1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,960 Speaker 1: And I've never seen a couple go get their divorce 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: driving in the same cars. 3 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 2: So how's y'all's co parenting relationship. 4 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,719 Speaker 3: It's been good. We are in the same house still, 5 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:12,800 Speaker 3: What made. 6 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 2: You decide to continue cohabitating together? 7 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 3: They have two daughters. We didn't want to just rip 8 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,279 Speaker 3: them out of their normalcy. Another thing was I never 9 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 3: had to pay bills, so I was shook. I was like, 10 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 3: oh no, I don't want to pay no bills? 11 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:26,639 Speaker 2: A bill? 12 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 3: What is that? 13 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 1: The ex husband should have said you should have thought 14 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,639 Speaker 1: about that when you was gonna divorce me. 15 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:33,239 Speaker 3: I was always a kept woman, even in my single life, and. 16 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 2: They were buying you stuff like we put us in perspective. 17 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,880 Speaker 3: I wouldn't say anything crazy like, you know, pay some bills, 18 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,480 Speaker 3: carnal home bill. 19 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: These guys would just be what they say, tricking off 20 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 1: money with you. 21 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:46,599 Speaker 2: I'm making it sound like what it is. 22 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: Love to Dear Fature wifey podcast my homie Christina Smith. 23 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:50,440 Speaker 2: How you doing, Queen? 24 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,880 Speaker 3: Hey, I'm good. How are you? I don't really feel 25 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 3: like I'm restarting my life yet. I'm still in the 26 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 3: marital home. I'm still seeing the ex every day. There's 27 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 3: so much that we can't do under the same roof. 28 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 3: Like a man can't come pick me up and. 29 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 2: Take me on a date, can a woman come pick 30 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 2: him up? 31 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: My ex wife could never have control, no shape form 32 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,039 Speaker 1: of fashion about how I date, who I did, come 33 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: on my house or whatever. 34 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,040 Speaker 2: It's not even a part of conversation. 35 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: Is there a deadline in sight to say by twenty 36 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: twenty six I'm moving out? 37 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 3: So I did come up with the exit plan. I 38 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 3: should have been gone by He wants to stay and 39 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 3: he wants me and the girls to find somewhere. 40 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 2: So why he wants the house? Most men don't typically 41 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 2: want the house. 42 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 3: I don't know the man wants to soft life these days? 43 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,039 Speaker 2: How many years were you married for? 44 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 3: Fourteen years? 45 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 2: Fourteen years? 46 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:37,199 Speaker 3: Yeah? 47 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 2: Do you desire marriage? 48 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,959 Speaker 3: Oh my god? Yes, I am a lover girl. I 49 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 3: am a wife. All the women that I grew up 50 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 3: around were married, So that's all I saw. I have 51 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 3: a desire to serve my husband. 52 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: You've dated in the past, you've been married for fourteen years. 53 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: Are you looking for a man that will continue on 54 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: with the soft. 55 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 2: Life that you've been provided? 56 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: The Dear Future Wife He podcast has global impact from Texas. 57 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 3: I have been on this journey of healing and self discovery, 58 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,799 Speaker 3: and this podcast has been a vital part of my process. 59 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 3: God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom, 60 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,919 Speaker 3: founding authentic spirituality. 61 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 2: California. 62 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 3: I learned so much as a single man through your 63 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 3: podcast and continue to learn so much as now a 64 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 3: married man Nigeria. This is just therapy for me. You know, 65 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 3: I've been healed, I've been strengthening and my convictions on 66 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,240 Speaker 3: the STI have to do single hoopbita. 67 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:39,080 Speaker 4: Amsterdam way that you've shown us how it is possible 68 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 4: for a. 69 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:44,520 Speaker 1: Man to be as intentional as you are New Jersey. 70 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 3: I appreciate your vulnerability. 71 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: I appreciate just being able to see that there is 72 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: life after divorce to New York. 73 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 3: I am a single woman, so these episodes really give 74 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 3: me hope and courage that God does have a husband. 75 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,639 Speaker 2: For me, discover, uncover and cover love. 76 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 1: I'm LATERO Sar Whitfield and this is season ten of 77 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: the Dear Future Wifie Podcasts. Welcome to Dear Future Wifie podcast. 78 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 1: I'm your host LATERO Sar Whiitfield. 79 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 2: Listen. 80 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,359 Speaker 1: Are you still shacking up with us? If you're still 81 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,560 Speaker 1: shacking up with us, Can we get a commitment. Hit 82 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaker 1: that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure you telling your 83 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,560 Speaker 1: notification bell so you'll be notified about upcoming episodes. 84 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 2: Right over there to Patreon. 85 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,359 Speaker 1: Make sure you're following us on Patreon so you can 86 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:30,639 Speaker 1: see all the bts from the wedding, my whole journey 87 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: down the aisle, and all that. I'm giving you exclusive 88 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: footage about all of that. 89 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 2: Listen man. 90 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 1: Next month, the book Student of Love will be dropping. 91 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 1: I want you to make sure that you get this book. 92 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: I've been hearing so many testimonies about the impact of 93 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: the Dear Future Wifie podcast. Well, this book has the 94 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 1: heart of the episodes. I've taken the stories from the 95 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: guests I've had on my podcast, and then I share 96 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 1: with the audience nuggets that I've learned from those episodes, 97 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 1: as well as my personal journey to finding myself so 98 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: that I could find the one. So make sure you 99 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:17,159 Speaker 1: take a look at this promo right now. I was married, cheated, 100 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 1: flown out of marriage. These eyes have seen the pain 101 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 1: of failure but also the possibility of redemption. These ears 102 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:31,279 Speaker 1: have heard the lies you'll never change, but they've also 103 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:36,520 Speaker 1: caught the whisper of truth, but tears, you can learn 104 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 1: love on the level you've never known. This finger once 105 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 1: carried a val I wasn't ready to honor. Today is empty, 106 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: but it's unashamed. It's waiting on a covenant I'll protect 107 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: with wisdom. Will you married. 108 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 2: I'm no expert. I'm just a fellow student. 109 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: I've sat in Love's classroom, even spent time at the ten. 110 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 2: But now I live with intention. 111 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,679 Speaker 1: That's why I wrote Student of Love, because learning love 112 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 1: never ends. Sit next to me and cheat off of 113 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: my paper. Cheat Tony, show you a better word. Let's 114 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 1: just cut to the chase. Pre order this book and 115 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 1: start the journey on becoming a true student of Love. 116 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 2: Class. 117 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 1: It's now in session, so go to studentolove dot com 118 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,719 Speaker 1: pre order your book. They will make great stocking stuff first, 119 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 1: So even if you get a certificate that you make 120 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,359 Speaker 1: and say, hey, I bought you this book for Student 121 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,479 Speaker 1: of Love. So in twenty twenty six, we can all 122 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: do love better. Well, I'm so excited about this guest. 123 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: I've been talking to this queen since the beginning of 124 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 1: this year. I saw this video that we'll talk about 125 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,040 Speaker 1: that made me reach out to her and say, I 126 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 1: would love to have you on a Dear PtIV podcast. 127 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,000 Speaker 1: I love to comment under the video and said this 128 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 1: is what I like to see. So without further do, 129 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 1: welcome to Dear Future Wifey podcast, My homie Christina Smith. 130 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 2: How you doing, Queen? 131 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 3: I'm good. How are you? 132 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 2: How you feel? 133 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 3: I feel? I feel good? 134 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 2: Are you nervous? 135 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 3: I don't know a little bit. 136 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,800 Speaker 1: So have you been on podcasts talking about your love 137 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 1: life and your journey? 138 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,719 Speaker 3: So it's the first time, well I've been on a 139 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,119 Speaker 3: reality show talking about I'm. 140 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 1: Talking about you sitting down where it's not any editing 141 00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 1: that that people can come and change your story. 142 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 2: But hearing this straight from the horse's mouth. 143 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:35,720 Speaker 3: I haven't. That does make me a little nervous. 144 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 2: What should make you feel good? 145 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 1: Because you know I'm not going to be slatious and 146 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 1: try create a story that you didn't share on your own. 147 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 3: So you did dress that in safe hands? 148 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,719 Speaker 1: In safe hands absolutely? So, Christina, how do we come 149 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: to know each other? 150 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,719 Speaker 3: You reached out to me after you saw a viral video? 151 00:06:54,000 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 3: What was that video? So I'm divorced and on the 152 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 3: way back from the divorce court. My not my v 153 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 3: X I don't take ownership. The ex and I were 154 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 3: coming back from the courthouse together, riding in the same car, 155 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 3: and he said, oh, like, I found our new song. 156 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 3: And I'm like, okay, what is that? He plays Let 157 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 3: It Burn from Usher, and so I'm like, oh, like, yes, 158 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 3: here trying to like make me feel a way. So 159 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 3: instead of me getting like in my feelings about it, 160 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 3: I was like singing a song. I was into it, 161 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 3: like yes, let It Burn. And he was over there 162 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 3: looking I didn't know this but until I saw the 163 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 3: video play back, but he was over there looking like 164 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 3: a sad puppy, like he wasn't the one who just 165 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 3: suggested this song. So I did post the content and 166 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 3: it went viral, almost three million views and ninety something thousand, 167 00:07:59,040 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 3: like thousand likes. 168 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, And when I saw it, I was like, see, 169 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 2: this is what I like to see. Not that. 170 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 1: I want people to get divorced, but I love that 171 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 1: if people can come together and have peace while going 172 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 1: through divorce. And I've never seen a couple go get 173 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: their divorce driving in the same car. 174 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 2: So y'all went together. 175 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, because we had already gotten our date pushback 176 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 3: a month because of some paperwork that was not handled correctly, 177 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,200 Speaker 3: and I said, oh, no, get in this car. We 178 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:34,120 Speaker 3: we're gonna go handle this paperwork together. Like yeah, So 179 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 3: we jumped in the car. We were cool. We had 180 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 3: one of our kids with us, my smallest, my youngest daughar, Yeah, 181 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 3: she was with us. We yeah, we went to court. 182 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 3: It was closed, so we had lunch together. 183 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. 184 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 3: We walked over to the like the food court. 185 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:48,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. 186 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,079 Speaker 3: Yeah, we had lunch and then we came back. We 187 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 3: was all smiles and laughs and we were dancing. I 188 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,080 Speaker 3: have more footage of us, like dancing in the room, 189 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 3: like while we started the paper like happy. 190 00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not dancing. 191 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, he was dancing. I was laughing at him. 192 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 2: So y'all are like real cool. 193 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: It wasn't something that was real heavy while y'all were 194 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: getting a divorce. It was like, this is what we 195 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: believe is best for both parties. 196 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:11,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 197 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 3: I think after a while we just came to that 198 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 3: place because it had been we had had all the 199 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 3: tumultuous times. So I feel like by the time like 200 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 3: things were about to finalize, we both were kind of 201 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,600 Speaker 3: ready to start something new, start our life over, and 202 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 3: we were just like, let's just be cool. And you know, 203 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 3: support each other through it. 204 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 1: So how's y'all's coparing and relationship been Since. 205 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 3: It's been it's been good. I think we had to 206 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:45,599 Speaker 3: find our sweet spot. We are in the same house still. 207 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 2: Y'all still together. 208 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,720 Speaker 1: No we're not say no, I'm talking about still living together, 209 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 1: not together, but y'all still living at trying to run 210 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: interference on whatever y'all got going on. He may got 211 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: some woman he dating, and we're gonna talk about that. 212 00:09:58,679 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 1: So this is what I reached out to you for. 213 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,400 Speaker 1: I wanted both of y'all to come on the podcast, 214 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,840 Speaker 1: and I said, we did a zoom you and I 215 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: did a zoom earlier this year, and I said, man, 216 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: this would be so great. I've always wanted couples to 217 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 1: come on the podcast that have gone through divorce so 218 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: we can talk about, you know, what led to it 219 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:18,680 Speaker 1: and how to have healthy co parent and relationships. And 220 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:20,040 Speaker 1: he was like, he ain't about to come on. 221 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 3: Wait no, wait, this is what happened. 222 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 2: Go aheare what happened? 223 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 3: We dms about it because you did to me a message, 224 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 3: I mean a comment, and you were you did say 225 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 3: in the message that you would the DM that you 226 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,440 Speaker 3: wanted us to both come on. And I said to you, 227 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 3: we're not currently doing interviews together, but if you would 228 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 3: like to have me by myself, I would love to 229 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 3: be there. And you were like, I don't know. You 230 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,680 Speaker 3: didn't say that, but I got the vibe like, oh, 231 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 3: I'm cheer about yourself. I said, oh, I got it. 232 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,080 Speaker 3: I was like, okay, dude, they you came back, you 233 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 3: clean it up. He was like, well, let's jump on 234 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 3: a zoom so I can kind of like do a 235 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 3: pre interview. I was like, oh, he think I'm lame alone. 236 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,439 Speaker 3: So he did that. You were like gonna be like 237 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 3: thirty minutes, but we were on that zoom for like 238 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 3: an hour and twenty. 239 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 1: I was like, yo, because I wanted that. I really 240 00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 1: want the conversation. 241 00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 2: That's wunny. 242 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,200 Speaker 1: You said you saw what I was because I really 243 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 1: wanted that conversation with you and the ex and so 244 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,920 Speaker 1: I wanted that and I was like, this would be 245 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,679 Speaker 1: so cool to see and then you're like you and 246 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 1: I was like, dang, so what would be the angle? 