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Speaker 1: Are you the type of woman that when you date

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Speaker 1: somebody you automatically.

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Speaker 2: Assume that's your husband? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Not anymore about you see that for a while.

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Speaker 2: Well to work the podcast, Johanna King, what's going on?

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Speaker 2: What's uh?

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Speaker 3: Thank you for having me?

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Speaker 2: Can we go there?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 1: So you were writing scriptures with this gentleman. Yeah, on

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Speaker 1: the four by fours in the house, on the walls

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Speaker 1: of the house. To the world, it looked like this

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Speaker 1: was your husband fiance.

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Speaker 2: What happened with that relationship?

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Speaker 3: Chaos and destruction? It was bad. I'm gonna pull a

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Speaker 3: La Terras move. Just show the ring next time, don't

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Speaker 3: show the face coin that as lit La Terra's move.

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Speaker 1: When you look back from a discerning spirit, what did

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Speaker 1: you miss?

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Speaker 3: The thing that I was concerned about in the very

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Speaker 3: beginning is what ended our relationship that I ignored, which

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Speaker 3: was what too close with the baby mama. It was

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Speaker 3: my first co parent relationship. I had no idea what

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Speaker 3: to expect. He considered her family. I guess like they

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Speaker 3: had the same door dash account. But I was trying

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Speaker 3: to be understanding with If the understanding.

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Speaker 1: And cease, do you ever look back and say I

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Speaker 1: should have been married by now.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm okay with God's time a because whenever I

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Speaker 3: tried to go ahead of him, it just was horrible.

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Speaker 3: So I've learned to just let him be my matchpaker.

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Speaker 2: So I don't believe in safe say from what?

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Speaker 3: So let me might tell you my tatimony. Before coming

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Speaker 3: to Christ, I had two abortions. I had so much

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Speaker 3: guilt and shame. There was nothing that could take away

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Speaker 3: that shame until I met Jesus.

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Speaker 2: What made you share that story?

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Speaker 3: Because enemy is overcome by the blood of the Lamb

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Speaker 3: and by the word of our testimony.

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Speaker 2: Jesus, God's good y'all. John.

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Speaker 1: Do you tell me you ain't scared to just walk

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Speaker 1: up the total strangers? Why they ineborated and just started

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Speaker 1: challenging them with faith?

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Speaker 3: No, I think the Lord just gave me a type

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Speaker 3: of boldness to do it.

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Speaker 1: How do you reconcile in your mind? Why you haven't

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Speaker 1: met your husband yet?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: I think I may I may have. You're gonna elevate

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Speaker 2: him like that. We're about to do marriage counseling. Good.

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Speaker 3: Hopefully this age as well.

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Speaker 1: The Dear Future WIFEI podcast has global impact Texas. I

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Speaker 1: have been on this journey of healing and self discovery,

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Speaker 1: and this podcast has been a vital part of my process.

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Speaker 3: God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,

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Speaker 3: founding authentic spirituality California. I learned so much as a

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Speaker 3: single man through your podcast and continue to learn so

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Speaker 3: much as now a married man Nigeria.

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Speaker 2: This is just therapy for me.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've been healed, I've been strengthing in my

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Speaker 1: convictions on the still have to do single hoop better

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Speaker 1: Amsterdam way that you've shown us how it is possible

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Speaker 1: for a man to be as intentional as you are

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Speaker 1: New Jersey.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate your vulnerability.

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Speaker 3: I appreciate just being able to see that there is

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Speaker 3: life after divorce to New York.

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Speaker 1: I am a single woman, so these episodes really give

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Speaker 1: me hope and courage that God does have a husband

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Speaker 1: for me discover, uncover and recover love. I'm a Terisaar

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Speaker 1: with you and this is season ten of the Dear

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Speaker 1: Future Wifie Podcast. Welcome to the Dear Future Wifie Podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host of Terra Sarwifield. Listen, are you still

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Speaker 1: shacking up with us? If you're still shacking up with us,

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Speaker 1: can we get a commitment. Hit that subscription button and subscribe.

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Speaker 1: Make sure you're here on your notification bell, she'll be

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Speaker 1: notified about upcoming episodes.

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Speaker 2: Listen, I am so excited.

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Speaker 1: Y'all know that on November the twenty second, I will

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Speaker 1: be exchanging vals with my future wifie. I always think

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Speaker 1: it's a special episode when she's in studios. So she

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Speaker 1: is in the studio and I'm gonna ask Johanna to

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Speaker 1: verify that.

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Speaker 3: So y'all knowing and she's beautiful.

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Speaker 2: What's up?

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Speaker 1: Y'all think that she's a ghost and so she really

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Speaker 1: is in three D. But listen, this episode is gonna

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Speaker 1: be very special. I've been knowing this queen for years,

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Speaker 1: for at least about three years at this point, and

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Speaker 1: I've been watching how radical she has become in her faith,

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Speaker 1: and she lives her faith out loud. And so, without

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Speaker 1: further ado, welcome to their Future WIFEI podcast, My homie

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Speaker 1: Johanna King, what's going on?

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Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 1: People have been dming me for the last two years,

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Speaker 1: keep saying and I always screenshot it and I send

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Speaker 1: it to you and be like somebody that hasn't seen

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Speaker 1: when your video said I need to have you on

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Speaker 1: the podcast. How do you feel when I'll send you

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Speaker 1: a screen shot, a screenshot letting you know that you've

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Speaker 1: caught somebody's attention where they feel like your story is

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Speaker 1: valuable to be told them.

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Speaker 3: The Yellow Couch I thought, I think it feels amazing

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Speaker 3: and I'm so excited that we finally made it happen

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Speaker 3: because I'm like a terrors You're finally gonna like take

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Speaker 3: what they want in consideration.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna get to people with the right. So it's

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Speaker 2: been like what three years, Yeah, I think that this

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Speaker 2: is a time.

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Speaker 1: I think there's a time of You've been very transparent

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Speaker 1: with your journey with me personally, and so we always

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Speaker 1: talk about.

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Speaker 2: Relationships that you get in.

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Speaker 1: You'll hit me up and be like, hey, this is

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Speaker 1: what I'm going through or whatnot. Before we get started,

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Speaker 1: I want to make sure that y'all go hit the

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Speaker 1: Lincoln description and get the book Student of Love. We

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Speaker 1: want to make sure that the pre orders of the

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Speaker 1: book is absolutely amazing, because what that does is less

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Speaker 1: Not only the publisher know that this is a highly

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Speaker 1: anticipated book for some of the big box stores, your Walmarts,

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Speaker 1: your Amazons.

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Speaker 2: It makes them order a lot of.

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Speaker 1: Books so that they can be on hand, because they

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Speaker 1: realize it's a hot item.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: With Student of Love, love isn't about finding the one,

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Speaker 1: It's about becoming the one. So this whole book is

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Speaker 1: not just a book about romance. It's a book about

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Speaker 1: all love relationships that we get the privilege to enjoy.

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Speaker 1: To make sure that we show up holistically and that

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Speaker 1: we value those relationships that we have. So make sure

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Speaker 1: you go click the Lincoln description get Student of Love.

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Speaker 2: I was married, cheated, blocked out of marriage.

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Speaker 1: These eyes have seen the pain of failure but also

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Speaker 1: the possibility of redemption. These years have heard the lies change,

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Speaker 1: but they've also caught the whisper of truth. But Terris,

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Speaker 1: you can learn love on the level you've never known.

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Speaker 1: This finger once carried a val I wasn't ready to honor.

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Speaker 1: Today is empty, but it's unashamed. It's waiting on a

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Speaker 1: covenant I'll protect with wisdom.

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Speaker 2: I'm no expert. I'm just a fellow student.

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Speaker 1: I've sat in Love's classroom, even spent time with detention.

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Speaker 2: But now I live with intention.

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Speaker 1: That's why I wrote Student of Love, because learning love

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Speaker 1: never ends sitting next to me and cheat off of

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Speaker 1: my paper.

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Speaker 2: Cheat tony, God shall use a better word. Let's just

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Speaker 2: cut to the chase.

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Speaker 1: Pre order this book and start the journey on becoming

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Speaker 1: a true student of Love class.

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Speaker 2: It's now in session. So, Yohannah, do you consider yourself

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Speaker 2: a student of love?

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Speaker 3: I do?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 3: Why I feel like being when it comes to love,

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Speaker 3: I feel like, honestly, some type of deliverance needs to

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Speaker 3: take place. Honestly, when it comes to actually becoming married.

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Speaker 3: I feel like during our journey of going through relationships,

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Speaker 3: we can be hurt a lot of times, and oftentimes,

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Speaker 3: if you don't heal from that hurt, you can take

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Speaker 3: it into your next relationship and the enemy can use

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Speaker 3: that to prevent you from stepping into the promises that

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Speaker 3: God has for you. So I definitely feel like I'm

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Speaker 3: a student of love, like healing from things and just

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Speaker 3: being delivered and just walking into everything that God has

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Speaker 3: for me.

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Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, are you comfortable with sharing

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Speaker 1: how old you are?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm thirty three. At what age did you think

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Speaker 2: you would be married? Twenty five?

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Speaker 1: So at twenty five, why do a lot of women

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Speaker 1: say twenty five? About twenty five?

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Speaker 3: I think we've just been programmed believe that.

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Speaker 1: And so you told yourself you was gonna be married

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Speaker 1: at twenty five. Were you in a serious relationship around

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Speaker 1: that time?

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Speaker 2: I don't think so.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't even really a believer, So by that time

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Speaker 3: I got to twenty five, I didn't even really care

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Speaker 3: about marriage or anything really.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So who was the twenty five year old Yohanna

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Speaker 1: party girl?

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Speaker 3: Bottle service girl? He was a bottle service working in nightclubs.

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Speaker 3: It was City, DC, So.

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Speaker 2: He was doing bottle service in DC. So you always

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Speaker 2: lived in DC? Yeah? So when did you give your

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Speaker 2: life to Christ About twenty twenty twenty twenty, so you've

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Speaker 2: been in this thing for just five years. Yeah, so

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Speaker 2: hold on did all right? This is new?

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Speaker 1: So at twenty five to about twenty eight, what was

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Speaker 1: who was Johanna?

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Speaker 2: Back then?

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Speaker 3: I was working in night life. I started off as

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Speaker 3: a bottle service girl. Then I still worked at the nightclub,

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Speaker 3: but I graduated to the Mark getting executive assistant. But

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Speaker 3: I was in the nightclub, date and night Literally that

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Speaker 3: was my whole life. I could go up to any

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Speaker 3: nightclub in DC, go to the front be let in

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Speaker 3: like I My friends called me the mayor of the city.

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Speaker 1: Because you had access to all the night clubs. Yes,

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Speaker 1: so when you go in with some you go all

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Speaker 1: the way in hunt. You don't just be media aga.

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Speaker 3: Yes, so yeah, just go all the way to the

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Speaker 3: top of everything.

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Speaker 1: So and so, one thing that you've been very, very

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Speaker 1: transparent about is if I start off saying that, what.

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Speaker 2: Comes to mind? Am I dating? No about the fact

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Speaker 2: that you've had an abortion? Yes? What made you share

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Speaker 2: that story?

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Speaker 3: Because the enemy is overcome by the blood of the

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Speaker 3: lamb and by the word of our testimony.

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Speaker 2: And what age were you when you went through that?

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Speaker 2: So I actually had two abortions.

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Speaker 3: I don't usually honestly, I don't keep track of the

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Speaker 3: date because I don't like to go there.

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Speaker 2: But it was definitely.

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Speaker 3: One was in like my early twenties, and the other

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Speaker 3: one was like in my later twenties, probably the around twenties.

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Speaker 2: Eat And what made you make that decision?

