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Speaker 1: How's these dating streets been treating you?

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Speaker 2: Somewhere on the way. It seems like men have stopping.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you.

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Speaker 1: We are alive in the Soto, Texas at DC three

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Speaker 1: in the building. I was watching a video today. This

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Speaker 1: man gives his wife one hundred and fifty thousand dollars

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Speaker 1: for each baby that she has. Y'all clap and see

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Speaker 1: look at you see. Let us straight deliverance. The altar

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Speaker 1: is right here for you. So men look at it

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Speaker 1: and now, oh see, now you want one hundred and

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Speaker 1: fifty thousand dollars.

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Speaker 3: I have three soomes.

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Speaker 1: That's four hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

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Speaker 3: You just hold on every single last one of my pregnancies.

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Speaker 3: I didn't use any medicine and I almost die. It's

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Speaker 3: not a dollar amount, it's just value.

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Speaker 1: So it's not the dollar value you saying, just the

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Speaker 1: acknowledge that you want to push present. Absolutely, Okay, that's fine.

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Speaker 1: I'm just staying. One hundred fift thousand dollars look extreme,

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Speaker 1: Hey man.

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Speaker 3: You've given to yourself. So to even have the mentality

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Speaker 3: that anything you're putting in my hands you're losing, is wrong.

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Speaker 3: Off back. We are in the wrong relationship.

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Speaker 4: If I'm for a child like a vending machine, that's weird.

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Speaker 5: My father didn't get my mother a push present, But

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Speaker 5: did he appreciate her and do something for her? Sure,

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Speaker 5: I'm sure he did. But at the same time, do

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Speaker 5: you want to keep it one hundred in here? Let's

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Speaker 5: go away at one hundred. Sometimes men feel like my

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Speaker 5: money is our money and your money.

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Speaker 4: Is your money. That's a real thing.

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Speaker 6: I think sometimes people get into relationships with this Shack

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Speaker 6: and Kobe perspective. Sometimes folks go into the racers say, man,

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Speaker 6: I ain't changing nothing. I'm as good as to get.

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Speaker 6: I'm the best that there is. Some people say, look,

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Speaker 6: I think that every day I want to love you better.

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Speaker 6: I want to get better as a person myself. But

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Speaker 6: everybody's not willing to do that.

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Speaker 1: In that name a time in your life where you

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Speaker 1: experienced the greatest transition.

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Speaker 3: I'm real skeptical to even saying this all out, But

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Speaker 3: last year I found out I had cancer. I was

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Speaker 3: ready to take a big transition. I was very happy

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Speaker 3: to do so.

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Speaker 1: So you were saying you were ready to go see Jesus.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, it's hard.

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Speaker 1: For people to reconcile. Most of the time you hear

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Speaker 1: people older in age who get to this place of solace,

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Speaker 1: this place of release. How would you do this as

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Speaker 1: young as you are, the Dear Future WIFEI podcast has

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Speaker 1: global impact from Texas.

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Speaker 2: I have been on this journey of healing and self discovery,

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Speaker 2: and this podcast has been a vital part of my process.

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Speaker 7: God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,

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Speaker 7: founding authentic spirituality.

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Speaker 1: California.

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Speaker 8: I learned so much as a single man through your

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Speaker 8: podcast and continue to learn so much as now a

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Speaker 8: married man Nigeria.

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Speaker 3: This is just therapy for me.

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Speaker 7: You know, I've been healed, I've been strengthen in my

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Speaker 7: convictions on the stoo to do single hoopbitsa.

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Speaker 2: Amsterdam way that you've shown us how it is possible

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Speaker 2: for a man to be as intentional as you are

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Speaker 2: New Jersey.

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Speaker 8: I appreciate your vulnerability.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate just being able to see that there is

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Speaker 2: life after divorce.

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Speaker 1: To New York.

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Speaker 2: I am a single woman, so these episodes really give

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Speaker 2: me hope and courage that God.

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Speaker 1: Does have a husband for me discover, uncover and recover love.

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Speaker 1: I'm La Terrasaar Whitfield and this is season ten of

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Speaker 1: the Dear Future WiFi Podcast. I'm thea Terrasaur Wifield. Welcome

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Speaker 1: to a Dear Future Wifie podcast. I'm your host. Are

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Speaker 1: you still shacking up with us? If you're still shacking

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Speaker 1: up with us, can we get a commitment? Come on,

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Speaker 1: hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure you're selling

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Speaker 1: your notification bell so you'll be notified about upcoming episodes.

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Speaker 1: We are live in De Soto, Texas at DC three

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Speaker 1: in the building. We have an amazing episode today. Before

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Speaker 1: we get started, I want to just go around and

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Speaker 1: have everybody introduce yourself, starting from my far right in

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Speaker 1: the back talk King.

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Speaker 4: My name is Tarry Smith. I'm gonna give age.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just give a little bit of background about good

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Speaker 1: thirty seconds.

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Speaker 4: Of who you are.

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Speaker 9: Twenty five years old. I'm from DeSoto, a member here

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Speaker 9: at D been a member here since about two thousand

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Speaker 9: and seven, two thousand and eight. Yeah, So Pastor King

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Speaker 9: is the shepherd over my life and I give him

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Speaker 9: all the honor and Lady Nicole as well.

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Speaker 1: So good, good, give it up from y'all. Ty Reef.

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Speaker 2: Hello, my name is Janika Richard. I am a business

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Speaker 2: owner and I'm a minister. I'm from Dallas, specifically o'cliff

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Speaker 2: right right, Dallas, And that's just a little bit about me.

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Speaker 2: I've been a member of here at DC three since

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Speaker 2: we first started an inception was seventeen years. It's hard

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Speaker 2: to pass to me, but I appreciate that he does.

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Speaker 1: Good. Give it up for Shanika, y'all. What's up?

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Speaker 3: King?

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Speaker 4: What's good? Bro? David Williams.

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Speaker 6: I was on season two of Queen's Court with Will

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Speaker 6: Packard and Lisa Ray and all those folks. I'm also

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Speaker 6: a natives South Downas, Texas. I'm also a two time

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Speaker 6: Engineer of the Year. I'm a take exec published author.

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Speaker 1: And a great run that back you said two times?

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Speaker 4: What again? Two time Engineer the Year?

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Speaker 1: Did y'all hear? Engineer? That means the brother got brains.

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Speaker 1: He says he's smart, he's intelligence. That's what's up?

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Speaker 10: Key?

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Speaker 4: Thank you? Brother?

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Speaker 1: What's up? Brother?

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Speaker 4: Hello? Hello? My name is Rashid Floyd.

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Speaker 5: I was seen on Oprah's Ready to Love Season two.

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Speaker 5: I'm originally from Houston and I am also a luxury

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Speaker 5: automotive specialist and I'm also a podcast host and I'm

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Speaker 5: just happy to be here and I'm a great great dad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, dad, Yes, that's what has him in town right now.

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Speaker 1: Your son is competing and what Yes.

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Speaker 5: He's got an AAU tournament this weekend right here in

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Speaker 5: the area.

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Speaker 4: And things worked out so here I am.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So he called me in he said he was

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Speaker 1: in town, and I was like, I'm gonna put you

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Speaker 1: on a panel. I want you to show up, and

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Speaker 1: so I just drafted him to be on the on

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Speaker 1: the panel of Day because it's an amazing guy that's

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Speaker 1: very vulnerable, and so I love when I hear men

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Speaker 1: that are very transparent and vulnerable. Here's another face that

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Speaker 1: y'all is no stranger. Introduce yourself, queen.

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Speaker 3: How y'all doing. I'm Jessica Reedy. I'm just a comedian.

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Speaker 3: I'm the one who mopped the floors, so please make

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Speaker 3: sure not to scuff him up. I see, y'all, were

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Speaker 3: y'all heels today. I worked really hard and I'm very

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Speaker 3: happy to be here. Latyrs picked me up from the street.

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Speaker 3: I got real nice and dressed up for the occasion.

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Speaker 3: So very happy to be here, thank y'all.

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Speaker 1: And she just so happened is able to sing very

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Speaker 1: very well too. Just so happy to sing very very well,

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Speaker 1: she's annoying songstress. Brother. When I was going to the

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Speaker 1: start from lady.

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Speaker 2: Hey everybody, I'm Nicole King and I am the wife

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Speaker 2: of Pastor King.

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Speaker 3: We love DC three. This is the house, y'all.

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Speaker 2: Y'all rings up DC three DC three. So I am

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Speaker 2: a personal trainer. I'm a group exercise trainer as well.

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Speaker 2: It's right next door in the same shop and center.

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Speaker 2: By the way, I have three children. I'm fifty years old.

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Speaker 2: I just recently finished my master's right before I turned fifty.

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Speaker 2: I was really excited about that, and I just love serving.

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Speaker 2: Weight loss is my passion. Working out and fitness is

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Speaker 2: my passion and my heart over here and my children.

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Speaker 4: What's it?

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, the shepherd of the house, my brother, Pastor

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Speaker 1: Marcus King. Give it up for him before even starts speaking,

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Speaker 1: give it up for this brother. Yeah, I give it

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Speaker 1: up for I love this dude. I've been knowing this

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Speaker 1: dude for years. I mean how long we known each other?

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Speaker 1: About me?

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Speaker 11: I was trying to think back, what was it one

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Speaker 11: of your one of your earlier players.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I think it's about fifteen years or something.

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Speaker 1: We've known each other, is what I started. Oh, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so this's seventeen here.

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Speaker 11: About twenty. Realize that y'all give it up for the

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Speaker 11: Terrence Whitfield. That's what you've given up for. He been

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Speaker 11: doing this stuff for years and he didn't just come

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Speaker 11: on the scene. He been doing this and so we're

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Speaker 11: grateful to have you here today. Man, I'm just her husband,

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Speaker 11: that's all I am. I'm the janitor here and I'm

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Speaker 11: just we're just glad to have y'all here. So you've

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Speaker 11: seen that. I'm ready to get along with the show.

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Speaker 11: So y'all want to know something about me, make sure

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Speaker 11: you get some books tonight, that's what that's first thing

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Speaker 11: until you get my book tonight and my book coming out.

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Speaker 11: I have a book coming out on prayer called The Audacity,

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Speaker 11: and so we want to make sure we're talking more

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Speaker 11: about that later on.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, well we'll get that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna get all of your business today. So

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Speaker 1: get ready. We're gonna have fun. All right, So let's

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Speaker 1: let's let's just jump on one of the Let me

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Speaker 1: ask y'all who y'all want me to start with?

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Speaker 12: First?

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Speaker 1: Who y'all want to whome name? Who y'all want me

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Speaker 1: to talk talk to Jessica. David, y'all said, David, Jessica.

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Speaker 1: David raised your hand, all right. Jessica raised your hand,

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Speaker 1: all right. So here we go, Jessica. We've been talking

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Speaker 1: to you, Jessica. So, Jessica, this weekend is titled Transitions.

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Speaker 1: When you hear the word transitions, what comes to mind

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Speaker 1: when you think about your own personal life, name a

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Speaker 1: time in your life where you experienced the greatest transition.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well, this year I and y'all about to go ooh,

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Speaker 3: and I'm real skeptical to even saying this all loud,

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Speaker 3: but last year I found out I had cancer, and

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Speaker 3: so this year, I, you know, went out of town

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Speaker 3: and had an amazing experience, and it transitioned my mind

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Speaker 3: from the value of time and how willingly I was

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Speaker 3: ready to take a big transition. I was very happy

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Speaker 3: to do so, and God giving me an opportunity to

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Speaker 3: stick around. It made me very press I was always present.

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Speaker 3: I enjoy talking to people, but it grounds me down.

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Speaker 3: I realized I don't have limits. I can get whatever

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Speaker 3: I want. There's no place I can't go. I truly

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Speaker 3: believe with all my heart every room is mine. I

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Speaker 3: belong there, I find my place, and everyone else has

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Speaker 3: to adjust. That's how I feel about it. And because

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Speaker 3: I like me now, I like me. I like everything

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Speaker 3: about me. I like my flaws. I mean, I really

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Speaker 3: like me, you know, And that took a long time

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Speaker 3: to get that. I really like me. I think I'm cool.

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Speaker 3: I don't know when y'all are experiencing me. I need

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Speaker 3: a Yelp review because I just I think I'm dope.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, that's what comes to mind me.

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Speaker 1: So, Jessica, you touched on this. You said you were

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Speaker 1: ready to transition. So you were saying and you were

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Speaker 1: ready to go see Jesus absolutely why it's hard for

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Speaker 1: people to reconcile. Most of the time you hear people

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Speaker 1: older in age who get to this place of solace,

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Speaker 1: this place of release. How would you do this as

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Speaker 1: young as you are?

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Speaker 3: Thank you so much. As you can see, I'm still

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Speaker 3: in my twenties. The truth is I've lived many lives.

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Speaker 3: God has used me to do a lot of amazing things.

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Speaker 3: For me, I had made my contribution, Like you know,

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Speaker 3: people smile, people are happy the music I've put out,

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Speaker 3: whether it helped one or two or five or five

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Speaker 3: thousand or five million, you know, we in the millions,

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Speaker 3: but I would what else can I do?

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Speaker 1: But you got these beautiful.

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Speaker 3: Sons, right. I'm an amazing mother, right, And because of

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Speaker 3: how I raised my children, I've raised my children to

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Speaker 3: be independent. I've raised my children to understand life and

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Speaker 3: how amazing it is to go to a place where

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Speaker 3: there's peace. The Bible says to cry when babies are

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Speaker 3: born and to rejoice when you die. So, however, we

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Speaker 3: program to each his own. But when you finally understand

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Speaker 3: that life is about making sure other people know light

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Speaker 3: and love and Jesus, what else I'm holding on to?

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Speaker 3: You know, if it's time, it's time, I'm gonna have

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Speaker 3: a huge smile on my face. I have made a

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Speaker 3: great contribution. Okay, it wasn't time, So okay, God, what

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Speaker 3: else you want me to do? Because now, if you

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Speaker 3: thought I was a problem, then you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't no problem. You know, easygoing, I'm a problem.

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Speaker 3: No Lord, Yeah, it didn't come as a challenge. My

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Speaker 3: tears were for my children, my oldest, he was hurt

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Speaker 3: by it. My oldest said some things that made me say, okay, cool,

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Speaker 3: I'll go and figure out I'm not doing chemo. I said,

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Speaker 3: but if there's something natural, I'll go do it. I'll

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Speaker 3: find it out. That's the only reason y'all't looking at me,

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Speaker 3: Cause right now I was okay, I was one thousand. Okay,

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Speaker 3: Please don't have no pity. I can't stand that emotion.

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Speaker 3: Know that we do what we're supposed to do, especially

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Speaker 3: if you love God with grace and with honor. I

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Speaker 3: get the opportunity to serve God's people. That's the biggest

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Speaker 3: thing I could have ever done, and I'm very pleased.

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Speaker 3: I'm happy about it.

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Speaker 1: Well, can we just give God some praise because she's

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Speaker 1: still a monkst the living. Give God some praise all

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Speaker 1: over this place. Yeah, I was hard watching her on

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Speaker 1: social media. She always smiled when she was in Bali,

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Speaker 1: and she was just smiling, and I was like, gosh,

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Speaker 1: to know that she's going through this, and I always

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Speaker 1: kept this beautiful smile on her face. Was encouraging to

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Speaker 1: just watch. But uh, I wasn't ready to let go

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Speaker 1: of you just yet, So I did you to this.

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Speaker 3: Is what a regulatorians is not kind to me and

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Speaker 3: and you know, when you want to know, this is

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Speaker 3: how the funeral would have sound. But he's not actually

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Speaker 3: nice to me. I'm serious, he shurely. I'm that balloon

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Speaker 3: thing that stand outside and do like this. That's the

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Speaker 3: only reason I want the stage right now. He knew

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Speaker 3: I cracked some jokes, he using me, and I wanted

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Speaker 3: to say that just in case people up here was boring.

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Speaker 3: I'm here to just fill in gaps. That's the only

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Speaker 3: reason I'm here. That's it. But go ahead say what

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Speaker 3: you're gonna say. I'm listening.

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Speaker 8: Give me my flowers.

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Speaker 1: So I would have missed Jessica if she was gone.

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Speaker 1: I would have missed her. That is my buddy. I

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Speaker 1: love her. And so I'm glad that you're still amongst living.

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Speaker 1: And yes, you are right. I did bring you in

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Speaker 1: here to crack jokes and that crazy and maybe sing

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Speaker 1: a song at the end of this podcast. Amen. Amen, Amen, David.

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Speaker 1: You're a single man. How optimistic are you in these

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Speaker 1: dating streets? When you're dating? Let me ask you, do

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Speaker 1: you date?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And so as you are dating people, are you optimistic

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Speaker 1: when you when you let me ask you, do you

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Speaker 1: desire marriage?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Okay? And so sound a little skeptical, didn't he? He said?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, little hesitation. No, we've had this conversation. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 6: I want to be married, so you want to be married.

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Speaker 4: So conditions now it's conditions.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we know, it's conditions, and so you desire marriage.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel optimistic as you are dating people? Do

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Speaker 1: you feel like that person is out there? Or have

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Speaker 1: you gotten weary and you're well doing?

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 6: I do believe that a person is out there for me. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Sure.

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Speaker 1: How long will it take if you met said person?

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Speaker 1: How long would you have to date her in order

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Speaker 1: for you to put a ring on her finger?

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Speaker 6: One second? You know, man, that's not a number, right. Look,

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Speaker 6: I think it could happen within less than two years,

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Speaker 6: probably less than I don't know, a couple of years.

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna put around two man, I'm gonna put around too.

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Speaker 6: I mean, look, it's it's it's difficult to understand people today.

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Speaker 6: There's a lot of personas that people have. There's a

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Speaker 6: lot of things that people bring, whether it's trauma, baggage.

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Speaker 6: Some people want to hold onto those things and keep

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Speaker 6: talking about the past. Life is a needle on the record.

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Speaker 6: We got to keep going. You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 6: Everybody's not there. I just want My request is simple.

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Speaker 6: I'll ask that someone reciprocate incredible only.

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Speaker 4: Now that's yeah, unpacked that unpacked that David. Okay, so

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 6: I like to use basketball terms, but I'm not gonna

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Speaker 6: do that this I'll do it, Okay, all right. So look,

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Speaker 6: so you got shacking Kobe right, Yeah, okay, I gotta

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Speaker 6: go here one time. Man, Look, Shack was like, Kobe's like,

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Speaker 6: I want to practice all day every day. Shack like, man,

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Speaker 6: I'm not doing all that practice, bro, you know what

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Speaker 6: I'm saying. Kobe's like, look, everybody can get better in shocks,

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Speaker 6: like I'm the best.

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Speaker 4: I think.

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Speaker 6: Sometimes people get into relationships with this Shack and Kobe perspective.