247 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: I didn't want to be something that because I know 248 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,680 Speaker 1: what was gonna be. I didn't want to be something 249 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 1: that drums up negativity. Because you can bring one party 250 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 1: on and another person like, why didn't get a chance 251 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,080 Speaker 1: to tell my story and then let a clip go 252 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 1: viral that the other party didn't like, And now where 253 00:11:57,559 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 1: there is peace in the house, now it's called now 254 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 1: dissension now that I'm brought you on the podcast, and 255 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: it's caused dissension between both of y'all, and I didn't 256 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 1: want to interrupt what was perceived as a great co 257 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: parenting relationship. Yeah, so I was like, dang it, man, 258 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:14,120 Speaker 1: this would be so cool to have both of them. 259 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 1: They can talk about their journey of what caused the 260 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,720 Speaker 1: divorce and why they feel like it's best to be divorced, 261 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 1: and you know, let it be what it's gonna be. 262 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:27,679 Speaker 1: But he said, you think I was, in the back 263 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: of my mind said she's gonna be laying by herself. 264 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 3: I mean, because you were like, wow, I was really 265 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,760 Speaker 3: interested in the both of y'all, and I was like, well, 266 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:38,400 Speaker 3: excuse me, but. 267 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 2: Now you was cool. 268 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 1: But also what I liked is that when we got 269 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,760 Speaker 1: in the zoom, I found out how transparent you were, 270 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,200 Speaker 1: and then I also found out how much of a 271 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 1: believer and as a Christian woman you were. 272 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 2: I didn't know that. You know, I didn't know that 273 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:50,600 Speaker 2: at all because I'm not. 274 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 3: Familiar with the show. 275 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 2: I just didn't know. I didn't know. I couldn't assume that. 276 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,920 Speaker 1: I just I just knew that when I'm talking to 277 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: you and the heart that you had in conversations like oh, 278 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,080 Speaker 1: it's a chrystial woman. So I said, okay, now we 279 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,680 Speaker 1: can we can, we can get that a platform. 280 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 3: Thank you for seeing me. Thank you you gave me 281 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 3: a shot. Now I'm on a yellow cout share the. 282 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: Yellow cots to tell your story. And so when you 283 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 1: look at that, how has it been living. 284 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 2: With the X? 285 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 3: Thank you for saying the X because you're you'ren trained me. 286 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:27,960 Speaker 3: Well you got you caught the dress. Yeah, well it's 287 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 3: not really too much different than how we were married. 288 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 2: We need to be a whole lot different. 289 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:40,120 Speaker 3: Whoa you know sad to say? It's not so we 290 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,080 Speaker 3: were separated while together. 291 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 2: Okay, you're talking to that part. 292 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, what's your thoughts? 293 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:47,959 Speaker 1: Well you can't cause you can't just say stuff. It 294 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 1: ain't too much different when we were married. No, I'm 295 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 1: just saying, I'm just trying to. 296 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 3: Clean it up. 297 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:53,200 Speaker 2: I'm trying to make. 298 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 3: Sure, we've not done it, not have been intimate since 299 00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 3: I told him I wanted a divorce. 300 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 2: And how long was that ago? Was that too? 301 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,360 Speaker 3: That was June twenty twenty four. 302 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:06,720 Speaker 1: So yeah, so about a year and a half ago. 303 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:08,760 Speaker 1: And a year and a half ago you said I 304 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 1: want a divorce. What made you decide to continue or 305 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 1: he decided? How it works for y'all to still be 306 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:17,240 Speaker 1: cohabitating together. 307 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 3: Well, we were really concerned about the children because we 308 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 3: have two daughters, beautiful kids by the way, and Bailey seven. Yes, 309 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:37,480 Speaker 3: we didn't want to just rip them out of their normalcy, 310 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 3: you know. So we figure if we stay here in 311 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 3: the same house and kind of like slowly feed this 312 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 3: situation to them, it would be easier for them to 313 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 3: tolerate and to you know, kind of digest. Another thing 314 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 3: was I was shook to be on my own, like financially, 315 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,800 Speaker 3: because I was I was just to stay at home. 316 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 3: I don't want to say jest, but I would stay 317 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 3: at home mom. And you know, I did get money 318 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 3: from like doing brand collaborations and different things and you know, business, 319 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,480 Speaker 3: but that was always my money, Like I never had 320 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 3: to pay bills, and so I was shook. I was like, 321 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 3: oh no, I want to pay no bills? 322 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 2: A bill? 323 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 3: What is that? 324 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:26,400 Speaker 1: And your husband should the ex husband should have said, 325 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 1: you should have thought about that when you was going 326 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: to divorce me, that you now you're gonna be on 327 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 1: your own. 328 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 3: I did think about it, you know what. Honestly we 329 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 3: probably could have got a divorced a long time ago. 330 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 3: But that was one of my biggest fears, was trying 331 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 3: to navigate life by yourself and financially, because I was like, 332 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 3: I'm not I don't know how to do this by myself. 333 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 3: Like I had never paid bills. 334 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 2: How that got married. 335 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 3: I was always a kept woman, even in my single life. 336 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:06,160 Speaker 3: So she gave me my NA and me, you better 337 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,000 Speaker 3: hit that right. 338 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 5: Now. 339 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 3: I will say this, I did have. I did stand 340 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 3: alone once, Okay, but I did you know eventually somebody 341 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 3: was assisting me with that. You know what I'm saying. 342 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 3: It didn't last. 343 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. 344 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 3: So you had a sponsor, I had a sponsor. 345 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 2: You had a brand deal before brand? 346 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 5: Yeah? 347 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 3: I did, I really did. And so I was shook 348 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 3: because not that I know that I'm capable, but navigating 349 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 3: it as a single mom. I this is something I've 350 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,080 Speaker 3: never hearnd that's like uncharted territory. I've never been a mom, 351 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 3: I've never been a single mom. So I'm like, how 352 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,360 Speaker 3: am I going to be up to, Like how I'm 353 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 3: going to do this and still give my children the 354 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 3: life that they're used to. So I was shook. I 355 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 3: was like, I'm not going nowhere. I'm just gonna have 356 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,800 Speaker 3: to fight this out. We just gonna have to stay together. 357 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 3: So that's why didn't leave for a long time. 358 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,400 Speaker 1: And so you got a divorce and y'all staying together 359 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 1: in the same household. 360 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 2: You don't want. 361 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:12,959 Speaker 1: To shake up the kids' lifestyle too much, but eventually 362 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 1: it's gonna. 363 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 2: Have to happen. 364 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, So after a while, I want to say this 365 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:22,880 Speaker 3: past summer twenty twenty five, I think it just hit 366 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:27,760 Speaker 3: me one day that I can't really I don't really 367 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,520 Speaker 3: feel like I'm restarting my life yet because I'm still 368 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,800 Speaker 3: I'm still in the marital home. I'm still seeing the 369 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,399 Speaker 3: ex every day. We're still you know what I'm saying, 370 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 3: Like there's so much that we can't do or we 371 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,199 Speaker 3: choose not to do under the same roof. Like a 372 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 3: man can't come pick me up and take me on 373 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 3: a day I'm not dating anyway, but if that was 374 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,280 Speaker 3: something that I wanted to do, you know what I'm saying. 375 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:52,160 Speaker 2: So, how would you feel so kind of a woman 376 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 2: come pick him up? 377 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,320 Speaker 3: I don't know, Like I just feel like, I. 378 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,920 Speaker 2: Mean, what was the rules did y'all? Y'all can talk 379 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:04,320 Speaker 2: about that. 380 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,200 Speaker 1: You said a man can't come get you, but did 381 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,520 Speaker 1: you discuss can a woman come? 382 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,760 Speaker 3: I would so for me. I wouldn't want it to 383 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,080 Speaker 3: happen for like a man picking me up, because I 384 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:19,880 Speaker 3: think that I think it's a healthy boundary, Like we 385 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 3: lived there together. He pays all the bills. I think, 386 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:26,199 Speaker 3: you know, out of respect, I wouldn't do that. I 387 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 3: think if somebody picked him up, I don't know if 388 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,600 Speaker 3: I would care. 389 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,359 Speaker 2: I don't know why not. 390 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:35,520 Speaker 3: I don't know. I just don't girl, take him? 391 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:39,679 Speaker 2: How do you feel if you came downstairs? Can't come? 392 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:40,120 Speaker 5: Please? 393 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,280 Speaker 3: You can't come in? No, but she can pick him up? 394 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 3: That's fine. 395 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 2: Can they sit in the backyard together? 396 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,439 Speaker 3: I don't know. If I met her or she was 397 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 3: cool and I thought she would be like great to 398 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:53,359 Speaker 3: be around my girl? 399 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, so so she can be outside, she can't come inside. 400 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,680 Speaker 3: No, that's too much. I don't know. 401 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,880 Speaker 2: No what it is. I'm just talking about. 402 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 1: Once we put language to it, you see how complex 403 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 1: it is in y'all divorce, Because that wouldn't be a conversation. 404 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 1: My ex wife could never have control, no shape, form 405 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 1: or fashion about how I date, who I did, come 406 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:19,280 Speaker 1: on my house or whatever. 407 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:20,520 Speaker 2: It's not even a part of conversation. 408 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,639 Speaker 1: They can't even say, well, you can't be introducing somebody 409 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:24,120 Speaker 1: to my kid. 410 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 2: Listen. 411 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 1: You have no power, no authority, no nothing, but y'all 412 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,760 Speaker 1: live together. That of course, those conversations become a little 413 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:32,720 Speaker 1: I think if it. 414 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,560 Speaker 3: Wasn't a random like, if it wasn't just some random 415 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,919 Speaker 3: dates picking him up or trying to come in, if 416 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:41,960 Speaker 3: he has established a relationship with someone and that my 417 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 3: girls are around them, I've met her and you know, 418 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 3: we kind of we vibe and we're cool. I probably 419 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 3: wouldn't mind, honestly. 420 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: But how but how long would that actually take for 421 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,120 Speaker 1: you to actually be cool? 422 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,120 Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. It's like, I don't know, That's 423 00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 2: what I'm saying. You have to be living. 424 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,200 Speaker 1: That means that let me ask you, this, is there 425 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 1: a deadline in sight to say by twenty twenty six, 426 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 1: I'm moving out. 427 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:12,360 Speaker 3: So I did come up with the exit plan. Excuse 428 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:17,160 Speaker 3: me and that exit plan, I should have been gone 429 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:23,159 Speaker 3: by no. No, no, I would be leaving by October. 430 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,080 Speaker 3: So I should be leaving by next one. But that's 431 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 3: not working out for me. 432 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 2: Did you share the exit plan with him? 433 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,399 Speaker 3: No? He knows. 434 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 5: No. 435 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,720 Speaker 3: I guess watching this, but dang. 436 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:38,359 Speaker 5: No. 437 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,080 Speaker 3: So we so we had been we had had had 438 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 3: a hiccup with what we want to do with the home, 439 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:48,240 Speaker 3: like sell it me and the girls say, or him say, 440 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,960 Speaker 3: I felt like, you know what, I felt like I 441 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:53,639 Speaker 3: should be able. 442 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 2: To stay, stay there and pay. 443 00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 3: Everything, so that would be nice. But I did not 444 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:01,879 Speaker 3: have that expectation. 445 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:03,560 Speaker 2: So you're gonna play that mortgage? 446 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:08,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, but he doesn't. He wants to stay and 447 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,440 Speaker 3: he wants me and the girls to find somewhere. 448 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,440 Speaker 2: Okay, So why he wants the house? Most men don't 449 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 2: typically want the house. 450 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,320 Speaker 3: I don't know, m. 451 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 1: Your friend talking about She's like, answer, that's what I 452 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,479 Speaker 1: want to know too. She's got her hand doing all this. 453 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:30,479 Speaker 3: I'm just saying because I heard it's going around. I 454 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:34,480 Speaker 3: heard maybe the one that these days they want. The 455 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,960 Speaker 3: man wants to soft life these days. 456 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,639 Speaker 1: Because typically the reason why I say that because a 457 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,360 Speaker 1: lot of times, even if he starts dating intentionally and 458 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 1: you know, getting a woman and marrying somebody, she ain't 459 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,680 Speaker 1: gonna want to come live in that house anyway with 460 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,800 Speaker 1: where so it's like he can just start over. Most 461 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,119 Speaker 1: guys love just starting over fresh anyway. 462 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 3: I also feel like in a lot of male friends 463 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,120 Speaker 3: that I've discussed this with, they feel like they would 464 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 3: be the ones to leave just that kids, yes, stay. 465 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 1: Where they saying wherever they neighborhood is, they friends. Maybe 466 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,480 Speaker 1: in the neighborhood if they were of school age, where 467 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 1: the school is, they get their life, don't get to 468 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:12,920 Speaker 1: change much. 469 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, But he doesn't see it that way. And I 470 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 3: think also because we have like fifty to fifty custody, 471 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,119 Speaker 3: he feels like, well, the kids will be with me 472 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,800 Speaker 3: half the time anyway. So I don't know. I mean, 473 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 3: I just feel like I have so much invested in 474 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,160 Speaker 3: that house. I have a beautiful closet room, Like, why 475 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:31,600 Speaker 3: do you think I should leave that? You know, it's 476 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 3: just set up so perfect for me. I just feel 477 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 3: like I should stay. But I'm also comfortable with leaving. 478 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,360 Speaker 2: I think he was on the wrong shows. 479 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,679 Speaker 1: Instead of loving Marriage of Detroit, you should be on 480 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 1: housewives or something. You just you feel like you give 481 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: me housewives of name the city. 482 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:55,800 Speaker 3: I mean, I mean maybe like me is in my closet, 483 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,240 Speaker 3: she said, I want to I don't want to leave 484 00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,760 Speaker 3: my closet. Yeah, we have this. I have this beautiful 485 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,440 Speaker 3: closet room built out. Like you think you're about to 486 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,640 Speaker 3: get at to somebody else, Yes, absolutely not. 487 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:05,239 Speaker 2: Yes it is. 488 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,480 Speaker 1: She's gonna be like, alright, this is wow. That is 489 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 1: Instagram at closet hall. 490 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:15,040 Speaker 4: So mad. 491 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 2: I was like, that is my closet, said, thank you girl, 492 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:21,320 Speaker 2: you did a great job decorating the shout out to 493 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:22,959 Speaker 2: my shout out to my sister. 494 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,600 Speaker 3: Absolutely not, But I don't know, Like I just thought 495 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:34,280 Speaker 3: like his parents were divorced and so his father left 496 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,639 Speaker 3: and left the house for his mom and him and 497 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,520 Speaker 3: his brother. So I just assumed that he would like 498 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,880 Speaker 3: do the same thing. But he that's just not his view. 499 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:44,680 Speaker 3: I'm not saying he's right or wrong. 500 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,320 Speaker 2: But was this the house that y'all built from scratch? 