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Speaker 3: I lived in the world and I believe the lies

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Speaker 3: of the world. The first one, oh, the first one,

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Speaker 3: I was in my senior year of college and it

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Speaker 3: took me forever to graduate, and I just believe, like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I can't have this baby, I'm going to have to

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Speaker 3: drop out of college.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't have had to. Did you have very supportive mom?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just realize like, oh, you're not going to be

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Speaker 3: able to afford the maybe just all the lies that

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Speaker 3: I believe that I was just like, well, I have

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Speaker 3: to have the abortion.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So and then that twenty eight what was that decision?

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Speaker 3: Basically the twenty eight it was honestly more like a

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Speaker 3: friend that I had recently met, and I low ki

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Speaker 3: honestly didn't really know him that well. We only knew

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Speaker 3: each other for like when you live in the world,

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Speaker 3: it's I had this mindset like, oh, if we're friends

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Speaker 3: and if we just vibe, well then yeah that's fine.

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Speaker 3: Not even a kid. But it's just like casual sex

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Speaker 3: was a thing in the world. So I ended up

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Speaker 3: getting pregnant by just a guy that I didn't really

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Speaker 3: know that well, honestly.

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Speaker 1: About a month and then so it wasn't anything intentional, No,

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Speaker 1: and then what did he say when you told him

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Speaker 1: you want to have an abortion?

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Speaker 3: So he lived in the West Coast, I lived on

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Speaker 3: the East Coast, and I was just visiting for a bit,

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Speaker 3: and when I found out that I was pregnant, it

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Speaker 3: was just a dilemma of how do we co parent

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Speaker 3: on different sides of the country. So I ended up

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Speaker 3: going back there to try to figure it out because

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to have another abortion because having abortions

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Speaker 3: are just so traumatizing. But ultimately we couldn't figure out

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Speaker 3: a solution, so we ended up making that decision.

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Speaker 1: And so when you said you went back to the

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Speaker 1: West coast to figure it out, were you trying.

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Speaker 3: To move there or you just We're just trying to

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Speaker 3: talk in person about how to what we should do.

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Speaker 3: Like it wasn't a phone called conversation. It was like

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Speaker 3: a one on one, like face to face, what do

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Speaker 3: we do?

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Speaker 2: And so he agreed to it. To what you have

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Speaker 2: an abortion?

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Speaker 3: Well, eventually it was like a really traumatizing story because

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Speaker 3: after I had the abortion, literally when we walked off

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Speaker 3: the clinic, he was like, I wish you never had

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Speaker 3: the abortion. He was like, I wish you wanted the

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Speaker 3: baby more than ever, and I was like what He

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Speaker 3: never said that, no, So that was just Yeah, it

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Speaker 3: was just chaos, which is why God says don't have

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Speaker 3: sexual set a marriage.

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Speaker 1: And so as you look back on these journeys, was

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Speaker 1: there anybody that you thought while you were in the

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Speaker 1: world that this was your husband. No, because you didn't

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Speaker 1: even think about marriage like that, did you. So in

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Speaker 1: your journey, how do you reconcile in your mind? Why

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Speaker 1: you haven't met your husband yet?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 2: I think I may I may have. Okay, yeah, you

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Speaker 2: know the new guy.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna elevate him like that. You well, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: watch this episode.

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Speaker 2: And watch it.

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Speaker 3: Well, we're considered, we're about to do marriage counseling. Good,

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Speaker 3: so possible, possibly hopefully this age is well.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, why do you think pre matal counselor is important?

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Speaker 2: Because you just.

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Speaker 3: Need you know, the Bible says an abundance of counselors

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Speaker 3: their safety.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah, all right, So so we're gonna talk about them.

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Speaker 1: So we here now, So how do you feel. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna talk about details of them. But how do you

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Speaker 1: feel about this guy?

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Speaker 3: I feel good. I feel like I loved how he

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Speaker 3: loves me. He loves me very well, like the way

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Speaker 3: he loves me. I feel like God assigned him to

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Speaker 3: do that, like I've never had that.

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Speaker 2: Before, Got assigned him to me.

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Speaker 3: I feel like it because it's just so unique and detailed.

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Speaker 2: Are you a hopeful romantic Yeah, I think so.

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Speaker 1: So there was a post that you made earlier this

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Speaker 1: year and you were it was this that was this year, right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Were you writing scriptures on on planks in the house with.

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Speaker 3: This Gentleman's not the plank.

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Speaker 1: On the planks on the on the four by fours

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Speaker 1: in the house, on the walls of the house.

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Speaker 2: That was this year, right, this is here, Okay, so

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Speaker 2: we're gonna go there? Can we go there? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: All right, So you were writing scriptures with this gentleman. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and to the world it looked like this was your

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Speaker 1: husband fiance something like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I respond in your DMS congratulations yeah, And I said,

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Speaker 1: let me know when y'all get engaged, so y'all can

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Speaker 1: come on the yellow cous.

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Speaker 2: Do you remember what you sent me back? I said,

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Speaker 2: we're kind of new, not yet. And then you sent

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Speaker 2: me a picture of what what? Oh the ring? The ring?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you sent me a picture of your ring. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, y'all engaged already, come to the

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Speaker 1: yellow couse. I want y'all on a yellow cap. What

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Speaker 1: happened with that relationship?

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Speaker 3: Chaos and destruction? It was bad? Wait, I sent distruction first,

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Speaker 3: of all I learned never to I'm gonna pull on

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Speaker 3: a terrace move. Just show the ring next time, don't

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Speaker 3: show the face. That's next time. Coin that as little

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Speaker 3: terras move. I'm doing that next time because I'm never

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Speaker 3: showing a face again until the wedding day period.

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Speaker 2: So you usuld call that chaos and destruction. Will help

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Speaker 2: help the people out there. It's a lot of people

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Speaker 2: that are out here dating the Dear Future. Wiphy podcast

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Speaker 2: is a huge platform with a lot of single women

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Speaker 2: with single men, and they're trying to navigate. Is this

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Speaker 2: the one?

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Speaker 1: How do I discern whether that's a person sent by

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Speaker 1: God and somebody sent by the enemy. Looking back hindsight

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Speaker 1: being twenty twenty, you had a guy earlier this year

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Speaker 1: that put a ring on your finger. A few months later,

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Speaker 1: sitting on a yellow couch by yourself, with the hopes

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Speaker 1: that the relationship that you're in right now age as well.

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Speaker 2: I want you to.

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Speaker 1: Look back at Yohanna back in what month was that mark?

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Speaker 2: I think April yet something like that, sure, April.

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Speaker 1: So let's talk about that. When you look back from

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Speaker 1: a discerning spirit, what did you miss?

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Speaker 2: The red flags?

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Speaker 3: The red flags the thing that I was concerned about

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Speaker 3: in the very beginning is what ended our relationship that

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Speaker 3: I ignored, which was what too close with the baby mama?

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Speaker 2: It's way too close? Yes, when you say way too

355
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Speaker 2: close with job close.

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Speaker 3: Unheard of close, like y'all need to get back together close.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So, Yohanna, how did you tackle that issue? What kind

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Speaker 1: of conversation did you have with him about when you

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Speaker 1: start observing that.

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Speaker 2: He's extremely close? So it started off in phases.

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Speaker 3: The first time I had an issue was when she

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Speaker 3: needed a ride to the airport and he decided to

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Speaker 3: take her to the airport.

365
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Speaker 2: Did I tell you that in advance?

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Speaker 3: He kind of skimmed over. He's like, oh, I'm just

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Speaker 3: taking her to the airport. And I was like, whoa, whoa,

368
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Speaker 3: whoa what airport. I'm like, that's just completely inappropriate, Like

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Speaker 3: why are you taking her to the airport? Y'all are

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Speaker 3: in close proximity to each other by yourself, like it

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Speaker 3: was just unheard of from me. I was like, that's weird,

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Speaker 3: and he kind of like didn't even feel that way,

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Speaker 3: but he was like, all right, well, I'll just do

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Speaker 3: it this one time, and after that, I won't do

375
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Speaker 3: it anymore, And I was like, all right, cool, And

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Speaker 3: they had like this close parenting relationship, so I was like, okay, bet,

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Speaker 3: no drama. I'm for that. So like when he was

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Speaker 3: taking her to the airport, we facetimed. I prayed for

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Speaker 3: her that she'd have a safe trap for her. Yes,

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Speaker 3: I pray for her that she had a safe trap.

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Speaker 3: He showed you on the face time with her. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and you pray for her. Yes, she was safe flight back.

383
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Speaker 3: So I'm thinking, all right, I guess we can. This

384
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Speaker 3: is kind of different, but I'm for the no drama.

385
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:34,240
Speaker 3: Was yeah, fine, But after that it just cat got

386
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Speaker 3: a little bit more weird. So then the next time

387
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Speaker 3: it was a resurrection Sunday. I was supposed to be there,

388
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Speaker 3: but I ended up going home. His daughter wanted to

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Speaker 3: cook something for him, but they he ended up going

390
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Speaker 3: to the baby Mama's house and he was there for hours,

391
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Speaker 3: and they were cooking dessert and he'd sent me a

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Speaker 3: plate that the baby Mama cooked for him and he

393
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Speaker 3: was eating and I was like, hmmm, yeah, why are

394
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Speaker 3: you there? And he was there for hours, and I

395
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,280
Speaker 3: didn't want to be a nut because you know, Bible

396
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,840
Speaker 3: talking about the naggy women like better live on the

397
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Speaker 3: corner of roofs in the house with maguum. So I'm

398
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:16,000
Speaker 3: like trying to like not be agitated, but I just

399
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 3: had to keep that in my back pocket for later

400
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,800
Speaker 3: because I'm like, this is inappropriate, Like y'all need to

401
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,320
Speaker 3: get married if y'all have some resurrection Sunday dinners.

402
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,760
Speaker 2: I'm just like, bro, what so.

403
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Speaker 1: Y'all need to get mad resurrections Sunday? Did when you

404
00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:31,760
Speaker 1: would say that to him, what do you say? What

405
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Speaker 1: do you just try to say? How we ain't gotten

406
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Speaker 1: nothing together? We just like what would he say?

407
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,760
Speaker 3: He would just be like, oh, I could never be

408
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Speaker 3: with her, she disrespects me when we were together, or

409
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Speaker 3: she's been with this person. I could never be with

410
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Speaker 3: her after she's been with this guy. Like he just

411
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Speaker 3: made it clear.

412
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Speaker 2: Was just said no, did you believe it? Yeah? And

413
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Speaker 2: did you? So?

414
00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:52,000
Speaker 1: So what do you think the issue? Was it just

415
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,680
Speaker 1: unhealthy boundaries? So you felt like, no, he does not

416
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Speaker 1: want this woman because clearly he's saying that she's not

417
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Speaker 1: the type of woman he would be with long term.

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Speaker 1: But he just there because.

419
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Speaker 2: Of what I don't know, I figure's soul ties.

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Speaker 3: Well he considered he would always be like, well, she's family,

421
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,560
Speaker 3: She's always going to be family. It was my first

422
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,119
Speaker 3: co parenting relationship. I had no idea what to expect.

423
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Speaker 3: I was like, all right, I guess so he considered

424
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Speaker 3: her family.

425
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Speaker 2: I guess.

426
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Speaker 3: Like they had the same door Dash accounts, and it

427
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,840
Speaker 3: was just bizarre. I was trying to be understanding. I

428
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 3: didn't know he said same door Dash account. Yeah, I

429
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 3: was doing door Dash And I was like, why is

430
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,320
Speaker 3: her name on here? So like just stuff like that,

431
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,960
Speaker 3: like they share. It was just crazy to me, But

432
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Speaker 3: I was trying to be understanding.

433
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Speaker 2: And now how did that way did the understand and cease.

434
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Speaker 3: My first esther fast? So okay? So I was feeling

435
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,520
Speaker 3: a little bit shaky about the relationships. I was like, God,

436
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,199
Speaker 3: if you don't want us to be together, like I

437
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,160
Speaker 3: need you to make it so clear, like I can

438
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,919
Speaker 3: break up with him immediately, literally the same day. This

439
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:03,159
Speaker 3: is what happens. Same day. So we shared each other's locations.

