next

1076
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 1: Model Management. So but this is where I say, I

1077
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,399
Speaker 1: tell him all the time, and you guys know, God

1078
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 1: will blow your mind.

1079
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:59,919
Speaker 3: Which you think God has for you, we can't even

1080
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 3: and fathom.

1081
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:04,799
Speaker 1: And so when I tell people this life I had,

1082
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:07,600
Speaker 1: you couldn't have told me five years ago I was

1083
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 1: going to remarry to this man and live in.

1084
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:13,360
Speaker 6: Houston, travel the world.

1085
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 3: You couldn't have told me that.

1086
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 6: You couldn't have.

1087
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:17,759
Speaker 1: You wouldn't have told me that my daughter would be

1088
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 1: a model. You couldn't have out of No, she's going

1089
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:21,880
Speaker 1: to college. She's gonna get her to Greecause that's what

1090
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,320
Speaker 1: I thought, That's what I said. But God was like,

1091
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 1: oh no, let me tell you what I have for you.

1092
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 1: And so even nowadays when we have conversations, I'm like,

1093
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:33,880
Speaker 1: when he tells me stuff, I'm not surprised.

1094
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:37,879
Speaker 3: I go, God is what we think.

1095
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 6: Even you know just where we're at.

1096
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:41,919
Speaker 3: Now we are home.

1097
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:47,319
Speaker 6: We got like all this accomplished.

1098
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:51,120
Speaker 5: Years that we have accomplished being in other relationships wouldn't

1099
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 5: accomplished this in two years. So we always pray for

1100
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:58,279
Speaker 5: these things, and I always say, it feels like our

1101
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 5: prayers are being answered.

1102
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:05,279
Speaker 1: He has done nothing but pour into us, and so

1103
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 1: I think for us, we try to pour into other people.

1104
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 1: That's one of my biggest things. I just want to

1105
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:14,320
Speaker 1: pour into other women. I try to empower them. I

1106
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 1: think I find beauty and everything. Even those that try

1107
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:20,800
Speaker 1: to hurt us and say negative things, I try to

1108
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:22,759
Speaker 1: find the beauty. I actually feel sorry for them, and

1109
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 1: that's that also brings me to something else. One thing

1110
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:29,359
Speaker 1: that I feel like allowed me to enjoy this life

1111
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 1: is forgiveness, being able to let go.

1112
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 6: I was able to forgive my ex I didn't want.

1113
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 6: I'm not mad at all.

1114
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:44,399
Speaker 1: I am actually thankful because without a test you don't

1115
00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 1: have a testimonony, and so without that situation, I wouldn't

1116
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,239
Speaker 1: be able to pour into other women and share my

1117
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:52,839
Speaker 1: story because a lot of women say, well, you don't

1118
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 1: look like you accepted that or would accept that, or

1119
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:58,920
Speaker 1: went through that, and so I think it allows them

1120
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 1: to see me as humans. So it humanizes me and

1121
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:04,400
Speaker 1: it allows me to be able.

1122
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:06,880
Speaker 6: To relate to them. I'm relatable now right because I

1123
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:08,840
Speaker 6: went through that and I can share my story.

1124
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 2: So you just answered the question I was about to ask,

1125
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 2: and I'm just gonna ask Rico well, and you can

1126
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:17,479
Speaker 2: still unpack even more. This is your third marriage, y'all.

1127
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:22,640
Speaker 2: The slogan for this marriage was three times a charm, right, Yes,

1128
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:25,040
Speaker 2: the third times of charm. And when you look at that,

1129
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 2: why do you believe God allowed y'all to go through

1130
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:33,360
Speaker 2: two prior broken covenants in order for y'all to have

1131
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 2: this where y'all feel like y'all are in y'all's promise land,

1132
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,800
Speaker 2: you feel like this is your person. The words that

1133
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 2: y'all are using to describe each other, y'all are comparing

1134
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:47,719
Speaker 2: it to pass relationships and past marriages, as if this

1135
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:51,319
Speaker 2: is the joy that God wanted y'all to experience at

1136
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 2: this stage in your life. Why y'all believe God allowed

1137
00:52:54,920 --> 00:53:00,080
Speaker 2: that to happen? Or it's two part, if y'all, I

1138
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:03,640
Speaker 2: had waited and never married anybody else and just waited

1139
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:06,839
Speaker 2: till y'all met each other at this big age. Then

1140
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,359
Speaker 2: y'all would have never gotten married before y'all just waited

1141
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:12,399
Speaker 2: for each other or were those other people that y'all

1142
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:16,040
Speaker 2: chose to marry out of your own choosing and a

1143
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,920
Speaker 2: lack of patience for a gud to bring this to

1144
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:20,879
Speaker 2: pass at this thing? What do y'all how do y'all

1145
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 2: rationalize this journey?

1146
00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 5: Well, I mean for me, I would probably say, you know,

1147
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 5: going through those other two marriages, it prepared me for

1148
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:34,920
Speaker 5: what I'm going through now because it lets me know

1149
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:38,280
Speaker 5: what once I said before, what I'm going to tolerate,

1150
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 5: what I'm not going to tolerate.

1151
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 3: And I feel like now I have that choice if

1152
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:45,200
Speaker 3: I wanted to be with her or not.

1153
00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 5: You know, in the previous relationships, I felt like, like

1154
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:52,239
Speaker 5: we talked about earlier, well let's just go ahead and

1155
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 5: do it.

1156
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:55,280
Speaker 3: You know, we wasn't best friends.

1157
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 5: You know, you just either meet someone and you just

1158
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 5: jump into a relationship and then you just figured it

1159
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 5: all out as time go by, and then you know,

1160
00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 5: sometimes you're like, well, we've been together long enough, let's

1161
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:06,879
Speaker 5: just go ahead and tie the knot.

1162
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:10,200
Speaker 3: I feel like now I had that choice.

1163
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:14,719
Speaker 5: Because I could have just said, well, probably would have

1164
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:17,479
Speaker 5: never proposed to her, But I just I just felt

1165
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:21,160
Speaker 5: right about it, you know. And like I said, we

1166
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 5: were best friends, and when you have a best friend,

1167
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,200
Speaker 5: you don't hurt your best friend. And my best friend

1168
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 5: just happened to be my lover. So that's the work

1169
00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 5: for me.

1170
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:34,280
Speaker 1: Well, it's something you touched on when you said choose.

1171
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,719
Speaker 1: I didn't allow God to choose for me. I was

1172
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:43,560
Speaker 1: trying to choose. So my first marriage was I literally

1173
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:48,120
Speaker 1: think it was like, well, let's just get married, like

1174
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:52,719
Speaker 1: the song to get married, maybe at the altar, let's

1175
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:53,280
Speaker 1: just get married.

1176
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 2: We might as well do it, didn't you for a

1177
00:54:57,640 --> 00:54:58,040
Speaker 2: while ago?

1178
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:06,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, literally we planned our wedding like a week. It

1179
00:55:06,960 --> 00:55:09,080
Speaker 1: was literally like we should have played that song. Probably

1180
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:11,719
Speaker 1: went out then, but we should have just played that

1181
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 1: song because that's literally.

1182
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:13,759
Speaker 3: How it was.

1183
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:16,360
Speaker 1: So I think that was the first thing. Is And

1184
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 1: I'd always said, well, I'm not having any more kids.

1185
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 3: I had a son.

1186
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm good and so well, you know,

1187
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:25,000
Speaker 1: maybe in his eyes, I don't know, Well, if we

1188
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:27,400
Speaker 1: get married, you'll have a kid. I don't know, I

1189
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:32,440
Speaker 1: really don't, but it wasn't God. It wasn't God. So

1190
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:36,359
Speaker 1: that was the first failure, if you will. Second time,

1191
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:39,880
Speaker 1: there was so many red flags. I totally ignored everything

1192
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:42,480
Speaker 1: God said to me. So I think I sometimes say

1193
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:45,440
Speaker 1: God has a funny sense of humor. And so he

1194
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:47,320
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, you want this, I'm gonna give it

1195
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:50,279
Speaker 1: to you, and he gave it to me. And so

1196
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:53,319
Speaker 1: this time I didn't I'm not gonna say I didn't

1197
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:58,279
Speaker 1: want it because I wasn't looking. I chose him at

1198
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:00,719
Speaker 1: you know, I chose him, and that at the end

1199
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 1: of the day every night I was on my knees

1200
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:08,680
Speaker 1: thanking him for the blessing scene and unseen. So I

1201
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:11,439
Speaker 1: felt like when he did, like I said, I thought,

1202
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:12,880
Speaker 1: you got a sense of hum You're gonna bring me

1203
00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:14,759
Speaker 1: a married man, like what or what?

1204
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 3: Really?

1205
00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:20,479
Speaker 1: But again it was through conversation. We both shared God

1206
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 1: as a center. So we kept praying about that and

1207
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:26,319
Speaker 1: protecting what we had because we knew there were people

1208
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:27,440
Speaker 1: on the outside.

1209
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:30,239
Speaker 6: Going this dude was just Mary. This dude was married

1210
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:31,360
Speaker 6: last week in the.

1211
00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 1: World, in the world, like we were aware of that.

1212
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:39,840
Speaker 1: I was aware of that, and so it took it

1213
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:42,879
Speaker 1: took a lot of prayer. But it didn't happen without God.

1214
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:45,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you that right now. It didn't happen

1215
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:48,840
Speaker 1: because I was at a different place in life. I

1216
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:51,800
Speaker 1: could have I could have been single and just fine.

1217
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:52,920
Speaker 1: It could have been just me.

1218
00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:55,880
Speaker 2: I was Okay, you're at a total peace and surrender

1219
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 2: total peace.

1220
00:56:57,600 --> 00:57:00,920
Speaker 4: What did you do tangibly to kind of block out

1221
00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 4: the noise? Because he said that a couple of times.

1222
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:04,400
Speaker 4: So what did that look like?

1223
00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 3: All the people leave us around this period? We prayed

1224
00:57:11,239 --> 00:57:11,600
Speaker 3: every night.

1225
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 5: We just prayed for God to protect us and keep

1226
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:17,200
Speaker 5: negative people away from us. That was always a negative energy, yeah,

1227
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,440
Speaker 5: you know, and just just guide us and keep us

1228
00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 5: focusing and keep our whole relationships strong. I mean, that's

1229
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 5: always we always prayed, Please keep negative people away from us.

1230
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:27,280
Speaker 3: That's what we prayed.

1231
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:30,840
Speaker 5: You know, what would y'all do, Like when y'all hear

1232
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:34,400
Speaker 5: like especially people y'all trust friends that y'all had, you know,

1233
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:36,200
Speaker 5: been rocking with y'all for a while and.

1234
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:39,160
Speaker 2: Then they're sharing whatever it is. Did you ever let

1235
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:41,959
Speaker 2: that effect you were? Now you're bringing that into y'all's

1236
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:45,760
Speaker 2: relationship where you say, now hold on now, my homegirl, Shauna.

1237
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,240
Speaker 2: She's been with me through both of these failed marriages,

1238
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:51,120
Speaker 2: and she said that she sees this, this, this, this,

1239
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 2: and then you start adopting.

1240
00:57:52,600 --> 00:58:01,320
Speaker 3: That it happens more for her, guys. Yeah, yeah, it

1241
00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:02,080
Speaker 3: actually happened.

1242
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 1: So one of my friends shared some things that she

1243
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 1: had heard about Rico, and it was very early in

1244
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 1: the relationship, and so I'm at that point where, I mean,

1245
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:15,680
Speaker 1: we were still on that friendship where we're just talking

1246
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:18,360
Speaker 1: all the time, and so of course I go, is

1247
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 1: this information correct?

1248
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:21,400
Speaker 3: Like what do I do with this information?

1249
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 1: The source was questionable that she had gotten it from,

1250
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:29,280
Speaker 1: and the person who shared that information or supposedly share

1251
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 1: the official was very questionable. So I was able, and

1252
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 1: at this age, I'm a ture enough to know people's intentions,

1253
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:40,280
Speaker 1: and so I had already met that person and questioned

1254
00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 1: their intentions. Even it was actually one of Rico's friends

1255
00:58:44,520 --> 00:58:47,200
Speaker 1: who reached out to one of my friends, and I

1256
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 1: already had met that person and questioned that person's integrity.

1257
00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:54,040
Speaker 1: One thing about me, I can meet someone and in

1258
00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:56,600
Speaker 1: five minutes ago I don't trust him, and I do

1259
00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 1: that a lot with him.

1260
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 2: Because I'm observing nobody does. She's like I trust people.

1261
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:02,040
Speaker 2: It's just that.

1262
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:06,640
Speaker 1: Yep, you can see that one thing. And so with him,

1263
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:08,600
Speaker 1: he's so friendly, he's out going. He'll be standing there

1264
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:12,320
Speaker 1: and I'm staying. I'm observing. I can tell you who

1265
00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:15,400
Speaker 1: what there, what posture they had that made me question

1266
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:18,560
Speaker 1: their eye contact they did. I'm like, they said that

1267
00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 1: I looked at them and they did this, and they

1268
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:20,600
Speaker 1: did that, and.

1269
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,680
Speaker 3: I don't trust them. The long story short, what you

1270
00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:26,040
Speaker 3: found out was all lies.

1271
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 5: It was all lies, and let's be clear. YE want

1272
00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 5: people to lose and question me. And I'm sitting there

1273
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:38,760
Speaker 5: like it hurt me because I know I was up

1274
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:41,840
Speaker 5: front with her about everything and there's nothing that I

1275
00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:44,960
Speaker 5: can say I lie to her about. So when someone

1276
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,520
Speaker 5: is telling me something that I know it's not true,

1277
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:49,520
Speaker 5: and I'm like, but I just poured my heart off you.

1278
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:51,960
Speaker 3: I just told you, so it hurt me. She kept

1279
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:53,400
Speaker 3: calling me and I didn't ask my phone.

1280
00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:54,280
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, he was mad.

1281
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:57,520
Speaker 5: He was with me because I felt like I just

1282
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:00,200
Speaker 5: put everything on the table and then something came up

1283
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:02,160
Speaker 5: and I'm like, okay, what is this, Like that's not true.

1284
01:00:02,680 --> 01:00:07,360
Speaker 1: If he was on the phone, I was like, I'm good. Yeah,

1285
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,600
Speaker 1: that's how she was talking and he said, what's going on?

1286
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:12,600
Speaker 1: Like her energy just went So was this the one argument?

1287
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:16,040
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no, no, it was an argument.

1288
01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 1: I was just like shut down and he didn't why

1289
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:23,080
Speaker 1: so I shared with him and he was so upset

1290
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:29,720
Speaker 1: that I allowed that get in my head. Yeah, and

1291
01:00:29,840 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 1: we were we were just building and so, yeah, our

1292
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:34,080
Speaker 1: only argument.

1293
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:37,040
Speaker 3: I don't even remember. I don't remember.

1294
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:41,240
Speaker 1: I just remember him going, sweetie, that's what he said

1295
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:46,000
Speaker 1: to me, sweetie, if you remember whatever he said, I

1296
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 1: talked to you earlier. And I don't even I know

1297
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 1: me if I don't get there's two things. If I'm

1298
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:54,960
Speaker 1: hungry and if I'm sleepy. But I can recognize it

1299
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:56,480
Speaker 1: now and go, babe, I'm sleepy.

1300
01:00:56,640 --> 01:01:00,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what, and I'll go back to yeah,

1301
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:01,680
Speaker 3: no I do.

1302
01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:04,440
Speaker 4: We can't talk late. I'd be like it is ten

1303
01:01:04,480 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 4: o'clock and that means I'm no good.

1304
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:10,240
Speaker 1: I'm able to at least voice it now and go

1305
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:13,680
Speaker 1: I'm sleepy, I'm exhausted, I'm done, and I'll.

1306
01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 3: Go back to what we talked about.

1307
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:19,640
Speaker 5: When you mentioned the word about why I wanted divorce,

1308
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:20,400
Speaker 5: I wasn't happy.

1309
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:26,360
Speaker 3: I'm big on trust. Once I lose your trust. It's

1310
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:28,320
Speaker 3: hard for me to trust you again.

1311
01:01:29,160 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 5: And for me, honestly, the deal breaker when I was

1312
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:37,160
Speaker 5: ready to be done is a debt with prostate cancer,

1313
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 5: you know, and at that moment when you're being married.

1314
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:46,680
Speaker 5: I remember vividly I had to go to do radiation

1315
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:50,560
Speaker 5: for three months, five days a week, seven o'clock in

1316
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:53,440
Speaker 5: the morning. I'm on that table, and you had someone

1317
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:56,080
Speaker 5: that was there did not go with me to my

1318
01:01:56,240 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 5: radiation at all.

1319
01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:01,560
Speaker 2: Come on, I never know one time, and the only.