501 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,440 Speaker 3: No, okay, he purchased it. 502 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,400 Speaker 2: But this is the only house y'all have ever lived in. 503 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 3: This is our second was. 504 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 1: This y'all's dream home. I'm trying to find the emotional 505 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:57,600 Speaker 1: connection with him. 506 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:02,199 Speaker 3: So he does say, I love this house and you 507 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,120 Speaker 3: never really liked it, Like that is that true? 508 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:09,560 Speaker 2: Well then I'm on his side. 509 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 3: I mean, but still I didn't It wouldn't have been 510 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 3: my it wouldn't have been my preference. I allowed him 511 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:17,119 Speaker 3: to choose. 512 00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 2: So now you can go. 513 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. I've made it a home though, 514 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 3: like I put all this work in so but still 515 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,720 Speaker 3: it's like one person living there in it's five bedrooms, 516 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 3: three bathrooms. You know, you're all the space. It doesn't 517 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,000 Speaker 3: make sense, so. 518 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,320 Speaker 1: You feel so you think basically the best option is 519 00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,919 Speaker 1: just to sell it, split the equity, and go your 520 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:39,680 Speaker 1: separate ways. 521 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I think it's going to have to 522 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 3: come down to. So the reason why I haven't left 523 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,200 Speaker 3: is because everybody's like, don't you leave the house right now, 524 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:51,359 Speaker 3: You're gonna be out of luck. 525 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,080 Speaker 2: So so that never was discussed in the divorce decree. 526 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,680 Speaker 3: It was we actually have a contract to sell the. 527 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,040 Speaker 2: House, all right, whatever it is, that's what you you 528 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 2: have to fall back on. 529 00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 3: That's the fallback. Yeah, can it come up with the 530 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 3: agreement that worked for both of us. Nobody wants the 531 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,920 Speaker 3: other party to stay with the kids, so we're gonna. 532 00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:14,440 Speaker 1: And that's good that y'all have fifty to fifty custody. 533 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,719 Speaker 1: A lot of times I don't see that often. And 534 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:21,200 Speaker 1: so whatever y'all did, show that y'all could agree all 535 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,399 Speaker 1: the way down to the kids to be fifty fifty. 536 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,720 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, we did a lot of We didn't really 537 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,679 Speaker 3: allow the courts to choose anything for us, so nothing 538 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,240 Speaker 3: was really chosen by the courts. We kind of handle everything. Now. 539 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,200 Speaker 1: See, that's healthy to me, you know what I'm saying. 540 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,920 Speaker 1: If y'all can get that, it is. If y'all can 541 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,440 Speaker 1: talk about Christinea White you look at me like that, 542 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 1: that's not healthy. 543 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:41,840 Speaker 3: It is. 544 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 1: You're right now, If y'all could agree with something and 545 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:45,440 Speaker 1: say fifty to fifty for. 546 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:49,040 Speaker 3: The kids, fifty, everybody holds up their end of the bar. Again, yeah, 547 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:58,080 Speaker 3: if they do, we'lieve that there. You can't get you 548 00:25:58,119 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 3: can't get people to agree to things. 549 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:04,000 Speaker 1: And you don't exactly you're right about that, but the 550 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:07,240 Speaker 1: whole heart posture around it to say we can agree, 551 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,600 Speaker 1: we understand, you do what you say. 552 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:10,159 Speaker 2: You're gonna do. 553 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do what I said I'm gonna do, and 554 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,000 Speaker 1: we don't need the courts all involved in our relationship. 555 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,080 Speaker 3: Absolutely. I love that. 556 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:18,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, because y'all did it, y'all. 557 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,520 Speaker 1: It's in writing, and so that's why I just want 558 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,800 Speaker 1: to encourage both y'all to just uphold y'all end of it, 559 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 1: and then the kids can see a great, healthy co 560 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 1: parent a relationship. 561 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,360 Speaker 3: Absolutely, But I'm definitely trying to get up out of Detroit. 562 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,440 Speaker 3: So we want to move all together, moving because I'm 563 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 3: not from I'm not from Detroit where you're from. I'm 564 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 3: from Buffalo, New York. 565 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 2: Okay, you want to go back to these ghosts. 566 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:40,840 Speaker 3: I don't want to go back to Buffalo. 567 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,000 Speaker 2: Where you want to go Atlanta? Huh? 568 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,800 Speaker 3: No at, I don't know. 569 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,240 Speaker 2: I just felt that in my spirit. 570 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:55,000 Speaker 3: No, that was all. My sister just moved to Nashville, 571 00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:57,400 Speaker 3: so I am interested in Nashville, Tennessee. 572 00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:58,639 Speaker 2: Okay, that's a big difference. 573 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:04,199 Speaker 3: Be with my sister and her family. I'm open to 574 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:10,399 Speaker 3: I've always liked Florida. Now Atlanta career wise might be 575 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,200 Speaker 3: good because of the industry that I'm in, So, which 576 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:17,160 Speaker 3: is what we're you so I'm on reality television. So 577 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,800 Speaker 3: you know a lot of African American reality television stars 578 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:25,520 Speaker 3: reside in Atlanta and everybody's connecting. They kind of do 579 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,320 Speaker 3: well out there, So that would be something I would 580 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:30,560 Speaker 3: consider work wise. 581 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,439 Speaker 2: You're gonna say my spirit was off, so you just 582 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:33,360 Speaker 2: confirmed it right there. 583 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:40,280 Speaker 3: Housewives, because it's not a Disney Housewives, they wouldn't have me. 584 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,120 Speaker 3: I don't think I would bring it up drama, but. 585 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,720 Speaker 2: Would just be the person that get bullied the whole season. 586 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:46,520 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 587 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,800 Speaker 1: I the people out there, they just find somebody to 588 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,960 Speaker 1: pick on. If you yeah, they was like, oh, she's 589 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:52,680 Speaker 1: so nice. 590 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:53,080 Speaker 2: Pick on her. 591 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:55,640 Speaker 3: Back me in a corner though. 592 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 2: She said, if you don't know that, you know, yeah, 593 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,639 Speaker 2: so you're open. So there it is. 594 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,720 Speaker 1: Then you just you don't want to live in Detroit anymore. 595 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:10,879 Speaker 2: So clearly you don't want to you don't want the 596 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:11,479 Speaker 2: house anyway. 597 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 3: But I think for now, like if if I was 598 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,160 Speaker 3: to stay for now, I. 599 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 1: Would be all mediator. I just need to sit down 600 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:20,520 Speaker 1: with both y'all. Come on, you don't want to live 601 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 1: here no more? In a first place, I want you 602 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:23,960 Speaker 1: to go and cash out the equity. You can just 603 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,200 Speaker 1: keep the house, cash out the equity, give a her 604 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,080 Speaker 1: side of the money, get your money go. 605 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,719 Speaker 3: We'll see. Because I'm kind of tied to Detroit right 606 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 3: now because of the show, so I do need to 607 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:37,800 Speaker 3: be able to come back and forth, so I wouldn't 608 00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:41,080 Speaker 3: need like a resident places, yeah, to come back to. 609 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,320 Speaker 2: Are they coming back shooting anytime soon? 610 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 3: Do you know? They don't really tell us. They just 611 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,440 Speaker 3: pop up on us. We'll be there in two weeks 612 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 3: to start filming for the next three months. 613 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,200 Speaker 1: Okay, you put that in your contract. I need y'all 614 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,120 Speaker 1: to go rent me a house for X amount of 615 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:58,440 Speaker 1: months while y'all shooting, because right now I live in Nashville. 616 00:28:58,880 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 2: Be your manager. 617 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 3: I'm gonna gomay I take you. 618 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,680 Speaker 1: Because that's the whole reality of it is that at 619 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:07,600 Speaker 1: the end of the day, you can't hold your life up, 620 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,720 Speaker 1: especially if you're Let me ask you this because a 621 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,360 Speaker 1: lot of times we assume that people want to get 622 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 1: married again. 623 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 2: Do you desire marriage? Oh? 624 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:15,240 Speaker 3: My god? Yes? 625 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,880 Speaker 1: Why real bad? Why let me ask you this. How 626 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,640 Speaker 1: many years were you married the first time? 627 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,480 Speaker 3: I was married for fourteen years. 628 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,960 Speaker 2: Fourteen years. Yeah, after fourteen years, you've been divorced. 629 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 1: How long five months, five months and you desire marriage again? 630 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 3: Why I am a lover girl. I am a wife 631 00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:40,200 Speaker 3: like my mom. Like all the women that I grew 632 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,160 Speaker 3: up around were married, and so that's all I saw. 633 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:50,080 Speaker 3: My mom is a bishop's wife married, my grandmother bishop's 634 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:55,480 Speaker 3: wife married, my dad's mom pastor's wife married, all my 635 00:29:55,600 --> 00:30:00,120 Speaker 3: aunt's married. You know what I'm saying. So all of 636 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,520 Speaker 3: those women poured so much into me, and that's all 637 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,320 Speaker 3: I saw was them being wives. And I'm like, oh, 638 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 3: this is it just comes so natural to me, and 639 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,640 Speaker 3: so I have it like I have a desire to 640 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:16,080 Speaker 3: like serve my husband. It's super strong. 641 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,160 Speaker 1: So what did they think when you said I'm getting 642 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:21,400 Speaker 1: a divorce. All these people in your family that you've 643 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,520 Speaker 1: seen been married for years. I assume how did they 644 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,160 Speaker 1: feel when you said that? They say, come on, hold on, 645 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:28,880 Speaker 1: don't let the devil terror park. 646 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:33,600 Speaker 3: Of course, especially you know my parents are in their seventies, 647 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,880 Speaker 3: so you know that generation you kind of like say, 648 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:41,920 Speaker 3: you stay, you fight through everything. I kind of got 649 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,600 Speaker 3: a split view from my parents, which I was shocked about. 650 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 3: My mom was more so like, did you worry about this? 651 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:49,840 Speaker 3: Are you sure you heard from God? You need to 652 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:54,400 Speaker 3: stick it out because it's scary out here, and sometimes 653 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,640 Speaker 3: this happens, and sometimes that happens, and I'm just like, girl, 654 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:02,000 Speaker 3: I do not choose this for myself and I'm not 655 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,400 Speaker 3: a part of that, you know. Generation Like I see 656 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 3: things different now. I feel like, if things if you 657 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,760 Speaker 3: have grounds, go go for it. If you have grounds. 658 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 3: My father was very supportive, not that my mom wasn't supportive. 659 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 3: She just was kind of pushing for me to reconsider 660 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:23,200 Speaker 3: my decision. My father, he was like, you know what, 661 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:26,720 Speaker 3: I trust you, Like you know what I'm saying. I 662 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,400 Speaker 3: don't think you would leave your marriage for anything that 663 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,800 Speaker 3: wasn't serious. You sound like you have a plan. You 664 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:36,720 Speaker 3: sound happy with your decision. You know, whatever you want 665 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 3: to do. I support you. My siblings my sister was 666 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:44,920 Speaker 3: gun ho, not gun hole, but she was just like, yeah, 667 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,760 Speaker 3: like if you if you have grounds and you don't 668 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,680 Speaker 3: feel happy in this, go ahead. And then my brothers 669 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:51,640 Speaker 3: they were I feel like they. 670 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,560 Speaker 2: Were on his side. 671 00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:58,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't know. I just I think they might 672 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:04,200 Speaker 3: have empathized with them maybe, And they were just like, 673 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,680 Speaker 3: you know, are you sure, Like there's nothing y'all can fix? 674 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 3: And I'm like, what about me like how I feel 675 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,960 Speaker 3: about this? And so you know, it was kind of mixed. 676 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:17,880 Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, everybody husband support 677 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,840 Speaker 3: him in the end, like my brothers support me. They 678 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,640 Speaker 3: call me all the time, they check my location. You 679 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:26,040 Speaker 3: need anything, if I'm traveling home to Buffalo, you want 680 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 3: me to take care of your gas, like you know, 681 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,200 Speaker 3: they know. I don't have a sponsor at the moment. 682 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:38,520 Speaker 2: So are you looking for one? You're looking for a sponsor? No, okay? 683 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 1: So now, so now, since you've been divorced, has your 684 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,680 Speaker 1: dating mindset shifted prior to. 685 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:49,360 Speaker 2: When you got married? Oh my god, yess, Like, what 686 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:50,360 Speaker 2: what does dating look like? 687 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:50,640 Speaker 5: Now? 688 00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:52,680 Speaker 3: Dating doesn't look like anything right now? 689 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:54,640 Speaker 2: Well, I mean when you begin to start dating, what 690 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:54,959 Speaker 2: is that? 691 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:59,600 Speaker 3: So when I was dating, oh okay, when I was 692 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:04,160 Speaker 3: in the sty. If I got married, I was the 693 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:09,280 Speaker 3: data mall kind of girl. Yeah, yeah, I had a 694 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 3: lot of mails that were around. Now, I wasn't intimate 695 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:18,160 Speaker 3: with them, but you know they're around. They like to, 696 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,360 Speaker 3: you know, take you out, do nice things for you. 697 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,000 Speaker 3: And that was just my life. And I didn't feel 698 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 3: like I needed to be tied to any one person. 699 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,120 Speaker 2: So you feel like, so you tell them. You had 700 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,120 Speaker 2: a bunch of guys doing nice things for them that 701 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,640 Speaker 2: you didn't have to do nice things for them. I mean, 702 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,200 Speaker 2: theyin't doing nice things for you, but you'd have to 703 00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:37,080 Speaker 2: do nice things for them. 704 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:38,120 Speaker 3: What kind of nice things? 705 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:42,080 Speaker 1: No, No, just buying stuff and you just didn't have 706 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:44,840 Speaker 1: to sleep with them at all, and they were buying 707 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:46,720 Speaker 1: you stuff like what put us in perspective? 708 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,560 Speaker 3: I wouldn't say anything crazy, like you know, pay some bills, 709 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:55,560 Speaker 3: take your avo carno or a phone. 710 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,960 Speaker 2: Bill or what I was buying your car? 711 00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:09,320 Speaker 3: I mean I had a boyfriend that did. Yes, I 712 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:12,000 Speaker 3: had cars from men, but they were those were my 713 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,960 Speaker 3: actual boyfriends. So I had boyfriends. But also I had 714 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:20,279 Speaker 3: situation I guess now they will be called situationships. Yeah, 715 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,440 Speaker 3: so the boyfriends did, they did those big things. I 716 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,640 Speaker 3: had a cap on what I would accept, Like what 717 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:30,080 Speaker 3: what was the cap? I wasn't like, you know, you 718 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,000 Speaker 3: can pay some bills, and you can. You don't buy 719 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,439 Speaker 3: me food and take care of little things, pay for trip, 720 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,279 Speaker 3: but that's it, Like I'm not you know what I'm saying. 721 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,239 Speaker 3: I feel like once you get to a certain. 722 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:44,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, I ain't nobody going a trip on you taking 723 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,040 Speaker 2: you on a trip and they ain't getting nothing. 724 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:47,480 Speaker 3: I wasn't going on a trip with them. 725 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:49,800 Speaker 2: So they pay for a trip for you to go 726 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:54,360 Speaker 2: with somebody else friends. So you tell me, these guys. 727 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,239 Speaker 1: Will pay for they they'll sponsor your trip with your 728 00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:58,160 Speaker 1: homegirls and they just sitting at the house. 729 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:05,759 Speaker 3: Yes, they were nice, they were so nice, But I 730 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:13,759 Speaker 3: would be we would be friends, like you you said situationships, Well, okay, 731 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,560 Speaker 3: maybe not because I feel like what situationships you are intimate? Yeah, 732 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:21,040 Speaker 3: I know, I haven't had a lot of partners. 