440
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 3: So he would go to the house to pick his

441
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 3: daughter up and take her to school.

442
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Speaker 2: So it was.

443
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Speaker 3: Around five o'clock. He was there for like three hours,

444
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,919
Speaker 3: and I was like, that's kind of weird. So I

445
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 3: realized that he left, went to the school and then

446
00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,199
Speaker 3: went back. So I was like, wait a minute, the

447
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:20,160
Speaker 3: daughter wasn't even there.

448
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:23,399
Speaker 2: You were there? Bye bye. Do y'all live in the

449
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 2: same city. No, he lived in Tampa. Yeah.

450
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 3: So I realized he was there like for three hours

451
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:35,159
Speaker 3: just with her. So when I'm trying to figure out

452
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 3: what's going on and then he I'm thinking he's going

453
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 3: to leave after that, but he ends up staying again.

454
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,320
Speaker 3: So he's there for like four hours and I'm like, hey,

455
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:48,800
Speaker 3: everything okay, Like what's going on? And he was like,

456
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 3: so she was a nurse and he was like, oh,

457
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 3: well she has a nurse exam. I'm helping her be

458
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 3: this like dummy patient for her nurse exam. I'm like, oh,

459
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:57,880
Speaker 3: this is the perfect set up.

460
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,920
Speaker 2: For a role playing wifie. I didn't see.

461
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was so bad. So I was like, okay,

462
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,439
Speaker 3: So I was really I was really mad, but I

463
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 3: was gonna wait until it gets home to really get upset.

464
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 3: So I'm trying to be cool.

465
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 2: Chill.

466
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,960
Speaker 3: Six o'clock passes, seven o'clock, passes, eight o'clock fastest, nine

467
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,640
Speaker 3: o'clock fastest, ten o'clock by the time ten o'clock comes,

468
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, no, we got to talk.

469
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 2: And he's been there since what time five?

470
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 3: He's there for five hours.

471
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 1: So you said, But you said he took the kid

472
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 1: to school, so I had to be early in the morning.

473
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:32,359
Speaker 2: No, I thought.

474
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 3: So he was there around like five, He leaves, goes

475
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 3: to the girls' school, and then comes back. So you

476
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 3: say the kid is the kids school, So he was

477
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:49,639
Speaker 3: already there before the kid was there. He it was

478
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 3: just chaos, and he was just watching this. I'm just watching.

479
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:55,160
Speaker 3: I'm like, and this is why you can't get into

480
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 3: relationships with people who got doesn't have for you. Because

481
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,440
Speaker 3: I'm watching his location. I could be doing other kingdom work,

482
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 3: doing other things, but I'm stressed out and freaking out

483
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 3: over this. So by the time t when o'clock comes,

484
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,479
Speaker 3: I'm like, bro, like, I can't be patient anymore. We

485
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:17,920
Speaker 3: need to talk now. So I FaceTime him. He answers

486
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:23,359
Speaker 3: with his shirt off and she's doing nurse things. She's

487
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,919
Speaker 3: like hitting his knee. She has her white coat on,

488
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 3: and I'm like, this is bizarre and like it was

489
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,159
Speaker 3: odd to me, and like I could tell that he

490
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 3: seemed uneasy and she kind of seemed uneasy. She's like, oh,

491
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 3: hey a Hannah, and I was like hey, and he

492
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,159
Speaker 3: was just I was like, all right, I'll call you

493
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:50,679
Speaker 3: later now I said that. I was like, all right,

494
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 3: I guess i'll call you later then, and he was

495
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,639
Speaker 3: like okay. And then I texted him and I was like, hey,

496
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,680
Speaker 3: can you step outside to talk? I really need to

497
00:22:58,680 --> 00:22:59,200
Speaker 3: talk to you.

498
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 2: Pretty much. He like says no.

499
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:08,359
Speaker 3: Essentially, he didn't say nobody sends me like her nurse book,

500
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 3: implying that she's not done. So I was like, okay,

501
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 3: bet So I just sent a breakup text and I

502
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:16,919
Speaker 3: was like, yeah, this is too much for me.

503
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 2: I'm done. And you have prayed that prayer that morning, that.

504
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 3: Same morning, Yes, you prayed that prayer that all of

505
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 3: it happens. And I immediately was able to break out

506
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:31,720
Speaker 3: with him. But he never responded to my breakup text.

507
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 2: He said, I don't received it.

508
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:40,159
Speaker 3: He can never responded to my breakup text. And the

509
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 3: man stayed there overnight and I'm watching his location four am,

510
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 3: five am, six am, seven am, eight am. He's still there.

511
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 2: Mind you.

512
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 3: I'm heartbroken now, Like I'm crying, I'm so upset. I'm like,

513
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 3: bro this man didn't even respond. I'm thinking, be like,

514
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 3: are baby.

515
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 2: Like, hold on, I'm right now, he'd.

516
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 3: No radio silence, and then he finally leaves around eight am.

517
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 3: And after that I just block him. I'm like, bro,

518
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 3: what did he try calling you?

519
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 2: No?

520
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,200
Speaker 3: No, he didn't call me. He didn't try to call me.

521
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 2: He didn't try to text me. He never tried call you.

522
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,400
Speaker 3: After that, after he did maybe like two months later,

523
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 3: two months yes.

524
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 2: Yes, so what he called you? Did you tex me?

525
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:28,399
Speaker 2: So he wasn't blocked anymore?

526
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 3: Well, I was like, I went back to see I was.

527
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,760
Speaker 3: I wanted my iMac to be like did he respond?

528
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 3: Because I don't think I have blocked him my iMac

529
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 3: and I scrolled down. I saw that he like texted

530
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 3: me like two months later at midnight or something talking

531
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,400
Speaker 3: about like, oh, what you did was so impulsive and

532
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 3: he literally gaslight at me and saying like I forgive you,

533
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 3: like you I forgive you? Yeah, because I'm impulsive and

534
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 3: it was just chaotic.

535
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 2: It was so bad. Have you learned?

536
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 1: Like like when somebody says, so, what did you think

537
00:24:58,840 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 1: about that text?

538
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:04,399
Speaker 3: He said it was well I felt like Lot's wife

539
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 3: and I got in trouble for it by God because

540
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,880
Speaker 3: he told me not to look back and he God

541
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 3: healed me from all that, and when I look back

542
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 3: at the text, I had to heal all over again.

543
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

544
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 3: But the things that he said were like really mean, like, oh,

545
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 3: you you're impulsive, like blaming me for me breaking up

546
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 3: with him, and I'm trying to expect, Oh, we're you're

547
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,440
Speaker 3: just gonna get closure. We'll talk about it, be peaceful.

548
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 3: But it just like backfires in my face.

549
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 2: And you internalized it. Yeah, why when?

550
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:39,959
Speaker 1: This is what I want to know because a lot

551
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 1: of times we do that, and so I want to

552
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 1: know why you pray the prayer. You're a woman of faith.

553
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 1: You say, God closed this door. If it ain't supposed

554
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 1: to happen, the door is closed. He makes this so

555
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 1: glaringly obvious that this is not your person. You have

556
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 1: a ring on your finger, and I'm asking you whatever

557
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 1: happened to the ring? So, yeah, a ring on your

558
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 1: finger and then all this takes place, God closed the door.

559
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 1: Or two months later he responds to try to gaslight

560
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 1: you into you're the problem.

561
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 2: You're the one that did this. Where were you at spiritually?

562
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 2: Where you allowed that lie to override God's truth.

563
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 3: I guess I was just in a disobedient place. That's

564
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,440
Speaker 3: what happens. When we're disobedient, you get hurt.

565
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,359
Speaker 1: So are you at a place now that somebody can't

566
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 1: tell you something that goes against the word of God

567
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 1: and what God showed you and you believe them over

568
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 1: who God says you are.

569
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 2: No, you're still not that place.

570
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 1: Oh no, I am okay, got some work to do.

571
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:42,439
Speaker 1: So so you at the place now to where that

572
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,400
Speaker 1: wouldn't work? Yeah, why did you? Why did you refer

573
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:46,640
Speaker 1: to it as Lot's wife?

574
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 3: Because I look back, I wasn't supposed to. I blocked everything,

575
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 3: and then I was curious, did he text me? Did

576
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 3: he ever text me? Instead of relying on the healing

577
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 3: that comes from God, I was trying to get that

578
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:01,200
Speaker 3: closure to heal me, and it was terrible.

579
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,360
Speaker 1: I think you said, somebody free right now, because that's powerful.

580
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: You said, Gosh, that's good. You said, God gave you healing,

581
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 1: He gave you peace. He told you to walk away

582
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,640
Speaker 1: from it. He answered, then you needed him to get

583
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 1: closure from it. Yeah, you needed the quote unquote enemy

584
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: to give you closure for what God has already.

585
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:21,640
Speaker 2: Healed you from.

586
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I had to go right crawling back

587
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:24,360
Speaker 3: to God.

588
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: Lord heal mean, I'm sorry because he broke you again

589
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 1: while you read it, that power broke you again. And

590
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: now you're sitting up here feeling unworthy. Where is that

591
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 1: attached to? What place in your life? Because a lot

592
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:39,439
Speaker 1: of times when we operate as adults and unhealed trauma

593
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:43,120
Speaker 1: and we find those moments where we're easily broken. Can

594
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:44,920
Speaker 1: you go back to a time in your life where

595
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 1: you feel like, gosh, this is a common theme in

596
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 1: my life where you felt like you need a validation

597
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 1: from somebody, from some man, from whatever to make you

598
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 1: feel worthy. Because somebody can look at you and be like,

599
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: she's so confident, she's running around menacing the people. She

600
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: can stand up there and go tote to told with unbelievers. Yeah,

601
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 1: I mean tote to toe as a woman in the streets.

602
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 2: Oh, this is powerful. I just realized this is powerful.

603
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 1: I just understanding what your journey has been in the

604
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: night life. I realize why God uses.

605
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:15,400
Speaker 2: You in the night.

606
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 1: You literally go out now into the streets at nighttime

607
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:21,440
Speaker 1: ministering the people.

608
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,400
Speaker 2: Wow. I never really considered that.

609
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,880
Speaker 1: That is crazy, because I'm just gonna go th little

610
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,360
Speaker 1: festivals early in the daytime, whenever you be out there

611
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 1: in the streets at club hours, ministering to people on

612
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 1: the streets. Yeah, but that's what you used to do

613
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 1: back in the day for the enemy. Now guys says

614
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ahead and go combat to the gates

615
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 1: of hell. That just hit me because I didn't know

616
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 1: that that was your past life in night life.

617
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 2: So that's pretty cool. But is that resonating with you?

618
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 1: Is there any moment in your life where you felt

619
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 1: like you are always looking for approval from guys?

620
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 2: I'm sure there.

621
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,959
Speaker 3: Well, I can't pinpoint it, but there has to be

622
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 3: some somewhere if I uncovered a bit more.

623
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 1: And when you had, so, are you the type of

624
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: woman that when you date somebody you automatically assume that's

625
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: your husband?

626
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, not anymore, but you see that for a while,

627
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 3: he said not anymore.

628
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 2: You just said this year and then this little guy

629
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 2: you're I can't fine. Yes, you're two for two this

630
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 2: year alone.

631
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 1: So with this other guy after you walked away from

632
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 1: that relationship? And uh, what does healing look like for you?

633
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 1: When you said I had, I crawled back to God

634
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: to go get healed again?

635
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 2: What is your healing process?

636
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 3: So that was like probably the biggest heartbreak I've had.

637
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 3: It was an engagement, yeahs faced on social media. Yes,

638
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 3: it was the first time I've ever been engaged to.

639
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 2: So blest his face on.