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Speaker 6: Sometimes folks go into the races say, man, I ain't

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Speaker 6: changing nothing. I'm as good as it gets. I'm the

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Speaker 6: best that there is. Some people say, look, I think

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Speaker 6: that every day I want to love you better. I

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Speaker 6: want to get better as a person myself. I don't

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Speaker 6: want the first date to out to be the first

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Speaker 6: year that where we're together, be better in the second

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Speaker 6: year or the third. You know, it should get better,

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Speaker 6: not worse. Right, Okay, Yes, Well, if you Shack and

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Speaker 6: you breaking all the goals around here and be ya, okay,

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Speaker 6: then you' doing what you're doing. Okay, Then we're gonna

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Speaker 6: go with three championships together. The life gonna be great. Man,

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Speaker 6: We're going into the Hall of Fame. But if you

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Speaker 6: didn't come with all that talent and skill, all that

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Speaker 6: stuff that you developed that does run the whole NBA

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Speaker 6: like shack, If that's not who you are, then every

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Speaker 6: day should be a little bit of developer. And I'm

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Speaker 6: not afraid to say, look, I stuff, I need to

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Speaker 6: get better at this stuff. We all need to get

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Speaker 6: better at. But everybody's not willing to do that.

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Speaker 4: In that thing.

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Speaker 6: A lot of times people be like, I don't want

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Speaker 6: to change, and change me. Okay, well I guess I

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Speaker 6: got to go.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I'm not.

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Speaker 6: Asking for anything that I don't want to give. My

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Speaker 6: whole point is reciprocate incredible only let's leave that mediocre.

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Speaker 4: You know, after that, he.

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Speaker 1: Donet redeemed himself, didn't it? He said two years? He

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Speaker 1: sain't gonna wait too. Let me ask you all that.

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Speaker 1: Let me pull the audience. How many y'all wait two

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Speaker 1: years for a man to put a ring on your finger?

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Speaker 1: Anybody anybody's okay, let me get what's the right number.

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Speaker 4: Then what's the right number?

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Speaker 1: I ain't the right it's your number. Okay, then it's

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Speaker 1: your number. It's checking, that's check it. But shouldn't take

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Speaker 1: two years anyway, So how you know what?

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Speaker 4: Honestly, honestly, it may not even take two years. I'm I'm, I'm, I'm.

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Speaker 4: I'm working off of data from the past.

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Speaker 1: He said that I got your engineer and everything.

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Speaker 6: Honestly, I'm just saying it may not take two years.

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Speaker 6: If somebody's reciprocating, incredible, I'm not gonna it. Don't take

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Speaker 6: a whole day to recognize sunshine. It's just that everybody's

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Speaker 6: not gonna do that.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about her. I'm talking about the one. I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about the one.

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Speaker 6: I mean, if you're talking to like that, if we

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Speaker 6: don't just go ahead and put the Disney glasses on. Look, man,

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Speaker 6: I still believe in love at first sight.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but do you believe in proposal at first sight?

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Speaker 4: I mean she putting the ring on me. We're talking about.

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Speaker 6: I'm saying, we can't have a conversation, we can't talk,

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Speaker 6: fight or nothing.

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Speaker 4: It's gonna run.

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, how many musks because you said two years.

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Speaker 6: Hey, look if if she's her, okay, she's her, she's incredible,

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Speaker 6: she's incredible. It's not gonna take it's not gonna recredible

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Speaker 6: only incredible only. It's not gonna take two years. No,

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Speaker 6: it's gonna take probably several months to be Like, look,

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Speaker 6: while we're playing, while we're.

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Speaker 1: Playing, so you would say while we're playing, while we're playing. Good,

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Speaker 1: all right, So if you met what you're looking for,

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Speaker 1: because I'm telling you reason why.

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Speaker 6: I date in Dallas, So I haven't you know, I'm

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Speaker 6: just saying, you know it. You know it's I don't know,

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Speaker 6: it's I love it. You know you're you're kind of

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Speaker 6: in Disney right now with this. You know, you know,

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Speaker 6: I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: You say you think? So what is Dayton, Dallas? Gotta

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Speaker 1: do it?

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Speaker 6: I mean, I'm just saying it. In the real world,

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Speaker 6: I'm just saying I haven't ran an incredible yet.

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Speaker 4: Brother.

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Speaker 6: You know she here, You give me the number, you

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Speaker 6: got my number, pass it on. I'm not on tender Bumble,

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Speaker 6: I'm not on the app. So you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 6: I'm missing it.

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Speaker 1: He said, if you hear, give me your number.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean if you if you know her me.

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Speaker 1: No, I will. I'll give you the layer.

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Speaker 4: I'm not bull. I'm not on bumping fishing.

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Speaker 1: I give you a layup out. Let me ask you

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Speaker 1: all this. I want to ask the women out there.

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Speaker 1: How many y'all will wait? How many y'all with data

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Speaker 1: guy for two years before expecting areen? How many y'all

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Speaker 1: raise your hand? So it's a lot of y'all. So

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Speaker 1: let's let's let's pull it from this standpoint. If you're

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Speaker 1: under the age of thirty and you will wait two years,

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Speaker 1: raise your hand, you all right? If you're under the age,

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Speaker 1: if you're between thirty and forty and you will still

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Speaker 1: wait two years, raise your hand?

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Speaker 12: All right?

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Speaker 1: One one person over there? If you if you over

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Speaker 1: forty and you will wait two years, raise your hand.

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Speaker 4: And now.

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Speaker 6: Kids, now we're not talking about outside kids into two years?

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Speaker 4: Ain't is it?

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Speaker 6: Outside kids? I said, we're not talking about that. Now,

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Speaker 6: we ain't talking about outside kids.

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Speaker 1: How the kids get into the equations.

436
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 6: I'm just saying, you acting like the two years, it's

437
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 6: like we're dealing with some drum in the middle of it.

438
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,440
Speaker 6: I'm just saying, I say, no drum, I'm talking about

439
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,960
Speaker 6: healthy love, healthy baby.

440
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,240
Speaker 1: You never had a baby on the n right? All right?

441
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:04,879
Speaker 1: Come wrong, come testimony. Got something you want to say

442
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:05,440
Speaker 1: the testimony.

443
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:10,160
Speaker 4: Brother, I'm just saying you over here, like yeah, I'm testimony.

444
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,919
Speaker 1: I'm saying you met a woman that you liked and

445
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 1: you started dating her exclusively for two years. You will

446
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:21,200
Speaker 1: wait two years with exclusivity before you decided to put

447
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 1: a ring on it. It will take you two years

448
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 1: to figure out if you want to spend forever with

449
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 1: this person.

450
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,440
Speaker 6: Man, not an incredible person. Brother, It's gonna take some time.

451
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,439
Speaker 6: If y'all going through issues. You know, y'all going through

452
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 6: bumps in the road and it's all kind of weird stuff.

453
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,640
Speaker 6: But no, if you run into somebody incredible, man, I mean,

454
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 6: like I said, I believe in love at first sight.

455
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 6: It's just as in life, you go through issues, somebody.

456
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:41,640
Speaker 4: Gonna assume this. Somebody gonn judge.

457
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 6: It's somebody gonna you know, somebody family know they got

458
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,240
Speaker 6: this kid, somebody other baby. You know, there's all these

459
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,440
Speaker 6: other things that getting a big.

460
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:50,959
Speaker 1: Kids keep coming up from David Worthy's kids popping up

461
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 1: and the car. What have you been dealing with?

462
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 4: My brother?

463
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 1: So you so hold on.

464
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 4: One second, one second, one second, one second.

465
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 1: You'll be da.

466
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,639
Speaker 6: All these people in here don't have no But you

467
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,239
Speaker 6: said the kids like they popping up.

468
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,440
Speaker 1: You done met him. Hope, if you met them, you

469
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,239
Speaker 1: know they got kids, you start finding out about them

470
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 1: in year one, you'd be like, oh, I know you

471
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:14,680
Speaker 1: had three other kids. He said, My brother needs So

472
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:19,160
Speaker 1: that's what you mean. My brother traumatized out here? Good lord,

473
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,119
Speaker 1: he said, you found out about the kids. What I

474
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: found out in raising was something that I didn't expect.

475
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 1: Around the forty agent up, most of y'all raised y'all hand,

476
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 1: that y'all would give it longer time, which is something different.

477
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 1: I asked, y'all more y'all raised y'all hand than the

478
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:42,200
Speaker 1: forty above, that y'all would wait two years. That is interesting.

479
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 1: Did y'all realize y'all did that? So y'all more cautious,

480
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:53,879
Speaker 1: y'all more? Uh huh, yep, I believe it. All right,

481
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 1: We're cool. I'm gonna ask when we do a Q

482
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 1: and A. I want to unpack that because typically the

483
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 1: older you become, the shorter the day is you like,

484
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: I ain't finn, you ain't gotta wait no, two years.

485
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 1: I got. I done froze my eggs. I need to

486
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 1: get my eggs all out. I don't have time for

487
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 1: all this. I done went to the opg yn. They said,

488
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 1: I'm about to have a geriatric childbirth. I'm thirty five

489
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: years old. We need to go ahead and get this

490
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 1: show on the road. You got six months tops. After

491
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 1: six months, I'm moving on. So y'all said, y'all wait

492
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 1: two years. Y'all got grace over here in disciple Christ like,

493
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 1: good Lord, it's interesting. So that's good. We're gonna talk

494
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,719
Speaker 1: about that. So your wife may be out there. They

495
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,879
Speaker 1: gonna give you two years. You know that's good. Sneaker,

496
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:43,679
Speaker 1: how's these Dayton streets have been treating you?

497
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 2: I can't say these Dayton streets?

498
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 1: Why not?

499
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 2: Because it's foolishness. There's so much oh between men and

500
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 2: women right now. It's not good. It's not good. But

501
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 2: I don't like the Day's streets.

502
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:57,920
Speaker 4: I date.

503
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 2: I think that men are very interesting at this point

504
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,920
Speaker 2: in my life. But it is what it is.

505
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 1: When you say they're interesting, to unpack that, please.

506
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 3: Oh.

507
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 2: So somewhere along the way, it seems like men have

508
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:20,600
Speaker 2: stopped being thank you, thank you amen, they.

509
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 3: Answered it for me.

510
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,479
Speaker 2: We all have touched and agreement.

511
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: You have a whole choir out there.

512
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:31,159
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, man, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. They expect you

513
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 2: to do a lot of the work. They expect you to.

514
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,879
Speaker 2: And it's so funny because it's what's interesting is that

515
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 2: a man doesn't want a woman to lead but in

516
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 2: the day and they want a woman to lead. Wow,

517
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 2: And so these streets. It's not conducive for dating, it's not.

518
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 1: You had a very interesting journey that you're very transparent

519
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 1: and vulnerable about. When did you see yourself getting married.

520
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 2: I thought I would be married probably in my med

521
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 2: excuse me, my early thirties. I thought I married then.

522
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 1: So early thirties, and you remained a virgin all the

523
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 1: way up until what age forty five? Forty five?

524
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 2: He didn't know that.

525
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:16,199
Speaker 1: He's like, what, yeah, yeah, so so forty five. I

526
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 1: want y'all to see if y'all keep clapping, And so

527
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:24,359
Speaker 1: around forty five you got weary in your well doing why.

528
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 2: So it's so funny because when we went to a

529
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:31,440
Speaker 2: mission trip in the Gambia and we had this conversation

530
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,680
Speaker 2: and I thought I had put this to rest. So

531
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 2: everyone knows the story of the prodigal son, but most

532
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 2: people don't ever think about the oldest child, the other brother.

533
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,679
Speaker 2: And so what happens when you were so tired of

534
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 2: being the one that you feel like is doing everything

535
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,719
Speaker 2: right and nothing is coming your way. That's good And

536
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 2: so for me at that age, I was just over

537
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 2: and done with it because I've had reproductive health issues.

538
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:02,360
Speaker 2: I just was like, is coming from as far as

539
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,160
Speaker 2: a mate, is this man gonna ever show up? I'm

540
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:09,159
Speaker 2: trying to be obedient a Meani's hard. I'm trying to

541
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,479
Speaker 2: be obedient. I'm trying to be all of this and

542
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 2: I'm trying to follow God. I'm trying to walk in

543
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 2: my calling. I'm trying to do all of these things

544
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 2: in nothing. And so for me at forty five, I

545
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 2: was like, I'm done with this. I'm tied, and I

546
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 2: methodically planned it. I called him up, I said, hey,

547
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 2: when you come into town, I want to sleep with you.

548
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 1: And what was his response? Well, I know his response.

549
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:37,959
Speaker 2: His response was yes, if I were to ask anything,

550
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,199
Speaker 2: I would sincerely doubt that any of the men that

551
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 2: I have ever talked to would say no. So I

552
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 2: that was not even a problem. That wasn't even that

553
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 2: never crossed my mind that he would say no, was.

554
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 1: That somebody that was just a friend or somebody were dating.

555
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 2: I mean, he wasn't anyone I was dating. But he

556
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 2: wasn't just a friend. He had just kind of evolved

557
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 2: and moved a little bit more towards attraction and things.

558
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 1: And he knew that you were a vision. He knew

559
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 1: that that decision he would be making would be you

560
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: surrendering your virginity to him.

561
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 2: He asked me, are you sure about this? And I'm like,

562
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 2: I'm positive.

563
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 1: And then how did you feel knowing that you were

564
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 1: disciplined for forty five years, honoring God, after math, the aftermath,

565
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 1: and then you decided to surrender that? Then what hit you?

566
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:34,640
Speaker 1: Take me through mentally spiritusly? What did you undergo going

567
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 1: through that? Because I take it that you were literally

568
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 1: waiting for marriage to give up your virginity.

569
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 12: Right.

570
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 2: So what's so interesting is that the older that I grew,

571
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 2: I wasn't quite sure I was waiting for marriage, but

572
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 2: I was waiting for love. At one point when I

573
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 2: was younger, I was like, I'm waiting for marriage, But

574
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 2: then as I got older, it became I'm at least

575
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 2: waiting to have love and a love connection with someone,

576
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 2: and then that when that didn't happen, my decision, but

577
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 2: the aftermath of it, the immediate aftermath, I was like, Okay, okay,

578
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 2: I've done this. But then slowly after that, the devastation came.

579
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 2: Because I've used sex as sacred. I believe in soul tis.

580
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 2: I believe that there are connections that you make with

581
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 2: other people that you can't break. I believe that when

582
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 2: you are with other people that spirits. I believe in

583
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 2: all of that. And so for me, sex was so sacred.

584
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying I was perfect beforehand, so let

585
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:44,920
Speaker 2: me really be clear on that, but I just was

586
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 2: like I was tired. But afterwards, the devastation after rooms

587
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 2: was I, you know how, and it's gonna sound bad

588
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 2: from a spiritual standpoint, but I feel like I got

589
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 2: my lick back. I felt like God was like, I

590
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 2: got you, and he did. He handled me. He did,

591
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 2: he handled me, And that was the devastation with that,

592
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 2: and then the disappointment and disappointing God. That's probably what

593
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 2: crushed me more than anything that I had to finally

594
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 2: make peace with, is that because my relationship with God

595
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 2: is so important to me that I was intentionally disobedience,

596
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 2: like this wasn't just something that just oh happened. No,

597
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 2: I was methodical. I was intentional with my disobedience because

598
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 2: I was rebellion, rebelling against all of the hurt, all

599
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 2: of the grief, all of that, and then once it

600
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 2: was gone, it was gone.

601
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 1: Did you forgive yourself from that? I have you said

602
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 1: your therapist walked you through grieving the life that you

603
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 1: thought you were going to have walk us through that?

604
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: What was that process? Because I believe that a lot

605
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: of us can learn something from that. When we're younger,

606
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 1: we have these especially they start playing with Barbie dolls early.

607
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 1: They they're taught about marriage and love and relationships at

608
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 1: an early age. You put in your mind, I'm gonna

609
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: be married by the age of twenty five. Some guy

610
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: that you dated in high school. You'll tell yourself, we're

611
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:17,760
Speaker 1: gonna get married. Uh, And he's like, yeah, right, But

612
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 1: you're sixteen years old. Your frontal low ain't even developing.

613
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 1: You just you you you believe that this guy is

614
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: the one, until you realize later on that he's not.

615
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 1: How did you what type of things that you have

616
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: in your mind that you had to reconcile and grieve

617
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 1: that didn't happen at the age of forty five when

618
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: you made that decision.

619
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 2: So I think I started grieving the life I didn't

620
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 2: have within after forty five, after I slept with someone,

621
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 2: and part of that so I'm very open to transparent.

622
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 2: So I had fibroids when I was in my no

623
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 2: in my twenties. I was first diagnosed with fibroids, and

624
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 2: immediately I was like, I can't have kids. My doctor

625
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:02,560
Speaker 2: was like, no, that's not gonna be it. But I

626
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 2: literally felt like I had a vision for God actually called,

627
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 2: which is a part of my calling to ministry, Like

628
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 2: I had a vision, and part of that was I

629
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 2: was not a mother, but I had all of these

630
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 2: children that were not mine around me. And so from

631
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 2: that I had to get in my mind, Okay, you're

632
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 2: being pessimistic in your twenties, but then thirty comes and

633
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 2: then forty comes and this still isn't coming to fruition.

634
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 2: And so when I had had the first firebreaid surgery

635
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 2: and then later on was still having other surgeries, and

636
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 2: then I ended up sleeping with someone, and then the

637
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 2: funny thing is is that so have I've had a

638
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 2: hysterectomy last year, and so when people ask you do

639
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 2: you want kids? And I had to make the decision

640
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 2: to have a hysterectomy, well, I don't know if I

641
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 2: can have kids because I haven't had sex to figure

642
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 2: this out. Oh God, so I haven't been in a

643
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 2: position to figure this out. But I'm about to alter

644
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 2: the entire course of my life on what So at

645
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 2: that point I had to really start having conversations with

646
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 2: myself and with my therapists because I put it off

647
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 2: for so long, Like it got to the point, I

648
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 2: mean it was bad, like I've had multiple reproductive surgeries

649
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 2: before I finally had a hysterectomy, and like even my

650
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 2: doctor was like, child, you sure you won't just go?

651
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 2: And I was like, no, I'm trying to wait. I'm

652
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 2: gonna try to do this the right way. But so

653
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 2: it had gotten to that point though that I really

654
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 2: had to reconnizile within myself. This is not what my

655
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 2: life is about to be and I can no longer

656
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 2: make a decision, especially with my health, based on I

657
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 2: wish I would when I had nobody was in sight,

658
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 2: and so I had to learn to start grieving that

659
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 2: and acknowledging that I'm not gonna be a mother biologically,

660
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 2: I'm not about to I won't know the answer to

661
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,239
Speaker 2: the question if I could have kids, even though I

662
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 2: had so many other reproductive health issues with fibroads and

663
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 2: poly ups and all of these things as a woman.