1320
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:04,080
Speaker 5: Time that person went is because I heard that person's

1321
01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:05,960
Speaker 5: telling their mom on the phone. Well, you know, I'm

1322
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:08,680
Speaker 5: stressed out. I got this going on. Rico got Cassi,

1323
01:02:08,760 --> 01:02:10,720
Speaker 5: he's dealing with WHOA. After she got out the phone.

1324
01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:14,560
Speaker 5: Why you stressed you don't go with me? That's the same.

1325
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:16,560
Speaker 5: That's the next day she went to prove a point.

1326
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 5: The second time is when I rang the bell. My

1327
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 5: son came from Florida and they rang the bell. They

1328
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 5: had to hand on my shoulder, and you know, I

1329
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:27,440
Speaker 5: didn't know about ringing bells. I had to do my research.

1330
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:29,720
Speaker 5: So ranging a bell is more like an enjoyment that

1331
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 5: you graduated. And I remember vividly that I rang the

1332
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:34,520
Speaker 5: bell the first rang, it was for me and my

1333
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:38,400
Speaker 5: sacrifice that I did every day for those three months.

1334
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:40,920
Speaker 5: My second rang with all of my family and friends

1335
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:43,360
Speaker 5: who prayed for me. And my third ring it was

1336
01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:44,800
Speaker 5: for all of the men who never got a chance

1337
01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:48,560
Speaker 5: to ring that bell. Ooo. Then you know I play

1338
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:52,040
Speaker 5: a lot of sports. I actually had to get what

1339
01:02:52,160 --> 01:02:54,280
Speaker 5: they call an epidural and my spine. I was in

1340
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:55,280
Speaker 5: a hospital for a week.

1341
01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:55,960
Speaker 2: Right.

1342
01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:58,400
Speaker 5: The reason I don't like talking about my mom is

1343
01:02:58,480 --> 01:03:02,760
Speaker 5: because it was a malpractice when I was sixteen years old.

1344
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:05,520
Speaker 5: My mom was thirty eight years old, healthy, went to

1345
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:10,760
Speaker 5: the doctor and died. They said she had pneumonia. Something happened,

1346
01:03:11,240 --> 01:03:15,160
Speaker 5: but I knew they messed up. So I have a

1347
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:19,560
Speaker 5: fear of hospitals. And here I am right now till

1348
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:22,320
Speaker 5: this day. My goal is to say one million men lives,

1349
01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:24,280
Speaker 5: one man at a time, by telling them.

1350
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:26,320
Speaker 3: To be proactive and go and get checked.

1351
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:28,479
Speaker 5: Because they call it a silent death, It's only silent

1352
01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:30,640
Speaker 5: because men are not talking about it. God gave it

1353
01:03:30,720 --> 01:03:32,080
Speaker 5: to me because he knew I was going to share

1354
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:33,920
Speaker 5: my testimony to help save other men.

1355
01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:36,920
Speaker 3: And since then I've helped so many men. Men that

1356
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:38,000
Speaker 3: called me said man Rico.

1357
01:03:38,480 --> 01:03:38,840
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1358
01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:41,400
Speaker 3: Because of that video, I went and got checked. Some

1359
01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:43,000
Speaker 3: men had it, some men didn't.

1360
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:45,520
Speaker 5: But for the ones that didn't have it, they said,

1361
01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:46,960
Speaker 5: But you know what, if I never seen your video,

1362
01:03:46,960 --> 01:03:48,720
Speaker 5: I would have never went and got checked. So my

1363
01:03:48,840 --> 01:03:52,360
Speaker 5: message is working. But I remember I stayed in that

1364
01:03:52,480 --> 01:03:55,480
Speaker 5: hospital for a week. Keep this in mind now, and

1365
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:56,120
Speaker 5: it's on video.

1366
01:03:56,200 --> 01:03:56,919
Speaker 3: I have a fear.

1367
01:03:57,040 --> 01:03:59,800
Speaker 5: Oh the video went viral. I have a fear of

1368
01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:02,760
Speaker 5: the hospitals. So here I am telling my wife at

1369
01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:06,960
Speaker 5: that moment, don't leave me in this hospital. She took

1370
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:10,880
Speaker 5: three weeks off and every day she left at seven

1371
01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:13,160
Speaker 5: o'clock pm. Every day I stayed in the hospital myself,

1372
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:15,360
Speaker 5: so I did a video. People didn't notice, but on

1373
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:18,320
Speaker 5: that video, I was really crying in that video because

1374
01:04:18,320 --> 01:04:19,960
Speaker 5: I wanted somebody to be in that hospital with me.

1375
01:04:20,720 --> 01:04:23,800
Speaker 3: But I was married, and my friends were like, what

1376
01:04:23,960 --> 01:04:24,720
Speaker 3: is she doing every day?

1377
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:26,960
Speaker 5: Because at night they put me in all these My

1378
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 5: spine was messed up, so they said I had issues

1379
01:04:30,040 --> 01:04:32,480
Speaker 5: with my heart, so they put all these medicine to

1380
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:34,240
Speaker 5: me to where I would be knocked out.

1381
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:35,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know what they're doing.

1382
01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:37,560
Speaker 5: And you know, before I went to sleep, I always say.

1383
01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 5: She was said the bad it's not comfortable. Well, we're

1384
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:42,360
Speaker 5: gonna find a bad nurse. Can you get a cheer

1385
01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:45,120
Speaker 5: that she can stay in here? Why would I have

1386
01:04:45,240 --> 01:04:47,200
Speaker 5: to beg my wife to stay in the hospital with me?

1387
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 5: First of all, if you had a dog at the house,

1388
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:51,440
Speaker 5: we had kids, there ain't nobody at the house. You

1389
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:56,040
Speaker 5: took three weeks off to leave me every day at

1390
01:04:56,080 --> 01:04:58,360
Speaker 5: seven o'clock PM. I don't know if something was going

1391
01:04:58,400 --> 01:05:01,200
Speaker 5: on at eight o'clock, but when you looked up, you

1392
01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:03,640
Speaker 5: drugged up. I'll just wake up the next day. She

1393
01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:05,520
Speaker 5: always come around eight o'clock, but she always leave every

1394
01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:07,720
Speaker 5: day at seven o'clock. But I said, don't leave me

1395
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:09,280
Speaker 5: in the hospital about myself and.

1396
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:13,800
Speaker 4: Look at the goodness of God, because you're a nurse already.

1397
01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:17,240
Speaker 5: Said you know, I put that on social media every

1398
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:19,240
Speaker 5: now and then. I never really said who it was

1399
01:05:19,560 --> 01:05:22,760
Speaker 5: until now wow. But you would hear other women like

1400
01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:25,320
Speaker 5: my husband never got to ask me like I'm going

1401
01:05:25,400 --> 01:05:32,240
Speaker 5: to be And here's one told me, uh checked earlier

1402
01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 5: in my twenties. She had me go check it again

1403
01:05:35,120 --> 01:05:37,760
Speaker 5: this past march. That was a couple of months ago.

1404
01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:41,280
Speaker 4: So you know, for me, he didn't need to till

1405
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:42,200
Speaker 4: he was fifty.

1406
01:05:42,320 --> 01:05:45,600
Speaker 3: I said, oh no, the man said.

1407
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:48,120
Speaker 4: He can wait till he's fifty.

1408
01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:51,920
Speaker 3: No he can't, I said, Field.

1409
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:54,080
Speaker 5: And she knows what goes on at night. You know,

1410
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:56,080
Speaker 5: many times I'm dropped. I don't know what's going on,

1411
01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:58,960
Speaker 5: but I want someone that I know I can be

1412
01:05:59,120 --> 01:05:59,720
Speaker 5: there now.

1413
01:06:00,320 --> 01:06:03,520
Speaker 1: So it was funny when you talk about God and

1414
01:06:04,080 --> 01:06:07,320
Speaker 1: being a nurse. So before that, so, my sister died

1415
01:06:07,320 --> 01:06:11,160
Speaker 1: at forty seven of cancer, and that was my thing.

1416
01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:14,640
Speaker 1: She ain't dying by herself, So me and her daughter,

1417
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:17,720
Speaker 1: my niece were there until every I mean even my mom.

1418
01:06:18,120 --> 01:06:22,480
Speaker 1: But I was so busy in a turmultu turmoil and

1419
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:25,400
Speaker 1: toxic marriage. There was I feel like a lot of

1420
01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:29,480
Speaker 1: things I missed. I missed her ringing the bell because

1421
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:33,320
Speaker 1: she had she actually came back, and I never went

1422
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:35,720
Speaker 1: to her treatments all those things. Now, of course I'm working,

1423
01:06:35,800 --> 01:06:37,320
Speaker 1: I got kids and all those things. But I had

1424
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:40,680
Speaker 1: a lot of guilt over that. So in her final day,

1425
01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:43,880
Speaker 1: I didn't expect her to die. So when I got

1426
01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:47,040
Speaker 1: the call and they told me her kidneys were shutting down,

1427
01:06:47,120 --> 01:06:49,000
Speaker 1: I was a nicer you nurse. I knew what that

1428
01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:52,840
Speaker 1: meant so from that moment, and I had just seen

1429
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:55,920
Speaker 1: her on Sunday Fetter barbecue and everything, she's in the hospital.

1430
01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 1: So Tuesday I got to the hospital and the machines

1431
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:03,320
Speaker 1: they had on her life saving machines, so I knew,

1432
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:07,000
Speaker 1: But at that moment, I was her sister, not a nurse.

1433
01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:10,040
Speaker 1: So as a nurse, I knew what was happening, But

1434
01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:13,840
Speaker 1: as a sister, I wanted to save her. And I'm

1435
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:15,880
Speaker 1: asking God, please save my sister, Please say my sister.

1436
01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:19,080
Speaker 1: And but one thing I wasn't going to allow was

1437
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:22,680
Speaker 1: for her to die alone. And so in her last

1438
01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:27,720
Speaker 1: few days, my ex was an alcoholic. This Poe called

1439
01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:31,760
Speaker 1: me because he had gotten arrested for public intoxication and

1440
01:07:31,880 --> 01:07:35,479
Speaker 1: he said, come get me. I said, excuse me, He said,

1441
01:07:35,520 --> 01:07:39,040
Speaker 1: come get me right now. I said, my sister's on

1442
01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:42,120
Speaker 1: her deathbed. I'm not going anywhere. I don't care what

1443
01:07:42,200 --> 01:07:45,840
Speaker 1: happens to you right now. And that was the moment

1444
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:49,360
Speaker 1: when I said twenty seventeen, I knew I was divorcing them,

1445
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:54,200
Speaker 1: because if you can ask me to leave my sister's

1446
01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:58,600
Speaker 1: deathbed something what, So I knew.

1447
01:07:58,440 --> 01:08:00,840
Speaker 6: In twenty seventeen, I was like, yeah, this, I'm not

1448
01:08:00,920 --> 01:08:01,480
Speaker 6: going to be in this.

1449
01:08:01,920 --> 01:08:02,400
Speaker 3: This is married.

1450
01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:04,560
Speaker 1: I don't know how much longer it's gonna last, but

1451
01:08:04,720 --> 01:08:07,520
Speaker 1: I knew I was done. I checked out at that moment.

1452
01:08:08,280 --> 01:08:11,800
Speaker 1: So but to your point, it made me see the importance.

1453
01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:14,040
Speaker 1: And I think that's you know, when you talk about

1454
01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:16,720
Speaker 1: being with someone. Can't nobody in my family right now

1455
01:08:16,760 --> 01:08:18,080
Speaker 1: go to the hospital bodyself.

1456
01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:20,160
Speaker 3: My parents when they.

1457
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,840
Speaker 1: Go, I'm usually taking them. I'm involved. I'm like, what's

1458
01:08:22,880 --> 01:08:23,160
Speaker 1: going on?

1459
01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:25,240
Speaker 3: What do I need to do? And that's the beauty.

1460
01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:26,960
Speaker 6: So they came to they moved here.

1461
01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:28,360
Speaker 1: That was I was like, y'all not gonna be in

1462
01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:30,040
Speaker 1: cansadiy And I can't see what's going on because I'm

1463
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:33,120
Speaker 1: the only child now. So I was really big and

1464
01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:35,000
Speaker 1: he's so he actually calls him.

1465
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:35,639
Speaker 3: His parents.

1466
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:40,679
Speaker 6: Live in Houston. They live with us, and my dad

1467
01:08:40,720 --> 01:08:46,760
Speaker 6: had prostate cancer when he was in his forties. So

1468
01:08:46,960 --> 01:08:49,200
Speaker 6: there's so many sire in our vowels.

1469
01:08:49,280 --> 01:08:51,760
Speaker 1: We read our own vowels, And at the towards the

1470
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:53,800
Speaker 1: end of when he was reading his, he said, thank

1471
01:08:53,840 --> 01:08:56,559
Speaker 1: you for giving me parents again, because both his parents

1472
01:08:56,600 --> 01:09:04,960
Speaker 1: are deceased, so they can't do no wrong to them,

1473
01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:08,679
Speaker 1: to my parents he can't do no wrong. They love Rico,

1474
01:09:09,040 --> 01:09:12,280
Speaker 1: they love his stories. They just sit and listen to him.

1475
01:09:12,760 --> 01:09:15,200
Speaker 5: Like her mom was like, you know that she took

1476
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:17,760
Speaker 5: her dad to the v hospital. And then her mom

1477
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:20,920
Speaker 5: text me. It was like, Monica just picked up this

1478
01:09:21,040 --> 01:09:21,519
Speaker 5: white guy.

1479
01:09:21,920 --> 01:09:24,960
Speaker 3: Excuse me? And I was like no, she was like yes.

1480
01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:28,519
Speaker 3: I was like, I know she did. She's like you yes,

1481
01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:29,400
Speaker 3: she said.

1482
01:09:29,439 --> 01:09:31,000
Speaker 5: I said, I'm willing to bet you because I know

1483
01:09:31,080 --> 01:09:33,400
Speaker 5: my baby would not pick up no white She was

1484
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:35,320
Speaker 5: like yeah, it was just a random Oh, no, I know.

1485
01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:36,640
Speaker 3: And then come the final she.

1486
01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:38,599
Speaker 5: Did pick up the white guy. It was an old

1487
01:09:38,680 --> 01:09:40,960
Speaker 5: guy and she just wanted to help him. But I

1488
01:09:41,080 --> 01:09:43,400
Speaker 5: told her, I said, that guy could have had like

1489
01:09:43,560 --> 01:09:46,720
Speaker 5: two sons to the door. But it could have been

1490
01:09:46,760 --> 01:09:47,600
Speaker 5: a setup. You know.

1491
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:49,599
Speaker 3: It would have been like, oh, I got a girl

1492
01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:57,320
Speaker 3: that's helping me. Y'all come down. She trust some people, yeah,

1493
01:09:58,400 --> 01:09:59,960
Speaker 3: waiting on me. I used to go to the park

1494
01:10:00,280 --> 01:10:04,360
Speaker 3: like shit and wait in the front. So I'm on

1495
01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:06,320
Speaker 3: my way to the front and there's this guy.

1496
01:10:06,439 --> 01:10:08,680
Speaker 1: He just got his cane and he looked like he's

1497
01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:11,720
Speaker 1: and the walk is far, so I said, hey, I'm

1498
01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:12,799
Speaker 1: headed to the front.

1499
01:10:13,200 --> 01:10:14,479
Speaker 3: Can I give you a ride.

1500
01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:15,559
Speaker 6: And he got in the car.

1501
01:10:15,680 --> 01:10:18,200
Speaker 3: So my parents I'm pulling up. They walked past the

1502
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:21,160
Speaker 3: car because the white man. There's no way because the

1503
01:10:21,240 --> 01:10:21,760
Speaker 3: white man.

1504
01:10:24,200 --> 01:10:24,720
Speaker 7: The wrong car.

1505
01:10:25,160 --> 01:10:26,680
Speaker 6: And even the guy in the car he's laughing. I

1506
01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:27,439
Speaker 6: was like, they're my parents.

1507
01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:30,120
Speaker 1: They don't realize. He said, yeah, they're wondering why you

1508
01:10:30,200 --> 01:10:31,040
Speaker 1: got a white man here?

1509
01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:34,719
Speaker 3: Would you think she just picked up aroundom down the street?

1510
01:10:35,120 --> 01:10:40,519
Speaker 2: No, trust nobody. Don't trust nobody. Trust nobody.

1511
01:10:40,680 --> 01:10:42,960
Speaker 6: It's the ba. It's a whole lot of in my heart.

1512
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:44,840
Speaker 6: I have a big heart that kid could have.

1513
01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:48,360
Speaker 5: I asked, You'll think she was in a gang or

1514
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:52,880
Speaker 5: something something because she's from l A. She don't trust nobody.

1515
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:56,240
Speaker 5: I don't care who it be the fun I'm like, god,

1516
01:10:56,280 --> 01:10:57,120
Speaker 5: what did you grow up?

1517
01:10:57,520 --> 01:10:57,760
Speaker 4: Said?

