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Speaker 1: For better, for worse, richer, and for poor. Have y'all

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Speaker 1: had any sickness and in health situation?

3
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Speaker 2: Yes, I ended up having cardiac issues with heart rhythmia.

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Speaker 3: When you say how scared she was, I turned down

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Speaker 3: working on Black Panther too, because my wife needed me.

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Speaker 2: It's so easy to say that that person is for

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Speaker 2: you when everything is going right, But when stuff get

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Speaker 2: to going wrong. He would just come to me when

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Speaker 2: I would be nervous, and he'd be like, hey, who

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Speaker 2: is your God. I'd be like, you know God, and

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Speaker 2: he'd be like, no, who is your God? And he

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Speaker 2: would allow me to lay my head on his chest

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Speaker 2: so I could hear his heart beat so I could

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Speaker 2: regulate mine. We had made six figures in the fitness business.

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Speaker 2: It was so much on my heart that I just

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Speaker 2: was like, I can't do it anymore. So we decided

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Speaker 2: to switch from fitness to comedy. It just seemed like

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Speaker 2: everything just started changing at that point.

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Speaker 1: The Bible says, laugh to do with the heart good

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Speaker 1: is medicine?

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Speaker 4: Isn't that amazing God and all his omniscience?

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Speaker 1: You're right, Wifey podcasts, my homies Chanelle and Delter Psychs

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Speaker 1: are in the building. He dropped his video two weeks

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Speaker 1: ago where you were in tears when I say, I'm

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Speaker 1: so proud of sharing about how people have been pouring

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Speaker 1: into your wife supporting her.

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Speaker 2: My friend called me and was like, girl about the

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Speaker 2: post of the videos.

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Speaker 4: But he posted it before he let you see it.

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Speaker 5: Yes, I go in look and I'm like, I'm gonna

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Speaker 5: give him some later. You've been married for thirteen years.

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Speaker 5: I just want to hear how this love story came together.

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Speaker 2: It all started with a poem about telibacy and some

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Speaker 2: reason that turned him own. I guess from now. He

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Speaker 2: was just like, I need that old woman.

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Speaker 3: They got her guard up and nobody can't get it.

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Speaker 3: I feel like that's a sign from God right there.

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Speaker 3: Doctor asked me.

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Speaker 6: On today and he can't pick me up.

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Speaker 2: He paid. Then we get in the movie theater and

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Speaker 2: he was like, you want a snack and I was

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Speaker 2: like that stuff too expensive, and he was like, you're

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Speaker 2: gonna be my wife.

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Speaker 6: Onnemployment too, I got two hundred fifty dollars that week.

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna say that on the data.

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Speaker 1: So most people have said that you don't have no

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Speaker 1: business dating you on unemployment, Chanelle, did you agree with

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Speaker 1: that ideology in the past. What started as a search

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Speaker 1: for understanding became a journey of transformation. Every letter that

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Speaker 1: I wrote led me to this day, the day I

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Speaker 1: got married November twenty second, twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 6: Dear my forever, Forever is.

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Speaker 7: A long time. That's how long I'll love you. Those

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Speaker 7: lyrics echo through every fiber of my soul at the

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Speaker 7: very thought of you.

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Speaker 1: This journey has culminated with you as both the award

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Speaker 1: and the reward of my pursuit of love. You are

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Speaker 1: the award, the honor God placed before me, the recognition

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Speaker 1: of growth, healing, and becoming the man I needed to be.

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Speaker 7: And you are the reward, the blessing given after endurance,

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Speaker 7: the gift promised to those who refuse to faint.

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Speaker 4: This isn't just ours, this is for all of us.

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Speaker 4: I'm a Terrasaar Whitfield.

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Speaker 7: I'm Ashley are Whitfield.

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Speaker 8: Welcome to the Future Podcast.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Dear Future Wifey Podcast. I'm your host of

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Speaker 1: Terasar Whitfield and.

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Speaker 8: I'm Ashley are Wickfield.

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Speaker 4: Listen, are you still shacking up with us?

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Speaker 1: If you're still shacking up with us, can we get

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Speaker 1: a commitment hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure

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Speaker 1: you turn on your notification bell so you'll be notified

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Speaker 1: about upcoming episodes.

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Speaker 4: Listen, Student of Love is in full swing. Y'all have

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Speaker 4: been buying the book.

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Speaker 1: I want everybody that's watching this episode right now to

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Speaker 1: head over to the place that you purchase your books

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Speaker 1: or even audio books and purchase Student of Love right now.

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Speaker 1: Purchase it right now. I'm telling you, it will change

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Speaker 1: your life. I've been getting so many testimonies about people

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Speaker 1: who are reading the book and have said that it's

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Speaker 1: teaching them to unlearn some unhealthy habits that they picked

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Speaker 1: up along the way in their dating journey. As a

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Speaker 1: matter of fact, wat's his promo right now. I have

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Speaker 1: a confession.

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Speaker 4: I really.

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Speaker 1: I hate is a strong word, but I really dislike

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Speaker 1: recording videos trying to encourage people to purchase my new book,

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Speaker 1: Student of Love.

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Speaker 4: I really do.

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Speaker 1: Y'all see me on my podcast all the time encouraging

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Speaker 1: y'all to support other authors. But when it comes to me, man,

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Speaker 1: I just don't like it. I'm gonna be honest with you,

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Speaker 1: and I know a lot of y'all could attest to it.

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Speaker 1: Trying to be selsy and convince people to purchase your product.

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Speaker 4: It's just so uncomfortable. Good lord.

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Speaker 1: I had a conversation with my editor, Lisa Joe, and

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Speaker 1: she was trying to encourage me to post more videos

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Speaker 1: and I said, Lisa Joe, I'm tired of posting videos.

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Speaker 1: And I said, it just feels like I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: sell people. And she said, that's the problem. Don't try

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Speaker 1: to sell them, serve them. She said, w publishing, we

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Speaker 1: don't focus on sales. We focus on service. She said,

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Speaker 1: remember you told me at the beginning of this journey

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Speaker 1: that your mission is to increase marriage rates in the

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Speaker 1: black community, decrease divorced statistics, and provide a guide to

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Speaker 1: help them do relationships a lot better.

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Speaker 4: I said, all right.

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Speaker 1: She over here regurgitating what I said to her back

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Speaker 1: to me. I said, how this white lady from South

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Speaker 1: Africa going to put me in check?

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Speaker 4: And I said, you know what.

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Speaker 1: I can do that if I can refocus and not

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Speaker 1: try to sell and serve, then I'll I won't stop

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Speaker 1: creating videos, I won't stop creating graphics and stories and

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Speaker 1: reals to try to encourage us, encourage us to do

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Speaker 1: relationships a lot better. So I'm not going to sell

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Speaker 1: you on purchasing Student of Love, Nope. But what I

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Speaker 1: will do is ask you, as matter of fact, I

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Speaker 1: will beg you to join me on the journey to

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Speaker 1: increase marriage raising the Black community, decrease divorced statistics, and

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Speaker 1: just maybe maybe this tool can help us do relationships

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Speaker 1: a whole lot better. So that's all I got.

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Speaker 4: Are you gonna join me?

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Speaker 1: As y'all always hear me say, love isn't about finding

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Speaker 1: the right person, It's about becoming the right person. So

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Speaker 1: be the person that you desire to marry one day. Man,

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Speaker 1: today's episode, it's gonna be fun. I had this dynamic

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Speaker 1: couple on the podcast.

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Speaker 4: Was that a year ago too? Two years ago? Two

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Speaker 4: years ago?

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Speaker 1: I had him on the podcast, and we get a

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Speaker 1: chance to talk to him again, catch up with him,

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Speaker 1: and have my lovely wife Ashley join in on the conversation. So,

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Speaker 1: without further ado, welcome to Dear Future WIFEI Podcasts and

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Speaker 1: my homies Chanelle and Delter Psychs are.

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Speaker 4: In the building. What's going on?

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Speaker 1: Nothing much, So listen. It's a video that Dolta dropped

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Speaker 1: at the time of this episode. It'll be two weeks

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Speaker 1: he dropped his video two weeks ago where you were

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Speaker 1: in tears sharing about how you are moved by how

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Speaker 1: people have been pouring into your wife supporting her perfume brand.

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Speaker 4: What made you side to post that video.

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Speaker 3: I definitely always wanted to give my wife the flowers

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Speaker 3: that she deserved, but also able to watch where she

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Speaker 3: started from and trying to find earn her way into

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Speaker 3: this world by being the good person that she is

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Speaker 3: without the negative influence and like, you know, I gotta

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Speaker 3: have this ecstatic life, or I got to have my

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Speaker 3: hair a certain way and look like this and stuff

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Speaker 3: like that. So when she wasn't you know, getting the

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Speaker 3: opportunity and the thing that she wanted and they wanted

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Speaker 3: to change her. And the fact that she said true

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Speaker 3: all the years and just seeing her grow at that

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Speaker 3: time and staying true.

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Speaker 4: Why growth?

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Speaker 6: It's just a beautiful thing to see, you know, and

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Speaker 6: a lot of people don't know she's been through a lot.

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Speaker 6: She was crying to me, you know, why why this?

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Speaker 6: And why that?

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Speaker 3: But you know, as we pray and keeping God, you know,

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Speaker 3: in lines of your journey with her and now watching

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Speaker 3: everybody loving her just to be her, it's amazing thing.

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Speaker 4: So Sanel, how did that feel? Did you know he's

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Speaker 4: gonna record that video?

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Speaker 2: I knew that he was going to do something nice.

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Speaker 2: I just didn't know exactly what it was. He was like,

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Speaker 2: I got a video coming for you, and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you know, wait, what is it?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 2: I have the brace myself. But when he posted it,

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Speaker 2: my friend called me, was like, girl, about the post

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Speaker 2: of the video?

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Speaker 4: He posted it before he let you see it?

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Speaker 2: Yes, and I was like, oh he did, let me

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Speaker 2: go see and I go and look, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna give him some later.

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Speaker 4: Did you say that in the video? Did you record

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Speaker 4: a video?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: If you If you don't notice, that's my favorite thing

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Speaker 2: to do with.

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Speaker 4: If you don't know this, but.

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Speaker 2: To mount him. My mom is going to see this,

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Speaker 2: and my mom, I'm so sorry. You right, you're right right,

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Speaker 2: five kids.

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Speaker 4: In man, so listen.

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Speaker 1: So y'all, So you posted that video, and don't think

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Speaker 1: we talked about this the last time you were on

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Speaker 1: the podcast. You know, men aren't taught to be that vulnerable,

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Speaker 1: be that transparent, certainly not be crying on this world

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Speaker 1: wide web. And in the episode that you were on previously,

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Speaker 1: you broke down in tears when you look back at

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Speaker 1: that moment and you saw how open you were in

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Speaker 1: that vulnerable moment because at that time you hadn't recorded

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Speaker 1: a video crying online or anything like that.

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Speaker 4: What did you think when you looked at that in retrospect?

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Speaker 4: Can we keep it real? No one taught us about love.