640
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 3: I didn't, but I was like, Lord, like, I don't

641
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 3: want to sulk for more than three days. I want

642
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 3: you to take this heartbreak away immediately. So I went

643
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 3: on a three day no food or water fast and

644
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 3: I just like stayed in my house, closed the door,

645
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 3: lights off, and just like prayed and cried and did everything.

646
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 3: And he took it away in three days.

647
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you did something very aggressive, Yeah, yeah. And

648
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 1: so what would you say to a woman right now

649
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 1: who may be dealing with that, that's dealing with the

650
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 1: loss of a love that they thought was supposed to

651
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 1: be and they're waiting for that love to return.

652
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 2: What would you say to return? Yeah, it ended, but

653
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 2: they still ain't let go.

654
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 3: You gotta let go or you're going to get hurt.

655
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 3: Just simple as that what the Lord delivered you from.

656
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 3: Don't return back to your vomit. It's foolish.

657
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 2: Return back to your vomit. That's a scripture. Hat it is.

658
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 2: It's like a dog returning back to his vomit.

659
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. And when you look at that, when you look

660
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 1: at your journey of love, why do you feel like

661
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: has anybody ever? I don't know what type of family

662
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 1: system you have, but do you get the common question

663
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 1: as always asked to Christian women.

664
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 2: Why you ain't married yet? All the time? And what

665
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 2: do you say about that? She's not God's timing yet? Yeah,

666
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 2: I can't force it.

667
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 1: Are you okay with that? Are you okay with God's

668
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 1: timing being what it is? And do you ever do

669
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 1: you ever look back and say I should have been

670
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 1: married by now?

671
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,680
Speaker 3: No, I'm okay with God's timing because whenever I tried

672
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 3: to go ahead of him, it just was horrible. So

673
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 3: I've learned to just let him be my match speaker.

674
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 2: With the guy you're dating now, is there a shot clock?

675
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 2: Do you say? Yeah? A shot clock? Do you say? Now?

676
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 1: If you don't propose me by whatever this time is,

677
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 1: then he's wasting my time.

678
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 3: He wants to propose to me. I'm trying to get

679
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 3: him to slow down.

680
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 2: Really, yeah, why do you want them to slow down?

681
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 3: Because he wants to get married in like January February.

682
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 2: Come next here? Yeah, So why you want him to slow down?

683
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 2: Just because? Why not? What do you mean? Why not?

684
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 2: How you gonna slow down an intentional man?

685
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:57,720
Speaker 3: Yeah?

686
00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 2: True?

687
00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 1: So why would you tell you? See what I'm saying,

688
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 1: you said, why not? Why tell him to slow down?

689
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 1: We're gonna play Devil's advocate. So why would you tell

690
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 1: him to slow down? What's wrong with February?

691
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 3: Well, you know my engagement was in nineteen days, my

692
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 3: last one. Yeah, it was nte It was nineteen days

693
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 3: from the day you.

694
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: Met him and to the day. So this is a

695
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 1: total stranger that proposed you in nineteen days. Okay, so

696
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: now we got to go back to that. What made

697
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 1: how did that? How did you meet this guy?

698
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 3: Through a mutual friend on Instagram? She was just like, Oh,

699
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 3: I know this guy. I think y'all would be a

700
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 3: great match. And then the size of my DM while

701
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 3: I was like having like prayers for my future husband,

702
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 3: he said in my DMS, he was like, oh, I

703
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 3: know a guy and I was like, do you? So

704
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 3: that's how we got connected.

705
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 2: I am that guy? Yeah pretty much? And then how

706
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 2: do you propose you in nineteen days?

707
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 3: So I've when I met him for the first time.

708
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 3: I flew to Tampa and the next day he pulled

709
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 3: out nod your first date. Yeah, I first time seeing

710
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 3: each other. So I was like, oh my gosh, this

711
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 3: is like a fairy tale, Like, what the heck?

712
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 2: It was not? It was No, it was a nightmare. Yeah,

713
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 2: fairy tale. Did you What did you do with the rain?

714
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 3: I send it back. God told me to send it

715
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 3: back because I would have sold it, got me a

716
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 3: Louis Bayer or something. You should I know, right, I

717
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 3: should have.

718
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 1: And so and so at the end of the day,

719
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 1: it was nineteen days and you felt like, wow, that's God.

720
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 2: God can do it suddenly in my life. Yeah, what

721
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 2: did your mom say? They were happy, they were excited.

722
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: So everybody was happy. You didn't have nobody say that

723
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: was too soon.

724
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I did have a lot of people to

725
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 3: tell me that was too So I even tell my dad, what's.

726
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 2: Your dad say? I didn't know? You said you didn't

727
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 2: You never told him No.

728
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 3: Things were out of order. It was a lot of

729
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 3: out of order stuff, like he didn't even talk to

730
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 3: my dad. And we were fast, and I was like,

731
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 3: all right, very fast, and this is confirmed, and I'll

732
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 3: tell my dad, Well, you have to talk to him first,

733
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 3: like it was just out of order.

734
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 2: Well, I didn't last that long enough to do yeah, exactly,

735
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 2: So it was just out of order too fast, just

736
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 2: so the whole relationship lasted how long? Maybe three months?

737
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 1: So it happened three months, three months, nineteen days were

738
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,319
Speaker 1: engaged and then the rest of that was after that.

739
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 1: And he still never ever spoke to your dad. It's

740
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 1: just very day and you never told your dad very day.

741
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 3: He found out when I posted the engagement fail on

742
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:32,760
Speaker 3: social media.

743
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 2: That's how he found out. What did he say to you?

744
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 2: He was just like, I'm sorry.

745
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 3: I thought he would have been mad, like howk me

746
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 3: didn't tell me, but he was just like understanding and

747
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 3: said he's sorry about it.

748
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 2: What did your mom say?

749
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 3: Well, my mom was there the whole time when I was,

750
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 3: when the whole thing was, when we were while you

751
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 3: were dadding them, Yeah, sot, Yeah, she talked to on

752
00:34:58,320 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 3: the phone like FaceTime and stuff.

753
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 2: Not in per because I just mean, I mean it foolish. Well,

754
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:08,320
Speaker 2: well no, it's not so much as foolish.

755
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,320
Speaker 1: It's one of those things that where we look at stuff,

756
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: I can understand how we can get caught up in

757
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 1: the faith of That's the thing about it, because I'll

758
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 1: be honest with you, it's been people that's been on

759
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 1: my podcast and said they've gotten engaged in two weeks

760
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:24,440
Speaker 1: and they've been married for thirty years. So it's like,

761
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 1: so those are testimonies that people have. Somebody DM me

762
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 1: about a month ago saying, hey, this is our story

763
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 1: and they've been married for like thirty five years or something,

764
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 1: and I'm going when I heard it, I was like,

765
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,279
Speaker 1: I love them type of miraculous things, and then I

766
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:44,799
Speaker 1: go God. But then also because narcissism is alive and

767
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:48,279
Speaker 1: well you can get that. A woman can hear that

768
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 1: and then get love bombed and be like, oh he

769
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:53,160
Speaker 1: did this, and you're like, nineteen days is amazing, and

770
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:57,320
Speaker 1: then you deal with three years of healing over nineteen

771
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,360
Speaker 1: days of an engagement. And so it's just it's just

772
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 1: tricky like that. I believe God, can I know that

773
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:07,240
Speaker 1: God has but I'm trying to find the nuances of

774
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 1: how do we give proper wisdom so that we can

775
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 1: discern love bombing from God's miraculous hand. Yes, And one

776
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,960
Speaker 1: thing that's resonating with me is the order of it

777
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,240
Speaker 1: the order, because I can propose to somebody in fourteen

778
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: days still in order, Hey, what's your daddy name, what's

779
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 1: your mama name. I'm gonna fly outre I'm gonna go

780
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: talk to them. I'm gonna do all that, which is

781
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 1: what I did with my future wife. I went and

782
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 1: talked to her dad. A dad said, you could have

783
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 1: just talked to me on the phone, he said, But

784
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 1: the fact that he said, you already had my blessing

785
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 1: before you even came to see me, because you booked

786
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 1: a flight to come see me. And I was like wow,

787
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 1: he said, because a man that's intentional like that, Because

788
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 1: what that's what it is, Thank you Holy Spirit. The

789
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 1: people that are not assigned by God will be the

790
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 1: low vibrational version of it, meaning that they're just going

791
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 1: to go do just as little as possible to do it.

792
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,720
Speaker 1: The person that's meant from God is going to always

793
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 1: do stuff in decency, in order, no matter how hard

794
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 1: it is to do it, because it takes a lot

795
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:07,919
Speaker 1: of effort.

796
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 2: To do it.

797
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 1: So love bombing is literally doing something from somebody to

798
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: give the image that is great. So I can sit

799
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 1: there and take you on a trip. You know what,

800
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 1: I'm saying and be like, oh, you know you're gonna

801
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: get fluid out. But at the end of the day,

802
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 1: a man, a guy will say, if we go on

803
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,359
Speaker 1: a trip, I'm gonna get a separate room. So we're

804
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 1: both got two different rooms. Now you're like, hold on,

805
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 1: he took me out and that he's honoring me to

806
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, the man that's going to

807
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 1: propose to you quickly or say, I'm gonna talk to

808
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 1: your mom and talk to your daddy. Do you have accountability?

809
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 1: Let me talk to your pastor. I want to talk

810
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 1: to all these people in these fourteen days so that

811
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:41,360
Speaker 1: they can actually weigh in on it, because what happens

812
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: is when you do it in reverse. Now you've got

813
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:47,320
Speaker 1: to go tell these people, Oh, yeah, I'm engaged. I'm engaged.

814
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,440
Speaker 1: What you mean you're engaged? Yeah, I got engaged two

815
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 1: months ago. Two months ago. You're a member of our church,

816
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 1: like you're my daughter in the ministry. Why would I

817
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 1: know this guy? Oh, we just decided to do this way.

818
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 1: Something that's powerful and and the way the marriage. You

819
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 1: decide to just go do it on your own and talk.

820
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 1: I talked to my pastor, my future wife. You can

821
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 1: tell you'all talked to my pastor. I even talked to

822
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 1: her pastor, and her pastor to even know her name

823
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 1: at the time, you know what I'm saying.

824
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,280
Speaker 2: So I even talked to her pastor.

825
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 1: It's like I just did everything to make sure I

826
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 1: covered all bases so that when the devil tries to

827
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:23,279
Speaker 1: come up with a lie, I'd be like, like, you're

828
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: going to go through a whole team of people. You're

829
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 1: going to go through her mom. You're going to go

830
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 1: through her Daddy're going to go through my mama. You

831
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 1: got to go through my daddy. My mama even said,

832
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:32,440
Speaker 1: all that woman right there gonna let you get away

833
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:34,799
Speaker 1: with nothing. You got your good woman. That woman is

834
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 1: like my mom says exact words. She seems like she's

835
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,720
Speaker 1: already part of our family. But if she was some stranger,

836
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 1: she was somebody that they'd be like, now, who this woman?

837
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 1: What's your name again?

838
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 2: A child? I meet so many women.

839
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 1: I can't keep up with all the women of terarians

840
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 1: bring around, but they know that I don't bring no

841
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 1: women around. My daughter even said that. My daughter even said, like, God,

842
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:59,719
Speaker 1: I've prayed for this type of woman for you but

843
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 1: if she was somebody that they didn't even know, she

844
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 1: couldn't even say that because they wouldt even know who

845
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 1: she is. They'd be like, I keep hearing you talk

846
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:06,280
Speaker 1: about some woman on your podcast.

847
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 2: Who is this woman? When we gonna get a chance

848
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 2: to meet it? It sounds so awkward.

849
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,879
Speaker 1: And so I answered my own question when I said,

850
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 1: how can we discern whether these people are sent by

851
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 1: God to send from the devil? It's the proper protocol

852
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 1: on how we vet and who we let to weigh in.