1518
01:10:57,880 --> 01:11:00,240
Speaker 5: Because she grew up in a nice neighborhood. When you

1519
01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:02,920
Speaker 5: think that she grew up in the hood where she

1520
01:11:03,120 --> 01:11:06,880
Speaker 5: grew up, trust I mean zero. When they come too

1521
01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:07,320
Speaker 5: that you.

1522
01:11:09,520 --> 01:11:13,880
Speaker 3: Wrong, you got that's a passing his wife crossing the street.

1523
01:11:15,200 --> 01:11:16,160
Speaker 4: I trust old people.

1524
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:21,439
Speaker 6: Trust for the elderly and the veterans. I have a

1525
01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:22,479
Speaker 6: big heart for them.

1526
01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:28,360
Speaker 4: The elderly, like I will sit and talk to them

1527
01:11:29,840 --> 01:11:30,200
Speaker 4: said she.

1528
01:11:30,240 --> 01:11:31,960
Speaker 2: Did that on the plane. It was on the story.

1529
01:11:32,000 --> 01:11:37,000
Speaker 2: They told me, Yeah, it's just that the whole man

1530
01:11:37,040 --> 01:11:38,840
Speaker 2: on the plane, this is part of us meeting each other.

1531
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:41,080
Speaker 2: But that's what she did. So I love that that

1532
01:11:41,200 --> 01:11:45,519
Speaker 2: she has heart for that. But everybody else the love

1533
01:11:45,640 --> 01:11:46,120
Speaker 2: she watched.

1534
01:11:46,320 --> 01:11:49,360
Speaker 6: She I'm always I'm like, what's their intent?

1535
01:11:50,800 --> 01:11:51,479
Speaker 3: I just want to know.

1536
01:11:51,800 --> 01:11:54,920
Speaker 4: I just watched. I observe trust, but I just observed.

1537
01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:57,200
Speaker 5: I walk into a building, I can kind of tell

1538
01:11:57,200 --> 01:11:58,760
Speaker 5: you how many people in the building. I like to

1539
01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:02,160
Speaker 5: know exactly where the exit door. No, that's just what

1540
01:12:02,280 --> 01:12:02,800
Speaker 5: I grew up at.

1541
01:12:02,840 --> 01:12:03,400
Speaker 3: You just need to know.

1542
01:12:04,360 --> 01:12:07,360
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, well my daddy is from New Orleans, so

1543
01:12:08,080 --> 01:12:10,320
Speaker 4: you know. But I just I want to celebrate you

1544
01:12:10,439 --> 01:12:13,160
Speaker 4: for coming back to that and sharing that story, because

1545
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:17,960
Speaker 4: prostate cancer in our community for black men is so

1546
01:12:18,439 --> 01:12:21,479
Speaker 4: it can be so devastating, and like you said, we

1547
01:12:21,640 --> 01:12:25,719
Speaker 4: need to spread awareness, we need to break the stigma

1548
01:12:25,960 --> 01:12:31,360
Speaker 4: around and so that's something that I'm really passionate about.

1549
01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:35,200
Speaker 4: And so I can understand how you would hope that

1550
01:12:35,439 --> 01:12:39,599
Speaker 4: your your significant other is there for your wife. Yeah

1551
01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:41,519
Speaker 4: you spouse at that moment.

1552
01:12:41,640 --> 01:12:44,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, no, yes, no, I know.

1553
01:12:44,880 --> 01:12:48,800
Speaker 4: She I already knows she already just told but I'm

1554
01:12:48,880 --> 01:12:51,400
Speaker 4: saying going back to that moment in time, I can

1555
01:12:51,520 --> 01:12:54,000
Speaker 4: only imagine thank you. You see how he knows what

1556
01:12:54,479 --> 01:12:54,760
Speaker 4: it's like.

1557
01:12:54,960 --> 01:12:56,679
Speaker 5: It's like you being in the marriage, but you still

1558
01:12:56,720 --> 01:12:59,240
Speaker 5: feel alone, you still feel lonely. And it's just like

1559
01:12:59,320 --> 01:13:00,920
Speaker 5: I said, I just wanted somebody to hear me, and

1560
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:03,439
Speaker 5: I just felt like talking to her it just it

1561
01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:06,519
Speaker 5: just you know, sometimes you can talk to people and

1562
01:13:06,600 --> 01:13:09,240
Speaker 5: they just look like they they'd listening, but I don't

1563
01:13:09,280 --> 01:13:11,240
Speaker 5: hear what you're saying, yeah, you know, And I felt

1564
01:13:11,320 --> 01:13:13,599
Speaker 5: like what I was saying to her was staying in her,

1565
01:13:13,720 --> 01:13:15,840
Speaker 5: you know. And I just felt like whatever I told

1566
01:13:15,920 --> 01:13:17,760
Speaker 5: her it was going to just stay with her.

1567
01:13:17,920 --> 01:13:18,080
Speaker 3: You know.

1568
01:13:18,240 --> 01:13:20,519
Speaker 2: So talk about that you tested on this and I

1569
01:13:20,640 --> 01:13:23,320
Speaker 2: want to get back to her. Why was it so

1570
01:13:23,680 --> 01:13:27,479
Speaker 2: heavy when she didn't believe you and you was just

1571
01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:30,080
Speaker 2: like you ignored her call? How long did that last?

1572
01:13:30,600 --> 01:13:32,759
Speaker 2: Oh like ten fifteen minutes.

1573
01:13:33,960 --> 01:13:36,600
Speaker 3: I to be mad at her that, well, don't you

1574
01:13:36,640 --> 01:13:36,960
Speaker 3: see her?

1575
01:13:37,160 --> 01:13:39,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, that wasn't an argument.

1576
01:13:39,560 --> 01:13:42,400
Speaker 3: That was just I was mad she called me.

1577
01:13:42,439 --> 01:13:43,080
Speaker 2: I didn't answer.

1578
01:13:43,280 --> 01:13:46,280
Speaker 1: Well one call, I feel like it was the next

1579
01:13:46,439 --> 01:13:48,880
Speaker 1: day that was like she felt to the fifteen minutes,

1580
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:52,040
Speaker 1: because I feel like it was the next day.

1581
01:13:52,680 --> 01:13:54,720
Speaker 3: No, it was an next d No I talked to you.

1582
01:13:57,800 --> 01:13:59,439
Speaker 3: I couldn't go on theday. I didn't know that.

1583
01:14:00,479 --> 01:14:02,960
Speaker 2: So why did that hit you so hard? You said

1584
01:14:02,960 --> 01:14:04,240
Speaker 2: you had opened up, you had shared.

1585
01:14:04,640 --> 01:14:08,400
Speaker 5: I mean it's because I felt like at that moment

1586
01:14:08,760 --> 01:14:11,840
Speaker 5: there were people that were around her trying to tear

1587
01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:15,120
Speaker 5: what we were just trying to build, you know, and

1588
01:14:16,160 --> 01:14:17,960
Speaker 5: you know, sometimes you could be in a relationship and

1589
01:14:18,560 --> 01:14:20,600
Speaker 5: something happened and then come to find out that was

1590
01:14:20,680 --> 01:14:24,320
Speaker 5: actually your person. You know, sometimes you missed those chances.

1591
01:14:24,560 --> 01:14:27,240
Speaker 5: And you know, again we in our fifties. I don't

1592
01:14:27,240 --> 01:14:28,960
Speaker 5: have time to play games. I mean, if I'm gonna

1593
01:14:28,960 --> 01:14:30,519
Speaker 5: play games, I might as well stay single and play

1594
01:14:30,520 --> 01:14:33,479
Speaker 5: all the games I won't facts. So I just I

1595
01:14:33,600 --> 01:14:35,519
Speaker 5: just felt like I found my person.

1596
01:14:35,640 --> 01:14:39,400
Speaker 1: And I think also you shared that your previous relationship

1597
01:14:39,880 --> 01:14:45,040
Speaker 1: there were women had done that with her and exactly

1598
01:14:45,880 --> 01:14:48,840
Speaker 1: so he had already been traumatized by it and was like, please,

1599
01:14:48,880 --> 01:14:49,920
Speaker 1: we're not doing this again.

1600
01:14:50,760 --> 01:14:53,640
Speaker 2: So you're like, I'm gonna tell you the truth and

1601
01:14:53,840 --> 01:14:56,160
Speaker 2: be transparent and got to go.

1602
01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:59,040
Speaker 5: Then it was one that like really became real close

1603
01:14:59,160 --> 01:15:02,280
Speaker 5: to her, and then I eventually found out they had

1604
01:15:02,320 --> 01:15:04,600
Speaker 5: a tior motives because they were trying to come on

1605
01:15:04,680 --> 01:15:04,880
Speaker 5: to me.

1606
01:15:05,280 --> 01:15:05,439
Speaker 2: Right.

1607
01:15:06,479 --> 01:15:09,240
Speaker 1: I felt like after he shared this story, I felt

1608
01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:12,759
Speaker 1: like what he was saying, that person intentionally was going

1609
01:15:12,920 --> 01:15:17,960
Speaker 1: to his ex and telling her lies because she was

1610
01:15:18,240 --> 01:15:20,320
Speaker 1: close to the group as far as helping them do

1611
01:15:20,439 --> 01:15:23,559
Speaker 1: certain things, and so she was kind of on the inside,

1612
01:15:23,960 --> 01:15:25,320
Speaker 1: so she would circle back.

1613
01:15:25,240 --> 01:15:27,080
Speaker 6: To the wife and put little nuggets.

1614
01:15:27,479 --> 01:15:30,880
Speaker 3: I feel her brain person had a little bit part

1615
01:15:31,080 --> 01:15:32,960
Speaker 3: of my divorce as.

1616
01:15:32,840 --> 01:15:33,439
Speaker 2: Well, you know.

1617
01:15:34,080 --> 01:15:37,640
Speaker 1: And it's crazy because honestly, a lot of people, you know,

1618
01:15:37,720 --> 01:15:41,360
Speaker 1: we always are in many cases, we look at the

1619
01:15:41,439 --> 01:15:43,439
Speaker 1: wife how they're feeling. A lot of people don't think

1620
01:15:43,560 --> 01:15:46,519
Speaker 1: men are hurt by divorces. When I talked to him,

1621
01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:51,840
Speaker 1: he was genuinely hurt by that because you feel like

1622
01:15:51,960 --> 01:15:52,479
Speaker 1: you failed.

1623
01:15:52,880 --> 01:15:55,599
Speaker 2: Imagine is put words to put language to a rico.

1624
01:15:56,200 --> 01:15:59,080
Speaker 2: How did you feel about both your divorces?

1625
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:04,840
Speaker 3: I mean my first one, first time being married. You know,

1626
01:16:05,280 --> 01:16:06,320
Speaker 3: do I feel like we rushed it?

1627
01:16:06,439 --> 01:16:06,599
Speaker 2: Yes?

1628
01:16:07,040 --> 01:16:10,240
Speaker 5: You know, because I was like, when she said she

1629
01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:12,880
Speaker 5: was pregnant, I was like, well might as well get married.

1630
01:16:12,920 --> 01:16:15,200
Speaker 5: So were walking down the aisle, she got a big stomach,

1631
01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:19,479
Speaker 5: you know. So I was learning about how old were

1632
01:16:19,520 --> 01:16:23,840
Speaker 5: you then? Who I think I was like, what twenty nine,

1633
01:16:24,120 --> 01:16:32,400
Speaker 5: twenty nine, thirty? Yeah, I was just learning. I mean

1634
01:16:32,479 --> 01:16:33,680
Speaker 5: just I was just it was just a learning. I

1635
01:16:33,800 --> 01:16:36,240
Speaker 5: never experienced it before, so, you know, just taking it

1636
01:16:36,320 --> 01:16:36,880
Speaker 5: day at a time.

1637
01:16:36,920 --> 01:16:43,040
Speaker 3: And just how did you feel like when you she fouled?

1638
01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:43,679
Speaker 2: Who fouled?

1639
01:16:43,760 --> 01:16:44,720
Speaker 3: I foul, all right?

1640
01:16:44,760 --> 01:16:47,839
Speaker 2: And so how did you feel too foul for divorce?

1641
01:16:50,920 --> 01:16:52,680
Speaker 3: I don't know, I just you know, I mean, at

1642
01:16:52,720 --> 01:16:54,200
Speaker 3: that moment, I was thinking about my kids.

1643
01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:57,439
Speaker 2: You know, how many kids did y'all have at the time?

1644
01:16:57,760 --> 01:16:59,840
Speaker 3: A son, but she had a daughter, but she was

1645
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:01,800
Speaker 3: basically my daughter. So it was like the two kids.

1646
01:17:02,360 --> 01:17:07,519
Speaker 5: And I just remember me always staying in the living

1647
01:17:07,600 --> 01:17:11,280
Speaker 5: room every morning. The kids see me in the living room,

1648
01:17:11,280 --> 01:17:14,000
Speaker 5: and I remember at that moment my stepdaughter was like, Dad,

1649
01:17:14,800 --> 01:17:15,760
Speaker 5: why are you always sleeping in.

1650
01:17:15,800 --> 01:17:16,280
Speaker 3: The living room?

1651
01:17:16,479 --> 01:17:18,840
Speaker 5: So I said, oh, because my back hurt, and that's

1652
01:17:18,840 --> 01:17:20,000
Speaker 5: why I can't lay in the bed, you know, just

1653
01:17:20,040 --> 01:17:22,160
Speaker 5: trying to find excuses. And I think at that moment

1654
01:17:22,280 --> 01:17:24,760
Speaker 5: that's when I said it was time for me to leave,

1655
01:17:24,800 --> 01:17:26,599
Speaker 5: because I feel like I was just lying to the kids.

1656
01:17:27,920 --> 01:17:30,960
Speaker 5: And I missed that kids coming home daddy, you know,

1657
01:17:31,200 --> 01:17:33,559
Speaker 5: I missed that. And then it's like I moved from

1658
01:17:33,600 --> 01:17:36,479
Speaker 5: this full bedroom house to a one bedroom apartment and

1659
01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:38,280
Speaker 5: I felt like the walls was closing in on me.

1660
01:17:38,520 --> 01:17:41,000
Speaker 3: And I was just like, did I make the right decision?

1661
01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:45,320
Speaker 3: You know, I wasn't hurt. I was just I was

1662
01:17:45,400 --> 01:17:46,680
Speaker 3: just kind of confused, you know.

1663
01:17:47,520 --> 01:17:49,160
Speaker 2: And then the second time, how did you feel?

1664
01:17:50,600 --> 01:17:52,120
Speaker 5: It was really COVID. I'm gonna be honest with you,

1665
01:17:52,200 --> 01:17:55,680
Speaker 5: it was COVID. You know, Like I said, COVID, you

1666
01:17:55,800 --> 01:17:58,840
Speaker 5: had two choices. It either separate you or brought you together.

1667
01:17:59,320 --> 01:18:02,280
Speaker 5: And you know, being cooped up in the house with

1668
01:18:02,439 --> 01:18:05,880
Speaker 5: one person all day, you know, I felt like I

1669
01:18:05,920 --> 01:18:08,120
Speaker 5: should have just throw the ring to her, you know,

1670
01:18:08,439 --> 01:18:10,720
Speaker 5: but I just did the right thing, you know, went

1671
01:18:10,760 --> 01:18:13,080
Speaker 5: through the whole process. Didn't really want to spend a

1672
01:18:13,120 --> 01:18:14,759
Speaker 5: lot of money, and we end up going to Vegas

1673
01:18:14,800 --> 01:18:17,519
Speaker 5: and spending a whole lot of money, But all that

1674
01:18:17,680 --> 01:18:18,160
Speaker 5: was for her.

1675
01:18:18,360 --> 01:18:20,160
Speaker 2: You know, y'all got married through COVID.

1676
01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:22,160
Speaker 5: COVID was oh, no, like right after COVID because we

1677
01:18:22,160 --> 01:18:23,680
Speaker 5: had people with the mask on and all that we

1678
01:18:23,800 --> 01:18:24,280
Speaker 5: was in Vegas.

1679
01:18:24,400 --> 01:18:27,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know. At first it was, oh, let's

1680
01:18:27,520 --> 01:18:30,840
Speaker 3: just through the courthouse, you know, and uh, how.

1681
01:18:30,840 --> 01:18:32,000
Speaker 2: Did you feel about the divorce?

1682
01:18:33,920 --> 01:18:42,280
Speaker 5: I I wasn't hurt. I guess I had so much

1683
01:18:42,360 --> 01:18:48,679
Speaker 5: pain inside from it not lasting long, and I felt

1684
01:18:48,800 --> 01:18:51,920
Speaker 5: like I wanted it to work because I didn't.

1685
01:18:51,960 --> 01:18:54,760
Speaker 3: I didn't want the divorce. But then I'm like, we.