733 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:22,239 Speaker 2: To talk about that. 734 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, so you tell me these guys would just be 735 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:29,359 Speaker 1: what they say, tricking off money with you. I'm making 736 00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,160 Speaker 1: it sound like what it is, because that's what that's 737 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:35,640 Speaker 1: what shaped your mindset to be this kept woman that 738 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:39,400 Speaker 1: now you don't have the covering any more of a husband, 739 00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,120 Speaker 1: but you still That's what you're struggling with, is like, 740 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,400 Speaker 1: how in the world do I abandon being kept? 741 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,160 Speaker 2: Because before you even. 742 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 3: Got married, like you said, you were always taken care 743 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,279 Speaker 3: of I was, but I did also know how to 744 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:52,240 Speaker 3: take care of my stuff. 745 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,440 Speaker 1: But did you take care of yourself much? You can 746 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,160 Speaker 1: know how to do it, but never have to you 747 00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,719 Speaker 1: might know how to take out the trash, but did 748 00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:59,719 Speaker 1: never have to take out the trash. I can't say 749 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:00,720 Speaker 1: you're take our traces. 750 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:02,480 Speaker 2: I can. I just haven't in the last well, I 751 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:03,520 Speaker 2: always fourteen years. 752 00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:07,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I always had help, But that doesn't 753 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,120 Speaker 3: mean I wasn't doing for myself. But I did always 754 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:11,760 Speaker 3: have assistance. 755 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:12,000 Speaker 2: All right. 756 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,239 Speaker 3: I mean, did you not take care of your girlfriends? 757 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,040 Speaker 1: Yes, but not to the level that you getting. I 758 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,320 Speaker 1: wasn't sitting there buying cars and paying car notes and 759 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,719 Speaker 1: all that. You're in the different You were dating people 760 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 1: in a different text bracket than I was when I 761 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:27,320 Speaker 1: was age for age, I ain't gonna be able to 762 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,720 Speaker 1: do it. I say, I reserved that level of treatment 763 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:31,880 Speaker 1: for my wife. I didn't want to be the guy 764 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 1: that's sitting up here buying every girl that I'm interested 765 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:35,640 Speaker 1: in purses. 766 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,960 Speaker 3: I don't think they did that for every woman that 767 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,200 Speaker 3: I don't. I wouldn't say they just did it for me. 768 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:45,400 Speaker 3: But it wasn't like they were just tricking off on everybody. 769 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,440 Speaker 2: They just did it for you. You were so special. 770 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:49,759 Speaker 3: I just feel like they were my boyfriends and they 771 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:50,799 Speaker 3: wanted to say I was the. 772 00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:52,439 Speaker 2: Ones that wasn't the ones that you said. 773 00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:59,920 Speaker 3: They were just nice nice They were just nice. 774 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,520 Speaker 2: Men sitting you and your homegirls for trips. 775 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,440 Speaker 3: And then no, not my homegirls. They was just pay 776 00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,160 Speaker 3: for my abortion, not my homegirls. 777 00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,200 Speaker 2: Like yeah, any of those guys would you ever be 778 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:10,640 Speaker 2: with now? 779 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,960 Speaker 3: You mean like date? 780 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:16,960 Speaker 2: Seriously? 781 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 3: They came back into my life, came back and. 782 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:20,839 Speaker 1: Said, listen, let me tell you something twenty years ago, 783 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:21,879 Speaker 1: eighteen years ago. 784 00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:23,520 Speaker 2: You know I've always liked you. 785 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,160 Speaker 1: I've watched you go get married to this other guy 786 00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,560 Speaker 1: when I wish I was the one walking down the 787 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,480 Speaker 1: aisle with you. And you've known that I've always covered you, 788 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 1: I've always protected you, I've always provided for you. But 789 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,560 Speaker 1: you never saw me the way that I wish you 790 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,239 Speaker 1: would see me. And I always looked at you as 791 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:44,080 Speaker 1: been my wife. And I've waited twenty years to wait 792 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,359 Speaker 1: for my turn for you to actually give me a shot. 793 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,759 Speaker 1: Can you please give me an opportunity to love you 794 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:51,239 Speaker 1: in the way that you've never been loved before? 795 00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:55,400 Speaker 3: I have had that those men come back around, so 796 00:37:55,400 --> 00:38:02,000 Speaker 3: and then whatever you said, No, why are you laughing? No, 797 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 3: First of all, I don't spend the block. That's just 798 00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,640 Speaker 3: never been my thing, but you never really gave it 799 00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:12,759 Speaker 3: a full shot. Spinning the block. 800 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,680 Speaker 1: No, that those guys that you never really took interest 801 00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:17,600 Speaker 1: in the first place, because they were just so nice. 802 00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:19,320 Speaker 2: They were just so nice. 803 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,799 Speaker 3: But I still feel like that's spending the block. That's 804 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,560 Speaker 3: like a past situation. I wouldn't so. 805 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:29,600 Speaker 2: There's no hope for none of them. 806 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,279 Speaker 1: So when those guys have come back recently, you just 807 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:34,200 Speaker 1: told them straight up, knowing you didn't try to entertain 808 00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:34,560 Speaker 1: it at all. 809 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,400 Speaker 3: I had one that I let back in as a 810 00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:48,360 Speaker 3: friend and it just wasn't gonna work because I feel 811 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,279 Speaker 3: like he loved me, but he also hated me at 812 00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:57,040 Speaker 3: the same time because we didn't materialize into anything, and 813 00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,880 Speaker 3: you know, I kind of abruptly and in the situation, 814 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,799 Speaker 3: and yeah, so I feel like he would always make 815 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:11,640 Speaker 3: me pay for that. And I'm like, oh, I ain't stupid, No, I. 816 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,840 Speaker 2: Ain't gonna sign up for this abuse. No, forget this. 817 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:18,279 Speaker 3: And like even as friends, like we would bump hands 818 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,840 Speaker 3: so much, and he would have like these little flashbacks, 819 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:24,160 Speaker 3: like emotionally like and I'm like, oh, nah, we can't. 820 00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:28,080 Speaker 3: We could never be more than friends. But now I 821 00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:29,239 Speaker 3: don't even speak to him. 822 00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:32,680 Speaker 1: So, man, ask you this, Christine, as you're you've you've 823 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:34,960 Speaker 1: dated in the past, you've been married for fourteen years. 824 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:38,160 Speaker 1: Are you looking for the same thing that's going around? 825 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,799 Speaker 1: And I say same thing from a financial standpoint? Are 826 00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:45,520 Speaker 1: you looking for a man that will continue on with 827 00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:47,360 Speaker 1: the soft life that you've been provided? 828 00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:51,400 Speaker 3: I think that most women desire for their man to 829 00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:53,560 Speaker 3: be able to financially provide. 830 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,959 Speaker 2: We're talking about most talking about you, because most women 831 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,520 Speaker 2: ain't even gotten what you've gotten before. If you want 832 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,680 Speaker 2: to be honest, I think that much. And see I 833 00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:04,680 Speaker 2: want you to understand that because I think so. 834 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,560 Speaker 1: Do you realize by even the circle that you may 835 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:11,440 Speaker 1: have as friends, do you do you see that you 836 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:15,480 Speaker 1: may have been afforded a lifestyle that most women haven't 837 00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:16,040 Speaker 1: had before. 838 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:18,680 Speaker 3: Yeah? 839 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:21,560 Speaker 1: Okay, So you're saying even the friends you have, most 840 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,160 Speaker 1: of them they don't have husbands where they never had 841 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:25,200 Speaker 1: to work in fourteen years. 842 00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:26,440 Speaker 3: Yeah okay. 843 00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:28,600 Speaker 1: So I just want to bring stuff to reality because 844 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,880 Speaker 1: sometimes we can have an experience and we think, oh, well, 845 00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,560 Speaker 1: everybody has no they don't. 846 00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:38,719 Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that my views are changing. I don't 847 00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:42,480 Speaker 3: want to say completely change, but they're changing, Like I'm 848 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,000 Speaker 3: I'm forty three, I must to be forty four. I 849 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:48,360 Speaker 3: have two children, Like I don't have the same expectations 850 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,719 Speaker 3: that I had back then, So. 851 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,239 Speaker 2: Give me an expectation has changed. 852 00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:00,800 Speaker 3: So besides the fact that I don't ever want to 853 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:05,239 Speaker 3: be in a position to where I'm not making the 854 00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,960 Speaker 3: kind of money to support the lifestyle that I love 855 00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:11,320 Speaker 3: on my own, I will never be in a position 856 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:11,959 Speaker 3: like that again. 857 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,640 Speaker 1: But does that mean that you will minimize your lifestyle 858 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:22,440 Speaker 1: so that or do you feel like you'll push higher? 859 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:25,040 Speaker 1: Like let's say, if you had a lifestyle where you 860 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:28,480 Speaker 1: say my lifestyle is a twenty thousand dollars a month lifestyle, 861 00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,239 Speaker 1: I have to make twenty thousand dollars a month in 862 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:35,000 Speaker 1: order for me to submit to this type of relationship. 863 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:39,080 Speaker 1: Or would you say I'm gonna minimize my lifestyle to 864 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:43,000 Speaker 1: where it fits where I may have an eight thousand 865 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,120 Speaker 1: dollars a month lifestyle. 866 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:45,239 Speaker 3: I'm open to both. 867 00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 2: Okay, so you can you can lower your standards to 868 00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:49,960 Speaker 2: a certain degree. 869 00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,040 Speaker 3: I wouldn't even call it lower in my standard. 870 00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:52,840 Speaker 2: What would you call it? 871 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,560 Speaker 3: I mean, I just I just feel like it's accepting 872 00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:59,440 Speaker 3: your person for who they are and what they bring 873 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:04,400 Speaker 3: to the table, and I feel like you can always 874 00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,680 Speaker 3: I'm gonna help meet you know what I'm saying, As 875 00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:12,719 Speaker 3: long as you have the mindset and you have a plan, 876 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,160 Speaker 3: we can make money. As long as you have a 877 00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:17,000 Speaker 3: good character, I'm willing to work with you. 878 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:20,279 Speaker 1: Would your ex husband say the same about when he 879 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,120 Speaker 1: say that you helped him make money? 880 00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:23,040 Speaker 3: Yeah? 881 00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:26,400 Speaker 2: So while like you didn't do much in the marriage, 882 00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:27,440 Speaker 2: like you've just been taking. 883 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,279 Speaker 1: Care of financially, if you were being an asset, you said, 884 00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,480 Speaker 1: you're doing your brand deals with your own money doing that. 885 00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,640 Speaker 1: But whatever his business was in the music industry or 886 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:39,600 Speaker 1: whatever did he did, he utilize your brilliance and intellect 887 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,160 Speaker 1: to help push his career forward. 888 00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:44,320 Speaker 3: So in the beginning, like when we first got married, 889 00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:49,239 Speaker 3: I was very hands on at his establishment, Barry like, 890 00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:53,439 Speaker 3: I helped him a lot. So yeah, I did play 891 00:42:53,480 --> 00:43:00,480 Speaker 3: a part in his growth. I think also the Covenant 892 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:04,480 Speaker 3: and the spiritual covering that came along with the marriage. 893 00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:09,200 Speaker 3: I feel like he was blessed tremendously, you know, financially 894 00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:10,120 Speaker 3: just because of that. 895 00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,040 Speaker 1: See, and I'm glad you finally put language about that, 896 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:15,960 Speaker 1: because I hate when all the conversation I did this 897 00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,759 Speaker 1: on purpose to make it all about finances, to see 898 00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:24,040 Speaker 1: if your lived experience could provide something that's outside of money, 899 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:28,960 Speaker 1: because I believe that the what's intangible is that if 900 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:32,359 Speaker 1: you could get a spiritual covering from either spouse, if 901 00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,400 Speaker 1: you can get somebody that can pray and then to 902 00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,279 Speaker 1: see they can pray for your next door to be 903 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:40,320 Speaker 1: open financially. Yes, So I don't like relegating it to 904 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:42,600 Speaker 1: what you bring to table. I got money, and you 905 00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:43,000 Speaker 1: got this. 906 00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:44,320 Speaker 2: No, I want that. 907 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:48,040 Speaker 1: And I talked about money on purpose to see if 908 00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:49,680 Speaker 1: I keep pushing, would you actually say that? 909 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:50,239 Speaker 5: Yeah? 910 00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:56,680 Speaker 3: Absolutely, I feel like us being in covenant me now 911 00:43:56,719 --> 00:44:00,759 Speaker 3: I play, but I pray too, you know what I'm saying. 912 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:06,200 Speaker 3: So I always, you know, called forth bigger things for 913 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,960 Speaker 3: the ex husband. I always kept him cover and you know, 914 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:15,279 Speaker 3: I always ask God to expand his territory. Every time 915 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,839 Speaker 3: I got pregnant. He had a huge contract come through, 916 00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:21,759 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. So I do feel like 917 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:28,360 Speaker 3: God was blessing him because of you know, our marriage 918 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:29,160 Speaker 3: and our children. 919 00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:36,400 Speaker 1: Absolutely, And so the second time around, you're saying that 920 00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:40,680 Speaker 1: your expectations has shifted where you're not looking for the 921 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:41,759 Speaker 1: million dollar man. 922 00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:45,920 Speaker 3: So to speak, you're looking for what I'm looking for. 923 00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:52,719 Speaker 3: Somebody that has good character, somebody that loves the Lord, 924 00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,759 Speaker 3: who is healed, because I feel like all of us 925 00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:01,640 Speaker 3: have some healing to do. You know, somebody who's grounded 926 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:08,960 Speaker 3: and who will love me unconditionally. I'm a mother too. 927 00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:13,080 Speaker 3: Saw somebody that will love my girls like and they're 928 00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:17,160 Speaker 3: his own. But the financial piece of it, I just 929 00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:20,080 Speaker 3: kind of it just kind of is what it is now. 930 00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:23,320 Speaker 3: You can't come to me broke with no idea, like, 931 00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,799 Speaker 3: with no plan, that's just crazy. 932 00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:27,920 Speaker 1: So what has broke look like? Because broke could be 933 00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:30,480 Speaker 1: maybe a different standard in your mind? What do you 934 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:33,800 Speaker 1: call broke less than what annually? 935 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:38,560 Speaker 3: Honestly, I feel like broke is a mindset that's even better. 936 00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:39,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 937 00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:43,880 Speaker 3: I feel like if you again, if you don't have 938 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,000 Speaker 3: a plan, if you're not working towards, let me see 939 00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,600 Speaker 3: what you got, like, let me see what you're working towards, Like, 940 00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:52,120 Speaker 3: what do you see for our future? 941 00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:55,399 Speaker 1: So if you met a man got a roommate live 942 00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:58,799 Speaker 1: with his homeboy saying, hey see, I start squinting right. 943 00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:01,600 Speaker 3: There you got I'm trying to meet you there. 944 00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,879 Speaker 1: He got a plan, and this plan after you heard 945 00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,160 Speaker 1: him talk about You're like, oh my god, it's gonna work, 946 00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:11,359 Speaker 1: and that plan is gonna change his life, like literly 947 00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:13,560 Speaker 1: gonna bring in in the next it's gonna take about 948 00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:16,120 Speaker 1: two years, but in two years he's gonna get this 949 00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:18,799 Speaker 1: and you just see it. It ain't even know pipe dream. 950 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:21,360 Speaker 1: It's gonna be a ten billion dollar contract. And he 951 00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:23,560 Speaker 1: said this right here, this is all the conversations. You 952 00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,319 Speaker 1: got a chance to sit there and hear him talk 953 00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:28,440 Speaker 1: on the phone to people that are multi millionaires, and 954 00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,719 Speaker 1: you're hearing them confirmed that in two years this is 955 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:32,320 Speaker 1: his payout. 956 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:32,920 Speaker 2: He's gonna work. 957 00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,280 Speaker 1: But right now he said, I had to sell everything 958 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,759 Speaker 1: to build all this from the ground up and got 959 00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:40,080 Speaker 1: me a roommate, live in an apartment with somebody. 960 00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,479 Speaker 2: But you know, in two years that's gonna take place. 961 00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:50,160 Speaker 3: To me, he's already rich. Why because he's obviously doing 962 00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:54,640 Speaker 3: the work, Like his mindset is there, like he has 963 00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:59,160 Speaker 3: the foundation laid out. He's just waiting for the manifestation 964 00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:02,400 Speaker 3: to im through. That's that's rich to me. 965 00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,400 Speaker 1: Absolutely, he can't. But he can't go buy you pursons. 