853
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 1: What you said early, what's the scriptures? You said about

854
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 1: a multitude council.

855
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:30,800
Speaker 2: An abundance of councils. There is safety, there is safety. Gosh,

856
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:31,319
Speaker 2: this is good.

857
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 1: So what you're saying now in this process is at

858
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 1: the beginning of this episode you talked about with the

859
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,720
Speaker 1: guy you're dating. Now you're about to get involved.

860
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 2: In what marriage counseling, marriage counseling.

861
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 1: In marriage counseling, are you in the heart posture that

862
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 1: even if the counselor said this doesn't work, would you

863
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 1: be willing to walk away from it?

864
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:53,240
Speaker 2: Yes? Why?

865
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 3: Because I don't want to. I'm I'm not getting divorced. Ever,

866
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,160
Speaker 3: I'm doing it one time, and so.

867
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 1: You're submitted to the point that if it doesn't work out,

868
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,720
Speaker 1: and you love this guy and it's just you feel

869
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:08,239
Speaker 1: like there's a person assigned by God. No, you never

870
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,719
Speaker 1: said that, right, you don't feel like this. Do you

871
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 1: feel like there's a person that God brought into your life?

872
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:14,439
Speaker 1: You say he loves you, well, but do you believe

873
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: that this is a person ordained by God to be

874
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: your husband?

875
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 3: It's a strong possibility, because I told you.

876
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 2: About the dream that I had, No, I tell it.

877
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,680
Speaker 3: When we were praying and fasting about whether the engagement

878
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:30,320
Speaker 3: is got from God.

879
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:31,440
Speaker 2: Tell the story.

880
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 3: So when the old guy we and I got engaged,

881
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 3: we were praying and fasting to see whether or not

882
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 3: this is something that we should move forward with. And

883
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 3: after the fast, I had a dream that I was

884
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 3: married and it looked like the guy that I'm with now.

885
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 3: So we had a relationship prior, like previously.

886
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 2: How long ago? About a year ago? Okay?

887
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,800
Speaker 3: And I was freaked out because I was not thinking

888
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 3: about him at all. He was done, like we were

889
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,319
Speaker 3: not a thing, and I was like kind of mad

890
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 3: at God. I was like, Lord, what is this? Like

891
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:11,359
Speaker 3: I'm engaged to him? How come, how come I had

892
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,719
Speaker 3: to dream about being married to this guy? This is

893
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 3: bizarre and I was mad and I was like confused.

894
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 2: Did you ever tell that to your fi?

895
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 1: No? Yeah, you know, you told us to go in

896
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 1: the fast, and we decided to go in the fast.

897
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 1: I dreamed I was engaged, I was married to somebody else.

898
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it scared me and I was Yeah, I was

899
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 3: really mad about that, honestly.

900
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 2: So when you ended it with the other guy, you

901
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:38,800
Speaker 2: had no hope that y'all will return.

902
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:45,280
Speaker 3: Well, I considered it would be a possibility when.

903
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 2: When you when you're engaged the other guy.

904
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 3: I'm gonna talk about this.

905
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,839
Speaker 1: So so no, we're gonna be real because if God,

906
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,640
Speaker 1: God can show up as some unlikely circumstances. So you're

907
00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 1: engaged with another guy because you didn't make yourself.

908
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 2: I've had a dream. I didn't know what I'm saying,

909
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 2: so blame it on God.

910
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 1: The reality is, you had a dream, you said we

911
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 1: were going to fast, you were engaged to one guy,

912
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:13,319
Speaker 1: had a dream about being married to the guy that

913
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 1: you ended it with last year, and then what did

914
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 1: you do? You said I was mad with that guy,

915
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:22,240
Speaker 1: and then what so I ended up texting him.

916
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 3: Just because I was just like, hey, I had this dream.

917
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 3: I thought this was super weird. And I was like,

918
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 3: do you think there's anything behind it?

919
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 2: I don't know.

920
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 3: I should never text in him, but I did. Yeah,

921
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:36,799
Speaker 3: so that's what happened.

922
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:37,440
Speaker 2: And so you text him.

923
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 3: He said what he was just like, no, he was

924
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,879
Speaker 3: just like, I think you should just see what's best

925
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,760
Speaker 3: for you. If the relationship, if you guys are not arguing,

926
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 3: if you're good, good terms, He's like, you should go

927
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:52,279
Speaker 3: forward with that. So he was supportive of pushing me

928
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 3: the other way, which.

929
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 1: She was like, okay, and that was your piece. Yeah,

930
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,280
Speaker 1: and then how did it come back around?

931
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 3: After the engagement ended, That's when I reached out and

932
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 3: that's when we're rekindled.

933
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 1: But you see what I'm saying, decency and in order,

934
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 1: I want you to hear that because you can overlook that.

935
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 1: You can overlook the way that he handled it. He's

936
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,600
Speaker 1: told you see a guy that's toxic would say, that's

937
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:20,720
Speaker 1: what's up. That's what I'm saying. You over here dating

938
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 1: this other guy. You're supposed to be with me, you

939
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And then now you're you're conflicted

940
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 1: now you break off the engagement to be with the

941
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 1: other guy and don't know if it's going to be

942
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:35,280
Speaker 1: successful or not. But you could have quote unquote essentially

943
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 1: left your husband because of a dream to go be

944
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:41,439
Speaker 1: with the other guy. That that played with your heart too,

945
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:44,359
Speaker 1: and then now you messed up both situations. But when

946
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 1: it's decency, he just said, go go, go do that.

947
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: That's where we're supposed to be. And are you understanding

948
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:54,799
Speaker 1: what I mean by that? He let you go do

949
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:57,839
Speaker 1: that and then let it naturally end so that when

950
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: God brought it back together or I'll just say, I'm

951
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,240
Speaker 1: gonna put God in it. When it's brought back together,

952
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 1: it's done in decency and order. He didn't go take

953
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:08,839
Speaker 1: somebody's woman. He didn't go take somebody's Beyonce. When when

954
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 1: he when he tells y'all origin, origin story of your relationship,

955
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:14,839
Speaker 1: he and say, well, she was engaged to this other

956
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:16,759
Speaker 1: dude and then I and she called me and I

957
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: was like, should leave that dude. So she broke up

958
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 1: with him and came to me the next day like

959
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:22,080
Speaker 1: that that's tacky. You know what I'm saying.

960
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 2: He said, go over there and be able to you

961
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 2: good and did you look at that as rejection? No,

962
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:37,480
Speaker 2: I was like, oh that's so nice. Sweet. Why you

963
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:43,799
Speaker 2: say it was sweet because it's so selfless? So how

964
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 2: did so after the engagement ended, then you hit them up?

965
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 2: And then what that conversation sounded like?

966
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 3: Then we just see we just talked about if we

967
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:58,919
Speaker 3: should try it again, get back together because I ended

968
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 3: it with him because I didn't think there was any

969
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 3: attraction from you. Yeah, like I wasn't really attracted to him,

970
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 3: Like I thought he was handsome, but I didn't think

971
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,799
Speaker 3: there was any sexual attraction, which is huge for me.

972
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 3: So that's why I ended it. He was doing everything right, Yeah,

973
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 3: he was great. Yeah, this is a real thing. This

974
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 3: is a good conversation here.

975
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 1: It is this woman practicing abstinence says that I have

976
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 1: no sexual attraction to this man that could be my husband.

977
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: So I ended. Yeah what do you think about that?

978
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 1: What have you learned about that? Can sexual attraction be?

979
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 1: Can it grow?

980
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 2: Yeah?

981
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:48,440
Speaker 3: It can grow, and I consider it. Maybe the Lord

982
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,040
Speaker 3: withheld that from me. Maybe I wasn't supposed to you know,

983
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:54,280
Speaker 3: I'm in ministry talking about purity. Maybe I wasn't supposed

984
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:56,360
Speaker 3: to have it at that time. Maybe we were just

985
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 3: supposed to be.

986
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 2: Friends and build something.

987
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so when you when you had that dream,

988
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 1: but when you came back to him and had that conversation,

989
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 1: you came back to him, what still knowing that I

990
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 1: didn't have the sexual.

991
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 2: Attraction, still knew it.

992
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 3: I was like, I guess I can try, but again,

993
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:15,839
Speaker 3: like I knew, I even told him. I was like,

994
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:18,759
Speaker 3: I don't know if there was any sexual attraction. So

995
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,280
Speaker 3: I was still a little unsure.

996
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:23,399
Speaker 2: What did he say?

997
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 3: He was like, that's not a thing. There's no such

998
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:28,399
Speaker 3: thing as no sexual attract He was not about it.

999
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:29,839
Speaker 3: He didn't understand it.

1000
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 1: And so he believes there's no such thing as not

1001
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:35,839
Speaker 1: having sexual attraction or had sexual attraction period.

1002
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:38,839
Speaker 2: Period. I guess I don't know.

1003
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,840
Speaker 3: Well, he just said he didn't think. He didn't understand

1004
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 3: how old is he? Thirty seven?

1005
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 1: And so he says he just don't understand how you

1006
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 1: could feel that that there's no.

1007
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 2: Such thing as that. Yeah, I guess he didn't really

1008
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 2: understand it.

1009
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:56,760
Speaker 1: And so but he's okay. So he was like, clearly

1010
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 1: he didn't care. He's like, you you saying this not

1011
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:03,720
Speaker 1: a big deal to me. We can still move forward.

1012
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,279
Speaker 1: Trying to date. Yeah, and what did you think about that?

1013
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:09,839
Speaker 3: I gave it a shot because I was like, I'm

1014
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 3: tired at dealing with these crazy dudes, Like I want

1015
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:15,759
Speaker 3: someone that's sweet. He was always so sweet to me,

1016
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 3: so it's like, I'll just try it.

1017
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:20,720
Speaker 2: Is the sexual attraction growing?

1018
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1019
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 2: Really? Okay, do you feel that? I don't.

1020
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:28,440
Speaker 1: I don't want you just saying something because you know

1021
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 1: he's gonna watch this and be like, you know, yeah,

1022
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,400
Speaker 1: you know, threw me under the bus. But the reality

1023
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,279
Speaker 1: but that's a real thing though, telling it's real, and

1024
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 1: as Christians, we need to have those conversations because you can.

1025
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 1: I remember my friend and I we did this play

1026
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:46,360
Speaker 1: calls Well I never released it. Bus called being sexually yoked,

1027
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 1: of saying that. We talk about being equally yoked from

1028
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,600
Speaker 1: a spiritual standpoint, but it's people in marriages that are

1029
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 1: struggling because they just don't even want to sleep with

1030
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 1: the person, and then they get mad because the other

1031
00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 1: person step out and sleep with somebody else. But y'all

1032
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: just don't, y'all, we expect somebody dude, you know what

1033
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So that's when you're not even sexually yoke.

1034
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:06,680
Speaker 1: So I believe that that's a conversation that needs to

1035
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:10,920
Speaker 1: be had. But also I believe that it's God's infinite

1036
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: wisdom expelcicily talking about how your past has been, that

1037
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 1: he would present you a husband that you not really

1038
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 1: just trying to jump his bones anyway, that you're sitting

1039
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 1: back and saying, Wow, he can honor my abstinist journey

1040
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,040
Speaker 1: and you don't feel compelled to do it. So y'all

1041
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:30,279
Speaker 1: just chilling that that's why that February date may be

1042
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 1: really great. That the fact that if he's saying I

1043
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 1: want to get married to you or propose you whatever,

1044
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:37,879
Speaker 1: that is that it needs to happen. You know, let

1045
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 1: me ask you that with that date, you think that's

1046
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 1: still early?

1047
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:41,800
Speaker 2: He said, get married or engaged?

1048
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:47,279
Speaker 1: Married married by y'all started talking, When let's go back

1049
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 1: when y'all dated.

1050
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 2: The first time I launch y'all date, it was on

1051
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:50,919
Speaker 2: and off.