1686
01:18:54,760 --> 01:18:57,680
Speaker 2: Didn't even last long, you know, like how long did

1687
01:18:57,760 --> 01:18:59,439
Speaker 2: y'all last? Well?

1688
01:18:59,479 --> 01:19:02,000
Speaker 5: I think it was finalized after two years, but honestly

1689
01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:04,519
Speaker 5: we broke up after six or seven months because we

1690
01:19:04,600 --> 01:19:07,960
Speaker 5: had already purchased a cruise. And I remember I was

1691
01:19:08,000 --> 01:19:10,360
Speaker 5: supposed to go to Morehouse College because we had an

1692
01:19:10,360 --> 01:19:13,160
Speaker 5: opportunity to speak to the young man in Morehouse and

1693
01:19:13,400 --> 01:19:15,679
Speaker 5: I told her. I said, well, I had an option

1694
01:19:16,640 --> 01:19:19,600
Speaker 5: saved my marriage. I'll go to Morehouse. I wanted to

1695
01:19:19,600 --> 01:19:22,479
Speaker 5: go to Morehouse. And then at the last minute, I said,

1696
01:19:22,520 --> 01:19:24,679
Speaker 5: you know what, I'm going to go in this cruise.

1697
01:19:24,680 --> 01:19:28,400
Speaker 5: I'm going to make this work because her best friend

1698
01:19:28,880 --> 01:19:31,559
Speaker 5: was going to go. So her best friend got mad

1699
01:19:31,600 --> 01:19:34,160
Speaker 5: at me because I made the last minute that I'm

1700
01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:35,760
Speaker 5: going to go in this cruise. Because she thought she

1701
01:19:35,840 --> 01:19:37,400
Speaker 5: was going to go in this crew. I said, no,

1702
01:19:37,840 --> 01:19:40,200
Speaker 5: you know, and we went and I mean, of course

1703
01:19:40,240 --> 01:19:44,120
Speaker 5: it was great, but I felt like everything got back

1704
01:19:44,240 --> 01:19:48,360
Speaker 5: to where it was because yep, after the cruise, I remember,

1705
01:19:48,360 --> 01:19:50,439
Speaker 5: because I went and played basketball and I left weights

1706
01:19:50,479 --> 01:19:53,360
Speaker 5: and that's when my spine snapped. And that's when I

1707
01:19:53,439 --> 01:19:55,400
Speaker 5: was in the hospital for a week. And I literally

1708
01:19:55,400 --> 01:19:58,000
Speaker 5: stayed in the hospital by myself and there was no

1709
01:19:58,080 --> 01:20:03,200
Speaker 5: support there, you know, and you start thinking even the

1710
01:20:03,280 --> 01:20:05,519
Speaker 5: time I lit on that table every day and the doctor,

1711
01:20:05,880 --> 01:20:07,160
Speaker 5: you know, every time I go and lay on a

1712
01:20:07,240 --> 01:20:09,000
Speaker 5: radiation tabe, I always say he was like some music,

1713
01:20:09,200 --> 01:20:11,519
Speaker 5: and I said, no, I took that fifteen minutes and

1714
01:20:11,600 --> 01:20:14,080
Speaker 5: I just reflect, Oh, what's going on in my life?

1715
01:20:14,160 --> 01:20:17,240
Speaker 3: And he's really there for me, and I just lay there.

1716
01:20:17,560 --> 01:20:19,960
Speaker 5: I just felt like I was by myself, and you know,

1717
01:20:20,439 --> 01:20:22,479
Speaker 5: at some point, you're like, I could just do it

1718
01:20:22,560 --> 01:20:24,840
Speaker 5: by myself, you know, if you don't have somebody that's

1719
01:20:24,880 --> 01:20:27,519
Speaker 5: there that you're supposed to be there for, you know.

1720
01:20:27,760 --> 01:20:29,960
Speaker 5: And then when I think about all the financial part,

1721
01:20:30,320 --> 01:20:34,000
Speaker 5: I'm there for them, So I'm like, am I just

1722
01:20:34,080 --> 01:20:37,200
Speaker 5: here for the money? Am I being used for the money?

1723
01:20:37,560 --> 01:20:40,600
Speaker 5: Because whenever that person needs something, I'm there. And I

1724
01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:41,519
Speaker 5: didn't need money from them.

1725
01:20:41,560 --> 01:20:42,000
Speaker 2: I was good.

1726
01:20:42,200 --> 01:20:44,680
Speaker 5: I just need the emotional support and I didn't get that.

1727
01:20:45,240 --> 01:20:47,479
Speaker 5: So I just needed somebody to listen to. And I

1728
01:20:47,640 --> 01:20:49,360
Speaker 5: met her and I just felt like I was talking

1729
01:20:49,400 --> 01:20:51,439
Speaker 5: to her. She was just looking at me, she was

1730
01:20:51,520 --> 01:20:53,840
Speaker 5: just hearing me. And she always tell people I give

1731
01:20:53,880 --> 01:20:56,920
Speaker 5: her a presentation. It took two hours, but like I said,

1732
01:20:57,400 --> 01:21:01,760
Speaker 5: we never talked about no real relationship. We just talked

1733
01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:03,599
Speaker 5: as friends and just hearing each other out.

1734
01:21:03,680 --> 01:21:05,479
Speaker 3: And you know, what do you like to do and

1735
01:21:05,560 --> 01:21:06,200
Speaker 3: what do I like to do?

1736
01:21:06,400 --> 01:21:06,640
Speaker 2: That's it?

1737
01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:08,879
Speaker 4: And so when did y'all get engaged?

1738
01:21:10,439 --> 01:21:13,160
Speaker 3: August twenty five? Okay?

1739
01:21:14,680 --> 01:21:17,120
Speaker 4: And what how did it go?

1740
01:21:17,280 --> 01:21:19,120
Speaker 6: I want to hear, like, what was the engagement?

1741
01:21:19,280 --> 01:21:19,320
Speaker 2: Like?

1742
01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:23,280
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't see it coming, okay, because we didn't really.

1743
01:21:23,600 --> 01:21:26,080
Speaker 1: I mean, we mentioned the word marriage, but it wasn't

1744
01:21:26,160 --> 01:21:27,160
Speaker 1: a focus.

1745
01:21:27,800 --> 01:21:30,519
Speaker 3: I mean, it's a video that probably had over twenty

1746
01:21:30,920 --> 01:21:31,800
Speaker 3: million views.

1747
01:21:31,920 --> 01:21:32,200
Speaker 4: Wow.

1748
01:21:32,400 --> 01:21:34,280
Speaker 3: Really we was at her family reunion.

1749
01:21:34,720 --> 01:21:38,160
Speaker 5: And her family reunion they did a fashion show, so

1750
01:21:38,880 --> 01:21:42,000
Speaker 5: we had on our outfit and I'm like nervous because

1751
01:21:42,040 --> 01:21:44,519
Speaker 5: I'm trying to figure out how can I present it

1752
01:21:44,640 --> 01:21:47,439
Speaker 5: to her without her seeing as big not my pocket?

1753
01:21:47,479 --> 01:21:52,120
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, here's that's back up. So in the fashion show,

1754
01:21:52,120 --> 01:21:55,439
Speaker 1: you typically only model one time. He said, we going

1755
01:21:55,479 --> 01:21:57,559
Speaker 1: two outfits, and I'm like, why are we doing two outfits?

1756
01:21:57,600 --> 01:21:58,679
Speaker 6: We ain't never done this before.

1757
01:21:59,120 --> 01:22:01,240
Speaker 3: It's my family reunion. Why we gotta do two outfits.

1758
01:22:01,320 --> 01:22:03,360
Speaker 1: I'm sitting here trying to figure this out, like I

1759
01:22:03,400 --> 01:22:06,280
Speaker 1: don't understand why we gotta do two outfits. So we

1760
01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:08,880
Speaker 1: do our first outfit, and I think we went first

1761
01:22:08,920 --> 01:22:10,280
Speaker 1: and then they were gonna have us do it at

1762
01:22:10,320 --> 01:22:13,559
Speaker 1: the end. So I changed ready for the second outfit,

1763
01:22:13,640 --> 01:22:16,519
Speaker 1: and you know, we coordinating everything, and there was.

1764
01:22:16,520 --> 01:22:19,920
Speaker 6: A dance that we had done. It was a video

1765
01:22:20,280 --> 01:22:21,479
Speaker 6: that we had done, a.

1766
01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:25,519
Speaker 3: Dance line dance type video, and so he's like, we're gonna.

1767
01:22:25,280 --> 01:22:28,800
Speaker 6: Do this line dance and I'm like, okay, this is

1768
01:22:28,880 --> 01:22:29,559
Speaker 6: all weird.

1769
01:22:30,280 --> 01:22:30,960
Speaker 2: So we.

1770
01:22:32,720 --> 01:22:34,720
Speaker 1: Put our outfits on, we go down the aisle, and

1771
01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:37,840
Speaker 1: then we do the line dance and next thing I know,

1772
01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:40,320
Speaker 1: I kind of glanced over my shoulder. He's bending down

1773
01:22:40,400 --> 01:22:42,160
Speaker 1: and in my mind I thought he was chin his shoe.

1774
01:22:42,520 --> 01:22:46,240
Speaker 1: And I'm sitting here, I'm mad because I'm like, he

1775
01:22:46,320 --> 01:22:47,439
Speaker 1: got us doing this line dance.

1776
01:22:47,479 --> 01:22:50,080
Speaker 3: He chin his shoe shoe?

1777
01:22:51,439 --> 01:22:56,160
Speaker 6: Why is he tying his shoe right now. Next thing

1778
01:22:56,240 --> 01:22:59,000
Speaker 6: I know, I turn around, He's on his knees and

1779
01:22:59,760 --> 01:23:00,599
Speaker 6: I said.

1780
01:23:00,600 --> 01:23:04,040
Speaker 3: And you close. My mouth was on the floor front

1781
01:23:04,080 --> 01:23:07,400
Speaker 3: of my family.

1782
01:23:07,439 --> 01:23:12,120
Speaker 6: I said, why y'all didn't come close my I literally

1783
01:23:12,280 --> 01:23:12,839
Speaker 6: am frozen.

1784
01:23:13,000 --> 01:23:15,280
Speaker 3: My feet looked like she need feet all the way.

1785
01:23:16,040 --> 01:23:17,160
Speaker 3: She looks like she's bulllegged.

1786
01:23:18,880 --> 01:23:21,280
Speaker 1: Love me, because y'all should have said, hold on, wait

1787
01:23:21,320 --> 01:23:24,760
Speaker 1: a second, first of all, fix your feet and now.

1788
01:23:25,400 --> 01:23:28,360
Speaker 1: But nobody said anything to me about this, so of

1789
01:23:28,400 --> 01:23:30,880
Speaker 1: course a lot of the comments were she's frozen in place.

1790
01:23:32,920 --> 01:23:36,360
Speaker 1: I'm literally frozen because I didn't see it coming. He

1791
01:23:36,520 --> 01:23:38,760
Speaker 1: did a very good job of hiding it. And it's

1792
01:23:38,800 --> 01:23:41,200
Speaker 1: funny because he would always say, so you ever gonna

1793
01:23:41,200 --> 01:23:41,880
Speaker 1: ask me to marry you?

1794
01:23:41,960 --> 01:23:48,360
Speaker 6: And I'm like, no, absolutely not. I'm right, I don't

1795
01:23:48,400 --> 01:23:49,160
Speaker 6: see it coming.

1796
01:23:49,400 --> 01:23:51,880
Speaker 3: You know, I'm thinking we're just gonna be friends. I'm

1797
01:23:51,920 --> 01:23:52,439
Speaker 3: okay with that.

1798
01:23:53,680 --> 01:23:55,360
Speaker 2: Y'all literally went from friend the fiance.

1799
01:23:56,200 --> 01:23:58,360
Speaker 1: Well not really, I mean at this time I'm in

1800
01:23:58,439 --> 01:24:03,920
Speaker 1: Houston with living togethership, but I I had I'm like,

1801
01:24:04,080 --> 01:24:05,800
Speaker 1: you know, maybe it just meant for us to, you know,

1802
01:24:06,080 --> 01:24:09,639
Speaker 1: be I don't know now as a Christian, I'm thinking

1803
01:24:09,920 --> 01:24:13,680
Speaker 1: that's not okay. But I just didn't know where his

1804
01:24:13,920 --> 01:24:15,639
Speaker 1: you know, he would always play with me. So I'm

1805
01:24:15,680 --> 01:24:17,439
Speaker 1: thinking maybe he doesn't want to get married.

1806
01:24:17,600 --> 01:24:18,720
Speaker 3: I mean, we talked about it.

1807
01:24:18,800 --> 01:24:20,560
Speaker 1: He sounded like he did, but I'm not going to

1808
01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:23,519
Speaker 1: ask you. So that is if that's what you expected,

1809
01:24:23,720 --> 01:24:25,120
Speaker 1: I guess we're never going to get married.

1810
01:24:26,280 --> 01:24:28,880
Speaker 2: How did you start changing your mindset about desire marriage?

1811
01:24:29,439 --> 01:24:31,479
Speaker 2: Because remember you was was on the thing about.

1812
01:24:32,040 --> 01:24:36,000
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I I absolutely had yes.

1813
01:24:36,600 --> 01:24:40,160
Speaker 1: At this point, I'm thinking, Okay, he changed, And always

1814
01:24:40,160 --> 01:24:41,920
Speaker 1: say he came in my life and changed my he

1815
01:24:42,040 --> 01:24:43,280
Speaker 1: messed my whole world.

1816
01:24:43,760 --> 01:24:49,280
Speaker 3: Yeah was a bad thing, you mess up my whole plan?

1817
01:24:49,520 --> 01:24:50,200
Speaker 3: Was it a bad thing?

1818
01:24:51,560 --> 01:24:52,679
Speaker 2: Living my best life?

1819
01:24:52,760 --> 01:24:53,080
Speaker 1: Going on.

1820
01:24:56,200 --> 01:24:56,519
Speaker 3: About it?

1821
01:24:56,840 --> 01:25:01,240
Speaker 1: He's had enhanced my life because I always say, you know,

1822
01:25:01,400 --> 01:25:06,799
Speaker 1: you know, when you have a real man that takes

1823
01:25:06,880 --> 01:25:11,200
Speaker 1: you and also wants to see you grow and do good,

1824
01:25:11,360 --> 01:25:13,479
Speaker 1: you don't find that a lot a lot of men

1825
01:25:13,600 --> 01:25:17,280
Speaker 1: try to reduce you, or people, not just men. I'm

1826
01:25:17,320 --> 01:25:19,160
Speaker 1: sure there's women that try to take a man and

1827
01:25:19,240 --> 01:25:22,320
Speaker 1: reduce them and keep you in this this is my person,

1828
01:25:22,360 --> 01:25:24,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put them in this box and when I

1829
01:25:24,400 --> 01:25:26,240
Speaker 1: open it, like Jack in the box. They'll pop out

1830
01:25:26,280 --> 01:25:31,320
Speaker 1: and I'm closing, you know, my own way, like I'm

1831
01:25:31,360 --> 01:25:32,240
Speaker 1: a beautiful butterfly.

1832
01:25:32,920 --> 01:25:34,599
Speaker 3: Pull that box, put it around there.

1833
01:25:38,400 --> 01:25:41,040
Speaker 6: So I always felt like I was being reduced, but

1834
01:25:41,160 --> 01:25:44,080
Speaker 6: he did the opposite. He just took me and he's like,

1835
01:25:44,200 --> 01:25:46,760
Speaker 6: this is butterfly, go fly, I want you to fly

1836
01:25:46,920 --> 01:25:47,320
Speaker 6: over there.

1837
01:25:47,320 --> 01:25:48,479
Speaker 3: I want you to fly over there.

1838
01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:50,640
Speaker 6: And he didn't come back and go now, go back

1839
01:25:50,680 --> 01:25:52,960
Speaker 6: in your box. It's never he's never been like that.

1840
01:25:53,080 --> 01:25:57,600
Speaker 1: He's always that, but he has always pushed me to

1841
01:25:57,680 --> 01:26:01,320
Speaker 1: be better, push me to to continue to grow. We

1842
01:26:01,479 --> 01:26:04,720
Speaker 1: bounce ideas off of each other, and he even I mean,

1843
01:26:04,760 --> 01:26:07,000
Speaker 1: he'll listen, he'll I'll say something, and you have to

1844
01:26:07,080 --> 01:26:08,479
Speaker 1: know how to say it because you know you wanted

1845
01:26:08,520 --> 01:26:20,640
Speaker 1: to be his idea sometimes butt, so.

1846
01:26:20,880 --> 01:26:21,759
Speaker 3: You have to be careful.

1847
01:26:25,160 --> 01:26:27,040
Speaker 2: Why do you find that's so funny? The only time

1848
01:26:27,080 --> 01:26:28,040
Speaker 2: you laugh the whole episode?