966 00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:07,040 Speaker 1: He can't be helping no car note, he can't do 967 00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:08,719 Speaker 1: none of that he said right now, I can't do it. 968 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,760 Speaker 1: I gotta take all the money I got and invested 969 00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:13,920 Speaker 1: in this company I'm building, and I can't do that. 970 00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:15,560 Speaker 2: I know you used to all this stuff. I ain't. 971 00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:17,960 Speaker 2: You ain't gonna get no Gucci in all this. I 972 00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:18,480 Speaker 2: can't do it. 973 00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,040 Speaker 1: If you stick with me, and you're the person that 974 00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:25,000 Speaker 1: God keeps in my life, I promise you, in two 975 00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:26,680 Speaker 1: years your life will be changed. 976 00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:33,399 Speaker 3: I'm gonna stick beside him. I'm gonna stick beside him, 977 00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:35,640 Speaker 3: Oh my god, especially if he has the character he 978 00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:37,960 Speaker 3: let the lord Baby you already got me. 979 00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:43,279 Speaker 2: Would you would you marry him in that way? Up 980 00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,040 Speaker 2: to wait two years? Would you ever see the manifestation 981 00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:47,279 Speaker 2: for you to say I do to him? 982 00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:52,279 Speaker 3: I will marry him. Plus, also, I know what I 983 00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:53,320 Speaker 3: bring to the table. 984 00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:53,640 Speaker 5: I know. 985 00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:57,320 Speaker 3: I know the value that I add. We get married, 986 00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:00,719 Speaker 3: for the blessing is really about to start pouring through. 987 00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:03,240 Speaker 3: It might happen sooner than two years. 988 00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:06,279 Speaker 2: So you really believe that. 989 00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:11,279 Speaker 3: Absolutely, I've seen it. I've seen it. It happened like 990 00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:15,640 Speaker 3: I'm telling you. When I got married to the X, 991 00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:22,000 Speaker 3: his business was doing just okay. The man has seen 992 00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:27,400 Speaker 3: more money than he's ever seen during our marriage. His 993 00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:31,799 Speaker 3: business has never flourished. I like that, you know, as 994 00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:35,520 Speaker 3: much as it has. He has never had as many 995 00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:40,200 Speaker 3: contracts in big contracts. I mean he's had some huge contracts. 996 00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:46,439 Speaker 3: They've all been his two biggest contracts have been every since. 997 00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,880 Speaker 3: I mean every time I got pregnant, big contract, big contract. 998 00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:54,720 Speaker 3: I know it had to do with the covenant, the covering. 999 00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:55,440 Speaker 2: I believe in that. 1000 00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:59,080 Speaker 1: And I was sharing that with my guess when this 1001 00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,120 Speaker 1: episode run, I'll be married. But I was sharing that 1002 00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:07,640 Speaker 1: with my fiance. I said, whatever you desire, pray me 1003 00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:11,800 Speaker 1: into that level. And I said, your position, your manday, 1004 00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:16,000 Speaker 1: your responsibility. I said, I want twenty twenty six to 1005 00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:19,520 Speaker 1: look like a year I've never had before. I said, 1006 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,680 Speaker 1: I need you to pray. I need you to seek. 1007 00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to hear no complaining. I don't want 1008 00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:26,560 Speaker 1: to hear nothing. I want to if you have something, 1009 00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:29,560 Speaker 1: if you desire something financially, you get on your knees 1010 00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:31,080 Speaker 1: and you pray and say, God, I need you to 1011 00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:34,040 Speaker 1: bring this for God, this book that my husband is writing. 1012 00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:35,640 Speaker 1: I need you to go ahead and make that be 1013 00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:38,839 Speaker 1: on the New York Times bestseller. I said, that's that's 1014 00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:41,800 Speaker 1: what I made a point to wait to get married. 1015 00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:45,000 Speaker 1: Been married before, and I said this time around, I said, 1016 00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:47,720 Speaker 1: I want a woman. Not that she wasn't this before 1017 00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:50,560 Speaker 1: my ex wife, but I'm saying to be very rooted 1018 00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:52,600 Speaker 1: in it to be I'm going to pray to the 1019 00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:54,880 Speaker 1: next level. I'm gonna pray, and you're you're giving me 1020 00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:58,240 Speaker 1: the language in which the conversation. While recording this conversation 1021 00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:00,640 Speaker 1: we just had last week, I said, when you marry 1022 00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:05,640 Speaker 1: the right person, male or female, you can stop complaining 1023 00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:07,880 Speaker 1: about what you don't have and start praying about it. 1024 00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:11,640 Speaker 1: The Bible says word two are gathered in my name, 1025 00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:13,840 Speaker 1: there shall I be in the mist. That means that 1026 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:15,840 Speaker 1: if you when the minute you said I do, you 1027 00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:19,240 Speaker 1: have invited the Holy Spirit. You've invited God into your marriage. 1028 00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:22,439 Speaker 1: If you are a kingdom minded person, you go all right, God, 1029 00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:25,120 Speaker 1: all right. You said, my home will have no lack. 1030 00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:27,600 Speaker 1: I believe that you said one can chase away one 1031 00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:29,680 Speaker 1: thousand and two can set ten thousand demons of flight. 1032 00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:31,560 Speaker 2: I believe that and everything that you have. 1033 00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,360 Speaker 1: You said, if we come together and we agree, whatsoever 1034 00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:36,759 Speaker 1: things we bind on earth shall be bound in heaven. 1035 00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:38,879 Speaker 1: Whatsoever things are loose on earth shall be loose in heaven. 1036 00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:39,400 Speaker 2: I believe that. 1037 00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,760 Speaker 1: And you can begin to start loosing finances and binding 1038 00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:46,560 Speaker 1: up generational debt and binding up poverty and binding up 1039 00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:51,479 Speaker 1: in generational trauma. Start binding that stuff up and start 1040 00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:54,400 Speaker 1: releasing healing and prosperity into your marriage. 1041 00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:57,120 Speaker 2: But y'all have to be in agreement, abely, y'all have 1042 00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:59,520 Speaker 2: to be equally yo. And so it's interesting. 1043 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:04,359 Speaker 1: And that's why in that zoom call we had, I said, oh, yeah, 1044 00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:06,920 Speaker 1: I want on a yellow couch because that's the mindset 1045 00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:09,160 Speaker 1: that you had that I didn't believe. I didn't know 1046 00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:10,600 Speaker 1: that that's how you were thinking. I was like, oh, 1047 00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:14,800 Speaker 1: you come from a family of preachers and people in 1048 00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:15,680 Speaker 1: ministry or whatever. 1049 00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:17,920 Speaker 2: And I said, okay, cool. And I was like, okay. 1050 00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:20,640 Speaker 1: All I want is to make sure that you stay 1051 00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:23,520 Speaker 1: rooted in that mindset because out here the Dayton streets, 1052 00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:26,239 Speaker 1: you've not seen it, you done experienced it. 1053 00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:27,640 Speaker 2: It's a whole bunch of. 1054 00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:28,399 Speaker 3: Rough out there. 1055 00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:30,759 Speaker 2: Boy, did you expect for it to be like this? 1056 00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:35,360 Speaker 3: Well again, I've only gone on one date, but you 1057 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:39,560 Speaker 3: have had conversations with it. I have had conversation with 1058 00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:48,200 Speaker 3: a couple of people, but nothing past just some small talk. 1059 00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:49,319 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. 1060 00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:51,000 Speaker 2: Why is it hard to get you out of date? 1061 00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:52,080 Speaker 3: Yes? 1062 00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:55,960 Speaker 2: Why hmmm? 1063 00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:57,600 Speaker 3: You're trying to give me to talk too much. 1064 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:00,560 Speaker 2: I just want to do. 1065 00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:07,960 Speaker 3: So the one date that I did go on that 1066 00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:11,480 Speaker 3: was a that turned into a thing. It was a 1067 00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:15,239 Speaker 3: thing like we had a little stint and so I 1068 00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:20,320 Speaker 3: wasn't dating anybody else because my focus was there on 1069 00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:24,520 Speaker 3: that person. So I wasn't entertaining anyone else. I just 1070 00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:27,799 Speaker 3: I didn't have the desire to mm hmm. He had 1071 00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:33,160 Speaker 3: me like my head, go lord, we ain't even do nothing. 1072 00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:36,480 Speaker 3: How that worked? 1073 00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:39,920 Speaker 1: He said, boy, if I give you something, you can 1074 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,480 Speaker 1: be standing outside my and be like Jazmine Sullivan, I 1075 00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:43,640 Speaker 1: broke through windows. 1076 00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:44,279 Speaker 5: Car. 1077 00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:47,000 Speaker 3: I'm breaking the windows off the house. 1078 00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:48,319 Speaker 2: No car. 1079 00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:57,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, Like I was really like I was all in. 1080 00:52:58,120 --> 00:52:59,839 Speaker 2: And you know what, that's that's pretty much. 1081 00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:03,920 Speaker 1: That's natural because you've been in a fourteen year marriage 1082 00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,560 Speaker 1: and so the first thing is to try to find 1083 00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:08,840 Speaker 1: balance in dating because all you know is been a 1084 00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,440 Speaker 1: wife for fourteen years. So you'll show up in a 1085 00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:15,640 Speaker 1: man's life being a wife and just doing too much 1086 00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:19,920 Speaker 1: too soon and he'll hold on like hold on, because 1087 00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:22,799 Speaker 1: it's just a different progression that has to take place. 1088 00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:24,520 Speaker 1: That's why you have to be very rooted and say, 1089 00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:26,120 Speaker 1: all right, God, I don't want to be out here 1090 00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:29,520 Speaker 1: dating multiple people. Just give me clarity of thought, clarity 1091 00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:32,560 Speaker 1: of heart, clarity of mine, and then connect me with 1092 00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:35,759 Speaker 1: whoever you want me to be connected and teach me 1093 00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:38,439 Speaker 1: how to guard my heart. The Bible says, above all things, 1094 00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:40,319 Speaker 1: guard your heart from out of it flows the. 1095 00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:41,319 Speaker 2: Issues of life. 1096 00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,919 Speaker 1: And so if you're very wise about how you guard 1097 00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:49,239 Speaker 1: your heart, and then you also take into the perspective 1098 00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:53,040 Speaker 1: the scripture that says, don't awaken love before it's time, 1099 00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:57,120 Speaker 1: then you know how to safely date and date healthy 1100 00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:01,319 Speaker 1: where you're not tied up in somebody being heartbroken over 1101 00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:02,680 Speaker 1: somebody that had your Hello. 1102 00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:12,400 Speaker 3: Oh well, put me in check. Is that exactly what? 1103 00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:16,080 Speaker 3: So sad? I'm too big for this. 1104 00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:21,000 Speaker 2: I'm too old, forty two years old over here, father. 1105 00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:26,040 Speaker 3: Forty three, forty four? God, why would I do something 1106 00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:32,680 Speaker 3: like that. I'm so embarrass I'm getting hot. This is embarrassing. 1107 00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:36,319 Speaker 1: It's not because it's normal, it wasn't necessary. That means 1108 00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:38,319 Speaker 1: that you're at least because let me tell you something. 1109 00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:42,440 Speaker 1: I'd rather you be that than be the person that's hardened. 1110 00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,879 Speaker 3: I'm definitely not hard and my heart is so oh, 1111 00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:48,800 Speaker 3: it's just it's still very sold. But that is a prayer. 1112 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,480 Speaker 3: I did go through a heart and heart before really absolutely, 1113 00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:57,600 Speaker 3: you're married. No, So I was in a well before 1114 00:54:57,600 --> 00:54:59,560 Speaker 3: I got married. I was in a four year relationship, 1115 00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:02,000 Speaker 3: and it was physically it was all the abuse. It 1116 00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:06,960 Speaker 3: was physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, it was all the things. 1117 00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:13,440 Speaker 3: It's okay. And by the time I left, I finally 1118 00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:20,719 Speaker 3: left that situation, I was so I'm a soft girl, 1119 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:26,239 Speaker 3: but things that would naturally make a woman flinch nothing 1120 00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:29,960 Speaker 3: made me flinch anymore. Like I scared myself, like I 1121 00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:35,400 Speaker 3: wasn't scared of anything. Like nothing scared me, nothing moved me, 1122 00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:38,360 Speaker 3: nothing bothered me. I barely cried, and that just wasn't me. 1123 00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:42,480 Speaker 3: I cry all the time, okay, And I was like, 1124 00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,320 Speaker 3: oh my God, Like, who have I become? 1125 00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:44,560 Speaker 5: Like? 1126 00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:48,399 Speaker 3: I was so not myself. And I remember one day, 1127 00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:51,719 Speaker 3: one Sunday, I was at church and I went to 1128 00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:55,520 Speaker 3: the altar and I said, Lord, please like take this 1129 00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:58,359 Speaker 3: off me. I don't ever want to feel like this again. 1130 00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:01,279 Speaker 3: I don't know what this is. It's not me, though, 1131 00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,520 Speaker 3: and I said, you know, take it away. I don't 1132 00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:06,600 Speaker 3: ever want to have a heart this hard again. I 1133 00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:08,840 Speaker 3: never want to feel this. I never want to experience this. 1134 00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:11,160 Speaker 3: And it felt I just bust out crying on an 1135 00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,960 Speaker 3: altar and it literally felt like a weight like lifted 1136 00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:17,400 Speaker 3: off me. And when I came off the altar, I 1137 00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,960 Speaker 3: felt like myself again, and I was I was soft, 1138 00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:25,680 Speaker 3: and I was loving. And to this day, it's very 1139 00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:27,600 Speaker 3: hard for me to get mad, Like I don't want 1140 00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:29,279 Speaker 3: to get mad at people. I don't want to get 1141 00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:31,719 Speaker 3: mad at situations, you know what I'm saying, Because I 1142 00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:34,640 Speaker 3: feel like anger sometimes help people, like help push people 1143 00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:36,840 Speaker 3: through stuff. Like my friends like, girl, you got it. 1144 00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:39,160 Speaker 3: You don't get mad enough. You gotta get mad and 1145 00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:41,040 Speaker 3: do this. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to do it. 1146 00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:44,160 Speaker 3: And I just can't. I think God took that very 1147 00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:48,640 Speaker 3: literal and I can't. I can barely even find anger 1148 00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:53,800 Speaker 3: in my heart. So my heart is so soft. So 1149 00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:55,880 Speaker 3: even like when I'm in a situation where I'm like 1150 00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:58,040 Speaker 3: hurting and I feel like I want to be upset, 1151 00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:02,640 Speaker 3: it doesn't last. I'm just I'm a softy, and I'm like, okay, fine, 1152 00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:09,120 Speaker 3: you know, and I'm grateful for it, but yeah, that 1153 00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:11,759 Speaker 3: is not something I ever want to experience again, having 1154 00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:12,399 Speaker 3: a hard and heart. 1155 00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:16,320 Speaker 1: How did that end with the gentleman that you recently dated. 1156 00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:20,280 Speaker 1: Was it a healthy conversation that ended it or your 1157 00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:21,080 Speaker 1: face looking. 1158 00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:32,560 Speaker 4: Like, well, you know, I wouldn't. It's me promised, Lord, 1159 00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:33,760 Speaker 4: I'm the problem is me. 1160 00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:37,640 Speaker 3: We kind of go We were kind of going back 1161 00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:40,840 Speaker 3: and forth. Okay, we would say like, let's be done 1162 00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:44,840 Speaker 3: with this, and then like either he would come back around, 1163 00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:48,200 Speaker 3: you know, we couldn't. We kept breaking no contacts. I 1164 00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:49,960 Speaker 3: think he was the one to like finding leg put 1165 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:54,160 Speaker 3: his foot down like I'm done. We gotta and I 1166 00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:58,560 Speaker 3: was like, wait, hold on, I'm not ready. Time out 1167 00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:04,480 Speaker 3: and I wasn't ready, And so I think that I 1168 00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:07,000 Speaker 3: can't say. I think I was the one that kept 1169 00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:08,440 Speaker 3: kind of like trying to. 1170 00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:09,520 Speaker 2: Keep the door open. 1171 00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:16,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because that was the first situation outside of 1172 00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:20,040 Speaker 3: my marriage, and it was he showed me a lot 1173 00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:25,439 Speaker 3: of healthy love and attention and affection. So after being 1174 00:58:25,520 --> 00:58:29,400 Speaker 3: deprived of that for so many years, and he gave 1175 00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:32,680 Speaker 3: me like this huge sense of safety and safety is 1176 00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:35,800 Speaker 3: something that I felt like I have not had in 1177 00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:40,280 Speaker 3: a long time, maybe sometimes for my whole life. I 1178 00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:41,880 Speaker 3: feel like there were a lot of moments that I 1179 00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:45,479 Speaker 3: just wasn't I didn't feel safe, and so he gave 1180 00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:48,880 Speaker 3: that to me. So to kind of let it go 1181 00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:52,360 Speaker 3: was very hard because I'm like, wait a minute, like 1182 00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:57,880 Speaker 3: I finally, after all this time, feel these things, you 1183 00:58:57,960 --> 00:59:00,800 Speaker 3: know what I'm saying, Even if we're supposed to, even 1184 00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,640 Speaker 3: if God was saying like let's let this go, it 1185 00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:05,000 Speaker 3: was just it was tough. 