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Speaker 1: We picked a bad habits expectations and trauma and just

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Speaker 1: hope for the best. I'm gonna tear us off with Phil,

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Speaker 1: and I'm inviting you February the thirteenth to an evening

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Speaker 1: of Dear Future Wife who presents Student of Love. You're

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Speaker 1: going to be a part of a live recording of

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Speaker 1: the Dear Future WIFEI podcast co hosted by me and

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Speaker 1: my lovely wife Ashley with Phil. This is the first

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Speaker 1: time we're going to be doing a Dear Future Wife

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Speaker 1: podcast live together right here in Grand Prairie, Texas. We

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Speaker 1: want you to dress your decade of the year you

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Speaker 1: graduated high school.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you remember that.

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Speaker 1: Probably the time you experienced your first heartbreak. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: go back and heal that wounded child. We're gonna laugh,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna have fun, we're gonna reminisce, and we're going

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Speaker 1: to heal together. So come out February thirteenth at the

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Speaker 1: Uptown Theater so that we can heal together, laugh together,

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Speaker 1: learn together. Now listen, this is an intimate space and

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Speaker 1: it will sell out fast. So go to gpblack Experience

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Speaker 1: dot com and get your tickets today. Or were you

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Speaker 1: one of those students that turned in your class work

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Speaker 1: late every day? You don't want to get your tickets late?

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Speaker 1: Get it right now there's a change. Uh huh remember

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Speaker 1: New Year?

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Speaker 4: Knew you? Come on, let's do that this time.

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Speaker 6: I feel of release.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 3: One thing about me is like I found myself, like

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Speaker 3: my emotions be bottled up and but for so long,

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Speaker 3: then when it comes out, it just comes out and

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Speaker 3: I can't. I'm not gonna apologize for it because it's

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Speaker 3: just me, right. And also it was a great turning

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Speaker 3: point because I got a lot of inbox from men

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Speaker 3: and a lot of text messages, you know, like how

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Speaker 3: like I resonated with other men and it was a

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Speaker 3: I mean, it was a great feeling, you know, to

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Speaker 3: know that, to know that I'm not the only one,

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Speaker 3: and now they know they're not the only one.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, yeah, it's us and now comforting you

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Speaker 1: in that moment and you were like, I'm so proud

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Speaker 1: of you you started edifying and why was what made

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Speaker 1: you choose those words to say you were proud of

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Speaker 1: him for actually literally opening up and showing his emotions

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Speaker 1: publicly in that episode.

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Speaker 2: That we did, because I know that that's really hard

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Speaker 2: to do. You don't really see a lot of men

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Speaker 2: go and just be vulnerable, especially for the world to

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Speaker 2: be able to see you with the platform that we

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Speaker 2: have now, So for him to do that, I really

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Speaker 2: did feel like he was brave. And I always tell

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Speaker 2: him like he's brave, He's my superman, he's a good man,

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Speaker 2: you know, like I always try to tell him things.

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Speaker 2: But in that moment, I knew what it would do

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Speaker 2: once it aired, and it did exactly that. So I

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Speaker 2: was really proud of him. Would be touched by Yes,

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Speaker 2: how did you know that? Because I just feel like

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Speaker 2: so many men go through things like Dotha does, but

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Speaker 2: even with him and his friends circles, like, it's so

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Speaker 2: hard to hear them actually be vulnerable with each other

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Speaker 2: and talk to me like you got to have really

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Speaker 2: solid friends, yeah, because you never know, like, Okay, if

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Speaker 2: I tell you this and be vulnerable, but you are

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Speaker 2: You're gonna use this against me later, You're gonna make

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Speaker 2: fun of me, you know. So him being able to

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Speaker 2: do that to everybody and them not even know them

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Speaker 2: was really big.

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Speaker 6: And my dad called. He was like, hey, man, why

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Speaker 6: are you ty reson on the internet?

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: They also he said he was proud of me for

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Speaker 3: doing what I'm doing, but he had he had to

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Speaker 3: hear that a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all I hear is, hey, daddy, why you over

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Speaker 2: there being Tyree?

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Speaker 6: And his mom was like, Yeah, what what you got

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Speaker 6: going on? What is that about?

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Speaker 4: Isn't that crazy? Doing the black community?

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Speaker 1: We're programmed well, I'll say his men period because even

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Speaker 1: I don't see white men showing their emotions online either,

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Speaker 1: but how we've been programmed period not to show our emotions.

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Speaker 1: And ty Reese became a meme for showing his emotions.

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Speaker 1: And so that's the biggest fear is that men be like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be a meme. You know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. You can be in a moment and then

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Speaker 1: people take that moment and now it's internet like, it's

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Speaker 1: literally a meme. People comment and say, what more do

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Speaker 1: you want from me? They comment that under people's videos

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Speaker 1: or whatnot. And so even shout out to Tyreeves for

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Speaker 1: being vulnerable as a man to actually show that emotion,

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Speaker 1: because even when I saw that, and that was ways back,

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Speaker 1: I saw that, and I was like, I can empathize

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Speaker 1: with that brother, because it takes a lot of Now,

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Speaker 1: this dude has been in Fast and the Furious, all

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Speaker 1: these big movies, baby Boy, all this stuff, and then

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Speaker 1: for him to show that vulnerable moment. It's sad that

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Speaker 1: people will weaponize a man's ability against him, which will

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Speaker 1: program more men to say, see, you can't keep it real.

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Speaker 1: And that's why I say, I understand why women outlive

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Speaker 1: men that men bottle all that stuff up. They dive,

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Speaker 1: heart attack, early high blood pressure and everything else because

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Speaker 1: they're keeping all those emotions. And God created these tear

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Speaker 1: ducts for a reason. And it's a moment to emote.

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Speaker 1: Jesus Christ did in the Garden of Yosemite. He cried,

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Speaker 1: And so shout out to you, King for actually being

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Speaker 1: vulnerable and doing that. So you know, I've already interviewed

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Speaker 1: them before, and so I know a lot of the

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Speaker 1: answers to a lot of questions. But I wanted to

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Speaker 1: feel fresh and new to you. Any questions that you

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Speaker 1: would like to ask the Sykes, Well, my.

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Speaker 5: First question would just be how did y'all meet. I

309
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Speaker 5: know you've been married for thirteen years, but I don't

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Speaker 5: know how this love story started.

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Speaker 8: So can you bring me up to speed.

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Speaker 2: Well, it all started with a poem. A poem, A

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Speaker 2: poem about celibacy and some reason that turned him own.

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Speaker 6: I guess from now.

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Speaker 2: He was just like, I need that.

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Speaker 4: I turned your own.

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Speaker 9: Dought.

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Speaker 3: Hey, I mean a woman that got her guard up

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Speaker 3: and nobody can't get it us.

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Speaker 6: I feel like that's that's a sign from God right there.

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Speaker 1: So you had a poetry night and you did a

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Speaker 1: poem about celibacy, and then you were there doing.

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Speaker 3: What So I had about this new camera at the time,

324
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Speaker 3: and I was just filming, just testing it out, and

325
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Speaker 3: then she asked me to film because her mom wasn't there.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, cool, ye'all can do that. And after

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Speaker 3: that she and boxed me, Hey you got the footage

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Speaker 3: and how much would it be to get it? I said,

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Speaker 3: you know, I have to take you out on a

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Speaker 3: date for you to get this footage. Yeah, that's like,

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Speaker 3: you said, Yeah, he was like, you can get the footage,

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Speaker 3: but we got to go on a date. And I'm like,

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Speaker 3: let me consult with Jesus because this isn't what I

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Speaker 3: had in my cellar bate mind. And somebody else asked

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Speaker 3: me out on a date at the same time and

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Speaker 3: ultimately the same event. No, just like the same night,

337
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Speaker 3: just randomly, I don't know. Someone else asked me out.

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Speaker 3: And he asked me to go to six Flags with

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Speaker 3: my daughter for the weekend, and like, you know, and

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Speaker 3: then Data asked me to go see a movie I

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Speaker 3: had already seen. And keep in mind, this dude has

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Speaker 3: some masters and science, whatever the biology is. He was

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Speaker 3: already a detective for something, not a detective making making

344
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Speaker 3: blues music on the side.

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Speaker 6: So you know, when she told me who she.

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Speaker 3: I was up against, I was like, oh, he said

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Speaker 3: he good, he financially stable. And then you know, I said, yeah,

348
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Speaker 3: I mean, I said, you know, I did.

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Speaker 6: What I could.

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Speaker 3: When she called me and I was like, well, have

351
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Speaker 3: want to say flex, she was like, I'm not going

352
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Speaker 3: to say Flags.

353
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Speaker 2: Oh where are you going to the movies to see?

354
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Speaker 2: Thinks like a man again with you?

355
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Speaker 4: Well? What made you him?

356
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Speaker 2: I asked, Jesus and little why. I prayed about it

357
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Speaker 2: and I was like, okay, God, like what am I

358
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Speaker 2: supposed to be doing? Because right now I'm in the

359
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,879
Speaker 2: TELEBC season, so like who what do you want me

360
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Speaker 2: to do? He was like picked through and I was

361
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Speaker 2: like are you sure? And he's like yes, and I'm

362
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Speaker 2: like all right, cool, called out there and tell him

363
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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go with him. And literally, like that night

364
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Speaker 2: we went on the date, we were inseparable every day

365
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Speaker 2: after that.

366
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Speaker 6: I didn't like.

367
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Speaker 2: I literally was just like you can just you.

368
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Speaker 3: Know, we just live together, like I have my money,

369
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Speaker 3: say I was gonna go to LA because I was

370
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Speaker 3: already in the film business, and I was like, you

371
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Speaker 3: know what, I'm going to La. And then once this

372
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Speaker 3: happened and kicked off, I was like, you know what,

373
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Speaker 3: whatever happens happens, you know.

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Speaker 5: At this point, So did you let him know that

375
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Speaker 5: you heard from God? Later when he asked me, okay,

376
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,920
Speaker 5: but not that first conversation, she had no clue I

377
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 5: was telling but he didn't know nothing. He was asking

378
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Speaker 5: other people at the poetry and I like, what's up

379
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Speaker 5: with Shanelle? Like how do why is she so guarded?

380
00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:17,840
Speaker 2: And they were like, man, you are not gonna get

381
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Speaker 2: to talk to her, like because so many people for

382
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Speaker 2: whatever reason like me and.

383
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Speaker 8: Whatever reason, amazing.

384
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Speaker 4: Energy for whatever reason.

385
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I had it going on back then, for real,

386
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Speaker 2: for real, because I was in the Air Force and

387
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,639
Speaker 2: you know, I was working out and doing all the things.

388
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,320
Speaker 2: But yeah, everybody kept telling him good luck and he

389
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:42,360
Speaker 2: was like thanks, and he went straight forward. So that's

390
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:42,880
Speaker 2: how it went.

391
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Speaker 1: So you told him, so you were very transparent and

392
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Speaker 1: open and told him about the other opportunity that you

393
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Speaker 1: had with the other guy.

394
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Speaker 5: I did.

395
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Speaker 4: How did you say it too?

396
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 2: I was like Hi, He was like what's soup? What's soup?

397
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, I am going on and

398
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 2: he was like oh okay, Oh well no he did know.