1849
01:26:34,479 --> 01:26:37,880
Speaker 1: And so I present things and you know it'll be

1850
01:26:37,920 --> 01:26:40,000
Speaker 1: funny because at first you can see his mind like

1851
01:26:40,120 --> 01:26:43,280
Speaker 1: thinking like and then later on he'd be like, okay,

1852
01:26:43,320 --> 01:26:46,719
Speaker 1: so when you said that, he's putting it into perspective

1853
01:26:46,760 --> 01:26:48,639
Speaker 1: and he's creating and he's like Okay, I like that idea,

1854
01:26:49,120 --> 01:26:51,799
Speaker 1: you know, so he'll you know, it's funny because I'll

1855
01:26:51,840 --> 01:26:55,080
Speaker 1: say things he actually he's listening and he's actually doing

1856
01:26:55,120 --> 01:26:56,040
Speaker 1: a lot of those things.

1857
01:26:56,120 --> 01:26:58,160
Speaker 6: But we we bounce a lot of I mean, last

1858
01:26:58,240 --> 01:26:59,280
Speaker 6: night we probably came up.

1859
01:26:59,240 --> 01:27:02,160
Speaker 3: With five different things they're gonna do.

1860
01:27:02,520 --> 01:27:08,000
Speaker 1: So we're because of thinking and growing together and making plans.

1861
01:27:07,680 --> 01:27:10,120
Speaker 3: For the next the next big thing.

1862
01:27:10,200 --> 01:27:12,160
Speaker 2: Were you were you already a content creator?

1863
01:27:12,560 --> 01:27:14,160
Speaker 6: I was not at a.

1864
01:27:14,560 --> 01:27:20,080
Speaker 3: Little A little I was to Houston. She had one thousand,

1865
01:27:20,439 --> 01:27:22,439
Speaker 3: five hundred and thirty eight followers.

1866
01:27:23,640 --> 01:27:26,200
Speaker 6: So I would do fitness.

1867
01:27:26,240 --> 01:27:28,280
Speaker 1: I've always been in fitness, and so a lot of

1868
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:31,559
Speaker 1: my videos were fitness related, and in fact, I owned

1869
01:27:31,600 --> 01:27:34,599
Speaker 1: my own studio at one time, and if you look back,

1870
01:27:34,880 --> 01:27:37,960
Speaker 1: and I think it was twenty ten, I had videos

1871
01:27:38,000 --> 01:27:41,479
Speaker 1: of me teaching classes and in my studio, so I

1872
01:27:41,680 --> 01:27:44,760
Speaker 1: kind of did but I was promoting my boot camps.

1873
01:27:44,520 --> 01:27:45,080
Speaker 3: And things like that.

1874
01:27:45,280 --> 01:27:47,639
Speaker 1: So I did that many many years ago and then

1875
01:27:48,200 --> 01:27:50,559
Speaker 1: kind of quit posting about it and until I kind

1876
01:27:50,600 --> 01:27:53,719
Speaker 1: of reinvented myself, if you will. I would post videos

1877
01:27:53,760 --> 01:27:57,160
Speaker 1: of me working out and our videos of us traveling,

1878
01:27:57,240 --> 01:27:59,760
Speaker 1: my girlfriends and I so I mean, yes, but not.

1879
01:27:59,800 --> 01:28:05,400
Speaker 6: To this extent. What's what's your Instagram more thick underscore fitness.

1880
01:28:05,479 --> 01:28:07,880
Speaker 2: That's what I was I put in molbe. I think

1881
01:28:08,160 --> 01:28:12,679
Speaker 2: it's thick. You can say you thick talking about thick.

1882
01:28:13,600 --> 01:28:16,680
Speaker 3: So as a young girl and you know, growing up

1883
01:28:16,720 --> 01:28:16,920
Speaker 3: in the.

1884
01:28:17,120 --> 01:28:20,640
Speaker 2: Also when he said that, so you grew on like

1885
01:28:20,760 --> 01:28:24,519
Speaker 2: forty five thousand followers in the last two years, and

1886
01:28:24,640 --> 01:28:28,200
Speaker 2: so y'all started doing couples post together.

1887
01:28:29,360 --> 01:28:32,200
Speaker 5: I posted on mine and then I tag her because

1888
01:28:32,200 --> 01:28:34,439
Speaker 5: I had the followers, So of course they started.

1889
01:28:34,720 --> 01:28:36,360
Speaker 2: They got nosy. They were like, who this woman?

1890
01:28:36,400 --> 01:28:36,880
Speaker 3: Who is one?

1891
01:28:38,360 --> 01:28:40,560
Speaker 6: They're like, you don't have to you don't have to

1892
01:28:40,640 --> 01:28:42,479
Speaker 6: show her, you don't have to do this, you don't

1893
01:28:42,520 --> 01:28:42,720
Speaker 6: have that.

1894
01:28:43,439 --> 01:28:46,320
Speaker 3: I think that's just a model, they said.

1895
01:28:46,360 --> 01:28:49,040
Speaker 1: When I was a model and I wasn't real our

1896
01:28:49,120 --> 01:28:50,400
Speaker 1: chemistry what y'all don't look like?

1897
01:28:50,479 --> 01:28:52,240
Speaker 6: Y'all like each other in hand.

1898
01:28:52,520 --> 01:28:54,559
Speaker 5: And see, I'm always coming out of the elevator. Everybody

1899
01:28:54,640 --> 01:28:56,519
Speaker 5: knows me as the elevator man. I'm always coming at

1900
01:28:56,520 --> 01:28:58,680
Speaker 5: the elevator with the right music, with the suit on

1901
01:28:58,760 --> 01:28:59,479
Speaker 5: and everything like that.

1902
01:29:00,400 --> 01:29:03,680
Speaker 3: And never came out of an elevator woman. And they

1903
01:29:03,720 --> 01:29:05,519
Speaker 3: they're like oh, she just.

1904
01:29:05,720 --> 01:29:07,880
Speaker 2: Pop out on them the model.

1905
01:29:09,840 --> 01:29:12,439
Speaker 6: Yeah, I thought it was like a like a skin.

1906
01:29:13,600 --> 01:29:13,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1907
01:29:14,200 --> 01:29:15,840
Speaker 3: So now we have fun with it. Now we call

1908
01:29:15,880 --> 01:29:18,960
Speaker 3: it Elevated Chronicles one, two, three, four, eight, ninet ten.

1909
01:29:19,080 --> 01:29:20,479
Speaker 3: So we just have fun with this.

1910
01:29:20,960 --> 01:29:21,080
Speaker 7: Now.

1911
01:29:21,120 --> 01:29:25,360
Speaker 5: We got scenes where like I tested it, where as

1912
01:29:25,439 --> 01:29:27,120
Speaker 5: the door was closing, we was about to kiss, and

1913
01:29:27,160 --> 01:29:28,280
Speaker 5: then they're like, oh no, no, we want to see

1914
01:29:28,280 --> 01:29:30,160
Speaker 5: the kiss. So now we got it where you know,

1915
01:29:30,439 --> 01:29:32,760
Speaker 5: either I come off first or she come out. Then

1916
01:29:33,240 --> 01:29:35,519
Speaker 5: we have a lot of bloopers that nobody don't see.

1917
01:29:35,880 --> 01:29:37,599
Speaker 5: So there was one num where I walk in out

1918
01:29:37,600 --> 01:29:39,800
Speaker 5: the elevator, she walked in the elevator door hit her

1919
01:29:40,760 --> 01:29:43,920
Speaker 5: and I let that be seen, and they love it.

1920
01:29:44,080 --> 01:29:44,920
Speaker 3: So we just have fun.

1921
01:29:45,280 --> 01:29:46,280
Speaker 6: Now they love us.

1922
01:29:46,320 --> 01:29:49,439
Speaker 1: But at first there was a lot of women, you know,

1923
01:29:49,680 --> 01:29:52,000
Speaker 1: there was a lot, But I think what they wanted

1924
01:29:52,040 --> 01:29:53,320
Speaker 1: to see, what a lot of people want to see

1925
01:29:53,439 --> 01:29:55,000
Speaker 1: is that you're human, that you're relatable.

1926
01:29:55,760 --> 01:29:57,320
Speaker 5: For One of the things that happened to when you

1927
01:29:57,439 --> 01:30:01,000
Speaker 5: move it was word out on the street. I left

1928
01:30:01,120 --> 01:30:03,679
Speaker 5: my wife for a thirty five year old.

1929
01:30:05,400 --> 01:30:06,080
Speaker 2: Are you thirty five?

1930
01:30:07,800 --> 01:30:10,560
Speaker 3: They're both the same as they're both fifty one, and

1931
01:30:10,800 --> 01:30:11,320
Speaker 3: he said.

1932
01:30:11,360 --> 01:30:14,720
Speaker 2: So that that's that's the Did that catch a lot

1933
01:30:14,800 --> 01:30:17,799
Speaker 2: of wind that a lot of people are spread?

1934
01:30:17,920 --> 01:30:19,360
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, A lot of people thought I was in

1935
01:30:19,439 --> 01:30:21,240
Speaker 3: my thirties. There's thirty five.

1936
01:30:21,560 --> 01:30:23,920
Speaker 5: I had a lot of inbox message I can't believe you.

1937
01:30:24,280 --> 01:30:26,320
Speaker 5: Then it was one where oh I heard you left

1938
01:30:26,360 --> 01:30:27,360
Speaker 5: your wife in the hospital.

1939
01:30:27,840 --> 01:30:31,280
Speaker 3: What wow? I mean that's the whole story.

1940
01:30:31,400 --> 01:30:33,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, So when you've been a content creator for

1941
01:30:34,640 --> 01:30:35,200
Speaker 4: for how long?

1942
01:30:35,439 --> 01:30:36,439
Speaker 3: For years? For years?

1943
01:30:36,520 --> 01:30:38,680
Speaker 5: I always do motivation always. I mean I do a

1944
01:30:38,720 --> 01:30:41,200
Speaker 5: lot of motivational speaking, I do seminars, I do it all.

1945
01:30:41,760 --> 01:30:44,599
Speaker 5: So they got a singlelong going on today, right, Yes, yes, yes,

1946
01:30:44,640 --> 01:30:46,439
Speaker 5: we have a sing alone and you know, a lot

1947
01:30:46,439 --> 01:30:50,200
Speaker 5: of people don't know this. It's I don't even want

1948
01:30:50,200 --> 01:30:53,320
Speaker 5: to say a second career. But we have something also

1949
01:30:54,000 --> 01:30:57,800
Speaker 5: and it's oh yeah, it's called Love and Lyrics and

1950
01:30:57,920 --> 01:31:01,320
Speaker 5: it's for couples. So it's basically karaoke for the nineties

1951
01:31:01,640 --> 01:31:03,639
Speaker 5: for couples. So that's what we're getting ready to start

1952
01:31:03,680 --> 01:31:04,000
Speaker 5: doing now.

1953
01:31:04,200 --> 01:31:06,519
Speaker 1: Because a lot of those events are women. It's all

1954
01:31:06,560 --> 01:31:10,040
Speaker 1: single mostly so those single women, and so as we

1955
01:31:10,360 --> 01:31:13,120
Speaker 1: continue to evolve and grow, we're constantly thinking of ways

1956
01:31:13,160 --> 01:31:15,760
Speaker 1: to do things as a couple, and so we came.

1957
01:31:15,880 --> 01:31:16,799
Speaker 3: That was one of our creations.

1958
01:31:16,920 --> 01:31:21,040
Speaker 5: Just last podcast too called with THREEC and Mo and

1959
01:31:21,160 --> 01:31:24,000
Speaker 5: we have so many couples. Like we was in Houston

1960
01:31:24,040 --> 01:31:26,000
Speaker 5: not too long ago at an event and a guy

1961
01:31:26,120 --> 01:31:27,920
Speaker 5: walk up to me and he said, Man, me and

1962
01:31:28,000 --> 01:31:30,479
Speaker 5: my wife is here because of you guys. Last night

1963
01:31:30,760 --> 01:31:33,679
Speaker 5: we were in out they were like three to four people. Hey,

1964
01:31:34,280 --> 01:31:36,600
Speaker 5: I see y'all on social media. I love y'all in

1965
01:31:36,680 --> 01:31:38,439
Speaker 5: this and that I was at the airport. Lady was like,

1966
01:31:38,680 --> 01:31:42,360
Speaker 5: I just love you and your wife. Ooh the what

1967
01:31:42,479 --> 01:31:43,320
Speaker 5: she said social media?

1968
01:31:43,360 --> 01:31:44,880
Speaker 3: And do no do you know? Just you know? So,

1969
01:31:44,960 --> 01:31:45,760
Speaker 3: I mean, we get that a lot.

1970
01:31:45,840 --> 01:31:48,280
Speaker 2: So y'all started you started tagging her how long ago?

1971
01:31:48,640 --> 01:31:50,040
Speaker 3: Oh, when she moved here?

1972
01:31:50,400 --> 01:31:51,240
Speaker 2: So how long ago was that?

1973
01:31:52,320 --> 01:31:52,519
Speaker 3: Sure?

1974
01:31:52,680 --> 01:31:55,920
Speaker 6: No, No, I moved in twenty four September of twenty four.

1975
01:31:56,800 --> 01:31:59,920
Speaker 2: Really, so you just started tagging her and you just

1976
01:32:00,160 --> 01:32:02,519
Speaker 2: you just came real public with your relationship. So that's

1977
01:32:02,560 --> 01:32:04,800
Speaker 2: why they kept saying you went from a marriage to

1978
01:32:05,280 --> 01:32:07,040
Speaker 2: now a public relationship in the same year.

1979
01:32:07,360 --> 01:32:10,000
Speaker 5: And then because the way she danced, her outfits every

1980
01:32:10,080 --> 01:32:12,800
Speaker 5: video that she has when she danced, she's averaging five

1981
01:32:12,840 --> 01:32:13,840
Speaker 5: to ten million views.

1982
01:32:14,680 --> 01:32:18,639
Speaker 3: So now she has dance line dance class in Houston

1983
01:32:18,960 --> 01:32:19,599
Speaker 3: July first.

1984
01:32:19,840 --> 01:32:22,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, so she's okay, line dance classes, we would have

1985
01:32:23,000 --> 01:32:23,479
Speaker 4: to come down.

1986
01:32:24,320 --> 01:32:26,200
Speaker 6: So now that and that's the other thing.

1987
01:32:26,360 --> 01:32:28,560
Speaker 1: So we want to grow into because I feel like

1988
01:32:28,640 --> 01:32:32,960
Speaker 1: everything is gender like specific, and so as a couple,

1989
01:32:33,080 --> 01:32:35,519
Speaker 1: it's like we've got to create things for other couples.

1990
01:32:35,800 --> 01:32:38,479
Speaker 1: So couples want to come. So let's line Let's bring

1991
01:32:38,560 --> 01:32:41,880
Speaker 1: a couple's line dance. Let's do couples R and B together.

1992
01:32:41,960 --> 01:32:43,120
Speaker 1: Can you imagine singing each other?

1993
01:32:43,160 --> 01:32:46,519
Speaker 6: Oh, that's our song, keeps waiting. So we just thought

1994
01:32:46,560 --> 01:32:47,240
Speaker 6: about that last night.

1995
01:32:47,320 --> 01:32:48,240
Speaker 3: So another part of.

1996
01:32:48,280 --> 01:32:50,800
Speaker 1: Me is I grew up with a lot A lot

1997
01:32:50,800 --> 01:32:52,600
Speaker 1: of us in the seventies and eighties did with a

1998
01:32:52,760 --> 01:32:53,599
Speaker 1: lot of music.

1999
01:32:53,760 --> 01:32:55,920
Speaker 3: My parents were playing, my dad was playing.

2000
01:32:55,680 --> 01:32:59,880
Speaker 1: The Commodorees, the Ojys, and my mom loves Stevie Wonder.

2001
01:33:00,200 --> 01:33:02,439
Speaker 1: So I grew up on all of that. But I

2002
01:33:02,520 --> 01:33:04,800
Speaker 1: didn't just leave it there. I expanded. I mean, of course,

2003
01:33:04,840 --> 01:33:06,599
Speaker 1: we had Michael Jackson, we had some of the best

2004
01:33:06,640 --> 01:33:10,160
Speaker 1: we have Whitney Houston, we had Lover, like all these groups.

2005
01:33:10,200 --> 01:33:11,639
Speaker 3: So I've always been inspired by.

2006
01:33:11,680 --> 01:33:14,000
Speaker 1: Music and dance, and so I've always went to DJ,

2007
01:33:14,960 --> 01:33:19,000
Speaker 1: so I'm getting ready to be trained in DJing. So

2008
01:33:19,280 --> 01:33:22,519
Speaker 1: in this love and lyrics, I'm gonna be the DJ.

2009
01:33:23,479 --> 01:33:25,719
Speaker 5: And I have no problem hosting because all my friends

2010
01:33:25,760 --> 01:33:27,120
Speaker 5: be like, okay, we're going that's not I'll stop.