1052
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:52,719
Speaker 3: It was always on and off, like we would try

1053
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 3: it and then I would like not be into it,

1054
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 3: and then we would split, so it's just and then

1055
00:48:57,719 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 3: would date someone else and that would go back to

1056
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 3: him because I was hurt and he was always sweet.

1057
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 3: It was always that pattern.

1058
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 1: So he was a clean up man. He was a

1059
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:09,720
Speaker 1: man that you always went to to patch up your heart. Yeah,

1060
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:12,400
Speaker 1: see thee women be savage, tell me women, look at

1061
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:15,360
Speaker 1: this camera. Women, y'all be some savages. Y'all have friend

1062
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 1: zoned y'all's husbands.

1063
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 2: Listen. I say that all the time.

1064
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:22,359
Speaker 1: I always say, Holy Spirit, don't want you to speak

1065
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 1: through me, so that this can resonate with people like

1066
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 1: it's never resonated before. The safety that you found in

1067
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 1: him is what you need in your husband. Yeah, and

1068
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,719
Speaker 1: women will friend zone their husband because they're looking for

1069
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 1: something that may be a toxic trait that they've gotten

1070
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 1: used to early on, and they're seeking that. It's like

1071
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:48,799
Speaker 1: someone getting their first hit of weed or drugs. They

1072
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:52,240
Speaker 1: keep chasing that hit, but they're chasing an addiction instead

1073
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:55,360
Speaker 1: of something that's safe, something that's whole, something that's pure.

1074
00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 2: You just said that.

1075
00:49:56,719 --> 00:50:00,320
Speaker 1: He's so sweet. A lot of women don't speak about

1076
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 1: men like that. He's sweet. He's always there for me.

1077
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 1: He can watch me go date somebody else then come

1078
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 1: back to him and try it again and still be

1079
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 1: sweet and not be like, no, go back over there,

1080
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 1: don't come back here back then you didn't want me.

1081
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:15,680
Speaker 2: Now I'm hot. Now y'all on me. You know what

1082
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:18,160
Speaker 2: I'm saying. He ain't say that, he's not being triggered.

1083
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:21,879
Speaker 1: He's just like Christ does with us when we keep

1084
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 1: running around doing whatever we do. He comes back and says,

1085
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:25,919
Speaker 1: I'm married to the backslider and just come on back.

1086
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:27,879
Speaker 1: I got you. And he be like, all right, that was cool,

1087
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 1: thank you. You go run off again and he says,

1088
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 1: she'll she'll be back. You come right on back. He said,

1089
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 1: come here, I know you hurt. And so when you

1090
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:38,960
Speaker 1: look back at that, you look back and said, he's sweet,

1091
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:43,439
Speaker 1: and you keep frank what what? What made you keep

1092
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 1: going back to him?

1093
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:44,480
Speaker 3: Then?

1094
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:46,680
Speaker 1: Why can't you just why can't you just be your

1095
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 1: consistent homeboy and not be romantic in those often on

1096
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 1: again situations.

1097
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 3: Because it was more than a friendship type of thing.

1098
00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 3: How So, because he'd always talk about marriage. He wanted

1099
00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 3: to get married to me all the time.

1100
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:05,279
Speaker 1: So what do you think when you heard him say that,

1101
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:09,960
Speaker 1: here's a man intentional and you just be like, oh, okay, cool.

1102
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 2: The nineteen day gotto. Yes, the God has been consistent.

1103
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:20,800
Speaker 3: I think for me, what I had to be delivered

1104
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:24,800
Speaker 3: from is being attracted to men with status.

1105
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:30,480
Speaker 2: So the nineteen day guy has status.

1106
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 3: Either status or like, yeah, no, he didn't really have status,

1107
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:42,239
Speaker 3: but he I loved, like entrepreneurial men, those type of

1108
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 3: men like I really loved. But I mean, it's just

1109
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 3: the outward appearance. Like man looks at the out appearance,

1110
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 3: but the lord looks at the heart. So I just

1111
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 3: had to be delivered from the outward and just start

1112
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 3: looking at the heart.

1113
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:02,879
Speaker 1: When you hear people that have last marriages, I've never

1114
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 1: heard anybody on my podcast yet they said, the reason

1115
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:08,840
Speaker 1: why our marriage last fifty years because he was an entrepreneur,

1116
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,440
Speaker 1: The reason why our marriage last fifty years because he

1117
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 1: was fine. The reason why I stayed with this woman

1118
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:17,280
Speaker 1: because boy, her booty was so unique. I just stayed

1119
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 1: married to Huff for thirty five years because that booty.

1120
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 1: No one ever says anything physical. Matter of fact, what

1121
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:26,319
Speaker 1: I've heard that even people that are toxic take those

1122
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: clips and run rapid with them.

1123
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:30,960
Speaker 2: They say, initially I wasn't even attracted to them.

1124
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 1: Initially I wanted a man that looked like this, or

1125
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:36,400
Speaker 1: I wanted a woman look like that, but that person

1126
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:38,720
Speaker 1: and they'll say, I've dated all those type of people

1127
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:42,000
Speaker 1: and never ever got married. But then I decided to

1128
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:45,120
Speaker 1: allow God to choose. And this person was opposite of

1129
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:47,400
Speaker 1: the things that I desired in certain areas, but what

1130
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 1: they possess was something of substance that reflected the heart

1131
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 1: of God.

1132
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 2: And I knew that that was my husband.

1133
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:55,920
Speaker 1: So if we can get delivered from what you said,

1134
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:58,520
Speaker 1: the outward appearance, and I say, you still got to

1135
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 1: be attracted to them, But I have to say, we

1136
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:05,880
Speaker 1: have to discern what we're attracted to, Like are we

1137
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:08,560
Speaker 1: attracted to he got a nice car, he got money,

1138
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:13,319
Speaker 1: she fine? The Bible says beauty is deceptive and charm

1139
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 1: doesn't last. A charum is accept the beauty doesn't last.

1140
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:18,720
Speaker 1: But a woman who fears and reverces God is greatly

1141
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:21,920
Speaker 1: to be praised. So we have to God already gave

1142
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 1: us a cheek code to be like, I know that's

1143
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 1: what you want, it's gonna fade, ain't gonna work out.

1144
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:28,279
Speaker 2: I know that's what you like, ain't gonna work out.

1145
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:33,920
Speaker 1: And the quicker we can reconcile what we realize doesn't

1146
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 1: work out with what God's best is. I think a

1147
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:38,480
Speaker 1: lot of us will be getting married a whole lot.

1148
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 2: Sooner because they got long. Let me go back to

1149
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 2: what year did you meet oh boy, twenty twenty three?

1150
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:54,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, twenty twenty three, All right, praise the Lord, twenty

1151
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:58,760
Speaker 1: twenty three. She met him in twenty twenty three around

1152
00:53:58,760 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 1: what time?

1153
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 2: January February?

1154
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:04,279
Speaker 1: January February, twenty twenty three. And you've delayed all this

1155
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:10,920
Speaker 1: to twenty twenty five to be right back where you started. Yeah,

1156
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 1: how many guys you think you dated between twenty twenty

1157
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 1: three and now?

1158
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 2: Six or seven? Or seven? Six or seven little.

1159
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 1: Six or seven guys wondering if they could possibly be

1160
00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 1: the one only to avoid the gud that was really

1161
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:36,320
Speaker 1: the one that's been the most consistent in all those years,

1162
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:38,879
Speaker 1: two years of consistency.

1163
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 2: What do you think about that, foolish Why.

1164
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:50,120
Speaker 3: You just have to sometimes God has to break you

1165
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:53,879
Speaker 3: into humility and obedience, break you.

1166
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:58,000
Speaker 1: Into humility and obedience. Why do you feel like the

1167
00:54:58,040 --> 00:55:02,799
Speaker 1: Lord had to break you into humility and obedience?

1168
00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:06,799
Speaker 3: Because our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked, and we

1169
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 3: go after our flesh and none of the things of

1170
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:10,680
Speaker 3: the spirit all the time.

1171
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,080
Speaker 1: So that's what this whole learning journey has been for

1172
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 1: you then, huh h? And how has how has the

1173
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 1: guy felt that now you're giving him the opportunity to

1174
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 1: truly love you because you said some powerful things at

1175
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:30,279
Speaker 1: the beginning of this. I have never been loved like

1176
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:30,920
Speaker 1: this before.

1177
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:35,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, during the time where I was about to

1178
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:36,960
Speaker 3: call it off again because I was like, I don't

1179
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:39,480
Speaker 3: know if this is going to work, and he was like, well,

1180
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:40,400
Speaker 3: we're done after this.

1181
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:41,640
Speaker 2: You can't come back anymore.

1182
00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 1: Just like, yeah, brother, don't don't let nobody mismanage you

1183
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 1: don't have you going go get healing because you keep

1184
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 1: being a good man.

1185
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was like, if you want to come back,

1186
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:58,759
Speaker 3: I won't be here and I was like, no, I

1187
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 3: was like, he put his foot down. I don't like that.

1188
00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 3: Put it on again.

1189
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 2: Why was you trying to end at that time?

1190
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:13,120
Speaker 3: The attraction the same thing that I didn't think there

1191
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:15,400
Speaker 3: was any attraction like sexual attraction or anything.

1192
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:19,719
Speaker 1: So so you keep going back to the person that

1193
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:21,399
Speaker 1: you don't have the sexual attraction for.

1194
00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 2: Trying to end it because but yeah, it has grown.

1195
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:29,839
Speaker 2: And yeah, he told you he said't gonna be here

1196
00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:30,319
Speaker 2: next time.

1197
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:32,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that that kind of scared me. I was like, no,

1198
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:34,200
Speaker 3: I do want access to you, like I don't want

1199
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,400
Speaker 3: I don't want to not be able to communicate with

1200
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:40,959
Speaker 3: you anymore. So that kind of like.

1201
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:42,839
Speaker 2: Sober he told you, he told you he wasn't gonna

1202
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:43,239
Speaker 2: talk to you.

1203
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:46,040
Speaker 3: No, he's like we're done, like done, done, done, Like

1204
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:48,400
Speaker 3: I can't go back because he started saying like I

1205
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 3: can't just be this fall back guy anymore.

1206
00:56:52,239 --> 00:56:58,560
Speaker 1: Sounds like Okay, that that that cole you said that

1207
00:56:58,640 --> 00:56:59,120
Speaker 1: sobered you?

1208
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:03,400
Speaker 2: It did? When was that where month was at? Maybe

1209
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 2: youoner July because you was about to end it again.

1210
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:10,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just that pattern I was so used to.

1211
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 1: Listen, Johanna, I thank you for your transparency because a

1212
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 1: lot of women do that, you know what I'm saying,

1213
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 1: And a lot of times we hear men playing with

1214
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:25,440
Speaker 1: women's hearts like that. But there's a lot of women.

1215
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 1: They always say that, you know, there's no good men

1216
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:30,400
Speaker 1: out there. Well, I think some good men are the

1217
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:33,080
Speaker 1: ones that created the minisphere. I believe that they were

1218
00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 1: good men at first, and then they got cheated on,

1219
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:38,080
Speaker 1: they got done wrong, and then they start saying all

1220
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:41,320
Speaker 1: women are blank blank blank feeling the word, they this, this,

1221
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:44,480
Speaker 1: they marry your divorce, you take all your money, they

1222
00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 1: cheat on you, they sleep with your best friend. I

1223
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:48,800
Speaker 1: mean it just come up with the craziest stuff. Yeah,

1224
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 1: but that's they're not making it up. It's what they've lived.

1225
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 1: And so they'll go. Or you have a song like

1226
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 1: Chris Brown said that said, these ages ain't loyal, you

1227
00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And so you start speaking in that,

1228
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:02,680
Speaker 1: singing those songs like that, and then men be like,

1229
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 1: you can't trust no woman. And now you start putting

1230
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:10,040
Speaker 1: that out into people's spirit, and now women are not trustworthy.