1186 00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:06,640 Speaker 2: So why didn't it work? 1187 00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:12,200 Speaker 3: We're just not on the same page right now, like 1188 00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:14,560 Speaker 3: we just we don't align. 1189 00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:16,520 Speaker 2: Is it a spiritual thing? 1190 00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:18,480 Speaker 3: Part of it? 1191 00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:21,120 Speaker 2: So part of is spiritual, But then you're just saying, 1192 00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:23,520 Speaker 2: y'all just don't align in some key areas. 1193 00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:31,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, so spiritually, you know, he grew up in the church, 1194 00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:35,360 Speaker 3: but he's just not somebody that attends church on a 1195 00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:38,880 Speaker 3: regular or his views kind of changed around the church. 1196 00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:40,680 Speaker 3: But I think a lot of people in our generation, 1197 00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:46,560 Speaker 3: you know, have have different views about the church. So 1198 00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:50,160 Speaker 3: I was already struggling with that because that just wasn't 1199 00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:55,720 Speaker 3: equally oak spiritually, right, And then just kind of like 1200 00:59:55,840 --> 01:00:01,080 Speaker 3: our lifestyle, you know, He's kind of an entertain you know, 1201 01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:03,320 Speaker 3: and that's something that I said. I didn't really want 1202 01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:10,280 Speaker 3: to date again, and I did it anyway, you know 1203 01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:12,160 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. But he was so great. I was 1204 01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,320 Speaker 3: trying to find all these ways around it. I'm like, 1205 01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:16,320 Speaker 3: but god, you. 1206 01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:20,440 Speaker 2: Can call him up your name. 1207 01:00:21,560 --> 01:00:24,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, So I tried to navigate my way around. I 1208 01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:27,120 Speaker 3: was trying to make it work. I was trying, but 1209 01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:29,000 Speaker 3: you know it. 1210 01:00:29,200 --> 01:00:33,720 Speaker 2: Just let me ask you this. With that. 1211 01:00:35,640 --> 01:00:39,480 Speaker 1: Working for the time that it worked, would you have 1212 01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:41,920 Speaker 1: been willing to how long would it have taken you? 1213 01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:44,720 Speaker 1: Let's say, if all things were right, I'm talking about 1214 01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:47,960 Speaker 1: y'all are equally experiencedly. You already said keywords like you 1215 01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:50,640 Speaker 1: felt safe. You never felt safe with people like that, 1216 01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:54,440 Speaker 1: and you know, very intermittently, even like you said, you 1217 01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:58,120 Speaker 1: never even felt that safe for somebody. How long would 1218 01:00:58,160 --> 01:01:02,280 Speaker 1: you have waited if his intention was to marry you? 1219 01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:06,320 Speaker 1: Would you have gotten married the same year that you 1220 01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:07,000 Speaker 1: got divorced? 1221 01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:13,520 Speaker 3: Yeah? Oh yeah to him? Now come get me. I 1222 01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:23,480 Speaker 3: still do it, Laura. I'm trying, but i'ma be honest 1223 01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:27,200 Speaker 3: that Laura knows. I like, Laura, I'm gonna catch you 1224 01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:30,440 Speaker 3: next year, right, now I'm gonna do what I want. 1225 01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:35,520 Speaker 3: And we've had those conversations me and God. 1226 01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:40,240 Speaker 2: He said, help me out, God, help me out. Next year, 1227 01:01:40,840 --> 01:01:42,040 Speaker 2: so you're have married him this year? 1228 01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:45,080 Speaker 3: He got that stuff? 1229 01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:48,480 Speaker 2: I like, what stuff you got? It? 1230 01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:48,840 Speaker 5: You like? 1231 01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:54,040 Speaker 3: It's just like I said, he's he was so emotionally mature, 1232 01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:57,080 Speaker 3: like it was just all the things. I'm like, like 1233 01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:59,240 Speaker 3: his character, like it's just every day. 1234 01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:00,360 Speaker 2: Has he ever been married before? 1235 01:02:00,920 --> 01:02:04,280 Speaker 3: Now? Does he want to get married? Yeah? 1236 01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:07,360 Speaker 2: Now I don't know. You may be making that answer 1237 01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:07,920 Speaker 2: up for him. 1238 01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:11,240 Speaker 3: Well, you know, I don't know. We talked about it 1239 01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:11,800 Speaker 3: for us. 1240 01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:15,360 Speaker 2: So he said, when y'all having conversations, he talked about 1241 01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:15,840 Speaker 2: marrying you. 1242 01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:18,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, we did, and then. 1243 01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:20,760 Speaker 2: He just let it go. 1244 01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:26,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, but if it's not gonna work, it's not gonna work. 1245 01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:33,720 Speaker 3: Like I think he had, you know, his reservations because 1246 01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:37,280 Speaker 3: he knows when we first started talking, we were just 1247 01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:40,160 Speaker 3: talking as friends. So he knew a lot of my 1248 01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:42,720 Speaker 3: like deal breakers and boundaries, Like he knew that a 1249 01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:46,320 Speaker 3: deal breaker was nobody in an entertainment business. He knew 1250 01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:50,800 Speaker 3: that a deal breaker was somebody I wasn't equally ooked with. 1251 01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:55,760 Speaker 3: So I think that you know, there is, and rightfully 1252 01:02:55,880 --> 01:02:58,080 Speaker 3: so a fear that set in with him, like are 1253 01:02:58,160 --> 01:03:00,480 Speaker 3: you gonna one day wake up and be like, actually, 1254 01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:03,280 Speaker 3: it's the wrong decision. This was the wrong decision. You 1255 01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:08,280 Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. He's invested emotionally or married or whatever. 1256 01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:08,640 Speaker 2: The case may be. 1257 01:03:10,160 --> 01:03:12,760 Speaker 3: And then you know his heart is broken. So I 1258 01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:15,840 Speaker 3: feel like that's a that's a real legitimate. 1259 01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:17,240 Speaker 2: Concern, very legitimate concern. 1260 01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:20,200 Speaker 3: Absolutely, so I couldn't fault him for that. 1261 01:03:21,080 --> 01:03:24,600 Speaker 1: So he basically saved you from yourself. He basically said, listen, 1262 01:03:24,720 --> 01:03:26,920 Speaker 1: this ain't what you really want. This ain't what you 1263 01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:27,400 Speaker 1: really want. 1264 01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:28,640 Speaker 3: It is what I want. 1265 01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:33,720 Speaker 2: What do you mean, but this ain't what you really did, 1266 01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:37,680 Speaker 2: what you really do? He said, No, let's be clear, 1267 01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:39,520 Speaker 2: this is what I want. I promise you, God, no, 1268 01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:40,160 Speaker 2: promise you. 1269 01:03:41,480 --> 01:03:42,080 Speaker 3: Not a question. 1270 01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:47,920 Speaker 2: And so he accepted your kids. He was the type 1271 01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:49,479 Speaker 2: of guy that say, your kids are my kids. 1272 01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:51,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, did you get a chance. 1273 01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:51,840 Speaker 2: To meet them? 1274 01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:55,800 Speaker 3: No, we didn't. We weren't in the same city, same state, 1275 01:03:57,320 --> 01:03:59,880 Speaker 3: you know. But he was involved in his own way, 1276 01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:04,160 Speaker 3: you know, behind the scenes with things, conversations about the kids, 1277 01:04:04,360 --> 01:04:07,480 Speaker 3: and you know, he's a parent, so he gave me 1278 01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:10,040 Speaker 3: a lot of parents and advice. He's a girl dad. 1279 01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:13,200 Speaker 3: So yeah, so you. 1280 01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:16,560 Speaker 1: Really like him. So let me ask you this, Christina. 1281 01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:22,760 Speaker 1: Do you think it'll be a challenge for the next 1282 01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:27,720 Speaker 1: guy to come confiscate your heart from this last guy? 1283 01:04:28,880 --> 01:04:34,080 Speaker 3: Ooh, while you asked me that question. 1284 01:04:34,200 --> 01:04:35,520 Speaker 2: Oh, it's a powerful question. 1285 01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:37,160 Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you this because I always ask a 1286 01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:40,280 Speaker 1: woman when I start dating them, and when it's somebody 1287 01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:43,600 Speaker 1: that I'm really really interested in, I'll ask you, is 1288 01:04:43,640 --> 01:04:46,320 Speaker 1: there anybody else that could come back around? No matter 1289 01:04:46,400 --> 01:04:49,880 Speaker 1: what stage we are in a relationship, and they can say, hey, listen, 1290 01:04:50,160 --> 01:04:53,280 Speaker 1: I want you now whatever happened in the past. Have 1291 01:04:53,400 --> 01:04:56,240 Speaker 1: you had any type of vows made with a guy 1292 01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,880 Speaker 1: in the past that said that, you know, give us 1293 01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:02,040 Speaker 1: five years, gonna get married in five years, give us this, 1294 01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:04,479 Speaker 1: and if you give whatever, that vow has been made 1295 01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:06,640 Speaker 1: that if they get this together, if you ever moved 1296 01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:09,840 Speaker 1: to my city, were gonna we're gonna be together. And 1297 01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:12,640 Speaker 1: so some has fate would have it one day that 1298 01:05:12,760 --> 01:05:14,720 Speaker 1: that person moved to the city and they say, guess what, 1299 01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:17,360 Speaker 1: I just got a contract. I live here now, and 1300 01:05:17,440 --> 01:05:20,600 Speaker 1: I'm sitting up that walking around happy. And the next 1301 01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:23,160 Speaker 1: day I know that woman stops and says of the terraces. 1302 01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:24,880 Speaker 1: So I should have told you this. It was a 1303 01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:27,000 Speaker 1: guy eight years ago, and this is the love of 1304 01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:28,760 Speaker 1: my life, and I just didn't think it was gonna 1305 01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:31,320 Speaker 1: ever happen with this person. And now they're here, and 1306 01:05:31,400 --> 01:05:33,600 Speaker 1: now I'm sitting up here taking a huge l So 1307 01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:36,600 Speaker 1: my question to you is that you have emphatically talked 1308 01:05:36,640 --> 01:05:39,440 Speaker 1: about and as a man, I can hear the level 1309 01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:43,080 Speaker 1: of connection that this man has with your heart and 1310 01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:48,280 Speaker 1: your mind. Do you think that it will be an 1311 01:05:48,520 --> 01:05:52,400 Speaker 1: uphill battle for another guy to get to earn the 1312 01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:55,240 Speaker 1: space that the other guy has taken up residence in 1313 01:05:55,280 --> 01:05:55,760 Speaker 1: your heart. 1314 01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:58,480 Speaker 3: And mind right now? Yes, And so that's why I'm 1315 01:05:58,520 --> 01:05:58,960 Speaker 3: not dating. 1316 01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:00,520 Speaker 2: So you're awayaing for what. 1317 01:06:01,800 --> 01:06:04,400 Speaker 1: Are you not dating because you're still hopeful for that 1318 01:06:04,560 --> 01:06:07,600 Speaker 1: situation or are you not dating because you want to 1319 01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:10,840 Speaker 1: give yourself time to heal so that you cannot damage 1320 01:06:10,920 --> 01:06:13,200 Speaker 1: God's son if God presented him to you. 1321 01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:18,920 Speaker 3: The latter I want to. I don't want to. I 1322 01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:21,720 Speaker 3: don't ever want to bring that into somebody else's life, 1323 01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:23,440 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. And I want to give 1324 01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:27,360 Speaker 3: somebody a fair chance. I don't think it would be 1325 01:06:27,440 --> 01:06:31,640 Speaker 3: fair for myself or the next person, if you know 1326 01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:33,840 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. I opened myself up or he opened 1327 01:06:33,920 --> 01:06:37,480 Speaker 3: himself up to me, and my heart is elsewhere where, 1328 01:06:37,480 --> 01:06:40,040 Speaker 3: my mind is elsewhere. I wouldn't do that. So no, 1329 01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:43,760 Speaker 3: because I did have a date set up and I 1330 01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:47,360 Speaker 3: ain't go because I was like, well I still you know, 1331 01:06:48,000 --> 01:06:51,400 Speaker 3: I was like, I'm not doing that, so you know, 1332 01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:53,360 Speaker 3: and I think the other thing that saves me is 1333 01:06:53,440 --> 01:06:57,320 Speaker 3: I don't spend the block, so I'm never going to 1334 01:06:57,360 --> 01:06:59,680 Speaker 3: be with somebody and somebody tries to come back around 1335 01:06:59,680 --> 01:07:02,440 Speaker 3: and I'm like, uh, he came back, I'm out of here. 1336 01:07:02,960 --> 01:07:04,959 Speaker 3: It's never gonna happen because I don't spend the block. 1337 01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:06,520 Speaker 2: What do you call it spind the block? When you 1338 01:07:06,640 --> 01:07:08,320 Speaker 2: just said a minute ago that he could. 1339 01:07:08,120 --> 01:07:12,680 Speaker 3: Still have you right now, would that be spending the block? 1340 01:07:13,440 --> 01:07:15,640 Speaker 3: I wouldn't say so yet because. 1341 01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:17,400 Speaker 5: It has. 1342 01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:21,760 Speaker 2: Kind of ain't no kind of you said, he put 1343 01:07:21,800 --> 01:07:23,440 Speaker 2: his foot down and told you straight up. But we 1344 01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:24,920 Speaker 2: can't keep communicating. 1345 01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:30,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know sometimes we still do. But listen, 1346 01:07:31,880 --> 01:07:35,440 Speaker 3: I'm not saying it's like it's not all in, but 1347 01:07:35,560 --> 01:07:38,080 Speaker 3: it's still like the door is kind of still open. 1348 01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:40,840 Speaker 3: I don't think either one of us have really completely 1349 01:07:41,240 --> 01:07:44,520 Speaker 3: shut the door. I think both of us have the 1350 01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:48,600 Speaker 3: idea of moving on. But the door, to be honest, 1351 01:07:48,640 --> 01:07:51,720 Speaker 3: the door is probably not there's probably a crack in 1352 01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:52,120 Speaker 3: the door. 1353 01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:55,439 Speaker 1: Come back, fool, if he can come back, if he's sold. 1354 01:07:55,480 --> 01:07:57,920 Speaker 1: You're telling me right now, with even the conversations that 1355 01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:02,320 Speaker 1: you had with him as friends, these are your non negotiables. 1356 01:08:02,720 --> 01:08:04,720 Speaker 1: Can't be niccally, yo, don't want to build somebody in 1357 01:08:04,720 --> 01:08:06,760 Speaker 1: the entertainment industry. That was too What was the third 1358 01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:15,560 Speaker 1: one or is there a third one? There was several, 1359 01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:20,840 Speaker 1: all right, Regardless of the several non negotiables, you said 1360 01:08:20,880 --> 01:08:22,439 Speaker 1: that you would marry him right now. 1361 01:08:27,840 --> 01:08:30,920 Speaker 3: That's my desire. What are for real? 1362 01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:31,559 Speaker 2: Yes? 1363 01:08:31,760 --> 01:08:32,120 Speaker 3: Right now? 1364 01:08:32,400 --> 01:08:35,800 Speaker 2: Yes, you think I would absolutely you die because you're 1365 01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:38,800 Speaker 2: very calculated with what you say, meaning that you don't 1366 01:08:38,840 --> 01:08:41,519 Speaker 2: say nothing that you don't mean. That's why you. 1367 01:08:41,600 --> 01:08:45,719 Speaker 1: Even repurposed the title of your ex husband. So I'll 1368 01:08:45,720 --> 01:08:47,840 Speaker 1: tell you, I listened real well when someone says something. 1369 01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:50,360 Speaker 1: So the fact that you're saying this knowing that he 1370 01:08:50,560 --> 01:08:51,160 Speaker 1: will hear. 1371 01:08:51,200 --> 01:08:55,040 Speaker 2: This, he got asked. 1372 01:08:57,560 --> 01:09:02,000 Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, if I could have in my way 1373 01:09:02,479 --> 01:09:06,680 Speaker 3: and things were, and we were both aligned. Both of us. 1374 01:09:06,680 --> 01:09:08,760 Speaker 1: Ain't talking about if they lied. I'm talking about as 1375 01:09:08,840 --> 01:09:16,040 Speaker 1: it stands right right now? Would I Yes, I'm talking 1376 01:09:16,040 --> 01:09:19,479 Speaker 1: about he comes to you, he watches this interview. Listen 1377 01:09:20,439 --> 01:09:23,360 Speaker 1: watching that interview. I never knew you felt this deeply 1378 01:09:23,439 --> 01:09:23,840 Speaker 1: about me. 1379 01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:25,400 Speaker 2: I love you. 1380 01:09:26,479 --> 01:09:29,200 Speaker 1: Here's a ring on his knee and talk to your daddy. 1381 01:09:29,240 --> 01:09:36,600 Speaker 1: Will you marry me? What's the answer? Look at your 1382 01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:38,719 Speaker 1: friend over and look at it. She wait, she waits, 1383 01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:40,639 Speaker 1: She don't put her hair behind the ear. 1384 01:09:41,280 --> 01:09:49,160 Speaker 3: Oh my god, yikes. I mean like we would have 1385 01:09:49,320 --> 01:09:51,280 Speaker 3: to have some really tough conversations. 1386 01:09:51,640 --> 01:09:52,280 Speaker 2: What's the answer. 1387 01:09:53,200 --> 01:10:02,200 Speaker 3: God, I don't really know. I feel like we honestly, 1388 01:10:02,479 --> 01:10:04,839 Speaker 3: I just feel like we would have to have some conversay. 1389 01:10:04,880 --> 01:10:06,519 Speaker 2: He's on his knee right now. That's what you're gonna say. 1390 01:10:07,200 --> 01:10:08,760 Speaker 2: Let's have some conversations. 1391 01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:12,200 Speaker 3: Let's talk about it, because yes, like my desire is 1392 01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:16,000 Speaker 3: the desire to. It wouldn't be because I wouldn't desire 1393 01:10:16,080 --> 01:10:18,080 Speaker 3: to or I want to answer. 1394 01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:21,519 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's on his knee right now. He's waiting on you. 1395 01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:23,960 Speaker 2: He got his family friend sitting up there, waiting on 1396 01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:24,759 Speaker 2: you to give an answer. 1397 01:10:28,960 --> 01:10:29,760 Speaker 3: Why are you doing this? 1398 01:10:29,880 --> 01:10:32,679 Speaker 1: To me, because I want you to start this inner work, 1399 01:10:32,840 --> 01:10:36,800 Speaker 1: this inner healing with this because sometimes when we start 1400 01:10:36,920 --> 01:10:39,719 Speaker 1: creating these things in our mind, the Bible says casting 1401 01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:44,240 Speaker 1: down imaginations, meaning that if I've imagined myself with this person, 1402 01:10:44,320 --> 01:10:47,920 Speaker 1: it's going to be extremely difficult for God to bring 1403 01:10:48,280 --> 01:10:50,800 Speaker 1: his best because he gotta remember. Have you ever saw 1404 01:10:50,880 --> 01:10:52,920 Speaker 1: that meme where you see this little girl and you 1405 01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:55,439 Speaker 1: see Jesus and she has this little teddy bear and 1406 01:10:55,520 --> 01:10:57,720 Speaker 1: Jesus has this big teddy bear behind his back and 1407 01:10:57,800 --> 01:10:59,320 Speaker 1: he says, give me your teddy bear, and the daughter 1408 01:10:59,439 --> 01:11:01,719 Speaker 1: the little girl like no, but he has something bigger 1409 01:11:01,760 --> 01:11:04,479 Speaker 1: in store. Well, that's what happens so many times in 1410 01:11:04,640 --> 01:11:09,560 Speaker 1: our dating experiences. And you literally pointed out why this 1411 01:11:09,720 --> 01:11:11,720 Speaker 1: doesn't work with the other God. You can sit there 1412 01:11:11,760 --> 01:11:14,120 Speaker 1: and say, oh, it's amazing, it's great, all of this, 1413 01:11:14,840 --> 01:11:17,600 Speaker 1: But I know in my soul and my spirit, in 1414 01:11:17,760 --> 01:11:21,920 Speaker 1: my God relationship, that we don't work. That's why it 1415 01:11:22,000 --> 01:11:25,760 Speaker 1: hasn't worked. But in my mind, oh, I still want it. 1416 01:11:26,280 --> 01:11:29,680 Speaker 1: How do we transition our wants to God's needs for 1417 01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:33,680 Speaker 1: us and then start transferring. 