2011
01:33:27,479 --> 01:33:28,639
Speaker 3: They always said I talk too much?

2012
01:33:29,360 --> 01:33:30,439
Speaker 4: Can you dance?

2013
01:33:31,600 --> 01:33:36,840
Speaker 3: I think I'm the best dancer, Let's be clear. Yeah, dance.

2014
01:33:38,800 --> 01:33:41,519
Speaker 5: And because I know everybody on social media talk about it,

2015
01:33:41,920 --> 01:33:44,599
Speaker 5: So I dance, and I'm in my own world.

2016
01:33:44,920 --> 01:33:45,559
Speaker 3: I go out there.

2017
01:33:45,560 --> 01:33:48,000
Speaker 5: Why everybody's line dancing, but I do my own thing.

2018
01:33:49,439 --> 01:33:52,800
Speaker 5: I don't follow with the line that I get in

2019
01:33:52,840 --> 01:33:55,240
Speaker 5: the middle of the floor. And because I'm taller, man

2020
01:33:55,320 --> 01:33:55,840
Speaker 5: move out the way.

2021
01:33:55,920 --> 01:33:57,240
Speaker 3: I just I'm in my own world.

2022
01:33:57,320 --> 01:33:59,600
Speaker 1: I don't even know if it's the own world, is right.

2023
01:33:59,600 --> 01:34:02,320
Speaker 1: I don't even know if it's the same song I

2024
01:34:02,479 --> 01:34:03,240
Speaker 1: had different music.

2025
01:34:04,200 --> 01:34:08,560
Speaker 3: I mean, like, what beat was that? What beat is that?

2026
01:34:08,680 --> 01:34:09,000
Speaker 1: The down?

2027
01:34:09,479 --> 01:34:10,880
Speaker 3: The up that?

2028
01:34:14,960 --> 01:34:15,639
Speaker 2: Oh my god?

2029
01:34:15,840 --> 01:34:16,840
Speaker 3: So y'all just have fun.

2030
01:34:17,000 --> 01:34:19,320
Speaker 2: Y'all y'all married couple that say, we just think of

2031
01:34:19,439 --> 01:34:21,360
Speaker 2: ideas and just have fun a lot of And so

2032
01:34:21,560 --> 01:34:24,000
Speaker 2: you started out not being a content creator. Now you

2033
01:34:24,200 --> 01:34:27,120
Speaker 2: just fully embraced y'all just posted all kinds of stuff.

2034
01:34:27,560 --> 01:34:28,160
Speaker 2: Was that hard for you?

2035
01:34:29,080 --> 01:34:31,759
Speaker 3: Not really, because I find in the time you always

2036
01:34:31,760 --> 01:34:33,400
Speaker 3: had time because.

2037
01:34:33,160 --> 01:34:36,280
Speaker 6: My job was really, really busy. I'm actually changing jobs

2038
01:34:36,360 --> 01:34:38,800
Speaker 6: right now, so I had a lot of time on

2039
01:34:38,920 --> 01:34:39,280
Speaker 6: my hands.

2040
01:34:40,760 --> 01:34:44,160
Speaker 3: But and master program, Yeah, are in school.

2041
01:34:44,640 --> 01:34:47,360
Speaker 4: I'm almost what are you studying?

2042
01:34:47,600 --> 01:34:52,160
Speaker 1: It's the Master's in nursing with the focus is organizational leadership.

2043
01:34:52,240 --> 01:34:57,040
Speaker 1: So I'm an administrative side now, so I do management

2044
01:34:57,920 --> 01:35:02,519
Speaker 1: and director. But that's that was the hardest part for me,

2045
01:35:02,640 --> 01:35:04,280
Speaker 1: was finding time. But now I have this thing where

2046
01:35:04,320 --> 01:35:05,840
Speaker 1: a lot of people so where'd you get this?

2047
01:35:05,880 --> 01:35:07,599
Speaker 6: Where'd you get that? They're asking about my outfits?

2048
01:35:08,320 --> 01:35:10,719
Speaker 1: Well, one of the things I haven't really shared shared,

2049
01:35:10,800 --> 01:35:12,519
Speaker 1: but I tell people all the time, I don't spend

2050
01:35:12,520 --> 01:35:14,240
Speaker 1: a lot on my clothes, first of all, because we

2051
01:35:14,320 --> 01:35:16,240
Speaker 1: have to change clothes. You know, you can't wear the

2052
01:35:16,280 --> 01:35:20,280
Speaker 1: same thing half the time. I literally shop. It's she

2053
01:35:21,439 --> 01:35:24,040
Speaker 1: it's just knowing how to put them together. But I

2054
01:35:24,120 --> 01:35:25,920
Speaker 1: get so many people asking me where did this outfit

2055
01:35:25,960 --> 01:35:27,280
Speaker 1: come from? Where did this outfit come from?

2056
01:35:27,760 --> 01:35:28,840
Speaker 3: And so I do a thing.

2057
01:35:28,920 --> 01:35:31,400
Speaker 6: Now, get dressed with me, get ready with me, and so.

2058
01:35:31,600 --> 01:35:33,599
Speaker 3: She'll be like, I can't wear that no more.

2059
01:35:33,680 --> 01:35:35,479
Speaker 5: That video went viral. I don't want no way to

2060
01:35:35,479 --> 01:35:38,479
Speaker 5: see me in the same outfit. I'm like, opinion attend.

2061
01:35:39,479 --> 01:35:43,920
Speaker 5: I'm not going out buying, But designers and stores actually

2062
01:35:43,960 --> 01:35:46,599
Speaker 5: give me free clothes because I promote for them.

2063
01:35:46,680 --> 01:35:48,000
Speaker 3: But I will spend money on my shoes.

2064
01:35:48,520 --> 01:35:49,479
Speaker 6: Shoes is a different thing.

2065
01:35:49,760 --> 01:35:52,599
Speaker 1: Yes, clothes not so much, but my shoes. I don't

2066
01:35:52,600 --> 01:35:54,040
Speaker 1: want my feet to hurt, and I ain't trying to

2067
01:35:54,040 --> 01:35:55,920
Speaker 1: be somewhere. You know that women their feet hanging.

2068
01:35:55,800 --> 01:35:56,680
Speaker 3: Over the shoes.

2069
01:35:58,240 --> 01:36:03,200
Speaker 1: Drag, so matures old typically be a significantly more, and

2070
01:36:03,280 --> 01:36:09,120
Speaker 1: sometimes my purses. But clothes and styles change so quickly. Yeah,

2071
01:36:09,400 --> 01:36:11,479
Speaker 1: you'll be in one outfit last week and be like, yeah,

2072
01:36:11,520 --> 01:36:14,240
Speaker 1: I don't wear that no more. You like hundred dollars,

2073
01:36:14,280 --> 01:36:17,320
Speaker 1: So now my Offen Mike cost fifteen dollars. I know

2074
01:36:17,400 --> 01:36:19,040
Speaker 1: it's probably over in a sweatshop somewhere.

2075
01:36:23,520 --> 01:36:25,320
Speaker 4: No, but it's true. I mean, we do this podcast

2076
01:36:25,400 --> 01:36:27,519
Speaker 4: every week and so everyone's like, oh, we.

2077
01:36:27,560 --> 01:36:28,599
Speaker 3: Want to see what they're wearing.

2078
01:36:28,720 --> 01:36:31,080
Speaker 2: I said, oh God, they asked too much. Now they

2079
01:36:31,200 --> 01:36:33,599
Speaker 2: made that post it last week. I was like, lord, jeez,

2080
01:36:33,840 --> 01:36:35,639
Speaker 2: I said, now that's too much, as is like, that's

2081
01:36:35,680 --> 01:36:36,320
Speaker 2: too much pressure.

2082
01:36:36,479 --> 01:36:37,080
Speaker 7: Yeah, it is.

2083
01:36:37,720 --> 01:36:40,200
Speaker 1: It is a lot of pressure to always have on

2084
01:36:40,640 --> 01:36:43,360
Speaker 1: an outfit and this and that. Sometimes, you know, even

2085
01:36:43,400 --> 01:36:45,080
Speaker 1: going out now, I have people come up. I was

2086
01:36:45,120 --> 01:36:47,640
Speaker 1: looking I wasn't rough rough the other day, but I

2087
01:36:47,680 --> 01:36:50,240
Speaker 1: think I had been to the gym and my hair

2088
01:36:50,439 --> 01:36:51,000
Speaker 1: wasn't done, and.

2089
01:36:51,040 --> 01:36:52,920
Speaker 6: This girl's like, oh, can I take a picture with you?

2090
01:36:53,080 --> 01:36:55,000
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah right now.

2091
01:36:57,800 --> 01:37:02,160
Speaker 5: Last week, yeah, it is good. But we was in

2092
01:37:02,600 --> 01:37:05,200
Speaker 5: Kansas City, was at the gas station that was the

2093
01:37:05,240 --> 01:37:08,599
Speaker 5: little the little uh things that spins a little thing.

2094
01:37:08,840 --> 01:37:10,880
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I had one in my hand, and it's like, oh,

2095
01:37:10,960 --> 01:37:12,360
Speaker 3: I follow you all on social media? Can I get

2096
01:37:12,360 --> 01:37:15,360
Speaker 3: a puture? I'm like, you know, it's quick trip.

2097
01:37:16,640 --> 01:37:19,200
Speaker 1: And we had just started posting. This was in November

2098
01:37:19,200 --> 01:37:21,840
Speaker 1: because he came to my hometown for Thanksgiving, So we

2099
01:37:22,080 --> 01:37:25,280
Speaker 1: just started in October and in November somebody's like, I

2100
01:37:25,400 --> 01:37:26,120
Speaker 1: recognize y'all.

2101
01:37:26,160 --> 01:37:27,880
Speaker 3: I'm like in Kansas City?

2102
01:37:30,400 --> 01:37:30,439
Speaker 5: What?

2103
01:37:30,960 --> 01:37:31,200
Speaker 1: Yeah?

2104
01:37:32,720 --> 01:37:35,400
Speaker 4: And so it's funny because sometimes I wear his clothes,

2105
01:37:35,960 --> 01:37:36,879
Speaker 4: not because I don't.

2106
01:37:36,720 --> 01:37:38,719
Speaker 2: Have my own, but she just like putting my stuff

2107
01:37:38,760 --> 01:37:41,160
Speaker 2: on and going to the store with it, like like

2108
01:37:41,200 --> 01:37:43,360
Speaker 2: a sweatshirt, it's like a sweatshirt and sweatpants.

2109
01:37:43,560 --> 01:37:45,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I like to wear his clothes even though

2110
01:37:45,880 --> 01:37:48,719
Speaker 4: I have my own, and we will always see someone

2111
01:37:48,760 --> 01:37:50,280
Speaker 4: when I'm in his clothes and I'm.

2112
01:37:50,160 --> 01:37:54,040
Speaker 2: Like, put your stuff, And I said, no, why would

2113
01:37:54,040 --> 01:37:58,360
Speaker 2: I put my Why don't you buy you a bigger size?

2114
01:37:58,360 --> 01:38:00,360
Speaker 6: She's like, no, I like his feel better.

2115
01:38:01,120 --> 01:38:03,680
Speaker 4: So so yeah, so just know if y'all see me

2116
01:38:03,800 --> 01:38:06,560
Speaker 4: outside in his clo I'm not gonna ta no.

2117
01:38:06,680 --> 01:38:08,960
Speaker 1: But I do have these favorite sweatpants and I'm I

2118
01:38:09,080 --> 01:38:11,880
Speaker 1: probably wear them every time, and I'm when I'm dressed down,

2119
01:38:11,920 --> 01:38:15,120
Speaker 1: it's the sweatpants. I always wear this material. They are

2120
01:38:15,479 --> 01:38:19,200
Speaker 1: so comfortable and they're like camouflage. So I'm like, people

2121
01:38:19,280 --> 01:38:21,120
Speaker 1: play like, did she got them pants on? Again, I'm like,

2122
01:38:21,240 --> 01:38:24,480
Speaker 1: I have no idea. These are the most comfortable.

2123
01:38:27,720 --> 01:38:30,040
Speaker 5: Like I said, if she's cold, I mean she takes

2124
01:38:30,400 --> 01:38:32,479
Speaker 5: cold She takes BUCkies everywhere.

2125
01:38:32,840 --> 01:38:33,759
Speaker 3: She got a Bucky's blanket.

2126
01:38:34,520 --> 01:38:36,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I try to get them in the seasons except

2127
01:38:36,160 --> 01:38:39,519
Speaker 1: the Fourth of July. But so I have one that

2128
01:38:39,640 --> 01:38:41,840
Speaker 1: I take with me everywhere. There's a Christmas one, there's

2129
01:38:41,880 --> 01:38:43,960
Speaker 1: a Valentine's Day one.

2130
01:38:45,240 --> 01:38:47,519
Speaker 6: But I'm always cold when I walked in here, I

2131
01:38:47,560 --> 01:38:49,320
Speaker 6: was like, Oh, I feel good in here. It's not

2132
01:38:49,400 --> 01:38:50,000
Speaker 6: too cold.

2133
01:38:51,479 --> 01:38:53,479
Speaker 2: I need I need to get the RICO hookup where

2134
01:38:53,479 --> 01:38:55,360
Speaker 2: you're getting people to sponsor your clothes. I'm doing this

2135
01:38:55,439 --> 01:38:57,160
Speaker 2: podcast for six years, and if I could tell you

2136
01:38:57,160 --> 01:39:00,120
Speaker 2: how much money I done spent my clothes, I was like,

2137
01:39:00,320 --> 01:39:02,960
Speaker 2: Jesus so so yeah, that's what I'm believing God for

2138
01:39:03,320 --> 01:39:06,479
Speaker 2: is a sponsor to come yes and get me closed.

2139
01:39:06,720 --> 01:39:08,960
Speaker 2: I just never now in a minute, I say that. Now,

2140
01:39:09,000 --> 01:39:10,880
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get a bunch of dms with people saying

2141
01:39:10,920 --> 01:39:14,080
Speaker 2: that they want to send stuff whatever. But my main

2142
01:39:14,160 --> 01:39:16,240
Speaker 2: events I get stuff. I get main like people of

2143
01:39:16,720 --> 01:39:19,559
Speaker 2: give me custom tuxedos and suits like have for major

2144
01:39:19,600 --> 01:39:21,439
Speaker 2: events like that. Shut out to Don Morphy.

2145
01:39:21,840 --> 01:39:24,400
Speaker 4: Yes, I was just gonna say, as long as you

2146
01:39:24,520 --> 01:39:27,920
Speaker 4: know whoever gives us clothes, I'm still gonna wear yours.

2147
01:39:31,080 --> 01:39:33,200
Speaker 4: And I don't take pictures when I'm.

2148
01:39:33,120 --> 01:39:34,440
Speaker 3: In his clothes.

2149
01:39:35,840 --> 01:39:38,720
Speaker 2: As long. Ashat's be clear. Here's a part of the

2150
01:39:38,800 --> 01:39:40,840
Speaker 2: podcast where you grab that box. You write a key

2151
01:39:40,920 --> 01:39:44,160
Speaker 2: to love, So grab that box. There's gonna be a

2152
01:39:44,320 --> 01:39:46,880
Speaker 2: marker and just take the whole box. Grab the whole

2153
01:39:46,920 --> 01:39:48,880
Speaker 2: box and bring it to your lap because you can

2154
01:39:49,000 --> 01:39:51,360
Speaker 2: use the box to write on. I want y'all boat

2155
01:39:51,439 --> 01:39:53,880
Speaker 2: to write. Take a key each one of y'all and

2156
01:39:54,000 --> 01:39:56,439
Speaker 2: a marker and write a key to love that y'all

2157
01:39:56,479 --> 01:39:57,320
Speaker 2: want to leave.

2158
01:39:58,680 --> 01:40:00,920
Speaker 3: With us. Key to love.

2159
01:40:01,120 --> 01:40:03,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, whatever you want, what you believe is a key

2160
01:40:03,080 --> 01:40:03,400
Speaker 2: to love.

2161
01:40:03,680 --> 01:40:08,679
Speaker 4: Oh, so what did you think about today's episode?

2162
01:40:09,920 --> 01:40:13,400
Speaker 2: You know what, I I know a lot of people

2163
01:40:13,720 --> 01:40:16,040
Speaker 2: carry a certain level of bias when they say people

2164
01:40:16,040 --> 01:40:19,800
Speaker 2: have been married three times. They'd be like, y'all just

2165
01:40:19,880 --> 01:40:23,400
Speaker 2: can't get it right, or y'all not doing enough work

2166
01:40:23,640 --> 01:40:26,400
Speaker 2: before you take these vows. And these vows are to

2167
01:40:26,479 --> 01:40:32,400
Speaker 2: be taken far more seriously than these divorces that take place.