399
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:04,960
Speaker 2: So he didn't know about the other guy because I

400
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:10,040
Speaker 2: ended up telling him in the conversation and he was like,

401
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 2: so you're gonna go with the other guy and I'm

402
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 2: like no, I'm gonna.

403
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 1: Go with you.

404
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,399
Speaker 2: And he was like okay, okay, and he was like, well,

405
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,560
Speaker 2: I'm gonna come pick you up. And I'm like, no,

406
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 2: you're not. You can't come pick me up. Because the

407
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 2: date that made me celibate, did I tell you about that.

408
00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:25,960
Speaker 2: Oh my god, the date that made me celibate. I

409
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 2: went to the movie to go see a Tyler Perry

410
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,920
Speaker 2: movie with this guy and some told me not to

411
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Speaker 2: let him take me.

412
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:32,040
Speaker 4: Like.

413
00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 2: I met him there and y'all, he made me buy

414
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 2: my own movie ticket and he pulled out a coupon

415
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 2: for a free soda pop It wasn't for me, And

416
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 2: then we're in the movie. He's talking the whole movie.

417
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:51,920
Speaker 2: He didn't buy me popcorn. Then on top of that,

418
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 2: I went to the movies like a week before that

419
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 2: or not, maybe like a month before that, and the

420
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:57,920
Speaker 2: guy that worked the concession stand was like, do you

421
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,639
Speaker 2: think I can have your number? And I was like, no,

422
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 2: can'ts you know, like I don't know. And so when

423
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,440
Speaker 2: I go on a date with the guy that movie

424
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:09,680
Speaker 2: guy that asked me out, he was like, so he

425
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,000
Speaker 2: got a coupon for a free sort of pop and

426
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 2: what do you have? Like he was laughing at me,

427
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 2: you have? I was so embarrassed, so I told I

428
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 2: was like, I'm celibate, Like I'm not doing this. This

429
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 2: is terrible. That man asked me to be his He

430
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 2: was like, come here, I think you should be my girlfriend,

431
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm gonna block you. I blocked him, and.

432
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,680
Speaker 4: At that point you was like I'm done. Yep.

433
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,200
Speaker 2: And to this day, when we see sometimes him in

434
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 2: the mall, he'd be like, what's up Dot because we

435
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 2: all went to the same poetry spot, so they knew

436
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:39,440
Speaker 2: each other.

437
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,640
Speaker 6: And it was so hard for me not to mister

438
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 6: Fath just know because I already knew about it.

439
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:52,680
Speaker 4: I'm like, wow, yeah, So let's go back to that moment.

440
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 1: So, so the rules of dating y'all went to the movies,

441
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:58,959
Speaker 1: you expected him to pay for everything.

442
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 2: I felt like, if you asked me to the movies

443
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 2: or on a date right to get a movie and

444
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:08,159
Speaker 2: ice cream, then at least pay for the ticket for

445
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:08,680
Speaker 2: the movie.

446
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 1: I don't.

447
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 2: For the girl, he was like, can I get two

448
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 2: tickets to see Tyler Perry? And I was like, okay, cool,

449
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,400
Speaker 2: and then the guy was like, it's gonna be seventeen dollars.

450
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:21,480
Speaker 2: He was like, where's your money? He said like it

451
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:28,400
Speaker 2: was a field trip. Was like okay, he just didn't

452
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 2: pay for the snack. So then we go in the

453
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 2: movie theater and he's like, all right, what snacks you want?

454
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 2: And I'm like I don't know if I trust it,

455
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 2: but I want some popcorn and some bunch of crunch.

456
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 2: All right, cool, She'll have popcorn a bunch of crunch.

457
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 2: And then he was like okay, and then he looked

458
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 2: at me. He was like, where your money? What are

459
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:47,440
Speaker 2: you talking for me for?

460
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 4: What are we doing? So?

461
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then he pulled out his cool The guy

462
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 2: was like anything else. He's like, I like a resta

463
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 2: pop and he put them on the end.

464
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 4: I like him.

465
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 2: I was so mad, and we in the movie. He

466
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 2: talking about how the lady is so hot like his mom.

467
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 2: He's probably going to see this.

468
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 6: It was a terribleness name to it. Yeah, nobody ever

469
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 6: know the movie hot.

470
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 4: Like his mom.

471
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,399
Speaker 2: He was like, oh, she's so high. She reminds me

472
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 2: of my mom. And I was like, oh, this can't

473
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 2: be what dating is. So I was like, we're done.

474
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 2: I'm never dating again.

475
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:23,919
Speaker 6: You see how I heard it was me and him.

476
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 6: After hearing that, yeah like, oh wow, like my mom,

477
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,679
Speaker 6: she's really hot him.

478
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,120
Speaker 4: He said, my mom is really hot. I would date

479
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 4: she was my mom.

480
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 2: So then Dotha asked me on the day and I

481
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 2: was like, I'm driving, you cannot come pick me he

482
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 2: was like, I'm coming to pick you up and I

483
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,159
Speaker 2: was like, okay, yes, sir, he can't pick me up.

484
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 1: He paid.

485
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 2: Then we get in the movie theater and he was like,

486
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 2: you want a snack and I was like that stuff

487
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,440
Speaker 2: too expensive, and he was like, you're gonna be my wife.

488
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:03,880
Speaker 3: Exactly. That said onepluyment too. I got two hundred fifty

489
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 3: dollars that week. I was like, I'm gonna take that out.

490
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,320
Speaker 6: On the day we went to.

491
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 3: Runner Grill, we was drawing on the table, but we

492
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 3: had a time on an unemployment chair.

493
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:14,920
Speaker 9: Yep.

494
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 6: I'm just sure I have my niece and all to

495
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 6: mon at that time.

496
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, he put on slacks for me, y'all.

497
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 4: Yep.

498
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, he got dressed up. I mean got dressed up.

499
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: So actually talked about that the other day about because

500
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: we were doing like a role play about if I

501
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 1: met her and I was just on limited funds and

502
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, I want to take her to

503
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 1: a nice restaurant and I couldn't afford it, and just said,

504
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 1: let me level out with you.

505
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

506
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 1: You're going you can get your meal, but I'm just

507
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 1: gonna drink this water because I can't afford, but.

508
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,479
Speaker 4: Just one meal? What was you do in that situation?

509
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 4: She'll say, listen, don't tell us. What do you say?

510
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 5: What you say you'll say in that situation, Well, I

511
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 5: would say, I don't know why we're here. We don't

512
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 5: need to stay at this restaurant. Let's go get a pizza, yeah,

513
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 5: because why are we living within our means? Like it

514
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 5: shouldn't be that we have to count our coins and

515
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 5: we can barely get out here. Or I said, let's

516
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 5: have a picnic, like you tell me what you can afford.

517
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 5: We can go get sandwiches, subway, subway, you know what

518
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,920
Speaker 5: I'm saying. We could get a foot long sandwich and

519
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 5: we could share it if we have to get some chips,

520
00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 5: and we put out a blanket.

521
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 8: We set the mood. We get to talking like we

522
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 8: do not need to spend money for me to be happy.

523
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:30,119
Speaker 4: So we talked about that.

524
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 1: So we talked about that a couple of weeks ago,

525
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: and I said, if I went on a date with

526
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 1: you and you said that on the first date, I

527
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,160
Speaker 1: would say, this is my wife. And so it's funny

528
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,920
Speaker 1: that he said the same thing because social media has

529
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 1: taught us. So it's so wrong. It's just so wrong,

530
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 1: so so so so wrong. What's Laticia? And I just

531
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 1: forgot the man's name. Fitness people ride talked about their

532
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 1: first date was that house? When I talked to most

533
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 1: people when they go on these first dates or whatever,

534
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: it would be the most simple place, and they like, hey,

535
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 1: I just want to get to know you, and so

536
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:11,399
Speaker 1: I want to.

537
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 4: I remember the whole thing that was going.

538
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 1: On over a year ago about the whole waffle house nonsense,

539
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: you know, waffle house, cheesecake factory nonsense, and I'm going,

540
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,120
Speaker 1: what I like cheesecave fact.

541
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 8: People are missing.

542
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 6: One girl got maund She went.

543
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 1: Talking about he took me a cheesecare Factor, and I

544
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 1: was like, we got to quit this, like the listeners

545
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,719
Speaker 1: has to stop.

546
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 8: We went to cheesecake factory twice in a week.

547
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 4: Yeah it was good. Really than give me no money?

548
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 4: So ain't I was about telling them what I ate there.

549
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 6: That was good, first time.

550
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 1: No free promote, Please run me check esca factory, Doorshall

551
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 1: and y'all lovely brown bread. But so why did you

552
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 1: say that in that moment? You said, this is my wife.

553
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 3: Because she doesn't see me financially. She wants to know

554
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 3: me for me, and what I bring to the table

555
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 3: is me already. So now I just have to continuing

556
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 3: being me, And that's and I think that's the best

557
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 3: way to build with somebody, like when you can just

558
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 3: like when you have when you take money out of

559
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:27,199
Speaker 3: the equation and all you got is conversation and your

560
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 3: spirits connect and everything connects and it's just a good time.

561
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, money is just a plus when you're together.

562
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 3: But when you can do without it, Oh yeah, that's.

563
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 4: So.

564
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,359
Speaker 1: Most people have said that you don't have no business

565
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 1: dating when you don't have a job on unemployment. Of

566
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 1: course you didn't believe that, But Chanelle, did you agree

567
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: with that ideology in the past.

568
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 4: No, why not, because I don't care.

569
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 2: I mean, I just I also kind of feel like.

570
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 1: Oh, on you at the Air Force, you got a career,

571
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 1: you got a job. You tell me that a guy

572
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 1: clearly happened, but a guy that is on unemployment in

573
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 1: the way you were thinking prior to meeting Dotha, that

574
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 1: was okay.

575
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean before meeting him, my mindset may

576
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:16,639
Speaker 2: have been different. It may have been like, Oh, at

577
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 2: one point, I think I thought I was going to

578
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 2: be with somebody in the military because they understood my

579
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 2: lifestyle an active duty you know, off on the weekends.

580
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:26,680
Speaker 2: But then when I met Dotha, I was like, wow,

581
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 2: this is a whole different world, Like he just out

582
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 2: here just doing stuff. But at the same time, even

583
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 2: though he was on unemployment, Dotha's situation was different because

584
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 2: he also got residual checks from movies right TV shows,

585
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 2: So like Dontha would get money coming in, he just

586
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 2: wouldn't have to go to work. And so when he

587
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 2: first told me he was a stunt double, I was like, okay,

588
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 2: so like what else, Like what else do you do?

589
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 2: And he's like, that's it. I just work on films,

590
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 2: and I'm like all right, okay. But then he showed

591
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 2: me things that he actually worked on it, and I

592
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 2: was like, oh, oh, I get it. Okay, now I'm

593
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 2: starting to make sense that there's other ways to live

594
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 2: outside of what we were taught growing up.

595
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 1: That's the money being inconsistent like that as a woman,

596
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 1: you didn't desire stability.

597
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 2: I have my own stability, So for me, it wasn't

598
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 2: I wasn't looking for somebody to take care of me.

