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Speaker 1: So I spent my first thirty one days of the

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Speaker 1: year fasting. Towards the end, God was like, Brittany's your wife,

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Speaker 1: I saidship still I was.

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Speaker 2: He called back a couple of days later and he

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Speaker 2: was like, I don't think you understand God told me

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Speaker 2: that you're my wife. Piss me off so bad. So

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Speaker 2: we're on the phone, and right I had called my

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Speaker 2: mom and I was like, girl, can you believe he

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Speaker 2: just called me talking about when God told me? I

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Speaker 2: was like, can need to stop this, miss And I'm

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Speaker 2: sick of here. I ain't got time to be playing

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Speaker 2: with him, like.

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Speaker 1: I'm just going going and.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, here the phone starts to sound different, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: what'scrow with your phone?

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Speaker 3: This phone?

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Speaker 1: FaceTime facetimed me.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know if I was embarrassed because he

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Speaker 2: heard me talking trash abou him, if I was embarrassed

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Speaker 2: because I looked a mess with my bonnet.

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Speaker 4: Out there when you walked away from that conversation. What

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Speaker 4: did you think?

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Speaker 2: I thought, Okay, I think he's serious in the conversation

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Speaker 2: and he was like, well, you know, the next time

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Speaker 2: I'm in Atlanta, can I stop by and see you?

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Speaker 2: And I said well, yeah, sure, Well when are you

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Speaker 2: going to be in Atlanta? He was like on Saturday,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like it's like Wednesday. He's like, yeah, that's

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Speaker 2: gonna be the next time I'm in Atlanta. And I

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Speaker 2: was like, well, what are you coming for?

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Speaker 3: And he was like to see you?

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Speaker 4: And that was like, I love to be a future

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Speaker 4: working podcast Our Homies the macatize y'all, what's going on?

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Speaker 2: I told my mom when I got back home from

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Speaker 2: the person, I was like, this is my husband because

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Speaker 2: he was everything I had prayed for. And I was

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Speaker 2: very specific at that time. I was not mature enough

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Speaker 2: to I'm gonna just keep.

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Speaker 4: It one hundred.

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Speaker 2: You can really do well when I'm not a priority.

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Speaker 2: That don't work for me.

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Speaker 1: In the entirety of the first dating experience, I feel

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Speaker 1: like she was so focused on getting to marriage and

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Speaker 1: not growing in relationship.

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Speaker 2: I woke up one morning when God was like, break

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Speaker 2: up with him, because a.

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Speaker 4: Lot of women say I want a man to fight

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Speaker 4: for me, and sometimes you can fight for somebody to

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Speaker 4: the point of toxicity, to where now you're harming yourself.

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Speaker 4: What could you have done from your standpoint that would

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Speaker 4: have caused you or the fight to last a little longer.

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Speaker 4: What started as a search for understanding became a journey

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Speaker 4: of transformation. Every letter that I wrote led me to

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Speaker 4: this day, the day I got married November twenty second,

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Speaker 4: twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 5: Dear my forever, Forever is a long time. That's how long.

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Speaker 3: I'll love you.

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Speaker 5: Those lyrics echo through every fiber of my soul at

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Speaker 5: the very thought of you.

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Speaker 4: This journey has culminated with you as both the award

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Speaker 4: and the reward of my pursuit of love. You are

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Speaker 4: the award, the honor God placed before me, the recognition

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Speaker 4: of growth, healing, and becoming the man I needed to be.

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Speaker 5: And you are the reward, the blessing given after endurance,

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Speaker 5: the gift promised to those who refuse to faint.

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Speaker 4: This isn't just our story, this for all of us.

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Speaker 4: I'm the Terrassaar Whitfield.

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Speaker 6: I'm Ashley are Wittbuilder. Welcome to the podcast.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to the DIFFTU Wife Podcast. I'm your host of

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Speaker 4: Terisar Whitfield.

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Speaker 6: And I'm Ashley are Witfield.

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Speaker 4: Listen. Are you still shacking up with us? Okay? If

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Speaker 4: you're still shacking up with us, we're in season eleven.

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Speaker 4: Come on, what are you doing? I need you to

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Speaker 4: hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure you turn

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Speaker 4: on your notification bell to be notified about upcoming episodes.

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Speaker 4: Let me tell you something. It's so important for you

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Speaker 4: to subscribe because it shows potential sponsors and advertisers the

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Speaker 4: amount of people that are truly rocking with us. And

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Speaker 4: a lot of y'all hit me up and say how

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Speaker 4: did I miss that live? It's because you weren't subscribed.

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Speaker 4: And make sure you turn that notification bell as well,

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Speaker 4: so that anytime we go live on Wednesdays at nine am,

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Speaker 4: you get notified. Well, today's episode, it's gonna be great.

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Speaker 4: I've gotten countless of people DM and me saying you

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Speaker 4: gotta have this couple on the podcast, and well, actually

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Speaker 4: they say a couple. They said the woman because they

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Speaker 4: don't even get to see her husband, and so he

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Speaker 4: is here. He's not Ai. So we're proud of that. So,

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Speaker 4: without further ado, welcome to a Dear Future WIFEI podcast

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Speaker 4: Our homies the McIntire. Hey, y'all, what's going on? Kevin?

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Speaker 4: So you're real? Huh?

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Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm here.

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Speaker 4: So Kevin, why is it that you don't, like, you

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Speaker 4: don't even have an Instagram or any social media account.

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 4: I don't have a LinkedIn.

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Speaker 1: I got LinkedIn. I got a LinkedIn.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna have a social media account for my money. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I have one for your personal Like, why is that?

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Speaker 1: It's just not something that I've always wanted to do.

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Speaker 1: I've been private naturally.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 1: And I was telling my wife earlier, I don't have

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Speaker 1: much to post, I don't think. So what I do

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Speaker 1: is I golf, I mil prep, and I work out.

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Speaker 1: And every time I had one several years ago, it

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Speaker 1: was always working out. He's got a meal prep now

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Speaker 1: he's gonna go, and people get that's what I was doing,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, yep, I don't really need to

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Speaker 1: do this. So I've always just been one that was

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Speaker 1: low key behind the scenes and so just never really

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Speaker 1: gotten too social media thing.

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Speaker 4: But and we'll talk about this later, but you were

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Speaker 4: involved with a lot of stuff as far as ministry

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Speaker 4: late that involved you. You kept yourself busy during your

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Speaker 4: single season, right, yes, sir, and so, but you didn't

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Speaker 4: feel the need to keep a social media account for

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Speaker 4: personal reasons because you'd like to be private. What did

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Speaker 4: that feel like now dating someone who I can't say dating,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna say after y'all got married, been married to

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Speaker 4: someone that shares y'all's journey publicly.

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Speaker 1: It was it was, It was tough. It was tough,

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Speaker 1: but it was an adjustment I knew I had to make.

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Speaker 1: When we first dated, she talked about how she wanted

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Speaker 1: to be helping women serving women and our marriage be

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Speaker 1: a ministry, and so I knew going into it I

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Speaker 1: had to have that mindset. Knew marrying her meant I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be on social media. I didn't know how

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Speaker 1: much it involved. I didn't know that every time I

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Speaker 1: put something together, every time i'm you know, working around

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Speaker 1: the house or building something, it's going on social media.

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Speaker 1: I mean it's now to where I went to a

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Speaker 1: golf tournament probably a couple months back, like, oh, you're

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Speaker 1: Kevin right. I'm like, how do you know that your

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Speaker 1: white social media? You're putting up curtains. I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I guess you do nothing, but so I guess. It

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Speaker 1: was an adjustment, but I knew I had to make it,

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Speaker 1: and it was more so seeing it as our journey,

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Speaker 1: not just my wife wanted to be on social media,

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Speaker 1: but our marriage should be a ministry and so it's

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Speaker 1: us together doing it. She's just the one that is

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Speaker 1: driving that, and I'm just supporting by whatever I needed

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Speaker 1: to do, was at home, being on podcasts, doing the camera,

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Speaker 1: doing some b roll, doing four or five shots. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know, that's just how I can help serve our

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Speaker 1: marriage a little bit.

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Speaker 6: Well, and this is your first podcast, my very first podcast.

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Speaker 4: Wow, he's not a he's real with Kevin back and so, uh,

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Speaker 4: we're gonna go back. We're gonna go back on how

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Speaker 4: did y'all meet? And I know it's always two sides

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Speaker 4: of the story, So I'm gonna ask you, Brittany, to lead.

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Speaker 4: How did you meet old Kevin?

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Speaker 2: So I'm trying to think this was about twenty sixteen,

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Speaker 2: and my liing.

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Speaker 3: Sister was like, Oh, you know, there's this guy at

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Speaker 3: my church. He's so nice. You have to meet him.

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Speaker 2: He's gonna be the godfather of my baby. She's pregnant

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Speaker 2: at the time her husband were having a little boy, and.

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Speaker 3: So she was like, you have to meet him. He's wonderful.

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Speaker 3: She was like, and I know he likes dark skinned women,

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Speaker 3: and so she was just like naming all.

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Speaker 4: So what city and state is this?

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Speaker 2: They're in Columbus, Ohio at this point, I'm in Atlanta, Okay,

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Speaker 2: so and I was, you know, like, girl, we won't

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Speaker 2: even live again. But she's like, no, I like living

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Speaker 2: the same place. And she was like, no, well, you

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Speaker 2: guys can call you so nice. So she gives I

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Speaker 2: think she gives him my number.

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Speaker 3: I think he calls first of both.

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Speaker 2: Oh yes, yes, it wasn't even a good picture either.

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Speaker 2: Actually it was you and the good thing is that

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Speaker 2: you're a better in person.

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Speaker 3: It was not like it was not the best picture.

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Speaker 2: And I actually remember showing it to my mama and

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Speaker 2: she was.

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Speaker 3: Like, he, look, you know this, this is a nice picture.

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Speaker 3: You know people do that. It's not good. It really

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Speaker 3: was not a good picture. But I went on.

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Speaker 2: At the time he had had social media, he had

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Speaker 2: five pictures up so when he was a little five

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Speaker 2: pictures and it was a much better picture.

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Speaker 3: And so he ended up calling.

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Speaker 2: He ended up calling, and we ended up talking. At

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Speaker 2: that point, I think you were at like a church

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Speaker 2: cookout or I don't know, he was graduation.

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Speaker 3: It was something like that.

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Speaker 1: Ye, speaking of doing too much. Literally, I'm at a

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Speaker 1: youth cookout on one of Wednesday or whatever, and I'm

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Speaker 1: calling her, trying to talk to her while I'm flipping burgers.

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Speaker 2: He was, he was, he was on the grill, I was,

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Speaker 2: And I remember saying to him when he called, he

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Speaker 2: was like, hey, you know my lost sister, Sheelene and

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Speaker 2: shout out Slane. He was like, Shelena gave me your number,

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Speaker 2: you know, and I'm just wanting to reach out.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, okay.

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Speaker 2: I was like, well, I'm trying to get married, so

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Speaker 2: if you're not trying to get married, like, won't have

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Speaker 2: to talk.

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Speaker 3: He was like, okay, well, hell.

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Speaker 1: Exactly what's color?

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Speaker 2: So anyway, and he was like, well, I mean, I'm

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Speaker 2: not like, I don't know if I'm trying to get

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Speaker 2: married like tomorrow, but if I see something good, I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to let it pass you by.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, I guess I could work.

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Speaker 2: With that, because she said I'm something good, so you

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Speaker 2: better recognize.

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Speaker 1: I needed time to recognize it was there. But the

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Speaker 1: first sentence, you know.

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Speaker 5: And how did that make you feel when she said

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Speaker 5: that just so kind of you know, initially and directly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it caught me off guard.

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Speaker 4: I mean.

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Speaker 1: And it wasn't just her saying it was a tone

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Speaker 1: when she said it was like, my god, I'm looking

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Speaker 1: to get married, so you need to figure this out asap.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I guess I got two three weeks. It

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Speaker 1: didn't seem like I had like a long time.

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Speaker 4: But it did.

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Speaker 1: It did truly set up Okay, this is what she's

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Speaker 1: here for. Least I knew going into it. This kind

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Speaker 1: of girl I'm dealing with.

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Speaker 3: But I also want to plan it now what I

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Speaker 3: do it that way? Again?

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Speaker 2: Maybe not, but it did set the tone for our relationship,

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Speaker 2: and it's gonna come back around.

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Speaker 1: We get it's gonna come back a while to come

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Speaker 1: back around. We are here today, and.

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Speaker 4: So and so when you were you marriage minded during

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Speaker 4: that time?

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Speaker 1: I was not. I always knew that I wanted to

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Speaker 1: be married, but I was not pressed. And how old

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Speaker 1: were you at the time, Let's put it in perspective,

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Speaker 1: mid twenties.

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Speaker 4: So mid twenties, and you like, I'm gonna get married

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Speaker 4: one day. But ain't you know you didn't put in

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Speaker 4: your mind I'm going to be married by thirty I'm

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Speaker 4: gonna be married by thirty five. And we said, if

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Speaker 4: the good thing comes along, then I ain't gonna I'll

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Speaker 4: marry it right.

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Speaker 1: And it wasn't like an age thing for me. It's

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Speaker 1: more so when I feel like I'm prepared to be there,

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Speaker 1: when I'm in a good space, which is why I

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Speaker 1: was doing so many things to get myself prepared, to

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Speaker 1: be able to be a provider for someone, a preach

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Speaker 1: for someone, protect her. That was what I was doing

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Speaker 1: in my mid twenty So I was not focused on

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Speaker 1: I need to get married today. It was more so,

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Speaker 1: let me get myself and get myself together so that

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Speaker 1: I can present myself the best.

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Speaker 4: Let me ask you this, because a lot of men

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Speaker 4: say that a lot of women don't really understand what

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Speaker 4: that truly means. You say, prepare myself. What did it

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Speaker 4: look like to prepare yourself financially? Because some people may say,

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Speaker 4: as long as you have a job, then you can

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Speaker 4: take care of somebody. Then somebody be like, no, I

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Speaker 4: have to have a job that an x amount of

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Speaker 4: money savings. Somebody may say I got to have a house,

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Speaker 4: a job, a house, and some moneyset like, so what

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Speaker 4: did that look like for you?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for me, it was it wasn't about the number

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Speaker 1: of it but it was what I was building towards.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to definitely have investments. I did want

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Speaker 1: to have a savings. I wanted to have a stable job.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to have a house where she could come

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Speaker 1: and live in and be prepared for that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I think I bought my house at twenty five.

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Speaker 1: My first I was twenty five. So I was getting

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Speaker 1: myself prepared to be able to support what would be

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Speaker 1: a family at some point. So it wasn't I need

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Speaker 1: to have a six figure job. I need to have

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Speaker 1: X number, but it's more so and my stable and

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Speaker 1: I have to take here myself first. And do I have

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Speaker 1: enough to care of someone.

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Speaker 4: Else at that time? Could you take care of yourself?

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Speaker 1: I could at that time.

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Speaker 4: Could you take care of somebody else?

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Speaker 1: Depends on who it was was, depends on what they

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Speaker 1: required attle longer. Yeah, so I wasn't there yet.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. So, and you know this, when y'all in the

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Speaker 4: earlier part of y'all dating.

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Speaker 3: Did I know that he was working toward all?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: No, I don't think he had words to articulate to me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah what what he just articulated you all?

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Speaker 2: I definitely knew that he was mature. I mean, my

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Speaker 2: lone sister knew me well enough to know that I

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Speaker 2: didn't play, and I think that and so I was

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Speaker 2: not going to be dating just anybody. So I knew

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Speaker 2: that if she had recommended recommended him, that it must

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Speaker 2: have been that he, you know, was a was a

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Speaker 2: solid person.

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Speaker 3: I took her at her word for that. I don't

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Speaker 3: like I said.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I knew that he was working

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Speaker 2: towards all those things, but I thought, for sure, it's

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Speaker 2: worth the it's worth the conversation.

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Speaker 3: I want to wait real quick.

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Speaker 5: I want to unpack why did you say that you

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Speaker 5: wouldn't say it the same way again, because I know

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Speaker 5: a lot of women who are dating. They're very intentional,

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Speaker 5: and I'm really curious why you said, in hindsight you

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Speaker 5: wouldn't say it that way.

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Speaker 3: I think I would have.

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Speaker 2: I think I would have said hello, and then maybe

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Speaker 2: would have soft pedaled it a little bit, you know,

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Speaker 2: maybe gone through kind of the first conversation because a

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Speaker 2: couple of things.

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Speaker 3: I do think you can.

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Speaker 2: Kind of tell what people are after by the conversation.

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Speaker 2: You don't exactly have to be like, hey, are you

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Speaker 2: trying to I could just see what you're talking about.

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Speaker 2: If you ain't talking about nothing, I can go on.

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Speaker 2: So I think I've probably have done that differently, And

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Speaker 2: I think if I would have, if I would have

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Speaker 2: broached the subject, I think maybe i'd tried to have

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Speaker 2: a soft their tone.

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Speaker 3: I think it probably.

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Speaker 2: Would have been received a little bit better, because I

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Speaker 2: don't think I think men who are serious don't have

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Speaker 2: a problem with women looking for a direction that part.

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Speaker 2: But I think that there is a way that you

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Speaker 2: can articulate that. I think there's a way that you

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Speaker 2: can ask and I think that there's a way that

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Speaker 2: you can defer that lets people know, hey, I'm willing

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Speaker 2: to follow your lead.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because I always say that a woman wants a

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Speaker 4: man to operate in his masculinity. But if you start

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Speaker 4: off leading, you're operating your masculinity. Let that man lead,

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Speaker 4: see if he has the abilities to lead. If you

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Speaker 4: start saying, well, no, you need to do this and this,

334
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Speaker 4: he like, so, okay, take off the trashy so and

335
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Speaker 4: if you sit back and say, all right, I'm gonna

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Speaker 4: let him reveal to me who he is and then

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Speaker 4: you make an informed decision. There's nothing wrong with making

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Speaker 4: an informed decision. Where you say, as you're getting to

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Speaker 4: you know, to know him, and you ask questions like so, like,

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Speaker 4: if you met the right one, how long will it

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Speaker 4: take you to take it off of you? If you

342
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Speaker 4: met the right one, how long will it take you

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Speaker 4: to get married? I mean it's gonna have to be

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Speaker 4: at least about tooth years. And if that don't meet

345
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Speaker 4: your timeline, you say, you tell me you can meet

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Speaker 4: God can bring the person in your life that you

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Speaker 4: believe is the one, and no matter what, it's going

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Speaker 4: to take you two to three years to actually do

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Speaker 4: what or to even propose. Okay, And you're looking at

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Speaker 4: your biological clock and said that don't work for me.

351
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Speaker 4: Nothing wrong with him, nothing wrong with you, just not

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Speaker 4: aligned by timeline, and you make an informed decision to

353
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Speaker 4: be like, well, you know what, I just you know,

354
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Speaker 4: I think I'm looking for something different what you're looking for. Well,

355
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Speaker 4: I'm looking for someone that can recognize me early on.

356
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Speaker 4: And I can't give nobody longer than a year. I

357
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Speaker 4: can't give nobody longer than whatever it is.

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Speaker 7: And he said, all right, cool, And you find it's

359
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Speaker 7: like I love mature conversations like that, so that everybody

360
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Speaker 7: can make an informed decision and go their separate ways,

361
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Speaker 7: no hard feelings.

362
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Speaker 4: And so after that initial phone conversation, what happened?

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Speaker 2: So we started at that point we started probably the

364
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:59,520
Speaker 2: conversation went well and we started talking on the phone more. Now,

365
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Speaker 2: mind you, we had not seen each other at this point,

366
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Speaker 2: so we were just talking, just had exchange pictures. I

367
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,960
Speaker 2: think we did a couple of facetimes maybe, And so

368
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,360
Speaker 2: then this was in maybe July, so I think we

369
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Speaker 2: had talked for about a month maybe. So yeah, So

370
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Speaker 2: it's August at this point, and it was like a Tuesday,

371
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Speaker 2: and he was like, what are you doing on Saturday?

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Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, I think I'm doing anything.

373
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Speaker 3: And he's like okay.

374
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Speaker 2: He's like, well, I'm gonna I'm gonna come down. I

375
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Speaker 2: want to see you. And I was like okay.

376
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Speaker 3: I was like so, I was like, well, what you're

377
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:27,320
Speaker 3: gonna do?

378
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:28,560
Speaker 2: Where are you gonna stay? He was like, I'm just

379
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Speaker 2: gonna come for the day. I'm flying for the day.

380
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Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, let's pause there. So it's

381
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Speaker 1: a Tuesday, which means I didn't have my flight yet.

382
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,600
Speaker 1: This is from Columbus, Ohio to Georgia, so that would

383
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Speaker 1: tell you, hey, he's serious. He's willing to pay high

384
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,360
Speaker 1: prices from get there on Saturday, and I'm coming down

385
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Speaker 1: for just one day. I can get on a flight

386
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Speaker 1: for a date continue leave the same day. Yeah, because

387
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Speaker 1: because I was too busy.

388
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,040
Speaker 4: I was too busy.

389
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Speaker 1: We had on that Friday night, we had an all

390
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Speaker 1: nighter at the church church, so I stayed up all

391
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Speaker 1: night on Friday. My flight was at probably nine o'clock,

392
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Speaker 1: so I left the church when the last kid left

393
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Speaker 1: at seven, went to the airport. God Will, showered and stuff,

394
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,840
Speaker 1: but then went to the airport, got on the plane,

395
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Speaker 1: and we started having our date that Saturday. Spent the

396
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Speaker 1: whole day with her, but I had to be back

397
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Speaker 1: for church on Sunday, so flew back Sunday or Saturday

398
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Speaker 1: night and went to church on Sunday.

399
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,600
Speaker 2: He did wow, So he flew down and I came

400
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,320
Speaker 2: and I picked him up. He was gonna rent a car,

401
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:31,800
Speaker 2: but I was like, no, You've already paid for the fight,

402
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,240
Speaker 2: so I'll just come pick you up from the airport.

403
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,439
Speaker 2: And I was calling my mom because you know, like

404
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,840
Speaker 2: I said, I hadn't seen him in person, and so

405
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,280
Speaker 2: I was on the phone my mom and I was

406
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:42,440
Speaker 2: like riding through the little where the arrivals come out.

407
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Speaker 4: Uh huh okay.

408
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,000
Speaker 2: And at that time I was actually living with my

409
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 2: parents and so I was like told her I was

410
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,200
Speaker 2: going to meet this guy or whatever.

411
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:50,919
Speaker 3: She knew he was.

412
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,360
Speaker 2: But anyway, so I'm like waiting on him to come out,

413
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,360
Speaker 2: and like, yeah, I see this man. And I was like,

414
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,600
Speaker 2: I said, baby, I'm about to keep driving because.

415
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 3: They did him. I'm gonna have the leaving here is

416
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,840
Speaker 3: where it's not gonna worry. She was like, you cannot

417
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:07,640
Speaker 3: do that, and so anyway, it wasn't he. I was like, well,

418
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:08,800
Speaker 3: where is this going out?

419
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,160
Speaker 2: He finally comes out, and I think we went to

420
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Speaker 2: like some like little small restaurant and so we did

421
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,920
Speaker 2: that and and it was it was like a really

422
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,840
Speaker 2: enjoyable first day. It was a long first day because

423
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,200
Speaker 2: you stayed all days. It was maybe six eight hours.

424
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Speaker 2: So we ate twice and like walked.

425
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Speaker 1: Around to the movie.

426
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, went to movies, went to the mall, like just

427
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,119
Speaker 2: kind of hung out. And then he got back on

428
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,560
Speaker 2: the plane.

429
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,760
Speaker 3: And then after that labor day was.

430
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,120
Speaker 4: Over before you get there, how did y'all feel on.

431
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,720
Speaker 3: That first date? I, Oh, that's actually a great point.

432
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Speaker 2: I told my mom when I got back home from

433
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Speaker 2: the first day. I was like, this is my husband,

434
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,399
Speaker 2: you did, and she went because he was everything I

435
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 2: had prayed for, and I was very specific. I was

436
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,639
Speaker 2: very specific in what I prayed for, and so I knew,

437
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,280
Speaker 2: and because I have super high standards and so I know,

438
00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:59,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, if I meet a person in a flight,

439
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:01,520
Speaker 2: it's like my standard.

440
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,719
Speaker 3: I know. Like I was like, this is my husband,

441
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 3: and she was like, okay. I came back and told her.

442
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,520
Speaker 1: She was like, all right, So but I knew.

443
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:08,760
Speaker 3: I always said I can tell.

444
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,040
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna say I can tell it was in

445
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 2: the first fifteen minutes updating a person, whether or not,

446
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,480
Speaker 2: or meeting a person or not, whether or not they're

447
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,119
Speaker 2: my husband, but I can tell if they're not. And

448
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,000
Speaker 2: so like, if I meet you in five minutes, I

449
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,360
Speaker 2: can tell by the stuff you start saying.

450
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's not gonna work. So I knew. I knew.

451
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 3: I was like, this is my husband. I think I

452
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 3: met him. So she said, okay, But it was it

453
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 3: was a really enjoy So you.

454
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,919
Speaker 4: Really felt like that. Have you ever felt like that before?

455
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 4: And so you so when you told your mama that

456
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,400
Speaker 4: she just she was just like kay, yeah.

457
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 3: Cause she probably was like this girl girl went on

458
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 3: this little date. You don't know this man. You know,

459
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 3: she's like whatever.

460
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,159
Speaker 2: My daddy would always say, because you know, you'd be like,

461
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 2: it's just puppy love. My dad would be like, well,

462
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:48,920
Speaker 2: still love to the puppy.

463
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:56,600
Speaker 3: Like they just was like love to the puffy. So

464
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:57,200
Speaker 3: I was like.

465
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,640
Speaker 4: Well, I like that would start using it shot out tell.

466
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,920
Speaker 3: So after that I went. We planned our next date,

467
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,080
Speaker 3: which was Labor Day.

468
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,200
Speaker 1: The first date, I felt like it went well. I

469
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 1: wasn't over overly excited. I'm like, man, this this could

470
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,160
Speaker 1: work because I'm slow motion, so like I'm not going

471
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 1: to run into anything too quick. But I enjoyed myself.

472
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,119
Speaker 1: I had a good time. But in the back of mind,

473
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:21,640
Speaker 1: it's like, man, she still wants to get married.

474
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,440
Speaker 4: I still thought about week.

475
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, man, so doesn't mean now we saw each

476
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,800
Speaker 1: other and we're getting married soon. But I knew that

477
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,480
Speaker 1: I wanted to continue and it was worth it was

478
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 1: worth the trip. It was it was worth the travel.

479
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 4: All right. And so you said cool pressure You was like,

480
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 4: this is my husband, but you never communicated.

481
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,159
Speaker 3: That I did not tell him that I wasn't that crazy.

482
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,160
Speaker 3: I did not tell him.

483
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:49,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know my husband run.

484
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,040
Speaker 5: I want to ask, because a lot of women may

485
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,480
Speaker 5: not know, or they may not have the same philosophy.

486
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,679
Speaker 6: Why, in your opinion, why is it?

487
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,200
Speaker 5: Why do you recommend or why did you decide not

488
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 5: to tell him what you knew?

489
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 2: Because one, because I wanted a confirm it that was

490
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 2: what I felt, but I wanted to get Time will

491
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,200
Speaker 2: confirm a lot of things if you let it.

492
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,159
Speaker 3: And then two, I think because it will scare people.

493
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 2: And as you'll also find out later in the story,

494
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 2: I feel like if Kevin is my husband, God will

495
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 2: tell him the same thing.

496
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,440
Speaker 3: I don't have to tell him that.

497
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 2: And everybody, and this is something that I learned on

498
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 2: the back end as well. Everybody has the right to

499
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,640
Speaker 2: arrive when they're supposed to the right to arrive at hey,

500
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 2: I'm ready to be married, the right to arrive at hey,

501
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,479
Speaker 2: you are the person I'm supposed to be married too.

502
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 2: You cannot rush people down the aisle. You can't make

503
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,959
Speaker 2: people have a revelation about who you are and your value.

504
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,800
Speaker 2: They're either going to see it in the timing that

505
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,399
Speaker 2: they're supposed to see it or they're not. And I

506
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 2: just I knew telling him was not gonna convey.

507
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,640
Speaker 1: It would have slowed it down. It would have sloawed down.

508
00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,880
Speaker 4: And so then what happened. So you said the second

509
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 4: was on you said Labor Day.