2168
01:40:33,960 --> 01:40:36,439
Speaker 2: It brings back where a lot of people I ain't

2169
01:40:36,439 --> 01:40:38,000
Speaker 2: gonna say a lot of people. I say a few

2170
01:40:38,080 --> 01:40:41,640
Speaker 2: people have commented on their future wife. He's saying he

2171
01:40:41,800 --> 01:40:44,960
Speaker 2: doesn't have a right to be married to Ashley because

2172
01:40:45,040 --> 01:40:48,200
Speaker 2: his first wife is still alive. You know, the Bible

2173
01:40:48,240 --> 01:40:51,479
Speaker 2: says you can't remarry if the other spouse is alive.

2174
01:40:51,640 --> 01:40:54,920
Speaker 2: And it's like, so y'all trying to encourage murder? Like

2175
01:40:54,960 --> 01:40:56,760
Speaker 2: what do y'all what a y'all saying? That's what even

2176
01:40:56,800 --> 01:40:58,800
Speaker 2: makes sense. It makes no sense.

2177
01:40:59,160 --> 01:41:02,400
Speaker 5: So it's like you get these overly religious people who

2178
01:41:02,520 --> 01:41:05,680
Speaker 5: get caught up in this ideology of it.

2179
01:41:05,960 --> 01:41:09,719
Speaker 2: But not to take away the value and the power

2180
01:41:09,800 --> 01:41:12,040
Speaker 2: of marriage. But I just believe that a lot of

2181
01:41:12,120 --> 01:41:14,600
Speaker 2: times people could see something like this and when they

2182
01:41:14,640 --> 01:41:17,000
Speaker 2: don't understand, and I believe they did a great job

2183
01:41:17,240 --> 01:41:21,160
Speaker 2: unpacking decisions that And this is why I'm glad she

2184
01:41:21,280 --> 01:41:24,200
Speaker 2: brought this up. The Bible says, what I have joined together,

2185
01:41:24,320 --> 01:41:26,800
Speaker 2: let no man put asunder. And if we're honest, God

2186
01:41:26,880 --> 01:41:29,800
Speaker 2: didn't bring these relationships together. A lot of these relationships

2187
01:41:29,880 --> 01:41:32,599
Speaker 2: God didn't do. We took it upon ourselves to get

2188
01:41:32,720 --> 01:41:35,960
Speaker 2: married and make these choices. And so when you see

2189
01:41:36,040 --> 01:41:39,519
Speaker 2: people have marriages that don't succeed, I'm glad you even

2190
01:41:39,560 --> 01:41:42,640
Speaker 2: asked him more about his happiness, because it was far

2191
01:41:42,800 --> 01:41:46,600
Speaker 2: greater than just his happiness. It was misalignment. It was

2192
01:41:46,720 --> 01:41:50,160
Speaker 2: people that wasn't even showing up emotionally on the level

2193
01:41:50,240 --> 01:41:53,600
Speaker 2: that they should. And what happens in those relationships it

2194
01:41:53,680 --> 01:41:57,040
Speaker 2: can grow more toxic where it's more unhealthy. Been together,

2195
01:41:57,360 --> 01:41:59,760
Speaker 2: the kids are seeing something unhealthy, And what do you

2196
01:41:59,800 --> 01:42:01,800
Speaker 2: think is best for the kids to grow up seeing

2197
01:42:01,840 --> 01:42:04,720
Speaker 2: a volatile situation, or for you to remove yourself out

2198
01:42:04,760 --> 01:42:07,840
Speaker 2: of a situation as Monica did and just say, hey,

2199
01:42:08,040 --> 01:42:09,960
Speaker 2: let me go ahead and get my healing, so I

2200
01:42:10,040 --> 01:42:13,599
Speaker 2: can find the best version of myself and in hopes

2201
01:42:13,960 --> 01:42:16,360
Speaker 2: God sees me worthy enough to take vows again with

2202
01:42:16,439 --> 01:42:20,800
Speaker 2: someone else. And so I believe that this conversation is

2203
01:42:20,920 --> 01:42:23,960
Speaker 2: for the mature saints to be able to not pass

2204
01:42:24,120 --> 01:42:27,479
Speaker 2: judgment and be able to just be reflective. And those

2205
01:42:27,600 --> 01:42:30,479
Speaker 2: that haven't been married before, then they can look at

2206
01:42:30,560 --> 01:42:33,639
Speaker 2: and go I need to take marriage even more serious,

2207
01:42:34,000 --> 01:42:36,799
Speaker 2: that I can't be so eager to take vows with somebody.

2208
01:42:37,320 --> 01:42:39,000
Speaker 2: And I need to make sure that I do the

2209
01:42:39,120 --> 01:42:41,559
Speaker 2: work ahead of time, make sure that I'm vetting properly,

2210
01:42:41,840 --> 01:42:43,840
Speaker 2: so that when I do take these vows, it is

2211
01:42:44,000 --> 01:42:44,960
Speaker 2: till death do we part.

2212
01:42:45,080 --> 01:42:46,920
Speaker 5: So I believe it's just a great learning lesson. What

2213
01:42:46,960 --> 01:42:49,840
Speaker 5: about you, I agree you ain't gonna just get.

2214
01:42:49,760 --> 01:42:52,559
Speaker 4: On Nope, I agree I think you when you sum

2215
01:42:52,640 --> 01:42:55,240
Speaker 4: it up, well, you summed it up well. I just

2216
01:42:55,360 --> 01:42:59,920
Speaker 4: think you know I've never been divorced, and I said

2217
01:43:00,120 --> 01:43:02,880
Speaker 4: never would get divorced. So I'm the I guess, the

2218
01:43:03,080 --> 01:43:06,840
Speaker 4: only one here that hasn't experienced it, but I did

2219
01:43:06,920 --> 01:43:09,519
Speaker 4: grow up in a household of parents that did get

2220
01:43:09,560 --> 01:43:12,960
Speaker 4: a divorce, and so I think that, you know, marriage

2221
01:43:13,000 --> 01:43:17,320
Speaker 4: is the greatest, the greatest thing that you can do

2222
01:43:17,479 --> 01:43:21,479
Speaker 4: because it's a covenant with God, and I really truly

2223
01:43:21,640 --> 01:43:25,880
Speaker 4: believe in that, like you know, growing together, sticking through it.

2224
01:43:26,360 --> 01:43:29,120
Speaker 4: I don't think every day is going to be happy.

2225
01:43:29,200 --> 01:43:31,240
Speaker 4: I don't think every week is going to be happy.

2226
01:43:31,960 --> 01:43:35,640
Speaker 4: But I think you you stick with it, and so

2227
01:43:36,120 --> 01:43:40,320
Speaker 4: I echo that. I guess that that's the only different perspective.

2228
01:43:40,360 --> 01:43:43,880
Speaker 4: But I love what you said just about what God

2229
01:43:44,160 --> 01:43:48,040
Speaker 4: brings together, and I think everyone has their own journey

2230
01:43:48,320 --> 01:43:53,400
Speaker 4: with that. If God truly ordains something, sometimes you know,

2231
01:43:53,720 --> 01:43:56,560
Speaker 4: free will gets the best of us in these situations.

2232
01:43:57,479 --> 01:43:59,840
Speaker 4: And so to be able to have that moment where

2233
01:43:59,880 --> 01:44:04,280
Speaker 4: we can say God truly ordained this, he brought this together,

2234
01:44:04,439 --> 01:44:06,240
Speaker 4: is really really special and powerful.

2235
01:44:07,000 --> 01:44:09,720
Speaker 2: That's good. What would y'all like to say about that?

2236
01:44:09,840 --> 01:44:12,040
Speaker 2: Have y'all heard the rhetoric where you hear people say

2237
01:44:13,040 --> 01:44:15,600
Speaker 2: what I shared, if your spouse is still alive, you

2238
01:44:15,680 --> 01:44:18,800
Speaker 2: only get you can only get a divorce based on infidelity.

2239
01:44:19,280 --> 01:44:26,879
Speaker 2: Now we've introduced where people have been acceptance, accepting of abuse,

2240
01:44:27,400 --> 01:44:32,759
Speaker 2: but physical abuse and domestic violence. What type of advice

2241
01:44:32,920 --> 01:44:33,639
Speaker 2: have y'all heard?

2242
01:44:33,760 --> 01:44:35,759
Speaker 5: Did people ever tell y'all y'all should just have stayed

2243
01:44:35,800 --> 01:44:39,920
Speaker 5: married to y'all's former spouses. No, I mean usually the

2244
01:44:39,960 --> 01:44:42,000
Speaker 5: people that's always got so much advice as a person

2245
01:44:42,000 --> 01:44:44,520
Speaker 5: that's not even married exactly exactly.

2246
01:44:45,000 --> 01:44:49,160
Speaker 1: So for me with my past relationship, it was domestic

2247
01:44:49,280 --> 01:44:52,519
Speaker 1: So I absolutely not. Nobody wanted to encourage that. Everybody

2248
01:44:52,640 --> 01:44:55,920
Speaker 1: was encouraging me to, even my own pastor. He didn't

2249
01:44:55,920 --> 01:45:01,679
Speaker 1: say it to me, but afterwards he shared how happy

2250
01:45:01,760 --> 01:45:04,560
Speaker 1: he was for I don't I didn't share what was

2251
01:45:04,640 --> 01:45:08,920
Speaker 1: going on. He married us, and so I never shared

2252
01:45:08,960 --> 01:45:13,160
Speaker 1: what was going on. But I think secretly he knew

2253
01:45:13,520 --> 01:45:18,400
Speaker 1: going into it that it wasn't proper, but he didn't

2254
01:45:18,520 --> 01:45:23,640
Speaker 1: really talk us out of it. And you know that

2255
01:45:23,880 --> 01:45:27,719
Speaker 1: my pastor, he's in Kansas City. I still call my pastor.

2256
01:45:28,240 --> 01:45:32,679
Speaker 1: He he takes a lot of ownership when he marries people.

2257
01:45:32,880 --> 01:45:36,519
Speaker 1: He feels responsible, and so I think, you know, he

2258
01:45:36,600 --> 01:45:40,560
Speaker 1: took it to heart, but you could tell he was

2259
01:45:40,640 --> 01:45:43,960
Speaker 1: happy for where I came, or you know, the journey

2260
01:45:44,000 --> 01:45:47,200
Speaker 1: I took and overcame a lot of people. You know,

2261
01:45:47,240 --> 01:45:48,639
Speaker 1: Like I said, I don't think he knew the extent

2262
01:45:48,760 --> 01:45:52,920
Speaker 1: of it, but he is happy for me. And so

2263
01:45:53,040 --> 01:45:55,240
Speaker 1: a lot of people are happy that I came out

2264
01:45:55,280 --> 01:45:57,360
Speaker 1: of that, and I speak about it. I share what

2265
01:45:57,520 --> 01:46:00,720
Speaker 1: I went through in some of my podcasts or in

2266
01:46:00,800 --> 01:46:03,839
Speaker 1: some of my videos. I've shared the domestic violence that occurred.

2267
01:46:04,360 --> 01:46:06,040
Speaker 1: And because I want to empower women. I want to

2268
01:46:06,040 --> 01:46:09,040
Speaker 1: empower women to let them know you can come out

2269
01:46:09,120 --> 01:46:11,840
Speaker 1: on top. Even if you're in that dark space right now,

2270
01:46:11,920 --> 01:46:12,320
Speaker 1: you can.

2271
01:46:12,320 --> 01:46:12,960
Speaker 3: Come out on top.

2272
01:46:13,200 --> 01:46:15,880
Speaker 1: But nobody had really told me that you just stick

2273
01:46:15,920 --> 01:46:19,960
Speaker 1: it out. I thought that because my own example, no

2274
01:46:20,080 --> 01:46:22,720
Speaker 1: matter how you argue, you stick it out. So I

2275
01:46:23,040 --> 01:46:26,360
Speaker 1: thought that and now, and it actually affected my relationship

2276
01:46:26,479 --> 01:46:31,240
Speaker 1: with my daughter. So to his point, you don't want

2277
01:46:31,280 --> 01:46:35,000
Speaker 1: your kids to see that, I removed. I shouldn't have

2278
01:46:35,080 --> 01:46:37,640
Speaker 1: stayed so long. That's the and I actually held on

2279
01:46:37,720 --> 01:46:40,920
Speaker 1: too that guilt. I felt responsible, but I had to

2280
01:46:41,000 --> 01:46:43,120
Speaker 1: get to a point where I realized I was a

2281
01:46:43,240 --> 01:46:46,439
Speaker 1: victim too. I was stuck in that and I had

2282
01:46:46,520 --> 01:46:52,120
Speaker 1: to heal and get through it. So no, my first marriage,

2283
01:46:52,479 --> 01:46:55,120
Speaker 1: nobody really says we knew we shouldn't have got married.

2284
01:46:55,479 --> 01:46:57,680
Speaker 1: So even to this day, we don't have Fuck, I'm

2285
01:46:57,680 --> 01:46:58,880
Speaker 1: not gonna get on the phone and be like, hey,

2286
01:46:58,960 --> 01:47:01,400
Speaker 1: what you doing. But we have respect for each other

2287
01:47:02,280 --> 01:47:05,000
Speaker 1: and so you know him, Yeah, my daughter and him

2288
01:47:05,040 --> 01:47:09,719
Speaker 1: have a really good relationship and so so yeah, nobody

2289
01:47:09,800 --> 01:47:12,439
Speaker 1: really shared that I shouldn't remarry or any of that,

2290
01:47:12,720 --> 01:47:13,479
Speaker 1: you know, anything like that.

2291
01:47:13,600 --> 01:47:15,560
Speaker 2: We're good. Did y'all sign y'all's name on the on

2292
01:47:15,680 --> 01:47:16,439
Speaker 2: the idea?

2293
01:47:16,560 --> 01:47:17,320
Speaker 6: I put more fit?

2294
01:47:17,640 --> 01:47:20,000
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and keep it, keep it out the box.

2295
01:47:20,160 --> 01:47:21,960
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have y'all read what y'all wrote, and y'all

2296
01:47:22,120 --> 01:47:23,040
Speaker 2: hang it up on the wall.

2297
01:47:23,320 --> 01:47:24,960
Speaker 3: Hold that all right?

2298
01:47:25,000 --> 01:47:25,679
Speaker 2: Read what you wrote.

2299
01:47:26,800 --> 01:47:29,719
Speaker 6: Live and love like it's your last day on earth.

2300
01:47:30,200 --> 01:47:32,400
Speaker 2: Live and love like it's your last day on earth.

2301
01:47:32,520 --> 01:47:34,960
Speaker 2: And what you write rico, I put a word, I

2302
01:47:35,040 --> 01:47:37,919
Speaker 2: put communication? Good, wil. Is communication important?

2303
01:47:38,040 --> 01:47:40,160
Speaker 5: Because I know it's important because a lot of times

2304
01:47:40,240 --> 01:47:44,280
Speaker 5: in most relationships, besides infidelity, it is communication.

2305
01:47:46,120 --> 01:47:50,360
Speaker 2: Well, listen, this was absolutely amazing to have this conversation.

2306
01:47:50,479 --> 01:47:53,640
Speaker 2: Thank y'all for y'all transparency and y'all's vulnerability. How can

2307
01:47:53,680 --> 01:47:56,040
Speaker 2: people connect with y'all? Put the microphone closer to your

2308
01:47:56,080 --> 01:47:56,960
Speaker 2: mouth all the.

2309
01:47:56,960 --> 01:48:01,880
Speaker 1: Way My Instagram is mo Fit. I can't even think

2310
01:48:01,960 --> 01:48:06,640
Speaker 1: myself Mothick Underscore Fitness. And my Instagram is simply or

2311
01:48:06,760 --> 01:48:08,719
Speaker 1: my Facebook is Monica Horton Davis.

2312
01:48:09,040 --> 01:48:13,839
Speaker 5: So you can find me on Instagram Official Rico Davis.

2313
01:48:14,320 --> 01:48:17,400
Speaker 5: You can find me on YouTube at just to Ask Rico,

2314
01:48:17,680 --> 01:48:20,960
Speaker 5: and you can find me on Facebook at Rico Davis.

2315
01:48:21,640 --> 01:48:24,320
Speaker 5: And also, can I mention something that I just recently dropped.

2316
01:48:25,520 --> 01:48:29,000
Speaker 5: I have my own fragrance and it's actually a unisex

2317
01:48:29,720 --> 01:48:31,639
Speaker 5: and it took me bout a year to make it right,

2318
01:48:31,920 --> 01:48:35,040
Speaker 5: and I wanted to do something that I hear everybody

2319
01:48:35,160 --> 01:48:38,160
Speaker 5: was complaining that they're not getting, so I put everything

2320
01:48:38,360 --> 01:48:41,519
Speaker 5: into it to give them what they wanted. And the

2321
01:48:42,080 --> 01:48:45,479
Speaker 5: fragrance is called Suave and right now and I have

2322
01:48:45,600 --> 01:48:48,080
Speaker 5: it on you know suave A It's r A D

2323
01:48:48,240 --> 01:48:51,960
Speaker 5: which is Rico Davis. It's rdsuave dot com and it's

2324
01:48:52,040 --> 01:48:52,639
Speaker 5: doing pretty good.