599
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 2: I was looking for somebody to be kind to me,

600
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 2: to be supportive of me, and I could hopefully do

601
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 2: the same for him.

602
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 4: I didn't.

603
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,000
Speaker 2: I don't care about the money part.

604
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 4: How were you raised, dotha?

605
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 1: Were you raised that you know, men should be the

606
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 1: provider that you felt that you had to be at

607
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 1: a certain level financially to start dating with intention or

608
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 1: to get married, or you just didn't even accept that

609
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 1: ideology at all.

610
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,560
Speaker 3: Well, watching my dad on how he raised us and

611
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 3: with my mom and they've been going through a lot,

612
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 3: like financially on and off. Yeah, I learned that things happen,

613
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 3: but they stick together with that. So with that, it's

614
00:29:56,680 --> 00:30:00,120
Speaker 3: just what I learned from him is you know, just

615
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 3: don't be lazy, control what you can, you know, and

616
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 3: do what you can. So yeah, from that aspect of

617
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 3: it is like I knew I was already driven. I

618
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 3: knew I had my goals. It's not trying to, you know,

619
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 3: live off of somebody, you know what I mean.

620
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 6: I just had goals.

621
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 3: But like meeting her with that, you know, somebody's already

622
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 3: for one k and I said, oh marriage mina military

623
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 3: I got free insurance. Now I'm like, okay.

624
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 6: He brought all his friends to the gym.

625
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 4: At the gym.

626
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 3: But what God had for me, I knew it was.

627
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 3: I just trusted what he had for me, you know

628
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 3: what I mean. I just try to trust the process,

629
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 3: you know. And I think that's what.

630
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 2: A big part of it too, was that. Okay, I

631
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 2: know we joke about the unemployment and stuff, but there

632
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 2: were times when we first got together my biological dad

633
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 2: was passing away, right, And so I'm on orders and

634
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 2: I get the phone call while I'm at work that

635
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 2: I need to be in Atlanta to be with or

636
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 2: in front of a man who is my dad but

637
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 2: I haven't seen in years, since I was like fourteen,

638
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 2: and so I'm like, I need to get there. And

639
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 2: doctor was like, we can take my unemployment check, we

640
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 2: can put the gas in the car, we can get

641
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 2: the hotel room. He literally gave me his last you

642
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. He had just got it and

643
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 2: was like, let's go, I'll drive. You don't have to

644
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 2: worry about anything. And so for that, just having that

645
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 2: in him was like he is my forever man. Like

646
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 2: there's no way money could account to exactly what he's

647
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 2: given me.

648
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 4: So yeah, and.

649
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 6: I don't want to this since we over this time.

650
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 3: I remember he had called and she answered, and you know,

651
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 3: he was like, if I give you a million dollars,

652
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 3: what would you do with it?

653
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 6: She never said, I don't know. And then they got

654
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 6: off the phone.

655
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 4: And then.

656
00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 3: After everything settled, I was like, here's that million dollars.

657
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 3: So random, but yes, we need where where did that

658
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 3: money go?

659
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 2: We don't know.

660
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 4: Don't like this.

661
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened with it, if if if?

662
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 5: But I think that's so good and I want people

663
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 5: like because you can have money, but you cannot be generous, right.

664
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 5: And then something key that you said was that you

665
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 5: weren't lazy, and so I think that as people because

666
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:40,240
Speaker 5: a lot of people in these social social social media

667
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 5: streets will say he has to make this amount of money.

668
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 5: But if you look for values in a person, right,

669
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 5: he's generous.

670
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 8: Why can't I speak today? He's generous, right, And.

671
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 5: He is kind like you said, And then he's ambitious.

672
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 5: He doesn't just let the whole day past. He has visions,

673
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 5: so you can come under the vision and submit. It

674
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 5: sounds like the perfect recipe for you, of course, to

675
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 5: fall in love with him.

676
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 2: And also I didn't have a list like a lot

677
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 2: of people like what he needs to have, this he

678
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 2: needs to sell myself. I don't have that. I felt

679
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 2: like the minute I started giving God a list of

680
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 2: my requirements, then I would lose out on exactly what

681
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 2: he had for me, because who he might have for

682
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 2: me my struggle financially right now, but later on it

683
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 2: might be he might be extremely wealthy, or he might

684
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 2: have issues or need to grow up in these places,

685
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 2: but that may be where I come in. So I

686
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 2: can't tell God, oh, this is what I want, and

687
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 2: then he gives me exactly that, and then I don't.

688
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 2: I'm still not fulfilled and happy. So I let God

689
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 2: tell me what I need versus me telling God what

690
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 2: I think I should have.

691
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 4: Really, have you always been like that?

692
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: Yes?

693
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 4: Really?

694
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 6: Absolutely? My mama didn't play.

695
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 4: So if I lined up all the guys that you

696
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:58,719
Speaker 4: to day that they just all just different.

697
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 2: They're all different, there's all different people.

698
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 1: So you're just really open and submitted to God, let

699
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: God will be done.

700
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, But I mean there are also times where I

701
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 2: let less to get in the way, you know, like,

702
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 2: and then God spoke to me and be like that

703
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 2: is not your man, Like, that is not who is

704
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 2: for you? And then you know, you fall and you

705
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 2: get hard headed. And the more you stay in a

706
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 2: situation where God is trying to pull you out of

707
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 2: the bigger the signs get God is gonna show you

708
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 2: He's gonna give you a subtle sign at first, pay attention,

709
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,839
Speaker 2: go the other way. You keep staying, you're gonna keep

710
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 2: ending up with more and more problems.

711
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

712
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 2: So I learned early on that if I leave early

713
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 2: enough where God has already shown me, then the heartbreak

714
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 2: won't be as bad. I can move on and then

715
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 2: I can heal and do what I need to do

716
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 2: and become the person I need to be. So when

717
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 2: the right person comes, then I'm already exactly where I

718
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:49,840
Speaker 2: need to be.

719
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 4: That's good.

720
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 1: A lot of videos that you're always open and transparent

721
00:34:54,520 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 1: about sharing with women to overlook height in dating that

722
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 1: their husband may be shorter.

723
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:05,840
Speaker 4: Why do you feel like that is so important to share.

724
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,759
Speaker 2: Because I feel like a lot of times people get

725
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:13,400
Speaker 2: caught up in the view, the aesthetic and what it

726
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 2: looks like on the outside, especially for other people looking in,

727
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 2: but then you miss out on the person that's intended

728
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 2: for you because you're so busy trying to impress the

729
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 2: next person, you know.

730
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 6: And it's no shade.

731
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 2: I understand now some of these women be five four

732
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:31,280
Speaker 2: and they don't want somebody five to three, okay Ian,

733
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 2: But for me, like being I'm six feet there, I

734
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 2: think he's how tall?

735
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 6: You about the five ten and three forces.

736
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 2: Five teen and that three forces not there?

737
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 6: That stand up straight?

738
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 4: Is there?

739
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 9: We get a car.

740
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 4: Practice exactly, you know the time.

741
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 2: But I just wish that more women were open minded,

742
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 2: because so many women are like, oh my god, there's

743
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 2: so great, We'll get you a short king. I'm trying

744
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 2: to tell y'all get a short man. Yeah, it's simple, and.

745
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,399
Speaker 4: Dother was you because it can go the other way

746
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,399
Speaker 4: around where you like, I didn't want a woman taller

747
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 4: to me.

748
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 6: I never said that.

749
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:16,799
Speaker 3: She was the first woman that dated I was taller

750
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:21,239
Speaker 3: to me, mar yeah, first one, and I never I

751
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:22,879
Speaker 3: didn't have a preference as as long as.

752
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 4: You I'm both the same way the people chance.

753
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm open you know, because like I knew what

754
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 3: I want from my spouse, I just didn't. I couldn't

755
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 3: put a face hurt anything to it. But then when

756
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 3: I saw her.

757
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:39,759
Speaker 6: And the energy that I'm like, she tall, like I

758
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 6: like talking. Yeah, so it worked.

759
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,840
Speaker 1: So y'all just both open minded. So what people should

760
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:58,800
Speaker 1: take away from this is surrender your desires to the

761
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 1: desires of God and just say God, not my will

762
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 1: be left, I will be done whoever you have in

763
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 1: store for me, and let it be so.

764
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 3: Because if you can just yourself to work for somebody else,

765
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 3: why you can't adjust yourself to be with somebody.

766
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 6: Bar okay, okay, right?

767
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,760
Speaker 2: If you can get up and go to work somewhere

768
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 2: you don't want to be, and adjust to a lifestyle

769
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,240
Speaker 2: that you don't want, why you can't adjust to because

770
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 2: the job?

771
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 6: Say you, oh, would you work weekends? You know you

772
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 6: don't want to wear weekend?

773
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 2: But you do it anyway.

774
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 4: You do it anyway.

775
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 6: That's what I'm saying.

776
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 1: Is so real, y'all got y'all both brought a kid

777
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:45,240
Speaker 1: to the marriage, right, and so total y'all have five kids.

778
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: How was that with building? Because at first you were

779
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 1: air Force. He was a creative he's you know, the

780
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,320
Speaker 1: stunt double was going to move to l A. What

781
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 1: made you decide to pick it so quickly? Uh Dolther

782
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 1: and say I'm gonna hold my quote unquote.

783
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 3: Dreams back for this relationship because loyalty is hard to find,

784
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 3: you know, because like working, like being on set or

785
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 3: working surround yourself around the people. I see a lot

786
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 3: of famous, lonely people, and it's like at that point

787
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 3: you get to hire a certain standard, like is it

788
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 3: really worth it where you like the world knows who

789
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,319
Speaker 3: you are, but you don't trust nobody around you that part,

790
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 3: or you know what I mean? So and that was

791
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 3: always the thing for me. I feel like if it

792
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 3: was for me, it's gonna be for me regardless what happens.

793
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 3: So I chose and next say, once you find a

794
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 3: good one, I don't know. If you messed that one up,

795
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:48,880
Speaker 3: you ain't gonna find It's gonna be hard to.

796
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 6: Find another one, you know what I mean?

797
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 3: So and I always when when she first called my eye,

798
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 3: I knew I wanted her. Then when the opportunity to

799
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 3: present itself, I was like, Okay, this is just not

800
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 3: a running so I have to take this opportunity.

801
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 4: What did you want her?

802
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 1: Ass when she first caught your eye? You wanted her

803
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 1: as your wife or you just wanted to get to

804
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 1: know her?

805
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 4: Oh? Both both.

806
00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 3: I wanted to get to know her first because if

807
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 3: your spirit and your energy is not there, then I'm

808
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 3: quick to shoot out like all right, cool. It was fun,

809
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 3: you know, but the fact that it all lined up

810
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 3: like it was just like, oh, yeah, I can't I

811
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:29,400
Speaker 3: can't find nothing better than this.

812
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 1: And now the pivot happened is that at first Dotha

813
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:38,359
Speaker 1: was the creative one and you were the corporate one.

814
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 1: But you said, the roles have shifted drastically into what

815
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:52,719
Speaker 1: I'm goofy, And initially Dotha was the one on the

816
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 1: camera and I'll be like, what are you doing? Like

817
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 1: why are you making these videos?