664
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 2: And so those are things in hard conversations I had

665
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 2: to have with myself that I had to cry, that,

666
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,280
Speaker 2: I had to talk to my friends and my therapists

667
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 2: and my doctor and be like, I can't believe I'm

668
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,359
Speaker 2: about to do this. But now on the other side

669
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 2: of that, I'm like, oh, it's the best decision I

670
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 2: ever made.

671
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 1: I love that y'all give it up for her, because

672
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: I I just want to say thank you for sharing this,

673
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 1: thank you for your vulnerability. I believe that you're setting

674
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 1: people free. I believe that what you're saying right now

675
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 1: because it's the thing that a lot of women struggle

676
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 1: with privately, that you're giving voice to those women and

677
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,359
Speaker 1: in the church unfortunately, and I thank you, Pastor King

678
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 1: for allowing this conversation to take place, because a lot

679
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 1: of churches would over spiritualize that and beat her up

680
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:56,439
Speaker 1: that she didn't have enough faith. She didn't have enough

681
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: faith to wait for God to bring that person to her.

682
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 1: She didn't have enough to believe that God could heal her.

683
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 1: And you didn't have enough faith. And she's saying, you

684
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 1: have no idea, how much fasting, idea, how I may

685
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 1: have the mothers of the church lay handsome.

686
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 4: You don't know.

687
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 1: And what makes it so bad is that we will

688
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: demonize her struggle. And her struggle has been for forty

689
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 1: five years. Believe in God for this thing, and like

690
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: she said, she had to make a decision from her health.

691
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 1: So I'm saying, Shanika, I appreciate you, queen. I salute

692
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 1: you queen for giving voice of this because as a man,

693
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 1: I've been having these conversations with women often on my

694
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 1: podcast that a lot of men we just don't know.

695
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 1: People don't even know. She said, we don't. God, I'm

696
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:45,839
Speaker 1: trying to have a safe space. You just attacked us, right,

697
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 1: just attack, But.

698
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 2: So many men don't. It's so many men don't know

699
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:55,799
Speaker 2: about women's reproductive health and what we experience and what

700
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,760
Speaker 2: we go through, Like I just can't. I've had literally

701
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 2: sent conversations with male friends and they were like what

702
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 2: you mean. It's just so much that it's overlooked when

703
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 2: it comes to women, and it's a lot of things

704
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:15,359
Speaker 2: that women hide. Yes, but I don't believe, especially when

705
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 2: it comes to that. I don't believe in hidiness.

706
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 1: That's good. I had a conversation with one of my

707
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 1: goddaughters yesterday and she said that she had gotten My

708
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: daughter had a baby shower last week and so I'm

709
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 1: gonna be a grandfather. I'm gonna be a grandfather. So

710
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 1: I praised God for that. In September, and her friend,

711
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 1: who I've known since high school my daughter was in

712
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 1: high school, she said that she had a miscarriage last

713
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 1: year and the first thing that the father of the

714
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:51,799
Speaker 1: child said was what did you do? And it devastated her.

715
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 1: And then the doctor said, hey, listen, you can come

716
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 1: into the office. We'll extract the baby, or we can

717
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 1: just give you a peal for you the past. The

718
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 1: baby based in the toilet and the guy said she

719
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 1: took the pill. She was very nauseated. He said, make sure.

720
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 1: The doc said, make sure someone is present while you're

721
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 1: going through this or whatnot. The dude sat around for

722
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:13,759
Speaker 1: a little bit that day and he said, man, I'm

723
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,240
Speaker 1: gonna go, ahad and pick up a shift from work

724
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:19,879
Speaker 1: and went to work and left her there. And when

725
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: I said, I was so upset when she told me

726
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 1: that yesterday, and I was like, ah, this is so

727
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 1: just how naive can you be? But unfortunately that's probably

728
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 1: commonplace for a lot of men to be like, oh,

729
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 1: you'll be all right, You're just gonna go use the

730
00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:35,319
Speaker 1: bathroom and you're gonna pass this, and we're gonna you're

731
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,360
Speaker 1: gonna be all right, thinking that it's just she's on

732
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: a cycle or something, not knowing that he needs to

733
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 1: be present in that moment. And so that's why I

734
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 1: applaud you for giving conversation to give him voice to

735
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 1: this right now, because I do want more men to

736
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 1: be sensitive to the reproductive health of women. So it's

737
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 1: not a thing of well, what's wrong with you? You know,

738
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 1: I've had situations with a friend and so whatnot where

739
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,359
Speaker 1: the man was blaming the woman for not being able

740
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,720
Speaker 1: to get pregnant when you found out that he was sterole.

741
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 1: You know, he's blaming her and saying you can't get pregnant,

742
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:10,959
Speaker 1: you can't get this or whatever. And then she said,

743
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: you know what I want you to go get checked

744
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 1: and then found out that he couldn't have kids. And

745
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 1: so it's so crazy how it is that will blame

746
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:20,880
Speaker 1: the woman and blame the woman when you know, we

747
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:22,799
Speaker 1: all need to have grace for each other. So again,

748
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, Thank you did that. Bless y'all

749
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 1: to have this conversation because a lot of women are

750
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 1: dealing with fibroids like crazy during this time, and so

751
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:35,120
Speaker 1: I thank you. Just talk to this young king, Tyrese.

752
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 1: I love your song Sweet Lady. By the way, I

753
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 1: loved that song. I love that song, Tyrese. But listen,

754
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:46,680
Speaker 1: so Tyre's how old are you? You said you're twenty

755
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:47,359
Speaker 1: five years old.

756
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:48,880
Speaker 4: Twenty five years old, yes, sir.

757
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 1: And I love that you're going to give voice to

758
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:55,280
Speaker 1: the younger generation. But you're so different in the conversation

759
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 1: that we had, you know, right before coming on stage,

760
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:02,239
Speaker 1: you're a very very intentional young man. What has made

761
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: you so intentional when it comes to relationships and love?

762
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 9: Honestly, just tom, you know, spending time with the same

763
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,280
Speaker 9: woman that I've been with for a while.

764
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 4: We've been rocking for a while. Yeah, but also too

765
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 4: just seeing the people.

766
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 9: Around me, like my parents, having role models around me

767
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 9: like Pastor King and different relationships in the church, just

768
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,399
Speaker 9: just different people. Just being around older people a lot.

769
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:34,359
Speaker 9: That's I know, Pastor King said, I'm like an old

770
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:38,839
Speaker 9: young old soul, and so just being around older people,

771
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 9: it's taught me a lot.

772
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:42,319
Speaker 1: So I would say that, so you desire marriage, I

773
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 1: do absolutely why.

774
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,799
Speaker 9: I feel like your blessing is on the other side

775
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:48,320
Speaker 9: of covenant.

776
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:49,879
Speaker 4: I truly believe that.

777
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 9: And for me, I would definitely say I haven't had.

778
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 9: You asked a question to uh Miss Jessica earlier about

779
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 9: her transition, and I feel like I'm still in my

780
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 9: transition trying to figure life out, you know, who I

781
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 9: want to be, what I want to do, and stuff

782
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 9: like that, and I haven't had the best look. However,

783
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 9: I've been with this woman, and so it's like, well,

784
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:15,959
Speaker 9: maybe I need to This is the part that's gonna

785
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:26,919
Speaker 9: unlock that that blessing for me. Because because we talked,

786
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,319
Speaker 9: we often bring up, you know, the verse of a

787
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:30,839
Speaker 9: man that finds a wife, find a good thing, but

788
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 9: he also finds favorite with the Lord.

789
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:36,840
Speaker 4: And so I need favor, I need favor.

790
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:43,879
Speaker 1: So yeah, so do you believe this woman is your

791
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 1: favorite factor said that one time. Do you believe this

792
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 1: woman is your favorite factor?

793
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:49,959
Speaker 4: For sure?

794
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:50,800
Speaker 1: Why?

795
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 4: Why she sent from heaven?

796
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:55,879
Speaker 12: Man?

797
00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 9: I mean yeah, so yeah, I would say this. I

798
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 9: mean I don't really have an ancest to why.

799
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 4: I just haven't.

800
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 1: You just said, I just believe it. You just said it.

801
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 1: You said that someone sent from heaven. There's no greater

802
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,719
Speaker 1: place to be from, you know. And so for you

803
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 1: to be able to understand that and then have the

804
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:22,400
Speaker 1: wherewithal and know that that next level of transition is

805
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 1: only unlocked through covenant to understand that. And I want

806
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:29,360
Speaker 1: to talk to you, young king, for you to understand

807
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 1: that at twenty five years old, do you know how

808
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:36,399
Speaker 1: much heartbreak you're saving yourself? Do you realize how much

809
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:40,920
Speaker 1: wasted time you're saving yourself? You realize how quickly you're

810
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 1: going to get where you're trying to get because you

811
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 1: are doing things God's way. You have to understand that.

812
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 1: And I want this to vibrate across you the whole

813
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 1: world right now. I want for younger people, especially men,

814
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:58,840
Speaker 1: to get the lesson early, to learn the lesson early,

815
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 1: because as you can be that was called like an

816
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,879
Speaker 1: old fool. You know, you be fifty five years old.

817
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:06,279
Speaker 1: Still like, come on, I mean, at the end of

818
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 1: the day, how many girlfriends do you want? You know,

819
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 1: it's like you twenty five, you realize that and this

820
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 1: power in that. I want you to understand that there's power.

821
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 1: Do you find that a lot of guys your age

822
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 1: don't think like that?

823
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 4: Absolutely? Absolutely?

824
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,680
Speaker 1: What are they on right now? But what type of

825
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 1: time are they on? I'm hip, I'm hip right, So

826
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 1: I just lost it when I said hip, right. I

827
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 1: just lost it when I said I'm hip.

828
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 4: To be honest with you, I'm gonna be completely honest

829
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:39,719
Speaker 4: with you. I have I have two friends that are married.

830
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 9: That's twenty five to twenty six, twenty seven range. I

831
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:47,479
Speaker 9: have three that are engaged. That's twenty five to twenty six.

832
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:51,799
Speaker 9: So everybody your circle is like that.

833
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 1: Hold on, so you just named five friends that are

834
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 1: in it intentional relationships like that?

835
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 9: Yeah, but not not all of my friends are some

836
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:05,719
Speaker 9: of them, some of them are single. I do have

837
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 9: other friends that are in relationships that aren't engaged or married,

838
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 9: but a good amount of them.

839
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,840
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, how's that? Are they in the church or

840
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 1: I mean, how do you meet these guys?

841
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 13: Like?

842
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 3: Yeah?

843
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, the two that are married.

844
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 9: They're both pastors, and so they they kind of put

845
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 9: me on game.

846
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 4: That's why I can talk the way I do about this.

847
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:28,399
Speaker 9: But and then my other friends they are they are

848
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 9: in the church, they are believers, and so I think

849
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 9: that that plays a huge part in it. But you

850
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 9: asked the question about what type of time are these

851
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 9: young men on. I think everybody's on their own type

852
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 9: of time. I mean, I couldn't. I can't just say.

853
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 9: I mean, we know, you know what I'm saying, You're

854
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,479
Speaker 9: gonna have some young boys that's out here that's trying

855
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 9: to get to it, you know what I'm saying, And

856
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 9: then something that's actually trying to be intentional about day.

857
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 9: And I have one friend of mine, my best friend,

858
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:54,399
Speaker 9: actually he is like super intentional, like to the point

859
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 9: like he kind of liked David, like he believe in

860
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 9: love at first sight, and he's very optimistic and stuff

861
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,799
Speaker 9: like that, and so he's super intentional about everything, and

862
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 9: so I look at him. But then I do have

863
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 9: other friends that's not on that at all, you know

864
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:07,759
Speaker 9: what I'm saying.

865
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:11,800
Speaker 1: And so it's both ends of the spectrum. You said

866
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 1: something that was interesting when you were speaking about the

867
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:20,800
Speaker 1: love of your life. What did you say that I

868
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 1: don't want to give you your words, but what did you

869
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 1: say that made you know that she's the one?

870
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:32,680
Speaker 9: Honestly her support for me, but also the fact that

871
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 9: she gave me the space to become or to allow

872
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 9: me to become the person who I want to be.

873
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 9: And like I said, I'm still in my transition, and

874
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 9: so a part of it is I'm still figuring it

875
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,360
Speaker 9: out and she's allowed me that space to do that,

876
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:46,799
Speaker 9: and I'm allowing her the same way.

877
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 4: So it's that reciprocation.

878
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:51,760
Speaker 1: And see, I think that's so important to give people

879
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,319
Speaker 1: the grace to figure it out. I know a lot

880
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 1: of y'all are somebody in the forties and fifties. You're like, no,

881
00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 1: you should have figured out by now. I ain't got

882
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 1: no grace. I have zero grace. Grace has expired. Give

883
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 1: this rap career up. You fifty five years old. You

884
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 1: are not going to be a rapper, that's what you're saying.

885
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 1: And you heard that in the spirit. You said, you're

886
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 1: not going to be a rapper. Thus saith the Lord

887
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 1: thy God, and so you don't have grace for that.

888
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 1: But I'm talking about is people are getting to know

889
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 1: each other as people, because you sometimes you feel like

890
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:25,920
Speaker 1: people are supposed to know you already, Like let somebody,

891
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 1: that person existed on this earth for thirty five years,

892
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 1: thirty seven years without you, and so give them the

893
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 1: grace to get to know you and be open and

894
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 1: vulnerable and transparent so they can actually understand and learn

895
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 1: who you are. But I love when you said that

896
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 1: one of the things that you admire most about your

897
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 1: woman is that she gave you the grace to figure

898
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,520
Speaker 1: it out, and you're giving her grace to figure it out.

899
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 1: And that's cultivated in friendship. So I highly respect that.

900
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,799
Speaker 1: So thank you. Say something, all right, what you want?

901
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 1: All right? Well cool, I'm gonna talk to Rashid real quick. Rashid,

902
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 1: And so you were on the show Ready to Love.

903
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,279
Speaker 1: What made you decide to get on the show like

904
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:06,799
Speaker 1: ready to Love to find love? And where where your

905
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:11,919
Speaker 1: intentions looking for love or you had a different intentions.

906
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:15,799
Speaker 5: Well, I was divorced prior to right, So going through

907
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 5: that whole season of grieving and healing and the whole

908
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,400
Speaker 5: process and counseling and things of that nature. And it

909
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 5: was about two years, right, and then just organically.

910
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:26,319
Speaker 4: I wasn't. I didn't even know. I'd heard of the show,

911
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 4: but I didn't know.

912
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 5: They were coming to Houston looking for a Houston based cast,

913
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 5: and I was just one of my buddies of mine.

914
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:33,279
Speaker 5: I was like, man, you know what tied to being

915
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 5: in the house, I've been, you know, tied to.

916
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,800
Speaker 4: The pity party. Let's go. I'm ready. I got myself together.

917
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:40,280
Speaker 5: So he's like, great, man, to meet me out somewhere

918
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:41,840
Speaker 5: and then we'll we'll.

919
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 4: You know, commune and I have a couple other buddies

920
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 4: with me.

921
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 5: So anyway, I'm there and I met someone that was

922
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 5: telling me, hey, are you single? We're talking to there's

923
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,239
Speaker 5: this show called Ready to Love. They're casting for Houston.

924
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:50,920
Speaker 4: I didn't even know about it.

925
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:52,919
Speaker 5: I said, oh, I can getting my information, and sure

926
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 5: enough they called me and I started thinking about the show.

927
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:58,400
Speaker 5: So the reason why I went on the show is

928
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 5: because I was ready. I had done the work through

929
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:06,719
Speaker 5: counseling and accepting my flaws and where things went wrong.

930
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,800
Speaker 5: So those of us have been divorced, you go through

931
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:11,880
Speaker 5: like so many different stages.

932
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:12,840
Speaker 4: It's aggrieving.

933
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 1: You go you grieve that, and then you go through

934
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:18,919
Speaker 1: y'all how many y'all have, how many y'all divorced? All right?

935
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 1: It's a lot, all right? All right? So about that

936
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 1: sound bad? When I say it's a lot, Just that

937
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:29,839
Speaker 1: sounds bad? Oh well, I raise it was a lot.

938
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,960
Speaker 1: It seemed like I had almost all the audience to

939
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:37,040
Speaker 1: raise my hand. What I just I'm sorry I say

940
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 1: stuff wrong. Sometimes I don't. I don't know. I know

941
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:43,279
Speaker 1: it's that many people. It's getting worse and worse as

942
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,520
Speaker 1: I talk, it's getting worse.

943
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:46,919
Speaker 4: Go here.

944
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 5: So for me, I felt I had done the work personally.

945
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 5: My son was already adjusted to his new normal. That

946
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,399
Speaker 5: was my most important to make sure he was set

947
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 5: up and things were going ready for him. So now

948
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,040
Speaker 5: it's time to take care of that. And then so

949
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 5: when the opportunity came, hey, why not. I'm gonna be

950
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 5: open to the process. I'm gonna be myself. And if

951
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 5: I happen to find love on the show, then so

952
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 5: be it. Because I am a lover of love. I'm

953
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:11,239
Speaker 5: a sucker for love. I do love love. I think

954
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 5: love and relationships makes me better. So I've always felt

955
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,040
Speaker 5: that way, and anyone who's known me from middle school,

956
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:19,719
Speaker 5: high school, college, even my teammates in college will still

957
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 5: tease me to this day as a forty seven year

958
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 5: old man like god dog Rushie, like everything is not

959
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 5: gonna be peaches and cream and lollipops and rainbows. But

960
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 5: knowing that, going on there and saying, but why not?

961
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 4: Why not?

962
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 5: Sometimes we always defeat what we don't even know before

963
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 5: it's even presented to us. So when I went on

964
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 5: the show, I'm gonna be open to the process and

965
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 5: be myself and see where the chips fall.

966
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:43,359
Speaker 4: And so that's what led me to the show.

967
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 1: And you found love on the show, you would say

968
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:48,799
Speaker 1: love right, yes, sir, all right, so you found love

969
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 1: on the show and it led to an engagement, and

970
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,239
Speaker 1: what happened with that engagement?

971
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:59,360
Speaker 5: Okay, well on the show we found like on the

972
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:01,880
Speaker 5: show and after the fact, we actually started dating after

973
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 5: the show. There wasn't a true love connection on the show.

974
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 5: And she's actually from the d MV.

975
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 4: I mean not d M D. I'm sorry, I'm from

976
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 4: Houston'm sorry, d f W. The little sister.

977
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 6: Slow down man, slow down down, hold up.