1231
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 1: And let them have an encounter with somebody like you

1232
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:14,280
Speaker 1: were in the past, where they'd be.

1233
00:58:14,320 --> 00:58:15,600
Speaker 2: Like, mano, I was a good man.

1234
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:18,439
Speaker 1: This woman I kept telling her, you know, I talked

1235
00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:20,760
Speaker 1: about marriage with her. I really would have married her.

1236
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:22,640
Speaker 1: Then find out she married some other dude for in

1237
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:25,440
Speaker 1: nineteen days or god engaged another dude nineteen days. We

1238
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 1: would have been married by now I'm trying to marry it.

1239
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:29,680
Speaker 1: Now she's like, that's too soon. How she gonna say

1240
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,400
Speaker 1: it's too soon for me to get married in February?

1241
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:33,880
Speaker 1: And I've been knowing her for two years. But the

1242
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:35,840
Speaker 1: guy that knew in nineteen days that wasn't too soon?

1243
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:38,840
Speaker 1: You see how toxic that is. So when you say

1244
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:41,720
Speaker 1: that stuff, have you gotten healed from even that? Because

1245
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:43,760
Speaker 1: at some point you got to pump the brakes and

1246
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 1: let him lead. And I know marriage counsel is gonna

1247
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:48,600
Speaker 1: start helping that. They're they're gonna echo what I'm saying

1248
00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:51,920
Speaker 1: is that at some point, you're trying to control something

1249
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:55,000
Speaker 1: that is healthy, but you have no control over the

1250
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:55,720
Speaker 1: toxic stuff.

1251
00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:59,680
Speaker 2: So when you look back at that, now, do.

1252
00:58:59,720 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 1: You still think, and I mean you know your own

1253
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 1: personal life, do you think that by February or March

1254
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 1: it'd be too soon.

1255
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:09,960
Speaker 2: For y'all to get married? No? I don't think so.

1256
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:10,960
Speaker 2: Why not now?

1257
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:16,080
Speaker 3: Just because we've known each other so well and we've

1258
00:59:16,080 --> 00:59:21,920
Speaker 3: even I just feel like it checks out, like it clears.

1259
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:25,120
Speaker 2: Is he a type of man who's gonna talk to

1260
00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:29,360
Speaker 2: your daddy? He's spoken with my dad already. See what

1261
00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:35,200
Speaker 2: I'm saying. M hm. What did your daddy say about him?

1262
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 2: He likes him? What's your dad lives in DC?

1263
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:42,800
Speaker 1: Also said your whole family lived in DC. Yeah, okay,

1264
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,560
Speaker 1: so he spoke to him. He hasn't got a chance

1265
00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:45,320
Speaker 1: to visit him yet.

1266
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:48,320
Speaker 3: Well, they met well, we had a wedding and they

1267
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:49,440
Speaker 3: communicated at the wedding.

1268
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:52,959
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, what y'all was at a wedding My sister

1269
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:58,680
Speaker 1: got married and he came to the wedding. Yeah, you know,

1270
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 1: I always say that that's the the worst place to

1271
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 1: go on a date with somebody too, if you're not intentional.

1272
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is the worst.

1273
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:10,200
Speaker 1: You do not want to go with your woman to

1274
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,760
Speaker 1: a wedding and you're not planning on getting married to

1275
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 1: her because she experienced that and to be a part

1276
01:00:16,640 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 1: of Like, we went to my sister's wedding and we

1277
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 1: ain't even together no more. And the first thing a

1278
01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 1: person say is I hate that he was at the

1279
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 1: wedding with me at mysel's saying, because that's a memory

1280
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:30,560
Speaker 1: that will last past you know, you know, it just

1281
01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:34,080
Speaker 1: it just lasts past that relationship. So you're like, gosh,

1282
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:36,280
Speaker 1: I took him around the family, met everybody, you know

1283
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, at this wedding, and it's just it's

1284
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:42,560
Speaker 1: just really really toxic when it doesn't work out. And

1285
01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:45,480
Speaker 1: so let's talk real quick before we wrap up about

1286
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 1: this heart posture that you have for ministry going out

1287
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:54,000
Speaker 1: and evangelizing. What has brought that to be what it

1288
01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:56,080
Speaker 1: is right now because you're really ramping that up in

1289
01:00:56,080 --> 01:00:56,680
Speaker 1: the last year.

1290
01:00:57,440 --> 01:00:59,959
Speaker 3: I just feel the Lord called me onto the street

1291
01:01:00,120 --> 01:01:02,640
Speaker 3: since to evangelize it. Just she just pulled me there.

1292
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:06,040
Speaker 3: I couldn't really explain it, but I I love it.

1293
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:08,840
Speaker 3: I'll keep doing it forever, well till the Lord calls

1294
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:11,840
Speaker 3: me home. But and he evangelized with me too.

1295
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:12,280
Speaker 1: What.

1296
01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 3: Yes, he's my evangelism partner. So we actually got an evangelize.

1297
01:01:17,320 --> 01:01:20,240
Speaker 3: We were just in New Orleans and it was his

1298
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:23,720
Speaker 3: idea to go there to Bourbon Street. So that's been

1299
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 3: a blessing too, to have someone to I'll be out

1300
01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:26,960
Speaker 3: on the.

1301
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:32,360
Speaker 2: Street together just yeah, walking up the random people. Just yeah,

1302
01:01:32,640 --> 01:01:34,880
Speaker 2: so you're doing it by yourself at first?

1303
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:38,440
Speaker 3: No, I had a girl with me. No, I always

1304
01:01:38,440 --> 01:01:39,000
Speaker 3: have something with me.

1305
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,520
Speaker 1: But he started so she'd just be standing there. She's

1306
01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:45,200
Speaker 1: not on Yeah, she's not on camera. And so what

1307
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 1: were you scared when you first started doing that?

1308
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:48,560
Speaker 3: No?

1309
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:49,320
Speaker 2: I love it.

1310
01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:51,200
Speaker 1: So you tell them you ain't scared to just walk

1311
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 1: up the total strangers. Why they inebriated and I just

1312
01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:55,880
Speaker 1: didn't start challenging them with faith?

1313
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:58,920
Speaker 2: No, I love it. It's so fun and it's exciting.

1314
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:00,080
Speaker 2: You was never scared to do it?

1315
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:04,400
Speaker 3: It? No, why, I just I think the Lord just

1316
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:06,200
Speaker 3: gave me a type of boldness to do it.

1317
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:10,040
Speaker 1: But you'd be having tough conversation with people, you be

1318
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:15,160
Speaker 1: confronting people who struggle with homosexuality. And so how do

1319
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:18,360
Speaker 1: you what is the process before you do that?

1320
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:20,840
Speaker 3: Praying and fasting? You have to be let by the

1321
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:23,240
Speaker 3: spirit and you have to go in there fasting too,

1322
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:26,919
Speaker 3: because you don't know what you're run into. And that's

1323
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 3: just really it just being led by the spirit.

1324
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 2: Have you ever run into somebody that made you challenge

1325
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:32,360
Speaker 2: your own fate?

1326
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:33,640
Speaker 3: No?

1327
01:02:34,080 --> 01:02:36,200
Speaker 1: Have you ever talked to anybody that gave you a

1328
01:02:36,280 --> 01:02:38,040
Speaker 1: perspective that you didn't have?

1329
01:02:39,400 --> 01:02:45,040
Speaker 2: Nope, My fate is strong, so you don't never waiver. No.

1330
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:47,400
Speaker 1: Have you ever been out there where you ever trying

1331
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:49,080
Speaker 1: to witness somebody and they're trying to holler let you

1332
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 1: and trying to get your phone on and talk to you.

1333
01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:53,440
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I've had that before.

1334
01:02:53,680 --> 01:02:55,320
Speaker 2: And then how's that worked? Have you ever got their

1335
01:02:55,320 --> 01:03:00,400
Speaker 2: phone on? No? Absolutely not. So when you only signment

1336
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:03,440
Speaker 2: you're on assignment, you ain't never sat there and was

1337
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:06,080
Speaker 2: just like all right, they said, let's go grab a coffee,

1338
01:03:06,120 --> 01:03:10,480
Speaker 2: you'd be like, no, definitely not h.

1339
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:18,280
Speaker 1: Man. Whoever this brother is when I say, if he's

1340
01:03:18,320 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 1: the one, I want y'all to go full speed ahead.

1341
01:03:22,840 --> 01:03:24,840
Speaker 2: Because the day.

1342
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:29,000
Speaker 1: I did an episode with and I'm gona be having

1343
01:03:29,120 --> 01:03:31,600
Speaker 1: my friend Cassie on the podcast on who lost her

1344
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:35,360
Speaker 1: husband a few weeks ago, and we don't we don't

1345
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 1: know how many years we get with with that individual.

1346
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:42,160
Speaker 1: I had a friend that I always refer to on

1347
01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:46,080
Speaker 1: the podcast. His name is King Robinson and his real name,

1348
01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:49,920
Speaker 1: first name King, and he got married and his wife

1349
01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:53,800
Speaker 1: died the first year they were married. And to know

1350
01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:56,320
Speaker 1: that he got one year to spend with this person,

1351
01:03:56,720 --> 01:04:01,560
Speaker 1: and how we may be just haphazardly the lang forever

1352
01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:04,640
Speaker 1: with that person, not knowing we could have spent X

1353
01:04:04,640 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 1: amount of years with that person, but because it took

1354
01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:10,160
Speaker 1: us so long, we were minus two years minus three

1355
01:04:10,240 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 1: years minus ten years whatever that is, and say, you know,

1356
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:14,720
Speaker 1: we could have really been.

1357
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:16,800
Speaker 2: Ten years married by now you know what I'm saying.

1358
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:20,200
Speaker 1: And so I always say that we gotta and I

1359
01:04:20,280 --> 01:04:22,600
Speaker 1: talk about that in Student of Love, is that we

1360
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 1: have to manage those relationships well and the ones that's

1361
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:27,400
Speaker 1: not supposed to work out. Man, it's those well, so

1362
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:29,880
Speaker 1: they can end fast, get out of them, and move

1363
01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:31,840
Speaker 1: on to where you're supposed to be. Because if you're

1364
01:04:32,240 --> 01:04:34,480
Speaker 1: entangled and tied up with stuff that ain't supposed to

1365
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:36,920
Speaker 1: work out, you're delaying the person that God has for

1366
01:04:36,960 --> 01:04:38,920
Speaker 1: you because you keep spending the block with stuff that

1367
01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:41,440
Speaker 1: ain't supposed to go there, you know, And so I

1368
01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:44,040
Speaker 1: thank you for your transparency and vulnerability. Anything else you

1369
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:46,200
Speaker 1: want to share before we wrap before we wrap up?

1370
01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:46,959
Speaker 3: Nope?

1371
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:48,920
Speaker 2: You feel like I got all in your business? I

1372
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 2: think so.

1373
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:51,760
Speaker 1: Do you feel comfortable with whatever everything that we shared?

1374
01:04:52,280 --> 01:04:54,680
Speaker 1: You don't feel uncomfortable? You feel like I uncovered you

1375
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:55,200
Speaker 1: or anything.

1376
01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:57,800
Speaker 2: Y'all can't judge me by the blood.

1377
01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:02,040
Speaker 1: Y'all can't judge me because I'm it by the blood. Listen,

1378
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:04,240
Speaker 1: how can we support you? Got anything coming up?

1379
01:05:08,200 --> 01:05:10,400
Speaker 3: Just my social media pages if y'all want to follow

1380
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:11,720
Speaker 3: me there, But nothing crazy.

1381
01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 1: So you don't have any of those Bible studies and

1382
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:15,640
Speaker 1: retreats and stuff coming up?

1383
01:05:16,160 --> 01:05:17,640
Speaker 2: Nothing planned right now? Okay?