510
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 2: Labor Day, we met his I went to Ohio this

511
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 2: last the second time and met his family. Yeah, so

512
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 2: that's how I knew, you know, I was like, and

513
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 2: I think it was that he asked I think he

514
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 2: asked me to be your girlfriend that weekend.

515
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 1: I did.

516
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,880
Speaker 4: Let me ask you, why you introduce her to your family?

517
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 1: That's a good question, because I'm wonderful you are. You

518
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:26,680
Speaker 1: are wonderful.

519
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,959
Speaker 4: Bad that's right, But that's a big step to a

520
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,679
Speaker 4: lot of guys. Some guys they mama be in on it,

521
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 4: so they didn't be bringing different women through that. But

522
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:38,359
Speaker 4: if you have these values and you introduce you the

523
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,479
Speaker 4: mama and the family, then that's saying something you can

524
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,879
Speaker 4: say just your mama, you said family, Yeah.

525
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 1: Mom and dad, brother, sister, everybody. Yeah, everybody. Family, friends

526
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 1: were all just in there having a good time. It

527
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 1: was a little cookout, But I mean I did feel

528
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,000
Speaker 1: that this could go somewhere and I wanted to make

529
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 1: sure that I do have a strong community and so

530
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 1: that at least get some Hey, this is I'm pursuing this.

531
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 1: What I'm thinking about. What do you guys think?

532
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:06,919
Speaker 4: So you were submitting to wise counsel.

533
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 1: I always do. I always do. I always listen to

534
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 1: it and follow through. No, I will receive wise counsel.

535
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 1: And I think lad in the story, we'll talk about

536
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 1: how that kind of played out. But I think ultimately

537
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,680
Speaker 1: being able to have people in your life who can

538
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 1: give you that wise counsel, that valley counselor to say, hey,

539
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 1: you need to go this way, this this part of

540
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,439
Speaker 1: the direction and have discernment and we've been there before.

541
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:32,920
Speaker 1: It helps out a lot.

542
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 4: So what they say about it when they met him,

543
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 4: they loved her. And then what did you think about

544
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 4: his family?

545
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 2: I like him, I mean, and I met them initially,

546
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,879
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, they're like there's it was just different.

547
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,199
Speaker 2: I think it was all different. They're from Ohio. Just

548
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 2: my family is very Southern. His family is just different,

549
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 2: but in a good way. Like and I got to

550
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 2: experience Ohio. I just got to like see what they

551
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 2: were like and what they do. I think we've gone Apple,

552
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,160
Speaker 2: We've done Ohio.

553
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 4: And so when y'all left after that, after you left,

554
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 4: that moment that that confirmed even more? Was that another

555
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 4: bit of confirmation?

556
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 2: Well, actually, i'm gonna tell you what was another big

557
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,719
Speaker 2: confirmation was I think maybe our third or fourth day,

558
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 2: Kevin came down and I had, y'all, I don't know

559
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 2: what I am. I don't know what I ingested, but

560
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 2: I ingested something and it made me have angio edema.

561
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 2: I don't know if y'all familiar with it. It's like

562
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 2: it's basically like a reaction, like an allergic reaction to

563
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 2: something almost but like if.

564
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 3: You've seen Hitch, you know it was.

565
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 1: I woke.

566
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 3: I'm not kidding y'all. I got a picture. I'm sure

567
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 3: with y'all. We were supposed to be going on a

568
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,200
Speaker 3: day and I will In the middle of the night, I.

569
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 2: Was like, my lip feels like really tight, like I

570
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 2: don't know what's happening.

571
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 3: So I got up and I went to the mare

572
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh my god, and it was like, y'all,

573
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 3: it was like this bit, I'm not kidding you.

574
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 2: I wish if I have my fun irs so huge.

575
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 1: It was.

576
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 3: Like here so I remember I told you how to

577
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 3: stay with my parents. So I was like, oh my gosh.

578
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 2: I ran said, my mom's a nurse. I ran upstairs

579
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 2: to her room and I was like, mom, look at

580
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 2: my face, and she was sleeping.

581
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:09,679
Speaker 3: She was like, oh my god.

582
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:10,680
Speaker 4: You know.

583
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 3: I was like, don't do that. Left, and so my

584
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 3: daddy was like, what's wrong with your face? He was

585
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 3: like you look like somebody heart And I was like

586
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:20,440
Speaker 3: I don't know.

587
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 2: And so I called him and I was like, I know,

588
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 2: we're supposed to were supposed to go to the tape

589
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 2: in a Family for You with Steve Harvey.

590
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 3: You know you can watch it live. And I was like,

591
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 3: Steve Harvey's gonna talk about me so bad I cannot go.

592
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 3: And so we did not go.

593
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 2: We went to the movie theater because it was dark

594
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,199
Speaker 2: and it was I looked ridiculous.

595
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,920
Speaker 3: It was, and but he he made me feel good

596
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 3: about it.

597
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:45,440
Speaker 4: And on the day did I know most people would

598
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 4: never do that.

599
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 2: The only reason I still went was because he had

600
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 2: flown down from a high.

601
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 3: If he would have just been in Atlanta, I would

602
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 3: have been like to reschedule, to reschedule. So we went

603
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:56,360
Speaker 3: on and went.

604
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 6: How did it feel like letting him see you that way?

605
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: I was.

606
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 2: I was nervous at first, and then I was like

607
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 2: kind of embarrassed.

608
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 3: But you know when he did you laugh at me?

609
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 1: No, I didn't laughed at you in front of you.

610
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 2: But once I start, for the most part, he was like,

611
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,200
Speaker 2: you know, he's very gentle. I was like, okay, this

612
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,199
Speaker 2: is a good sign. And so I was like, I

613
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:23,400
Speaker 2: just had to make the best of.

614
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 4: It at that point because at that point, y'all have

615
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 4: been knowing each other for how long?

616
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 1: Probably four months? It was early. It was a few months,

617
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: so it got real early.

618
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,919
Speaker 3: So at that point I was like, Okay, you know,

619
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 3: this feels good.

620
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,640
Speaker 2: And we were already obviously in a relationship at that point,

621
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,919
Speaker 2: so we just kind of kept talking. We just kept talking,

622
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:50,400
Speaker 2: probably up until we until his schedule started to get

623
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 2: to become too much, and it kind of that's when

624
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 2: the tension kind.

625
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 3: Of started to I guess it started.

626
00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 2: There was friction there. I guess it's a good way

627
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 2: to put it. He had a lot, he was working.

628
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 2: It was busy season at his firm. He was teaching

629
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 2: a class, he was at the church, he was doing

630
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:11,880
Speaker 2: the King James tournament.

631
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 3: The King James Turner was in a completely different part

632
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 3: of Ohio. So he was driving like up and.

633
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,680
Speaker 4: Down the road explaining what the King James Tournament is.

634
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 1: So, it's a it's a basketball tournament for au So

635
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 1: a high school friend of my dad's who coaches basketball.

636
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 1: He runs a tournament where probably two to three hundred

637
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,959
Speaker 1: teams come in to play at one weekend. And so

638
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 1: because we had the relationship with them, we helped support it,

639
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 1: you know, do back end stuff to be just be

640
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 1: a part of the tournament.

641
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 4: Okay, are you talking about Lebron James. Correct, that's all

642
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 4: like a Bible actually Bible tournaments and.

643
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:57,959
Speaker 6: Must be a Midwestern.

644
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:00,919
Speaker 3: Like Lebron and everybody from Ohio.

645
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 1: That was bis A, it's a basketball.

646
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 4: Super saved time. As I was having Bible quiz in

647
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 4: this it used to being I used to be involved

648
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,239
Speaker 4: in that and so and so it got busy. Let

649
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 4: me ask you this four months end, when you said

650
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 4: that he had to be serious about you, that you

651
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 4: have a premediated time or a shot clock, saying he

652
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 4: needs to propose at.

653
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: This time, kind of.

654
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 2: It was like that he needs to propose, But I

655
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,639
Speaker 2: am definitely a person that like it, don't take it,

656
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 2: don't take all that.

657
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 4: But what that looked like in your mind, what you

658
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 4: had stayed with him for three years? Is that too long?

659
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 3: Probably? I probably would not have stayed for three years.

660
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 4: What about one?

661
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 3: I would have saved for one?

662
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 4: So one year.

663
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 3: I don't remember I remembering that.

664
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 1: I remember going down. It didn't go we had to.

665
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 4: So in your mind, you didn't have a time.

666
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 3: I had about a year.

667
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 4: So you had a year for a ring, yes, okay,

668
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 4: a year.

669
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 2: I might have given him a few extra months had

670
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 2: he communicated it well to like save up for a

671
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 2: ring or something like.

672
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 4: Okay, So as long as communication and intention attached to communication,

673
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 4: then you'll say, all right, cool, I can rock with this.

674
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 3: Yes.

675
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 2: Where I think we got messed up was at that

676
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 2: time I was not mature enough to I'm gonna just

677
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 2: keep it one hundred. You don't really do well when

678
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 2: I'm not a priority.

679
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 3: That don't work for me.

680
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 2: So I just was not mature enough to not, you know,

681
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 2: to just be okay with like taking a back seat

682
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 2: at that time. And I probably looking back now, I

683
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 2: probably could have just been like, it's a busy season,

684
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 2: it's a season, and it will pass, and how can

685
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 2: I support him because he has a lot of things

686
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 2: going on. I think maturity would have been the first

687
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 2: part of maturity would have been him listening to me

688
00:29:58,120 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 2: when I do I'm not to do all those things

689
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 2: because I'm you have too many things on your schedule

690
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 2: and not going to be able to do them all.

691
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 3: And I was correct about that, but I now know

692
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 3: that sometimes you have to let the Lord tell people's stuff.

693
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 3: You know.

694
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 2: It was not my place, i think, to tell him

695
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 2: the way in the way that I was trying to

696
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 2: tell me. I don't even know that we had enough

697
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 2: relational equity at the time for me to ey, you know,

698
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 2: for me to say, hey, you need to listen to me,

699
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 2: you need to arrange your priorities this way.

700
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 3: You know. We have been dating probably six.

701
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 2: Months, and he's probably like this girl know what she's

702
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 2: talking about. I've been living my life like this and it's.

703
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 3: Been working out for me, you know.

704
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 2: And so I think that again, I could have soft

705
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 2: pedaled it a little bit more. I think that I

706
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 2: could have prayed about it and just been like, God,

707
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 2: what do you want me to do? How do I

708
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 2: support him and let him see for himself, because this

709
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 2: is the thing. If he has overpacked his schedule, he's

710
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:52,719
Speaker 2: going to figure that out when he starts missing things,

711
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 2: when he wears himself down. And it's like, I don't

712
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 2: always have to be the person to communicate that.

713
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 3: I can just let you see and then we can

714
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 3: go forward.

715
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 2: And I just had not. I did not have the

716
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 2: maturity to understand that at that point. So I'm certain

717
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 2: that had I not been as vocal as I was,

718
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 2: we might have been able to stay together. But I

719
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 2: think that coupled with him trying to manage his priorities,

720
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 2: and I think at twenty six, you're still trying to

721
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 2: really build a career and like find your footing. It

722
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 2: was a lot, and all of it was like the

723
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 2: perfect storm.

724
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 4: Give us a flashback. How did you communicate to him

725
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:27,720
Speaker 4: at that time?

726
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 3: I was like, you didn't miss two visits? Now because

727
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 3: what so what are you doing? And then he's like, well,

728
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 3: you know, just a church, just weakend and.

729
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 2: Like and so I was like, yeah, I know, but

730
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 2: I tell you not to do all that stuff to

731
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 2: begin with, So I don't really I would yeah, like.

732
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 4: I don't if.

733
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 2: You would just listen to me, you know, like so

734
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 2: I'm certain it was something along those lines. And then

735
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,040
Speaker 2: he was supposed to come down for Valentine's Day and

736
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 2: he missed it.

737
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 4: Kevin, I took, I took it, took.

738
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's one.

739
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 4: Yeah.

740
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 1: But and I guess, to be candid, I didn't recognize

741
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 1: how big it was because I'm not a holiday person

742
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 1: like that for me, even in our marriage now, I

743
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: celebrate her all year round.

744
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 3: He did.

745
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,719
Speaker 1: So for me, do I need to take one day

746
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: out that somebody decided to do? But it means something

747
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: to her, and recognizing that means something to her make

748
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 1: it a priority. And so I think in the entirety

749
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 1: of the first I guess dating experience, she I feel

750
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 1: like she was so focused on getting to marriage and

751
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 1: not growing in relationship. And so I mean it was

752
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 1: to the point where, Okay, if we're getting married, we

753
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 1: can change your kitchen to do this, we can do

754
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 1: them like no, this is month six, and like even

755
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 1: months six, it doesn't feel like months because you're long distance.

756
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: So at this time I've only seen it maybe four times.

757
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 1: So yeah, because we saw it for maybe once.

758
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 4: A month.

759
00:32:58,480 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 3: Beginning.

760
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:00,120
Speaker 4: Either way, I guess I'm.

761
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: Saying six months I saw you eight times. It's still

762
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: not a lot of time for me, is what I thought.

763
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 1: So I thought I had time, and you were twenty

764
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 1: six or twenty six. So I'm really trying to get

765
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 1: my career off the ground, build who I am as

766
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 1: a person a few years out of college at this point,

767
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 1: and so she's a few years older than me, but

768
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 1: still just trying to figure out can we just learn

769
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 1: about the relationship each other and not about the end goal.

770
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 1: And so I think that on top of my schedule

771
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: being too busy not making her a priority, because I

772
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 1: could have made it work. I really could have.

773
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 4: But I'm like, it's like, how's that gonna happen during

774
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 4: fifty million.

775
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 1: Me a meeting. I'm saying I could have made her

776
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 1: a priority and drop something.

777
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 4: Else, Okay, you have to drop something correct.

778
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 1: And decided to show up for Valentine's Day and just

779
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 1: to show up to do these things. But I was like,

780
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 1: you know what, she's pushing me in pressure on marriage.

781
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 1: Now it's getting too much. So now it's like, is

782
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 1: the priority really her? Probably not. She might have been

783
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 1: second at that time because at that time it was

784
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 1: a promotion year for me at work, So I was

785
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 1: really focused on just I want to get promoted. I

786
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 1: know this is going to help me in the long run. Whoever,

787
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 1: my wife is happy that I get to this level.

788
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 1: At some point, I felt like I was called in

789
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 1: certain ministries. I was on our TRUSTe board our church,

790
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 1: so I was really involved instee board, trust board twenty

791
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:16,840
Speaker 1: six Yeah. Wow, So I felt like accountant correct. So

792
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 1: I've always felt like God called him be a servant leader,

793
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 1: and so it happened early for me at that church

794
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:23,319
Speaker 1: and be able to do that. So I felt like

795
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:25,800
Speaker 1: I was in the right space. So it's almost tension

796
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 1: for me where I feel like I'm in my right calling.

797
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,879
Speaker 1: Maybe my wife has pushed me somewhere differently, So there's

798
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 1: tension there, but there's a way still to make it

799
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 1: a priority and make everybody in the right space. And

800
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 1: I think at the same time our mentor talks about

801
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,239
Speaker 1: God's will weigh and timing. I don't know. I think

802
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 1: the will was correct. I think the way I got

803
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 1: a little bit incorrect, but the timing wasn't there, and

804
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 1: so tech the timing on round two of us really

805
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: getting back together is where I think it all made

806
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 1: sense to me in align in a better space.

807
00:34:56,320 --> 00:35:00,919
Speaker 4: So I want to ask you this, ask both y'all

808
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 4: this question. What did y'all's past relationships look like that

809
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 4: brought y'all to this season? So like, because sometimes a

810
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,840
Speaker 4: woman may have spent too much time with the wrong person,

811
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 4: so then they bleed on the next person, like, I'm

812
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 4: not wasting another three years with the wrong person, so

813
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 4: you better do this. He's like God Lord like the

814
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 4: pressure so that you experience anything like that where you

815
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 4: told yourself, I'm not going to waste another two years,

816
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 4: three years, whatever it was, and you said, my next

817
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 4: relationship he has to be intentional from the beginning. It

818
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 4: has to be this. It's certain things that because you

819
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 4: said everything that you wanted he was except for this

820
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:47,319
Speaker 4: big thing, which is this timing thing and prioritization because

821
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 4: you said, I'm be honest with you, I like to

822
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 4: be prioritized, and any time somebody showed me that, I

823
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 4: just may be like a little girl throw a temp potentium.

824
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 3: So it's likes you.

825
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 4: So was anything in your past that made you come

826
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,879
Speaker 4: to this version of you? Or have you always been

827
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 4: like that?

828
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 3: A little bit of both.

829
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,839
Speaker 2: No, I don't think I had any particular relationship where

830
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 2: I necessarily felt like somebody wasted my time. But for me,

831
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 2: because I am a lover like and I'm a very

832
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:20,240
Speaker 2: loyal person. When I love, I love hard and deep.

833
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 2: I didn't want to keep going through like you meet

834
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:24,919
Speaker 2: a person, it's like.

835
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 3: They're not the one.

836
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,799
Speaker 2: So I was like, I'm tired of doing this, Like, Lord,

837
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 2: I'm gonna just let you pick the next person I

838
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 2: be is gonna be my husband? Because a relationship is

839
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 2: too much of an emotional investment. There's too much energy required,

840
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 2: There's just too much, and so I just did not

841
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 2: desire to continue doing that and have it not work out.

842
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:45,800
Speaker 2: So so when I met Kevin, I had just said, like,

843
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 2: the next person I'm gonna beet is gonna be my husband.

844
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 3: And see that'd be the thing.

845
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 2: I don't know, you know, God will trying to play

846
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 2: you a little bit, because he was like, Okay, I

847
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 2: got you, and I met him and he was my husband.

848
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:57,319
Speaker 3: But then God was like, all right, get.

849
00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:00,760
Speaker 2: Him back, and so you know, we were like dating

850
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,839
Speaker 2: and when it started to like fizzle out, I was like,

851
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding, y'all. I woke up one morning and

852
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:12,360
Speaker 2: we had talked about it a little bit like, like,

853
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 2: that's not like me not being a priority and he

854
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:16,399
Speaker 2: was like no, you know, I'm serious about it, blah

855
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,320
Speaker 2: blah blah. And like it was like that Tuesday, I

856
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 2: think he had sent flowers to the house and he

857
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 2: was like, no reason, just because I think that's what

858
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 2: the note said. And then on Saturday I woke up

859
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 2: and God was like, break up with him, and I was.

860
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 3: Like but it was like God, yeah, and I had

861
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 3: already had so much. It was so much tension. I

862
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 3: started to really.

863
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 2: Just have like anxiety around it, like, which is something

864
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 2: that I know one of the ways that God speaks

865
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 2: to me, like when I have stayed too long or

866
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 2: when i'm not when I'm out of place or out

867
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 2: of step. And so I just started to have like

868
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 2: anxiety around and so I called him and I was

869
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,879
Speaker 2: just like, you know, we gotta like break up. And

870
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,760
Speaker 2: he was like what And I was like.

871
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,839
Speaker 3: You know, it's just like come not to priority blah

872
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 3: blah blah.

873
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:06,439
Speaker 2: And he was like I don't understand what she's talking about,

874
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 2: but okay, And so I think at that point he

875
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 2: was like he was mad. So then after I caught

876
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 2: and broke up with him, then I was like, well,

877
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 2: I'm just call him back and be like just kidding.

878
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 1: I'm saying, but she's not. She's not mentioning the part

879
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 1: that the day before, on Friday, we just had a

880
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 1: four hour conversation about trying to make this work. And

881
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: it was up to about like nine o'clock and then

882
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:31,400
Speaker 1: I get a call at eleven am. It's over. I'm like,

883
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 1: all right, if that's what we're doing, like I'm here

884
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 1: back and forth, like I'm telling you, I'm doing my best.

885
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:39,399
Speaker 1: I'm trying. But if we're vacillating like this, okay, cool,

886
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna push it.

887
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's really what happened.

888
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 4: And how did you feel? So when y'all when y'all

889
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 4: broke up, well, let me ask you to I want

890
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 4: to ask you about your past dating experiences. What did

891
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 4: that look like? You're only twenty six, so what did

892
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 4: that look like at that time?

893
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:57,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, it wasn't a it wasn't a deep dating experience

894
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 1: for me. I mean, I'm out one just a date

895
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 1: to date. I mean there were a few relationships that

896
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 1: I had. One thing I wanted all my relationships to

897
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 1: be was centered around Christ. That was my main I

898
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 1: grew up in the church. Family was always in church

899
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: there five days a week, so just naturally I was like,

900
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:16,800
Speaker 1: my wife, my girlfriends need to have some type of relationship.

901
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 1: Come to find out that a lot of them had

902
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 1: said they were Christians but didn't have the relationship. And

903
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,759
Speaker 1: so the one thing that drew me to Brittany was

904
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 1: her spirit, Like she truly had a god fearing relationship

905
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 1: and it was a daily one. So like, you know what,

906
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 1: this could work because it's something that's challenging me. And

907
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:39,359
Speaker 1: they've always taught about priests, provider protector. I'm like, well,

908
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 1: I'm the priests. I had have a strong spiritu relationship

909
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 1: because she does. So that grew me up faster to say, no,

910
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 1: what get yourself together. I mean, you're serving in church,

911
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 1: but do you have the strong relationship? So I think

912
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 1: my dating experience was geared around that, so it didn't

913
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 1: make a lot of mistakes there, but it wasn't. When

914
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 1: I saw something that I knew was correct and the

915
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 1: spirit was right, it made sense to try to make

916
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: it'll work.

917
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 4: That's good. And so when she called you and told

918
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:07,920
Speaker 4: you that, she said, it went to anger. What did

919
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 4: that look like where you like, forget this girl she

920
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 4: played with me. I don't want to talk to you

921
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 4: no more. I'm blocking you. How how did it get?

922
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 1: I was upset. I don't know if I was angry,

923
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 1: but I was upset just because of all the I mean.

924
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:21,879
Speaker 2: Trying to call you after that, when I was trying

925
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 2: to be like just kidding and you didn't even want

926
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 2: to talk to me, right, That is true?

927
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,919
Speaker 1: That is true because there was there were so many

928
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: times that we were I mean, I was taking time

929
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 1: out of my work schedule to have conversations and say okay,

930
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 1: like literally, I'm in our office and I'm talking the

931
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 1: phone for three hours and I come back to my

932
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 1: team's like you good. I'm like, just persons, I promise.

933
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:42,719
Speaker 4: You, sir.

934
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:45,840
Speaker 1: It was like three hours work because she had a

935
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 1: different work schedule. So like literally and now, granted though,

936
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 1: yeah we are working from like seven to seven or

937
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 1: Andre working latebody else off work. The team is there,

938
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 1: so it might have been five to eight, but it's

939
00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 1: still during the work time for us, and so like

940
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,279
Speaker 1: you good. I'm like, nah, it's personal matter, no cad,

941
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:03,879
Speaker 1: so I'm saying, and my mom I' making it.

942
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

943
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like man, I'm just trying, So I thought

944
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 1: to my bull, like man bro hours though we had

945
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,279
Speaker 1: a good cons I think I'm all right. So I'm

946
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 1: like going back and forth. All of that was a

947
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:16,520
Speaker 1: lot of energy.

948
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 4: So she said it's over.

949
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, I've tried. I probably didn't

950
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 1: fight as hard as I could have fault, but I'm like,

951
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: all right is what it is. So I mean the

952
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 1: next day I was I was a little salty.

953
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,800
Speaker 4: Let me ask you this because you said I maybe

954
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 4: didn't fight as hard as I could have fought. What

955
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 4: does that look like?

956
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 1: Man?

957
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:36,359
Speaker 4: What does fighting hard? Because a lot of women say

958
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 4: I want a man to fight for me, and sometimes

959
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,799
Speaker 4: you can fight for somebody to the point of toxicity

960
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:46,879
Speaker 4: to where now you're harming yourself fighting for them because

961
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 4: they she running away, She's like, I don't want this,

962
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 4: and if she's dealing with because she even said hindsight,

963
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 4: being twenty twenty, she felt like she was immature in

964
00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 4: the area of wanting to be prioritizing every way, so

965
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:03,479
Speaker 4: to speak, and saying that there's seasons to go through.

966
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 4: So then what could you have done hindsight from your

967
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 4: standpoint that would have caused you or the fight to

968
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 4: last a little longer.

969
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,399
Speaker 1: For ther Yeah, I think the fight would have looked

970
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 1: like healthy communication. It would have been saying, hey, I

971
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 1: have this stuff going on, I know you are a

972
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 1: priority to me. This hearty to show up and then

973
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 1: probably do that, not keep having conversations over and over again.

974
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,760
Speaker 1: I think she needed action to say, yes, you are priority.

975
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,879
Speaker 1: I'm saying that, but I'm gonna show you as well. Yeah,

976
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 1: and that could have been not missing Valentine's Day. That

977
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 1: could have been doing other things and not missing three trips.

978
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 1: Whatever it was so not keep pushing to stay, but

979
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 1: communicate better that this is where I'm at, this is

980
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:43,400
Speaker 1: what I can give to you. Are you okay with this?

981
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 4: When you look back on the missing the three trips?

982
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 4: What made you miss those? Like? Was it just I

983
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 4: was working? I didn't feel like I get on the plane,

984
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:56,360
Speaker 4: I was tired, Like, what what made you miss three trips?

985
00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:00,400
Speaker 1: I think it was she became priority number two because

986
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,760
Speaker 1: really the work was okay, there's work to be done.

987
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 1: It was super busy, there's church stuff going, there's always

988
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: something else I could have been doing. So because I

989
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 1: couldn't be like I just do this instead, it's easy

990
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 1: to do this instead. And because and because we have

991
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:15,840
Speaker 1: this tension going on right now about we're trying to

992
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,760
Speaker 1: get married, we're trying to do this, and that's pushing

993
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 1: me actually away. And then I didn't feel like, you know,

994
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:21,799
Speaker 1: I need to go ahead and make this priority, because

995
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 1: I mean the first date, I had no problem jumping

996
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:26,840
Speaker 1: on a plane from and doing that. But now that

997
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:30,359
Speaker 1: it became tension, then the priority slipped. And that's when

998
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,120
Speaker 1: she she started to feel that and I didn't even

999
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 1: knowice it was going that far away.

1000
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 4: That makes a whole lot of sense because now you're

1001
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 4: staying away from it because you have more peace away

1002
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 4: from it than being in the trenches of it. And

1003
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,319
Speaker 4: then so now fast forward, So y'all y'all broke up.

1004
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,360
Speaker 4: When y'all broke up, did y'all continue? You know how

1005
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:50,960
Speaker 4: a lot of breakups y'all still.

1006
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:51,479
Speaker 3: Continue to talk.

1007
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 2: It is one of those little So we tried a

1008
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 2: little bit, like right after.

1009
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 3: I think he talked about it. He was mad.

1010
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 2: And then maybe even about maybe a year later, we

1011
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 2: tried again. We didn't like day, it was more of

1012
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,240
Speaker 2: like a conversation and we just were really not able

1013
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:09,879
Speaker 2: to like move the needle.

1014
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 1: But that was the key because so we talked about

1015
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,960
Speaker 1: the first time she talked to me about marriage. Right,

1016
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 1: So we come circle the block again and I said,

1017
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 1: all right, let's go out to dinner. I just have

1018
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 1: one request. Let's not talk about marriage at this dinner.

1019
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 3: I don't know if you said at this.

1020
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 2: Dinner okay, let's not okay, you just said let's not

1021
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 2: talk let's not talk about marriage.

1022
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 1: I kept it general. Fine, So then having a great time,

1023
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 1: got the app here, let me got the app The

1024
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:44,480
Speaker 1: picture for everything was great, was nice. One of my

1025
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:47,799
Speaker 1: favorite restaurants in Columbus. About ten minutes in, so we

1026
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 1: think about marriage. You got and I'm like, how we

1027
00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 1: get back? I said, just one thing.

1028
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:56,880
Speaker 2: Let's just because if we're not talking about marriage, what

1029
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:57,400
Speaker 2: are we here for?

1030
00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 3: What are we talking about?

1031
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 1: We were trying to we were trying to reset and

1032
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 1: come back, that's all.

1033
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, you need to be resetting with the

1034
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 2: ring that could be, but I'm just trying.

1035
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:11,759
Speaker 1: I was just trying to. Yeah, I was like, man,

1036
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 1: and that's so we'll try to circle it. I'm like,

1037
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,239
Speaker 1: see once again, I'm like, she just can't.

1038
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 3: Get off, and I'm he is not on the right,

1039
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:19,439
Speaker 3: you're not on the boat.