1418 01:11:33,160 --> 01:11:36,160 Speaker 2: The desires of our heart for what God desires for us. 1419 01:11:36,680 --> 01:11:40,040 Speaker 1: That's the tension, Because what happens is is if however 1420 01:11:40,200 --> 01:11:43,800 Speaker 1: long that process takes, that's how long we hold back 1421 01:11:43,840 --> 01:11:45,559 Speaker 1: the handle God from meeting the people that we really 1422 01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:48,479 Speaker 1: supposed to be with. You're even smart enough to say 1423 01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:50,800 Speaker 1: that you said I want this is what you said. 1424 01:11:50,880 --> 01:11:54,479 Speaker 1: Christina says, I won't even allow myself to date somebody 1425 01:11:54,600 --> 01:11:59,760 Speaker 1: because I know I will damage that person. So God says, well, hey, 1426 01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:01,720 Speaker 1: if you as men know how to give good gifts 1427 01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:04,320 Speaker 1: your sons and fathers, your sons and daughters, what more 1428 01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:06,519 Speaker 1: as me, as your heavenly father, will be able to 1429 01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:08,280 Speaker 1: give you. So he says, well, I'm sure not going 1430 01:12:08,320 --> 01:12:10,519 Speaker 1: to introduce you to your purpose partner, to your husband, 1431 01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:12,840 Speaker 1: because I don't want you damaging them. So he says, back, 1432 01:12:12,880 --> 01:12:14,680 Speaker 1: and wait till you go through the healing. And so 1433 01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:17,240 Speaker 1: the reality is you're wise enough to know that my 1434 01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:20,519 Speaker 1: thing is. Now what happens if he puts a full 1435 01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:23,600 Speaker 1: court press on you and says, listen, I want to 1436 01:12:23,640 --> 01:12:25,880 Speaker 1: marry you. I went through this whole year without you 1437 01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:28,439 Speaker 1: at this point and towards the end of this year, 1438 01:12:28,520 --> 01:12:30,280 Speaker 1: and it's like, I want my twenty twenty six. 1439 01:12:30,200 --> 01:12:33,519 Speaker 2: To look different. I want to spend my life with you. 1440 01:12:33,920 --> 01:12:36,320 Speaker 1: I realize that through all these years, I've never been 1441 01:12:36,360 --> 01:12:40,439 Speaker 1: married before, and I realized that this is why I haven't, 1442 01:12:40,479 --> 01:12:42,680 Speaker 1: because it was you all alone. I just need you 1443 01:12:42,760 --> 01:12:44,479 Speaker 1: to accept me, flaws and all this who I am 1444 01:12:44,720 --> 01:12:46,880 Speaker 1: one thing as friendships, you know who I am. I 1445 01:12:46,920 --> 01:12:48,600 Speaker 1: ain't trying to lie to you. I'm not going to 1446 01:12:48,680 --> 01:12:50,320 Speaker 1: try to cover up and be like, oh, I'm gonna 1447 01:12:50,320 --> 01:12:52,400 Speaker 1: act like I'm holier than that. I'm not going to pretend. 1448 01:12:52,760 --> 01:12:54,800 Speaker 1: One thing I like about you, Christine is because me 1449 01:12:54,880 --> 01:12:56,800 Speaker 1: as a man, I can show you who I am 1450 01:12:57,200 --> 01:12:59,519 Speaker 1: and you still accept me. But for whatever reason, you 1451 01:12:59,560 --> 01:13:02,600 Speaker 1: can't help me ultimately as your husband. At Least you 1452 01:13:02,680 --> 01:13:04,080 Speaker 1: know I ain't gonna lie to you. At least you 1453 01:13:04,160 --> 01:13:05,760 Speaker 1: know it ain't gonna pull the whool of your eyes. 1454 01:13:05,840 --> 01:13:06,240 Speaker 5: This is me. 1455 01:13:06,400 --> 01:13:07,800 Speaker 2: Can you accept me because I accept you? 1456 01:13:09,640 --> 01:13:11,680 Speaker 3: Can I give you a sigh birol quick because this 1457 01:13:11,840 --> 01:13:14,559 Speaker 3: is bringing something else up that I've been dealing with. Okay, 1458 01:13:15,680 --> 01:13:27,040 Speaker 3: so it's all gonna tie together. I grew up feeling 1459 01:13:27,280 --> 01:13:35,800 Speaker 3: like churchmen were not safe fair enough, and that is 1460 01:13:35,880 --> 01:13:41,960 Speaker 3: something that my therapist and I like, he helped me 1461 01:13:42,160 --> 01:13:44,200 Speaker 3: like bring that thing up. But I was like, oh, 1462 01:13:44,240 --> 01:13:49,280 Speaker 3: my God like stemming from a child churchman. And I 1463 01:13:49,360 --> 01:13:53,040 Speaker 3: looked back, I've never dated a man of God. No, 1464 01:13:55,200 --> 01:13:58,840 Speaker 3: I'm like, mm hmmm, you know, And it's because I've 1465 01:13:58,960 --> 01:14:03,720 Speaker 3: never really deemed them safe. So what I struggle with 1466 01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:10,880 Speaker 3: recently is knowing that the two men that I ever 1467 01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:15,240 Speaker 3: had like the best relationships and best encounters with were 1468 01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:22,760 Speaker 3: not men in the church. And I'm like they they 1469 01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:28,040 Speaker 3: have been like the perfect boyfriends, the perfect men. Like 1470 01:14:29,160 --> 01:14:33,600 Speaker 3: it's just so healthy, and I was so confused, and 1471 01:14:33,680 --> 01:14:37,840 Speaker 3: I'm like the first so the first guy that I 1472 01:14:37,960 --> 01:14:41,720 Speaker 3: left alone before I got married was because of that, 1473 01:14:41,920 --> 01:14:43,200 Speaker 3: Like he wasn't in a church. I'm like, he's never 1474 01:14:43,240 --> 01:14:44,600 Speaker 3: going to be in a church. Like this is not 1475 01:14:44,720 --> 01:14:47,160 Speaker 3: gonna happen. It's not realistic. Like I need to break 1476 01:14:47,240 --> 01:14:49,280 Speaker 3: up with him because he's not like this full blown 1477 01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:53,960 Speaker 3: Christian man. And then I leave him and I get 1478 01:14:54,080 --> 01:14:57,040 Speaker 3: married and I'm in this fourteen year marriage with this 1479 01:14:57,240 --> 01:15:02,880 Speaker 3: person that is the c man and I have like 1480 01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:07,360 Speaker 3: this tumultuous marriage. I mean not all the time, wasn't tumultuous, 1481 01:15:07,360 --> 01:15:09,360 Speaker 3: but you get what I'm saying. Yeah, And so I'm like, 1482 01:15:09,560 --> 01:15:13,240 Speaker 3: I leave this person and I get the church one 1483 01:15:14,120 --> 01:15:17,479 Speaker 3: and it's like a mess. I come out of it 1484 01:15:18,320 --> 01:15:21,519 Speaker 3: and here's this other guy and it's kind of like 1485 01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:28,160 Speaker 3: the same thing, the best, healthy, all the things, but 1486 01:15:28,280 --> 01:15:30,720 Speaker 3: he just it's that one thing. And so. 1487 01:15:32,880 --> 01:15:34,559 Speaker 2: That's not one thing because I asked, you say, it's 1488 01:15:34,560 --> 01:15:35,160 Speaker 2: a lot of things. 1489 01:15:36,720 --> 01:15:39,200 Speaker 3: Well, a lot of things that I have as boundaries 1490 01:15:39,280 --> 01:15:42,679 Speaker 3: and deal breakers. He didn't check all of those. Those 1491 01:15:42,680 --> 01:15:46,840 Speaker 3: were the two that he checked. But yeah, so I've 1492 01:15:46,840 --> 01:15:52,639 Speaker 3: been I've struggled with that, Like, Lord, why cause, okay, 1493 01:15:53,360 --> 01:15:58,880 Speaker 3: I try. I talked to somebody of faith for a 1494 01:15:58,920 --> 01:16:02,000 Speaker 3: couple of weeks on the phone just to kind of 1495 01:16:02,120 --> 01:16:08,040 Speaker 3: ask friends, just to kind of see mm hmmm, I said, 1496 01:16:08,320 --> 01:16:14,640 Speaker 3: see this is why absolutely no, no. 1497 01:16:15,920 --> 01:16:18,559 Speaker 2: Why what was it you saw? In those two weeks? 1498 01:16:20,880 --> 01:16:24,839 Speaker 3: It was he was cool, like again we were friends, 1499 01:16:24,960 --> 01:16:27,920 Speaker 3: like we were being friends, real cool. But he said 1500 01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:32,680 Speaker 3: something to me one day and I was like, absolutely 1501 01:16:32,760 --> 01:16:34,920 Speaker 3: not what. I don't want to talk about it. 1502 01:16:35,040 --> 01:16:36,519 Speaker 2: Don't talk about you know, brought it out here. I 1503 01:16:36,600 --> 01:16:37,559 Speaker 2: want to I want to hear what. 1504 01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:39,559 Speaker 3: These day the streets sounds he might be watching. 1505 01:16:39,680 --> 01:16:44,000 Speaker 2: Then I don't care hit dog holler, so nobody won't know. 1506 01:16:44,720 --> 01:16:45,439 Speaker 2: He know what he said? 1507 01:16:46,560 --> 01:16:48,920 Speaker 3: You ain't saying his name like he was trying to 1508 01:16:49,000 --> 01:16:49,800 Speaker 3: proposition me. 1509 01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:52,400 Speaker 2: What he just said, he want to have sex with you, 1510 01:16:52,720 --> 01:16:54,120 Speaker 2: No proposition with you. 1511 01:16:54,439 --> 01:16:58,519 Speaker 3: He was like, you know, he wanted to take me 1512 01:16:59,120 --> 01:17:02,080 Speaker 3: out of town for a date. Cool, I don't like 1513 01:17:02,160 --> 01:17:05,760 Speaker 3: the date in my city. Blah blahlah. Okay, maybe one day, 1514 01:17:07,680 --> 01:17:09,360 Speaker 3: he's like, but you know, just to warn you you 1515 01:17:09,479 --> 01:17:12,439 Speaker 3: might fall in love, because you know, I'm just whatever 1516 01:17:12,479 --> 01:17:16,880 Speaker 3: he was saying about himself. I'm like, okay and so okay, 1517 01:17:17,439 --> 01:17:22,880 Speaker 3: and so he's like, I know you like nice things, 1518 01:17:23,000 --> 01:17:25,960 Speaker 3: he says, So you know, when we get together and 1519 01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:29,000 Speaker 3: you start, you know, feeling like you want to risk 1520 01:17:29,080 --> 01:17:32,920 Speaker 3: it all, I'll take you shopping the next day to 1521 01:17:32,960 --> 01:17:33,840 Speaker 3: get you whatever you want. 1522 01:17:34,479 --> 01:17:36,320 Speaker 2: He said, basically, if you get me some, I'm taking 1523 01:17:36,320 --> 01:17:36,639 Speaker 2: the sting. 1524 01:17:36,760 --> 01:17:44,640 Speaker 3: Yes. And I never spoke to him again. So I 1525 01:17:44,800 --> 01:17:47,320 Speaker 3: was just like, to me, it was like this proved, 1526 01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:50,960 Speaker 3: and maybe I shouldn't let that one person proved. 1527 01:17:51,920 --> 01:17:54,320 Speaker 1: So the other guy said that the guy that you 1528 01:17:55,600 --> 01:17:57,760 Speaker 1: are head over heels about. I'm gonna call it what 1529 01:17:57,880 --> 01:18:00,360 Speaker 1: it is. If he said that would have that level? Wait, 1530 01:18:02,880 --> 01:18:05,000 Speaker 1: or is it because you have an expectation because the 1531 01:18:05,080 --> 01:18:09,160 Speaker 1: other one is carrying the title of Christian, that you 1532 01:18:09,320 --> 01:18:12,400 Speaker 1: have a higher standard, as it should be than somebody 1533 01:18:12,479 --> 01:18:13,799 Speaker 1: else that isn't professional. 1534 01:18:13,840 --> 01:18:19,439 Speaker 3: I definitely have a higher standard. Yeah, so it is 1535 01:18:19,520 --> 01:18:25,120 Speaker 3: the expectation. But also that's the thing. He would never 1536 01:18:25,560 --> 01:18:29,000 Speaker 3: speak to me like that. That's not how he handled me. 1537 01:18:31,439 --> 01:18:34,760 Speaker 3: So the person that's not in the church is the 1538 01:18:34,840 --> 01:18:41,519 Speaker 3: one again that makes me feel the most safe. And 1539 01:18:41,640 --> 01:18:45,160 Speaker 3: so that's something that I literally have been like battling with. 1540 01:18:48,160 --> 01:18:49,840 Speaker 3: So when you say, like, what would you do in 1541 01:18:49,920 --> 01:18:53,640 Speaker 3: that moment, I don't know, because that's a struggle. Like 1542 01:18:53,680 --> 01:18:54,920 Speaker 3: that's why I said, I would like want to have 1543 01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:55,640 Speaker 3: a conversation. 1544 01:18:56,280 --> 01:18:57,280 Speaker 2: What would a conversation be. 1545 01:18:59,680 --> 01:19:03,080 Speaker 3: Well, you know, we've had some little trying moments. 1546 01:19:02,880 --> 01:19:06,400 Speaker 2: Of this conversation, but he's on his knee at this point. 1547 01:19:06,680 --> 01:19:10,360 Speaker 3: I would say, I think we would have to like 1548 01:19:10,439 --> 01:19:15,519 Speaker 3: really have an understanding of what it looks like for 1549 01:19:15,720 --> 01:19:16,960 Speaker 3: us spiritually going forward. 1550 01:19:17,680 --> 01:19:20,360 Speaker 2: And he says, listen, you know I was raising church. 1551 01:19:21,280 --> 01:19:23,360 Speaker 2: I'm just not that right now. I don't. 1552 01:19:23,560 --> 01:19:25,040 Speaker 3: I don't know that's exactly what he said to. 1553 01:19:25,080 --> 01:19:30,880 Speaker 1: Me before, because I know the language. I know what 1554 01:19:30,960 --> 01:19:33,640 Speaker 1: dude's gonna say. This is not it's just not me so, 1555 01:19:33,920 --> 01:19:35,639 Speaker 1: but I'm gonna respect you do what you do. I'm 1556 01:19:35,640 --> 01:19:37,280 Speaker 1: not gonna get I'm not gonna interfere with what you do. 1557 01:19:37,880 --> 01:19:40,000 Speaker 3: You sound just like them because I know the language. 1558 01:19:40,880 --> 01:19:43,240 Speaker 2: You go to church, you do what you do. I'm 1559 01:19:43,320 --> 01:19:45,040 Speaker 2: not going to try to change what you do. I 1560 01:19:45,080 --> 01:19:47,360 Speaker 2: actually respect it. Just respect what. 1561 01:19:47,479 --> 01:19:49,040 Speaker 3: I do, and he'll come to church with me. 1562 01:19:49,360 --> 01:19:55,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're a problem with that. I don't know because 1563 01:19:55,120 --> 01:19:57,000 Speaker 1: in your mind what it is. And I'm not even 1564 01:19:57,040 --> 01:20:00,240 Speaker 1: saying you wrong because I'm on your side. I don't 1565 01:20:00,240 --> 01:20:02,679 Speaker 1: accept nothing less for myself because I know what I need. 1566 01:20:03,479 --> 01:20:08,160 Speaker 1: So I'm saying this literally playing say Devil's advocate, I'm 1567 01:20:08,160 --> 01:20:11,080 Speaker 1: playing Jesus advocate because I want you to be rooted 1568 01:20:11,200 --> 01:20:14,000 Speaker 1: and grounded in your faith and your expectation. I don't 1569 01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:16,200 Speaker 1: want you living a life of compromise. 1570 01:20:15,800 --> 01:20:19,040 Speaker 2: Because it looks better, because the truth be told, it 1571 01:20:19,160 --> 01:20:21,719 Speaker 2: can look better, it can feel better, it can sound better, 1572 01:20:22,080 --> 01:20:24,719 Speaker 2: but then you'll always have to face yourself in the mirror. 1573 01:20:25,600 --> 01:20:28,360 Speaker 2: If it don't work out, then you go God, I. 1574 01:20:28,560 --> 01:20:30,840 Speaker 1: Just and then and then you can look at it 1575 01:20:30,880 --> 01:20:32,800 Speaker 1: too and say, well, shoot, I married the Christian man 1576 01:20:33,000 --> 01:20:34,120 Speaker 1: and it didn't work out either. 1577 01:20:34,280 --> 01:20:37,320 Speaker 2: I'm saying, what you know in your soul. See one 1578 01:20:37,320 --> 01:20:37,920 Speaker 2: of the things that. 1579 01:20:38,880 --> 01:20:43,880 Speaker 1: These boundaries that we make up and these none negotiables, 1580 01:20:44,080 --> 01:20:46,240 Speaker 1: that's what we decide to do. I'm gonna tell you this, 1581 01:20:46,400 --> 01:20:49,599 Speaker 1: not be transparent with you, be very transparent. I remember 1582 01:20:49,600 --> 01:20:52,040 Speaker 1: a couple of years ago, I was like, maybe my 1583 01:20:52,160 --> 01:20:54,559 Speaker 1: expectation is too high. I want no woman of God. 1584 01:20:54,680 --> 01:20:56,640 Speaker 1: These women for the streets these days, why would I 1585 01:20:56,760 --> 01:20:58,840 Speaker 1: You know what is that? Maybe I don't let me 1586 01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:02,120 Speaker 1: just lower my stand. Maybe I can build a bear. 1587 01:21:02,720 --> 01:21:05,040 Speaker 1: Maybe I can get a woman and get her saved. 1588 01:21:05,120 --> 01:21:07,479 Speaker 1: Maybe I can get the type of woman that's real 1589 01:21:07,600 --> 01:21:09,439 Speaker 1: and open and honest, because I'm gonna tell you the truth. 1590 01:21:09,560 --> 01:21:13,680 Speaker 1: What I liked about women that weren't Christian women is 1591 01:21:13,720 --> 01:21:16,160 Speaker 1: they were more honest. So they would be like, this 1592 01:21:16,240 --> 01:21:17,960 Speaker 1: is who I am, this is what I am, this 1593 01:21:18,040 --> 01:21:20,360 Speaker 1: is my body count. Did they just be straight up honest. 1594 01:21:20,400 --> 01:21:22,479 Speaker 1: I'm like, well, dang, I ain't got no guests, and 1595 01:21:22,520 --> 01:21:24,040 Speaker 1: they let you know how they feel about you. They 1596 01:21:24,120 --> 01:21:26,720 Speaker 1: let them just it was just straight up honest. And 1597 01:21:26,880 --> 01:21:29,320 Speaker 1: I love transparency. So I'm not gonna say honesty. It 1598 01:21:29,400 --> 01:21:30,200 Speaker 1: was transparency. 1599 01:21:30,520 --> 01:21:30,840 Speaker 2: I said. 1600 01:21:30,880 --> 01:21:33,160 Speaker 1: Honesty is telling the truth. When I asked a question, 1601 01:21:33,280 --> 01:21:35,519 Speaker 1: transparency is telling me what I don't even know to ask. 1602 01:21:35,800 --> 01:21:39,000 Speaker 1: I desire transparency. They were just being transparent. I was like, gosh, 1603 01:21:39,040 --> 01:21:41,479 Speaker 1: I like this. I said, well, shoot, if somebody is 1604 01:21:41,560 --> 01:21:44,680 Speaker 1: just that honest like that, they'll shoot and not transparent. 1605 01:21:45,080 --> 01:21:48,840 Speaker 1: That person can be worked really well, can benefit the 1606 01:21:48,920 --> 01:21:51,720 Speaker 1: kingdom because that person, once you get them saved, they're 1607 01:21:51,720 --> 01:21:53,719 Speaker 1: gonna be on fire and they're gonna be very transparent, 1608 01:21:53,840 --> 01:21:56,000 Speaker 1: sharing their story, sharing their testimony. 1609 01:21:56,160 --> 01:21:59,160 Speaker 2: It's gonna be amazing. So asked my mindset and I said, 1610 01:21:59,400 --> 01:22:00,599 Speaker 2: I'm fin the try this out. 1611 01:22:00,760 --> 01:22:03,880 Speaker 1: And I dated this woman for it was a friend 1612 01:22:03,920 --> 01:22:05,760 Speaker 1: that I had a friend that I was really cool 1613 01:22:05,800 --> 01:22:09,120 Speaker 1: with for years, and I said, let me see what's up. 1614 01:22:09,720 --> 01:22:13,800 Speaker 1: And I dated her for about a month and I said. 1615 01:22:14,120 --> 01:22:16,560 Speaker 2: I can't do this. Like the there was there was. 1616 01:22:16,760 --> 01:22:19,679 Speaker 1: It felt like I was going against everything I knew 1617 01:22:19,920 --> 01:22:22,400 Speaker 1: as a core value that was right. It was certain 1618 01:22:22,439 --> 01:22:25,080 Speaker 1: conversations I want to have that she would be like, 1619 01:22:25,160 --> 01:22:26,840 Speaker 1: you know, I'm not like that. You know, I'm not 1620 01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:29,720 Speaker 1: deep like that. We can't talk about God like that. 1621 01:22:29,760 --> 01:22:33,840 Speaker 1: I was like, and then it was exhausting. So then 1622 01:22:33,920 --> 01:22:36,760 Speaker 1: what happens is uh, and you talked about me in 1623 01:22:36,880 --> 01:22:40,640 Speaker 1: the past when I was married, I cheated physically. Well 1624 01:22:40,680 --> 01:22:42,639 Speaker 1: I knew if I if I got with this woman, 1625 01:22:42,680 --> 01:22:45,600 Speaker 1: I'm finna cheat mentally and spiritually I'm be like, I 1626 01:22:45,720 --> 01:22:47,920 Speaker 1: want to just talk to another woman that I can 1627 01:22:47,960 --> 01:22:50,759 Speaker 1: be aligned with from a spiritual standpoint, So why waste 1628 01:22:50,800 --> 01:22:54,160 Speaker 1: my time. I'm a safeio sexual, I'm attracted to intellect, 1629 01:22:54,360 --> 01:22:56,639 Speaker 1: So why waste my time and try to get somebody 1630 01:22:56,760 --> 01:22:59,360 Speaker 1: to change their life? And so I think that God 1631 01:22:59,479 --> 01:23:02,280 Speaker 1: allows us these moments, not that these people are bad. 1632 01:23:02,400 --> 01:23:05,720 Speaker 1: They can be actually good, They're just not spiritually aligned 1633 01:23:05,800 --> 01:23:08,479 Speaker 1: with us. And so we have to have the like 1634 01:23:08,560 --> 01:23:11,200 Speaker 1: when the Bible says choose you today, who you will serve? 1635 01:23:11,640 --> 01:23:15,200 Speaker 1: That is a direct question, and it's a choice to say, 1636 01:23:15,400 --> 01:23:17,479 Speaker 1: all right, God, you know how and be honest, Like 1637 01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:18,800 Speaker 1: you said, I really like this person. 1638 01:23:18,800 --> 01:23:21,160 Speaker 2: It's great. This person has the character that I like. 1639 01:23:21,439 --> 01:23:23,000 Speaker 1: They just don't have that they just won't be able 1640 01:23:23,040 --> 01:23:24,960 Speaker 1: to provide the spiritual covering that I desire. 1641 01:23:25,240 --> 01:23:26,200 Speaker 2: But I really like them. 1642 01:23:26,320 --> 01:23:28,679 Speaker 1: Okay, God, I want you to give me a god 1643 01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:31,360 Speaker 1: fearing man, a man that's after your heart, that has 1644 01:23:31,439 --> 01:23:35,720 Speaker 1: these characteristics and this personality trait that I like, but 1645 01:23:35,880 --> 01:23:37,680 Speaker 1: I need them to be somebody that can pray it 1646 01:23:37,800 --> 01:23:42,000 Speaker 1: and can lead our family spiritually. But that was good, 1647 01:23:42,760 --> 01:23:46,360 Speaker 1: Thank you for trusting me with this lesson. But that 1648 01:23:46,479 --> 01:23:48,880 Speaker 1: ain't that I know the sound of my husband. It 1649 01:23:48,920 --> 01:23:49,800 Speaker 1: ain't the sound of them. 1650 01:23:49,880 --> 01:23:56,360 Speaker 3: Woof wow. Since you put it that way, It's a sound. 1651 01:23:56,840 --> 01:23:57,439 Speaker 3: It's a sound. 1652 01:23:57,640 --> 01:23:59,960 Speaker 1: It's a sound because even when Jesus talked a loud 1653 01:24:00,439 --> 01:24:03,600 Speaker 1: he said, Lazarus, come forth, the sound of Jesus' voice. 1654 01:24:03,720 --> 01:24:05,960 Speaker 2: Took a dead man and gave life to him. 1655 01:24:06,280 --> 01:24:08,280 Speaker 1: You need a husband that can speak to the dead 1656 01:24:08,400 --> 01:24:10,599 Speaker 1: areas of your life, speak to it and bring life 1657 01:24:10,680 --> 01:24:12,439 Speaker 1: to it, that can call you into places that you 1658 01:24:12,560 --> 01:24:13,680 Speaker 1: have never even walked in. 1659 01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:14,320 Speaker 2: Spiritually. 1660 01:24:14,760 --> 01:24:16,759 Speaker 1: You need a husband that can be able to discern 1661 01:24:16,840 --> 01:24:18,360 Speaker 1: some things and say, you know what I was praying. 1662 01:24:18,479 --> 01:24:19,840 Speaker 1: Are you dealing with this right? Nay? 1663 01:24:19,960 --> 01:24:22,360 Speaker 2: Like I was wanting to talk to you about that. Yeah, 1664 01:24:22,400 --> 01:24:24,240 Speaker 2: I was praying this morning. God revealed this. 1665 01:24:24,320 --> 01:24:27,680 Speaker 1: To me, and you go, That's why I needed a 1666 01:24:27,720 --> 01:24:30,880 Speaker 1: man of God because they can see beyond words that 1667 01:24:31,000 --> 01:24:33,000 Speaker 1: I don't even have to share that they can see 1668 01:24:33,200 --> 01:24:36,879 Speaker 1: into me intimacy, which is a true definition of intimacy which. 1669 01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:37,400 Speaker 2: Is into me. 1670 01:24:37,840 --> 01:24:41,679 Speaker 1: See, so he's able to see in you on levels 1671 01:24:41,760 --> 01:24:44,280 Speaker 1: that his penis doesn't even have to penetrate. He can 1672 01:24:44,360 --> 01:24:50,280 Speaker 1: penetrate your heart spiritually through prayer. That's what I'm talking about. Well, 1673 01:24:50,800 --> 01:24:53,559 Speaker 1: your friend over their crime. Put you over there, crime foe. 1674 01:24:53,600 --> 01:24:55,600 Speaker 2: Talk to me. You can talk off camera. What are 1675 01:24:55,600 --> 01:25:09,040 Speaker 2: you feeling right now? I don't have that? 1676 01:25:09,360 --> 01:25:10,080 Speaker 3: M Wow. 1677 01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:25,120 Speaker 5: It's because absolutely, it's not just like a desire, it's 1678 01:25:25,160 --> 01:25:26,760 Speaker 5: like I have. 1679 01:25:28,560 --> 01:25:30,479 Speaker 1: So what she just shared, if y'all could barely hear 1680 01:25:30,520 --> 01:25:33,640 Speaker 1: on camera, she said that she's in the midst of 1681 01:25:33,680 --> 01:25:36,360 Speaker 1: a separation. She was married to a Christian man, but 1682 01:25:36,520 --> 01:25:39,479 Speaker 1: didn't have that covering and the calling that's over her life. 1683 01:25:39,960 --> 01:25:43,360 Speaker 1: It's a mandate for her husband to have that level 1684 01:25:43,400 --> 01:25:47,120 Speaker 1: of covering in order to literally cover her into the 1685 01:25:47,200 --> 01:25:49,599 Speaker 1: next dimension that God has for her life. And that's 1686 01:25:49,640 --> 01:25:52,439 Speaker 1: what I'm talking about, Christina. That's how serious it is. 1687 01:25:53,080 --> 01:25:55,320 Speaker 1: That's how serious it is, especially when we look at 1688 01:25:55,680 --> 01:25:58,800 Speaker 1: how the world is moving right now, the demonic influences 1689 01:25:58,880 --> 01:26:02,439 Speaker 1: that are infiltrating this world right now. Is that serious? 1690 01:26:02,880 --> 01:26:08,000 Speaker 1: And so what if, just what if the devil got 1691 01:26:08,120 --> 01:26:12,240 Speaker 1: a tip on what your twenty six twenty seven gonna 1692 01:26:12,280 --> 01:26:15,240 Speaker 1: look like. But it is required for you to have 1693 01:26:15,960 --> 01:26:19,040 Speaker 1: a relationship with God on a level like you've never 1694 01:26:19,200 --> 01:26:22,200 Speaker 1: had before because of what your twenty six and twenty 1695 01:26:22,240 --> 01:26:26,880 Speaker 1: seven gonna look like. And it's predicated on who you 1696 01:26:27,040 --> 01:26:30,080 Speaker 1: associate yourself with. And I ain't just talking about boyfriends 1697 01:26:30,120 --> 01:26:32,680 Speaker 1: and all that stuff, but even friends generally, just to 1698 01:26:32,800 --> 01:26:36,240 Speaker 1: have people keendom minded, people that come alongside of you 1699 01:26:36,680 --> 01:26:39,040 Speaker 1: and hold your arms up when they get weary so 1700 01:26:39,160 --> 01:26:41,240 Speaker 1: that you can defeat the battle. 1701 01:26:41,640 --> 01:26:42,679 Speaker 2: That's what I'm talking about. 1702 01:26:42,720 --> 01:26:45,640 Speaker 1: When you get keendom minded people holding your arms up 1703 01:26:45,640 --> 01:26:47,320 Speaker 1: when you want to get weiry and you're well doing 1704 01:26:47,360 --> 01:26:50,439 Speaker 1: when you say, well, God, God, maybe I'm being too serious, 1705 01:26:50,520 --> 01:26:52,880 Speaker 1: maybe I'm taking this too much. It don't take all that, 1706 01:26:53,320 --> 01:26:55,280 Speaker 1: And God says, oh, it takes that, and then some. 1707 01:26:55,800 --> 01:26:57,200 Speaker 1: I need to get you to the level where it 1708 01:26:57,280 --> 01:26:59,599 Speaker 1: takes that, and then some. And then when you begin 1709 01:26:59,680 --> 01:27:02,080 Speaker 1: to like that, then you see the power of God 1710 01:27:02,200 --> 01:27:04,679 Speaker 1: move in your life where you see chains be broken 1711 01:27:04,800 --> 01:27:07,040 Speaker 1: that when you begin to talk to somebody, you see 1712 01:27:07,120 --> 01:27:09,120 Speaker 1: depression be lifted up off of them, when you see 1713 01:27:09,200 --> 01:27:12,880 Speaker 1: God's Holy hand begin to move in your life in 1714 01:27:12,920 --> 01:27:14,759 Speaker 1: ways you've never witnessed before. 