1384
01:05:17,640 --> 01:05:20,120
Speaker 1: And how can they get on the sign up for

1385
01:05:20,320 --> 01:05:21,120
Speaker 1: future retreats?

1386
01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:22,600
Speaker 2: Just go to my website.

1387
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 3: God is glamorous dot com or follow me on social

1388
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 3: media's and I'll post something about it.

1389
01:05:26,400 --> 01:05:29,360
Speaker 1: God is Glamorous. Now, before we wrap up, where did

1390
01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:31,600
Speaker 1: you get that? And why did you call your social

1391
01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:33,360
Speaker 1: media page god is Glamorous?

1392
01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:37,760
Speaker 3: Because growing up I didn't really understand why we should

1393
01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:40,960
Speaker 3: follow God. I consider it God boring and like why.

1394
01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:44,800
Speaker 3: But when I knew him finally, I was like, God

1395
01:05:44,880 --> 01:05:47,280
Speaker 3: is amazing, Like he wants the best of us. He's fine,

1396
01:05:47,400 --> 01:05:51,440
Speaker 3: like he wants us to be healthy and wealthy and prosperous.

1397
01:05:51,600 --> 01:05:55,800
Speaker 3: And I just wanted to break down the stereotypes of

1398
01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 3: who God is and show show him for what he

1399
01:05:58,360 --> 01:05:58,920
Speaker 3: really is.

1400
01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:01,800
Speaker 2: Because he's just it's amazing. You said, so God it

1401
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:05,120
Speaker 2: is Lambots. Yeah, y'all give it up for my homie,

1402
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:07,960
Speaker 2: Yo Haunting team, y'all give it up for y'all. Stay

1403
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,160
Speaker 2: tuned to the end for a letter to my future

1404
01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:20,960
Speaker 2: wife writing these love letters.

1405
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:22,280
Speaker 1: You Ladarian thrust it suddenly into child protective services.

1406
01:06:22,280 --> 01:06:26,080
Speaker 2: In twenty fifteen, my nephew, black a.

1407
01:06:26,160 --> 01:06:30,440
Speaker 1: Boy the likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship slim

1408
01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:35,880
Speaker 1: to None Rmione, sixteen years old, black a boy with

1409
01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:38,600
Speaker 1: five years in the Falster care system. Before I even

1410
01:06:38,640 --> 01:06:43,200
Speaker 1: knew his name. The likelihood have ever been adopted Yep,

1411
01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:48,440
Speaker 1: you guessed it, slim to none. While Ladarian and Ourmiani

1412
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:51,560
Speaker 1: were trying to survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated

1413
01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:54,720
Speaker 1: and underfunded Falster care system, I was living my own life,

1414
01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 1: doing well professionally, having been a single father with a

1415
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,280
Speaker 1: daughter who at that point was doing well in coledge.

1416
01:07:00,720 --> 01:07:03,800
Speaker 1: It was my time to live my life right. Wrong.

1417
01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:10,680
Speaker 1: I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated. There are just two many

1418
01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:14,280
Speaker 1: of our black children stuck in ambiguity and in the

1419
01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:17,760
Speaker 1: limbo of the Falter care system. In twenty seventeen, I

1420
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:19,120
Speaker 1: legally adopted.

1421
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:21,760
Speaker 2: My nephew Ladarian. Fast forward to twenty nineteen.

1422
01:07:21,800 --> 01:07:23,960
Speaker 1: I had no ties to this other young king, but

1423
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:26,600
Speaker 1: I felt God instructed me to adopt them. Also on

1424
01:07:26,640 --> 01:07:30,720
Speaker 1: I obabe starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right,

1425
01:07:30,800 --> 01:07:33,520
Speaker 1: Working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help

1426
01:07:33,600 --> 01:07:36,680
Speaker 1: bring awareness to the countless young Black Kings and the

1427
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:41,200
Speaker 1: Falster care system should have decreased my agitation. Right Joining

1428
01:07:41,200 --> 01:07:44,200
Speaker 1: the board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and organization

1429
01:07:44,280 --> 01:07:47,439
Speaker 1: that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in false

1430
01:07:47,600 --> 01:07:49,760
Speaker 1: care should have led to some type of resolve.

1431
01:07:49,840 --> 01:07:54,280
Speaker 2: Right, No, not at all. None of it felt like

1432
01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:55,439
Speaker 2: I had done enough.

1433
01:07:56,480 --> 01:08:00,600
Speaker 1: I now realized that every one of those experiences was

1434
01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:03,360
Speaker 1: land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

1435
01:08:04,280 --> 01:08:05,080
Speaker 2: Kingdom Royal.

1436
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,720
Speaker 1: Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art

1437
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:11,920
Speaker 1: home for foster boys. Our first location will be in

1438
01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:15,000
Speaker 1: the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. We will utilize the whole

1439
01:08:15,040 --> 01:08:19,720
Speaker 1: person approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate for themselves,

1440
01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:24,080
Speaker 1: and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless options that

1441
01:08:24,120 --> 01:08:26,280
Speaker 1: they thought were impossible.

1442
01:08:27,439 --> 01:08:27,599
Speaker 2: Though.

1443
01:08:27,640 --> 01:08:29,840
Speaker 1: The young Kings will attend the local public schools that

1444
01:08:29,880 --> 01:08:33,760
Speaker 1: are in proximity to Kingdom Royal. Our at home curriculum

1445
01:08:33,920 --> 01:08:37,360
Speaker 1: will broaden their worldview through participating in the arts, attending

1446
01:08:37,439 --> 01:08:42,320
Speaker 1: various cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions

1447
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:46,720
Speaker 1: about current events and even relevant historical contexts, Introducing them

1448
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:50,400
Speaker 1: to gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our animals

1449
01:08:50,600 --> 01:08:54,320
Speaker 1: on our form and on site stables. We just launched

1450
01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:57,479
Speaker 1: our startup capital campaign with the goal of raising two

1451
01:08:57,560 --> 01:08:58,599
Speaker 1: point eight million dollars.

1452
01:08:58,600 --> 01:09:01,040
Speaker 2: Now why two point eight million dollars. Well.

1453
01:09:01,080 --> 01:09:03,439
Speaker 1: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

1454
01:09:03,479 --> 01:09:06,880
Speaker 1: I performed random acts of kindness for targeting.

1455
01:09:06,439 --> 01:09:09,479
Speaker 2: The homeless community. One of the most notable successes was

1456
01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:09,880
Speaker 2: that one.

1457
01:09:09,840 --> 01:09:15,200
Speaker 1: Of the videos went viral, garnering twenty eight million views. However,

1458
01:09:15,520 --> 01:09:17,760
Speaker 1: one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise

1459
01:09:17,760 --> 01:09:21,120
Speaker 1: a single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable

1460
01:09:21,160 --> 01:09:25,280
Speaker 1: plan for the homeless community. So throughout the years, with

1461
01:09:25,520 --> 01:09:29,040
Speaker 1: much remorse, I reflect and I'm not maximizing that moment.

1462
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:30,280
Speaker 2: I knew if at that.

1463
01:09:30,360 --> 01:09:33,559
Speaker 1: Time just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar,

1464
01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:37,240
Speaker 1: we would have raised at least two point eight million

1465
01:09:37,280 --> 01:09:40,160
Speaker 1: dollars that could have really established long term support for

1466
01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:43,439
Speaker 1: the homeless community, or at least started a long term

1467
01:09:43,439 --> 01:09:48,080
Speaker 1: initiative to do so. This is my do over, this

1468
01:09:48,240 --> 01:09:51,720
Speaker 1: is our new beginning. Together, we can attack this at

1469
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:55,920
Speaker 1: the root by specifically helping our homeless Black boys, who

1470
01:09:56,080 --> 01:10:00,680
Speaker 1: are already disproportionately represented in the American fossil cares system.

1471
01:10:01,080 --> 01:10:02,320
Speaker 2: I'm the terisar Wickfield.

1472
01:10:02,320 --> 01:10:05,720
Speaker 1: I've been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work

1473
01:10:05,760 --> 01:10:08,719
Speaker 1: with the homeless, as well as my personal adoption Journey.

1474
01:10:09,280 --> 01:10:13,719
Speaker 1: Despite those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly

1475
01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:19,559
Speaker 1: providing the infrastructure for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomwarrial dot

1476
01:10:19,560 --> 01:10:23,200
Speaker 1: com for more details Crown of king and make a

1477
01:10:23,240 --> 01:10:34,360
Speaker 1: donation today. I love the transparency of Johannah. That was

1478
01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:35,839
Speaker 1: absolutely amazing.

1479
01:10:37,680 --> 01:10:37,840
Speaker 2: Man.

1480
01:10:37,880 --> 01:10:39,519
Speaker 1: I can't wait to y'all grab a hold the Student

1481
01:10:39,560 --> 01:10:44,840
Speaker 1: of Love. I'll share later into some episodes. The testimonies

1482
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:49,080
Speaker 1: that even the team of W Publishing had they was

1483
01:10:49,200 --> 01:10:52,599
Speaker 1: reading the books. Their team was like, they have never

1484
01:10:52,680 --> 01:10:56,479
Speaker 1: read anything that touched their hearts that made them be

1485
01:10:56,560 --> 01:10:59,120
Speaker 1: able to apply the lessons that I talk about in

1486
01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:01,640
Speaker 1: the book with their own personal lives. And some of

1487
01:11:01,680 --> 01:11:04,160
Speaker 1: these people have been married twenty plus years and they said,

1488
01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:06,519
Speaker 1: I didn't think that I would get anything out of

1489
01:11:06,520 --> 01:11:08,080
Speaker 1: a relationship book.

1490
01:11:09,360 --> 01:11:10,639
Speaker 2: Though they've been married for years.

1491
01:11:10,680 --> 01:11:13,559
Speaker 1: But they realized the way that I tackle these issues,

1492
01:11:13,600 --> 01:11:15,160
Speaker 1: the way I talk about certain things.

1493
01:11:15,520 --> 01:11:16,040
Speaker 2: They said, it.

1494
01:11:16,439 --> 01:11:20,160
Speaker 1: Just they got a lot, a lot of substance out

1495
01:11:20,160 --> 01:11:22,840
Speaker 1: of it, and so I thank God for that. Here's

1496
01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:24,519
Speaker 1: my favorite part of the podcast where I speak to

1497
01:11:24,560 --> 01:11:27,920
Speaker 1: my future wifey. Dear future Wifey, I can't wait until

1498
01:11:27,960 --> 01:11:30,599
Speaker 1: the world. Here's the journey we had to each other.

1499
01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:35,440
Speaker 1: France to fiance was the mission forever, it is the destination.

1500
01:11:36,040 --> 01:11:38,840
Speaker 1: We were divinely orchestrated in the heavens to meet.

1501
01:11:38,880 --> 01:11:39,439
Speaker 2: When we did.

1502
01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:43,760
Speaker 1: Humility was the path to our engagement. Faith is the

1503
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:48,400
Speaker 1: foundation to marriage. I love you today and forever. Actually,

1504
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:52,320
Speaker 1: I've always have loved you before I've even knew your name.

1505
01:11:53,400 --> 01:11:57,160
Speaker 2: It was always you, your future heavy.

1506
01:11:57,760 --> 01:12:01,000
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Wife podcasts.

1507
01:12:01,040 --> 01:12:06,559
Speaker 1: Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently, and don't stop loving.

1508
01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:09,280
Speaker 1: Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future Wife and

1509
01:12:09,360 --> 01:12:13,160
Speaker 1: YouTube channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify,

1510
01:12:13,240 --> 01:12:13,719
Speaker 1: and Stitcher.

1511
01:12:13,920 --> 01:12:16,800
Speaker 2: Be welcome your support. Simply share our podcasts with your

1512
01:12:16,800 --> 01:12:17,559
Speaker 2: friends and family.