1040
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,279
Speaker 1: I wasn't on the boat at that time, because, like

1041
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,239
Speaker 1: I said, it's God's will weigh in time, So the

1042
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 1: time for me just wasn't there.

1043
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 4: He said, let's don't talk about so about this marriage

1044
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 4: you want?

1045
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:34,439
Speaker 1: All right? Well I gets talking about marriage again.

1046
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:37,360
Speaker 5: So that just like ten minutes in, are you already

1047
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 5: thinking on this date?

1048
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 1: Like it'ah gonna work? I'm like, here we go again.

1049
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 1: And I told my boy, said, she's got everything that

1050
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:47,320
Speaker 1: I want, but she just does not follow the direction.

1051
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,840
Speaker 1: And I'm like, and so to me, has that changed?

1052
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 1: It has not changed. It has not changed. I've learned

1053
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 1: to live with it now.

1054
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 4: Not changed.

1055
00:45:57,920 --> 00:45:59,879
Speaker 3: But look how wonderful your life has turned out.

1056
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, truly. And I guess it was just how we

1057
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,800
Speaker 1: how we see things differently, because exactly she's a dreamer.

1058
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 1: She's like, I see this, but what about this? We

1059
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 1: can do even these things. I'm a let's live in

1060
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 1: the moment, let's take it easy. And so to me,

1061
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, she just can't. And I made it even

1062
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 1: worse than what it was. I made it like, well

1063
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 1: she can't be content. It's like that's not even true,

1064
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 1: Like I put things on her that wasn't even there.

1065
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 1: I just want to be at the dinner and talk

1066
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 1: about what I did to day, what's going on in

1067
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 1: the world, not about marriage. But that's just how her

1068
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:30,280
Speaker 1: mind works.

1069
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:32,920
Speaker 2: But I want to say too though, also I have

1070
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:34,680
Speaker 2: all this wisdom looking back, right.

1071
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 3: But I think marriage had really.

1072
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 2: Just become an idol for me at that point, you know.

1073
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 2: And it was like, and I was determined to not

1074
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:44,400
Speaker 2: let time get away from me. I wasn't gonna be

1075
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,360
Speaker 2: wasting my time in relationships with people.

1076
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 4: And you were how old? Because you said you were older?

1077
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:49,920
Speaker 1: How are you twenty nine?

1078
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 4: So okay, you was just three years older.

1079
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, So it just really had become an idol. And

1080
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:55,640
Speaker 2: it's any hard.

1081
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:57,840
Speaker 4: Did you have the thing that I got to be

1082
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 4: married by thirty, that whole thirty things?

1083
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 3: No, it was the thirty thing.

1084
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 2: It just was if I'm doing it, it's like it

1085
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,480
Speaker 2: has to be I have, if I'm investing, there has

1086
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:09,799
Speaker 2: to be a return coman like I cannot just be

1087
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 2: out here daily galliant like and so it just but

1088
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:17,080
Speaker 2: it had grown so big in my heart to you know,

1089
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:18,879
Speaker 2: it had just pushed out anything else.

1090
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 3: I was not able to see how it might have

1091
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:22,760
Speaker 3: made him feel.

1092
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 2: I was not even able to see how rushing it

1093
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 2: might have robbed us of the opportunity to get to

1094
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,840
Speaker 2: know each other better, to work through things, to grow.

1095
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 3: I just was like trying to get down the aisle.

1096
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 2: And to be honest, how we got married at that

1097
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 2: point it would have We have so much more and

1098
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 2: we're not perfect now, but we have so much more

1099
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,640
Speaker 2: grace for each other now, like the second time around,

1100
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 2: we have so much more wisdom, we have the right

1101
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 2: people in place to help us. It's just it's completely different.

1102
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 2: And so I just making making an idle lot of

1103
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 2: anything is always going to end badly.

1104
00:47:58,880 --> 00:47:59,919
Speaker 6: So that's so good.

1105
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 4: So you said that y'all had So then that date

1106
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:08,239
Speaker 4: a year later falls apart the windy y'all revisit how

1107
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:11,040
Speaker 4: many years later? Five five years later.

1108
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 2: From that time, because it was at that point I

1109
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 2: was like, I'm not I'm not fooling with him no more.

1110
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 3: He don't know what he wants and I don't have time.

1111
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 4: So did you start dating other people?

1112
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:21,160
Speaker 3: Relationship?

1113
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:24,160
Speaker 4: And did you start dating other people? And then so

1114
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:27,360
Speaker 4: in those dating did y'all start feeling like the ones

1115
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 4: in between? Were the ones.

1116
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 1: I don't think I had that relation.

1117
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 4: We know you when I get down.

1118
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 2: I never had the same feeling. Kevin was always different.

1119
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 2: And that's the thing too. It's like, you know, when

1120
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 2: you are exceptional, a few people can't compete with that

1121
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:51,760
Speaker 2: because people don't want to be excellent. And Kevin says

1122
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:53,760
Speaker 2: that all the time. It's like it's easier to be average,

1123
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 2: It's easier to be mediocre.

1124
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 3: When you when you.

1125
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 2: Are exceptional and you do right by people, it's gonna

1126
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:02,279
Speaker 2: be a hard ACTI file every time. And so I

1127
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 2: had dated people who nothing, no shade to them. All

1128
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 2: were wonderful people. They were not Kevin's you know what

1129
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 2: I'm saying, and so and so it's funny you mentioned

1130
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 2: that I had.

1131
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 3: I was at church one day and prophetically somebody had

1132
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 3: come up to me and they were like God said that.

1133
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 2: They were like, God said that there's a relationship that

1134
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:26,439
Speaker 2: he's going to restore Jesus and they were like, he's

1135
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:30,440
Speaker 2: going to give you his story. And they were like,

1136
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 2: he's gonna he is going to give you somebody that

1137
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 2: can handle the weight of your glory. Because the thing

1138
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:37,680
Speaker 2: about it is that one thing I know about me

1139
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:42,279
Speaker 2: is that I have a I can have a But you.

1140
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:44,399
Speaker 4: Got this prophecy why you're in a relationship with somebody else?

1141
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,719
Speaker 2: I just before I got in a relationship with somebody else,

1142
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 2: and so I thought it, yeah, because I didn't know.

1143
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 3: I didn't even think it.

1144
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 2: I didn't even think it was about Kevin. I was like,

1145
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:56,399
Speaker 2: I don't know what that means, you know, I didn't

1146
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:57,919
Speaker 2: think it was about It wasn't even it didn't even

1147
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 2: cross my mind. And I probably got the prophecy probably

1148
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 2: maybe three years before Kevin and I even got back together,

1149
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 2: and so I just was like, hmm, okay, And so

1150
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:14,799
Speaker 2: I went on and you know, kept dating and and it.

1151
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:16,760
Speaker 3: Just it never felt like Kevin.

1152
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 2: But I had closed the door on that because I

1153
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 2: was like, God, I'm going to be where you are.

1154
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:23,160
Speaker 3: You are. You obviously are.

1155
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,160
Speaker 2: Not doing anything in that relationship with Kevin and I

1156
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 2: because he is not here, he has not chosen to

1157
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 2: be here, and so I am not going to be

1158
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:30,920
Speaker 2: pining after somebody that's not pining after me.

1159
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:35,200
Speaker 3: I'm just not pining. Yes, I think I.

1160
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 2: Was just like I was like, no, I'm not doing it,

1161
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 2: and so I literally I never I had moved on.

1162
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,240
Speaker 2: I would not say I ever found anybody like Kevin,

1163
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 2: but I but I also was like, okay, that was

1164
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 2: just a chapter, you know, like that was the end.

1165
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 3: Of the story, and I'm not going to dwell there.

1166
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,439
Speaker 3: I gotta move on. So that was what I did.

1167
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:05,840
Speaker 1: And then yeah, so then it was five years later, Yeah, and.

1168
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:07,160
Speaker 3: After that one time, so it was like six years

1169
00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:07,879
Speaker 3: from the time.

1170
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, But what about you in between and that five years?

1171
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:12,480
Speaker 5: Were you thinking about her?

1172
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,440
Speaker 1: There were times I thought about her, for sure. I mean,

1173
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:20,360
Speaker 1: because I enjoyed our relationship. Dating other people, it just

1174
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:23,239
Speaker 1: wasn't the same. It wasn't the same spirit, and so

1175
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:25,279
Speaker 1: I knew they weren't the one. And I was like,

1176
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:26,840
Speaker 1: and I told my boys, I was like, man, she

1177
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:29,960
Speaker 1: could just do this, it would be good. And so like,

1178
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:31,920
Speaker 1: I never say I gave up on it, but I

1179
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 1: never I didn't think about it as a thing. And

1180
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:38,080
Speaker 1: so then five years, six years later. One thing I

1181
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:40,360
Speaker 1: do every year is I fast for the first thirty

1182
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:41,960
Speaker 1: one days of the year, So I try to give

1183
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:44,920
Speaker 1: God the first tenth.

1184
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:46,000
Speaker 2: Oh way, But before you get there, you remember you

1185
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 2: text me in like December.

1186
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:51,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, that's true. That is the year

1187
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 1: before I came back. I text her, but I don't

1188
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 1: know why.

1189
00:51:54,640 --> 00:52:00,879
Speaker 3: I text her, Well, I'm talking about but what you're

1190
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:01,279
Speaker 3: supposed to.

1191
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 1: I mean it's been I said, hey, how I hope

1192
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:06,400
Speaker 1: everything's going well.

1193
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:08,200
Speaker 3: It's going well. I hope you will too.

1194
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:11,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was. I didn't get no energy back. I

1195
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:13,360
Speaker 1: was like, okay, well, I mean at least.

1196
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:16,439
Speaker 4: But so so you were you trying to throw out bait?

1197
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:16,920
Speaker 4: I was.

1198
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:18,719
Speaker 1: I don't even know why I did it. I really don't.

1199
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:20,520
Speaker 4: You don't know why.

1200
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 1: You just came to my mind.

1201
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 4: Let me see you.

1202
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:26,799
Speaker 1: Honestly, it just came up. Let me just see how

1203
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:29,400
Speaker 1: she's doing. So I would I would liken that to

1204
00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:32,560
Speaker 1: just the Holy Spirit prompted me something as foreshoting was

1205
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:33,080
Speaker 1: going to happen.

1206
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 4: But relationship at the time, yes, I was.

1207
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 3: But what was funny was that I told my dad.

1208
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 3: I was like, you know what Kevin text me today.

1209
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:41,840
Speaker 3: My dad is like, he's trying to see if you're married.

1210
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 3: I was like, well he asked that name offer it, so.

1211
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 4: Nothing I was.

1212
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 7: I got nothing out of that because that's what I

1213
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:54,399
Speaker 7: was thinking, Like, your dad thought you was just trying

1214
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 7: to You're trying to You're trying to fish and see

1215
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 7: what kind of response you get back.

1216
00:52:58,040 --> 00:52:59,719
Speaker 4: And then she said, hey, how you doing. Hot? Light's

1217
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 4: going and then it opens up the door to have

1218
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:04,399
Speaker 4: a conversation. Everything's going well, and are you dating? Then

1219
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:06,439
Speaker 4: that question gets asked while I'm married, and then your

1220
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:16,080
Speaker 4: your heart just breaks. Well, God, I'm I'm happy for you.

1221
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 1: Will make no sense that yeah, so so then so

1222
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:25,680
Speaker 1: I spent my first thirty one days of the year

1223
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:30,080
Speaker 1: fasting and just fastening in general, and about towards the end,

1224
00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:33,360
Speaker 1: sitting on the couch, God was like, Brittany's your wife.

1225
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:36,520
Speaker 1: I said, I know you lying. I'm like, who I'm

1226
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, Well, and it came it was like

1227
00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 1: as clear as day, and I was like, you know,

1228
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 1: I'm not sure about that. Let me get confirmation. So

1229
00:53:44,239 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 1: I extend the fast a little bit. Love, I need

1230
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:48,560
Speaker 1: to see let me do some more fasting because let

1231
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:51,239
Speaker 1: me talk about let me get deep into my word.

1232
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 1: And it was clear as day. I'm okay, you know

1233
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:56,840
Speaker 1: what if that's the case, I need to be prepared

1234
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 1: for this.

1235
00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:00,479
Speaker 4: Let me ask you this. Had your leadership at said

1236
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:03,840
Speaker 4: that when y'all were dating, has anybody in your circle

1237
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:07,319
Speaker 4: of influence said, you know that's your wife, Mama, you

1238
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:09,840
Speaker 4: know that's your wife, like when they met her, or

1239
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 4: was this the first time you've ever heard a word

1240
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 4: spoken that she was your wife? And it came from God.

1241
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 1: People gave me hints that this could be my wife.

1242
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:21,600
Speaker 1: I mean, even when we were dating, I was considering

1243
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:24,439
Speaker 1: her a marriage hopeful, a marriage hopeful that that was

1244
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:26,400
Speaker 1: in our at that time. Think we were doing some

1245
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 1: counting sessions too, just to get make sure we were

1246
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: on the same page. I mean, so we were still

1247
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:32,719
Speaker 1: going towards that direction. So I think those people who

1248
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 1: were close with that wisdom felt that that could be something.

1249
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:39,000
Speaker 1: But for me, that big of a decision. I'm only

1250
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 1: getting one wife, So I want to hear from God.

1251
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 1: So even though people are saying that, and they may

1252
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:45,239
Speaker 1: that maybe their feelings, they may like me, they may

1253
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:46,560
Speaker 1: like her, I'm like, I want to hear what God

1254
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:49,239
Speaker 1: has to say. And so at that point I was like, God,

1255
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:51,279
Speaker 1: you gotta tell me again, because I mean I heard you,

1256
00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 1: but make it clear, make it plain God. So literally

1257
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:57,239
Speaker 1: at that point I extended my fast and I was like, Okay, well,

1258
00:54:57,239 --> 00:54:58,839
Speaker 1: if this is what the Lord is saying I need

1259
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 1: to prepare myself, meaning getting myself ready for marriage. So

1260
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:05,920
Speaker 1: before I even reach back out to her, we have

1261
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 1: a counselor who works with us very closely. I'm like,

1262
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:10,240
Speaker 1: this is the word I heard from the Lord helped

1263
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 1: me to get ready for marriage. So we spent time,

1264
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 1: like every week hours just getting ready. What does this mean?

1265
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 1: What's it like? Spiritually? What's mean to be a priest?

1266
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:22,359
Speaker 1: Are you ready here? Financially? Every aspect is really going

1267
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:25,160
Speaker 1: through it, pruning me to that before I even got

1268
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 1: to talk back to her, and I will make sure

1269
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:30,240
Speaker 1: I'm good. So when I come this time, I come correct.

1270
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:32,440
Speaker 2: See because see that's what happened when you said the

1271
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:35,600
Speaker 2: tone okay, I see that's yeah.

1272
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 1: The tone could be said, that's fine, but that's true

1273
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:40,560
Speaker 1: because I knew when I was coming back who I

1274
00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 1: was coming back to, about.

1275
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:45,000
Speaker 4: Her coming back to I need to so so think

1276
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 4: about this though, because this risky business, because you don't

1277
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:49,760
Speaker 4: know if she's married.

1278
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:50,560
Speaker 1: I ain't got a clue.

1279
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:52,640
Speaker 4: You don't know what's going on. You don't have social media.

1280
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 4: You telling me you were just moving by faith. You

1281
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 4: didn't even try to put no fil you didn't go

1282
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:58,680
Speaker 4: and try to create no social media page to go

1283
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:02,840
Speaker 4: look at. You said, she's my wife and I'm finna

1284
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:04,359
Speaker 4: be prepared for her.

1285
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:07,720
Speaker 1: Yep, that's exactly so truly, it wasn't me and my

1286
00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:10,480
Speaker 1: my mode. I'm slow motion anyways. So at that point,

1287
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,319
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, a little nervous about having a call

1288
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 1: about this because I talked to her in five years. So

1289
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 1: put on my gospel music. You know, I'm going to

1290
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:21,080
Speaker 1: get hyped up folks like my God, no, you said this,

1291
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:22,839
Speaker 1: you better help me out. Now I'm about to get

1292
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 1: get my words together hers and there river what so

1293
00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 1: you turned on?

1294
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:27,239
Speaker 4: It was.

1295
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 1: The first song I listened to was I think it

1296
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 1: was Never Lost a Battle by Elevation, But I said,

1297
00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:38,880
Speaker 1: it's no wrong. I'm going to it as well, So

1298
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,600
Speaker 1: either way I'm to go away. So I had both

1299
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 1: songs playing here, so listen, I'm going in strong, but

1300
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:46,319
Speaker 1: it's well my soul either way. God, So I was

1301
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:47,560
Speaker 1: good ends.

1302
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:50,520
Speaker 4: So yeah, so I.

1303
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 1: Was good there, and I'm like, okay, let me make

1304
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:54,680
Speaker 1: the phone call. Call she don't answer.

1305
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:56,239
Speaker 3: And let me tell you. So he called me.

1306
00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:58,680
Speaker 2: I was at work and I actually at the time,

1307
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:00,799
Speaker 2: I was on the phone with my sister and I

1308
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:03,400
Speaker 2: looked at you know, if the car awaiting comes up,

1309
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:04,800
Speaker 2: and then I looked down and I was like, girl,

1310
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 2: I was like, it's Kevin calling me.

1311
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:08,320
Speaker 3: She was like what did you think you were? I

1312
00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:10,480
Speaker 3: was like, girl, I'm not even talking here, and she

1313
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:10,959
Speaker 3: was like.

1314
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 2: Don't answer it. I was like, we ain't gonna answer it.

1315
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:15,799
Speaker 2: I was like I don't need to talk to him,

1316
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 2: and so she was like good. She was like, if

1317
00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 2: he don't leave a voicemail, he don't want nothing anyway.

1318
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 2: And so I was like, okay, that's a good point.

1319
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 2: And so then you know, you get that alert and

1320
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 2: it's like left a voicemail.

1321
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:26,360
Speaker 3: And oh girl, you know, left for voicemail.

1322
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 1: I go down.

1323
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:29,959
Speaker 3: I go down and I call him back.

1324
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 2: I went down to my office and I called him

1325
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:36,240
Speaker 2: back and he was like, hey, you know, hey, how are.

1326
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 3: You a hope? I was well, I was like I'm good,

1327
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 3: how are you?

1328
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:42,920
Speaker 2: You know, like what do you want? And he was like,

1329
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:45,120
Speaker 2: you know, I just want to apologize. I didn't really

1330
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:47,440
Speaker 2: take you. I didn't really make your priority all those

1331
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 2: years ago, and you know, I just really owe you

1332
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 2: an apology, and you know, you know you're a wonderful

1333
00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:53,640
Speaker 2: person blah blah blah.

1334
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:55,600
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, I said, don't even worry

1335
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:59,000
Speaker 3: about it. Be blessed God. Go about your way, don't

1336
00:57:59,080 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 3: let this keep you up, and.

1337
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 4: And God bless you.

1338
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:17,200
Speaker 2: I was like okay, and so we got off the phone.

1339
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:20,680
Speaker 4: Because I was like, was a relationships is still I.

1340
00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:22,440
Speaker 2: Was, and I was like that is so weird, like

1341
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:24,920
Speaker 2: I don't know what he wants and moving on.

1342
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:27,480
Speaker 3: And so then I think he called back a couple

1343
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 3: of days later and he was like, you know, I'm

1344
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,320
Speaker 3: calling back and I'm like, yes, can I help you

1345
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 3: because you just called a few days ago. Now what

1346
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 3: you need? And he was like, I don't think you understand.

1347
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 3: God told me that you're my wife.

1348
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 4: Now now now you're coming with Now that's where you come.

1349
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:44,800
Speaker 1: And then the first one was like let me slow

1350
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:47,000
Speaker 1: out where she was at, like at the end of

1351
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:48,880
Speaker 1: the day, this is what God told me. So I'm

1352
00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:51,360
Speaker 1: gonna be very clear, this is what's going to happen.

1353
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:54,160
Speaker 4: A favor because its getting good. How you just raised

1354
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 4: that microphone, unscrew the side or even that way is

1355
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:59,160
Speaker 4: even better. That's fine, and then tightened the side the

1356
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 4: other side yes, yeah, and then turn that microphone right, yeah, perfect, okay,

1357
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:10,200
Speaker 4: because it was drooping you started applying pressure unpacking. Yeah.

1358
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:11,960
Speaker 1: So at that point, I'm like, she needs to know

1359
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 1: how direct I'm coming. This is not a just okay,

1360
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,440
Speaker 1: let's see what's going on. We're gonna be married at

1361
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 1: some point. And so I told her and this I

1362
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 1: probably called it early in the morning too. I'm like,

1363
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:22,919
Speaker 1: I don't know why I called it early in the morning.

1364
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:24,680
Speaker 1: By dead, I'm like, thing going.

1365
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:28,600
Speaker 4: In the morning, you gonna wake up here.

1366
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 3: It was.

1367
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:33,600
Speaker 2: And then that pissed me off too, because I'm like, wow,

1368
00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:35,560
Speaker 2: are you calling me this early in the morning, y'all?

1369
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 3: Let me tell you what's so bad about it. So

1370
00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:39,960
Speaker 3: he calls me, right, He's like, I don't think you

1371
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:40,920
Speaker 3: understand God told me.

1372
00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:42,919
Speaker 2: And I'm just like, I said, well, he ain't told

1373
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:44,400
Speaker 2: me that, and I'm in a relationship and you need

1374
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:49,080
Speaker 2: to stop calling me. It's brude turn live beginning exactly.

1375
00:59:49,120 --> 00:59:51,280
Speaker 2: So I was like, so I'm like getting mad and

1376
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:54,360
Speaker 2: he's like, well, He's like okay, then I'm gonna just wait.

1377
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:56,360
Speaker 2: I was like, well, you're gonna be wait forever because

1378
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:57,240
Speaker 2: he's like he's gonna tell you.

1379
00:59:57,280 --> 00:59:58,080
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't care.

1380
00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:02,680
Speaker 2: Pissed me all so bad, but like y'all. So we're

1381
01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 2: on the phone right and I don't even know.

1382
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 3: Y'all now mind just seven am.

1383
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:10,400
Speaker 2: So I got a little night shirt and I got

1384
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 2: on my bond is orange bonnet?

1385
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:13,280
Speaker 3: Okay?

1386
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:14,320
Speaker 1: Bright orange bond?

1387
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:16,240
Speaker 4: Yes?

1388
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:19,320
Speaker 2: And so I had my ear to the phone. I

1389
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:22,000
Speaker 2: don't know what was happening. And I had called my

1390
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:24,520
Speaker 2: mom and I was like, girl, can you believe he

1391
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:26,600
Speaker 2: just called me talking about from God told me. I

1392
01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 2: was like, he needs to stop this, miss and I'm

1393
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 2: sick of him. I ain't got time to be playing

1394
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:31,080
Speaker 2: with him.

1395
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:32,160
Speaker 1: Like I'm just going.

1396
01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:37,160
Speaker 4: And I just.

1397
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:37,800
Speaker 1: Here.

1398
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:40,560
Speaker 2: The phone starts to sound different, and I'm like, Mama,

1399
01:00:40,560 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 2: what's wrong with your phone?

1400
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:43,400
Speaker 3: This phone? FaceTime Kevin?

1401
01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:44,200
Speaker 1: Facetim me.

1402
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:48,600
Speaker 3: Now, I ain't seeing Kevin. I ain't. I ain't seen

1403
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:50,720
Speaker 3: Kevin in like, first of all, I ain't seen him.

1404
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:52,320
Speaker 1: In like about six seven years, ain't.

1405
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:54,240
Speaker 3: No, ain't been a law It's been like four years.

1406
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 3: I saw four if I whatever it was. And so

1407
01:00:57,760 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 3: I got on a bonnet.

1408
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:01,600
Speaker 2: I was just looking mess and so then I see him.

1409
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 2: I was like, how did you get on my phone.

1410
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:07,960
Speaker 4: He was like, because I was you called me?

1411
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:09,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1412
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 3: I was so embarrassed.

1413
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:13,240
Speaker 2: I don't even know if I was embarrassed, because I

1414
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:15,080
Speaker 2: don't even know if I was embarrassed because he heard

1415
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:17,360
Speaker 2: me talking trash about him, if I was embarrassed because

1416
01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:18,240
Speaker 2: I looked to mess with my.

1417
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:20,280
Speaker 3: Bonnet on, I don't know which one it was.

1418
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:23,640
Speaker 2: But I was so embarrassed, And so I called my

1419
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 2: dad and I was like, Dad, you never.

1420
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:27,439
Speaker 3: Guess what happened. So I tell the story and he's

1421
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 3: dying laughing, and I'm like, well, why are you laughing?

1422
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:32,400
Speaker 3: Y'all funny and he was like, yes, it is.

1423
01:01:32,640 --> 01:01:34,440
Speaker 2: And so after he's done laughing, he's like, you need

1424
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:36,320
Speaker 2: to call a man apologize because she was talking trash

1425
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:36,680
Speaker 2: about here.

1426
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:39,280
Speaker 1: I threw in something. I threw into something.

1427
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:41,720
Speaker 3: Then my daddy made me call him and apologize.

1428
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:44,200
Speaker 2: So then I had a call back and apologize for

1429
01:01:44,320 --> 01:01:47,360
Speaker 2: talking mean about him to them.

1430
01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:49,440
Speaker 3: And it was just it was a mess.

1431
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:50,080
Speaker 4: It was.

1432
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:50,760
Speaker 3: It was a mess.

1433
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 4: So what did you think she called you back?

1434
01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 1: I knew we had something moving. I did, because I

1435
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:58,040
Speaker 1: think at that point I heard I didn't hear a

1436
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:00,160
Speaker 1: lot of what you were saying. But because you were

1437
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:03,200
Speaker 1: talking somebody about it, that means it impacted you somehow.

1438
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:06,080
Speaker 1: So I'm like, you know, okay, that applying pressure. So

1439
01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:08,480
Speaker 1: she's not thinking about it, so wills are in motion.

1440
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,800
Speaker 1: At some point I was hung. I'm like, we'll be

1441
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:15,880
Speaker 1: all right, Thank you God, We'll be all right. Because

1442
01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:17,480
Speaker 1: at that point he was like, I'm in a relationship.

1443
01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:19,400
Speaker 1: I won't be ruined. Like fine, I was like, God,

1444
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 1: I'll tell you. He needs to tell you. And that

1445
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 1: was it.

1446
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 5: Now were you having marriage conversations with the guy you

1447
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:27,280
Speaker 5: were with because you told him how intentional you were?

1448
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:28,680
Speaker 5: Did you tell the guy you were taking?

1449
01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:29,720
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1450
01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:31,920
Speaker 3: No, I did. I did. And at that point we

1451
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:34,080
Speaker 3: had been dating for a little bit of time, but

1452
01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:34,720
Speaker 3: long enough.

1453
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:41,240
Speaker 2: How long he had been like two and a half years?

1454
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:43,480
Speaker 3: That crazy, I'm telling he's interesting.

1455
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:50,960
Speaker 4: So let me tell you it's crazy living U.

1456
01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:53,320
Speaker 3: But let me tell.

1457
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:58,520
Speaker 4: You that he conveniently lived in the same city and

1458
01:02:58,600 --> 01:03:01,120
Speaker 4: he gets two and a half years and he's living

1459
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:06,720
Speaker 4: a whole nother state years. Yeah, season, and he had

1460
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:11,000
Speaker 4: twenty six You want him to be ready to learn.

1461
01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 3: From my mistage?

1462
01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:16,520
Speaker 1: Way?

1463
01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:22,880
Speaker 5: It was a process little a dollar long.

1464
01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:28,400
Speaker 1: I was trying to learn, so go ahead testifying.

1465
01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:34,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I was the relationship, you know, was he

1466
01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:35,440
Speaker 3: talking about with you when you're right?

1467
01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:42,480
Speaker 2: So anyway, I was like, well, I was like, you know,

1468
01:03:42,680 --> 01:03:44,800
Speaker 2: i've been doing this for a little while. I don't

1469
01:03:44,800 --> 01:03:48,480
Speaker 2: know where this is going. And I was fasting at

1470
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:50,320
Speaker 2: the beginning of the year. I was doing the fast

1471
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:52,720
Speaker 2: with Mike Todd past Mike time because you know, I

1472
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:54,480
Speaker 2: didn't do the first twenty one days or whatever. So

1473
01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:56,760
Speaker 2: I was like fasting as well because I was like,

1474
01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:58,360
Speaker 2: I need to get some clearity about what I'm doing.