818
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 2: He's like because And I really feel like Dotha was

819
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,439
Speaker 2: so ahead of his time because the skits he was making.

820
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 2: We just went back and watched them. They were hilarious,

821
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:07,240
Speaker 2: but he didn't have the following and people just weren't

822
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:08,880
Speaker 2: really onto it at that point.

823
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 4: And put time how long ago? What year was this?

824
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,760
Speaker 6: Ooh twent thirteen, Yeah, twelve thirteen.

825
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were on Vine, but Docta was already posting

826
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:18,760
Speaker 2: longer skits on Facebook.

827
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 7: Are you were?

828
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:19,959
Speaker 9: Yes?

829
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:24,120
Speaker 2: Yes, and they were hilarious, and I'm just like, so

830
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 2: he was doing that, but I couldn't really see much

831
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 2: of what was supposed to be coming from that, and

832
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,320
Speaker 2: I was going to work and then somehow down the line,

833
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 2: we made one funny video and it went viral and

834
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 2: I was like, let's do some more. And he was like,

835
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:40,400
Speaker 2: I'm done with that life, you know.

836
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 6: He was like, I've been there, done that.

837
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 2: He was a comedian, he had been to New York, LA,

838
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 2: like all the places to do these things, and I

839
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:49,279
Speaker 2: guess I just.

840
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:53,320
Speaker 4: Reled them back in life. Yeah, like that's not for me.

841
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, And I was like, no, it's not. Let's

842
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:56,840
Speaker 2: do it.

843
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 4: So what was that first skit that went viral? What

844
00:40:58,520 --> 00:40:59,399
Speaker 4: were y'all talking about?

845
00:40:59,800 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 9: Man?

846
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 2: And we were making fun of people in love get

847
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 2: where we were like hugging and kissing, and we were like,

848
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 2: this is not going to go viral. And he hit

849
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,840
Speaker 2: like a million that like the next morning, and I

850
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 2: was like.

851
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 4: The next morning, Yes, on web platform.

852
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 2: Instagram, and then it was all on Black Love. It

853
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,600
Speaker 2: was it was everywhere, and I was like, this cannot

854
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 2: be real. This is how easy it is. So then

855
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 2: we started making funny content. And at the time I

856
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 2: started making funny content, we made the Ken Doll, the

857
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 2: Viral Doll, the Three Ken Dolls, on the truck and

858
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 2: I called up and I was like, it's some men

859
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 2: on the car and they won't move and doctor comes

860
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 2: running downstairs. But it was really just three Kim Barbie

861
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 2: dolls and it was at the time of the Barbie

862
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 2: movie and the movie, like, the video went extremely viral

863
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:49,360
Speaker 2: and then I had people harass you to come on

864
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:49,799
Speaker 2: your show.

865
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,439
Speaker 1: They started hitting me up. Yeah, she told she told people.

866
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 1: Tell them what you told people? Sel who started telling

867
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:56,360
Speaker 1: your audience to do what?

868
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:57,400
Speaker 4: Hit them up?

869
00:41:57,680 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 1: Call him?

870
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 6: Since smoke signals air.

871
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 1: Like, I said, why people keep tagging me in this

872
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,360
Speaker 1: girl stuff? You need to have the DM and you

873
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 1: need to have Chail on the podcast. I said, who

874
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,400
Speaker 1: is Chanail? So they go to page I'm like, oh,

875
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 1: he's funny with what she talking about it. You need

876
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 1: to have anything to have it. And it was just

877
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,839
Speaker 1: blowing me up, and I said, let me just see

878
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 1: who this couple is. And I was like, oh, I

879
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 1: like them.

880
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, I said, I would love to.

881
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,120
Speaker 1: Talk to them, because what I loved about y'all is

882
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,359
Speaker 1: that y'all enjoy each other. I can genuinely see when

883
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 1: people aren't just quote unquote influencer couples and people that

884
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 1: are couples that use their influence, you know what I'm saying,

885
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: And so that that's a big That was a bar,

886
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 1: that was.

887
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 4: Your hair only one dropping bos, but that was the reality.

888
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 1: So I looked at them and I said I like them,

889
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 1: And I didn't know the story that y'all had, But

890
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:59,280
Speaker 1: once I got the unpacking that, I was like, gosh,

891
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 1: let me tell you what I love about the SYCHS.

892
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 1: It's because y'all truly take those vows seriously, for better,

893
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: for worse, richer, and for poor.

894
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 4: Have y'all had any sickness and in health situation?

895
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 9: Yes?

896
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:15,320
Speaker 4: What was that?

897
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:17,920
Speaker 2: We just was talking about this on the way here.

898
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 2: I ended up having cardiac issues with heart rhythmia, and

899
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,920
Speaker 2: it was during my fitness time where I was teaching girl.

900
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:26,200
Speaker 2: You remember I told you I had a virtual fitness well.

901
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,120
Speaker 2: I ended up having to do like blood work and

902
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 2: having to wear the heart monitor because I was in

903
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,359
Speaker 2: the emergency room a few times and my heart will

904
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 2: going to an abnormal rhythm, but it could be fatal

905
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:39,800
Speaker 2: if it stayed too long. And so having that happen

906
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 2: and like not understanding why, and then getting my genetic

907
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 2: testing back and being told that one of the genes

908
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:50,440
Speaker 2: I do have an abnormal heart rhythm. That really tested

909
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 2: us because then they were like, oh, well, it's an

910
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 2: electrical issue. You can't be startled, you know, you have

911
00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:59,880
Speaker 2: to be careful. And I just remember one time adult

912
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,520
Speaker 2: was in the kitchen and I was wearing a monitor

913
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 2: and I looked out into the kitchen and he just

914
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 2: started crying and he was just like, just don't leave, like,

915
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:09,880
Speaker 2: you know, we have to fix this. And it was

916
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 2: so hard because I was trying to just be okay

917
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:18,360
Speaker 2: and not let all of these thoughts cloud and he

918
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 2: was just trying to keep function of the house. It

919
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 2: was it was rough.

920
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 4: Don't leave.

921
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, but this is the thing about me though. I

922
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 3: had to realize I couldn't catch myself or what man say.

923
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 3: It takes a hard time to understand that because sometimes

924
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 3: we intentionally do we live the man life unintentionally, And

925
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 3: then when the doctor says, oh you got this, this

926
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 3: is uncurable, or this is new, this is new, and

927
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 3: you receive it and you got to think about God

928
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 3: created you individually, and you can cure anything that you

929
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 3: through Him. So when I started doing more research and

930
00:44:56,280 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 3: start praying, I was stuffing magnesium down her throat.

931
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 6: He loved me so much.

932
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 3: And the potassium, you know, like just a thing that

933
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 3: God gave us to keep us sustained.

934
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:11,360
Speaker 6: And can you say what's going on?

935
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:18,360
Speaker 2: He loves me so much, like.

936
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 6: H m hm, Now you're gonna tell me nothing. I know,

937
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:30,239
Speaker 6: But I wasn't. Y'all this man loved me.

938
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 4: I can't.

939
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 2: That's why I'm so like, oh, that's my man, because

940
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:38,600
Speaker 2: it's so easy to say that that person is for

941
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 2: you when everything is going right, but when stuff get

942
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:45,280
Speaker 2: the going wrong. And he had done so much research.

943
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 2: He literally was like drink this, take this, like just you,

944
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 2: You're gonna be fine. And he would just come up

945
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 2: to me when I would be nervous and he'd be like, hey,

946
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 2: who is your gun? And I'd be like when he

947
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,799
Speaker 2: would say it, initially, I'd be like, you know God,

948
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:04,320
Speaker 2: and he'd be like, no, who is your God? And

949
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 2: just knowing that like he could tell when he could

950
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 2: tell when I was anxious about it, and he would

951
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 2: just come and like behind me and just tap my

952
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 2: heart like.

953
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,719
Speaker 6: You're okay, everything is fun.

954
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 2: Or he would catch on the body cues of like

955
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 2: me kind of being like this, and he would come

956
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 2: and like, just allow me to lay my head on

957
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 2: his chest so I could hear his heart beat, so

958
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 2: I could regulate mine. He really loves me, and I

959
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 2: love him. I just couldn't do it without him.

960
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 1: And this is where it makes all the sense in

961
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:05,879
Speaker 1: the world to be in total surrender, when we love God,

962
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 1: to choose our purpose partners, because I'm telling you, Chanelle,

963
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:16,800
Speaker 1: there's other men that would have left. It grieves my

964
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: heart when I talk to people in the medical field

965
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: that shared testimonies of how people are in the hospital

966
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:28,799
Speaker 1: alone because the spouse left them after a diagnosis, and.

967
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 4: I'd be like, how cruel can you be?

968
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 1: I interviewed this woman in the Bahamas and she shared

969
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 1: how she was married to this guy.

970
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 4: They had like five kids.

971
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 1: Similar to y'all, and she started losing her sight and

972
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 1: after she got diagnosis that she would be blind after

973
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 1: x amount of months, her husband.

974
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 4: Was like, deuces really left her?

975
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:57,279
Speaker 5: Wow?

976
00:47:57,719 --> 00:47:58,120
Speaker 4: Left her?

977
00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 1: She was blind with five kids and a husband left her.

978
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,359
Speaker 1: I thought that that was the most cool human being

979
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:09,840
Speaker 1: on this earth to leave your wife like that. But

980
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:11,719
Speaker 1: they do it because they can't handle it. They like,

981
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 1: I signed up for this, Yeah, I then signed up

982
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:18,799
Speaker 1: for this. And what's so beautiful about is that y'all

983
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 1: signed up for this. I signed up for this, Astley

984
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,960
Speaker 1: signed up for this. That no matter what, when we

985
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 1: took those vows, we took those vowels, and we believe it.

986
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:31,279
Speaker 4: I never knew that y'all went through that.

987
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 2: And that was what in twenty twenty No, that was

988
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 2: twenty twenty two. It was right when we switched like

989
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 2: it was the year that we met you. It was

990
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:41,640
Speaker 2: right before we switched over. I was like, I can't

991
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 2: do Phoenix anymore. I think we had made like a

992
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 2: six six figures. Yeah, we had made six figures in

993
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:51,800
Speaker 2: the fitness business the first year, and it was so

994
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 2: much on my heart, like as when it comes to

995
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 2: like the harp palpitations, the emergency room business, that I

996
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:00,920
Speaker 2: just was like, I can't do it anymore. I can't

997
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 2: take on anything else like that. And so we decided

998
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:07,359
Speaker 2: to switch from fitness to comedy. And so yeah, that's

999
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,000
Speaker 2: the year. It just seemed like everything just started changing

1000
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 2: at that point when we made the shift.

1001
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:16,480
Speaker 1: No, there's another little bar, Homo drop a prophetic bar.

1002
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 1: The Bible says, laughter do it. The heart good is

1003
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 1: medicine isn't that amazing God and all his omniscience. You're right,

1004
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:31,560
Speaker 1: that's a bar that God shifted you from that season

1005
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:35,040
Speaker 1: of doing exercise where y'all were making money doing that,

1006
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:37,959
Speaker 1: and then he says, I'm going to heal your heart

1007
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 1: and then he's using laughter to do it.