978
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 5: You know in Dallas in the bags over here, you

979
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:23,359
Speaker 5: know how we do Houston in Dallas. So anyway, so yes,

980
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:26,359
Speaker 5: So we actually started dating more intentionally after the show, right,

981
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:30,920
Speaker 5: and again just open to the process and just we

982
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 5: met each other at the right place in our lives,

983
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:37,239
Speaker 5: and then we were very open and honest with one

984
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 5: another in the beginning about what we wanted and what

985
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:43,319
Speaker 5: we had gone through and things of that nature. And

986
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 5: so ultimately you fall in love. And would I say,

987
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 5: because a lot of people see TV love and they

988
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 5: think it was fake, for that, I was looking at

989
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:58,839
Speaker 5: it as to I see this person outside of the team,

990
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:02,760
Speaker 5: So it made it more intimate that we actually started

991
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:04,800
Speaker 5: pursuing each other after the fact, and then we started

992
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:08,239
Speaker 5: to get to know each other, and I would say,

993
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 5: she's not She wasn't typically the woman I would typically

994
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 5: go for.

995
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:13,399
Speaker 4: However, when you.

996
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:15,719
Speaker 5: Start meeting someone and talk and she really poured into me,

997
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 5: and it was like, Wow, she's dope, and then you

998
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:19,840
Speaker 5: just go down that road and you just kind of

999
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:20,359
Speaker 5: fall in love.

1000
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 4: So we did that, and then you know, things.

1001
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 5: Things started to go awry, and I'll I'll own up

1002
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 5: to the things that I did in the relationship. And

1003
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:33,479
Speaker 5: then oftentimes now I speak to men about the things

1004
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:35,359
Speaker 5: that we do and the things that we don't have

1005
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 5: to do in relationships, we show up as our eighty

1006
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 5: percent best is what we can be and be okay

1007
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,319
Speaker 5: with the twenty and sometimes we try to put on

1008
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:47,640
Speaker 5: a facade of the twenty that we don't even need.

1009
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 5: So I say that all the time, and I'll say

1010
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 5: that to myself. I am enough just as who I am,

1011
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:56,399
Speaker 5: flaws and all, because I think I'm pretty dope even

1012
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:57,440
Speaker 5: with the eighty percent of me.

1013
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 4: So with that, you go through the work. Are you're

1014
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 4: trying to you.

1015
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:02,719
Speaker 5: Know, as the kid say, I'm you know, you're doing

1016
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 5: a whole lot of cap and you you portraying something

1017
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 5: that you're not when the truth and the core of

1018
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 5: you is enough and sufficient. So with those things, they

1019
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:14,840
Speaker 5: started kind of leaning us down the wrong, wrong path.

1020
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 1: Did you'll understand what he's talking about? Okay? Because I

1021
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 1: want to, because you know, I like specifics. Let's do it,

1022
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 1: let's do it. I just want to make sure y'all understand,

1023
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:27,080
Speaker 1: because I if I didn't know already, I would understand

1024
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 1: nothing he talked about, so specifically, okay, let's do it. Yeah.

1025
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:36,319
Speaker 1: So so specifically that was just a warm up, warm up,

1026
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:41,440
Speaker 1: all right, lit'stenpact this. So you said you showed up

1027
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:45,359
Speaker 1: eighty percent, but the twenty percent you tried to beat

1028
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 1: what happened? So you were engaged to her? What did

1029
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:52,800
Speaker 1: you do wrong?

1030
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:53,239
Speaker 2: Right?

1031
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 4: So that's a great question. So see he laying on.

1032
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:03,880
Speaker 1: My podcast twice, so he's been on both times with

1033
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 1: his ex fiance. And what I admire about him is

1034
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:09,359
Speaker 1: that he was willing to give voice to something that

1035
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:11,800
Speaker 1: most men aren't willing to give voice to. So I

1036
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:13,799
Speaker 1: always like it when men when they show up in

1037
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:17,040
Speaker 1: spaces when people haven't heard the story before. I want

1038
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 1: them to have a clear vision and understanding so other

1039
00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 1: men in that audience can say, dang, I'm doing that too,

1040
00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:24,399
Speaker 1: let me fix that. So that's the only reason why

1041
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 1: I'm challenging here, all right, So unpact this.

1042
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:32,919
Speaker 5: So I wasn't vulnerable enough, right, So men, we get

1043
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:34,799
Speaker 5: taught to go out there and divide and conquer when

1044
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 5: we leave our perspective homes, and we have to be

1045
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:41,879
Speaker 5: this strong person that doesn't have feelings and we don't

1046
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 5: have fears, insecurities, hope streams and wishes that we want

1047
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 5: to pursue. And sometimes we will put on a facade

1048
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 5: for things that happened to us in.

1049
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:53,360
Speaker 4: The past and try to overcome those things.

1050
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 5: So for me, I was always the underdog right coming

1051
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:59,560
Speaker 5: up through the educational system.

1052
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 4: I was a bit behind. I was a bit delayed.

1053
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,200
Speaker 5: So my mother, being a single mother, a single strong

1054
00:53:04,239 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 5: black woman, wouldn't take that finanswer. My mother tracked me

1055
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:10,279
Speaker 5: all over Houston for me to get caught up and

1056
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:12,840
Speaker 5: learn through where I could be in catch up with

1057
00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 5: my with my age group. And then in school and

1058
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:19,320
Speaker 5: counselors saying, you know what, I think he's an athlete

1059
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:22,280
Speaker 5: and he'll either go to school on a college basketball

1060
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:24,040
Speaker 5: scholarship or it needs to go to be a blue

1061
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 5: collar and learn a trade.

1062
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,840
Speaker 4: And my mother again, no, absolutely not. And then what

1063
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 4: do they want to do.

1064
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 5: Back then put us on Ritland and all this kind

1065
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:34,399
Speaker 5: of ADHD medicine and things of that nature. So being

1066
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:36,720
Speaker 5: told that I wouldn't be successful in college, So now

1067
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:39,040
Speaker 5: you have this mindset, I got to prove you wrong,

1068
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:42,960
Speaker 5: and everything I do, I have to over extend myself

1069
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 5: to prove people wrong. And then when you get in

1070
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:46,880
Speaker 5: your family, you start doing good. Then you start now

1071
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:49,760
Speaker 5: all of a sudden, now I'm the pedestal of the family.

1072
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 5: Now I'm the first to go to college and the

1073
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 5: athletic scholarship and then which I did go to college

1074
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 5: and graduate with honors.

1075
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 4: So then I'm still trying to prove people.

1076
00:53:57,440 --> 00:54:01,120
Speaker 1: Give it up, give it up, don't just run by that. Yeah,

1077
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:03,279
Speaker 1: that's good, that's good, keep talking, king.

1078
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 5: So at that point you take on this persona as

1079
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 5: I got everything figured out. And sometimes men we fall

1080
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:13,120
Speaker 5: into that trap when it's okay, especially if you have

1081
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:16,239
Speaker 5: a queen with you that can understand that you're not

1082
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:18,680
Speaker 5: always going to be perfect and I accept you as

1083
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:19,880
Speaker 5: you are. So that's kind of what the saying with

1084
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 5: the eighty twenty. I need to acknowledge those things up front,

1085
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:26,000
Speaker 5: because sometimes men, we see you, we like you, like,

1086
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:28,400
Speaker 5: ooh she bad. I can't, man, I gotta give her

1087
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 5: the whole thing. I gotta tell her everything that she

1088
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 5: may want to hear and understand that you're just as sufficient.

1089
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:36,520
Speaker 4: With what you truly, truly are.

1090
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:39,839
Speaker 5: So that's kind of where I lost my way when

1091
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:43,960
Speaker 5: I was very very good enough just being and telling

1092
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,719
Speaker 5: who I was. So those were some things, some misconceptions,

1093
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 5: some things I left out, and some things that I

1094
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 5: lied by omission, right, And so for now, when I

1095
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:57,080
Speaker 5: talk to men it's like, bro, be okay, you're still

1096
00:54:57,160 --> 00:55:01,680
Speaker 5: him regardless of your flaws. But we acknowledge those things,

1097
00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 5: don't run from it and try to act like we

1098
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:06,319
Speaker 5: got it all figured out because we don't. And then

1099
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 5: once we figure that out, it's easier in life. I'm

1100
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 5: so so much more peaceful now after I kind of

1101
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 5: bear it all to the world what you know about.

1102
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:18,000
Speaker 5: But it was for not only me to release those shackles,

1103
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:21,399
Speaker 5: because that's really a whole lot of pressure, a whole

1104
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 5: lot of pressure to try to pull people wrong. And

1105
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,440
Speaker 5: then sometimes now when you get to this certain pedestal,

1106
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 5: now you continue with your life trying to prove people

1107
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 5: right that you were right because I did all this stuff.

1108
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:32,560
Speaker 5: Now I'm gonna prove you right. And now I've already

1109
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:34,160
Speaker 5: gotten rid of the people that I proved wrong. And

1110
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 5: it's never any cycle, and you never have any peace.

1111
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:39,400
Speaker 5: So that's was the biggest thing for me to have

1112
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 5: to overcome.

1113
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:45,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, beautiful, beautiful, give it up from y'all. And so

1114
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 1: literally what it was, and this happens a lot that

1115
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 1: as he speaks to men, is that they'll try to

1116
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,839
Speaker 1: front like they got more than what they really got.

1117
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 1: They'll be on Instagram showing the fancy cars, showing all

1118
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:01,600
Speaker 1: that stuff and really don't have it like that. You know,

1119
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:04,319
Speaker 1: maybe behind four car notes, but you're showing that car

1120
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:07,480
Speaker 1: for the last month you got it, and so you

1121
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:09,880
Speaker 1: acting like you really got it going on. And so

1122
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:13,319
Speaker 1: what was so interesting that I found that it was

1123
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:18,320
Speaker 1: the most powerful revelation that I've seen on social media

1124
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:21,360
Speaker 1: for a man to have Rashid shared about all this

1125
00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:23,719
Speaker 1: stuff that he had. He had nice cars, he had

1126
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:27,279
Speaker 1: all this stuff, and it wasn't he didn't really have

1127
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:29,360
Speaker 1: it like that, you know what I'm saying. He was struggling.

1128
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:32,960
Speaker 1: He was trying to give his ex fiance a dream

1129
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:35,480
Speaker 1: wedding when he knew he couldn't afford it, you know.

1130
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:38,879
Speaker 1: And I want more women to understand that that when

1131
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:41,439
Speaker 1: a man truly loves you, he'll try to go over

1132
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:43,719
Speaker 1: and beyond for you, but he know he ain't got

1133
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 1: it like that. And it's because he has a fear

1134
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:49,640
Speaker 1: that you won't accept him if you if he told you,

1135
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:51,680
Speaker 1: I don't have it like that, like this wedding you're

1136
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 1: trying to plan that maybe one hundred thousand dollars. I

1137
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:55,759
Speaker 1: got one hundred dollars on it all right, I got

1138
00:56:55,760 --> 00:57:00,080
Speaker 1: one hundred dollars on this hundred thousand dollars wedding, and

1139
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 1: and so we need to scale back. We need to

1140
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:06,800
Speaker 1: go to Golden Corral and treat the family to buffet.

1141
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:09,400
Speaker 1: That's all I got. But where you still marry me

1142
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:11,879
Speaker 1: in spite of all that, you know? Is like, that's

1143
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 1: what men really want to do, is say here I am,

1144
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:16,160
Speaker 1: this is all I got. Do you still love me?

1145
00:57:16,560 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 1: And it's interesting that we want that because in those

1146
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 1: vows that we take, we say for better or for worse.

1147
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:25,760
Speaker 1: We say for richer or for poor, but nobody ever

1148
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 1: imagines the poor moment. You know, when you take those vowels,

1149
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:31,680
Speaker 1: you always look like in your mind you say for richer,

1150
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:34,920
Speaker 1: for better, you know, for help, you know. But when

1151
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 1: you take those vowels, you need to take those vowels

1152
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 1: understanding those transitions between the good and the bad.

1153
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 5: And let me say, let me say, kind of the

1154
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:47,840
Speaker 5: piggyback off what you said, because with that, the men

1155
00:57:47,920 --> 00:57:50,440
Speaker 5: that most of the women in here would want to

1156
00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:54,000
Speaker 5: marry and see as their husbands, Even with that those deficiencies,

1157
00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:56,959
Speaker 5: those men still want to be that leader. They still

1158
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,160
Speaker 5: want to be that provider. They still want to be

1159
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:02,320
Speaker 5: that protector. But sometimes where men we fall into place

1160
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:04,800
Speaker 5: we feel if we don't have all of that, we

1161
00:58:04,880 --> 00:58:07,280
Speaker 5: can't be all of those things. And that's the problem

1162
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 5: where we fall into. That's the trap that we get into,

1163
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 5: and that's when we start lying and acting like we

1164
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:15,680
Speaker 5: have it all figured out when we don't. When this

1165
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:19,800
Speaker 5: woman will understand, especially if she sees you in the

1166
00:58:19,840 --> 00:58:22,680
Speaker 5: place that you are and where you're going. Now, I'm

1167
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:24,560
Speaker 5: not talking about the brother sitting on the couch playing

1168
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:26,600
Speaker 5: the game all day. Y'all don't want that man anyway,

1169
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:27,400
Speaker 5: but the man.

1170
00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 8: That you want.

1171
00:58:28,040 --> 00:58:29,880
Speaker 1: Hold on, let me ask me, do y'all want that man?

1172
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 1: Do y'all want? Okay, wett to ask.

1173
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:35,400
Speaker 5: I gotta ask the man that you want that's working

1174
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:37,400
Speaker 5: hard and not trying to hurt anybody, trying to do

1175
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 5: his best, trying to figure it out. We need to

1176
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:42,080
Speaker 5: accept we're okay with that, and then we'll accept where

1177
00:58:42,120 --> 00:58:44,400
Speaker 5: the chips fall. If we find a beautiful woman, if

1178
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 5: we be upfront and honest and say I got it

1179
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:48,400
Speaker 5: all figured out, but guess what, I'm on my way

1180
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 5: there and I need to help me to help me

1181
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:53,080
Speaker 5: with that because at this end of the day, God

1182
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:57,080
Speaker 5: brought woman from here from our rear, right from our side,

1183
00:58:57,600 --> 00:58:59,120
Speaker 5: not to be too far in front of us, not

1184
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:01,480
Speaker 5: to be too feign back. Yes, right here as a

1185
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:04,040
Speaker 5: helpmate on our side. So we need those things, but

1186
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 5: we also have to come to it correctly.

1187
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. How many y'all are. Look,

1188
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:12,480
Speaker 1: y'all give it up for them, y'all are y'all wanting ready? Mamen?

1189
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:16,160
Speaker 1: Y'all understand the power of being a helpmate. Y'all understand

1190
00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:18,400
Speaker 1: the power of that, because a lot of times you'll

1191
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:21,600
Speaker 1: feel like and I just hate what social media does

1192
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:24,320
Speaker 1: to our psyche. You see all this stuff on social

1193
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:27,280
Speaker 1: media where you were, you know, especially as a black culture,

1194
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:30,000
Speaker 1: we're arguing over fifty to fifty and one hundred and

1195
00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:32,520
Speaker 1: all that nonsense that don't even makes sense if you

1196
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 1: really listen to if you actually listen to your grandparents,

1197
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:38,800
Speaker 1: they wouldn't argue about no foolishness like that. They just wasn't,

1198
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,240
Speaker 1: you know. And so at the end of the day,

1199
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:44,080
Speaker 1: we're all supposed to be one team. When you get

1200
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:46,440
Speaker 1: married to that person, y'a are a team. And so

1201
00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 1: if you think of everything as a team. Then you

1202
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:51,760
Speaker 1: won't be arguing about fifty to fifty and one hundred

1203
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:54,120
Speaker 1: and it's like what And this has unpacked us real quick.

1204
00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:56,040
Speaker 1: When do you expect to do with all your money?

1205
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:59,120
Speaker 1: If you working and I'm working and I'm supposed to

1206
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:00,920
Speaker 1: bepend all my money on all the bills, you just

1207
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:03,400
Speaker 1: gonna save all your money up until I die, and

1208
01:00:03,440 --> 01:00:05,640
Speaker 1: then you're gonna ball out of control, Like what is that?

1209
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:07,920
Speaker 1: What is that? You're just keeping all your money for what?

1210
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 1: That's not even fair. That's not a good partnership, you

1211
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:12,960
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. That's not even partnership. It's like

1212
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:15,480
Speaker 1: it don't even make sense. But we argue about stuff

1213
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:18,480
Speaker 1: like that all day. And so we gotta understand that.

1214
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:22,720
Speaker 1: Don't let the devil trap us into foolishness. Because as

1215
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:25,840
Speaker 1: you're believing God for your purpose, partner, the stuff that

1216
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:30,120
Speaker 1: you are digesting, these these these social media reels that

1217
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 1: you see in and you digest and you start saying,

1218
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:34,240
Speaker 1: that's what I want right now, I want that too.

1219
01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:37,400
Speaker 1: I was watching a video today that this man gives

1220
01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:39,720
Speaker 1: his wife one hundred and fifty thousand dollars for each

1221
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:43,360
Speaker 1: baby that she has y'all clap and see look at

1222
01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 1: you see led Astray deliverance. The altar is right here

1223
01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:48,440
Speaker 1: for you. The altars. The altar is right here for you.

1224
01:00:49,440 --> 01:00:52,640
Speaker 1: One hundred and fifty thousand dollars for each child that

1225
01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:55,560
Speaker 1: he has. Like to do? What with it? One hundred

1226
01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 1: and fifty thousand dollars? It's like it's just and then

1227
01:00:58,120 --> 01:01:00,560
Speaker 1: other men look at it and that now you want

1228
01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:02,000
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

1229
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:03,920
Speaker 3: Hey, I promise you is gonna be quiet.

1230
01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 1: You you want a d dollars? Just hold on a set, okay,

1231
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:08,400
Speaker 1: go ahead, and I'm packed, Jessica.

1232
01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 3: Let me tell you something. I have three sons.

1233
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:12,760
Speaker 1: Uh huh. That's four hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

1234
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:16,760
Speaker 3: You just hold on, you just hold on, all right,

1235
01:01:16,800 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 3: go ahead. I have three sons. Every single last one

1236
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:22,040
Speaker 3: of my pregnancies, I didn't use any medicine, and I

1237
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 3: almost died my baby boy. I hmmhaged out so bad

1238
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:28,880
Speaker 3: that when he was two days oh, I flew the

1239
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:31,480
Speaker 3: sagon off so that my children will be with my

1240
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:35,440
Speaker 3: mama just in case I transition. That's how bad it

1241
01:01:35,640 --> 01:01:38,840
Speaker 3: was for me having a child. It's not a dollar amount.

1242
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:42,520
Speaker 3: It's just value. It's not a matter of I need

1243
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:44,920
Speaker 3: a hundred like oh, in order to have your kid. No,

1244
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:48,120
Speaker 3: it's not that. It's thank you. I don't want this

1245
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:48,960
Speaker 3: is how you tell.

1246
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:52,400
Speaker 1: Them about Yes, you be quiet over over there, look

1247
01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:54,000
Speaker 1: at it goes right there.