1475
01:03:58,400 --> 01:04:01,760
Speaker 3: We've been doing this too long. Some something got to break,

1476
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:03,320
Speaker 3: like here or say here s here.

1477
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:08,240
Speaker 2: So I was like, uh no, So I was fasting,

1478
01:04:08,520 --> 01:04:11,120
Speaker 2: and you know how you fast for clarity, but instead

1479
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:12,520
Speaker 2: it was not getting more clear.

1480
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:15,160
Speaker 3: It was getting more cloudy. And so I was like,

1481
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:16,680
Speaker 3: I am so confused.

1482
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:21,000
Speaker 2: And so what I later discovered was that the confusion

1483
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:22,960
Speaker 2: was the answer. You know what I'm saying, like that

1484
01:04:23,240 --> 01:04:26,520
Speaker 2: the confusion was the clarity. It was like, you don't

1485
01:04:26,560 --> 01:04:29,280
Speaker 2: have peace about this. You've been fasting, this is not it.

1486
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:32,880
Speaker 2: And so as I was like still sitting in that

1487
01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:35,720
Speaker 2: because I just, like I said, I just when I

1488
01:04:35,720 --> 01:04:37,800
Speaker 2: love people I love hard, and so I felt Then

1489
01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:40,040
Speaker 2: I started to feel bad, and then I had that

1490
01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:43,440
Speaker 2: same anxiety. I was like, I just I it was

1491
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:45,800
Speaker 2: like the longer when I get out of step with God,

1492
01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:49,240
Speaker 2: the longer I stay places I'm not supposed to be, like,

1493
01:04:49,280 --> 01:04:51,800
Speaker 2: the anxiety grows. It's like the Holy Spirit sits on

1494
01:04:51,840 --> 01:04:54,520
Speaker 2: me until I do what I'm supposed to do. And

1495
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:56,919
Speaker 2: so at that point I had talked to my parents

1496
01:04:56,960 --> 01:04:58,880
Speaker 2: and I think, actually Kevin, because I had told Kevin,

1497
01:04:58,880 --> 01:05:01,479
Speaker 2: I was like, do not call me anymore like about

1498
01:05:01,480 --> 01:05:01,680
Speaker 2: to be.

1499
01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:06,400
Speaker 3: I was like, because I am just a person I

1500
01:05:06,520 --> 01:05:06,840
Speaker 3: like to be.

1501
01:05:06,960 --> 01:05:08,840
Speaker 2: I like to do things decent and in order, and

1502
01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:11,200
Speaker 2: if I'm in a relationship, I am never Yeah, I'm

1503
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:12,760
Speaker 2: going to respect it. And so I was like, do

1504
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:15,520
Speaker 2: not call me, and so he was like okay. So

1505
01:05:15,560 --> 01:05:17,160
Speaker 2: he sent some flowers to my house and I'm like,

1506
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:18,320
Speaker 2: I don't know what part.

1507
01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:25,840
Speaker 1: Of detail because the last time I didn't give action,

1508
01:05:25,960 --> 01:05:27,800
Speaker 1: I just gave words, and I want to give you both.

1509
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:28,240
Speaker 4: This time.

1510
01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:31,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, just in case the word clear, this is

1511
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:33,880
Speaker 1: what God said, and I'm also show you that's where

1512
01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:34,280
Speaker 1: I'm at.

1513
01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:35,920
Speaker 2: I pulled up to my house and it was like

1514
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:37,720
Speaker 2: three dozen roses on the porch.

1515
01:05:41,200 --> 01:05:44,000
Speaker 3: And they were read and I was like, I.

1516
01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:46,959
Speaker 4: Either don't not carried all and not.

1517
01:05:46,920 --> 01:05:48,400
Speaker 2: Even I didn't call him to tell him thank you,

1518
01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:51,240
Speaker 2: any say nothing. I took him to my grandma God

1519
01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:54,560
Speaker 2: rest herself today today is actually her birthday. But I

1520
01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:58,480
Speaker 2: took to my grandma and she was like, oh.

1521
01:05:58,320 --> 01:05:59,840
Speaker 3: My gosh, red roses.

1522
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:04,440
Speaker 2: No I love, I said, Grandma got these dress for you.

1523
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:06,840
Speaker 3: So I left him and I get into it because

1524
01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:08,200
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm not going to keep no rose

1525
01:06:08,280 --> 01:06:11,040
Speaker 3: from another man. I'm in a relationship what I look like.

1526
01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:14,400
Speaker 3: So I just was like done. I was like, did

1527
01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:15,200
Speaker 3: you tell your boyfriend?

1528
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:15,800
Speaker 4: He said.

1529
01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:20,120
Speaker 3: No, no, Actually I want to say I did. I

1530
01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:22,240
Speaker 3: think I want to say I did.

1531
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:22,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1532
01:06:24,440 --> 01:06:26,480
Speaker 3: I think at that point he kind of knew that

1533
01:06:26,560 --> 01:06:31,160
Speaker 3: we were like yeah, different way. Yeah. So I think he.

1534
01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:33,360
Speaker 4: In front of your boyfriend, your boyfriend said you know

1535
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 4: that's your husband, right, her husband to get As we

1536
01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:47,080
Speaker 4: started to get toward the end of the relationship, I

1537
01:06:47,080 --> 01:06:48,800
Speaker 4: think it sort of became.

1538
01:06:48,560 --> 01:06:50,880
Speaker 2: A mutual like this is not a good fit type thing.

1539
01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:55,360
Speaker 2: So I think I did tell him, But so we

1540
01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:59,640
Speaker 2: ended up breaking it off and I ended up calling Kevin.

1541
01:07:00,320 --> 01:07:01,880
Speaker 1: But it's some time. It was a few it was

1542
01:07:01,880 --> 01:07:03,360
Speaker 1: like a month or so, a few weeks before you

1543
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:06,680
Speaker 1: actually called me back, because after the roses, I never

1544
01:07:06,720 --> 01:07:08,880
Speaker 1: got a response that you got them. Only I knew

1545
01:07:08,880 --> 01:07:10,960
Speaker 1: because of my email said deliver them. At least they

1546
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:13,880
Speaker 1: got to the house. But I heard nothing, and she

1547
01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:15,880
Speaker 1: didn't reply. I didn't talk to her at that point.

1548
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:18,040
Speaker 1: It was a few weeks I think before any other

1549
01:07:18,040 --> 01:07:18,880
Speaker 1: communication happened.

1550
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:20,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, So when she said don't call her, you literally

1551
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:22,960
Speaker 4: didn't even text her to say did you get the roses?

1552
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:23,520
Speaker 1: Didn't say nothing.

1553
01:07:23,560 --> 01:07:24,720
Speaker 4: You said, I respect what you say.

1554
01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:26,720
Speaker 1: Correct, I respect that by no, they delivered because it

1555
01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:27,640
Speaker 1: said it was delivered.

1556
01:07:27,360 --> 01:07:29,520
Speaker 3: What you put on the card. I don't know what

1557
01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:31,000
Speaker 3: I put on the card.

1558
01:07:31,640 --> 01:07:35,120
Speaker 2: I think you put scripture or something like, God, I'm

1559
01:07:35,120 --> 01:07:36,160
Speaker 2: going to tell you something.

1560
01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:38,200
Speaker 4: People in the scripture bone bone.

1561
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:41,880
Speaker 1: It was a scripture. I can't know what the scripture was,

1562
01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:43,920
Speaker 1: but it was a scripture. And that's I sounded like

1563
01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:44,919
Speaker 1: k And that was it.

1564
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:49,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I reached back out to him, and

1565
01:07:49,360 --> 01:07:51,360
Speaker 2: I was kind of just like kind of just trying

1566
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:53,280
Speaker 2: to see if he was like really serious. And so

1567
01:07:54,040 --> 01:07:55,560
Speaker 2: I was like, well, I was so excited.

1568
01:07:56,640 --> 01:07:59,280
Speaker 4: Women, this is what it means when they say, never

1569
01:07:59,360 --> 01:08:03,320
Speaker 4: let your boyfriend and get away with your husband. What

1570
01:08:03,360 --> 01:08:04,400
Speaker 4: that looks like in real time?

1571
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:05,240
Speaker 3: In real time?

1572
01:08:05,320 --> 01:08:08,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I was working, I was I knew at

1573
01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:09,640
Speaker 1: some point it was going to happen, but didn't know

1574
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:11,160
Speaker 1: when it was going to happen. I was like, God,

1575
01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:13,120
Speaker 1: you said this, so at some point it's going to

1576
01:08:13,200 --> 01:08:13,560
Speaker 1: take place.

1577
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:15,840
Speaker 4: So you was one hundred percent faithful, like this is

1578
01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:17,519
Speaker 4: what I'm going to do, and I believe God's gonna

1579
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:19,640
Speaker 4: do it. Yep. You cut off every other option of

1580
01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:21,800
Speaker 4: any other woman, cutting off all of them, and so

1581
01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:23,000
Speaker 4: this is my wife.

1582
01:08:23,160 --> 01:08:25,040
Speaker 1: Even like even friends that like girls that were friends

1583
01:08:25,040 --> 01:08:26,679
Speaker 1: of like, hey, I need to, you know, move away

1584
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:28,840
Speaker 1: from this slide back a little bit, just because I'm

1585
01:08:28,880 --> 01:08:31,400
Speaker 1: preparing for something. So at that point it was like

1586
01:08:31,520 --> 01:08:33,640
Speaker 1: just get your life ready to reset. And so I

1587
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:35,840
Speaker 1: was in the gym and meal prepping that like as

1588
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:38,880
Speaker 1: I was, and I got it. I literally saw her

1589
01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:40,880
Speaker 1: name my phone. I'm like, let's stop this, the whole workout,

1590
01:08:40,920 --> 01:08:42,800
Speaker 1: stop the work. I left the gym, got in the car,

1591
01:08:42,880 --> 01:08:45,439
Speaker 1: like Kevin, this is the moment. So then she called

1592
01:08:45,439 --> 01:08:47,120
Speaker 1: and we talked about three four hours.

1593
01:08:47,160 --> 01:08:49,439
Speaker 3: We did we did. We just kind of like caught

1594
01:08:49,520 --> 01:08:50,040
Speaker 3: up a little bit.

1595
01:08:50,080 --> 01:08:53,679
Speaker 1: And I wasn't a collar. She was interrogating, yeah, because

1596
01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:56,280
Speaker 1: you wanted to know, Okay, what are you really about?

1597
01:08:56,720 --> 01:08:58,160
Speaker 1: But I was prepared because I did.

1598
01:08:58,080 --> 01:08:58,680
Speaker 4: Prepare for this.

1599
01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:01,760
Speaker 1: So every time she had a question, I had the answer,

1600
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:03,599
Speaker 1: cause I knew last time I didn't have the answer,

1601
01:09:03,920 --> 01:09:06,240
Speaker 1: so I knew how to come correct. Like I'm praying

1602
01:09:06,240 --> 01:09:06,599
Speaker 1: about it.

1603
01:09:06,640 --> 01:09:07,160
Speaker 3: I'm correct.

1604
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:10,040
Speaker 1: That's fine, But I feel like I did the best

1605
01:09:10,080 --> 01:09:12,280
Speaker 1: I could. You did, Yeah, So we was on the phone,

1606
01:09:12,320 --> 01:09:14,840
Speaker 1: had a good conversation about three or four hours.

1607
01:09:14,880 --> 01:09:16,840
Speaker 4: And when you walked away from that conversation, what did

1608
01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:17,240
Speaker 4: you think?

1609
01:09:17,760 --> 01:09:19,439
Speaker 3: I thought, Okay, I think he's serious.

1610
01:09:19,560 --> 01:09:21,960
Speaker 2: And I said to him, I said to him after

1611
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:23,960
Speaker 2: the conversation, well, he said, actually he said to me

1612
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:25,720
Speaker 2: in the conversation, and this one I really knew.

1613
01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:27,519
Speaker 3: In the conversation, he was like.

1614
01:09:27,479 --> 01:09:29,280
Speaker 2: Well, you know, the next time I'm in Atlanta, can

1615
01:09:29,320 --> 01:09:31,400
Speaker 2: I stop by and see you? And I said, well, yeah, sure,

1616
01:09:31,520 --> 01:09:34,360
Speaker 2: whenever you're in Atlanta you can stop by. And I

1617
01:09:34,400 --> 01:09:36,920
Speaker 2: was like, well when are you going to be in Atlanta?

1618
01:09:36,960 --> 01:09:39,519
Speaker 2: He was like on Saturday, and I'm like, it's like Wednesday.

1619
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:41,599
Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, that's gonna be the next time. I'm

1620
01:09:41,600 --> 01:09:43,439
Speaker 2: in Atlanta. And I was like, well, what are you

1621
01:09:43,479 --> 01:09:45,360
Speaker 2: coming for? And he was like, to see you and

1622
01:09:45,400 --> 01:09:45,760
Speaker 2: that was.

1623
01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:52,800
Speaker 4: Like he said, the next time. I'll be winning the

1624
01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:53,200
Speaker 4: next time.

1625
01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:59,960
Speaker 2: The next time, and so he came and I was like, okay,

1626
01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:02,120
Speaker 2: we can just get brunch, like we'll keep it like.

1627
01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:06,400
Speaker 2: So we went and got brunch and after that there

1628
01:10:06,560 --> 01:10:09,800
Speaker 2: was there's a jewel a jewelry store, like right, we

1629
01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:12,960
Speaker 2: were in like boocket, and so he was like what

1630
01:10:13,080 --> 01:10:13,840
Speaker 2: kind of he asked me that.

1631
01:10:14,120 --> 01:10:15,400
Speaker 3: She was like what kind of ring do you want?

1632
01:10:16,120 --> 01:10:18,639
Speaker 3: And I was like, why isn't he asking me about this?

1633
01:10:19,120 --> 01:10:21,400
Speaker 2: And so I think I told him I think I

1634
01:10:21,560 --> 01:10:24,280
Speaker 2: thought I wanted an oval or something turns out so

1635
01:10:24,400 --> 01:10:26,880
Speaker 2: ugly on my hand, but anyway, so I think I

1636
01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:28,760
Speaker 2: told him that I thought I wanted that maybe, and

1637
01:10:28,760 --> 01:10:29,960
Speaker 2: so he was like, well, I was like, but I'm

1638
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:31,720
Speaker 2: really not sure, and he was like, well, let's just

1639
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:35,080
Speaker 2: go look. So we go to the jewelry store and

1640
01:10:35,120 --> 01:10:37,519
Speaker 2: the lady in there is like, oh, She's like, you

1641
01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:40,200
Speaker 2: guys are such a cute couple she's like, how long

1642
01:10:40,240 --> 01:10:41,280
Speaker 2: have you guys been Daandy.

1643
01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:42,559
Speaker 3: I was like, man, we're not together.

1644
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:47,439
Speaker 1: Our first reconnection, I was like, we are not together.

1645
01:10:54,720 --> 01:10:55,519
Speaker 1: We'll marry soon.

1646
01:10:56,640 --> 01:11:02,640
Speaker 3: She was like okay, She's like, well, what do you

1647
01:11:02,720 --> 01:11:03,040
Speaker 3: want to be?

1648
01:11:03,680 --> 01:11:05,559
Speaker 2: So we just started looking at some songs and she's like, oh,

1649
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:08,479
Speaker 2: we have this really nice stone and like our other

1650
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:11,000
Speaker 2: stories like north of here, and so she's like, it's

1651
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:13,439
Speaker 2: about thirty minutes away, and I was like, that's fine.

1652
01:11:13,439 --> 01:11:14,439
Speaker 3: We don't like, we don't need to go.

1653
01:11:14,479 --> 01:11:16,800
Speaker 2: We just was looking and he was like, no, we'll go.

1654
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:18,519
Speaker 2: We won't go up there and tell us where it is.

1655
01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:21,559
Speaker 2: Get in the car and we go up here. And

1656
01:11:21,640 --> 01:11:24,000
Speaker 2: at that point we said it at the store probably

1657
01:11:24,040 --> 01:11:26,000
Speaker 2: like an hour. It was an hour and a half,

1658
01:11:26,040 --> 01:11:28,880
Speaker 2: and so I figured at that point I was like, okay, serious, Yeah,

1659
01:11:28,920 --> 01:11:31,200
Speaker 2: he's serious, and so I just kind of stood outside

1660
01:11:31,680 --> 01:11:32,400
Speaker 2: and then I think.

1661
01:11:32,280 --> 01:11:34,840
Speaker 3: A couple of days later you ended up. I think

1662
01:11:34,840 --> 01:11:37,160
Speaker 3: you ended up buying the ring. I didn't know it.

1663
01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:39,040
Speaker 1: But because I asked you on that the second call

1664
01:11:39,080 --> 01:11:41,439
Speaker 1: we had, him like if I asked you to marry

1665
01:11:41,479 --> 01:11:44,240
Speaker 1: me in ninety days, would that be too fast? He did,

1666
01:11:44,240 --> 01:11:46,160
Speaker 1: and you were like you paused to be like, no,

1667
01:11:46,160 --> 01:11:48,760
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be. But I don't know if you meant that.

1668
01:11:48,840 --> 01:11:58,759
Speaker 2: But I don't know, and I don't know because I remember,

1669
01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:01,439
Speaker 2: because the thing about it is that well we after

1670
01:12:01,560 --> 01:12:05,000
Speaker 2: when we had started talking. I remember telling him at

1671
01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:06,640
Speaker 2: the beginning, I was like, I'm not ready to be

1672
01:12:06,680 --> 01:12:08,599
Speaker 2: in a relationship. I mean, I was just in one.

1673
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:11,000
Speaker 2: And he was like, well, that's fine. He was like,

1674
01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:13,040
Speaker 2: I mean, you do what you're gonna do, and I'm

1675
01:12:13,040 --> 01:12:13,800
Speaker 2: gonna do what i'm gonna do.

1676
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:16,479
Speaker 4: Back see, hold on, I'm about to shot right now.

1677
01:12:17,080 --> 01:12:20,320
Speaker 4: When I tell you that is a mantra for me.

1678
01:12:20,760 --> 01:12:25,920
Speaker 4: I say, a man that leads doesn't need permission. He'll say, listen, dude,

1679
01:12:25,920 --> 01:12:27,640
Speaker 4: you got to do I'm gonna do what I gotta do.

1680
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,519
Speaker 4: Don't stop me from doing what I'm doing. I ain't

1681
01:12:29,520 --> 01:12:31,280
Speaker 4: gonna stop you from doing what I'm doing. But I

1682
01:12:31,320 --> 01:12:34,640
Speaker 4: guarantee you you will submit to God's will because at

1683
01:12:34,680 --> 01:12:36,160
Speaker 4: the end of the day, I don't have to force

1684
01:12:36,640 --> 01:12:38,120
Speaker 4: I'm gonna do what i'm gonna do. Because if you

1685
01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:41,360
Speaker 4: stop a man's intentionality, now you start having them operate

1686
01:12:41,439 --> 01:12:44,519
Speaker 4: in his femininity. And he's like, well, she said, she went, well,

1687
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:47,120
Speaker 4: let me just wait till she ready. Now you're leading again.

1688
01:12:47,320 --> 01:12:47,559
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1689
01:12:47,720 --> 01:12:50,120
Speaker 4: And so at the beginning, you said, I want a

1690
01:12:50,160 --> 01:12:53,360
Speaker 4: man that's gonna lead. He none did his work. He said,

1691
01:12:53,479 --> 01:12:56,320
Speaker 4: I prepare me to be a husband, not prepare me

1692
01:12:56,360 --> 01:12:58,200
Speaker 4: to be a husband. When she's ready for me to

1693
01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:00,000
Speaker 4: be a husband, he said, prepare me to be a husdan.

1694
01:13:00,600 --> 01:13:04,240
Speaker 4: And even with a wife, the Bible says that he

1695
01:13:04,320 --> 01:13:06,839
Speaker 4: who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains

1696
01:13:06,880 --> 01:13:09,160
Speaker 4: favor in the Lord. That means that when he finds her,

1697
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:12,519
Speaker 4: she's already a wife, that she has get ready to

1698
01:13:12,560 --> 01:13:14,720
Speaker 4: be a wife. She is already a wife. Now the

1699
01:13:14,760 --> 01:13:17,559
Speaker 4: intricacies of the marriage and the dating and all that

1700
01:13:17,600 --> 01:13:21,479
Speaker 4: stuff has to be defined or refined, but she's already

1701
01:13:21,479 --> 01:13:25,280
Speaker 4: a wife. Just like a seed that is already a tree,

1702
01:13:25,479 --> 01:13:27,760
Speaker 4: it just has to mature to that tree. So what

1703
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:30,080
Speaker 4: happens is is that I love the fact that he

1704
01:13:30,240 --> 01:13:32,559
Speaker 4: said this. I got to celebrate you, Kevin for this.

1705
01:13:32,880 --> 01:13:34,720
Speaker 4: You said, you do what you're gonna do, and I'm

1706
01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:35,600
Speaker 4: gonna do what I'm gonna do.

1707
01:13:35,760 --> 01:13:37,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And all I needed was that ninety days

1708
01:13:37,840 --> 01:13:39,559
Speaker 1: because then in the background, I tell me, I say hey,

1709
01:13:39,960 --> 01:13:42,920
Speaker 1: this ninety is now we have an engagement that your

1710
01:13:42,960 --> 01:13:45,280
Speaker 1: schedule is free. Mom, y'all free on this one. And

1711
01:13:45,320 --> 01:13:49,040
Speaker 1: then I went hundred percent only the people that I

1712
01:13:49,120 --> 01:13:52,599
Speaker 1: trusted though, because at this point it's you haven't seen

1713
01:13:52,640 --> 01:13:54,880
Speaker 1: this woman in five years, yeah, and now you're telling

1714
01:13:54,880 --> 01:13:56,920
Speaker 1: me you're about to marry her. So it was people

1715
01:13:56,960 --> 01:13:59,200
Speaker 1: who had spiritual wisdom to understand that this was a

1716
01:13:59,240 --> 01:14:02,400
Speaker 1: God thing, and they had no issue with them. When

1717
01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:04,559
Speaker 1: I told my dad, I said, Dad, I prayed about

1718
01:14:04,560 --> 01:14:07,240
Speaker 1: this fascet bringing my wife. He said, no problem, let

1719
01:14:07,280 --> 01:14:09,240
Speaker 1: me know where to be because he was good with it.

1720
01:14:09,439 --> 01:14:11,320
Speaker 1: I told my bishop he was good with it. My

1721
01:14:11,360 --> 01:14:13,519
Speaker 1: best friend. They were good with it because they had

1722
01:14:13,720 --> 01:14:16,439
Speaker 1: that spiritual backing and say, know what, he's led by

1723
01:14:16,439 --> 01:14:18,479
Speaker 1: the Lord. We support that, we understand it.

1724
01:14:18,439 --> 01:14:18,960
Speaker 4: It's good.

1725
01:14:18,960 --> 01:14:21,160
Speaker 1: And so then I'm telling everybody, hey, this day to

1726
01:14:21,160 --> 01:14:24,400
Speaker 1: be here. I called her parents, Hey, I'm not messing around.

1727
01:14:24,760 --> 01:14:26,720
Speaker 2: But you know what, even before we got there, when

1728
01:14:26,760 --> 01:14:31,400
Speaker 2: we first kind of started back talking, we had gone

1729
01:14:31,479 --> 01:14:33,439
Speaker 2: back out. We had gone out to dinner with my family,

1730
01:14:33,560 --> 01:14:35,680
Speaker 2: my parents and everybody, because he had not seen them

1731
01:14:35,720 --> 01:14:37,919
Speaker 2: also in like five years, and.

1732
01:14:37,840 --> 01:14:38,960
Speaker 3: My mama was like.

1733
01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:40,720
Speaker 2: He was like, you know, I just want to thank

1734
01:14:40,720 --> 01:14:42,320
Speaker 2: you out for letting me like come back. And my

1735
01:14:42,360 --> 01:14:44,679
Speaker 2: mom was like, okay, well what you're gonna do and

1736
01:14:44,720 --> 01:14:47,680
Speaker 2: he was like you know, I think He was like,

1737
01:14:47,720 --> 01:14:49,640
Speaker 2: you know, I want to I'm serious, I want to

1738
01:14:49,640 --> 01:14:51,080
Speaker 2: be with her. And she was like yeah, because you

1739
01:14:51,120 --> 01:14:52,559
Speaker 2: know how when you were a child and your MoMA

1740
01:14:52,600 --> 01:14:54,400
Speaker 2: like you ain't gonna be coming in and not to stool.

1741
01:14:54,840 --> 01:14:57,080
Speaker 3: Go outside and stay outside to come that's what she said.

1742
01:14:57,160 --> 01:14:59,840
Speaker 3: She was like, now you're not gonna be coming back.

1743
01:15:00,240 --> 01:15:01,800
Speaker 2: She was like, if you back, you're back to say,

1744
01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:06,000
Speaker 2: and he was like, yes, mayamide inside.

1745
01:15:06,439 --> 01:15:09,439
Speaker 3: She said, you ain't coming in and out. So I

1746
01:15:09,479 --> 01:15:10,400
Speaker 3: think kind of you.

1747
01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:13,040
Speaker 4: So so when y'all had that conversation when you start

1748
01:15:13,080 --> 01:15:15,479
Speaker 4: telling your family members in ninety days, y'all wasn't even

1749
01:15:15,479 --> 01:15:16,960
Speaker 4: technically in a relationship relationship.

1750
01:15:17,640 --> 01:15:20,320
Speaker 2: No, and I by the time we got ready, I

1751
01:15:20,320 --> 01:15:21,799
Speaker 2: think it was in like may.

1752
01:15:23,680 --> 01:15:25,360
Speaker 3: I had said, I was like, okay, I think I

1753
01:15:25,360 --> 01:15:27,680
Speaker 3: think I'm ready to maybe be in a relationship now.

1754
01:15:27,720 --> 01:15:28,880
Speaker 3: He was like, girl, don't worry about it.

1755
01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:31,320
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't need that because my mind

1756
01:15:31,360 --> 01:15:35,480
Speaker 1: is in a couple of weeks were getting engaged.

1757
01:15:38,120 --> 01:15:43,480
Speaker 2: Whatever you need, I'm good, Yeah, we can do that.

1758
01:15:43,160 --> 01:15:49,839
Speaker 1: That's cute, right upstairs, Let's do it. You want, no problem?

1759
01:15:50,840 --> 01:15:53,479
Speaker 4: It was like I was like, so that day he

1760
01:15:53,560 --> 01:15:55,120
Speaker 4: really did would have got that ring when she was

1761
01:15:55,160 --> 01:15:56,280
Speaker 4: standing outside.

1762
01:15:55,960 --> 01:15:57,920
Speaker 1: So no, I got I was trying to figure out

1763
01:15:57,920 --> 01:15:59,679
Speaker 1: which one to work, So I didn't buy it then.

1764
01:16:00,160 --> 01:16:03,360
Speaker 1: But then I had another visit about two weeks after that,

1765
01:16:03,560 --> 01:16:05,720
Speaker 1: and so I told her a couple of days later, No,

1766
01:16:06,080 --> 01:16:08,160
Speaker 1: the next visit and I told her my flight was

1767
01:16:08,200 --> 01:16:09,920
Speaker 1: at three, but it's at eleven so I can get

1768
01:16:09,920 --> 01:16:12,040
Speaker 1: back and everything like that. So the next visit I

1769
01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:14,080
Speaker 1: went up and got it and purchased at that time,

1770
01:16:14,200 --> 01:16:16,800
Speaker 1: and we still weren't both a girlfriend that time, So

1771
01:16:16,920 --> 01:16:19,200
Speaker 1: I know I didn't need that title because God already

1772
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:21,080
Speaker 1: told me what was going to happen, so I need

1773
01:16:21,080 --> 01:16:23,640
Speaker 1: that to be a sign. So ultimately, I feel like

1774
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:27,080
Speaker 1: in this example, like God redeemed the time because if

1775
01:16:27,080 --> 01:16:30,680
Speaker 1: you think about us getting engaged Memorial Day and we

1776
01:16:30,760 --> 01:16:33,400
Speaker 1: got married that same year in December, it was an

1777
01:16:33,439 --> 01:16:36,599
Speaker 1: eight month period. We dated for eight months the first

1778
01:16:36,600 --> 01:16:39,360
Speaker 1: time and didn't get anywhere, but in that eight months

1779
01:16:39,400 --> 01:16:42,400
Speaker 1: we were able to get engaged, I moved to Atlanta,

1780
01:16:42,680 --> 01:16:44,280
Speaker 1: and we got married in eight months because it was

1781
01:16:44,280 --> 01:16:48,400
Speaker 1: on God's time. But none of it felt rushed because

1782
01:16:48,400 --> 01:16:50,360
Speaker 1: it all felt like we were on the flow it is.