1008
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 2: And I haven't had any issue since literally, no more

1009
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 2: abnormal heart rhythm.

1010
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 4: Laughter do it the heart good as medicine.

1011
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 9: Wow.

1012
00:49:55,760 --> 00:50:00,200
Speaker 4: And that's what God did for you physically prophetically over

1013
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:00,719
Speaker 4: your life.

1014
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 1: And would you say that in this season of your

1015
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:06,719
Speaker 1: life you made more than what you made when you

1016
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:07,880
Speaker 1: were doing the fitness stuff.

1017
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:08,120
Speaker 4: Oh?

1018
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:11,800
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Oh yeah. And it ain't even about that, like

1019
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:13,759
Speaker 2: that's not even the important part. It's just the fact

1020
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,400
Speaker 2: that we're able to Our biggest goal was to just

1021
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:18,719
Speaker 2: be able to show up for the kids anytime we

1022
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 2: want to without being like, oh, we gotta go to

1023
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 2: work or call in, you know so.

1024
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:29,839
Speaker 5: And then for men who may be their spouse is ill,

1025
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 5: what would you tell that man, that husband who's going

1026
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 5: through something right now?

1027
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:38,960
Speaker 8: Because I know that wasn't easy for you.

1028
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 3: I mean, got to keep God first. Prayer I mean,

1029
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:49,919
Speaker 3: is you can't never prayer enough. But also with that prayer,

1030
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 3: you also got to take action. Because God created this world.

1031
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 3: Anything that you can think of when it comes to

1032
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:02,800
Speaker 3: any diagnosis, there's a plant for ye that God created.

1033
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:06,640
Speaker 3: We just have to, you know, do our research and

1034
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 3: also keep that aligned too. Together And just because man said,

1035
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 3: don't mean it's what God says and your actions. You

1036
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 3: would get the truth with your actions aligned with.

1037
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 4: That where you say God said it, Yeah, God said it.

1038
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:27,239
Speaker 4: That settles it.

1039
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 1: Whose report? I remember growing up and that's what we

1040
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 1: always hear. Whose report? Will you believe y'all believed the

1041
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 1: report of the Lord?

1042
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:37,520
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1043
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 1: Man, that's that's powerful. I never knew that y'all went

1044
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:45,360
Speaker 1: through a health scare like that. But how did that

1045
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:48,799
Speaker 1: solidify y'all's marriage? Because, like you said, that's the reason

1046
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:50,760
Speaker 1: why you alays say I love this man, he loves

1047
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 1: me and all that.

1048
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 4: What did that do for you? How did that speak

1049
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:54,840
Speaker 4: to you?

1050
00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:59,239
Speaker 1: Knowing that you had a man in your life that said,

1051
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna leave you, matter of fact even told

1052
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:02,160
Speaker 1: you don't you leave me either.

1053
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 2: For me, it just really reminded me that he's so kind,

1054
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 2: you know, Like that is my biggest word. I know,

1055
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:13,880
Speaker 2: like I don't know. I just feel like knowing that

1056
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:16,240
Speaker 2: he would take the time to take care of himself

1057
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 2: and still take care of me. And we talked about

1058
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:21,080
Speaker 2: that the last episode, like you know, he I'm down

1059
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 2: and then he goes down. You got to pull him up,

1060
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 2: but he's strong.

1061
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1062
00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:30,719
Speaker 3: I remember I was coming from a flight after working

1063
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 3: on Walking Dead and we had this conversation. It was

1064
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 3: during the time too, when she had she was going

1065
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:39,239
Speaker 3: through the situations and I get a text. As soon

1066
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 3: as I land on the way home, I get a

1067
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 3: text and she was like, you know, I don't want

1068
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 3: you to go anywhere, and she was saying how scared

1069
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:49,319
Speaker 3: she was the kids missing me because I was going

1070
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:52,200
Speaker 3: like nine months out of the year. Wow, And yeah yeah,

1071
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 3: so just filming, I was living my goal, like because

1072
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 3: I think our communication was there, but it was still

1073
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:03,560
Speaker 3: this connection because once we get when we pray for God,

1074
00:53:03,640 --> 00:53:04,799
Speaker 3: like I want to do this full time.

1075
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:06,839
Speaker 6: I'm doing this full time. She's at home full time.

1076
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:07,760
Speaker 6: It's what we wanted.

1077
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:11,799
Speaker 3: But then there was a pivot to where like, okay,

1078
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:13,600
Speaker 3: now we live in it, but this is not really

1079
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:17,839
Speaker 3: what I want, so and so what do you want?

1080
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 3: So when she asked me what I want. I was like,

1081
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 3: I would love to be at home with you guys

1082
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:24,439
Speaker 3: twenty four to seven, and I have to worry about

1083
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:25,560
Speaker 3: paying bills and stuff like that.

1084
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 6: And she's like, that's the problem. Then we'll figure it out.

1085
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 3: So when she say how scared she was, I had

1086
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:34,759
Speaker 3: I turned down working on Black Panther too because my

1087
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:39,360
Speaker 3: wife needed me. So when she said how she feels,

1088
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 3: she cried out to me and how she was scared

1089
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,200
Speaker 3: because of the situation and all that, and I'm like, okay,

1090
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:47,799
Speaker 3: well then we got to figure it out right, as

1091
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:48,440
Speaker 3: we normally do.

1092
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 6: And I think that's the thing.

1093
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 3: I trust my wife, and I think once you trust

1094
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:57,920
Speaker 3: your spouse to who you actually married under God, you

1095
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 3: trust God. You trust your spouse by default, by the fault.

1096
00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:05,880
Speaker 3: So she's been right plenty of times. You think all

1097
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:09,240
Speaker 3: this kid was my choice. We'll be fine.

1098
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, like fun, Yeah, gonna be fine. I be delusional

1099
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 6: till it's truth, and that's what it is.

1100
00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:20,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, what say you told him to quit his job?

1101
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:25,279
Speaker 2: I sure did. I made twelve hundred dollars and rent

1102
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 2: was eighteen hundred by myself, and I was like, hey,

1103
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:29,879
Speaker 2: let's quit your job.

1104
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:33,120
Speaker 6: Was a flood was fun like it.

1105
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:35,560
Speaker 2: I was like, you should do it, you should quit

1106
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:39,000
Speaker 2: and he's like, no, why and I'm like, because we're

1107
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 2: making money. He's like, you made twel hundred dollars. What

1108
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:46,040
Speaker 2: is you talking about? And I'm like, God's got it.

1109
00:54:46,239 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 2: It's gonna be fine. It's totally fine. Don't go tonight.

1110
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:51,839
Speaker 2: And he was like, man, I'm gonna go to work.

1111
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 2: He's taking off his club man, what are you talking about.

1112
00:54:54,880 --> 00:55:01,239
Speaker 2: I'm glad you're gonna stay home make this work. And

1113
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 2: we ain't been back to work since it was four

1114
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 2: years ago. And you said, because you knew he was

1115
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:10,200
Speaker 2: going to a place that he was not happy yet, Yeah,

1116
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 2: he did. I like working in the deep freezer at Alberson's.

1117
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:16,680
Speaker 2: I'm sorry Albersons, but he just didn't like it. It's

1118
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:18,680
Speaker 2: not where he was supposed to do a sponsorship of

1119
00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:23,480
Speaker 2: the difference. He wasn't supposed to be there. When I

1120
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 2: met him and married him, I knew his calling was

1121
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 2: being creative. Yes, before anybody else, even before it became

1122
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:33,279
Speaker 2: a thing for real, I knew that that was what

1123
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:35,239
Speaker 2: he was supposed to do. Now did we bump his

1124
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:37,400
Speaker 2: because he was trying to fit the mode. Absolutely, he

1125
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 2: was trying to fit the mode of American dad, go

1126
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:41,839
Speaker 2: to work, health insurance, all the things.

1127
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:45,000
Speaker 3: And that was the times we clashed the most, really

1128
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:47,920
Speaker 3: because the roads switched because when I met her, she

1129
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:51,360
Speaker 3: was in the corporate job getting on me about creating

1130
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:54,160
Speaker 3: it's important, like you know. But then now when she

1131
00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:57,239
Speaker 3: does it and I get into the corporate world, you know,

1132
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:00,160
Speaker 3: and now it's just it's like the table just turned, like.

1133
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 6: Are you Yeah, He's like, what are you talking about?

1134
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 6: Like what are you? What are you doing what I

1135
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 6: used to do?

1136
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 7: Like I brought you in?

1137
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:13,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, we just knew, like and then my biggest goal

1138
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,200
Speaker 2: for him was I knew that he wanted. He had

1139
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:18,000
Speaker 2: done so much to take care of us, right like

1140
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:20,840
Speaker 2: working all these jobs that he hated, and I wanted

1141
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:24,239
Speaker 2: him to be able to live his purpose. So when

1142
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:27,880
Speaker 2: I started the fitness company, my biggest intent was for

1143
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:31,120
Speaker 2: him to do what he what made him happy. And

1144
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:32,960
Speaker 2: when I was able to do that, he was able

1145
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,439
Speaker 2: to go be on set. That's how he was able

1146
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,640
Speaker 2: to go nine months. I was holding down home, he

1147
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 2: was holding down home to just from somewhere else. And

1148
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:42,719
Speaker 2: ultimately that's all I wanted. I just I want him

1149
00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:44,359
Speaker 2: to make it so he can tag team me out,

1150
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:47,440
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, and now we both do

1151
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:51,239
Speaker 2: it together. So yeah, like I know he's going to

1152
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:54,320
Speaker 2: be I'm gonna say this right here, right now. You

1153
00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 2: are a director. You will direct your first huge film.

1154
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:02,120
Speaker 2: It's going to sell out, it's going to be top

1155
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:04,840
Speaker 2: of the charts. And I'm gonna be right there in

1156
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:07,400
Speaker 2: a real cute black dress, and you're gonna get up

1157
00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 2: on stage and be like, thank you, thank you, Jesus,

1158
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:12,320
Speaker 2: thank you got and yeah, you're gonna direct your I Lena.

1159
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:14,440
Speaker 6: Give you the credit for it because without you, you know,

1160
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:15,880
Speaker 6: this wouldn't have happened.

1161
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 4: And I received that, okay.

1162
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 1: And so when you looked at that, so you gave

1163
00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 1: him the grace. You're talking about nine months of him

1164
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:28,680
Speaker 1: out there. You didn't get resempful, like he's enjoying his life.

1165
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:29,200
Speaker 4: He's living this.

1166
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:32,000
Speaker 1: Fun.

1167
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:34,280
Speaker 6: But I would call him laughter.

1168
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:36,560
Speaker 2: Laughing.

1169
00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 1: I am, I am, I need you back.

1170
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:46,480
Speaker 2: You're having too much fun. I see pictures and you

1171
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 2: you all posed up. I'm like, come on back over here.

1172
00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 2: But it was also me getting in the way. I

1173
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:56,240
Speaker 2: was being selfish of the blessing because we asked for it,

1174
00:57:56,360 --> 00:57:59,360
Speaker 2: we did, so that was on me. I was being

1175
00:57:59,400 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 2: a little child.