1248
01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:57,160
Speaker 3: It's really it's it don't have to be that. It's

1249
01:01:57,240 --> 01:02:00,920
Speaker 3: just the fact that you would do something. That's forget

1250
01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:04,360
Speaker 3: something is here's something he got in like that. Here's

1251
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:07,840
Speaker 3: something is one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Another guy,

1252
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 3: I got you this big old bouquet of flowers. Thank

1253
01:02:11,720 --> 01:02:15,760
Speaker 3: you for acknowledging that life comes at a sacrifice. That's all.

1254
01:02:16,320 --> 01:02:19,680
Speaker 3: So I hear you. I hear you. You was going

1255
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:21,600
Speaker 3: you know you was in it. I just want to

1256
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:22,600
Speaker 3: pull you back a little bit.

1257
01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:24,240
Speaker 4: That's good.

1258
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:28,720
Speaker 1: So it's not the dollar about you saying, just the

1259
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 1: acknowledge that you want to you want to push present. Absolutely, Okay,

1260
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:35,439
Speaker 1: that's fine. I'm just saying one hundred and five thousand

1261
01:02:35,480 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 1: dollars extreme, hey man, So listen, because it's like, where

1262
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:42,840
Speaker 1: the money going, what's you? What's what we're doing? We

1263
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:45,040
Speaker 1: just just put in your Account's the thing about it?

1264
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:48,480
Speaker 1: When I look at what you say, teachers, don't worry

1265
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 1: about where the money went. Teacher said, don't worry about

1266
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:51,960
Speaker 1: where the money went?

1267
01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:55,800
Speaker 3: All right, Well, then I will say this go ahead.

1268
01:02:55,960 --> 01:03:01,640
Speaker 3: You know me, I believe that if if in a relationship,

1269
01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:05,360
Speaker 3: if a woman is thinking about her man and that

1270
01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:09,800
Speaker 3: man is thinking about her, all ends are covered. So

1271
01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:15,880
Speaker 3: you're giving me, you given to yourself. I'm not storing money.

1272
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:19,560
Speaker 3: If y'all ever get a chance to read Proverbs thirty one,

1273
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 3: this woman went and saw land, and she purchased it.

1274
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:26,000
Speaker 3: So it's like you given to yourself. So to even

1275
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,720
Speaker 3: have the mentality that anything you're putting in my hands

1276
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:31,520
Speaker 3: you're losing, is wrong. Off back, We are in the

1277
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:36,040
Speaker 3: wrong relationship because if we're really a team, babe, like

1278
01:03:36,880 --> 01:03:39,680
Speaker 3: this is an US thing. Every dollar is our dollar.

1279
01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 3: I don't know if you'll run out, ain't you glad?

1280
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 3: I got some Like look what I did with the

1281
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:48,479
Speaker 3: money you gave me. I just put it right here here,

1282
01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:51,440
Speaker 3: bab Like, why you gotta be so negative? A terrrist,

1283
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:56,200
Speaker 3: That's all I'm asking. Why are you so pessimistic?

1284
01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:01,440
Speaker 1: Listen, listen, I just talked. So I just told my fiance.

1285
01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:05,480
Speaker 1: I just told my fiance. My fiance like I said that.

1286
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:09,720
Speaker 1: Like I said that. So I told my fiance the

1287
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:11,640
Speaker 1: other day I sent her some money and she was like,

1288
01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:13,480
Speaker 1: she was like, oh, you just sent that. I said,

1289
01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:16,600
Speaker 1: just transferring accounts, I said, I look at it as

1290
01:04:16,600 --> 01:04:18,520
Speaker 1: he's just going from my account to your account. It's

1291
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 1: just it's all the same pot. So that's how I think.

1292
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:24,640
Speaker 1: I'm just saying when you talk, because on social media,

1293
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:27,880
Speaker 1: what happens is when you start putting videos like that out,

1294
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:32,880
Speaker 1: then people get the ideology that because their man can't

1295
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:35,280
Speaker 1: do one hundred and fifty thousand dollars because he had

1296
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:39,240
Speaker 1: six kids with her then, and then now he feels

1297
01:04:39,320 --> 01:04:41,320
Speaker 1: less than a man because she's because that woman will

1298
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:44,280
Speaker 1: show that video. Look look at what he did right here.

1299
01:04:45,160 --> 01:04:47,160
Speaker 1: It's that nice. You didn't give me one hundred and

1300
01:04:47,160 --> 01:04:49,880
Speaker 1: fifty dollars. He gave her. So it starts making men

1301
01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:53,439
Speaker 1: feel inferior. And I always watched the spirit of a thing,

1302
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:56,400
Speaker 1: and so what happens is is that I recognize that

1303
01:04:56,440 --> 01:05:00,920
Speaker 1: there's a spiritual influence that's keeping black men and black

1304
01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:06,120
Speaker 1: women divided by any means necessary. It's happening so much.

1305
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:08,680
Speaker 1: And so that's what I'm trying to eradicate. So it's

1306
01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:11,480
Speaker 1: not a dollar amount what you say, So I'm sorry,

1307
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:13,439
Speaker 1: go ahead.

1308
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:16,760
Speaker 2: What you have highlighted, though, is the disparity that a

1309
01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:19,320
Speaker 2: woman whose man can do that, can she not celebrate

1310
01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:19,760
Speaker 2: him for that?

1311
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:23,000
Speaker 1: Well, it's not her doing it, it's him seeing the video.

1312
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:25,760
Speaker 1: It's him making the video. It's not like she's saying,

1313
01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:27,720
Speaker 1: look at what she just says there silent and he

1314
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:29,120
Speaker 1: throwing money on it and doing it.

1315
01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:31,040
Speaker 2: Can he not celebrate that he has the fact to

1316
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:33,200
Speaker 2: be able to praise his wife like that for the

1317
01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:37,880
Speaker 2: gift that she has just given him. I mean, I

1318
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:41,920
Speaker 2: don't understand because if he has it, So the premise

1319
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:46,160
Speaker 2: of what what I've hearing you say is the premise

1320
01:05:46,240 --> 01:05:50,120
Speaker 2: is that the issue is it's the one hundred and fifty thousand,

1321
01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:53,280
Speaker 2: But to Bill Gates, one hundred and fifty thousand is nothing.

1322
01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:55,840
Speaker 2: And so we don't know this man's bank account. So

1323
01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:57,960
Speaker 2: while we count this man bank account and think it's

1324
01:05:57,960 --> 01:06:00,640
Speaker 2: such an extravagant gift because to him and may the pennies,

1325
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:03,680
Speaker 2: but just because it's just because it's a lot to us,

1326
01:06:04,040 --> 01:06:07,440
Speaker 2: So are we not supposed to what to say?

1327
01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:07,680
Speaker 1: Something?

1328
01:06:07,720 --> 01:06:10,720
Speaker 6: Go yeah, I think I'm gonna get you back on

1329
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:12,560
Speaker 6: this one.

1330
01:06:13,960 --> 01:06:23,160
Speaker 4: I know That's why I got my guard ran. No.

1331
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:28,120
Speaker 6: Look, I think that it's the spirit of it. It

1332
01:06:28,200 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 6: shouldn't feel transactional. If I'm paying for a child like

1333
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:40,280
Speaker 6: a vending machine, that's weird. But if i'm but if

1334
01:06:40,320 --> 01:06:45,360
Speaker 6: i'm I'm pouring love, whether it was our new child,

1335
01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:50,440
Speaker 6: some of our wealth, or whatever that may be, it

1336
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:52,320
Speaker 6: is what it is. To your point, is just moving

1337
01:06:52,360 --> 01:06:54,640
Speaker 6: from one pocket to the other, as long as it's

1338
01:06:54,680 --> 01:06:57,200
Speaker 6: not transactional. But I think the question is, like, what

1339
01:06:57,240 --> 01:06:58,560
Speaker 6: are we here for? Are we here to be each

1340
01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:02,320
Speaker 6: other's number one fan or are we you know, playing

1341
01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:05,600
Speaker 6: that game that I'm acting like I'm in the position

1342
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:07,440
Speaker 6: of number one fan, But I'm not really here for

1343
01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:09,040
Speaker 6: you like that, bro. I just want to you know,

1344
01:07:09,320 --> 01:07:11,200
Speaker 6: what do we you know? I think we just have

1345
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:13,560
Speaker 6: to be transparent and real with each other and.

1346
01:07:13,440 --> 01:07:18,040
Speaker 2: Not I'm never look at because I think what's the

1347
01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:20,680
Speaker 2: deeper thing in what that calls out though, is that

1348
01:07:20,760 --> 01:07:23,640
Speaker 2: you look at that as transactional because that's your lens

1349
01:07:23,840 --> 01:07:26,200
Speaker 2: and so he may not look at that. So one

1350
01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:28,320
Speaker 2: of the things I have to I'm six feet when

1351
01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:29,840
Speaker 2: I walk into a room. I walk into a room.

1352
01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:32,240
Speaker 2: And so when people say, oh, you're so intimidating, I'm

1353
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:36,560
Speaker 2: not intimidating. You are intimidated. That's your view. And so

1354
01:07:36,760 --> 01:07:39,120
Speaker 2: you have to understand when it comes to social media,

1355
01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:42,280
Speaker 2: you have to realize the construct of who you are

1356
01:07:42,320 --> 01:07:45,480
Speaker 2: and how your mentality is of what you're viewing, because

1357
01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:47,920
Speaker 2: that's not necessarily what someone is putting out there. That's

1358
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:52,000
Speaker 2: what you're reading into it. And those are two different things.

1359
01:07:52,040 --> 01:07:55,520
Speaker 4: And I'm not I guess no, please finish.

1360
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:59,440
Speaker 2: No, I'm just saying, but we we put a lot

1361
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:02,320
Speaker 2: on others people, and we don't do the work to

1362
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:03,439
Speaker 2: check ourselves.

1363
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:04,640
Speaker 4: I agree.

1364
01:08:04,880 --> 01:08:07,920
Speaker 6: I think I'm just stating from the fact of when

1365
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:11,400
Speaker 6: we see something happen in three seconds on our screen,

1366
01:08:12,680 --> 01:08:17,200
Speaker 6: it feels it can come across transactional. We don't know

1367
01:08:17,320 --> 01:08:20,280
Speaker 6: the whole spirit of what just happened. That's all I'm saying.

1368
01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:23,280
Speaker 4: Well, shee, So I think two things.

1369
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:28,120
Speaker 5: One, I think you're speaking to towards there's an expectation

1370
01:08:28,920 --> 01:08:30,840
Speaker 5: of a gift of something of that nature. And I

1371
01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:33,960
Speaker 5: think this whole push present is I mean, that's social

1372
01:08:34,040 --> 01:08:36,519
Speaker 5: media generated in general. If we're even talking about the

1373
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:39,639
Speaker 5: word the premise is social media generated. Because my father

1374
01:08:39,680 --> 01:08:42,320
Speaker 5: didn't give my mother a push present in the seventies,

1375
01:08:42,760 --> 01:08:45,160
Speaker 5: but did he appreciate her and do something for her

1376
01:08:45,600 --> 01:08:46,759
Speaker 5: that she well deserved.

1377
01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:49,080
Speaker 4: Sure, I'm sure he did and did I do the same.

1378
01:08:49,520 --> 01:08:51,600
Speaker 5: But at the same time, we're gonna keep it. Do

1379
01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:53,080
Speaker 5: you want to keep it one hundred in here? Let's

1380
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:55,080
Speaker 5: say one hundred. There's not a lot of men in this,

1381
01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:56,680
Speaker 5: but I wanna speak to the men to what you

1382
01:08:56,720 --> 01:09:00,479
Speaker 5: said earlier about the money being made.

1383
01:09:00,320 --> 01:09:02,240
Speaker 4: And things of that nature. So you can speak to

1384
01:09:02,280 --> 01:09:04,160
Speaker 4: your experience and you can speak to yours as well.

1385
01:09:04,200 --> 01:09:06,360
Speaker 5: But when you talk to other men that in a

1386
01:09:06,400 --> 01:09:09,599
Speaker 5: circle of professional men who are doing well, sometimes men

1387
01:09:09,640 --> 01:09:13,920
Speaker 5: feel like my money is our money and your money

1388
01:09:14,080 --> 01:09:17,880
Speaker 5: is your money. And that's not that's a real thing.

1389
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:19,680
Speaker 4: So that's the thing that we need to unpack and

1390
01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:20,400
Speaker 4: have to talk about.

1391
01:09:20,400 --> 01:09:24,840
Speaker 5: Because when women and men disagree, that's okay. Women from

1392
01:09:24,840 --> 01:09:26,639
Speaker 5: mars women for meness, that's fine. But at the same

1393
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:28,320
Speaker 5: time we need to get on some sort of common

1394
01:09:28,320 --> 01:09:31,240
Speaker 5: ground because now it's changed from the battle of the sexiest.

1395
01:09:31,280 --> 01:09:32,120
Speaker 4: Oh that's kind of cute.

1396
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:34,280
Speaker 5: Now it's a war between the sexiest, and that's not

1397
01:09:34,320 --> 01:09:36,120
Speaker 5: good because I want to see black families and black

1398
01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:38,120
Speaker 5: people come together and be married and then be able

1399
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:39,640
Speaker 5: to take on and do what the world has out

1400
01:09:39,680 --> 01:09:40,200
Speaker 5: there for us.

1401
01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:43,000
Speaker 4: Right. So with that being said, sometimes we feel that way.

1402
01:09:43,040 --> 01:09:45,640
Speaker 5: Sometimes we feel that And women, y'all can tell me

1403
01:09:45,680 --> 01:09:48,200
Speaker 5: if I'm wrong. You were bought, you were taught and

1404
01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:50,120
Speaker 5: raised to have a little something on the side, keeping

1405
01:09:50,120 --> 01:09:51,640
Speaker 5: something for the rain to day, keep something for that

1406
01:09:51,720 --> 01:09:53,280
Speaker 5: man messes up, keep something this.

1407
01:09:53,160 --> 01:09:55,840
Speaker 4: That and the third. So I gotta call some cap

1408
01:09:55,880 --> 01:09:58,160
Speaker 4: on that like y'all clapping ha hahakikiki.

1409
01:09:58,360 --> 01:10:00,720
Speaker 5: But y'all have been talked to that some and men

1410
01:10:00,760 --> 01:10:03,200
Speaker 5: feel that way. Men feel our money. I mean, my

1411
01:10:03,240 --> 01:10:05,000
Speaker 5: money is ours and yours is yours.

1412
01:10:05,080 --> 01:10:09,840
Speaker 3: We do okay, thank you, I feel you.

1413
01:10:09,960 --> 01:10:10,920
Speaker 2: I've got you.

1414
01:10:12,240 --> 01:10:14,000
Speaker 3: Now Here's how I feel about it, and it's just

1415
01:10:14,120 --> 01:10:21,479
Speaker 3: my my individual emotions. The thing is, men, y'all are

1416
01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:26,640
Speaker 3: beautiful by the way, I'm attracted to men. Okay, So

1417
01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:28,760
Speaker 3: everything I'm about to say it, I don't know this

1418
01:10:28,960 --> 01:10:31,840
Speaker 3: me too moving, y'all. I love man. Y'all are beautiful.

1419
01:10:32,479 --> 01:10:36,040
Speaker 3: So the thing is, because in the slave days you

1420
01:10:36,160 --> 01:10:41,880
Speaker 3: all were breeded. You have so many attractions. You have,

1421
01:10:42,080 --> 01:10:45,960
Speaker 3: so your eyes are so wandery. Women are very observant

1422
01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:49,679
Speaker 3: of that. Now, while you're coming from a pure place,

1423
01:10:50,320 --> 01:10:53,040
Speaker 3: a woman can see how immature you are. But you're

1424
01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:56,599
Speaker 3: in your skin. You don't know what she looking at.

1425
01:10:56,920 --> 01:10:59,479
Speaker 3: You don't know she's been equipped to see you beyond

1426
01:10:59,520 --> 01:11:02,040
Speaker 3: where you are, where you're supposed to be, where she

1427
01:11:02,120 --> 01:11:05,760
Speaker 3: can take you. You have it, that's her superpower, that

1428
01:11:05,840 --> 01:11:08,439
Speaker 3: is her gift. So she looking at you, and your

1429
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:12,000
Speaker 3: natural things are happening. A woman walk past you. She's

1430
01:11:12,120 --> 01:11:17,160
Speaker 3: paying attention to this. So what looks like, what looks

1431
01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:22,439
Speaker 3: like selfishness, is really like, am I gonna fight for this?

1432
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:26,240
Speaker 3: Because I'm watching his process? He don't even know. I'm

1433
01:11:26,280 --> 01:11:29,240
Speaker 3: seeing little details. He's showing me what we're about to

1434
01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:32,040
Speaker 3: be like. Now, I can either pick this fight. I

1435
01:11:32,040 --> 01:11:34,320
Speaker 3: could call it out. You're gonna tell me I'm wrong

1436
01:11:34,360 --> 01:11:37,880
Speaker 3: because I know his emotional intelligence. All right, I'm gonna

1437
01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:39,679
Speaker 3: chuck it. But here's what I'm gonna do. I gotta

1438
01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:44,120
Speaker 3: be wise. A woman has so many factors to incorporate

1439
01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:47,160
Speaker 3: when she is thinking about a man. Because you all

1440
01:11:47,200 --> 01:11:50,639
Speaker 3: are beautiful, but you are in process, just like we are.

1441
01:11:50,800 --> 01:11:54,800
Speaker 3: It's different processes. How you are processed. We can see

1442
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:58,160
Speaker 3: how we process you can see. It's respect on both sides.

1443
01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:03,479
Speaker 3: I just think that if a woman till my beautiful

1444
01:12:03,520 --> 01:12:07,640
Speaker 3: sister's point, you don't know our bodies and the transition

1445
01:12:07,880 --> 01:12:13,040
Speaker 3: of life to life and the sacrifice of being one

1446
01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:15,880
Speaker 3: with something and it being taken out of your body.

1447
01:12:16,200 --> 01:12:20,160
Speaker 3: It's not an expectation of money. But do you not

1448
01:12:20,360 --> 01:12:25,679
Speaker 3: understand what just happened. Your legacy is here, like your

1449
01:12:25,880 --> 01:12:31,280
Speaker 3: namesafe is here, your continuation is here. I am forever

1450
01:12:31,439 --> 01:12:34,080
Speaker 3: etched in your life. Look what I did for you.

1451
01:12:34,080 --> 01:12:38,080
Speaker 3: You telling me you're just gonna say, oh right, that's ours. Nah, baby,

1452
01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:41,519
Speaker 3: I had this one for ten months. I had him,

1453
01:12:42,040 --> 01:12:45,640
Speaker 3: and now this is about to be cultivated everything you.