1783
01:16:50,479 --> 01:16:52,120
Speaker 3: It felt it didn't feel rushed.

1784
01:16:52,160 --> 01:16:54,240
Speaker 2: It felt like a whirlwind like you know and Amos

1785
01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:56,720
Speaker 2: wins like that. It's like Amos nine thirteen. It's like

1786
01:16:56,760 --> 01:16:59,439
Speaker 2: one thing happening fast, like one thing after another.

1787
01:17:00,280 --> 01:17:01,879
Speaker 3: That's what it felt like. It was a whirlwind.

1788
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:04,120
Speaker 2: It was like engaged and like my family had come

1789
01:17:04,200 --> 01:17:08,160
Speaker 2: up for that. So we did that, and then it

1790
01:17:08,200 --> 01:17:10,479
Speaker 2: was like wedding dress shopping like a month later.

1791
01:17:10,560 --> 01:17:12,240
Speaker 3: It was literally just just go.

1792
01:17:12,200 --> 01:17:14,880
Speaker 4: Back when he proposed to you basically, was it really

1793
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:17,439
Speaker 4: two weeks after y'all you you said your little cute

1794
01:17:17,439 --> 01:17:19,320
Speaker 4: little speech likeship.

1795
01:17:19,439 --> 01:17:21,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was because it was in May when I

1796
01:17:21,200 --> 01:17:23,800
Speaker 2: told him and then we came up for more day

1797
01:17:23,840 --> 01:17:25,960
Speaker 2: he had. What he had said was he was like, well,

1798
01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:28,040
Speaker 2: you know, my family's gonna come up. I'm gonna have

1799
01:17:28,080 --> 01:17:29,720
Speaker 2: a cookout.

1800
01:17:29,920 --> 01:17:30,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1801
01:17:30,640 --> 01:17:32,479
Speaker 2: So he was like, we're gonna have my family coming up.

1802
01:17:32,479 --> 01:17:34,000
Speaker 2: They want to see my house. You know, I have

1803
01:17:34,040 --> 01:17:35,320
Speaker 2: a cookout. Do you want to come?

1804
01:17:35,320 --> 01:17:36,800
Speaker 3: And I was like Okay, that'd be nice because I

1805
01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:39,160
Speaker 3: haven't seen him in so long. Yeah, that'd be nice.

1806
01:17:39,320 --> 01:17:43,639
Speaker 2: So we go unbeknownst to me that my family had

1807
01:17:43,680 --> 01:17:45,879
Speaker 2: fun up as well. They were just hanging out in Ohio.

1808
01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:46,960
Speaker 4: They even tell you they.

1809
01:17:46,880 --> 01:17:49,920
Speaker 3: Love I didn't know. I did. I literally when.

1810
01:17:49,760 --> 01:17:52,080
Speaker 4: He got your mom and daddy, who you live?

1811
01:17:52,160 --> 01:17:54,679
Speaker 3: My mama, my daddy, my sister, and my best.

1812
01:17:54,439 --> 01:17:58,919
Speaker 4: Friend still and they flew out and you never knew because.

1813
01:17:58,720 --> 01:17:59,519
Speaker 1: She flew first.

1814
01:17:59,640 --> 01:17:59,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1815
01:18:00,040 --> 01:18:01,280
Speaker 1: So, like I think it was on a Sunday when

1816
01:18:01,320 --> 01:18:03,320
Speaker 1: we got engaged, so she was there the whole weekend.

1817
01:18:03,520 --> 01:18:05,880
Speaker 1: I was like, we're just having a normal weekend. Family

1818
01:18:05,920 --> 01:18:08,679
Speaker 1: came in on Saturday, my uncle came up, anybody was there,

1819
01:18:08,840 --> 01:18:11,280
Speaker 1: just as a cookout on my side. But she didn't

1820
01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:13,800
Speaker 1: know that I talked about her family coming up. They

1821
01:18:13,840 --> 01:18:16,519
Speaker 1: came up on that Saturday, I think in town, walking around.

1822
01:18:16,600 --> 01:18:20,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were just hanging out and so we Yeah,

1823
01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:22,559
Speaker 2: so we ended up I think getting engaged. And it

1824
01:18:22,560 --> 01:18:25,720
Speaker 2: was funny because I really had no idea that we

1825
01:18:25,720 --> 01:18:28,560
Speaker 2: were getting engaged. I was like talking through the proposal

1826
01:18:29,080 --> 01:18:33,160
Speaker 2: because we were supposed to be going to a restaurant.

1827
01:18:32,520 --> 01:18:34,160
Speaker 3: And I was talking to his dad, and his dad

1828
01:18:34,240 --> 01:18:35,439
Speaker 3: was like, you know, I just want to talk to you.

1829
01:18:35,479 --> 01:18:36,759
Speaker 3: And Kevin had gotten back together.

1830
01:18:37,080 --> 01:18:39,240
Speaker 2: His dad's a pastor as well, so his dad is

1831
01:18:39,320 --> 01:18:40,760
Speaker 2: just like, you know, I just want to make sure

1832
01:18:40,920 --> 01:18:43,360
Speaker 2: you know y'all on the right track. So we're just

1833
01:18:43,439 --> 01:18:45,360
Speaker 2: kind of like walking while we're waiting to go to

1834
01:18:45,400 --> 01:18:49,559
Speaker 2: this restaurant and and his dad is like okay, bye,

1835
01:18:49,680 --> 01:18:53,600
Speaker 2: and like walks off, and I'm like, well, whatsation? And

1836
01:18:53,640 --> 01:18:56,519
Speaker 2: so Kevin comes over and Kevin starts talking to me

1837
01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:58,439
Speaker 2: about other stuff and I'm like, okay, well, I think

1838
01:18:58,439 --> 01:19:00,599
Speaker 2: everybody's getting in the cars to go to a restaurants,

1839
01:19:00,600 --> 01:19:02,680
Speaker 2: so we should probably go. And he's like yeah, but

1840
01:19:02,720 --> 01:19:03,800
Speaker 2: I just want to talk to you about this, and

1841
01:19:03,800 --> 01:19:08,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, Kevin, we can talk about this peaiting, Like dude,

1842
01:19:08,120 --> 01:19:09,240
Speaker 2: you don't think we can talk about this.

1843
01:19:09,320 --> 01:19:14,080
Speaker 4: Later, he was waiting for loan.

1844
01:19:16,240 --> 01:19:18,680
Speaker 1: And I just hold up down, but you got to

1845
01:19:18,720 --> 01:19:21,760
Speaker 1: go like just sit down, give me give me thirty.

1846
01:19:21,439 --> 01:19:23,160
Speaker 3: Second because I'm a trying to be considered.

1847
01:19:24,160 --> 01:19:27,640
Speaker 4: It's much for you for you were.

1848
01:19:30,840 --> 01:19:31,960
Speaker 3: And I'm just talking.

1849
01:19:32,880 --> 01:19:36,519
Speaker 2: So he ends up proposing and then my when he

1850
01:19:36,800 --> 01:19:39,559
Speaker 2: when he gets off, they were behind us on like

1851
01:19:39,560 --> 01:19:42,160
Speaker 2: this little balcony thing. So when I stand up and

1852
01:19:42,200 --> 01:19:44,200
Speaker 2: I turn around, They're like, right there, you lost it home.

1853
01:19:44,280 --> 01:19:44,439
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1854
01:19:44,840 --> 01:19:47,280
Speaker 2: I was like so shocked because and I'm super close

1855
01:19:47,320 --> 01:19:49,280
Speaker 2: to my family, so I was like so shocked. So

1856
01:19:49,320 --> 01:19:51,519
Speaker 2: then after that we went to like we had like

1857
01:19:51,560 --> 01:19:54,840
Speaker 2: an engagement lunch, yeah, I think. And then the next

1858
01:19:54,920 --> 01:19:57,639
Speaker 2: morning we had breakfast. I think somebody cater breakfast.

1859
01:19:58,080 --> 01:20:00,639
Speaker 4: So let me ask you this. The next morning, when

1860
01:20:00,640 --> 01:20:03,200
Speaker 4: you woke up and now you see this ring on

1861
01:20:03,240 --> 01:20:05,120
Speaker 4: your finger, how did you feel?

1862
01:20:05,360 --> 01:20:06,480
Speaker 3: I was shocked.

1863
01:20:07,080 --> 01:20:07,360
Speaker 4: I was.

1864
01:20:07,520 --> 01:20:10,000
Speaker 2: And then I was like, well you did cool, Yeah,

1865
01:20:10,520 --> 01:20:12,720
Speaker 2: real good, you know.

1866
01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:15,160
Speaker 3: So I was like, but I was shocked, Like I

1867
01:20:15,240 --> 01:20:17,280
Speaker 3: wasn't expecting it. It was it was.

1868
01:20:17,400 --> 01:20:21,160
Speaker 2: Kevin has absolutely been the example of when God is

1869
01:20:21,240 --> 01:20:24,880
Speaker 2: like exceedingly abundantly. I got more than what I asked

1870
01:20:24,880 --> 01:20:27,040
Speaker 2: for in a ring and a husband and a life,

1871
01:20:27,560 --> 01:20:30,439
Speaker 2: Like it was absolutely worth the way. And we know,

1872
01:20:30,520 --> 01:20:31,960
Speaker 2: we talk about this all the time that if we

1873
01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:35,160
Speaker 2: had if it had worked the first time around.

1874
01:20:35,240 --> 01:20:36,960
Speaker 3: It wouldn't have been like this, it wouldn't have been

1875
01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:38,040
Speaker 3: as sweet like.

1876
01:20:38,320 --> 01:20:41,519
Speaker 2: And so I'm grateful I didn't get a lot of

1877
01:20:41,520 --> 01:20:43,320
Speaker 2: stuff right the first time around, but I do. I'm

1878
01:20:43,360 --> 01:20:45,160
Speaker 2: grateful that I was able to hear the Holy Spirit

1879
01:20:45,200 --> 01:20:47,000
Speaker 2: when he was like you need to let him go,

1880
01:20:47,040 --> 01:20:49,519
Speaker 2: because it was that place of like this this was

1881
01:20:49,600 --> 01:20:52,040
Speaker 2: my was you know, my eyes that it was like

1882
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:53,720
Speaker 2: you need to give it back, like you just you

1883
01:20:53,760 --> 01:20:56,400
Speaker 2: gotta surrender it and you gotta trust me with it.

1884
01:20:56,479 --> 01:20:59,679
Speaker 4: Let me ask you this because a lot of men have,

1885
01:21:00,520 --> 01:21:03,439
Speaker 4: like I always say, and I say it in the podcast,

1886
01:21:03,520 --> 01:21:07,679
Speaker 4: a lot with this red peel and manisphere is built

1887
01:21:07,680 --> 01:21:10,160
Speaker 4: for men who have been hurt by women a lot.

1888
01:21:10,600 --> 01:21:12,720
Speaker 4: And so my question to you, and before I even

1889
01:21:12,760 --> 01:21:14,840
Speaker 4: did this, while I was coming up here, one of

1890
01:21:14,840 --> 01:21:18,000
Speaker 4: my homeboys who dealt with a woman that was a

1891
01:21:18,000 --> 01:21:20,760
Speaker 4: little savage. He's been posting videos about it. Shout out

1892
01:21:20,760 --> 01:21:24,520
Speaker 4: to my boy Corey, but he's been posting videos detailing

1893
01:21:24,880 --> 01:21:27,720
Speaker 4: how he used to be the savage guy and then

1894
01:21:27,800 --> 01:21:30,680
Speaker 4: he got done wrong by woman and the good thing

1895
01:21:30,720 --> 01:21:33,519
Speaker 4: about it. I told him. He called me, said, I

1896
01:21:33,600 --> 01:21:35,599
Speaker 4: just did a lia terrorist in this video where he'd

1897
01:21:35,640 --> 01:21:38,960
Speaker 4: be transparent and vulnerable in his emotions and what I

1898
01:21:39,000 --> 01:21:41,120
Speaker 4: loved about it. And I called him, I said, I

1899
01:21:41,160 --> 01:21:43,680
Speaker 4: love the fact that you were very vulnerable and transparent

1900
01:21:44,160 --> 01:21:47,240
Speaker 4: and basically you took ownership of the decisions that you

1901
01:21:47,320 --> 01:21:50,720
Speaker 4: made in that process. But what happens is a lot

1902
01:21:50,720 --> 01:21:53,400
Speaker 4: of men deal with that where at the beginning, at

1903
01:21:53,400 --> 01:21:56,080
Speaker 4: twenty six years old, he was doing the best he

1904
01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:59,040
Speaker 4: could loving you, and then you say, oh, we're gonna

1905
01:21:59,080 --> 01:22:01,559
Speaker 4: work it out. Next day you wake up. God told

1906
01:22:01,600 --> 01:22:05,439
Speaker 4: me if someone doesn't have a strong relationship with God,

1907
01:22:05,600 --> 01:22:06,679
Speaker 4: that can be damaging.

1908
01:22:06,800 --> 01:22:08,240
Speaker 3: God feels like the source of their pain.

1909
01:22:08,320 --> 01:22:10,640
Speaker 4: You'd be like, yeah, see God, I can't even trust, Like,

1910
01:22:10,760 --> 01:22:13,240
Speaker 4: you told this woman to break up with me. And

1911
01:22:13,280 --> 01:22:15,800
Speaker 4: it's a woman that I felt like checked off all

1912
01:22:15,920 --> 01:22:19,920
Speaker 4: the boxes as the woman that led from a spiritual standpoint,

1913
01:22:19,960 --> 01:22:22,519
Speaker 4: because he said what attracted him to you, you to

1914
01:22:22,600 --> 01:22:25,040
Speaker 4: him was the fact of how you were so spiritual,

1915
01:22:25,280 --> 01:22:27,960
Speaker 4: your spirit attracted So he's saying, this is the best

1916
01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:30,760
Speaker 4: I've gotten. And then she said, you the one that

1917
01:22:30,840 --> 01:22:33,519
Speaker 4: told me told her to leave me? Like, what is

1918
01:22:33,600 --> 01:22:35,840
Speaker 4: up with that? And so my question to you is this,

1919
01:22:35,920 --> 01:22:39,439
Speaker 4: and I'm gonna ask him the second question, but how

1920
01:22:39,520 --> 01:22:44,720
Speaker 4: did you reconcile in your mind that God told you

1921
01:22:44,760 --> 01:22:46,680
Speaker 4: to do that? And the time you did it not

1922
01:22:46,760 --> 01:22:50,599
Speaker 4: hindsight being twenty twenty, what made you say God told

1923
01:22:50,640 --> 01:22:51,920
Speaker 4: me to do that, Why can't they just be you

1924
01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:53,360
Speaker 4: saying that it's not the season.

1925
01:22:53,439 --> 01:22:57,040
Speaker 2: Because I didn't want to, I wouldn't have and when

1926
01:22:57,080 --> 01:22:59,680
Speaker 2: I did it, I immediately regretted it, which is why I

1927
01:22:59,720 --> 01:23:02,160
Speaker 2: was like, you know what I'm saying, because I really

1928
01:23:02,200 --> 01:23:03,960
Speaker 2: did not want to, And if it had been up

1929
01:23:04,000 --> 01:23:09,000
Speaker 2: to me, I would have stayed because I really I

1930
01:23:09,040 --> 01:23:11,120
Speaker 2: really loved Kevin, you know, I just thought he was

1931
01:23:11,160 --> 01:23:14,240
Speaker 2: a wonderful person despite.

1932
01:23:13,920 --> 01:23:16,360
Speaker 3: His short joking.

1933
01:23:16,640 --> 01:23:19,840
Speaker 2: But but yeah, I think I would have stayed. And it,

1934
01:23:20,240 --> 01:23:22,599
Speaker 2: honestly is the hardest thing that I have ever done.

1935
01:23:22,760 --> 01:23:25,840
Speaker 2: But heart doesn't always mean wrong, It just means, you

1936
01:23:25,840 --> 01:23:27,679
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. Sometimes the things that God caused

1937
01:23:27,760 --> 01:23:30,080
Speaker 2: us to do in the spaces where he's asking us

1938
01:23:30,080 --> 01:23:31,519
Speaker 2: to be obedient don't feel good.

1939
01:23:32,000 --> 01:23:34,479
Speaker 3: But if you believe, I mean not to be.

1940
01:23:34,439 --> 01:23:36,439
Speaker 2: Cliche, but if you believe that it's for your good,

1941
01:23:36,479 --> 01:23:38,000
Speaker 2: then you just have to trust that it's going to

1942
01:23:38,080 --> 01:23:41,240
Speaker 2: turn out. And I know that ultimately it felt hard,

1943
01:23:41,280 --> 01:23:43,200
Speaker 2: but I know that God was like saving me from

1944
01:23:43,240 --> 01:23:46,519
Speaker 2: myself because I didn't have the maturity to not run

1945
01:23:46,560 --> 01:23:47,439
Speaker 2: it into the ground.

1946
01:23:47,600 --> 01:23:49,600
Speaker 3: I mean, y'all know I'm direct.

1947
01:23:49,439 --> 01:23:52,679
Speaker 2: So I probably would have just been Yeah, I probably

1948
01:23:52,720 --> 01:23:55,439
Speaker 2: would have just been access it and I'd have been like,

1949
01:23:55,479 --> 01:23:56,600
Speaker 2: you're not doing this right, you.

1950
01:23:56,560 --> 01:23:57,080
Speaker 3: Know what I'm saying.

1951
01:23:57,080 --> 01:23:59,280
Speaker 2: And if you don't have the language to love people,

1952
01:23:59,280 --> 01:24:00,599
Speaker 2: then you have to leave them alone.

1953
01:24:01,479 --> 01:24:04,160
Speaker 4: If you don't have the language to love people, yeah,

1954
01:24:04,479 --> 01:24:05,080
Speaker 4: explain that.

1955
01:24:05,640 --> 01:24:08,280
Speaker 2: You well, I mean you can take it literally, and

1956
01:24:08,320 --> 01:24:10,320
Speaker 2: it's like there are five love languages, but if you

1957
01:24:10,360 --> 01:24:13,639
Speaker 2: can't speak whatever, whatever language is that people need, whatever,

1958
01:24:13,720 --> 01:24:16,280
Speaker 2: Because I always say, you loving me and me feeling loved.

1959
01:24:16,120 --> 01:24:18,960
Speaker 3: By you are not the same thing. That's good, and.

1960
01:24:18,920 --> 01:24:22,320
Speaker 2: So you have to have both, you know what I mean.

1961
01:24:22,439 --> 01:24:24,400
Speaker 2: And so it's like I didn't have the language to

1962
01:24:24,439 --> 01:24:26,160
Speaker 2: leve it. I think that what he needed in that

1963
01:24:26,280 --> 01:24:29,440
Speaker 2: time was not that he did not need his priorities restructure,

1964
01:24:29,439 --> 01:24:31,640
Speaker 2: but he needed me to be patient because he was.

1965
01:24:31,880 --> 01:24:33,880
Speaker 2: He can't be trying to figure it out in his career,

1966
01:24:34,160 --> 01:24:36,240
Speaker 2: trying to figure it out in his friendships, trying to

1967
01:24:36,240 --> 01:24:38,839
Speaker 2: figure it out at church, trying to figure it out spiritually,

1968
01:24:38,880 --> 01:24:40,639
Speaker 2: and then he has to work to figure it out

1969
01:24:40,640 --> 01:24:40,880
Speaker 2: with me.

1970
01:24:41,200 --> 01:24:43,440
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. There has to be grace somewhere.

1971
01:24:43,640 --> 01:24:48,800
Speaker 4: What you said earlier, you said that we both had

1972
01:24:52,200 --> 01:24:54,160
Speaker 4: we ain't got no walk, that I'm on the Jews

1973
01:24:54,200 --> 01:24:57,599
Speaker 4: fast and my body. Yeah, we're on the Jews fast.

1974
01:24:57,640 --> 01:24:59,519
Speaker 4: We're on the Jews fast for three days. It's the

1975
01:24:59,560 --> 01:25:03,240
Speaker 4: last day and my whole body is malfunctioning. I got

1976
01:25:03,280 --> 01:25:06,559
Speaker 4: I started getting cramped, cramp in my back. I was

1977
01:25:06,560 --> 01:25:07,439
Speaker 4: just like, what is going on?

1978
01:25:09,680 --> 01:25:10,200
Speaker 1: I don't know?

1979
01:25:11,080 --> 01:25:16,320
Speaker 4: And so so you said that we both had to

1980
01:25:16,439 --> 01:25:18,280
Speaker 4: pretty much get to a place where we can have

1981
01:25:18,360 --> 01:25:23,559
Speaker 4: grace for each other. Unpack that because what happened in

1982
01:25:23,600 --> 01:25:25,920
Speaker 4: the first season versus the second season, where now you

1983
01:25:26,000 --> 01:25:28,040
Speaker 4: have the grace to cover each other that wasn't president

1984
01:25:28,120 --> 01:25:29,080
Speaker 4: in the past.

1985
01:25:29,720 --> 01:25:31,800
Speaker 2: I think number one, I think you have to when

1986
01:25:31,800 --> 01:25:34,000
Speaker 2: you really know that God has done something, I think

1987
01:25:34,040 --> 01:25:35,880
Speaker 2: you have. I think that gives you a different kind

1988
01:25:35,880 --> 01:25:39,000
Speaker 2: of grace for it, right because it's like if I'm

1989
01:25:39,040 --> 01:25:41,080
Speaker 2: doing something in my own strength, I have to sustain

1990
01:25:41,120 --> 01:25:43,960
Speaker 2: it and I might need grace for it, but I don't.

1991
01:25:44,120 --> 01:25:47,840
Speaker 2: I don't naturally have grace. I need supernatural grace. So

1992
01:25:47,880 --> 01:25:49,760
Speaker 2: it's like if I'm gonna if I'm gonna be with Kevin,

1993
01:25:49,760 --> 01:25:51,320
Speaker 2: and this is the person that God has called me

1994
01:25:51,360 --> 01:25:53,599
Speaker 2: to be with I'm gonna I am grace for him.

1995
01:25:53,960 --> 01:25:56,320
Speaker 2: It may take me a while to uncover that may

1996
01:25:56,400 --> 01:26:00,840
Speaker 2: it may need to be refined. It's probably refined, but yeah,

1997
01:26:01,400 --> 01:26:03,720
Speaker 2: but I have to have grace for him. And I

1998
01:26:03,760 --> 01:26:06,439
Speaker 2: think it's the Holy Spirit that empowers me to have that.

1999
01:26:06,560 --> 01:26:09,680
Speaker 2: And so, and I think the first time around, I

2000
01:26:09,680 --> 01:26:11,840
Speaker 2: think my Holy spirit it was like you don't have it.

2001
01:26:12,120 --> 01:26:15,280
Speaker 2: And while it was a difficult season, I'm grateful for

2002
01:26:15,360 --> 01:26:17,400
Speaker 2: it because it was a little bit of encouragement. It

2003
01:26:17,479 --> 01:26:19,680
Speaker 2: was a little bit of God being like, I got you,

2004
01:26:19,840 --> 01:26:21,600
Speaker 2: I know what you want, I know the desires of

2005
01:26:21,640 --> 01:26:24,160
Speaker 2: your heart. I'm going to meet them, but like not now,

2006
01:26:24,280 --> 01:26:27,519
Speaker 2: not in this season. And so I think the second

2007
01:26:27,520 --> 01:26:31,400
Speaker 2: time around, like I said, I think we were both

2008
01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:34,200
Speaker 2: clear that God had called us to each other versus

2009
01:26:34,240 --> 01:26:36,439
Speaker 2: I think me knowing the first time and him not.

2010
01:26:36,600 --> 01:26:40,120
Speaker 2: Because if two people don't know, it's not a marriage

2011
01:26:40,120 --> 01:26:42,439
Speaker 2: takes two people. Y'all have to be on the same

2012
01:26:42,479 --> 01:26:44,959
Speaker 2: page about God has called us to this and we're both.

2013
01:26:44,760 --> 01:26:46,160
Speaker 3: Gonna do our part to see it through.

2014
01:26:46,360 --> 01:26:49,160
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean we're always carrying equal percentages, but at

2015
01:26:49,200 --> 01:26:53,080
Speaker 2: the end of the day, we both exactly exactly, and

2016
01:26:53,160 --> 01:26:55,280
Speaker 2: so I think that the second time we had the knowing.

2017
01:26:55,360 --> 01:26:56,519
Speaker 3: I think we were more mature.

2018
01:26:56,640 --> 01:26:58,559
Speaker 2: I think we understood that we had messed it up

2019
01:26:58,560 --> 01:27:00,760
Speaker 2: the first time, and so there is.

2020
01:27:00,680 --> 01:27:02,599
Speaker 3: A careful consideration there.

2021
01:27:03,560 --> 01:27:05,720
Speaker 2: And I think I think one of the things that

2022
01:27:05,760 --> 01:27:07,920
Speaker 2: I struggle with the first time as well was like

2023
01:27:07,920 --> 01:27:09,639
Speaker 2: I said, I don't do good and not being a priority.

2024
01:27:09,920 --> 01:27:13,439
Speaker 2: But I think he was much better at knowing Brittany

2025
01:27:13,439 --> 01:27:15,920
Speaker 2: needs to be reassured that I'm here, that I'm saying

2026
01:27:15,960 --> 01:27:17,960
Speaker 2: that I'm not going anywhere, and so I feel like

2027
01:27:17,960 --> 01:27:21,639
Speaker 2: he made great effort to do that this second time around.

2028
01:27:21,920 --> 01:27:24,839
Speaker 2: And I feel like when you make a woman feel secure,

2029
01:27:25,520 --> 01:27:28,599
Speaker 2: everything else will flow from that, you know, I think.

2030
01:27:28,640 --> 01:27:31,120
Speaker 2: I mean, now, obviously, are they're crazy people, sure, but

2031
01:27:31,439 --> 01:27:33,840
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, But I think generally, like

2032
01:27:33,920 --> 01:27:35,720
Speaker 2: and Kevin and Kevin, I'll talk about this all the time.

2033
01:27:35,800 --> 01:27:38,840
Speaker 2: He'll say, I know that if I take care of you,

2034
01:27:39,200 --> 01:27:41,040
Speaker 2: I could do whatever I want to do. Kevin knows

2035
01:27:41,080 --> 01:27:43,679
Speaker 2: I am not going to bother him, but he gonna

2036
01:27:43,680 --> 01:27:44,559
Speaker 2: play golf whatever.

2037
01:27:44,680 --> 01:27:46,040
Speaker 3: I don't bother him. Do what you want to do,

2038
01:27:46,280 --> 01:27:46,479
Speaker 3: you know.

2039
01:27:46,680 --> 01:27:49,880
Speaker 2: But it's like when he I feel like he makes

2040
01:27:50,160 --> 01:27:53,240
Speaker 2: sure to like fill my cup, you know what I mean,

2041
01:27:53,320 --> 01:27:55,519
Speaker 2: and then I'm good. So then it's like I can

2042
01:27:55,560 --> 01:27:57,280
Speaker 2: do the same for him. And I think he just

2043
01:27:57,400 --> 01:27:59,080
Speaker 2: kind of took the lead and it allowed me to

2044
01:27:59,120 --> 01:28:00,240
Speaker 2: follow that.

2045
01:28:00,360 --> 01:28:02,320
Speaker 4: Kevin, what about you when she told you God said,

2046
01:28:02,520 --> 01:28:06,120
Speaker 4: and answer the other question about the grace that you

2047
01:28:06,240 --> 01:28:08,599
Speaker 4: may felt like you had back then or didn't have,

2048
01:28:08,960 --> 01:28:10,800
Speaker 4: and how it looks now. So I answer that two

2049
01:28:10,840 --> 01:28:11,360
Speaker 4: part question.

2050
01:28:11,520 --> 01:28:14,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, when she said God said, it was kind of like, Okay,

2051
01:28:14,160 --> 01:28:17,040
Speaker 1: if that's where God is leading you, I trust your spirit.

2052
01:28:17,160 --> 01:28:19,360
Speaker 1: I don't like it, but that's where we need to

2053
01:28:19,360 --> 01:28:21,360
Speaker 1: be at and it's probably better for both of us

2054
01:28:21,479 --> 01:28:24,800
Speaker 1: to be in that space. So I think even in relationships,

2055
01:28:24,840 --> 01:28:27,280
Speaker 1: just even if I'm the leader of the relationship, I mean,

2056
01:28:27,320 --> 01:28:29,439
Speaker 1: you can't have a season where you are leading something.