2325
01:48:52,680 --> 01:48:52,920
Speaker 3: Right now?

2326
01:48:53,120 --> 01:48:54,080
Speaker 4: Did you raise some for us?

2327
01:48:55,200 --> 01:48:55,400
Speaker 2: I have?

2328
01:48:56,200 --> 01:48:56,920
Speaker 3: I have it in a car.

2329
01:48:56,960 --> 01:48:59,120
Speaker 4: I do I do oh, because I was gonna smell

2330
01:48:59,160 --> 01:48:59,479
Speaker 4: it was.

2331
01:49:02,000 --> 01:49:05,640
Speaker 1: I have to give it to It really does smell good, Okay,

2332
01:49:05,720 --> 01:49:06,680
Speaker 1: So I'm excited about that.

2333
01:49:06,880 --> 01:49:09,360
Speaker 2: We're good. So they can follow you on social media.

2334
01:49:09,479 --> 01:49:12,240
Speaker 2: Connect with y'all. Y'all have these events going on, make

2335
01:49:12,240 --> 01:49:15,000
Speaker 2: sure y'all connect with them. Pull up, let them know

2336
01:49:15,120 --> 01:49:18,320
Speaker 2: that you saw my dear future wife again.

2337
01:49:18,479 --> 01:49:21,600
Speaker 5: Thank y'all so much for appreciate you speaking engagements and

2338
01:49:21,960 --> 01:49:25,360
Speaker 5: oh yes, yes, yes yes, and other things other things.

2339
01:49:26,280 --> 01:49:26,920
Speaker 3: Our podcast.

2340
01:49:27,520 --> 01:49:29,720
Speaker 5: You have a podcast, Tell me about your podcast. All

2341
01:49:29,840 --> 01:49:38,400
Speaker 5: podcast is called right or Wrong with Record and Roll. Okay,

2342
01:49:41,240 --> 01:49:42,400
Speaker 5: I about to say we rewind.

2343
01:49:44,520 --> 01:49:45,439
Speaker 3: It keeps me laughing.

2344
01:49:45,800 --> 01:49:46,599
Speaker 2: Okay, all right.

2345
01:49:47,360 --> 01:49:50,000
Speaker 5: We have a podcast and it's called right all Wrong

2346
01:49:50,200 --> 01:49:53,200
Speaker 5: with Rico and Mo and we have it on YouTube.

2347
01:49:53,240 --> 01:49:55,720
Speaker 5: We have it on pretty much all platforms, Facebook and

2348
01:49:56,560 --> 01:49:59,040
Speaker 5: Instagram as well, and we just talk about relationship.

2349
01:49:59,120 --> 01:50:02,240
Speaker 6: We talked about being something and go is this right

2350
01:50:02,439 --> 01:50:02,760
Speaker 6: or wrong?

2351
01:50:03,720 --> 01:50:04,479
Speaker 2: That's what we usually.

2352
01:50:04,720 --> 01:50:08,280
Speaker 5: You know, we talk about deal breakers, like, for instance,

2353
01:50:08,680 --> 01:50:10,280
Speaker 5: what is a deal breaker for you? And what's a

2354
01:50:10,320 --> 01:50:17,720
Speaker 5: deal breaker for you? What's a deal breaker for you?

2355
01:50:18,760 --> 01:50:20,799
Speaker 4: Well, a deal breaker for me is someone who doesn't

2356
01:50:20,880 --> 01:50:22,560
Speaker 4: love God more than they love me.

2357
01:50:22,800 --> 01:50:23,559
Speaker 3: Okay, that's good.

2358
01:50:23,800 --> 01:50:25,720
Speaker 2: Yeah. When I was when I was dating, a deal

2359
01:50:25,800 --> 01:50:30,639
Speaker 2: breaker for me would have been a woman that didn't well,

2360
01:50:31,640 --> 01:50:34,080
Speaker 2: I'm saying one of them, a woman that wouldn't accept

2361
01:50:34,160 --> 01:50:36,599
Speaker 2: my kids as their own.

2362
01:50:37,160 --> 01:50:41,240
Speaker 5: And yeah, like for me, a woman that smokes cigarettes,

2363
01:50:41,880 --> 01:50:44,280
Speaker 5: you know, ain't nothing worse than a bad breath.

2364
01:50:45,680 --> 01:50:47,280
Speaker 3: What's a quick deal break for you?

2365
01:50:49,120 --> 01:50:52,200
Speaker 1: I think I'm with Ashley, somebody that doesn't put God

2366
01:50:52,680 --> 01:50:54,080
Speaker 1: before me.

2367
01:50:54,439 --> 01:50:54,880
Speaker 3: I want you.

2368
01:50:55,120 --> 01:50:57,240
Speaker 1: I want God to be your first love. If I

2369
01:50:57,320 --> 01:51:00,519
Speaker 1: tell him all the time, I love my husband, but I.

2370
01:51:00,640 --> 01:51:01,439
Speaker 6: Love God more.

2371
01:51:02,000 --> 01:51:08,200
Speaker 1: And that allows me to love differently. When I got

2372
01:51:08,240 --> 01:51:11,800
Speaker 1: to that point, it's like, I feel like I used

2373
01:51:11,840 --> 01:51:14,240
Speaker 1: to love like unconditioning. Oh, this is the best person.

2374
01:51:14,560 --> 01:51:16,360
Speaker 1: When you put all that, that's not what God wants.

2375
01:51:16,880 --> 01:51:18,800
Speaker 1: And it's like once I was able to put him first,

2376
01:51:18,880 --> 01:51:20,640
Speaker 1: like and I tell him, if he could come to

2377
01:51:20,760 --> 01:51:24,519
Speaker 1: me tomorrow for whatever reason, say I'm I'm I just

2378
01:51:24,560 --> 01:51:25,559
Speaker 1: want to do something different.

2379
01:51:25,800 --> 01:51:30,200
Speaker 6: I love him enough and to say I want you

2380
01:51:30,320 --> 01:51:30,920
Speaker 6: to be happy.

2381
01:51:31,600 --> 01:51:34,320
Speaker 3: I don't want you to be here miserable, but I love.

2382
01:51:34,280 --> 01:51:36,960
Speaker 1: Him enough to say that to be I'm mature enough

2383
01:51:37,000 --> 01:51:41,840
Speaker 1: now to understand the importance of happiness and peace. Peace

2384
01:51:41,920 --> 01:51:45,559
Speaker 1: to me is more important than anything, and without God

2385
01:51:45,760 --> 01:51:49,559
Speaker 1: you're not gonna have peace. And so for me, those

2386
01:51:49,640 --> 01:51:51,920
Speaker 1: two things right there are so important in life. I

2387
01:51:52,040 --> 01:51:53,880
Speaker 1: want you to be at peace. I want everybody to

2388
01:51:53,920 --> 01:51:55,760
Speaker 1: be at That's my one thing. But that's why I'm

2389
01:51:55,760 --> 01:51:59,639
Speaker 1: about empowering people be at peace. We don't we don't

2390
01:51:59,680 --> 01:52:01,400
Speaker 1: know that the day nor the hour.

2391
01:52:02,400 --> 01:52:05,479
Speaker 5: I get my happiness seeing other people happy, that's good,

2392
01:52:05,920 --> 01:52:07,679
Speaker 5: you know. Just like the young men who cannot afford

2393
01:52:07,680 --> 01:52:08,160
Speaker 5: to go to prom.

2394
01:52:08,479 --> 01:52:09,280
Speaker 3: You know, that's what we do.

2395
01:52:09,400 --> 01:52:11,200
Speaker 5: We go up and we purchase everything that they need

2396
01:52:11,280 --> 01:52:13,200
Speaker 5: to go to prom. I've never been a prom, but

2397
01:52:13,200 --> 01:52:14,839
Speaker 5: I'm okay. Seeing somebody else smile.

2398
01:52:14,920 --> 01:52:18,519
Speaker 2: That's powerful. That's powerful. Well, as we conclude this episode, again,

2399
01:52:18,600 --> 01:52:22,599
Speaker 2: thank y'all so much. May the love you shared today

2400
01:52:22,840 --> 01:52:24,120
Speaker 2: outlived the season.

2401
01:52:23,880 --> 01:52:26,879
Speaker 4: You're in, may carry you through the days when words

2402
01:52:27,040 --> 01:52:27,799
Speaker 4: are few.

2403
01:52:27,880 --> 01:52:29,519
Speaker 6: And faith has to do the talking.

2404
01:52:29,680 --> 01:52:31,160
Speaker 2: Y'all give it up for the Davids.

2405
01:52:31,000 --> 01:52:32,840
Speaker 3: Jo, thank you, thank you.

2406
01:52:33,439 --> 01:52:38,599
Speaker 2: Thanks to having us Ladarian rusted suddenly into Child Protective

2407
01:52:38,640 --> 01:52:43,880
Speaker 2: Services in twenty fifteen, my nephew, black a boy the

2408
01:52:44,080 --> 01:52:47,679
Speaker 2: likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship slim to none

2409
01:52:48,520 --> 01:52:53,559
Speaker 2: Rmione sixteen years old, Black a boy with five years

2410
01:52:53,640 --> 01:52:56,120
Speaker 2: in the foster care system before I even knew his name,

2411
01:52:56,920 --> 01:53:00,560
Speaker 2: The likelihood have ever been adopted? Yeah? You guessed it

2412
01:53:01,280 --> 01:53:05,760
Speaker 2: slim to none. While Laderian and our MONI were trying

2413
01:53:05,800 --> 01:53:09,200
Speaker 2: to survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded

2414
01:53:09,240 --> 01:53:11,840
Speaker 2: false care system. I was living my own life, doing

2415
01:53:11,880 --> 01:53:15,080
Speaker 2: well professionally, having been a single father with a daughter

2416
01:53:15,160 --> 01:53:17,640
Speaker 2: who at that point was doing well in college. It

2417
01:53:17,760 --> 01:53:21,760
Speaker 2: was my time to live my life right. Wrong. I

2418
01:53:21,800 --> 01:53:27,720
Speaker 2: felt unsettled, tireless, agitated. There are just two many of

2419
01:53:27,840 --> 01:53:31,519
Speaker 2: our black children stuck in ambiguity and in the limbo

2420
01:53:31,680 --> 01:53:35,040
Speaker 2: of the Falter care system. In twenty seventeen, I legally

2421
01:53:35,080 --> 01:53:38,680
Speaker 2: adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast forward to twenty nineteen. I

2422
01:53:38,760 --> 01:53:40,920
Speaker 2: had no ties to this other young king, but I

2423
01:53:41,000 --> 01:53:44,000
Speaker 2: felt God instructed me to adopt them also on an babe.

2424
01:53:44,880 --> 01:53:47,920
Speaker 2: Starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right, Working

2425
01:53:47,960 --> 01:53:50,599
Speaker 2: with various foster care and adoption agencies to help bring

2426
01:53:50,680 --> 01:53:53,840
Speaker 2: awareness to the countless young Black kings and the Falster

2427
01:53:53,960 --> 01:53:56,600
Speaker 2: care system should have decreased my agitation.

2428
01:53:56,840 --> 01:53:56,960
Speaker 3: Right.

2429
01:53:57,760 --> 01:54:01,000
Speaker 2: Joining the board of directors of Advantage Adoption, an organization

2430
01:54:01,120 --> 01:54:04,599
Speaker 2: that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in FALSI care,

2431
01:54:04,720 --> 01:54:07,320
Speaker 2: should have led to some type of resolve. Right. No,

2432
01:54:08,720 --> 01:54:11,599
Speaker 2: not at all. None of it felt like I had

2433
01:54:11,680 --> 01:54:16,240
Speaker 2: done enough. I now realized that every one of those

2434
01:54:16,360 --> 01:54:20,160
Speaker 2: experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

2435
01:54:21,120 --> 01:54:25,160
Speaker 2: Kingdom Royal. Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of

2436
01:54:25,200 --> 01:54:28,599
Speaker 2: the art home for foster boys. Our first location will

2437
01:54:28,640 --> 01:54:31,320
Speaker 2: be in the Dallas Fort Work Metroplex. We will utilize

2438
01:54:31,400 --> 01:54:35,280
Speaker 2: the whole person approach that instills identity, empowers them to

2439
01:54:35,360 --> 01:54:39,360
Speaker 2: advocate for themselves, and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and

2440
01:54:39,520 --> 01:54:44,760
Speaker 2: limitless options that they thought were impossible. Though, the young

2441
01:54:44,840 --> 01:54:47,000
Speaker 2: Kings will attend the local public schools that are in

2442
01:54:47,320 --> 01:54:51,360
Speaker 2: proximity to Kingdom Royal. Our at home curriculum will broaden

2443
01:54:51,400 --> 01:54:55,560
Speaker 2: their worldview through participating in the arts, attending various cultural events,

2444
01:54:55,840 --> 01:54:59,960
Speaker 2: learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events

2445
01:55:00,320 --> 01:55:05,160
Speaker 2: and even relevant historical contexts, introducing them to gardening and landscaping,

2446
01:55:05,240 --> 01:55:08,520
Speaker 2: and even caring for our animals on our form and

2447
01:55:08,640 --> 01:55:13,000
Speaker 2: on site stables. We just launched our startup capital campaign

2448
01:55:13,240 --> 01:55:15,400
Speaker 2: with the goal of raising two point eight million dollars.

2449
01:55:15,440 --> 01:55:16,880
Speaker 2: Now why two point eight million dollars?

2450
01:55:17,720 --> 01:55:17,880
Speaker 3: Well?

2451
01:55:17,920 --> 01:55:20,280
Speaker 2: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

2452
01:55:20,320 --> 01:55:24,240
Speaker 2: I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

2453
01:55:24,480 --> 01:55:26,760
Speaker 2: One of the most notable successes was that one of

2454
01:55:26,800 --> 01:55:31,920
Speaker 2: the videos went viral, garnering twenty eight million views. However,

2455
01:55:32,400 --> 01:55:34,600
Speaker 2: one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise

2456
01:55:34,640 --> 01:55:37,960
Speaker 2: a single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable

2457
01:55:38,040 --> 01:55:42,080
Speaker 2: plan for the homeless community. So throughout the years, with

2458
01:55:42,360 --> 01:55:45,880
Speaker 2: much remorse, I reflect that I'm not maximizing that moment.

2459
01:55:45,960 --> 01:55:48,880
Speaker 2: I knew if at that time just ten percent of

2460
01:55:48,920 --> 01:55:51,800
Speaker 2: the viewers donated one dollar, we would have raised at

2461
01:55:51,880 --> 01:55:55,360
Speaker 2: least two point eight million dollars that could have really

2462
01:55:55,480 --> 01:55:58,440
Speaker 2: established long term support for the homeless community, or at

2463
01:55:58,560 --> 01:56:01,440
Speaker 2: least started a long term initiative.

2464
01:56:00,960 --> 01:56:01,280
Speaker 3: To do so.

2465
01:56:02,360 --> 01:56:07,000
Speaker 2: This is my do over, This is our new beginning. Together,

2466
01:56:07,360 --> 01:56:10,560
Speaker 2: we can attack this at the root by specifically helping

2467
01:56:10,760 --> 01:56:15,600
Speaker 2: our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented in

2468
01:56:15,680 --> 01:56:19,440
Speaker 2: the American fossil care system. I'm a Tarisarwickfield. I've been

2469
01:56:19,720 --> 01:56:22,800
Speaker 2: nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work with the

2470
01:56:22,880 --> 01:56:27,320
Speaker 2: homeless as well as my personal adoption journey. Despite those accolades,

2471
01:56:27,960 --> 01:56:32,240
Speaker 2: the greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure

2472
01:56:32,480 --> 01:56:37,560
Speaker 2: for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot com for more details,

2473
01:56:38,160 --> 01:56:48,560
Speaker 2: Crown a king and make a donation today. I hope

2474
01:56:48,600 --> 01:56:51,360
Speaker 2: you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future WIFEI podcast.

2475
01:56:51,480 --> 01:56:57,000
Speaker 2: Remember belt live intentionally and transparently and don't stop loving.

2476
01:56:57,480 --> 01:56:59,680
Speaker 2: Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future Wife and

2477
01:56:59,680 --> 01:57:03,640
Speaker 2: You two channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts, Little Podcasts, Spotify,

2478
01:57:03,640 --> 01:57:06,959
Speaker 2: and Stitcher. Be welcome your support. Simply share our podcasts

2479
01:57:07,000 --> 01:57:07,960
Speaker 2: with your friends and family.