1454
01:12:46,560 --> 01:12:50,880
Speaker 3: I'm gonna make sure he's completely infused with you. I

1455
01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:53,200
Speaker 3: need your family line to be good. I need your

1456
01:12:53,240 --> 01:12:56,160
Speaker 3: grandparents to be proud. I'm about to infuse this baby

1457
01:12:56,160 --> 01:12:57,479
Speaker 3: with you, and you tell him you can't give me

1458
01:12:57,520 --> 01:13:01,440
Speaker 3: no flowers. Yeah, Yes, I have high expectations.

1459
01:13:01,479 --> 01:13:01,679
Speaker 4: One.

1460
01:13:02,880 --> 01:13:06,479
Speaker 3: I think that is wrong for any woman not to

1461
01:13:06,600 --> 01:13:10,320
Speaker 3: challenge a man to continue to arise to his greatest self. Yes,

1462
01:13:10,439 --> 01:13:13,719
Speaker 3: expect greatness from me. Expect me to take care of you.

1463
01:13:14,120 --> 01:13:17,479
Speaker 3: Expect that why you think I'm here. Absolutely, I'm about

1464
01:13:17,520 --> 01:13:19,360
Speaker 3: to take care of you, about to be good, But

1465
01:13:19,479 --> 01:13:23,720
Speaker 3: I expect me to be good too. Don't make me

1466
01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:27,559
Speaker 3: feel bad for expecting that. Go ahead, go ahead, talk,

1467
01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:29,960
Speaker 3: you're talking, so go ahead.

1468
01:13:32,240 --> 01:13:38,360
Speaker 5: There's a lot of words salad, because we went from

1469
01:13:38,400 --> 01:13:42,040
Speaker 5: talking about men feeling our money is your money, Your

1470
01:13:42,080 --> 01:13:45,400
Speaker 5: money is yours. Then back to the childbirth where I said,

1471
01:13:45,680 --> 01:13:48,639
Speaker 5: it's definitely something that a man should pour into a woman.

1472
01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:51,280
Speaker 4: He brings his legs. You right, but.

1473
01:13:51,240 --> 01:13:56,920
Speaker 5: Then you would you equated that with paying attention to

1474
01:13:56,960 --> 01:14:00,280
Speaker 5: a man who's his wandering eye.

1475
01:14:00,560 --> 01:14:03,559
Speaker 3: No, no, no again, this is another one. Do you see

1476
01:14:03,560 --> 01:14:07,920
Speaker 3: this moment? We just had to tell you. That's what

1477
01:14:08,000 --> 01:14:08,320
Speaker 3: I heard.

1478
01:14:08,320 --> 01:14:09,679
Speaker 4: That's what I heard.

1479
01:14:09,800 --> 01:14:14,479
Speaker 5: I heard you, okay, I heard you bring your point

1480
01:14:14,640 --> 01:14:17,599
Speaker 5: to saying what you have to observe men because men

1481
01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:19,680
Speaker 5: are naturally wired like this.

1482
01:14:19,880 --> 01:14:23,120
Speaker 3: I don't have to I just do this is this.

1483
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:23,720
Speaker 4: Is a gift.

1484
01:14:24,800 --> 01:14:27,840
Speaker 5: So meanwhile, you said you observe men while you say

1485
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:31,520
Speaker 5: you love men, right, but while observing Michael.

1486
01:14:31,320 --> 01:14:32,400
Speaker 1: Says, you're cautious.

1487
01:14:34,200 --> 01:14:37,960
Speaker 5: Sorry, you're saying that you're cautious while you observe them.

1488
01:14:38,040 --> 01:14:40,799
Speaker 5: And that's why you may hold back and be more cautious,

1489
01:14:40,840 --> 01:14:43,880
Speaker 5: because what I was talking about is women saving things

1490
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:47,080
Speaker 5: rainy day type stuff because she's never sure if this

1491
01:14:47,160 --> 01:14:49,280
Speaker 5: is going to work out. And based off of that,

1492
01:14:49,320 --> 01:14:51,719
Speaker 5: you said how men are naturally wired and you see

1493
01:14:51,720 --> 01:14:52,599
Speaker 5: how this man.

1494
01:14:52,520 --> 01:14:54,800
Speaker 3: Makely No, that's not what I said.

1495
01:14:54,840 --> 01:14:57,920
Speaker 4: Okay, Please, I have no problem.

1496
01:14:57,680 --> 01:15:01,240
Speaker 3: Reiterating into your point. You covered both. You covered the

1497
01:15:01,280 --> 01:15:03,280
Speaker 3: baby side of things. I want to address that, so

1498
01:15:03,320 --> 01:15:05,240
Speaker 3: I hope you didn't merge all of them together, but

1499
01:15:05,280 --> 01:15:10,400
Speaker 3: I got you. So, So when it comes to when

1500
01:15:10,479 --> 01:15:14,719
Speaker 3: it comes to how you position the statement of ladies,

1501
01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:18,080
Speaker 3: let's be real, y'all been taught to stash some when

1502
01:15:18,160 --> 01:15:20,760
Speaker 3: you come from that point. That's why I drove the

1503
01:15:20,840 --> 01:15:25,559
Speaker 3: point of women have the ability to observe. That is

1504
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:30,240
Speaker 3: our natural gift. So if you find a woman and

1505
01:15:30,280 --> 01:15:33,559
Speaker 3: she tucking away, if she's actually a good woman, she's

1506
01:15:33,760 --> 01:15:38,600
Speaker 3: just observed some things. That's not all situations and circumstances.

1507
01:15:39,680 --> 01:15:41,760
Speaker 3: This woman is looking at a good man and so

1508
01:15:41,920 --> 01:15:44,599
Speaker 3: now she's saving it for a rainy day. My baby

1509
01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:47,320
Speaker 3: working hard, Bay, I got this money over here. He

1510
01:15:47,320 --> 01:15:50,160
Speaker 3: don't even know it. But I'm a surprise him with something.

1511
01:15:50,720 --> 01:15:54,880
Speaker 3: So it's a matter of what she's seeing. It's how

1512
01:15:54,880 --> 01:15:58,360
Speaker 3: she's gonna use whatever it is, her auntie, her uncle,

1513
01:15:58,439 --> 01:16:00,000
Speaker 3: you know. That's all. That's all I'm saying.

1514
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:00,880
Speaker 12: No, I get it.

1515
01:16:00,960 --> 01:16:01,639
Speaker 4: No, no, it's great.

1516
01:16:01,680 --> 01:16:05,080
Speaker 5: But you did you not mention when you said a

1517
01:16:05,160 --> 01:16:10,920
Speaker 5: man will observe and yeah, wait, I'm sorry, while you're

1518
01:16:10,920 --> 01:16:13,519
Speaker 5: observing a man, right and if he looks and a

1519
01:16:13,560 --> 01:16:16,479
Speaker 5: woman passes by, did you not mention something of that nature.

1520
01:16:16,479 --> 01:16:19,200
Speaker 3: As an example that a woman, a woman can be

1521
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:21,720
Speaker 3: paying attention to a natural state of a man, just

1522
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:25,800
Speaker 3: seeing something beautiful for her, for her.

1523
01:16:25,560 --> 01:16:28,360
Speaker 5: State of a man. So you're saying, that's natural for

1524
01:16:28,400 --> 01:16:31,400
Speaker 5: a man to do. So that's what I'm asking.

1525
01:16:31,520 --> 01:16:33,479
Speaker 3: I think this is fantastic.

1526
01:16:35,160 --> 01:16:39,599
Speaker 4: Because I heard you say it's natural for a man.

1527
01:16:40,120 --> 01:16:42,240
Speaker 3: It's fantastic. I don't think it's no, no, no, no,

1528
01:16:42,560 --> 01:16:44,719
Speaker 3: that's what we got. We got. We got this twenty

1529
01:16:44,720 --> 01:16:48,200
Speaker 3: five year old, amazing king right here. I agree, who

1530
01:16:48,240 --> 01:16:52,200
Speaker 3: has already surrounded himself a good counsel, who has prepared

1531
01:16:52,280 --> 01:16:54,679
Speaker 3: the way for his mind to already be in position

1532
01:16:55,400 --> 01:16:58,320
Speaker 3: so that he can be successful in his endeavor with

1533
01:16:58,400 --> 01:17:01,320
Speaker 3: this woman. This is all what your point proven right here.

1534
01:17:01,439 --> 01:17:06,240
Speaker 3: What I'm saying is generationally it is in the blood.

1535
01:17:07,560 --> 01:17:10,160
Speaker 3: It is in the blood for there to be certain

1536
01:17:10,320 --> 01:17:13,760
Speaker 3: personality traits to come out. Now, as you already said,

1537
01:17:13,800 --> 01:17:17,200
Speaker 3: you had done the work, what is this work. There's

1538
01:17:17,400 --> 01:17:20,519
Speaker 3: challenges throughout your upbringing that you have had to do

1539
01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:22,320
Speaker 3: the works in order to be on ready to love.

1540
01:17:22,800 --> 01:17:26,439
Speaker 3: That's everybody's journey. However, everybody don't take that journey the

1541
01:17:26,479 --> 01:17:29,800
Speaker 3: same way. If you decide to prematurely get with a

1542
01:17:29,840 --> 01:17:33,719
Speaker 3: woman before you go through your own journey, your own shedding,

1543
01:17:33,800 --> 01:17:38,120
Speaker 3: your pruning, if that happens, and this woman is brave

1544
01:17:38,240 --> 01:17:41,439
Speaker 3: enough to take you up on herself, even if she's

1545
01:17:41,520 --> 01:17:46,000
Speaker 3: done the work. If this happens, she has to watch you.

1546
01:17:46,600 --> 01:17:49,240
Speaker 3: If you want her to help, she has to watch you.

1547
01:17:49,720 --> 01:17:52,439
Speaker 3: She has to pay attention to details. She got to

1548
01:17:52,520 --> 01:17:55,640
Speaker 3: be in there. If you want the help, if you

1549
01:17:55,640 --> 01:17:59,720
Speaker 3: could do it yourself, you would, So here she is,

1550
01:18:00,720 --> 01:18:04,800
Speaker 3: and she's fully equipped. This is a natural thing.

1551
01:18:04,880 --> 01:18:05,160
Speaker 8: We have.

1552
01:18:05,560 --> 01:18:08,080
Speaker 3: We looking at everything, We hear things. That's not said.

1553
01:18:08,360 --> 01:18:11,439
Speaker 3: We got two ears, two eyes too. No, we're smelling everything.

1554
01:18:11,640 --> 01:18:13,800
Speaker 3: So we're just paying attention We're looking at you in

1555
01:18:13,840 --> 01:18:16,759
Speaker 3: your natural state of being, and it just so happened

1556
01:18:16,960 --> 01:18:21,760
Speaker 3: that your hangup is a big budd She like, there,

1557
01:18:21,840 --> 01:18:24,800
Speaker 3: he go, what I'm about to do with that? Then

1558
01:18:24,840 --> 01:18:29,960
Speaker 3: he go looking okay, either I'm going to address it.

1559
01:18:31,120 --> 01:18:32,640
Speaker 3: But now I got to see if he even know

1560
01:18:32,720 --> 01:18:36,280
Speaker 3: he doing that, because now this is a potential for

1561
01:18:36,360 --> 01:18:40,200
Speaker 3: you to downgrade and invalidate my feelings and my experience.

1562
01:18:40,560 --> 01:18:43,720
Speaker 3: Do I want that? Some women still want that when

1563
01:18:43,760 --> 01:18:46,639
Speaker 3: you get older. I don't want that. I don't want

1564
01:18:46,640 --> 01:18:48,760
Speaker 3: to argue with you. I'm watching you. Do I want

1565
01:18:48,800 --> 01:18:51,479
Speaker 3: to take this challenge on or not? That's my choice.

1566
01:18:52,200 --> 01:18:53,920
Speaker 3: Do I want to do this? And that's all I'm saying.

1567
01:18:53,920 --> 01:18:57,080
Speaker 3: I don't mean no harm. You kept bringing up I like, man, Yeah,

1568
01:18:57,200 --> 01:18:59,560
Speaker 3: I appreciate me. I am not a man hater. No

1569
01:18:59,720 --> 01:19:02,479
Speaker 3: me here, you guys are great game.

1570
01:19:02,680 --> 01:19:06,480
Speaker 4: I don't know, and I love this type of dialogue.

1571
01:19:06,479 --> 01:19:09,000
Speaker 5: But I think more men and women need to have

1572
01:19:09,040 --> 01:19:12,160
Speaker 5: these things because we do have different opinions in different

1573
01:19:12,200 --> 01:19:15,160
Speaker 5: thought processes. That's what makes us unique. At the end

1574
01:19:15,160 --> 01:19:17,640
Speaker 5: of the day. What I'm saying is those things, and

1575
01:19:17,680 --> 01:19:20,559
Speaker 5: then what we hear in a group of primary primarily women,

1576
01:19:21,040 --> 01:19:23,280
Speaker 5: we hear certain things and we hear yes girl, yes girl,

1577
01:19:23,360 --> 01:19:23,840
Speaker 5: yes girl.

1578
01:19:24,080 --> 01:19:28,320
Speaker 4: But most women in here want a man, so we're

1579
01:19:28,360 --> 01:19:30,240
Speaker 4: not that bad. And that's all I'm saying.

1580
01:19:30,240 --> 01:19:32,280
Speaker 5: So for men, we need to fix what we have

1581
01:19:32,400 --> 01:19:34,960
Speaker 5: to work on to be there and present and be

1582
01:19:35,080 --> 01:19:37,240
Speaker 5: the right man for that woman when she comes along,

1583
01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:38,800
Speaker 5: and once we present ourselves.

1584
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:43,600
Speaker 1: Absolutely absolutely, thank you y'all giving up for this is

1585
01:19:44,280 --> 01:19:46,439
Speaker 1: and I allow that to go on because I want

1586
01:19:46,479 --> 01:19:48,880
Speaker 1: to hear could they get to a place of resolution?

1587
01:19:49,080 --> 01:19:52,799
Speaker 1: Could you get to a place accepting the differences? Because

1588
01:19:52,840 --> 01:19:57,080
Speaker 1: what happens in conversations like that sometimes you can get

1589
01:19:57,120 --> 01:19:59,840
Speaker 1: too heated. You know, y'all may have experienced that talking

1590
01:19:59,880 --> 01:20:03,120
Speaker 1: to your significant others where it gets too he didn't

1591
01:20:03,200 --> 01:20:05,040
Speaker 1: y'all get mad and hang up the phone on each other.

1592
01:20:05,320 --> 01:20:07,599
Speaker 1: But it should be a place where y'all could have

1593
01:20:07,600 --> 01:20:09,760
Speaker 1: a conversation, hear each other out, and even if you

1594
01:20:09,800 --> 01:20:11,960
Speaker 1: don't agree, you agree to disagree and be like, all right,

1595
01:20:11,960 --> 01:20:14,599
Speaker 1: well that's cool. You know what I'm saying. I love

1596
01:20:14,680 --> 01:20:17,760
Speaker 1: intelligent conversation like that, So thank y'all for displaying that

1597
01:20:18,080 --> 01:20:23,439
Speaker 1: right in front of us. I appreciate that. Pastor King,

1598
01:20:25,360 --> 01:20:31,720
Speaker 1: how did you meet Nicole. Lady Nicole, No, I ain't

1599
01:20:31,760 --> 01:20:35,479
Speaker 1: gonna ask you. I'm gonna ask lady the cold lady, Nicole,

1600
01:20:35,520 --> 01:20:37,320
Speaker 1: how did y'all get here?

1601
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:40,559
Speaker 2: Okay, so I'll go all the way back. We knew

1602
01:20:40,560 --> 01:20:43,280
Speaker 2: each other in middle school and high school. He was

1603
01:20:43,280 --> 01:20:45,920
Speaker 2: an upper classman, so we actually met. I think I

1604
01:20:46,000 --> 01:20:48,280
Speaker 2: was in sixth grade. Were in seventh grade or seventh

1605
01:20:48,280 --> 01:20:52,120
Speaker 2: grade and eighth grade. We didn't like each other, and

1606
01:20:52,160 --> 01:20:52,799
Speaker 2: then we.

1607
01:20:52,680 --> 01:20:54,920
Speaker 1: Went on to y'all like each other.

1608
01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:57,559
Speaker 2: We didn't know each other. We didn't know each other. Okay, okay,

1609
01:20:57,600 --> 01:21:01,360
Speaker 2: so you're right. We didn't each other in middle schools.

1610
01:21:01,439 --> 01:21:02,000
Speaker 8: We didn't.

1611
01:21:03,160 --> 01:21:06,439
Speaker 2: We got to know each other in high school. And

1612
01:21:06,520 --> 01:21:09,599
Speaker 2: that's because he played football and I was in drill teams,

1613
01:21:09,600 --> 01:21:11,799
Speaker 2: so we would travel, would be at all the games together,

1614
01:21:11,960 --> 01:21:14,120
Speaker 2: so we knew of each other. We would speak, and

1615
01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:14,799
Speaker 2: that was it.

1616
01:21:15,400 --> 01:21:17,080
Speaker 4: Hearing for me all my life.

1617
01:21:19,320 --> 01:21:25,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that was many many years ago, and probably

1618
01:21:26,080 --> 01:21:32,720
Speaker 2: what was at two thousand and sixteen, he slid right

1619
01:21:32,760 --> 01:21:34,000
Speaker 2: in my DM.

1620
01:21:34,320 --> 01:21:35,160
Speaker 3: That's what he did.

1621
01:21:38,040 --> 01:21:40,360
Speaker 4: The Lord created dms for a reason.

1622
01:21:41,720 --> 01:21:44,080
Speaker 2: And this is what he said. He said, you're not

1623
01:21:44,160 --> 01:21:46,200
Speaker 2: the same Nicole I remember from high school.

1624
01:21:47,080 --> 01:21:49,439
Speaker 4: Hold on what that means post boy.

1625
01:21:49,600 --> 01:21:53,800
Speaker 11: Let me tell you. So middle school and high school.

1626
01:21:53,880 --> 01:21:57,080
Speaker 11: You know, she was a little skinny something tall. She

1627
01:21:57,280 --> 01:21:59,160
Speaker 11: was cute, but you know, I try to go cute,

1628
01:22:00,040 --> 01:22:02,160
Speaker 11: little heathen in ways. I didn't want to corrupt the

1629
01:22:02,280 --> 01:22:04,519
Speaker 11: you know, a little young que doesn't. I'm gonna leave

1630
01:22:04,560 --> 01:22:07,800
Speaker 11: our Lord. We'll let him make it right. So you know,

1631
01:22:07,920 --> 01:22:10,000
Speaker 11: through all the years, you know, so we never you know,

1632
01:22:10,040 --> 01:22:12,400
Speaker 11: I knew our friends and and think of that nature.