1715 01:27:15,000 --> 01:27:17,519 Speaker 2: Just just what if, just what if? What if? What if? 1716 01:27:17,560 --> 01:27:17,800 Speaker 2: What if? 1717 01:27:17,880 --> 01:27:18,120 Speaker 5: What if? 1718 01:27:18,160 --> 01:27:20,880 Speaker 1: What if the devil got to peek into your life 1719 01:27:21,160 --> 01:27:23,120 Speaker 1: and say, oh, I got to put a distraction in 1720 01:27:23,200 --> 01:27:25,080 Speaker 1: front of you right now, so you'll be caught up 1721 01:27:25,160 --> 01:27:26,880 Speaker 1: on this right here when God is trying to get 1722 01:27:26,920 --> 01:27:27,360 Speaker 1: you over there. 1723 01:27:27,479 --> 01:27:29,200 Speaker 2: Just just just just what if. 1724 01:27:30,680 --> 01:27:33,160 Speaker 3: Well, it's funny you say that, because I honestly do 1725 01:27:33,360 --> 01:27:38,360 Speaker 3: feel like God is trying to prepare me for something 1726 01:27:38,400 --> 01:27:44,600 Speaker 3: and I'm allowing the distraction. Well willingly. I told you. 1727 01:27:44,680 --> 01:27:47,720 Speaker 3: I'm very honest with you. I told him, like, this 1728 01:27:47,920 --> 01:27:49,800 Speaker 3: is just what I like right now, Like, give me 1729 01:27:49,880 --> 01:27:52,120 Speaker 3: a minute, Yeah, give me a second. Let me just 1730 01:27:52,840 --> 01:27:54,760 Speaker 3: enjoy this, like I've been wrapped up in this for 1731 01:27:54,840 --> 01:27:57,920 Speaker 3: so long and this feels good right now, so let 1732 01:27:57,960 --> 01:28:03,280 Speaker 3: me enjoy it just a little while. But I know 1733 01:28:03,520 --> 01:28:08,360 Speaker 3: that God is calling me out of that and deeper 1734 01:28:08,520 --> 01:28:15,800 Speaker 3: because I don't. I don't feel settled. I feel like 1735 01:28:15,880 --> 01:28:16,439 Speaker 3: I'm at. 1736 01:28:16,400 --> 01:28:20,000 Speaker 2: War spiritually rin the tissue that's over there. 1737 01:28:20,560 --> 01:28:27,360 Speaker 3: I'm at war, like I feel it and know for you. Yeah, 1738 01:28:27,479 --> 01:28:31,160 Speaker 3: so I know I know what I need to do, 1739 01:28:31,400 --> 01:28:34,599 Speaker 3: I really do, And it's just what I've just been 1740 01:28:34,680 --> 01:28:36,920 Speaker 3: trying to do what feels good to my flesh because 1741 01:28:36,920 --> 01:28:40,960 Speaker 3: I always feel like Christina always plays by the rules. 1742 01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:44,559 Speaker 3: I'm you know what I'm saying. A lot of my friends, Oh, 1743 01:28:44,680 --> 01:28:47,679 Speaker 3: Christina's a goodie two shoe, Christina does this. Christina waited 1744 01:28:47,800 --> 01:28:51,280 Speaker 3: till you know, marriage to have sex with her husband, 1745 01:28:51,560 --> 01:28:57,360 Speaker 3: and no it wasn't okay. I didn't have many partners, 1746 01:28:57,400 --> 01:29:00,559 Speaker 3: but I was not a virgin with your husband. Yeah, 1747 01:29:00,600 --> 01:29:02,439 Speaker 3: because I'm like, okay, Laura, I felt like that's what 1748 01:29:02,520 --> 01:29:04,080 Speaker 3: God was calling me to do. And I'm even in 1749 01:29:04,160 --> 01:29:06,679 Speaker 3: a position to where that's what I wanted you again, 1750 01:29:07,640 --> 01:29:11,080 Speaker 3: and so you know, I know that you know, God 1751 01:29:11,120 --> 01:29:14,640 Speaker 3: has called me to do these things. But I'm just 1752 01:29:14,800 --> 01:29:16,560 Speaker 3: I got to the point and I just want to 1753 01:29:16,600 --> 01:29:18,320 Speaker 3: be honest, Like I got to the point where I'm like, 1754 01:29:18,720 --> 01:29:23,160 Speaker 3: can Christina, for wance, just do what's not so perfect? 1755 01:29:23,680 --> 01:29:26,799 Speaker 3: Can I just experience something outside of that for a second. 1756 01:29:27,520 --> 01:29:30,519 Speaker 3: But it came with a price, that's about to say it. 1757 01:29:30,560 --> 01:29:33,320 Speaker 1: You can experience it. I experienced a whole lot of things. 1758 01:29:33,840 --> 01:29:35,560 Speaker 1: He let me experience it, and I sit back and 1759 01:29:35,640 --> 01:29:38,840 Speaker 1: be like, I don't like it. That don't feel good 1760 01:29:38,920 --> 01:29:39,519 Speaker 1: My heart hurt. 1761 01:29:39,600 --> 01:29:40,160 Speaker 2: I don't like this. 1762 01:29:40,439 --> 01:29:44,519 Speaker 3: That's how I feel. It's a lot like you know, 1763 01:29:44,920 --> 01:29:49,599 Speaker 3: it's like it feels good, but then something happens when 1764 01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:51,639 Speaker 3: it just feels horrible at the same time. 1765 01:29:51,840 --> 01:29:56,559 Speaker 1: It's just like because the end result is not It's 1766 01:29:56,640 --> 01:29:59,240 Speaker 1: like investing in something and losing it all. It's like 1767 01:29:59,360 --> 01:30:01,240 Speaker 1: saying I'm in investing this and I feel like I'm 1768 01:30:01,320 --> 01:30:03,280 Speaker 1: a hit big and then you lose everything. You're like, man, 1769 01:30:03,320 --> 01:30:05,040 Speaker 1: i could have kept my little ten dollars, then I'm 1770 01:30:05,040 --> 01:30:06,680 Speaker 1: gonna lose it all, like at the end of the day. 1771 01:30:06,720 --> 01:30:08,000 Speaker 2: And so that's what it is. 1772 01:30:08,080 --> 01:30:11,040 Speaker 1: They always say, hindsight is twenty twenty. And so what 1773 01:30:11,200 --> 01:30:14,320 Speaker 1: I want to applaud you with is being a Christian 1774 01:30:14,400 --> 01:30:17,760 Speaker 1: person admitting the desires of your heart because a lot 1775 01:30:17,800 --> 01:30:19,920 Speaker 1: of times people are afraid to even say that. I 1776 01:30:19,960 --> 01:30:22,040 Speaker 1: don't want to say that because they look like I 1777 01:30:22,120 --> 01:30:24,040 Speaker 1: don't really trust God. I don't want to say that 1778 01:30:24,080 --> 01:30:26,000 Speaker 1: because I don't want to look like no, God knows. 1779 01:30:26,280 --> 01:30:28,080 Speaker 1: So the fact you just said, I'm like, no, I do. 1780 01:30:28,280 --> 01:30:30,280 Speaker 1: I know it's a bad decision and I want I 1781 01:30:30,439 --> 01:30:31,600 Speaker 1: wanted to do it, I don't want to do it. 1782 01:30:31,720 --> 01:30:33,439 Speaker 3: That's what I wanted to do, because I feel like 1783 01:30:34,360 --> 01:30:36,080 Speaker 3: I don't ever do what I want to do. I'm 1784 01:30:36,120 --> 01:30:38,760 Speaker 3: always like buy the bugs. I'm always I don't know, 1785 01:30:39,080 --> 01:30:41,000 Speaker 3: that's just not the Christian thing to do. We can't 1786 01:30:41,080 --> 01:30:41,280 Speaker 3: do that. 1787 01:30:42,560 --> 01:30:46,240 Speaker 2: Well, I thank you so much for being transparent and vulnerable. 1788 01:30:47,000 --> 01:30:48,960 Speaker 2: Anything else? How can we support you? 1789 01:30:49,479 --> 01:30:51,640 Speaker 1: Drop your social media handle so we can follow you 1790 01:30:52,160 --> 01:30:54,920 Speaker 1: and then yeah, just do that first and now I'll 1791 01:30:54,920 --> 01:30:55,599 Speaker 1: ask the next question. 1792 01:30:55,760 --> 01:30:58,680 Speaker 3: So my Instagram handle is Christina with A K k 1793 01:30:59,040 --> 01:31:03,320 Speaker 3: ris I NA Bowman b O W M A N 1794 01:31:03,600 --> 01:31:06,200 Speaker 3: smith S m I T H. That is off of 1795 01:31:06,320 --> 01:31:10,160 Speaker 3: my website where you can purchase a fabulous ready to 1796 01:31:10,200 --> 01:31:14,519 Speaker 3: wear pieces for women and some merch and some other things. 1797 01:31:14,600 --> 01:31:18,560 Speaker 3: Booked me for style sessions, closet makeovers. 1798 01:31:19,880 --> 01:31:23,000 Speaker 2: So that's what you do. Yes, it's your whole styles 1799 01:31:23,080 --> 01:31:23,360 Speaker 2: out here. 1800 01:31:23,920 --> 01:31:24,160 Speaker 3: Yeah? 1801 01:31:24,760 --> 01:31:24,960 Speaker 2: Are you? 1802 01:31:25,120 --> 01:31:27,240 Speaker 1: Are you that friend that your friends be like, girl, 1803 01:31:27,320 --> 01:31:29,000 Speaker 1: tell me if this looks cute, I'm gonna go out tonight. 1804 01:31:29,080 --> 01:31:30,360 Speaker 3: Absolutely, And they can call you on. 1805 01:31:30,400 --> 01:31:32,000 Speaker 1: FaceTime and you'd be like, no, switch that with that 1806 01:31:32,080 --> 01:31:33,840 Speaker 1: shirt and put that in. And then you said, well, 1807 01:31:33,840 --> 01:31:34,800 Speaker 1: sho I keep doing for free. 1808 01:31:34,800 --> 01:31:36,400 Speaker 3: I'm as we'll get paid for Oh no, I've been 1809 01:31:36,439 --> 01:31:38,920 Speaker 3: doing this paid since I was probably nineteen. 1810 01:31:39,120 --> 01:31:44,439 Speaker 1: Oh really yeah, really since you were nineteen Oh well good? Yeah, yeah, 1811 01:31:44,720 --> 01:31:48,720 Speaker 1: yeah yeah, mayorage slow that down? Did you have big 1812 01:31:49,160 --> 01:31:51,360 Speaker 1: ambition and dreams When we first got married. 1813 01:31:51,400 --> 01:31:53,599 Speaker 3: I did everything that I wanted to do as far 1814 01:31:53,640 --> 01:31:56,679 Speaker 3: as like styling, I was traveling, it was, it was great. 1815 01:31:57,600 --> 01:32:00,320 Speaker 3: It was when I had my first child that everything 1816 01:32:00,439 --> 01:32:04,880 Speaker 3: slow down, which makes sense. Yeah, so I took a backseat. Homeschool, 1817 01:32:05,000 --> 01:32:09,400 Speaker 3: my girls, stay at home. Mom did all the things, 1818 01:32:10,400 --> 01:32:14,000 Speaker 3: but they can't get me far. So back out here, 1819 01:32:14,040 --> 01:32:18,040 Speaker 3: book me put some money in my pocket. You know 1820 01:32:18,360 --> 01:32:18,960 Speaker 3: I'm dropping. 1821 01:32:19,120 --> 01:32:19,240 Speaker 2: Oh. 1822 01:32:19,360 --> 01:32:24,560 Speaker 3: I'm also collaborating with my hairstylist on a wig and 1823 01:32:26,360 --> 01:32:32,200 Speaker 3: luxury here unit business. So that is once you hit 1824 01:32:32,320 --> 01:32:35,160 Speaker 3: my site, you'll have a link to purchase per hair 1825 01:32:35,240 --> 01:32:35,599 Speaker 3: as well. 1826 01:32:36,080 --> 01:32:38,320 Speaker 2: How your kids doing post divorce? 1827 01:32:40,360 --> 01:32:45,120 Speaker 3: They're doing good. I mean I see little changes, which 1828 01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:48,320 Speaker 3: is expected. I'm trying to get my oldest to agree 1829 01:32:48,360 --> 01:32:50,880 Speaker 3: to go to therapy. She keeps saying she's not going 1830 01:32:50,960 --> 01:32:51,280 Speaker 3: to talk. 1831 01:32:52,760 --> 01:32:53,000 Speaker 5: Seven. 1832 01:32:53,439 --> 01:32:58,120 Speaker 3: My oldest is ten ten seven, the youngest seven. She's like, 1833 01:32:58,200 --> 01:32:59,680 Speaker 3: I'm not going to talk. I'm just going to sit 1834 01:32:59,720 --> 01:33:01,680 Speaker 3: there and let it go. 1835 01:33:01,840 --> 01:33:02,519 Speaker 2: Say okay, just go. 1836 01:33:02,840 --> 01:33:05,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, so work. I've come to the point where I'm 1837 01:33:05,960 --> 01:33:07,559 Speaker 3: just like, I'm just gonna have to sit her there 1838 01:33:07,640 --> 01:33:08,880 Speaker 3: and shoe eventually. 1839 01:33:09,080 --> 01:33:10,080 Speaker 2: Know what to do. Yeah. 1840 01:33:10,120 --> 01:33:12,479 Speaker 3: So I do see little things and little changes. I've 1841 01:33:12,479 --> 01:33:15,519 Speaker 3: seen changes in her attitude. She's a little more spicy 1842 01:33:15,880 --> 01:33:19,519 Speaker 3: these days. She didn't have a little meltdown a couple 1843 01:33:19,520 --> 01:33:21,640 Speaker 3: of weeks ago, and she cried, and she says she 1844 01:33:21,720 --> 01:33:25,280 Speaker 3: doesn't want her family to be separated. So that stuff 1845 01:33:25,360 --> 01:33:27,560 Speaker 3: kind of pulls on my heartstrings, especially because I'm the 1846 01:33:27,600 --> 01:33:29,880 Speaker 3: one who filed for divorce. Like, sometimes I feel like 1847 01:33:30,520 --> 01:33:35,760 Speaker 3: it's on me. But you know, we're navigating. I'm doing 1848 01:33:35,840 --> 01:33:38,200 Speaker 3: my best. It's tough. 1849 01:33:39,240 --> 01:33:41,760 Speaker 1: Having the father. We lift up this family before you. 1850 01:33:42,040 --> 01:33:44,920 Speaker 1: God asked that you touch the hearts of these young queens. 1851 01:33:45,520 --> 01:33:48,080 Speaker 1: God asked that you heal them, that you bring restoration, 1852 01:33:48,320 --> 01:33:51,880 Speaker 1: that you give language to the pain that they're going through, 1853 01:33:52,439 --> 01:33:57,679 Speaker 1: and that even though this one submits to counseling and therapy, 1854 01:33:57,920 --> 01:34:00,920 Speaker 1: and that she gets the right therapist that's able to 1855 01:34:02,600 --> 01:34:07,840 Speaker 1: navigate the intricacies of our heart and begin to heal 1856 01:34:07,880 --> 01:34:10,439 Speaker 1: it again, to talk to, to give a language. And 1857 01:34:10,560 --> 01:34:13,800 Speaker 1: God asked that you continue to give Christina and her 1858 01:34:14,320 --> 01:34:18,439 Speaker 1: and the late husband wisdom on how to navigate this 1859 01:34:18,680 --> 01:34:19,759 Speaker 1: uncharted territory. 1860 01:34:20,080 --> 01:34:23,320 Speaker 2: Yes, Peace be still, I speak peace. 1861 01:34:23,120 --> 01:34:27,040 Speaker 1: And to this situation as they decide how to move 1862 01:34:27,160 --> 01:34:30,800 Speaker 1: on from the house, God asks for wisdom, guidance, and 1863 01:34:30,960 --> 01:34:35,680 Speaker 1: direction for you to impart into them right now. In 1864 01:34:35,800 --> 01:34:39,640 Speaker 1: the name of Jesus, Peace be still, and God, I 1865 01:34:39,800 --> 01:34:41,840 Speaker 1: thank you for the testimony that's going to come forward. 1866 01:34:42,200 --> 01:34:48,120 Speaker 1: God ask that you continue to give Christina wisdom on 1867 01:34:48,400 --> 01:34:51,000 Speaker 1: how to date, how to choose your best, how to 1868 01:34:51,160 --> 01:34:54,360 Speaker 1: vet properly, and how to be submitted to your voice 1869 01:34:54,680 --> 01:34:57,880 Speaker 1: as you guide her to her purpose. Partner, Lord, I 1870 01:34:57,960 --> 01:35:02,200 Speaker 1: asked that you even heal her experiences as is as 1871 01:35:02,240 --> 01:35:05,519 Speaker 1: it relates to Christian men, for her to meet a 1872 01:35:05,720 --> 01:35:09,519 Speaker 1: man that's a man after your heart, a godly man, 1873 01:35:09,800 --> 01:35:12,920 Speaker 1: a god fearing man, a man that can give her 1874 01:35:13,000 --> 01:35:19,479 Speaker 1: proper leadership spiritually, psychologically, physically, and even emotionally. God and 1875 01:35:19,600 --> 01:35:22,360 Speaker 1: emostly intelligent man. And God, we thank you for all 1876 01:35:22,400 --> 01:35:25,519 Speaker 1: that you're going to do. In Jesus name, we pray Amen, Amen, 1877 01:35:26,880 --> 01:35:30,240 Speaker 1: who amen, So listen, y'all give it up for my 1878 01:35:30,360 --> 01:35:31,840 Speaker 1: homie Christina Smith. 1879 01:35:31,920 --> 01:35:36,800 Speaker 2: Y'all thank you for having me stay tuned to the 1880 01:35:36,960 --> 01:35:38,599 Speaker 2: end for a letter to my future wife. 1881 01:35:39,200 --> 01:35:41,240 Speaker 3: Write in these love letters. 1882 01:35:46,280 --> 01:35:50,479 Speaker 1: Ladarian thrust it suddenly into child protective services. 1883 01:35:50,520 --> 01:35:54,320 Speaker 2: In twenty fifteen, my nephew Black, a. 1884 01:35:54,400 --> 01:35:58,639 Speaker 1: Boy, the likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship slim 1885 01:35:58,720 --> 01:36:04,559 Speaker 1: to none? Sixteen years old, Black, a boy with five 1886 01:36:04,680 --> 01:36:07,080 Speaker 1: years in the false care system before I even knew 1887 01:36:07,120 --> 01:36:07,479 Speaker 1: his name. 1888 01:36:08,320 --> 01:36:11,960 Speaker 2: The likelihood have ever been adopted? Yep, you guessed it. 1889 01:36:12,680 --> 01:36:13,599 Speaker 2: Slim to none. 1890 01:36:15,160 --> 01:36:17,760 Speaker 1: While Ladarian and our MONI were trying to survive and 1891 01:36:17,840 --> 01:36:21,519 Speaker 1: barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded false care system, 1892 01:36:21,560 --> 01:36:24,840 Speaker 1: I was living my own life, doing well professionally, having 1893 01:36:24,920 --> 01:36:26,920 Speaker 1: been a single father with a daughter who at that 1894 01:36:27,040 --> 01:36:29,639 Speaker 1: point was doing well in college. It was my time 1895 01:36:29,680 --> 01:36:36,360 Speaker 1: to live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated. 1896 01:36:37,320 --> 01:36:40,639 Speaker 1: There are just two many of our black children stuck 1897 01:36:40,960 --> 01:36:44,240 Speaker 1: in ambiguity and in the limbo of the falseter care system. 1898 01:36:44,960 --> 01:36:48,920 Speaker 1: In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast 1899 01:36:48,960 --> 01:36:51,280 Speaker 1: forward to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to this 1900 01:36:51,439 --> 01:36:53,840 Speaker 1: other young king, but I felt God instructed me to 1901 01:36:53,960 --> 01:36:57,479 Speaker 1: adopt him. Also in al Babe, starting over with parentings 1902 01:36:57,520 --> 01:37:00,200 Speaker 1: should have been enough. Right, working with various fo to 1903 01:37:00,240 --> 01:37:03,000 Speaker 1: care and adoption agencies to help bring awareness to the 1904 01:37:03,120 --> 01:37:06,479 Speaker 1: countless young Black Kings and the Falster Care system should 1905 01:37:06,520 --> 01:37:10,439 Speaker 1: have decreased My agitation right join the board of directors 1906 01:37:10,479 --> 01:37:14,240 Speaker 1: of Advantage Adoption and organization that helps find permanent adoptive 1907 01:37:14,320 --> 01:37:16,800 Speaker 1: homes for children in Falter Care should have led to 1908 01:37:16,920 --> 01:37:17,960 Speaker 1: some type of resolve. 1909 01:37:18,120 --> 01:37:22,439 Speaker 2: Right. No, not at all. None of it felt like 1910 01:37:22,640 --> 01:37:23,639 Speaker 2: I had done enough. 1911 01:37:24,720 --> 01:37:28,800 Speaker 1: I now realized that every one of those experiences was 1912 01:37:28,920 --> 01:37:31,559 Speaker 1: land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission. 1913 01:37:32,520 --> 01:37:33,320 Speaker 2: Kingdom Royal. 1914 01:37:34,280 --> 01:37:36,920 Speaker 1: Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art 1915 01:37:37,000 --> 01:37:40,160 Speaker 1: home for foster boys. Our first location will be in 1916 01:37:40,200 --> 01:37:43,160 Speaker 1: the Dallas Fort Word Metroplex. We will utilize the whole 1917 01:37:43,320 --> 01:37:47,879 Speaker 1: person approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate for themselves, 1918 01:37:48,160 --> 01:37:52,040 Speaker 1: and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless. 1919 01:37:51,560 --> 01:37:55,840 Speaker 2: Options that they thought were impossible. Though. 1920 01:37:55,880 --> 01:37:58,040 Speaker 1: The young Kings will attend the local public schools that 1921 01:37:58,120 --> 01:38:01,960 Speaker 1: are in proximity to Kingdom Royal. Our at home curriculum 1922 01:38:02,160 --> 01:38:05,599 Speaker 1: will broaden their worldview through participating in the arts, attending 1923 01:38:05,680 --> 01:38:10,560 Speaker 1: various cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions 1924 01:38:10,600 --> 01:38:14,920 Speaker 1: about current events and even relevant historical contexts, introducing them 1925 01:38:15,000 --> 01:38:18,559 Speaker 1: to gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our animals 1926 01:38:18,840 --> 01:38:22,559 Speaker 1: on our form and on site stables. We just launched 1927 01:38:22,640 --> 01:38:25,760 Speaker 1: our startup capital campaign with the goal of raising two 1928 01:38:25,760 --> 01:38:26,800 Speaker 1: point eight million dollars. 1929 01:38:26,840 --> 01:38:28,240 Speaker 2: Now why two point eight million dollars? 1930 01:38:29,120 --> 01:38:31,439 Speaker 1: Well, In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in 1931 01:38:31,479 --> 01:38:34,720 Speaker 1: which I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the 1932 01:38:34,800 --> 01:38:35,599 Speaker 1: homeless community. 1933 01:38:35,880 --> 01:38:38,000 Speaker 2: One of the most notable successes. 1934 01:38:37,680 --> 01:38:40,679 Speaker 1: Was that one of the videos went viral, garnering twenty 1935 01:38:40,880 --> 01:38:45,120 Speaker 1: eight million views. However, one of my biggest regrets is 1936 01:38:45,200 --> 01:38:47,439 Speaker 1: that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in 1937 01:38:47,560 --> 01:38:51,640 Speaker 1: implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community. So 1938 01:38:51,800 --> 01:38:55,800 Speaker 1: throughout the years, with much remorse, I reflect that I'm 1939 01:38:55,840 --> 01:38:57,240 Speaker 1: not maximizing that moment. 1940 01:38:57,360 --> 01:39:00,400 Speaker 2: I knew if at that time just ten cent of the. 1941 01:39:00,439 --> 01:39:03,479 Speaker 1: Viewers donated one dollar, we would have raised at least 1942 01:39:03,560 --> 01:39:07,400 Speaker 1: two point eight million dollars that could have really established 1943 01:39:07,439 --> 01:39:10,160 Speaker 1: long term support for the homeless community, or at least 1944 01:39:10,479 --> 01:39:12,680 Speaker 1: started a long term initiative to do so. 1945 01:39:13,760 --> 01:39:17,839 Speaker 2: This is my do over, this is our new beginning. 1946 01:39:18,040 --> 01:39:21,480 Speaker 1: Together, we can attack this at the route by specifically 1947 01:39:21,640 --> 01:39:26,760 Speaker 1: helping our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented 1948 01:39:26,960 --> 01:39:28,639 Speaker 1: in the American fossil care system. 1949 01:39:29,320 --> 01:39:30,559 Speaker 2: I'm the terrysar Wwiidfield. 1950 01:39:30,560 --> 01:39:33,960 Speaker 1: I've been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work 1951 01:39:34,000 --> 01:39:36,920 Speaker 1: with the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey. 1952 01:39:37,520 --> 01:39:39,280 Speaker 2: Despite those accolades. 1953 01:39:39,360 --> 01:39:43,640 Speaker 1: The greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure 1954 01:39:43,880 --> 01:39:48,360 Speaker 1: for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot com for more 1955 01:39:48,479 --> 01:39:51,479 Speaker 1: details Crown of King and make. 1956 01:39:51,360 --> 01:39:52,799 Speaker 2: A donation today. 1957 01:40:00,160 --> 01:40:02,960 Speaker 1: So was absolutely phenomenal with Christine. I'm glad that she 1958 01:40:03,080 --> 01:40:06,800 Speaker 1: was very vulnerable, transparent, and just allowed us to just 1959 01:40:07,000 --> 01:40:10,439 Speaker 1: unpack some things that we all have to navigate in 1960 01:40:10,560 --> 01:40:13,360 Speaker 1: these dating streets and our dat and journey whether we're 1961 01:40:13,400 --> 01:40:16,000 Speaker 1: going to stay true to our core values or allow 1962 01:40:16,120 --> 01:40:19,800 Speaker 1: the influence of our heart. The Bible says that our 1963 01:40:19,840 --> 01:40:23,880 Speaker 1: heart is deceptive, and that's interesting because the feelings that 1964 01:40:23,960 --> 01:40:26,360 Speaker 1: we have in our heart, if it's not aligned with God, 1965 01:40:26,439 --> 01:40:29,000 Speaker 1: that it can deceive us and allow us to entertain 1966 01:40:29,120 --> 01:40:31,360 Speaker 1: things that we shouldn't. Well, here's my favorite part of 1967 01:40:31,400 --> 01:40:35,360 Speaker 1: the podcast. I speak to my future Wifey, dear future wifey. 1968 01:40:35,720 --> 01:40:38,759 Speaker 1: When God brings us together, we won't just be husband 1969 01:40:38,800 --> 01:40:42,280 Speaker 1: and wife. We will be kingdom ambassadors. Our marriage will 1970 01:40:42,280 --> 01:40:45,520 Speaker 1: be more than romance. It will be a throne room partnership. 1971 01:40:45,640 --> 01:40:48,720 Speaker 1: Together we will walk and the spiritual authority Christ gave 1972 01:40:48,840 --> 01:40:53,240 Speaker 1: us keys in hand, unlocking doors that generations before us 1973 01:40:53,479 --> 01:40:56,919 Speaker 1: only dreamed of opening. I see us declaring Heaven's promises 1974 01:40:57,040 --> 01:41:00,200 Speaker 1: over our home and watching earth align. I see us 1975 01:41:00,280 --> 01:41:03,880 Speaker 1: binding what Heaven has bound, and loosen what Heaven has loosed. 1976 01:41:03,920 --> 01:41:07,800 Speaker 1: I see us interceding not timidly but boldly, because we 1977 01:41:07,960 --> 01:41:10,720 Speaker 1: know our authority is not our own, but rooted and 1978 01:41:10,800 --> 01:41:11,200 Speaker 1: the King. 1979 01:41:11,479 --> 01:41:12,000 Speaker 3: We serve. 1980 01:41:12,400 --> 01:41:15,360 Speaker 1: You and I will access the mysteries of the kingdom, 1981 01:41:15,720 --> 01:41:18,360 Speaker 1: not for our glory but for his. We will build 1982 01:41:18,479 --> 01:41:21,560 Speaker 1: altars in prayer, not just to ask, but to legislate, 1983 01:41:21,920 --> 01:41:25,639 Speaker 1: to call things forth as though they were. When trials arise, 1984 01:41:26,000 --> 01:41:28,760 Speaker 1: we won't bow to fear because we will know our 1985 01:41:28,880 --> 01:41:33,240 Speaker 1: covenant carries power. Our love will be a key, our 1986 01:41:33,400 --> 01:41:36,240 Speaker 1: unity will be a key, our faith will be a key. 1987 01:41:36,600 --> 01:41:39,840 Speaker 1: And as we unlock Heaven's treasures, we will show the 1988 01:41:39,880 --> 01:41:43,200 Speaker 1: world that marriage is not just a contract, but a covenant, 1989 01:41:43,760 --> 01:41:47,519 Speaker 1: an embassy of God's rule on Earth. Dear Future Hobby, 1990 01:41:48,880 --> 01:41:51,240 Speaker 1: I hope you enjoy this episode of the Dear Future 1991 01:41:51,240 --> 01:41:56,760 Speaker 1: Wife podcast. Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently, and 1992 01:41:56,880 --> 01:41:57,679 Speaker 1: don't stop loving. 1993 01:41:58,120 --> 01:42:00,200 Speaker 2: Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future That's Your 1994 01:42:00,200 --> 01:42:04,280 Speaker 2: Wife you YouTube channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts, Little Podcasts, Spotify, 1995 01:42:04,320 --> 01:42:07,559 Speaker 2: and Stitcher. You welcome your support. Simply share our podcast 1996 01:42:07,680 --> 01:42:08,639 Speaker 2: with your friends and family.