2057
01:28:29,800 --> 01:28:32,120
Speaker 1: And so if your spirit is saying this we need

2058
01:28:32,160 --> 01:28:34,840
Speaker 1: to do, I have to trust that spirit. We're a partnership.

2059
01:28:34,960 --> 01:28:37,439
Speaker 1: She's a helpmate. And so at that point God may

2060
01:28:37,439 --> 01:28:39,280
Speaker 1: have gave you something that I don't get till later on,

2061
01:28:39,439 --> 01:28:41,400
Speaker 1: just like he gave you your husband. Well I didn't

2062
01:28:41,400 --> 01:28:43,320
Speaker 1: get it till five years later. So I still have

2063
01:28:43,360 --> 01:28:45,639
Speaker 1: to trust that in her. And I think, to answer

2064
01:28:45,640 --> 01:28:49,599
Speaker 1: your question, the grace piece for me, it was using

2065
01:28:49,600 --> 01:28:52,360
Speaker 1: the funnel of the Holy Spirit to get that because

2066
01:28:52,360 --> 01:28:54,960
Speaker 1: there have been several times, even in our marriage, even

2067
01:28:55,040 --> 01:28:57,880
Speaker 1: as we were going to get married, it was Kevin,

2068
01:28:58,200 --> 01:29:01,920
Speaker 1: stopped on your own. I gave you this gift. I

2069
01:29:01,960 --> 01:29:04,080
Speaker 1: can show you how to love this gift. Stop trying

2070
01:29:04,080 --> 01:29:05,960
Speaker 1: to figure out how to love it by yourself. So

2071
01:29:06,040 --> 01:29:08,479
Speaker 1: even trying to fill her cup, I have to ask God,

2072
01:29:08,520 --> 01:29:10,960
Speaker 1: what does she need in this time? Does she need affirmation?

2073
01:29:11,040 --> 01:29:13,240
Speaker 1: Does she need a touch? Does she need a gift?

2074
01:29:13,240 --> 01:29:14,120
Speaker 1: Does she needs service?

2075
01:29:14,479 --> 01:29:14,599
Speaker 4: Like?

2076
01:29:14,640 --> 01:29:16,840
Speaker 1: How do I help give her love the way that

2077
01:29:16,880 --> 01:29:18,840
Speaker 1: she should be loved? So I really can't do it

2078
01:29:18,880 --> 01:29:20,600
Speaker 1: on my own, So I think, and I try to

2079
01:29:20,600 --> 01:29:22,400
Speaker 1: do my own, I always get out of line. And

2080
01:29:22,439 --> 01:29:24,320
Speaker 1: so it's really going back to the source and saying

2081
01:29:24,360 --> 01:29:26,920
Speaker 1: I gave you that gift. So then ask me how

2082
01:29:26,960 --> 01:29:29,160
Speaker 1: to best use the gift and how to serve the gift.

2083
01:29:30,200 --> 01:29:31,320
Speaker 4: That's good, that's good.

2084
01:29:31,439 --> 01:29:31,880
Speaker 3: That's good.

2085
01:29:32,080 --> 01:29:34,519
Speaker 5: So you mentioned that all of this happened in an

2086
01:29:34,600 --> 01:29:38,840
Speaker 5: eight month period, but you decided to move to Atlanta,

2087
01:29:39,280 --> 01:29:42,320
Speaker 5: which is where she was. So how did you arrive

2088
01:29:42,400 --> 01:29:44,320
Speaker 5: at that decision and how did you Because I know

2089
01:29:45,120 --> 01:29:48,840
Speaker 5: long distance dating is something that some people are apprehensive about,

2090
01:29:49,720 --> 01:29:52,840
Speaker 5: So how did this all come together? And then you know,

2091
01:29:53,080 --> 01:29:55,000
Speaker 5: work the way that we're seeing it work today.

2092
01:29:56,439 --> 01:30:00,800
Speaker 2: I think, so I understand why people are about long

2093
01:30:00,840 --> 01:30:04,680
Speaker 2: to sustaining. I definitely think that. But for having a

2094
01:30:04,720 --> 01:30:08,280
Speaker 2: recommendation from you know, like a mutual friend to introduce us,

2095
01:30:08,320 --> 01:30:11,240
Speaker 2: I think it would have been hard because I mean,

2096
01:30:11,280 --> 01:30:13,880
Speaker 2: people are crazy. You just need people to bet people

2097
01:30:14,040 --> 01:30:16,160
Speaker 2: these days and to vouch for you. So I think

2098
01:30:16,200 --> 01:30:19,719
Speaker 2: that definitely helped. And then I think you can speak

2099
01:30:19,720 --> 01:30:21,400
Speaker 2: to the move how you ended up in Atlanta.

2100
01:30:21,840 --> 01:30:24,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think my job afforded me that

2101
01:30:24,320 --> 01:30:27,040
Speaker 1: ability to be able because the firm was in different

2102
01:30:27,040 --> 01:30:29,799
Speaker 1: places at the time, so I didn't have to actually

2103
01:30:29,920 --> 01:30:34,280
Speaker 1: change my job situation. But I think it was even

2104
01:30:34,280 --> 01:30:36,960
Speaker 1: through prayer, like what should be best, and I knew

2105
01:30:37,040 --> 01:30:39,559
Speaker 1: for me and my life where I was at, it

2106
01:30:39,600 --> 01:30:43,520
Speaker 1: was better to shift and reset my life, reset my community.

2107
01:30:43,720 --> 01:30:45,400
Speaker 1: I still have my friends back there, are still family

2108
01:30:45,439 --> 01:30:48,480
Speaker 1: back there, but it just made sense for our relationship.

2109
01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:51,639
Speaker 1: Where she's at. My parents lived two hours north where

2110
01:30:51,640 --> 01:30:54,560
Speaker 1: I was at, and I was in Columbus, Ohio. My

2111
01:30:54,840 --> 01:30:57,680
Speaker 1: parents are living an actor in Cleveland area. But I

2112
01:30:57,720 --> 01:31:00,519
Speaker 1: think alsomely, if like I can make this move, I

2113
01:31:00,520 --> 01:31:02,559
Speaker 1: can make this adjustment. And I feel like it worked

2114
01:31:02,600 --> 01:31:05,080
Speaker 1: better for our marriage for me to pursue her and

2115
01:31:05,120 --> 01:31:08,599
Speaker 1: go live there, despite I think me wanting to set

2116
01:31:08,680 --> 01:31:11,400
Speaker 1: up everything for her in Ohio. God was like, that's

2117
01:31:11,400 --> 01:31:12,400
Speaker 1: not what you're supposed.

2118
01:31:12,080 --> 01:31:12,479
Speaker 4: To be doing.

2119
01:31:12,560 --> 01:31:17,519
Speaker 2: And I remember when when he came back and I

2120
01:31:17,560 --> 01:31:19,280
Speaker 2: was like, not giving him the time to day.

2121
01:31:19,320 --> 01:31:21,000
Speaker 3: I was like, well, I'm not moving to Ohio and

2122
01:31:21,040 --> 01:31:22,760
Speaker 3: he was like that's fine. I never asked you to move,

2123
01:31:22,800 --> 01:31:25,080
Speaker 3: and I was like, okay, but I was just like.

2124
01:31:27,920 --> 01:31:29,840
Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't know what you're gonna

2125
01:31:29,840 --> 01:31:31,679
Speaker 2: because I'm not moving up there, because initially the first

2126
01:31:31,680 --> 01:31:33,240
Speaker 2: time around, I had said I would move, but I

2127
01:31:33,280 --> 01:31:34,000
Speaker 2: was like, I'm not moving.

2128
01:31:34,080 --> 01:31:34,400
Speaker 3: He was like that.

2129
01:31:36,400 --> 01:31:40,599
Speaker 1: I was just like, I'm.

2130
01:31:40,439 --> 01:31:42,840
Speaker 4: Not going to like I got a house, you live

2131
01:31:42,920 --> 01:31:44,559
Speaker 4: with your parents.

2132
01:31:45,040 --> 01:31:47,599
Speaker 3: And at the time that he came back the second time,

2133
01:31:47,680 --> 01:31:48,280
Speaker 3: I had a house.

2134
01:31:48,360 --> 01:31:50,880
Speaker 4: Okay, so you got a house the first time.

2135
01:31:50,880 --> 01:31:52,479
Speaker 3: I was with my parents. The second time I had out.

2136
01:31:52,520 --> 01:31:54,519
Speaker 4: And then so when you were saying you wasn't you

2137
01:31:54,560 --> 01:31:55,479
Speaker 4: were just being difficult.

2138
01:31:55,560 --> 01:31:58,120
Speaker 3: Yeah. I was like, I'm not doing that. Just yeah,

2139
01:31:58,120 --> 01:32:00,800
Speaker 3: I just because I'm not. I'm not you did pass.

2140
01:32:01,120 --> 01:32:05,320
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna play with him, and so no, and

2141
01:32:05,360 --> 01:32:09,560
Speaker 2: so when we were up, yeah, when we were in Ohio,

2142
01:32:09,680 --> 01:32:13,160
Speaker 2: this was shortly after we had gotten engaged. I think

2143
01:32:13,200 --> 01:32:14,760
Speaker 2: he was like, he was like, I think I'm gonna

2144
01:32:14,760 --> 01:32:18,519
Speaker 2: sell my house and I was like, you are and

2145
01:32:18,560 --> 01:32:20,120
Speaker 2: he was like, yeah, I've been thinking about it. I'm

2146
01:32:20,120 --> 01:32:22,320
Speaker 2: traveling so much, I'm really earlier. I'mna just sell it.

2147
01:32:22,960 --> 01:32:26,080
Speaker 3: And he was just like, yeah, so matter of fact

2148
01:32:26,120 --> 01:32:26,439
Speaker 3: about it.

2149
01:32:26,520 --> 01:32:26,720
Speaker 4: Yeah.

2150
01:32:26,720 --> 01:32:29,000
Speaker 1: But I think it's because I prepared for all of that,

2151
01:32:29,080 --> 01:32:31,639
Speaker 1: Like I spent the time thinking on how this is going.

2152
01:32:31,520 --> 01:32:33,800
Speaker 4: To work, thinking all different things, and.

2153
01:32:33,840 --> 01:32:37,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a very analytical person, so internally I'll think

2154
01:32:37,040 --> 01:32:40,000
Speaker 1: through everything. So once she said nine days was good,

2155
01:32:40,400 --> 01:32:42,400
Speaker 1: I set up for a world day. I called my

2156
01:32:42,479 --> 01:32:45,160
Speaker 1: fan and my moving talk to my boys. This was

2157
01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:47,240
Speaker 1: going on, can we have the wedding at this time?

2158
01:32:47,360 --> 01:32:49,280
Speaker 1: All this is going through my mind, playing the wedding

2159
01:32:49,280 --> 01:32:52,080
Speaker 1: too in my mind because.

2160
01:32:52,080 --> 01:32:54,280
Speaker 4: I'm saying, so you start thinking about when y'all would

2161
01:32:54,280 --> 01:32:57,040
Speaker 4: get married? Correct, So you wasn't playing you wasn't like

2162
01:32:57,080 --> 01:32:59,880
Speaker 4: I'm gonna give her a ring as you know, Hey,

2163
01:33:00,040 --> 01:33:02,240
Speaker 4: it's a hush out for a little bit, and then we're.

2164
01:33:02,160 --> 01:33:04,360
Speaker 1: Gonna work on roads, like we need to get this

2165
01:33:04,439 --> 01:33:06,479
Speaker 1: going at this point, like to me, because I felt

2166
01:33:06,520 --> 01:33:09,240
Speaker 1: like when I hear God speak to me and he

2167
01:33:09,280 --> 01:33:11,920
Speaker 1: speaks to me that clearly I can follow that. Like

2168
01:33:11,960 --> 01:33:13,840
Speaker 1: I had no concern. I mean, now, I was very

2169
01:33:13,840 --> 01:33:17,200
Speaker 1: careful on who I told yes, because not everyone can

2170
01:33:17,280 --> 01:33:19,960
Speaker 1: handle that. And so I told two or three people

2171
01:33:20,320 --> 01:33:22,519
Speaker 1: at the beginning and they all said, no problem, what

2172
01:33:22,600 --> 01:33:25,160
Speaker 1: you need. I'm like, I appreciate that. It's like I

2173
01:33:25,200 --> 01:33:27,280
Speaker 1: got the confirmation from my circle, and so I was like,

2174
01:33:27,400 --> 01:33:29,960
Speaker 1: let's keep moving. So in my head, I'm preparing for

2175
01:33:30,000 --> 01:33:31,640
Speaker 1: all this stuff, thinking about how we need to make

2176
01:33:31,680 --> 01:33:36,000
Speaker 1: it work, and everything. Nothing felt rushed, nothing felt too

2177
01:33:36,120 --> 01:33:37,800
Speaker 1: much to me. She's like, what about this. I'm like,

2178
01:33:37,800 --> 01:33:39,240
Speaker 1: we're good, don't worry about it. We'll figure it out.

2179
01:33:39,240 --> 01:33:41,559
Speaker 1: We'll figure it out. Because but I mean, because I

2180
01:33:41,600 --> 01:33:44,040
Speaker 1: think I was prepared and I already knew what was

2181
01:33:44,080 --> 01:33:46,679
Speaker 1: going to happen. So she's like, what about this? About addressed?

2182
01:33:46,800 --> 01:33:48,720
Speaker 1: It says this long. I'm like, we'll figure it out.

2183
01:33:49,040 --> 01:33:52,519
Speaker 1: So literally we didn't start planning for the wedding until

2184
01:33:52,520 --> 01:33:55,120
Speaker 1: probably April, so we planned a wedding in probably three

2185
01:33:55,200 --> 01:33:58,120
Speaker 1: or four months. So that whole period was an eight

2186
01:33:58,160 --> 01:34:01,960
Speaker 1: month timeframe of us the first time season one struggling

2187
01:34:01,960 --> 01:34:04,000
Speaker 1: through it and now it's like when it's on God's time,

2188
01:34:04,720 --> 01:34:05,720
Speaker 1: everything just went through it.

2189
01:34:06,479 --> 01:34:06,639
Speaker 4: Yep.

2190
01:34:06,680 --> 01:34:08,960
Speaker 1: And there, I mean there was favor with the ring

2191
01:34:09,000 --> 01:34:11,000
Speaker 1: and who he went to for that process was favoring.

2192
01:34:11,040 --> 01:34:12,680
Speaker 1: How so my house at that time, but that was

2193
01:34:12,720 --> 01:34:16,000
Speaker 1: right after COVID so that Mary the mark was up

2194
01:34:16,080 --> 01:34:17,760
Speaker 1: that time, so it was perfect timing and not have

2195
01:34:17,840 --> 01:34:19,519
Speaker 1: to go buy another house at the right time. So

2196
01:34:19,560 --> 01:34:22,160
Speaker 1: then it just all worked out for us in our favor.

2197
01:34:22,400 --> 01:34:24,519
Speaker 1: Things that happened with the wedding, the venue, it was

2198
01:34:24,560 --> 01:34:25,920
Speaker 1: all favor thing.

2199
01:34:26,040 --> 01:34:31,120
Speaker 4: That's good, Lord Jesus, you got any questions, because I'm

2200
01:34:31,120 --> 01:34:35,799
Speaker 4: about to ask another question when you said, why didn't

2201
01:34:35,880 --> 01:34:40,839
Speaker 4: God's word sustain you enough? Meaning at the very beginning

2202
01:34:40,960 --> 01:34:45,040
Speaker 4: you said, God said that this is my husband first date.

2203
01:34:46,040 --> 01:34:49,720
Speaker 4: What made his word return to you void when it

2204
01:34:49,760 --> 01:34:51,240
Speaker 4: didn't work out in that season?

2205
01:34:51,680 --> 01:34:55,479
Speaker 2: That's a good question, I know, because I think you

2206
01:34:55,560 --> 01:34:56,960
Speaker 2: can have a word from God.

2207
01:34:57,160 --> 01:34:57,960
Speaker 3: But I think that.

2208
01:34:59,600 --> 01:35:01,439
Speaker 2: You have I have to have the strength or the

2209
01:35:01,479 --> 01:35:03,240
Speaker 2: wisdom to know how to follow through.

2210
01:35:03,360 --> 01:35:04,760
Speaker 3: And I don't think that.

2211
01:35:05,720 --> 01:35:07,880
Speaker 2: I rarely actually think that God gives you a word

2212
01:35:07,880 --> 01:35:09,720
Speaker 2: where he gives you all of the details and you

2213
01:35:09,760 --> 01:35:13,360
Speaker 2: have a complete understanding and you're mature enough to follow it.

2214
01:35:13,400 --> 01:35:15,280
Speaker 3: I think you need to keep returning to him.

2215
01:35:15,840 --> 01:35:18,120
Speaker 2: I really think it's that concept of like abiding and

2216
01:35:18,160 --> 01:35:19,680
Speaker 2: it's like, Okay, God, you gave me this word, but

2217
01:35:19,680 --> 01:35:21,439
Speaker 2: I'm not sure, so let me come back you know

2218
01:35:21,479 --> 01:35:22,760
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, Or you told me to do this,

2219
01:35:22,840 --> 01:35:23,599
Speaker 2: but this feels hard?

2220
01:35:23,680 --> 01:35:25,919
Speaker 3: Is this right? Or how do you if I believe,

2221
01:35:26,560 --> 01:35:27,439
Speaker 3: if I believe that.

2222
01:35:27,439 --> 01:35:29,120
Speaker 2: This is my husband, how do you want us to

2223
01:35:29,160 --> 01:35:32,040
Speaker 2: work through this situation where we're struggling. I did not

2224
01:35:32,200 --> 01:35:34,000
Speaker 2: have that maturity, And to be honest with you, I

2225
01:35:34,040 --> 01:35:35,519
Speaker 2: feel like a lot of us get married and don't

2226
01:35:35,520 --> 01:35:37,400
Speaker 2: have it, which is why it's like, Okay, I believe

2227
01:35:37,439 --> 01:35:39,080
Speaker 2: you are my husband when we walk down the aisle,

2228
01:35:39,320 --> 01:35:42,200
Speaker 2: but now I want to get a divorced yeah, because yeah,

2229
01:35:42,240 --> 01:35:46,519
Speaker 2: And so it's like literally putting your money where your

2230
01:35:46,520 --> 01:35:50,120
Speaker 2: mouth is, having the words and then saying okay, if

2231
01:35:50,160 --> 01:35:53,200
Speaker 2: I believe, then my reflections will reflect what I believe,

2232
01:35:53,320 --> 01:35:56,320
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, and so it's not just

2233
01:35:56,439 --> 01:36:01,120
Speaker 2: lip service. And it did not. It did not reflect it.

2234
01:36:01,520 --> 01:36:03,479
Speaker 2: I you know, I had a thought, but I'm like, well,

2235
01:36:03,520 --> 01:36:05,760
Speaker 2: if he is not prioritizing me, then this can't be

2236
01:36:05,800 --> 01:36:08,200
Speaker 2: my husband because I'm not marrying nobody that don't prioritize me,

2237
01:36:08,479 --> 01:36:10,799
Speaker 2: you know. And that's even in that's my flesh getting

2238
01:36:11,000 --> 01:36:12,840
Speaker 2: that is my flesh getting in the way. And as

2239
01:36:12,840 --> 01:36:14,439
Speaker 2: my mentor says, you said to the flesh, you're gonna

2240
01:36:14,439 --> 01:36:16,400
Speaker 2: read from the flesh facts, you know. So it's like

2241
01:36:17,200 --> 01:36:20,160
Speaker 2: I needed to be spiritually minded to be like, well, God,

2242
01:36:20,560 --> 01:36:22,680
Speaker 2: you saw this before the foundation of the earth, you

2243
01:36:22,840 --> 01:36:24,920
Speaker 2: ordained it, you aligned it, So how do you want

2244
01:36:24,920 --> 01:36:26,559
Speaker 2: me to move in it and make it?

2245
01:36:26,600 --> 01:36:26,920
Speaker 1: Well?

2246
01:36:27,320 --> 01:36:30,160
Speaker 2: Like now, I'm I'm mature enough to be like, this

2247
01:36:30,400 --> 01:36:32,840
Speaker 2: doesn't look how I think it should look, So give

2248
01:36:32,880 --> 01:36:35,719
Speaker 2: me guidance and if it's not going to look that way,

2249
01:36:35,800 --> 01:36:36,960
Speaker 2: then just make it okay with me.

2250
01:36:37,800 --> 01:36:40,160
Speaker 4: And the prophetic word that was spoken to you in

2251
01:36:40,240 --> 01:36:44,200
Speaker 4: the interim, yeah, when he came back around with those flowers,

2252
01:36:44,200 --> 01:36:46,400
Speaker 4: and well, I don't even say that before the flowers

2253
01:36:46,439 --> 01:36:48,640
Speaker 4: that phone called your mind didn't go back and go

2254
01:36:49,360 --> 01:36:51,960
Speaker 4: that's what the prophet said, or did it come way later?

2255
01:36:54,080 --> 01:36:56,160
Speaker 3: I started to know when he came back that that

2256
01:36:56,360 --> 01:36:56,719
Speaker 3: was God.

2257
01:36:57,360 --> 01:37:00,080
Speaker 2: I don't know if it went back like to the

2258
01:37:00,080 --> 01:37:01,240
Speaker 2: waight of the glory.

2259
01:37:01,360 --> 01:37:06,920
Speaker 3: But one thing I did know is that I knew.

2260
01:37:07,840 --> 01:37:10,000
Speaker 2: I knew that I that I had to be married.

2261
01:37:10,360 --> 01:37:12,439
Speaker 2: I have always known my entire life, I have been

2262
01:37:12,439 --> 01:37:14,040
Speaker 2: an encourager of women in relationship.

2263
01:37:14,040 --> 01:37:15,519
Speaker 3: I'm that person like girl on LAMB try do you

2264
01:37:15,600 --> 01:37:17,960
Speaker 3: like that? You know what I'm saying? Like, that's me, Kevin.

2265
01:37:18,040 --> 01:37:19,519
Speaker 2: No, I'll be on the phone and he was like, bring,

2266
01:37:19,680 --> 01:37:21,320
Speaker 2: who are you talking to me? It was like and

2267
01:37:21,360 --> 01:37:24,639
Speaker 2: I'm like that is me all day long. Like I'm

2268
01:37:24,680 --> 01:37:27,600
Speaker 2: always encouraging women now to settle, always encouraging women to

2269
01:37:27,640 --> 01:37:30,160
Speaker 2: wait for God's best because I believe that it exists.

2270
01:37:30,520 --> 01:37:33,479
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. And so it's like I

2271
01:37:33,560 --> 01:37:35,240
Speaker 2: knew that I was going to be in a space.

2272
01:37:35,600 --> 01:37:37,680
Speaker 2: Like I said, I had a little blog when we

2273
01:37:37,720 --> 01:37:39,679
Speaker 2: first met. I knew that that's what I was called

2274
01:37:39,680 --> 01:37:42,920
Speaker 2: to do. And so for me, I could not imagine

2275
01:37:42,920 --> 01:37:47,520
Speaker 2: being coupled with a person that it was going to

2276
01:37:47,560 --> 01:37:50,920
Speaker 2: shrink or limit my ability to walk in what I

2277
01:37:50,960 --> 01:37:52,880
Speaker 2: felt like God had called me to do that was

2278
01:37:52,960 --> 01:37:55,920
Speaker 2: not gonna work. And if those things were competing, then

2279
01:37:55,960 --> 01:37:58,880
Speaker 2: you can be my compliment. And so I felt like,

2280
01:37:59,479 --> 01:38:00,960
Speaker 2: I I know, and.

2281
01:38:00,880 --> 01:38:03,679
Speaker 3: I started, why did I start saying that.

2282
01:38:03,520 --> 01:38:05,400
Speaker 4: Was the guy that you dated with a guy before that?

2283
01:38:05,560 --> 01:38:06,000
Speaker 1: Oh? Yes?

2284
01:38:06,200 --> 01:38:13,160
Speaker 2: So if I was, yes, so, And so I started,

2285
01:38:13,200 --> 01:38:15,439
Speaker 2: as I started to be clear on what it was

2286
01:38:15,600 --> 01:38:17,400
Speaker 2: I knew I was called to do, I started to

2287
01:38:17,400 --> 01:38:21,040
Speaker 2: look around to say, do these people compliment that fact

2288
01:38:21,120 --> 01:38:23,080
Speaker 2: or is it going to be competing? And and that

2289
01:38:23,200 --> 01:38:25,720
Speaker 2: was a sign to me as well. And so I

2290
01:38:25,800 --> 01:38:27,920
Speaker 2: knew that like, if I can't, if I can't operate

2291
01:38:27,920 --> 01:38:30,960
Speaker 2: in this space with you, this is not this is

2292
01:38:30,960 --> 01:38:33,280
Speaker 2: not a good fit because this is what I'm supposed

2293
01:38:33,320 --> 01:38:35,040
Speaker 2: to be doing. And so for Kevin, and Kevin is

2294
01:38:35,120 --> 01:38:40,760
Speaker 2: a super private person, he really is, but he has

2295
01:38:41,280 --> 01:38:43,599
Speaker 2: every time and at every turn, if I have needed

2296
01:38:43,640 --> 01:38:46,160
Speaker 2: him to do something, he is like, I'm gonna pray

2297
01:38:46,160 --> 01:38:48,519
Speaker 2: about it, and he always comes back with like, I'm

2298
01:38:48,800 --> 01:38:51,960
Speaker 2: I'm never gonna not I'm never gonna rob God.

2299
01:38:51,800 --> 01:38:53,600
Speaker 3: Of his glory. So if that means that I have

2300
01:38:53,640 --> 01:38:54,919
Speaker 3: to step outside of myself.

2301
01:38:55,160 --> 01:38:56,720
Speaker 4: Is that the word you say, I'm never gonna rob

2302
01:38:56,760 --> 01:38:57,960
Speaker 4: God from his glory.

2303
01:38:57,680 --> 01:38:59,439
Speaker 1: And something I've said it before, not every.

2304
01:38:59,280 --> 01:39:00,920
Speaker 4: Time, at that statement.

2305
01:39:00,960 --> 01:39:04,559
Speaker 1: That's a beautiful story because I think I've dealt with

2306
01:39:04,600 --> 01:39:07,360
Speaker 1: this back and forth with my mentor It's like, why

2307
01:39:07,400 --> 01:39:10,080
Speaker 1: am I trying to rob God of his glory just

2308
01:39:10,120 --> 01:39:13,000
Speaker 1: so that I can feel comfortable, Like that's all it is,

2309
01:39:13,080 --> 01:39:15,320
Speaker 1: me being in my comfort saying I do not want

2310
01:39:15,360 --> 01:39:18,120
Speaker 1: to do a podcast, I do not want to be

2311
01:39:18,240 --> 01:39:21,639
Speaker 1: on social media. But our initial goal of our marriage

2312
01:39:21,680 --> 01:39:23,880
Speaker 1: was for our marriage to be a ministry, and it

2313
01:39:23,880 --> 01:39:26,400
Speaker 1: can't be a ministry just in my house. I can't

2314
01:39:26,439 --> 01:39:29,280
Speaker 1: be us and our family. So if I want that

2315
01:39:29,320 --> 01:39:31,519
Speaker 1: to actually happen, then I have to be willing to

2316
01:39:31,520 --> 01:39:33,800
Speaker 1: be out my comfort zone, be willing to share my

2317
01:39:33,840 --> 01:39:36,439
Speaker 1: testimony because it's for his glory, not mine. So at

2318
01:39:36,479 --> 01:39:38,880
Speaker 1: the end of the day, God, whatever you want to do,

2319
01:39:39,160 --> 01:39:41,639
Speaker 1: I'm open Now. It may take me while to get there,

2320
01:39:41,720 --> 01:39:43,840
Speaker 1: but help my heart get there so that I can

2321
01:39:43,880 --> 01:39:46,080
Speaker 1: do with the right motives, with a pure heart, and

2322
01:39:46,080 --> 01:39:47,920
Speaker 1: that I can give you glory for it and it's

2323
01:39:47,920 --> 01:39:48,519
Speaker 1: not about me.