1633
01:22:12,439 --> 01:22:16,000
Speaker 11: But you know, we got older. The Lord had blessed,

1634
01:22:18,680 --> 01:22:22,679
Speaker 11: I saw, I saw the heavenless. I saw, I saw

1635
01:22:22,720 --> 01:22:27,840
Speaker 11: God had done some great things in her life. So

1636
01:22:28,400 --> 01:22:30,760
Speaker 11: and so uh yeah, so I mean I just checked it,

1637
01:22:30,840 --> 01:22:33,960
Speaker 11: checked it out, saw and I was like, yeah, that's

1638
01:22:33,640 --> 01:22:37,280
Speaker 11: the Lord that's filled it in places. He's a feeling god.

1639
01:22:38,360 --> 01:22:40,320
Speaker 11: He knows what the Lord of myself, you know what

1640
01:22:40,360 --> 01:22:40,679
Speaker 11: I want?

1641
01:22:41,000 --> 01:22:43,599
Speaker 4: All right? So that that's what.

1642
01:22:43,479 --> 01:22:46,160
Speaker 11: That means from an external person, because we didn't know

1643
01:22:46,400 --> 01:22:49,080
Speaker 11: each other, and so it was, you know, knowing eachthing

1644
01:22:49,120 --> 01:22:49,280
Speaker 11: like that.

1645
01:22:49,320 --> 01:22:50,000
Speaker 4: We knew each other.

1646
01:22:50,040 --> 01:22:52,800
Speaker 11: But and so then getting to talk to her and

1647
01:22:52,840 --> 01:22:55,519
Speaker 11: have conversation that that increased that.

1648
01:22:55,720 --> 01:22:57,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, so go ahead, and so what do you think

1649
01:22:57,200 --> 01:22:58,960
Speaker 1: when he slid in your DMS. What did he say?

1650
01:22:59,720 --> 01:23:02,080
Speaker 2: Okay, so he said you're not the same the color

1651
01:23:02,120 --> 01:23:04,400
Speaker 2: I remember, I think from biology or science or something

1652
01:23:04,439 --> 01:23:08,800
Speaker 2: like that. And then he said, hey, can we you know,

1653
01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:10,800
Speaker 2: can we be friends? That's exactly what he said.

1654
01:23:11,520 --> 01:23:13,960
Speaker 1: So when he's hold on, let me go back and

1655
01:23:14,000 --> 01:23:16,320
Speaker 1: into I gotta get the translation of that from a man.

1656
01:23:17,520 --> 01:23:20,200
Speaker 1: When you said be friends, what you mean by being friends?

1657
01:23:20,280 --> 01:23:21,519
Speaker 4: I didn't say be friends.

1658
01:23:23,080 --> 01:23:26,200
Speaker 11: She remembers that I would go back and find them DMS.

1659
01:23:27,400 --> 01:23:27,439
Speaker 14: No.

1660
01:23:27,880 --> 01:23:29,559
Speaker 4: I think one of the things was.

1661
01:23:31,240 --> 01:23:34,439
Speaker 11: I was interested in getting to know her because where

1662
01:23:34,439 --> 01:23:38,000
Speaker 11: I was in my journey, I knew what I wanted, right,

1663
01:23:38,120 --> 01:23:41,200
Speaker 11: So I'm not finna one go on your DMS one

1664
01:23:41,240 --> 01:23:43,599
Speaker 11: because I already knew who she was. So it was

1665
01:23:43,640 --> 01:23:46,439
Speaker 11: a safy thing. You know, people today they won't put

1666
01:23:46,479 --> 01:23:48,680
Speaker 11: all your DMS on everything. You can't even get to

1667
01:23:48,720 --> 01:23:51,000
Speaker 11: know nobody because they so be the trying to make

1668
01:23:51,080 --> 01:23:53,400
Speaker 11: money off of you, out you so you can't go

1669
01:23:53,479 --> 01:23:57,160
Speaker 11: in with some crazy person. So I felt safe enough

1670
01:23:57,800 --> 01:24:00,120
Speaker 11: to do that, And some men won't do that. If

1671
01:24:00,160 --> 01:24:02,799
Speaker 11: you ain't got none to lose, you just out here reckless.

1672
01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:03,599
Speaker 4: Right.

1673
01:24:03,920 --> 01:24:08,200
Speaker 11: I was intentional because I had studied her for a while,

1674
01:24:08,800 --> 01:24:12,839
Speaker 11: I understood her situation, and I became safe enough because

1675
01:24:12,920 --> 01:24:16,519
Speaker 11: I watched her social media before I ever approached her

1676
01:24:16,560 --> 01:24:19,800
Speaker 11: about it, and that told me some things about her

1677
01:24:19,880 --> 01:24:23,799
Speaker 11: that she's a safe enough person for me to approach.

1678
01:24:24,040 --> 01:24:25,400
Speaker 1: That's good, that's good.

1679
01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:29,320
Speaker 11: And so that led me to, all right, let me

1680
01:24:29,560 --> 01:24:34,320
Speaker 11: get a deeper look into who she is. I'm excited

1681
01:24:34,320 --> 01:24:37,200
Speaker 11: about what she looks like. But I you know, I

1682
01:24:37,280 --> 01:24:40,599
Speaker 11: was forty one, forty two. I'd seen Fine, I'd been

1683
01:24:40,640 --> 01:24:43,599
Speaker 11: with Fine all my life. That wouldn't I ain't choose

1684
01:24:43,640 --> 01:24:46,040
Speaker 11: no snacker tuos at bugle Wolf's all right, so I

1685
01:24:46,040 --> 01:24:47,320
Speaker 11: can go back in my history.

1686
01:24:47,920 --> 01:24:52,479
Speaker 4: I have no issues with that. So surface is fine.

1687
01:24:52,600 --> 01:24:54,720
Speaker 11: I was at a point in my life I need

1688
01:24:54,760 --> 01:24:59,280
Speaker 11: somebody to walk with, right, So I didn't need a project.

1689
01:25:00,160 --> 01:25:01,080
Speaker 4: I needed a partner.

1690
01:25:02,280 --> 01:25:07,400
Speaker 11: And so when I studied her, it gave me the

1691
01:25:07,439 --> 01:25:09,960
Speaker 11: reason to go ahead. And so I just wanted to

1692
01:25:10,000 --> 01:25:12,519
Speaker 11: get to know her, have dialogue with her, and talk

1693
01:25:12,600 --> 01:25:16,160
Speaker 11: with her a while before we even saw each other

1694
01:25:16,200 --> 01:25:16,679
Speaker 11: in person.

1695
01:25:16,800 --> 01:25:19,000
Speaker 4: But that's what we discussed. So that's kind of what

1696
01:25:19,040 --> 01:25:21,280
Speaker 4: that meant is, Hey, let's get to know each other.

1697
01:25:22,200 --> 01:25:24,679
Speaker 1: And so how what did you think of that moment?

1698
01:25:24,760 --> 01:25:26,840
Speaker 1: So clearly you were open to it, right or were

1699
01:25:26,840 --> 01:25:28,400
Speaker 1: you not open to it? Where were you at in

1700
01:25:28,439 --> 01:25:29,799
Speaker 1: your mind? Nicole?

1701
01:25:31,280 --> 01:25:35,120
Speaker 2: I was very nervous because you know, this is Pastor King,

1702
01:25:35,439 --> 01:25:38,200
Speaker 2: but I knew him as Marcus King, and so I

1703
01:25:38,320 --> 01:25:41,080
Speaker 2: was I was so nervous that I just wanted to

1704
01:25:41,160 --> 01:25:43,240
Speaker 2: chat with him a messenger. I need to want to

1705
01:25:43,240 --> 01:25:45,560
Speaker 2: talk to him on the phone, because I was extremely

1706
01:25:45,600 --> 01:25:49,280
Speaker 2: intimidated because it's not the same guy. He's intelligent, not

1707
01:25:49,400 --> 01:25:51,320
Speaker 2: that I'm not intelligent.

1708
01:25:50,680 --> 01:25:50,760
Speaker 3: And.

1709
01:25:55,600 --> 01:25:58,880
Speaker 2: He's a pastor, right, he's a pastor. So I was

1710
01:25:59,280 --> 01:26:01,960
Speaker 2: highly entamed, intimidated, and I didn't want to talk to

1711
01:26:02,080 --> 01:26:04,559
Speaker 2: my Tha was scared. So he said, this is not

1712
01:26:04,600 --> 01:26:07,800
Speaker 2: the way I want to communicate with you through messenger,

1713
01:26:08,200 --> 01:26:11,439
Speaker 2: but if this is what I can get, you know, okay,

1714
01:26:11,520 --> 01:26:14,200
Speaker 2: let's let's just go with it. And so he's I

1715
01:26:14,240 --> 01:26:17,040
Speaker 2: think he sent me his number. I didn't call, and

1716
01:26:17,080 --> 01:26:20,120
Speaker 2: I sent him my number and he called, and so

1717
01:26:20,720 --> 01:26:25,559
Speaker 2: and so we chatted for a few days and within

1718
01:26:25,600 --> 01:26:29,639
Speaker 2: a week because we knew each other, because I felt safe,

1719
01:26:29,920 --> 01:26:32,040
Speaker 2: he came to pick me up and we went out

1720
01:26:32,040 --> 01:26:34,280
Speaker 2: on a date. Yeah, I remember they came to pick

1721
01:26:34,320 --> 01:26:37,080
Speaker 2: me up, and literally that was like the happily ever

1722
01:26:37,320 --> 01:26:40,720
Speaker 2: after because when he came in, he shut whatever I

1723
01:26:40,840 --> 01:26:44,280
Speaker 2: was doing, he shut it down, completely shut it down.

1724
01:26:44,320 --> 01:26:45,560
Speaker 3: He was so intentional.

1725
01:26:45,600 --> 01:26:47,600
Speaker 2: It could be a Friday night I could do with

1726
01:26:47,640 --> 01:26:49,760
Speaker 2: my friends, like what you're doing, and I'm like, well

1727
01:26:49,760 --> 01:26:50,640
Speaker 2: I'm here, Oh I was.

1728
01:26:50,720 --> 01:26:51,360
Speaker 1: I want to see you.

1729
01:26:51,600 --> 01:26:55,120
Speaker 2: So now because I'm interested, I'm wrapping up whatever it

1730
01:26:55,200 --> 01:26:58,559
Speaker 2: is I'm doing so I can meet with him as exactly. So,

1731
01:26:58,720 --> 01:27:02,080
Speaker 2: cause he was intentional, he wasn't playing. I never felt

1732
01:27:02,160 --> 01:27:06,479
Speaker 2: the games with him, and that was scary because a

1733
01:27:06,479 --> 01:27:10,360
Speaker 2: lot of times women don't get that directness. Because he

1734
01:27:10,439 --> 01:27:14,800
Speaker 2: was able to tell me immediately what he wanted, what

1735
01:27:14,840 --> 01:27:18,360
Speaker 2: his purpose was, what God told him, He told me

1736
01:27:18,400 --> 01:27:20,080
Speaker 2: all of this. So so he just came and I

1737
01:27:20,080 --> 01:27:22,880
Speaker 2: don't care what I said to him, because I you know,

1738
01:27:23,160 --> 01:27:28,600
Speaker 2: I had been married and divorced, very broken, and I

1739
01:27:28,680 --> 01:27:31,719
Speaker 2: really thought God brought him into my life to help

1740
01:27:31,800 --> 01:27:34,840
Speaker 2: me through what I had just emotionally come out of,

1741
01:27:35,640 --> 01:27:38,400
Speaker 2: not knowing that he was going to be my husband. Yeah,

1742
01:27:38,439 --> 01:27:40,920
Speaker 2: so that's what I thought at first. But I'm saying

1743
01:27:40,960 --> 01:27:44,799
Speaker 2: that to say whatever I said to him, my sad story,

1744
01:27:44,840 --> 01:27:47,600
Speaker 2: which was true. It did not run him off. And

1745
01:27:47,680 --> 01:27:52,080
Speaker 2: I mean I told him everything everything. Nobody can come

1746
01:27:52,200 --> 01:27:55,840
Speaker 2: tell him anything about me that he does not already know,

1747
01:27:56,040 --> 01:27:57,840
Speaker 2: because that's how you live in your truth and you

1748
01:27:57,880 --> 01:28:02,599
Speaker 2: do not have to avoid conversations and people. I laid

1749
01:28:02,800 --> 01:28:05,320
Speaker 2: everything on the table, and all he said was I

1750
01:28:05,320 --> 01:28:07,920
Speaker 2: ain't scared of it, That's all he said. I'm not

1751
01:28:07,960 --> 01:28:11,679
Speaker 2: scared of at I'm like, okay. So you know, we dated.

1752
01:28:11,800 --> 01:28:14,160
Speaker 2: We started reading books.

1753
01:28:14,680 --> 01:28:15,280
Speaker 1: Excuse me.

1754
01:28:15,320 --> 01:28:18,639
Speaker 2: We started reading books every Thursday. I think it was.

1755
01:28:18,920 --> 01:28:23,519
Speaker 2: We would go to different yeah, Jason's Deli and Mansfeld

1756
01:28:23,520 --> 01:28:27,879
Speaker 2: lived in Mansfeld at the time, and we would read together.

1757
01:28:28,000 --> 01:28:30,000
Speaker 2: I'd beat a chapter, he'd beat a chapter. We go

1758
01:28:30,080 --> 01:28:34,120
Speaker 2: to the bookstore. It was just something different that I

1759
01:28:34,160 --> 01:28:38,519
Speaker 2: had never ever experienced. So he changed my mind because

1760
01:28:38,920 --> 01:28:41,400
Speaker 2: I didn't want to get married again. I didn't. I say,

1761
01:28:41,439 --> 01:28:43,800
Speaker 2: you know, it's gonna be my children. We just gonna

1762
01:28:43,840 --> 01:28:46,559
Speaker 2: hang out and hang out with my girlfriends. I made date,

1763
01:28:46,920 --> 01:28:50,040
Speaker 2: but it's not gonna be anything serious. And he came

1764
01:28:50,160 --> 01:28:53,880
Speaker 2: and he like intentionally, he was so intentional with me

1765
01:28:53,960 --> 01:28:56,479
Speaker 2: that he changed my mind. And then I just fell

1766
01:28:56,520 --> 01:28:59,479
Speaker 2: in love with the person that he is and how

1767
01:28:59,520 --> 01:29:03,479
Speaker 2: he accept to me flaws and all, yeah, falls and all.

1768
01:29:04,240 --> 01:29:07,880
Speaker 1: So were there moments where you were trying to sabotage

1769
01:29:07,960 --> 01:29:13,040
Speaker 1: the relationship? Lady? Were there moments where you tried to

1770
01:29:13,080 --> 01:29:16,600
Speaker 1: sabotage the relationship? He's coming with intentionality. You said you

1771
01:29:16,640 --> 01:29:18,479
Speaker 1: didn't even want to be married, so you said he

1772
01:29:18,520 --> 01:29:21,439
Speaker 1: had to change your mindset to even desire marriage again,

1773
01:29:22,560 --> 01:29:25,640
Speaker 1: you had three kids, right, you had three kids at

1774
01:29:25,680 --> 01:29:28,400
Speaker 1: the time. So now you got a transition if you

1775
01:29:28,479 --> 01:29:33,479
Speaker 1: take on this, this intentionality he's given you. Wow, Okay,

1776
01:29:33,560 --> 01:29:35,960
Speaker 1: now this is going to I have to introduce my

1777
01:29:36,160 --> 01:29:39,720
Speaker 1: kids to this man, and he's a pastor. It's a

1778
01:29:39,720 --> 01:29:42,040
Speaker 1: whole lot of transition that your mind has to go

1779
01:29:42,120 --> 01:29:44,639
Speaker 1: through put you in the position of being the first lady.

1780
01:29:45,000 --> 01:29:48,280
Speaker 1: So how did you reconcile that? Were you trying to

1781
01:29:48,320 --> 01:29:51,120
Speaker 1: sabotage relationship before it got there? And what that looked like?

1782
01:29:51,400 --> 01:29:54,559
Speaker 2: Well, I think I was kind of just telling him

1783
01:29:54,560 --> 01:29:57,160
Speaker 2: how it felt and that I was nervous. That was

1784
01:29:57,200 --> 01:30:02,160
Speaker 2: that was more afraid than anything than sabotaging the situation.

1785
01:30:02,600 --> 01:30:06,000
Speaker 2: I was just afraid, I really was. And once I researched,

1786
01:30:06,040 --> 01:30:09,400
Speaker 2: because I hadn't seen him what twenty something years. I

1787
01:30:09,439 --> 01:30:10,680
Speaker 2: may have seen him at a wedding. I may have

1788
01:30:10,680 --> 01:30:13,600
Speaker 2: seen him at a funeral and passing we would say hello,

1789
01:30:14,080 --> 01:30:16,360
Speaker 2: that was it. But I just did not feel like

1790
01:30:16,400 --> 01:30:20,000
Speaker 2: I was good enough to marry a pastor. That's just

1791
01:30:20,040 --> 01:30:22,640
Speaker 2: what it was. And I even told him that, I'm like,

1792
01:30:22,680 --> 01:30:26,400
Speaker 2: I listen, I've been married, have three kids. You know,

1793
01:30:26,439 --> 01:30:30,000
Speaker 2: I don't know that's it. I'm scared, and he was.

1794
01:30:30,040 --> 01:30:32,200
Speaker 2: He just talked me through it. He just was really

1795
01:30:32,200 --> 01:30:36,280
Speaker 2: good with talking and listening, and he made me comfortable,

1796
01:30:36,640 --> 01:30:39,680
Speaker 2: and he just reminded me of who I am. That

1797
01:30:39,800 --> 01:30:42,200
Speaker 2: you can't even see what God has put in you,

1798
01:30:42,360 --> 01:30:44,320
Speaker 2: is what he said to me. You can't even see that.

1799
01:30:44,560 --> 01:30:48,200
Speaker 2: And I couldn't. I couldn't see it. So he just

1800
01:30:48,720 --> 01:30:52,720
Speaker 2: was really good through a really really dark time for me,

1801
01:30:53,000 --> 01:30:54,759
Speaker 2: and I appreciate it so much.

1802
01:31:01,680 --> 01:31:04,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, Pastor King, how did you deal with that? What

1803
01:31:04,720 --> 01:31:07,760
Speaker 1: made you say that's it? I ain't scared of that?

1804
01:31:08,360 --> 01:31:11,120
Speaker 1: What made you? What made you think like that? When

1805
01:31:11,160 --> 01:31:13,200
Speaker 1: it came to her, Well.

1806
01:31:13,439 --> 01:31:17,160
Speaker 11: It wasn't even just her initially, right, I was in

1807
01:31:17,200 --> 01:31:20,599
Speaker 11: a place in my life and as you know, actually

1808
01:31:20,640 --> 01:31:23,439
Speaker 11: just on Tuesday, I've been preaching thirty two years, right,

1809
01:31:23,960 --> 01:31:25,840
Speaker 11: I've been in ministry thirty two years.