1176
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 1: Did you feel guilty for being able to have fun

1177
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:03,959
Speaker 1: and your wife out there raising your kids?

1178
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 6: No, no, that is what we asked for. You can't

1179
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:10,880
Speaker 6: get me because this is what second what we asked for.

1180
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:13,440
Speaker 6: It'd be different if I.

1181
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:15,360
Speaker 3: Was out there, like, you know, spending the money like

1182
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:17,160
Speaker 3: crazy and being irresponsible.

1183
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:19,600
Speaker 6: But no, I'm working, like sometimes you gotta.

1184
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:21,960
Speaker 4: Don't you answer that the way I expected?

1185
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:23,880
Speaker 2: He did for me. I knew he was going to

1186
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:24,560
Speaker 2: tell it us.

1187
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:28,760
Speaker 4: No, that's what I asked for. I wanted to be

1188
00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:29,920
Speaker 4: out here doing this movie.

1189
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:32,400
Speaker 8: Yes, I was heavy, and I sent the money home.

1190
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 2: What got him was when DJ called him after like

1191
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:38,320
Speaker 2: month seven and was like, I thought you was going

1192
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:42,440
Speaker 2: to get bread. He broke his heart.

1193
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,360
Speaker 6: Yes, yes did he sure did?

1194
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:47,080
Speaker 4: And I let him.

1195
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:50,680
Speaker 2: I was like, go ahead and say some more, baby, daddy,

1196
00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 2: bring the bread.

1197
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:57,640
Speaker 4: Yes, I thought you was gonna get bread. What made

1198
00:58:57,720 --> 00:58:58,120
Speaker 4: him say that?

1199
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:00,240
Speaker 6: I was like, what are you watching? What do you

1200
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:05,080
Speaker 6: Where is this come from? I didn't tell him.

1201
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 4: I was so you guys looked, you're talking your daddy

1202
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:12,479
Speaker 4: out there getting bred?

1203
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:27,040
Speaker 6: Probably hilarious going to come back, and.

1204
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:32,200
Speaker 4: He said, my gun to stuff.

1205
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 6: Oh man, that's our son.

1206
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:38,000
Speaker 4: That is hilarious.

1207
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:40,520
Speaker 1: So as let me ask you all this what has

1208
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 1: marriage taught you the most? And y'all can take turns

1209
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:44,640
Speaker 1: answer that question.

1210
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:46,960
Speaker 6: You can go first. You got to think.

1211
00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:53,040
Speaker 2: Marriage has taught me not to go the conventional route.

1212
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:59,120
Speaker 2: It has taught me that if you allow outside factors

1213
00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 2: to influence your marriage, then you would potentially become like

1214
01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:08,840
Speaker 2: all of the marriages. And how many marriages are successful. Yeah, exactly,

1215
01:00:09,040 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 2: So then you have you have went from one hundred

1216
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 2: percent success rate doing it at your own way to

1217
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 2: fifty percent success rate doing it the way others tell

1218
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:16,800
Speaker 2: you to do it.

1219
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:17,439
Speaker 4: That's good.

1220
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,600
Speaker 2: So focusing on just me and him in our marriage

1221
01:00:20,680 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 2: and our problem. As my mama always says, your problems

1222
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:26,600
Speaker 2: start outside the door when you walk out, not in

1223
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 2: the home.

1224
01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:30,360
Speaker 6: So making your homeie talk to She.

1225
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:32,240
Speaker 4: Said, your problems start outside the door.

1226
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 2: She said, you and Dothor's problems start the mini y'all

1227
01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:37,040
Speaker 2: step outside the door.

1228
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:39,479
Speaker 6: Thank my mama.

1229
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 4: Baby, My.

1230
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:45,000
Speaker 2: Mama taught me that.

1231
01:00:45,680 --> 01:00:46,160
Speaker 1: I like that.

1232
01:00:46,400 --> 01:00:47,080
Speaker 4: That's a problem.

1233
01:00:47,800 --> 01:00:49,840
Speaker 2: Your your home is supposed to be your piece. So

1234
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:51,920
Speaker 2: we do everything we can to ensure that our home

1235
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:52,400
Speaker 2: is our peace.

1236
01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:55,400
Speaker 4: That part right there, that's good. That part that's good.

1237
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 7: I love that.

1238
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,000
Speaker 4: Notton what el marriage taught you.

1239
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:01,480
Speaker 6: It's not by being right.

1240
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:08,880
Speaker 3: Any any time you have a conversation. It's not by

1241
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:13,240
Speaker 3: being right. It's about understanding, you know, And I think

1242
01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 3: that got me a long way first two years. Oh

1243
01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:20,320
Speaker 3: my nah, y'all can sleep on the couch if you

1244
01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:24,200
Speaker 3: want to and go through all this disagreement, but like

1245
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:29,360
Speaker 3: really understanding your spouse and actually like stepping outside of

1246
01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:33,440
Speaker 3: yourself the whole masculine way mind, like just stepping outside

1247
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:35,800
Speaker 3: of yourself and actually listen and understanding.

1248
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:38,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know that's good and it's not being right.

1249
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:41,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it said you felt like it took you

1250
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 1: two years to recognize that.

1251
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:43,960
Speaker 4: Oh yeah.

1252
01:01:44,360 --> 01:01:46,280
Speaker 1: At what point was your breaking point to say, you

1253
01:01:46,360 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 1: know what, let me make my marriage the main thing

1254
01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:50,800
Speaker 1: and not me being right the main thing?

1255
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:52,160
Speaker 4: What was it a moment?

1256
01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:54,600
Speaker 6: Yeah? Because seeing her.

1257
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:59,280
Speaker 3: Not like because when she says you're not understanding me,

1258
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:04,280
Speaker 3: or I'm tired of feeling like this because you're not listening.

1259
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 6: It was that turning point where like am I tripping?

1260
01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:11,040
Speaker 4: Like? Am I I am tripping?

1261
01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:12,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, because I shut off.

1262
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:13,800
Speaker 2: I would just be like, I don't really want to

1263
01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:15,440
Speaker 2: talk about it because you're not gonna you're not gonna

1264
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:16,720
Speaker 2: try to understand anyway.

1265
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:19,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, So now we're at the point where Now now

1266
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:23,920
Speaker 3: we're at the point where if there's something that I

1267
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:26,440
Speaker 3: see or something that happens.

1268
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:28,400
Speaker 6: I'm like, hey, but how are you feeling good?

1269
01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 4: Hey?

1270
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:32,360
Speaker 6: You know when you say you do this and don't

1271
01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:34,440
Speaker 6: do that, I'm not mad or anything.

1272
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,240
Speaker 3: I just want to let you know, you know, because

1273
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:39,840
Speaker 3: sometimes we live life and we're not unintentionally not be aware,

1274
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 3: but sometimes it's okay to you know, let your spouse

1275
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:45,200
Speaker 3: wordy instead.

1276
01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:45,560
Speaker 6: Of be holding in.

1277
01:02:46,080 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 3: And then when you get in an argument and now

1278
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:49,760
Speaker 3: you mentioned the mic wave door was open, and then

1279
01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:52,400
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like, yeah.

1280
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:54,560
Speaker 6: Like because it'd be the smallest thing that builds up.

1281
01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just communicating by everything at that moment if

1282
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:00,280
Speaker 3: you can good.

1283
01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:05,400
Speaker 1: Well, here's the part of the podcast where you write

1284
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:06,800
Speaker 1: a key to love.

1285
01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:08,360
Speaker 4: Grab that box there.

1286
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 1: There's a key with a little piece of paper in there.

1287
01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:13,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask y'all to write a key to love

1288
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:16,120
Speaker 1: that y'all want to leave, write one individually and then

1289
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:19,240
Speaker 1: y'all get up and hang it up on the empty hooks.

1290
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:22,400
Speaker 4: So grab a little mark, grab ark.

1291
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:24,040
Speaker 6: This is fancy.

1292
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:26,320
Speaker 4: The key here.

1293
01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:31,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is a note to the both of you. No,

1294
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:33,960
Speaker 1: it's just a note a key to love, period, just right.

1295
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:36,720
Speaker 1: What you would say is almost similar to what y'all share.

1296
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:38,520
Speaker 1: But y'all can share something else. But what is a

1297
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:40,720
Speaker 1: key to love that y'all want to leave? You can

1298
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:42,800
Speaker 1: use that box as something to write on if it's

1299
01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:45,280
Speaker 1: easy for you. Well, do you got beautiful?

1300
01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:47,720
Speaker 4: Right? Actually?

1301
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:47,880
Speaker 6: Right?

1302
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:53,160
Speaker 4: I said, I knew you My woman like nice handwriting. So, Ashley,

1303
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 4: what do you think about this episode?

1304
01:03:55,120 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 5: I thought that this episode was really really rich. Loved

1305
01:04:00,360 --> 01:04:04,360
Speaker 5: hearing how they showed up for each other in sickness.

1306
01:04:05,360 --> 01:04:06,520
Speaker 5: I think that's really powerful.

1307
01:04:06,560 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 1: That was a big surprise to me because I never

1308
01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:10,760
Speaker 1: knew that, you know, I never knew that at all.

1309
01:04:11,040 --> 01:04:14,560
Speaker 1: And you know, I always I knew about the financial stuff.

1310
01:04:14,680 --> 01:04:17,760
Speaker 1: I knew about the good times and the bad times,

1311
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:20,160
Speaker 1: the better for worse moments, but I never knew about

1312
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:23,120
Speaker 1: the sickness and help. There was a moment that Dolta

1313
01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 1: shared in the first time we did the episode, when

1314
01:04:26,680 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 1: we can look at ahol alcoholism as a sickness that

1315
01:04:30,440 --> 01:04:32,920
Speaker 1: I knew about him, and she showed up in his

1316
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:36,480
Speaker 1: life when he was battling alcohol addiction. But to hear

1317
01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:39,760
Speaker 1: him show up in her life when she was dealing with,

1318
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:43,200
Speaker 1: you know, issues of the heart. That really spoke spoke

1319
01:04:43,240 --> 01:04:45,120
Speaker 1: to me. That was prowerful, That was powerful.

1320
01:04:46,040 --> 01:04:46,760
Speaker 4: What did you write?

1321
01:04:47,960 --> 01:04:51,760
Speaker 2: I wrote, always be kind to one another. That's really

1322
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:52,240
Speaker 2: big for me.

1323
01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:55,800
Speaker 4: Why is that so big? Always be kind because.

1324
01:04:55,560 --> 01:04:57,600
Speaker 2: You just never know what your partner is going through.

1325
01:04:57,600 --> 01:04:59,160
Speaker 2: They're not going to always just be able to come

1326
01:04:59,200 --> 01:05:01,520
Speaker 2: out and tell you what's going on. But if you're kind,

1327
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:03,800
Speaker 2: then it opens up the door for vulnerability.

1328
01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:06,240
Speaker 4: Mm hmm, Doughter, what you're right?