2324
01:39:48,920 --> 01:39:50,960
Speaker 2: Oh, and that's what I'm saying, so I feel like

2325
01:39:51,160 --> 01:39:54,679
Speaker 2: I knew when Kevin kind of you said that that

2326
01:39:54,800 --> 01:39:57,640
Speaker 2: part came back to my mind about like God is

2327
01:39:57,680 --> 01:39:59,439
Speaker 2: going to send you somebody that can handle the weight

2328
01:39:59,479 --> 01:40:01,479
Speaker 2: of your glory. They can handle the things that He

2329
01:40:01,520 --> 01:40:04,400
Speaker 2: has called me to carry. And he does that so beautifully.

2330
01:40:04,439 --> 01:40:07,360
Speaker 2: I mean for all the things for you know, not

2331
01:40:07,400 --> 01:40:09,120
Speaker 2: just like being on a podcast. Like if there's been

2332
01:40:09,120 --> 01:40:11,800
Speaker 2: something that I want to do like speak or share

2333
01:40:11,960 --> 01:40:14,160
Speaker 2: or just anything, He's like, what do you need? He

2334
01:40:14,240 --> 01:40:17,840
Speaker 2: is very much that like that anchor, those roots underground,

2335
01:40:17,880 --> 01:40:20,000
Speaker 2: like they don't exist to be seen, they just hold

2336
01:40:20,040 --> 01:40:20,559
Speaker 2: you steady.

2337
01:40:20,920 --> 01:40:21,559
Speaker 3: That is him.

2338
01:40:21,640 --> 01:40:25,280
Speaker 2: He is like a Okay, I've made Kevin will book

2339
01:40:25,280 --> 01:40:27,280
Speaker 2: a flight for me. He will book a hotel, he

2340
01:40:27,320 --> 01:40:29,519
Speaker 2: will do everything. He's like, okay, what do you need?

2341
01:40:29,720 --> 01:40:31,519
Speaker 4: Like would you do speaking engagements and stuff?

2342
01:40:31,640 --> 01:40:33,840
Speaker 3: I would. I would love to because I just love

2343
01:40:33,880 --> 01:40:34,599
Speaker 3: to encourage women.

2344
01:40:34,640 --> 01:40:36,320
Speaker 2: I've been doing it anyway, like I mean, you know,

2345
01:40:36,479 --> 01:40:38,200
Speaker 2: just like one on one or just talk to about So.

2346
01:40:38,200 --> 01:40:39,840
Speaker 4: What are you thinking? So what do you think your

2347
01:40:40,120 --> 01:40:43,599
Speaker 4: calling is? Because I know you said you were doing

2348
01:40:43,640 --> 01:40:47,519
Speaker 4: this prior to marriage, encouraging women, and now you know

2349
01:40:47,760 --> 01:40:50,240
Speaker 4: that this marriage is a ministry. What do you think

2350
01:40:50,680 --> 01:40:51,559
Speaker 4: is the big picture.

2351
01:40:52,160 --> 01:40:54,479
Speaker 2: I think the big picture is to help people see

2352
01:40:54,520 --> 01:40:57,200
Speaker 2: that God is not limited to statistics. God is not

2353
01:40:57,280 --> 01:41:01,400
Speaker 2: limited to time. God is not limited by by our

2354
01:41:01,479 --> 01:41:05,560
Speaker 2: own like standards. I think that He can do exceedingly.

2355
01:41:05,800 --> 01:41:08,360
Speaker 2: He literally can do exceedingly above and beyond all that

2356
01:41:08,400 --> 01:41:11,040
Speaker 2: we can ask or think, and that I think so

2357
01:41:11,120 --> 01:41:15,200
Speaker 2: many of us miss it because we don't have the

2358
01:41:15,240 --> 01:41:17,080
Speaker 2: maturity to act on what we say.

2359
01:41:17,080 --> 01:41:18,479
Speaker 3: We believe, you know what I mean?

2360
01:41:19,560 --> 01:41:22,000
Speaker 2: And sure there like I don't want to be ignorant

2361
01:41:22,000 --> 01:41:25,439
Speaker 2: of like certain factors, you know, ratios and all that

2362
01:41:25,520 --> 01:41:29,560
Speaker 2: kind of stuff. But it's either gonna be natural or supernatural.

2363
01:41:29,560 --> 01:41:30,360
Speaker 2: But it can't be both.

2364
01:41:30,880 --> 01:41:31,360
Speaker 4: That's good.

2365
01:41:31,520 --> 01:41:34,360
Speaker 3: So it's like, are you leaning into the supernatural?

2366
01:41:34,360 --> 01:41:37,519
Speaker 2: Because it's like I can remember I'm just a person,

2367
01:41:37,880 --> 01:41:40,040
Speaker 2: and I say this, I think having faith you gotta

2368
01:41:40,040 --> 01:41:41,000
Speaker 2: be a little delulul.

2369
01:41:41,080 --> 01:41:42,240
Speaker 3: I can remember talking.

2370
01:41:42,000 --> 01:41:44,719
Speaker 2: To one of my friends and she has a wonderful husband.

2371
01:41:44,800 --> 01:41:47,200
Speaker 2: This is like over a decade ago, and she was

2372
01:41:47,200 --> 01:41:49,200
Speaker 2: talking about him. I was not with Kevin at all.

2373
01:41:49,200 --> 01:41:50,800
Speaker 3: And she was like, oh, She's like, yeah, my husbands

2374
01:41:50,800 --> 01:41:51,240
Speaker 3: so wonderful.

2375
01:41:51,280 --> 01:41:52,879
Speaker 2: She was like, he's a little bit of a unicorn,

2376
01:41:53,120 --> 01:41:55,800
Speaker 2: And I remember thinking to myself, I'm like, he ain't

2377
01:41:55,800 --> 01:41:57,799
Speaker 2: that much of a unicorn that I can't have a unicorn,

2378
01:41:58,080 --> 01:41:59,560
Speaker 2: Like you know what I'm saying, Like, God, no, love you,

2379
01:41:59,600 --> 01:42:00,479
Speaker 2: no more than he loved me.

2380
01:42:00,560 --> 01:42:02,120
Speaker 3: So if he got a unicorn for you, he got

2381
01:42:02,120 --> 01:42:03,640
Speaker 3: an uniform for me, you know.

2382
01:42:03,720 --> 01:42:06,800
Speaker 2: And I just really believe that, like, and that kept

2383
01:42:06,840 --> 01:42:09,000
Speaker 2: me from being like, no, this don't feel good. I

2384
01:42:09,000 --> 01:42:10,920
Speaker 2: don't want it, you know what I mean, Like my

2385
01:42:10,960 --> 01:42:14,680
Speaker 2: standards were so high that literally it's a conviction for me.

2386
01:42:15,640 --> 01:42:19,400
Speaker 4: This is what I told you people DM me requesting

2387
01:42:19,400 --> 01:42:21,840
Speaker 4: that I have you, And this is TAJ shout out

2388
01:42:21,840 --> 01:42:25,840
Speaker 4: to you. TAJ At seven fifty five this morning, she

2389
01:42:26,200 --> 01:42:29,040
Speaker 4: DM me and said, hello, can y'all please and all

2390
01:42:29,120 --> 01:42:33,320
Speaker 4: caps check out miss Britney McIntyre here on IG and

2391
01:42:33,400 --> 01:42:35,479
Speaker 4: have her on the show for the girls who are

2392
01:42:35,520 --> 01:42:39,280
Speaker 4: really waiting on God and or got a word. Her

2393
01:42:39,360 --> 01:42:42,519
Speaker 4: story and what she's doing with her platform is so encouraging.

2394
01:42:43,880 --> 01:42:46,479
Speaker 4: And I was like, I was like, God, you had

2395
01:42:47,040 --> 01:42:49,400
Speaker 4: and I sent the you know, right before we got finished,

2396
01:42:50,000 --> 01:42:52,160
Speaker 4: right before we got ready to record, I took a

2397
01:42:52,200 --> 01:42:56,479
Speaker 4: picture of you and your husband and sent it to her. Yeah,

2398
01:42:57,040 --> 01:42:59,240
Speaker 4: but that's what I'm talking about. But if you are

2399
01:42:59,280 --> 01:43:02,639
Speaker 4: aligned with somebody or misaligned with somebody that don't let

2400
01:43:02,680 --> 01:43:04,280
Speaker 4: you shine, don't let you do that.

2401
01:43:04,320 --> 01:43:08,400
Speaker 2: Then it doesn't work and it eclipses God. Right, you

2402
01:43:08,439 --> 01:43:10,280
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. It's like God wants to move

2403
01:43:10,320 --> 01:43:11,920
Speaker 2: how he wants to move in our lives so that

2404
01:43:12,000 --> 01:43:14,240
Speaker 2: other people get the benefit, Like how the people that

2405
01:43:14,280 --> 01:43:15,240
Speaker 2: were blessed by your.

2406
01:43:15,160 --> 01:43:16,040
Speaker 3: Story, you know what I mean.

2407
01:43:16,080 --> 01:43:18,760
Speaker 2: But it's like, just imagine if Ashley had been like, nah,

2408
01:43:19,360 --> 01:43:19,680
Speaker 2: you know.

2409
01:43:19,840 --> 01:43:21,240
Speaker 3: I'm good on that.

2410
01:43:21,360 --> 01:43:24,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, you go ahead and do it, you know, I mean,

2411
01:43:24,760 --> 01:43:27,639
Speaker 2: and she has brought, like, you know, something that only

2412
01:43:27,680 --> 01:43:30,519
Speaker 2: she could have brought to this platform, and so I

2413
01:43:30,760 --> 01:43:33,040
Speaker 2: just I never want to do that. And God has

2414
01:43:33,080 --> 01:43:36,120
Speaker 2: been so good to us, you know, and to the

2415
01:43:36,160 --> 01:43:38,800
Speaker 2: point that it's like I have always told God. I

2416
01:43:38,840 --> 01:43:40,479
Speaker 2: was like, if you give me anything good, you can

2417
01:43:40,520 --> 01:43:42,559
Speaker 2: trust me to share it. You can trust me to share.

2418
01:43:42,560 --> 01:43:44,400
Speaker 2: You ain't got to worry about it. In fact, just

2419
01:43:44,439 --> 01:43:46,840
Speaker 2: go ahead and test me. Send me some something good,

2420
01:43:46,920 --> 01:43:48,519
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, Like, and I Am going

2421
01:43:48,600 --> 01:43:50,800
Speaker 2: to share it because I just really believe that.

2422
01:43:52,479 --> 01:43:54,800
Speaker 3: I just really believe that that is what he is

2423
01:43:54,840 --> 01:43:56,800
Speaker 3: looking for. And I am not.

2424
01:43:57,680 --> 01:43:59,599
Speaker 2: I am never so pressed to be married that I'm

2425
01:43:59,600 --> 01:44:01,599
Speaker 2: gonna come promise that, you know what I'm saying.

2426
01:44:02,000 --> 01:44:04,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I really I think the robbing God of

2427
01:44:04,880 --> 01:44:09,519
Speaker 5: his glory is so good right now for me just because,

2428
01:44:10,320 --> 01:44:12,960
Speaker 5: like dear future wife, I could have been behind the

2429
01:44:13,080 --> 01:44:14,080
Speaker 5: scenes and I.

2430
01:44:14,080 --> 01:44:17,640
Speaker 6: Would have been like right here, like like go babe, go, babe, go.

2431
01:44:18,640 --> 01:44:21,240
Speaker 5: But I just want to celebrate him because when you

2432
01:44:21,439 --> 01:44:26,160
Speaker 5: when you come into covenant with someone who sees your gifts, they.

2433
01:44:26,040 --> 01:44:28,400
Speaker 6: Will also help you.

2434
01:44:29,040 --> 01:44:31,439
Speaker 5: The Bible says, your gift will make room for you

2435
01:44:31,800 --> 01:44:39,400
Speaker 5: and bring you before great men, and then and then

2436
01:44:39,439 --> 01:44:42,280
Speaker 5: your covenant will bring you before other great men where

2437
01:44:42,320 --> 01:44:45,680
Speaker 5: you can have impact and be able to impact for

2438
01:44:46,080 --> 01:44:48,280
Speaker 5: you know, have impact in the kingdom for his glory.

2439
01:44:48,400 --> 01:44:51,800
Speaker 5: So it's a blessing to hear the testimony and to

2440
01:44:51,840 --> 01:44:55,880
Speaker 5: see other kingdom minded couples who are you know, using

2441
01:44:55,880 --> 01:44:57,560
Speaker 5: their gifts for God's glory.

2442
01:44:57,360 --> 01:45:01,320
Speaker 4: Because like like Kevin, actually she has a social media

2443
01:45:01,360 --> 01:45:03,639
Speaker 4: but she wasn't posting nothing. She was she ain't gonna

2444
01:45:03,640 --> 01:45:04,080
Speaker 4: post nothing.

2445
01:45:04,280 --> 01:45:06,000
Speaker 3: I actually had more than five pictures.

2446
01:45:05,880 --> 01:45:12,240
Speaker 4: I did about twelve.

2447
01:45:10,040 --> 01:45:12,920
Speaker 5: Digits, Like I think I had my age, so I

2448
01:45:13,000 --> 01:45:17,400
Speaker 5: was like thirty seventhday.

2449
01:45:17,720 --> 01:45:17,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

2450
01:45:18,720 --> 01:45:21,599
Speaker 4: Every So she just wasn't into social media like that,

2451
01:45:21,680 --> 01:45:24,800
Speaker 4: and she's like, you very private, ain't about to be

2452
01:45:24,840 --> 01:45:27,000
Speaker 4: telling all the business on social media and all that,

2453
01:45:27,240 --> 01:45:29,280
Speaker 4: and so that's just what it was. But when I

2454
01:45:29,320 --> 01:45:31,479
Speaker 4: met her, I was like, and the first time I

2455
01:45:31,520 --> 01:45:34,600
Speaker 4: talked to her, I said, have you ever do you

2456
01:45:34,680 --> 01:45:36,640
Speaker 4: ever call in your life to preach? Like what is

2457
01:45:36,680 --> 01:45:38,479
Speaker 4: this I see over you? And she was like, well, no,

2458
01:45:38,920 --> 01:45:40,960
Speaker 4: you know, I don't you know, and you know, she

2459
01:45:41,080 --> 01:45:43,880
Speaker 4: shot away from it. But all that told me was

2460
01:45:43,920 --> 01:45:48,720
Speaker 4: that I could discern what's inside of her. It's like

2461
01:45:48,880 --> 01:45:51,800
Speaker 4: finding a beautiful diamond. A diamond when you find it

2462
01:45:51,840 --> 01:45:54,600
Speaker 4: in the rough does not look like a diamond. And

2463
01:45:54,680 --> 01:45:57,559
Speaker 4: so I said, I see this diamond in her. Let

2464
01:45:57,600 --> 01:46:00,519
Speaker 4: me just cultivate that. Let me begin to holl of shit,

2465
01:46:00,600 --> 01:46:04,280
Speaker 4: let me just begin to just nurture it. And so

2466
01:46:04,360 --> 01:46:06,559
Speaker 4: then when it comes on the Dear Future Wifey podcast

2467
01:46:06,680 --> 01:46:09,120
Speaker 4: is shining and you and people have watched therese people.

2468
01:46:09,280 --> 01:46:11,479
Speaker 4: It's funny because people leave comments. I was reading some

2469
01:46:11,520 --> 01:46:13,960
Speaker 4: comments when we were reading some comments yesterday, and they

2470
01:46:14,000 --> 01:46:15,920
Speaker 4: was like, I love how I accident I came into

2471
01:46:15,920 --> 01:46:18,439
Speaker 4: her own. She came into her own. Now you know

2472
01:46:18,439 --> 01:46:20,439
Speaker 4: what I'm saying, because they watching that, and that's what

2473
01:46:20,479 --> 01:46:22,599
Speaker 4: I was telling. I said, listen, if you go look

2474
01:46:22,640 --> 01:46:25,120
Speaker 4: at my earlier episodes A Dear Future Wife, it was

2475
01:46:25,200 --> 01:46:28,280
Speaker 4: just me by myself. I hated talking by myself. I

2476
01:46:28,400 --> 01:46:30,599
Speaker 4: was so nervous, I said, but I had the power

2477
01:46:30,640 --> 01:46:32,439
Speaker 4: of the edit. I said, you don't know that that

2478
01:46:32,560 --> 01:46:35,000
Speaker 4: episode when I'm talking, I talked for thirty forty five

2479
01:46:35,040 --> 01:46:37,719
Speaker 4: minutes and I edited down to twelve minutes because I said,

2480
01:46:37,760 --> 01:46:40,879
Speaker 4: I'm just rambling. I ain't talking about that. I'm nervous.

2481
01:46:40,920 --> 01:46:43,080
Speaker 4: I can see it. My mouth didn't dry. So I

2482
01:46:43,200 --> 01:46:45,800
Speaker 4: just edited, and I gave myself permission to grow in

2483
01:46:45,800 --> 01:46:48,400
Speaker 4: front of people. And that's what people respected. That's what

2484
01:46:48,439 --> 01:46:50,760
Speaker 4: people loved. They was like, we love how you just

2485
01:46:50,840 --> 01:46:54,280
Speaker 4: show up authentic and transparent. And I said, look at

2486
01:46:54,280 --> 01:46:56,800
Speaker 4: what you do exactly. So I said, aid, I'm giving

2487
01:46:56,800 --> 01:46:58,559
Speaker 4: you the same thing. You're not going to be perfect

2488
01:46:58,600 --> 01:47:02,400
Speaker 4: at the very beginning bit of a perfectionist, uh personality.

2489
01:47:02,600 --> 01:47:08,000
Speaker 6: Perfection excellence is a habit, and.

2490
01:47:07,920 --> 01:47:10,200
Speaker 4: So so I was like, no, give yourself grace to

2491
01:47:10,320 --> 01:47:12,760
Speaker 4: figure it out. As you're figuring out and so and

2492
01:47:12,800 --> 01:47:14,960
Speaker 4: that's what it was. And now she's just shining and

2493
01:47:15,000 --> 01:47:17,200
Speaker 4: doing an amazing job. We're doing live, So first you

2494
01:47:17,200 --> 01:47:20,839
Speaker 4: didn't like doing all the live events, and I was like, Ashley,

2495
01:47:20,920 --> 01:47:22,479
Speaker 4: this is this is, this is this is, this is

2496
01:47:22,479 --> 01:47:29,040
Speaker 4: where we are. So this weekend we're doing Nashville. We're

2497
01:47:29,040 --> 01:47:33,880
Speaker 4: doing Bishop Walker's Church doing a relationship where they doing

2498
01:47:33,960 --> 01:47:38,240
Speaker 4: Relationship weekend and so we'll be they'll be interviewing us,

2499
01:47:38,520 --> 01:47:42,200
Speaker 4: and then the next day Shining and Pastor Key and

2500
01:47:42,320 --> 01:47:45,559
Speaker 4: they'll be doing something there. And then on Saturday, we're

2501
01:47:45,560 --> 01:47:48,040
Speaker 4: doing the Known Conference and so we're we're and that's

2502
01:47:48,040 --> 01:47:51,120
Speaker 4: a d C. And then next week we go do Detroit.

2503
01:47:51,160 --> 01:47:54,840
Speaker 4: So when this episode drops, Detroit will be coming up

2504
01:47:55,160 --> 01:47:58,839
Speaker 4: this Saturday. So make sure that you get your tickets

2505
01:47:58,920 --> 01:48:01,719
Speaker 4: right now. People in the Detroit people that's even driving

2506
01:48:01,760 --> 01:48:04,759
Speaker 4: distance away from Detroit, we want you to purchase the tickets.

2507
01:48:04,920 --> 01:48:07,799
Speaker 4: Link will be in the bio to get your tickets

2508
01:48:07,800 --> 01:48:09,559
Speaker 4: to pull up. And we got all kind of other

2509
01:48:09,600 --> 01:48:11,599
Speaker 4: events that I'm be letting y'all know about as they

2510
01:48:11,600 --> 01:48:14,240
Speaker 4: are are coming forth. But I just want to tell

2511
01:48:14,280 --> 01:48:16,559
Speaker 4: you right now in front of the world that You're

2512
01:48:16,600 --> 01:48:20,240
Speaker 4: doing an amazing job. And God did his big one

2513
01:48:20,360 --> 01:48:23,280
Speaker 4: when he blessed me with you, you know, And it

2514
01:48:23,360 --> 01:48:28,360
Speaker 4: continues to be confirmed reaffirmed by every day that I

2515
01:48:28,479 --> 01:48:32,240
Speaker 4: wake up with you, the willingness that you have to

2516
01:48:32,360 --> 01:48:34,800
Speaker 4: even sit in front of an audience as big as

2517
01:48:34,840 --> 01:48:38,040
Speaker 4: this and say, hey, I'll do it afraid. And Joyce

2518
01:48:38,080 --> 01:48:40,479
Speaker 4: Myers always said that, she said just do it afraid.

2519
01:48:40,800 --> 01:48:43,680
Speaker 4: And I was glad that you were willing to just

2520
01:48:43,760 --> 01:48:46,519
Speaker 4: do it afraid. And I love you and I appreciate you.

2521
01:48:47,000 --> 01:48:52,440
Speaker 5: Beautiful, amazing, And I will say that because I'm a perfectionist.

2522
01:48:52,800 --> 01:48:56,799
Speaker 5: That's why like not having cards and just talking freely

2523
01:48:57,000 --> 01:48:59,360
Speaker 5: and then going to live events where people ask me questions,

2524
01:48:59,400 --> 01:49:01,680
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh my gosh, because I'm an overthinker. So

2525
01:49:01,720 --> 01:49:03,920
Speaker 5: that when you're a perfectionist, you're like, how did I

2526
01:49:03,960 --> 01:49:08,240
Speaker 5: say that? Did that sound okay? Did someone interpret that wrong?

2527
01:49:08,439 --> 01:49:10,920
Speaker 5: Did I stumble over a word? Did I have a

2528
01:49:10,960 --> 01:49:13,160
Speaker 5: real moment, like a real human moment?

2529
01:49:13,560 --> 01:49:13,720
Speaker 1: Right?

2530
01:49:13,760 --> 01:49:16,280
Speaker 3: And so that's all like so outside of me.

2531
01:49:16,760 --> 01:49:21,120
Speaker 5: But I had started something called the belief Gap to

2532
01:49:21,240 --> 01:49:25,120
Speaker 5: have conversations with people who I believe needed to close

2533
01:49:25,160 --> 01:49:27,719
Speaker 5: their belief gap to get whatever it was in life

2534
01:49:27,760 --> 01:49:33,639
Speaker 5: that they wanted to have. I was like my early thirties,

2535
01:49:34,200 --> 01:49:37,559
Speaker 5: and so I wanted to have conversations with people that

2536
01:49:37,720 --> 01:49:41,720
Speaker 5: either in business, in love, in whatever area of their

2537
01:49:41,760 --> 01:49:45,639
Speaker 5: life were like I felt not achieving what they wanted

2538
01:49:45,680 --> 01:49:48,479
Speaker 5: to achieve because I thought, you know, like you do

2539
01:49:48,560 --> 01:49:51,120
Speaker 5: have to work hard. Ten percent of it is the work,

2540
01:49:51,280 --> 01:49:54,360
Speaker 5: but you have to really viscerally believe, like you believed

2541
01:49:54,600 --> 01:49:57,160
Speaker 5: this was your wife, and guess what, you got your

2542
01:49:57,200 --> 01:50:01,439
Speaker 5: wife and granted God confirmed it. But when you know

2543
01:50:01,600 --> 01:50:04,200
Speaker 5: that something, when you know what you know what, you know,

2544
01:50:04,920 --> 01:50:07,639
Speaker 5: like you're unstoppable. And so I was like, oh, let's

2545
01:50:07,640 --> 01:50:10,000
Speaker 5: have these conversations. And then God sends me him and

2546
01:50:10,040 --> 01:50:13,160
Speaker 5: He's like, let's have these conversations. And I see in

2547
01:50:13,200 --> 01:50:16,360
Speaker 5: you how you were prepared to have these conversations, which

2548
01:50:16,400 --> 01:50:18,880
Speaker 5: is another confirmation that God sent him to me. So

2549
01:50:18,920 --> 01:50:20,200
Speaker 5: I know this is about you guys, but I just

2550
01:50:20,240 --> 01:50:23,559
Speaker 5: want to brag on my husband that thing in me

2551
01:50:23,760 --> 01:50:25,920
Speaker 5: and then saying like we're going to do this because

2552
01:50:25,920 --> 01:50:27,439
Speaker 5: I already see what God put in you.

2553
01:50:27,520 --> 01:50:29,800
Speaker 3: But it took him specifically to see it. Yeah, you

2554
01:50:29,800 --> 01:50:30,320
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying.

2555
01:50:30,320 --> 01:50:32,160
Speaker 2: And that's the thing I think that's how I always

2556
01:50:32,240 --> 01:50:36,000
Speaker 2: know that's confirmation of alignment, because you might have been

2557
01:50:36,040 --> 01:50:37,639
Speaker 2: with somebody else name I thought you were wonderful.

2558
01:50:37,680 --> 01:50:40,040
Speaker 3: But yeah, I'm speaking to that specific thing.

2559
01:50:40,400 --> 01:50:41,960
Speaker 4: And I asked her, I said, what is a dream

2560
01:50:42,000 --> 01:50:44,160
Speaker 4: that you had that that you put on the shelf

2561
01:50:44,200 --> 01:50:47,120
Speaker 4: that can be taken off and dusted off. She said, well,

2562
01:50:47,560 --> 01:50:49,240
Speaker 4: I had this, And that's when she started talking about

2563
01:50:49,240 --> 01:50:51,479
Speaker 4: the belief gap And I said, do you want to

2564
01:50:51,520 --> 01:50:54,360
Speaker 4: do that again? Wow? I don't know. No, you said

2565
01:50:54,360 --> 01:50:56,280
Speaker 4: you want to do this before. Yeah, Now I have

2566
01:50:56,360 --> 01:50:59,519
Speaker 4: the platform that when God brings that around again, you

2567
01:50:59,560 --> 01:51:02,320
Speaker 4: can do it. And now you have access to hundreds

2568
01:51:02,360 --> 01:51:06,519
Speaker 4: of thousand of people. She's like, oh, I said, it's

2569
01:51:06,560 --> 01:51:09,720
Speaker 4: not time right now, but when it becomes time, it's time.

2570
01:51:10,240 --> 01:51:12,720
Speaker 4: And I said, just know that God gave you that

2571
01:51:12,880 --> 01:51:14,000
Speaker 4: seed back then.

2572
01:51:14,680 --> 01:51:15,240
Speaker 1: For now.

2573
01:51:15,320 --> 01:51:17,639
Speaker 4: That's why I wanted to say when it happened, because

2574
01:51:17,680 --> 01:51:20,040
Speaker 4: that was probably seven eight years ago, you know what

2575
01:51:20,080 --> 01:51:22,840
Speaker 4: I'm saying. And to know that that happened back then,

2576
01:51:23,200 --> 01:51:25,080
Speaker 4: and then when people see it, it's not going to

2577
01:51:25,160 --> 01:51:27,679
Speaker 4: be like she just popped out. Now she started trying

2578
01:51:27,680 --> 01:51:30,720
Speaker 4: to do this or whatever, like that thing nine years

2579
01:51:30,760 --> 01:51:33,720
Speaker 4: ago and God just began to mature that thing.

2580
01:51:33,880 --> 01:51:35,840
Speaker 2: But even if it did pop out, which it didn't,

2581
01:51:35,880 --> 01:51:37,640
Speaker 2: because I think to the point that you're saying, and

2582
01:51:38,000 --> 01:51:41,240
Speaker 2: my mentor says as well, she says, God says, if

2583
01:51:41,280 --> 01:51:42,800
Speaker 2: you want to know what I use you for, look

2584
01:51:42,800 --> 01:51:44,760
Speaker 2: at what you're useful for. This is something she's been

2585
01:51:44,800 --> 01:51:47,400
Speaker 2: doing right. But I think even in that, even if

2586
01:51:47,439 --> 01:51:49,599
Speaker 2: it did just pop out, it's your job, I think

2587
01:51:49,640 --> 01:51:51,599
Speaker 2: as a spouse to cultivate.

2588
01:51:51,080 --> 01:51:53,000
Speaker 3: That in her. And now I feel like Kevin has

2589
01:51:53,040 --> 01:51:54,920
Speaker 3: done such a great job. It's like it was in me.

2590
01:51:55,080 --> 01:51:57,639
Speaker 2: But sometimes you just need to put the right people

2591
01:51:57,680 --> 01:52:00,800
Speaker 2: to bring it out, to help shape it, to refine it,

2592
01:52:00,840 --> 01:52:03,200
Speaker 2: to encourage you in it, to grow you in it.