1329
01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:11,480
Speaker 3: I wrote, make sure you get some at least four

1330
01:05:11,560 --> 01:05:15,800
Speaker 3: times a week. And why is that important?

1331
01:05:19,160 --> 01:05:21,000
Speaker 6: Love your spouse like you love God?

1332
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:23,960
Speaker 4: Hm? Why is that important?

1333
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:27,520
Speaker 6: I mean you fear God?

1334
01:05:27,720 --> 01:05:27,840
Speaker 9: Right.

1335
01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:29,960
Speaker 4: Some people may be atheist, so they may not ain't

1336
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:30,320
Speaker 4: believe in.

1337
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:34,520
Speaker 6: Well, this is not Hopefully they do. Hopefully they find

1338
01:05:34,560 --> 01:05:36,160
Speaker 6: God and they understand this statement.

1339
01:05:36,360 --> 01:05:43,040
Speaker 4: But little I forgot about those people.

1340
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:48,440
Speaker 1: But you said so it's important because everything that you

1341
01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:52,960
Speaker 1: said today about how to show up for Chanelle always

1342
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:55,200
Speaker 1: went back to God. I always went back to prayer,

1343
01:05:55,400 --> 01:05:57,800
Speaker 1: always went back to I talked to God about this.

1344
01:05:57,920 --> 01:06:01,840
Speaker 4: I talked to God. So your faith is extremely important

1345
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:02,560
Speaker 4: to you? Oh?

1346
01:06:02,720 --> 01:06:05,600
Speaker 1: Yes, Do you feel like your faith is what makes

1347
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:06,480
Speaker 1: you a better husband?

1348
01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:08,120
Speaker 4: Why?

1349
01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:09,560
Speaker 6: I mean?

1350
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:15,480
Speaker 4: Wow? Wow? Because I mean.

1351
01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:23,560
Speaker 3: That's I don't know, that's that's That's a good question, man,

1352
01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:26,000
Speaker 3: that's a really good question. And it's hard to explain

1353
01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:28,920
Speaker 3: it because it's just naturally in me, just who you are,

1354
01:06:29,040 --> 01:06:29,760
Speaker 3: it's just who I am.

1355
01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:32,160
Speaker 6: It's really hard to explain.

1356
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:34,240
Speaker 1: That that just you know, was that important for you?

1357
01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:36,600
Speaker 1: Chanel is to have a man of God? Yes?

1358
01:06:37,200 --> 01:06:38,800
Speaker 4: Very Why was that important to you?

1359
01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:42,320
Speaker 2: Because he has to lead me? And if I'm already

1360
01:06:42,360 --> 01:06:43,840
Speaker 2: believing in God, I don't want to be let astraight.

1361
01:06:43,920 --> 01:06:45,080
Speaker 2: We can't both be in here with.

1362
01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:53,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. All right, well here's the moment. Go ahead and

1363
01:06:53,720 --> 01:06:56,280
Speaker 1: stand up and go hang that on the empty wrongs

1364
01:06:56,320 --> 01:06:56,600
Speaker 1: up there.

1365
01:06:56,920 --> 01:06:58,680
Speaker 2: Okay. Also, you need to get a new couch because

1366
01:06:58,720 --> 01:06:59,800
Speaker 2: this one invokes.

1367
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:05,200
Speaker 4: The yellow couch made you cry.

1368
01:07:09,560 --> 01:07:24,240
Speaker 9: Have a classroom, use the stream.

1369
01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:29,800
Speaker 1: Y'all stand up, stand next to each other. When you'll

1370
01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:31,600
Speaker 1: get by the couch, I'll come to the couch when.

1371
01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:37,280
Speaker 4: Y'all walk up there. See, yeah, you're here. Look at that?

1372
01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:41,960
Speaker 1: See that much different? Well, yeah, because you have an

1373
01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:49,840
Speaker 1: angle so he looked, he looked tall. Yeah, the angle slanted.

1374
01:07:52,080 --> 01:07:56,080
Speaker 1: So may the love y'all share today, outlive the season you're.

1375
01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:59,000
Speaker 5: In, may carry you through the days when words are

1376
01:07:59,080 --> 01:08:02,000
Speaker 5: few and eight has to do the talking. Y'all give

1377
01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:05,160
Speaker 5: it up for the sight, y'all that thank you.

1378
01:08:07,280 --> 01:08:12,360
Speaker 1: Ladarian thrusted suddenly into child protective services in twenty fifteen.

1379
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:17,639
Speaker 1: My nephew, black a boy. The likelihood have been adopted

1380
01:08:17,680 --> 01:08:22,960
Speaker 1: outside of kinship, slim to none? Rmione, sixteen years old,

1381
01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:26,800
Speaker 1: black a boy with five years in the Falster care

1382
01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:28,519
Speaker 1: system before I even knew his name.

1383
01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:33,000
Speaker 4: The likelihood have ever been adopted? Yep, you guessed it.

1384
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:34,639
Speaker 4: Slim to none.

1385
01:08:36,200 --> 01:08:39,160
Speaker 1: While Ladarian and OURMIONI were trying to survive and barely

1386
01:08:39,280 --> 01:08:42,640
Speaker 1: thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded Falster care system, I

1387
01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:46,080
Speaker 1: was living my own life, doing well professionally, having been

1388
01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:48,280
Speaker 1: a single father with a daughter who at that point

1389
01:08:48,400 --> 01:08:50,760
Speaker 1: was doing well in college. It was my time to

1390
01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:57,400
Speaker 1: live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.

1391
01:08:58,360 --> 01:09:01,639
Speaker 1: There are just two many of our Black children stuck

1392
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:05,280
Speaker 1: in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falster care system.

1393
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:09,960
Speaker 1: In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladaria. Fast

1394
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:12,280
Speaker 1: forward to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to this

1395
01:09:12,439 --> 01:09:14,880
Speaker 1: other young king, but I felt God instructed me to

1396
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:18,479
Speaker 1: adopt them also in al bab Starting over with parenting

1397
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:21,360
Speaker 1: should have been enough. Right, Working with various foster care

1398
01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:24,599
Speaker 1: and adoption agencies to help bring awareness to the countless

1399
01:09:24,760 --> 01:09:27,560
Speaker 1: young Black kings and the Falster care system should have

1400
01:09:27,720 --> 01:09:31,560
Speaker 1: decreased my agitation. Right. Joining the board of directors of

1401
01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:35,280
Speaker 1: Advantage of Adoption and organization that helps find permanent adoptive

1402
01:09:35,320 --> 01:09:37,840
Speaker 1: homes for children in false care should have led to

1403
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:39,000
Speaker 1: some type of resolve.

1404
01:09:39,120 --> 01:09:43,479
Speaker 4: Right, No, not at all. None of it felt like

1405
01:09:43,640 --> 01:09:47,360
Speaker 4: I had done enough. I now realized that.

1406
01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:51,400
Speaker 1: Every one of those experiences was land the fundamental foundation

1407
01:09:51,560 --> 01:09:52,599
Speaker 1: for my life's mission.

1408
01:09:53,520 --> 01:09:54,360
Speaker 4: Kingdom Royal.

1409
01:09:55,280 --> 01:09:57,960
Speaker 1: Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art

1410
01:09:58,040 --> 01:10:01,200
Speaker 1: home for foster boys. Our first location will be in

1411
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:04,200
Speaker 1: the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. We will utilize the whole

1412
01:10:04,320 --> 01:10:08,320
Speaker 1: person approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate for

1413
01:10:08,439 --> 01:10:13,040
Speaker 1: themselves and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless options

1414
01:10:13,200 --> 01:10:17,640
Speaker 1: that they thought were impossible. Though the young Kings will

1415
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:20,479
Speaker 1: attend the local public schools that are in proximity the

1416
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:23,960
Speaker 1: King of Royale, our at home curriculum will broaden their

1417
01:10:24,040 --> 01:10:28,000
Speaker 1: worldview through participating in the arts, attending various cultural events,

1418
01:10:28,240 --> 01:10:32,559
Speaker 1: learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events

1419
01:10:32,720 --> 01:10:37,560
Speaker 1: and even relevant historical contexts, Introducing them to gardening and landscaping,

1420
01:10:37,680 --> 01:10:40,920
Speaker 1: and even caring for our animals on our form and

1421
01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:45,400
Speaker 1: on site stables. We just launched our startup capital campaign

1422
01:10:45,680 --> 01:10:47,800
Speaker 1: with the goal of raising two point eight million dollars.

1423
01:10:47,880 --> 01:10:50,320
Speaker 4: Now why two point eight million dollars? Well.

1424
01:10:50,360 --> 01:10:52,680
Speaker 1: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

1425
01:10:52,720 --> 01:10:56,639
Speaker 1: I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

1426
01:10:56,920 --> 01:10:58,960
Speaker 4: One of the most notable successes.

1427
01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:01,719
Speaker 1: Was that one of the videos went I garnering twenty

1428
01:11:01,920 --> 01:11:06,160
Speaker 1: eight million views. However, one of my biggest regrets is

1429
01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:08,479
Speaker 1: that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in

1430
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:12,680
Speaker 1: implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community. So,

1431
01:11:12,840 --> 01:11:16,840
Speaker 1: throughout the years, with much remorse, I reflect and I'm

1432
01:11:16,880 --> 01:11:19,840
Speaker 1: not maximizing that moment I knew if at that time

1433
01:11:20,439 --> 01:11:23,400
Speaker 1: just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar, we

1434
01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:26,880
Speaker 1: would have raised at least two point eight million dollars

1435
01:11:27,080 --> 01:11:29,519
Speaker 1: that could have really established long term support for the

1436
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:33,320
Speaker 1: homeless community, or at least started a long term initiative

1437
01:11:33,360 --> 01:11:33,680
Speaker 1: to do so.

1438
01:11:34,800 --> 01:11:38,839
Speaker 4: This is my do over, This is our new beginning.

1439
01:11:39,040 --> 01:11:42,520
Speaker 1: Together, we can attack this at the route by specifically

1440
01:11:42,680 --> 01:11:47,760
Speaker 1: helping our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented

1441
01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:51,599
Speaker 1: in the American fossil care system. I'm the Terisar Whidfield.

1442
01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:54,960
Speaker 1: I've been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work

1443
01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:57,960
Speaker 1: with the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey.

1444
01:11:58,520 --> 01:12:02,960
Speaker 1: Despite those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly

1445
01:12:03,120 --> 01:12:08,800
Speaker 1: providing the infrastructure for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot

1446
01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:11,080
Speaker 1: com for more details, Crown.

1447
01:12:10,880 --> 01:12:13,839
Speaker 4: A king and make a donation today.

1448
01:12:20,240 --> 01:12:22,639
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future

1449
01:12:22,680 --> 01:12:28,160
Speaker 1: WIFEI podcast. Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently, and

1450
01:12:28,280 --> 01:12:31,160
Speaker 1: don't stop loving. Make sure to subscribe to our Dear

1451
01:12:31,200 --> 01:12:34,320
Speaker 1: Future Wife and YouTube channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts,

1452
01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:38,080
Speaker 1: Little Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher. Be welcome your support simply

1453
01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:40,040
Speaker 1: share our podcasts with your friends and family.