2593
01:52:03,479 --> 01:52:06,799
Speaker 3: So it's like that's what you're doing, You're cultivating in Yeah.

2594
01:52:07,080 --> 01:52:09,479
Speaker 5: And be told, God told me, he said, it's not

2595
01:52:09,600 --> 01:52:12,080
Speaker 5: the season for you to talk about how you closed

2596
01:52:12,120 --> 01:52:15,200
Speaker 5: your own belief gap, because you're still doing that in

2597
01:52:15,320 --> 01:52:19,439
Speaker 5: career and love. But when I'm ready, come on, I

2598
01:52:19,600 --> 01:52:22,680
Speaker 5: will put you in the position to be able to

2599
01:52:22,680 --> 01:52:25,320
Speaker 5: have these conversations so that people look at you as

2600
01:52:25,360 --> 01:52:26,280
Speaker 5: a testimony to.

2601
01:52:26,240 --> 01:52:28,760
Speaker 6: See, oh wait, you had to believe.

2602
01:52:28,479 --> 01:52:30,840
Speaker 5: For these things and I was able to get you

2603
01:52:30,880 --> 01:52:32,680
Speaker 5: from where you were to where you wanted to be.

2604
01:52:33,120 --> 01:52:34,800
Speaker 5: So your set your spot.

2605
01:52:34,520 --> 01:52:36,960
Speaker 4: On since I love it. Listen, we're at the part

2606
01:52:37,040 --> 01:52:40,080
Speaker 4: now where you grab that box. All right, o, Kevin

2607
01:52:40,080 --> 01:52:42,479
Speaker 4: grabbed that box. It's going to be two pieces of

2608
01:52:42,479 --> 01:52:45,160
Speaker 4: paper in there and a pen. Y'all use the box

2609
01:52:45,200 --> 01:52:47,280
Speaker 4: to write on. And I want y'all to write a

2610
01:52:47,360 --> 01:52:50,760
Speaker 4: key to love. Yes, it can be a word, it

2611
01:52:50,840 --> 01:52:53,160
Speaker 4: can be a phrase. But what would you like to

2612
01:52:53,320 --> 01:52:57,360
Speaker 4: leave with the listeners and viewers of Dear Future WiFi

2613
01:52:57,479 --> 01:52:59,040
Speaker 4: podcasts as a key to love?

2614
01:53:00,520 --> 01:53:01,599
Speaker 5: I love your chamber.

2615
01:53:02,000 --> 01:53:06,400
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, so rang gonna ring this this this, this

2616
01:53:06,520 --> 01:53:10,479
Speaker 4: necklace is uh you got you got one too. So

2617
01:53:10,479 --> 01:53:13,840
Speaker 4: this is the necklace. This necklace right here has the

2618
01:53:13,920 --> 01:53:18,240
Speaker 4: coordinates of where we got married at Cali Worship And

2619
01:53:18,320 --> 01:53:21,120
Speaker 4: so these are the coordinates right here on these necklaces

2620
01:53:21,600 --> 01:53:25,479
Speaker 4: and her necklace as well. And so this is my husband.

2621
01:53:25,880 --> 01:53:32,080
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, she had the picture all our wedding pictures. Yeah,

2622
01:53:32,120 --> 01:53:34,240
Speaker 4: so what you think about this, Ashley? What do you

2623
01:53:34,320 --> 01:53:35,360
Speaker 4: think about this episode?

2624
01:53:35,560 --> 01:53:39,240
Speaker 5: I thought this episode was great. I learned so much

2625
01:53:39,280 --> 01:53:43,400
Speaker 5: about them, and I love the redemption nature of the

2626
01:53:43,439 --> 01:53:47,440
Speaker 5: story and just how God redeemed the time.

2627
01:53:47,520 --> 01:53:51,080
Speaker 4: Redeemed the time. I love the fact that when he

2628
01:53:51,120 --> 01:53:54,760
Speaker 4: came back around, he came back around with a high

2629
01:53:54,880 --> 01:53:57,639
Speaker 4: level of intentionality. We always say if a man wants

2630
01:53:57,680 --> 01:54:01,120
Speaker 4: to he would ye, and that's what he did. And

2631
01:54:01,160 --> 01:54:03,720
Speaker 4: so he was just like, hey, listen, I already know

2632
01:54:03,800 --> 01:54:07,639
Speaker 4: what fell apart the first time. And we don't hear

2633
01:54:07,960 --> 01:54:13,880
Speaker 4: enough about men submitting to wise counsel because a lot

2634
01:54:13,920 --> 01:54:16,000
Speaker 4: of times people feel like a lot of men feel

2635
01:54:16,000 --> 01:54:18,479
Speaker 4: like they're supposed to already know it. And sometimes women

2636
01:54:18,680 --> 01:54:20,200
Speaker 4: meet men and be like, well you shoul already know

2637
01:54:20,240 --> 01:54:22,120
Speaker 4: this by now. It'd be like, well, I ain't never

2638
01:54:22,240 --> 01:54:24,800
Speaker 4: did this before. Like if I go on a job

2639
01:54:24,960 --> 01:54:28,120
Speaker 4: right now, they're going to put me with somebody else

2640
01:54:28,160 --> 01:54:31,040
Speaker 4: that I shadow throughout the day so I can learn

2641
01:54:31,120 --> 01:54:33,600
Speaker 4: the job, learn what they're doing or whatnot. But we

2642
01:54:33,680 --> 01:54:37,960
Speaker 4: don't think that that's necessary for a preparation for marriage.

2643
01:54:38,200 --> 01:54:41,000
Speaker 4: And so I was glad that he said I got

2644
01:54:41,000 --> 01:54:44,160
Speaker 4: with a mentor and said prepare me, you know, let

2645
01:54:44,200 --> 01:54:47,640
Speaker 4: me shadow, you teach me what I don't know. And

2646
01:54:47,760 --> 01:54:52,320
Speaker 4: that's wisdom. So a man cannot lead if he's not

2647
01:54:52,360 --> 01:54:55,360
Speaker 4: willing to follow. And so that's so powerful that he

2648
01:54:55,440 --> 01:54:57,560
Speaker 4: was willing to say, just teach me. And when he

2649
01:54:57,600 --> 01:55:02,120
Speaker 4: showed up, he was not intimidated by her current circumstance.

2650
01:55:02,880 --> 01:55:06,520
Speaker 4: He was like, all right, that's cool anyway, I'm going

2651
01:55:06,560 --> 01:55:08,520
Speaker 4: to be married to you, so just just know what

2652
01:55:08,560 --> 01:55:10,560
Speaker 4: you know what it is. And it's funny when you

2653
01:55:10,600 --> 01:55:14,680
Speaker 4: look at the comedy of God, because he was the

2654
01:55:14,760 --> 01:55:16,920
Speaker 4: last time they met each other went on a date,

2655
01:55:17,400 --> 01:55:20,560
Speaker 4: he said, don't even mention Marriat and then the first

2656
01:55:20,680 --> 01:55:23,440
Speaker 4: and then you come back around. He come back around

2657
01:55:23,440 --> 01:55:24,600
Speaker 4: talking about you know, my wife.

2658
01:55:26,320 --> 01:55:31,040
Speaker 5: I don't know if you understand ye receive it.

2659
01:55:31,240 --> 01:55:33,440
Speaker 4: You're pulling back and phone close back to you. And

2660
01:55:33,480 --> 01:55:36,120
Speaker 4: then Kevin start off, tell us what the key of

2661
01:55:36,200 --> 01:55:37,880
Speaker 4: love for me?

2662
01:55:38,000 --> 01:55:41,480
Speaker 1: The key is to use God as the source and

2663
01:55:41,520 --> 01:55:45,400
Speaker 1: to be intentional for me. The only reason why this

2664
01:55:45,480 --> 01:55:48,120
Speaker 1: works is because God is the filter of our relationship.

2665
01:55:48,920 --> 01:55:52,520
Speaker 1: So however, we don't do it perfectly, but we try

2666
01:55:52,520 --> 01:55:54,960
Speaker 1: to remain that way in our marriage, trying to keep

2667
01:55:55,000 --> 01:55:58,440
Speaker 1: God first. How we respond to each other. It's trying

2668
01:55:58,440 --> 01:56:01,200
Speaker 1: to be godly and try to share with our friends

2669
01:56:01,200 --> 01:56:03,960
Speaker 1: and our family, like always make sure that if God

2670
01:56:04,040 --> 01:56:07,640
Speaker 1: is the gift that was given or he's a gift giver. Yeah,

2671
01:56:07,680 --> 01:56:09,560
Speaker 1: and that's the gift that I got. Always go back

2672
01:56:09,560 --> 01:56:12,080
Speaker 1: to the source of that gift and be intentional.

2673
01:56:12,600 --> 01:56:15,600
Speaker 4: Man's good would you say, Brittany?

2674
01:56:15,920 --> 01:56:18,320
Speaker 2: I said, ask God to help you hear what your

2675
01:56:18,360 --> 01:56:22,800
Speaker 2: spouse doesn't say. I think men, I think men don't

2676
01:56:22,880 --> 01:56:25,680
Speaker 2: are generally not talkers. But I know my husband, as

2677
01:56:25,720 --> 01:56:29,720
Speaker 2: I've stated, is super private. You know, he's reserved, and

2678
01:56:29,800 --> 01:56:33,640
Speaker 2: he does talk to me, but I think in some

2679
01:56:33,840 --> 01:56:35,840
Speaker 2: spaces where he wants to protect me, he may not

2680
01:56:35,960 --> 01:56:39,440
Speaker 2: always share, you know, his heart, And I always want him.

2681
01:56:39,520 --> 01:56:41,400
Speaker 2: I always want our marriagehould be a safe space for

2682
01:56:41,480 --> 01:56:44,440
Speaker 2: him to bring things to so and then the space

2683
01:56:44,480 --> 01:56:47,680
Speaker 2: is where he doesn't mention it, it's still I want

2684
01:56:47,720 --> 01:56:49,840
Speaker 2: to know, you know, so that I can either pray

2685
01:56:49,880 --> 01:56:52,080
Speaker 2: about that or help him carry that or help.

2686
01:56:51,920 --> 01:56:52,760
Speaker 3: Him navigate it.

2687
01:56:52,840 --> 01:56:56,720
Speaker 2: So for me, it's just like always wanting to ask

2688
01:56:56,760 --> 01:56:58,360
Speaker 2: God to help me hear what they're not saying.

2689
01:56:58,400 --> 01:57:00,600
Speaker 3: What's really happening here? Where is their heart?

2690
01:57:01,080 --> 01:57:05,000
Speaker 4: It's a lot of women over eighty six percent, it's

2691
01:57:05,040 --> 01:57:08,000
Speaker 4: eighty six percent of women that watch their Future Wifey podcast.

2692
01:57:09,000 --> 01:57:12,200
Speaker 4: My question to you so that women can understand what

2693
01:57:12,240 --> 01:57:17,520
Speaker 4: she's speaking about from a man's perspective, Answer that, what

2694
01:57:17,560 --> 01:57:20,800
Speaker 4: does she mean by that? Her response, Yeah, when you

2695
01:57:20,800 --> 01:57:24,480
Speaker 4: say that, she feels like you kind of carry a

2696
01:57:24,520 --> 01:57:28,560
Speaker 4: lot of stuff and don't communicate the stuff that you're carrying.

2697
01:57:29,080 --> 01:57:31,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's natural as a man to feel

2698
01:57:31,720 --> 01:57:35,280
Speaker 1: like they're carrying a lot and don't want to be

2699
01:57:35,440 --> 01:57:37,840
Speaker 1: vulnerable in front of their women, to feel like they

2700
01:57:37,960 --> 01:57:41,600
Speaker 1: can't handle it, and it may seem like a sign

2701
01:57:41,680 --> 01:57:44,320
Speaker 1: of weakness, but it's not. It's the exact opposite.

2702
01:57:44,400 --> 01:57:44,560
Speaker 4: Yep.

2703
01:57:44,800 --> 01:57:47,760
Speaker 1: When you've got that helpmate and God's given them to you,

2704
01:57:48,080 --> 01:57:50,760
Speaker 1: that is your helpmate, that is your sounding board. They're

2705
01:57:50,800 --> 01:57:54,440
Speaker 1: supposed to be building you up. And I can't be

2706
01:57:54,560 --> 01:57:57,200
Speaker 1: my best without her. And she doesn't know how to

2707
01:57:57,280 --> 01:57:59,120
Speaker 1: pray for me if I don't tell her what's going on,

2708
01:57:59,520 --> 01:58:02,160
Speaker 1: so then and truly, there could be things that she's

2709
01:58:02,160 --> 01:58:04,320
Speaker 1: dealing with that I'm dealing with in her spirit. She

2710
01:58:04,360 --> 01:58:06,880
Speaker 1: may know it. I've never said it, but if I

2711
01:58:06,960 --> 01:58:09,280
Speaker 1: communicate better, like, hey, babe, this is what's going on

2712
01:58:09,360 --> 01:58:13,000
Speaker 1: with me vulnerable before her, it draws us closer. And

2713
01:58:13,400 --> 01:58:16,280
Speaker 1: for her, she's a words of affirmation person, and so

2714
01:58:16,440 --> 01:58:19,600
Speaker 1: that's how we gain intimacy by talking, and I'm not

2715
01:58:19,720 --> 01:58:22,480
Speaker 1: that person. So really, in order for me be my

2716
01:58:22,560 --> 01:58:25,400
Speaker 1: best husband, I got to become more holy because I

2717
01:58:25,440 --> 01:58:26,960
Speaker 1: have to use God to say, Okay, God, this is

2718
01:58:27,000 --> 01:58:28,760
Speaker 1: not what you do. When I come home, I want

2719
01:58:28,760 --> 01:58:30,680
Speaker 1: to sit there and not say nothing. But I'm like,

2720
01:58:30,800 --> 01:58:32,560
Speaker 1: know what, my wife, I haven't seen her all day.

2721
01:58:32,720 --> 01:58:35,120
Speaker 1: She wants to connect. Let's talk. Let's have a conversation.

2722
01:58:35,160 --> 01:58:38,240
Speaker 1: How is your day. I'll be like, it's good, but

2723
01:58:38,280 --> 01:58:40,000
Speaker 1: she needs more than that. She's like, man, guess what

2724
01:58:40,040 --> 01:58:42,840
Speaker 1: happened to me? The whole story? Every detail. I'm like, hey, something,

2725
01:58:42,880 --> 01:58:44,920
Speaker 1: have my mom? It was crazy, that's all I got.

2726
01:58:46,200 --> 01:58:48,320
Speaker 1: It was crazy, that's it. But that's how we connect.

2727
01:58:48,360 --> 01:58:50,640
Speaker 1: But I'm saying for her. She knows that if I

2728
01:58:50,680 --> 01:58:52,320
Speaker 1: don't say it, she does know how to pray for me.

2729
01:58:52,520 --> 01:58:54,120
Speaker 1: If I don't say it, she doesn't know we don't

2730
01:58:54,120 --> 01:58:56,000
Speaker 1: grow closer in our process.

2731
01:58:56,200 --> 01:58:58,960
Speaker 2: And I think grown as a wife is saying, look,

2732
01:58:59,000 --> 01:59:02,960
Speaker 2: God'm for whatever he's not shared, like you know, I'm

2733
01:59:03,000 --> 01:59:03,720
Speaker 2: bringing it to you.

2734
01:59:04,560 --> 01:59:07,200
Speaker 4: Listen, man, this was so amazing. How can we support you?

2735
01:59:07,200 --> 01:59:09,520
Speaker 4: What are your social media handles? We know you ain't

2736
01:59:09,560 --> 01:59:12,600
Speaker 4: got so out.

2737
01:59:12,480 --> 01:59:12,720
Speaker 5: Of the way.

2738
01:59:12,840 --> 01:59:16,840
Speaker 2: So my social media handle is my name, missus Brittany McIntire.

2739
01:59:16,880 --> 01:59:19,200
Speaker 2: Brittany is b r I T t a n y

2740
01:59:19,720 --> 01:59:23,720
Speaker 2: McIntyre is spelled m c I n t y r E.

2741
01:59:24,120 --> 01:59:25,240
Speaker 4: And how can we support you?

2742
01:59:27,040 --> 01:59:27,480
Speaker 1: I don't know.

2743
01:59:27,640 --> 01:59:31,120
Speaker 2: I love to hear from like the women. I am

2744
01:59:31,240 --> 01:59:34,080
Speaker 2: very much a girl's girls, So I would love to

2745
01:59:34,080 --> 01:59:39,440
Speaker 2: connect with you all on socials. I don't know.

2746
01:59:40,160 --> 01:59:43,680
Speaker 4: So yeah, so d m her let her know connect

2747
01:59:43,760 --> 01:59:48,080
Speaker 4: with her. And Kevin still don't have a social media page,

2748
01:59:48,480 --> 01:59:52,000
Speaker 4: and you'll be seeing glimpses of him. I guess as

2749
01:59:52,000 --> 01:59:57,880
Speaker 4: she posts. I love it. I love Let me tell y'all,

2750
01:59:57,880 --> 02:00:01,160
Speaker 4: thank y'all so much for showing up transparent and vulnerable.

2751
02:00:01,560 --> 02:00:04,160
Speaker 4: Thank y'all for talking about the messy part in the

2752
02:00:04,240 --> 02:00:08,280
Speaker 4: relationship and how God took your mess and created this

2753
02:00:08,400 --> 02:00:13,000
Speaker 4: powerful message. And so y'all are the epitome of what

2754
02:00:13,040 --> 02:00:15,960
Speaker 4: it looks like to be totally surrendered to God. And

2755
02:00:16,040 --> 02:00:19,120
Speaker 4: so and I love the language in which y'all speak

2756
02:00:19,160 --> 02:00:20,680
Speaker 4: about just I had to talk to God. I had

2757
02:00:20,680 --> 02:00:22,080
Speaker 4: to talk to God. I talked to my mama, I

2758
02:00:22,080 --> 02:00:24,120
Speaker 4: talked to my daddy, I talked It's like, when I'm

2759
02:00:24,160 --> 02:00:27,800
Speaker 4: hearing y'all speak, it's all about y'all's family and talking

2760
02:00:27,880 --> 02:00:31,680
Speaker 4: and getting wise counsel from here, here and there, and

2761
02:00:31,960 --> 02:00:36,480
Speaker 4: that's what the whole foundation. And so that's beautiful. I

2762
02:00:36,560 --> 02:00:40,400
Speaker 4: recommend that people don't be a long ranger in this

2763
02:00:40,440 --> 02:00:44,240
Speaker 4: thing called love. Find people and find wisdom. Kevin says

2764
02:00:44,280 --> 02:00:47,240
Speaker 4: something so powerful. He said, I had to use wisdom

2765
02:00:47,360 --> 02:00:50,440
Speaker 4: and who I told, because you can tell the wrong

2766
02:00:50,560 --> 02:00:54,760
Speaker 4: people and they can advise you incorrectly and be like,

2767
02:00:55,240 --> 02:00:57,760
Speaker 4: leave alone. Y'all need to be there forget her. And

2768
02:00:57,760 --> 02:01:01,120
Speaker 4: then you're like, but I thank God to me. I

2769
02:01:01,320 --> 02:01:03,520
Speaker 4: kind of felt like, but dang, did God say this?

2770
02:01:03,680 --> 02:01:05,880
Speaker 4: Did God say that? And then now you don't watch

2771
02:01:05,920 --> 02:01:08,480
Speaker 4: her go get married to somebody else? And then and

2772
02:01:08,520 --> 02:01:10,520
Speaker 4: then one day, y'all, and then she comes to dear

2773
02:01:10,560 --> 02:01:14,160
Speaker 4: future wife and then with her other husband. Mean yeah,

2774
02:01:14,520 --> 02:01:15,960
Speaker 4: and then she says, it was this guy. If he

2775
02:01:16,120 --> 02:01:18,640
Speaker 4: just had called me and told me this, I felt

2776
02:01:18,640 --> 02:01:19,880
Speaker 4: like he was the one. But I guess God that

2777
02:01:19,960 --> 02:01:22,080
Speaker 4: he was, like I knew I was supposed to call up.

2778
02:01:22,120 --> 02:01:24,320
Speaker 4: Now he's lived in regret doesn't make sense. So I

2779
02:01:24,360 --> 02:01:27,760
Speaker 4: love that. Y'all were totally surrendered to God. May the

2780
02:01:27,840 --> 02:01:30,560
Speaker 4: love you share today outlived the season you're in.

2781
02:01:31,240 --> 02:01:34,280
Speaker 6: Man, carry you through the days when words are few

2782
02:01:34,560 --> 02:01:35,640
Speaker 6: and faith has.

2783
02:01:35,520 --> 02:01:37,320
Speaker 4: To do the talking. Y'all give it up for the

2784
02:01:37,320 --> 02:01:38,120
Speaker 4: back in tires off.

2785
02:01:38,280 --> 02:01:40,200
Speaker 1: Thank y'all, Thank you so much for having it.

2786
02:01:40,400 --> 02:01:46,280
Speaker 4: Thank you, Ladarian thrust it suddenly into child protective services.

2787
02:01:46,280 --> 02:01:51,680
Speaker 4: In twenty fifteen, my nephew, black a boy. The likelihood

2788
02:01:51,680 --> 02:01:56,240
Speaker 4: have been adopted outside of kinship? Slim to none? Rmione,

2789
02:01:56,760 --> 02:02:00,840
Speaker 4: sixteen years old, black a boy with five years in

2790
02:02:00,880 --> 02:02:03,240
Speaker 4: the Falter care system before I even knew his name.

2791
02:02:04,040 --> 02:02:07,800
Speaker 4: The likelihood have ever been adopted? Yep, you guessed it.

2792
02:02:08,400 --> 02:02:12,920
Speaker 4: Slim to none. While Laderian and our MONI were trying

2793
02:02:12,920 --> 02:02:16,360
Speaker 4: to survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded

2794
02:02:16,360 --> 02:02:19,000
Speaker 4: Falseter care system, I was living my own life, doing

2795
02:02:19,000 --> 02:02:22,240
Speaker 4: well professionally, having been a single father with a daughter

2796
02:02:22,280 --> 02:02:24,840
Speaker 4: who at that point was doing well in college. It

2797
02:02:24,880 --> 02:02:28,920
Speaker 4: was my time to live my life right wrong. I

2798
02:02:28,960 --> 02:02:34,920
Speaker 4: felt unsettled, tireless, agitated. There are just too many of

2799
02:02:34,960 --> 02:02:38,680
Speaker 4: our black children stuck in ambiguity and in the limbo

2800
02:02:38,800 --> 02:02:42,160
Speaker 4: of the Falter care system. In twenty seventeen, I legally

2801
02:02:42,200 --> 02:02:45,840
Speaker 4: adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast forward to twenty nineteen. I

2802
02:02:45,880 --> 02:02:48,080
Speaker 4: had no ties to this other young king, but I

2803
02:02:48,120 --> 02:02:51,680
Speaker 4: felt God instructed me to adopt him also in an babe.

2804
02:02:52,000 --> 02:02:55,080
Speaker 4: Starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right, Working

2805
02:02:55,080 --> 02:02:57,760
Speaker 4: with various foster care and adoption agencies to help bring

2806
02:02:57,800 --> 02:03:01,040
Speaker 4: awareness to the countless young Black Kings and the Falster

2807
02:03:01,080 --> 02:03:05,280
Speaker 4: care system should have decreased My agitation. Right join the

2808
02:03:05,280 --> 02:03:08,320
Speaker 4: board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and organization that

2809
02:03:08,400 --> 02:03:11,720
Speaker 4: helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in false care

2810
02:03:11,880 --> 02:03:15,800
Speaker 4: should have led to some type of resolve. Right. No,

2811
02:03:15,840 --> 02:03:18,760
Speaker 4: not at all. None of it felt like I had

2812
02:03:18,840 --> 02:03:23,400
Speaker 4: done enough. I now realized that every one of those

2813
02:03:23,480 --> 02:03:27,320
Speaker 4: experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

2814
02:03:28,240 --> 02:03:32,320
Speaker 4: Kingdom Royal. Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of

2815
02:03:32,320 --> 02:03:35,720
Speaker 4: the art home for foster boys. Our first location will

2816
02:03:35,760 --> 02:03:38,520
Speaker 4: be in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. We will utilize

2817
02:03:38,520 --> 02:03:42,440
Speaker 4: the whole person approach that instills identity, empowers them to

2818
02:03:42,480 --> 02:03:46,520
Speaker 4: advocate for themselves, and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and

2819
02:03:46,680 --> 02:03:51,880
Speaker 4: limitless options that they thought were impossible. Though, the young

2820
02:03:51,960 --> 02:03:54,200
Speaker 4: Kings will attend the local public schools that are in

2821
02:03:54,480 --> 02:03:58,480
Speaker 4: proximity to Kingdom Royal. Our at home curriculum will broaden

2822
02:03:58,560 --> 02:04:02,800
Speaker 4: their worldview through participate the arts, attending various cultural events,

2823
02:04:02,960 --> 02:04:07,360
Speaker 4: learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events

2824
02:04:07,440 --> 02:04:12,320
Speaker 4: and even relevant historical contexts, Introducing them to gardening and landscaping,

2825
02:04:12,360 --> 02:04:15,680
Speaker 4: and even caring for our animals on our form and

2826
02:04:15,760 --> 02:04:20,120
Speaker 4: on site stables. We just launched our startup capital campaign

2827
02:04:20,360 --> 02:04:22,520
Speaker 4: with the goal of raising two point eight million dollars.

2828
02:04:22,560 --> 02:04:25,959
Speaker 4: Now why two point eight million dollars? Well. In twenty seventeen,

2829
02:04:26,000 --> 02:04:28,680
Speaker 4: I created a web series in which I performed random

2830
02:04:28,720 --> 02:04:31,840
Speaker 4: acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community. One of

2831
02:04:31,880 --> 02:04:34,440
Speaker 4: the most notable successes was that one of the videos

2832
02:04:34,480 --> 02:04:39,720
Speaker 4: went viral, garnering twenty eight million views. However, one of

2833
02:04:39,800 --> 02:04:42,240
Speaker 4: my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise a single

2834
02:04:42,320 --> 02:04:45,560
Speaker 4: dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable plan for

2835
02:04:45,600 --> 02:04:50,240
Speaker 4: the homeless community. So, throughout the years, with much remorse,

2836
02:04:50,640 --> 02:04:53,520
Speaker 4: I reflect that I'm not maximizing that moment. I knew

2837
02:04:53,720 --> 02:04:56,520
Speaker 4: if at that time just ten percent of the viewers

2838
02:04:56,560 --> 02:04:59,480
Speaker 4: donated one dollar, we would have raised at least two

2839
02:05:00,000 --> 02:05:03,160
Speaker 4: two point eight million dollars that could have really established

2840
02:05:03,160 --> 02:05:05,960
Speaker 4: long term support for the homeless community, or at least

2841
02:05:06,200 --> 02:05:10,440
Speaker 4: started a long term initiative to do so. This is

2842
02:05:10,480 --> 02:05:14,560
Speaker 4: my due over, This is our new beginning. Together, we

2843
02:05:14,600 --> 02:05:18,080
Speaker 4: can attack this at the route by specifically helping our

2844
02:05:18,240 --> 02:05:22,920
Speaker 4: homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented in the

2845
02:05:22,960 --> 02:05:26,640
Speaker 4: American FOSSi care system. I'm the terrysar Wickfield. I've been

2846
02:05:26,840 --> 02:05:29,960
Speaker 4: nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work with the

2847
02:05:30,000 --> 02:05:34,560
Speaker 4: homeless as well as my personal adoption journey. Despite those accolades,

2848
02:05:35,120 --> 02:05:39,400
Speaker 4: the greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure

2849
02:05:39,600 --> 02:05:44,160
Speaker 4: for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot com for more

2850
02:05:44,200 --> 02:05:55,440
Speaker 4: details Crown of King and make a donation today. I

2851
02:05:55,480 --> 02:05:58,520
Speaker 4: hope you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future WIFEI podcast.

2852
02:05:58,600 --> 02:06:04,160
Speaker 4: Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently, and don't stop loving.

2853
02:06:04,600 --> 02:06:06,880
Speaker 4: Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future Wife and

2854
02:06:06,920 --> 02:06:10,760
Speaker 4: YouTube channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify,

2855
02:06:10,800 --> 02:06:14,080
Speaker 4: and Stitcher. We welcome your support. Simply share our podcasts

2856
02:06:14,120 --> 02:06:15,120
Speaker 4: with your friends and family.