1810
01:31:25,880 --> 01:31:28,160
Speaker 1: Give it up, y'all, thirty two years.

1811
01:31:28,640 --> 01:31:31,320
Speaker 11: I grew up, you know, in the pastores home my

1812
01:31:32,320 --> 01:31:35,879
Speaker 11: father and mother. Before my father passed in twenty thirteen,

1813
01:31:36,680 --> 01:31:38,800
Speaker 11: they were on a way of making forty six years

1814
01:31:38,800 --> 01:31:42,880
Speaker 11: a marriage. So I had seen marriage. My grandparents have

1815
01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:44,479
Speaker 11: been married almost sixty years.

1816
01:31:44,520 --> 01:31:44,720
Speaker 4: Right.

1817
01:31:45,200 --> 01:31:50,640
Speaker 11: So marriage is what I always wanted, but I respected

1818
01:31:50,680 --> 01:31:53,280
Speaker 11: it enough not to just jump in one.

1819
01:31:54,760 --> 01:31:56,160
Speaker 4: And I think that's what the deal was.

1820
01:31:56,240 --> 01:32:02,080
Speaker 11: So I spent my time dedicating myself to living a

1821
01:32:02,200 --> 01:32:06,920
Speaker 11: life of intentionality. But I would not There were churches

1822
01:32:06,960 --> 01:32:10,200
Speaker 11: that would come to me that wanted me to just

1823
01:32:10,240 --> 01:32:12,280
Speaker 11: get married so I could pass to their church.

1824
01:32:12,840 --> 01:32:16,439
Speaker 4: I'm like, I gotta live with that woman, and you're.

1825
01:32:16,280 --> 01:32:18,439
Speaker 11: Gonna talk about it. You're gonna talk about me if

1826
01:32:18,439 --> 01:32:20,400
Speaker 11: it don't work. You see what I'm saying. And it's

1827
01:32:20,439 --> 01:32:22,600
Speaker 11: a lot of churches. And that's what you know. The

1828
01:32:22,840 --> 01:32:25,760
Speaker 11: generation we grew up in, even before people were just

1829
01:32:25,800 --> 01:32:27,719
Speaker 11: getting married and people wonder why a lot of pastors

1830
01:32:27,760 --> 01:32:30,000
Speaker 11: are getting divorced or a lot of cheatings going on

1831
01:32:30,120 --> 01:32:34,760
Speaker 11: because it was a business transaction. I grew up and

1832
01:32:34,800 --> 01:32:38,960
Speaker 11: I saw a real love. I saw a real relationship.

1833
01:32:39,280 --> 01:32:42,400
Speaker 11: I wasn't interested in a business transaction and I wasn't

1834
01:32:42,400 --> 01:32:45,920
Speaker 11: gonna do that. So I took the time and waited

1835
01:32:46,000 --> 01:32:49,840
Speaker 11: on God, and I dated some wonderful people, went through

1836
01:32:49,840 --> 01:32:52,600
Speaker 11: different things, And all I would say is, at that

1837
01:32:52,760 --> 01:32:56,639
Speaker 11: point in my life, I was clear for a while

1838
01:32:56,680 --> 01:33:00,000
Speaker 11: on what I wanted, but I still had to wait

1839
01:33:00,160 --> 01:33:03,960
Speaker 11: on God to give the clearance. Because just because you

1840
01:33:04,040 --> 01:33:07,640
Speaker 11: say you're ready doesn't mean God says it's time. And

1841
01:33:08,040 --> 01:33:10,800
Speaker 11: I want his time, his will, his way. So when

1842
01:33:11,320 --> 01:33:14,320
Speaker 11: you know I was a single man, and it's like

1843
01:33:14,520 --> 01:33:17,840
Speaker 11: the you know, the whole opposite of what everybody tried

1844
01:33:17,880 --> 01:33:18,160
Speaker 11: to say.

1845
01:33:18,200 --> 01:33:21,759
Speaker 4: Whatever. I was a single man. I had my own.

1846
01:33:23,479 --> 01:33:27,880
Speaker 11: House, have my own card, everything in my name. I got,

1847
01:33:28,000 --> 01:33:32,000
Speaker 11: had degrees, I written books. I was passion at the time.

1848
01:33:32,439 --> 01:33:34,720
Speaker 11: I was traveling around the world. I would travel to

1849
01:33:34,760 --> 01:33:37,920
Speaker 11: places by myself. I had a lot going on just

1850
01:33:37,960 --> 01:33:41,320
Speaker 11: as a single man, no kids, and so to be

1851
01:33:41,360 --> 01:33:45,000
Speaker 11: in space, in that space, I could make whatever decision

1852
01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:48,560
Speaker 11: I wanted to make. I wasn't dating out of desperation.

1853
01:33:49,240 --> 01:33:52,760
Speaker 11: I was dating because I knew God, this is where

1854
01:33:52,760 --> 01:33:55,599
Speaker 11: I wanted to be and I did not just date everybody. Now,

1855
01:33:55,640 --> 01:33:58,880
Speaker 11: of course, because I was single that long. I was

1856
01:33:58,920 --> 01:34:04,519
Speaker 11: engaged to people I never met. I'm still I'm still

1857
01:34:04,560 --> 01:34:07,160
Speaker 11: trying to find out some of these people I was

1858
01:34:07,200 --> 01:34:07,760
Speaker 11: engaged to.

1859
01:34:09,120 --> 01:34:12,240
Speaker 4: I was dating. I was dating people I never met.

1860
01:34:12,760 --> 01:34:13,120
Speaker 4: All right.

1861
01:34:13,479 --> 01:34:17,559
Speaker 11: I had children. I had a baby with with a woman.

1862
01:34:17,800 --> 01:34:20,080
Speaker 11: This was a conversation going on with a in a

1863
01:34:20,080 --> 01:34:23,040
Speaker 11: beauty salon. I had a baby. I had a special

1864
01:34:23,160 --> 01:34:29,000
Speaker 11: needs child. I wasn't taking care of my child child

1865
01:34:29,040 --> 01:34:31,920
Speaker 11: and the child was in a stroller, you know, at

1866
01:34:31,960 --> 01:34:35,160
Speaker 11: the move child around. I have all kinds of weird stuff.

1867
01:34:35,640 --> 01:34:38,840
Speaker 11: I had seven women that was supposed to be God

1868
01:34:38,920 --> 01:34:42,160
Speaker 11: told them I'm their spouse. Uh, and they all knew

1869
01:34:42,200 --> 01:34:43,920
Speaker 11: each other. And I didn't know how that was gonna

1870
01:34:43,920 --> 01:34:50,240
Speaker 11: work out. But I liked the concept. Lord, if it's

1871
01:34:50,280 --> 01:34:54,240
Speaker 11: your will, all right, now, I'm talking about this this

1872
01:34:54,320 --> 01:35:00,240
Speaker 11: whole train preacher, a preacher, un or everyone. So we

1873
01:35:00,400 --> 01:35:04,880
Speaker 11: just keep it reading around that, right, So when you

1874
01:35:04,920 --> 01:35:07,720
Speaker 11: talk about that, man, it's just a lot that goes on,

1875
01:35:08,920 --> 01:35:11,200
Speaker 11: and a lot of people are hearing God, and you

1876
01:35:11,200 --> 01:35:13,439
Speaker 11: ain't hearing none of that that they're saying. So when

1877
01:35:13,439 --> 01:35:17,400
Speaker 11: it came to marriage of course I'm single. I got

1878
01:35:17,400 --> 01:35:18,840
Speaker 11: opes and I can do what I want to do

1879
01:35:19,000 --> 01:35:24,000
Speaker 11: single woman, build a life together, start with kids, grow

1880
01:35:24,040 --> 01:35:29,799
Speaker 11: a legacy, continue the king name. That's what I desired

1881
01:35:29,840 --> 01:35:33,920
Speaker 11: to have, and I desired to do that younger. But

1882
01:35:34,760 --> 01:35:39,360
Speaker 11: my surrender to what God wanted. I had opportunities to

1883
01:35:39,400 --> 01:35:43,880
Speaker 11: be married. They want what God wanted for me, and

1884
01:35:44,520 --> 01:35:49,360
Speaker 11: my picture of what I wanted wasn't what I needed.

1885
01:35:50,479 --> 01:35:53,479
Speaker 11: I needed somebody in my life because I'm a person

1886
01:35:54,280 --> 01:35:55,720
Speaker 11: I can look back at all my life and I

1887
01:35:55,720 --> 01:35:59,839
Speaker 11: can see God never puts me in easy situations because

1888
01:35:59,840 --> 01:36:06,040
Speaker 11: I get bored, and so I needed someone who had

1889
01:36:06,080 --> 01:36:10,880
Speaker 11: worked through something, who had gone through some wars, who

1890
01:36:11,040 --> 01:36:14,519
Speaker 11: would be less judgmental of me, because the world and

1891
01:36:14,600 --> 01:36:19,000
Speaker 11: the church is already judging me, and they love judging

1892
01:36:19,040 --> 01:36:21,120
Speaker 11: preachers because we up here it's a whole lot of judgment.

1893
01:36:21,800 --> 01:36:24,840
Speaker 11: I needed somebody who had been through some stuff and

1894
01:36:24,920 --> 01:36:27,320
Speaker 11: understand and had that sensitivity where it was going to

1895
01:36:27,360 --> 01:36:32,639
Speaker 11: be combative. And so single women, no kids, had stuff together,

1896
01:36:32,760 --> 01:36:36,800
Speaker 11: all that was there. Why would I choose somebody with

1897
01:36:37,360 --> 01:36:43,599
Speaker 11: a divorce and three children. And I'm at the age

1898
01:36:43,600 --> 01:36:47,880
Speaker 11: at that point where if I marry you it's a

1899
01:36:48,080 --> 01:36:50,559
Speaker 11: risk that you might not even be able to have

1900
01:36:50,640 --> 01:36:54,920
Speaker 11: my child. And that was a piece that I had

1901
01:36:54,960 --> 01:37:00,880
Speaker 11: to say, Okay, God, but if it's you, I'll do it.

1902
01:37:02,720 --> 01:37:03,320
Speaker 4: And when I.

1903
01:37:03,240 --> 01:37:07,080
Speaker 11: Tell you, you know, And we have never talked about the

1904
01:37:07,200 --> 01:37:08,800
Speaker 11: other piece. I don't know if you will talk about

1905
01:37:08,800 --> 01:37:13,599
Speaker 11: it all right. When we when we got married, I

1906
01:37:13,680 --> 01:37:16,559
Speaker 11: desired a child and have a child, because she already

1907
01:37:16,600 --> 01:37:19,559
Speaker 11: had three in her own I think we were forwarded

1908
01:37:19,640 --> 01:37:20,679
Speaker 11: you were forty two.

1909
01:37:20,760 --> 01:37:23,960
Speaker 4: Would it happened? Yeah, so I was forty three to

1910
01:37:24,120 --> 01:37:24,519
Speaker 4: forty two.

1911
01:37:25,000 --> 01:37:29,519
Speaker 11: And people never know what we're dealing with while we're

1912
01:37:29,560 --> 01:37:34,679
Speaker 11: helping other people teach. We wanted children, to a child together.

1913
01:37:35,439 --> 01:37:40,240
Speaker 11: She actually got pregnant and then she had a miscarriage.

1914
01:37:41,640 --> 01:37:47,840
Speaker 11: And when I saw the pain she was in when

1915
01:37:47,880 --> 01:37:53,080
Speaker 11: I when I saw my wife on the floor and

1916
01:37:53,680 --> 01:37:57,519
Speaker 11: the baby didn't come out all at once, it was

1917
01:37:57,680 --> 01:38:02,200
Speaker 11: days that it had to come out of her. And

1918
01:38:02,240 --> 01:38:04,760
Speaker 11: when I sat in that hospital room with her and

1919
01:38:04,800 --> 01:38:08,040
Speaker 11: I saw the pain she was in, I said, we

1920
01:38:08,080 --> 01:38:08,880
Speaker 11: ain't got to do this.

1921
01:38:10,240 --> 01:38:11,360
Speaker 4: You're all I need.

1922
01:38:12,400 --> 01:38:18,559
Speaker 11: I take the kids. I'll take I'll take the kids.

1923
01:38:19,120 --> 01:38:23,400
Speaker 11: God has blessed us with love them. I'm just gonna

1924
01:38:23,400 --> 01:38:26,360
Speaker 11: trust God for the rest, because at the end of

1925
01:38:26,439 --> 01:38:28,679
Speaker 11: the day, I just want to be in his will

1926
01:38:30,640 --> 01:38:35,240
Speaker 11: and that I never wanted to put her in that position.

1927
01:38:35,600 --> 01:38:37,840
Speaker 11: And I know she wanted to give me kids, and

1928
01:38:37,880 --> 01:38:40,839
Speaker 11: I want the kids, but you first.

1929
01:38:42,479 --> 01:38:48,680
Speaker 4: And as I got you, I'm all right. Does it?

1930
01:38:49,120 --> 01:38:52,200
Speaker 11: Does it come to my mind sometimes to see one

1931
01:38:52,280 --> 01:38:53,439
Speaker 11: of little me running around you?

1932
01:38:53,560 --> 01:38:54,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, that goes there.

1933
01:38:55,040 --> 01:38:56,840
Speaker 11: But I think there's a point in your life where

1934
01:38:56,840 --> 01:39:01,360
Speaker 11: you have to recognize and realize that sometimes you know,

1935
01:39:01,960 --> 01:39:05,120
Speaker 11: God would turn on another parting you. And I love

1936
01:39:05,320 --> 01:39:07,880
Speaker 11: those children like they were my own children. Matter of fact,

1937
01:39:08,200 --> 01:39:11,840
Speaker 11: my youngest son. Everybody think we had that baby before

1938
01:39:14,000 --> 01:39:17,960
Speaker 11: because he was looking just like me. We are pretty much,

1939
01:39:18,520 --> 01:39:23,040
Speaker 11: I mean the same. I'm actually an introvert. People don't

1940
01:39:23,080 --> 01:39:27,800
Speaker 11: believe that, but she could tell you I'm actually introvert.

1941
01:39:28,000 --> 01:39:29,439
Speaker 4: I can go home. I'll be by myself.

1942
01:39:29,439 --> 01:39:32,240
Speaker 11: People think about I'll be aware when I'm finished with y'all.

1943
01:39:32,640 --> 01:39:34,880
Speaker 11: I've had my negro quot shit for today.

1944
01:39:37,960 --> 01:39:38,879
Speaker 1: I go home.

1945
01:39:39,840 --> 01:39:44,880
Speaker 11: I'm watching the Shy, I'm watching Papa right. I'm chilling

1946
01:39:45,120 --> 01:39:47,559
Speaker 11: right because that's why I do it. I'm with her.

1947
01:39:48,360 --> 01:39:52,639
Speaker 11: Tonight is date night. Ever since we've been together. It's

1948
01:39:52,720 --> 01:39:56,599
Speaker 11: be nine years coming up. We have dated every single

1949
01:39:56,640 --> 01:40:03,040
Speaker 11: Friday night. Because before I got married, Before I got

1950
01:40:03,080 --> 01:40:10,360
Speaker 11: married Latian's, I would pray every Thursday for my wife.

1951
01:40:11,120 --> 01:40:13,240
Speaker 11: There were characteristics I want and I wanted her to

1952
01:40:13,280 --> 01:40:13,920
Speaker 11: be healthy.

1953
01:40:14,040 --> 01:40:15,679
Speaker 4: I wanted her to be whole.

1954
01:40:15,840 --> 01:40:20,360
Speaker 11: I want her to be beautiful externally and internally. I

1955
01:40:20,400 --> 01:40:22,120
Speaker 11: wanted her to be at peace. I wanted her to

1956
01:40:22,160 --> 01:40:25,559
Speaker 11: have her own relationship with God. I wanted her to

1957
01:40:26,400 --> 01:40:29,640
Speaker 11: and I also prayed, God give me somebody that I

1958
01:40:29,720 --> 01:40:34,640
Speaker 11: can know how to support her in her journey. When

1959
01:40:34,680 --> 01:40:38,799
Speaker 11: we got married, I kept that date and I still

1960
01:40:38,840 --> 01:40:41,400
Speaker 11: pray intentionally for I pray for every day, but I

1961
01:40:41,479 --> 01:40:45,200
Speaker 11: have that day still slated just for her. I love

1962
01:40:45,240 --> 01:40:51,040
Speaker 11: it every Friday. It's just for her and so to

1963
01:40:51,400 --> 01:40:54,000
Speaker 11: do this. So that's kind of the whole journey piece.

1964
01:40:54,360 --> 01:40:58,479
Speaker 11: I mean, because I realized aftter watching my parents. After working,

1965
01:40:58,760 --> 01:41:02,519
Speaker 11: I counseled so many peace people through the years, and

1966
01:41:02,600 --> 01:41:06,320
Speaker 11: I just recognized it's a lot of people that's given

1967
01:41:06,400 --> 01:41:08,839
Speaker 11: the second person what they should have given the first

1968
01:41:09,320 --> 01:41:13,400
Speaker 11: if they'd have slowed down. And I'm like, I'd rather

1969
01:41:13,439 --> 01:41:17,240
Speaker 11: get married later so I can love healthier longer.

1970
01:41:17,400 --> 01:41:21,120
Speaker 1: You better teach, you better teach, and I want to

1971
01:41:21,160 --> 01:41:22,960
Speaker 1: come back to the people you counseled. But I want

1972
01:41:22,960 --> 01:41:26,200
Speaker 1: to ask, Lady Nicole, give words to the tears that

1973
01:41:26,240 --> 01:41:26,599
Speaker 1: you were.

1974
01:41:26,479 --> 01:41:31,559
Speaker 2: Shedding, because I do believe that God will give you

1975
01:41:31,760 --> 01:41:35,720
Speaker 2: another chance at love. That's where the tears come from,

1976
01:41:35,720 --> 01:41:38,920
Speaker 2: because I was I was broken from my first marriage

1977
01:41:38,920 --> 01:41:40,839
Speaker 2: and I was afraid to get married. I was afraid

1978
01:41:40,880 --> 01:41:45,880
Speaker 2: to bring anyone around my children or my family. I

1979
01:41:45,960 --> 01:41:48,120
Speaker 2: just didn't want to go through it again. And it

1980
01:41:48,160 --> 01:41:51,759
Speaker 2: was really just protecting myself from being hurt. So anything

1981
01:41:51,800 --> 01:41:55,200
Speaker 2: in the beginning with which may have looked or sounded

1982
01:41:55,280 --> 01:41:57,720
Speaker 2: like I was pushing him away, it was just a

1983
01:41:57,800 --> 01:42:01,800
Speaker 2: protection because I was afraid, So let me protect me.

1984
01:42:02,360 --> 01:42:05,120
Speaker 2: You know, I know him, he's a pastor, you know

1985
01:42:05,200 --> 01:42:07,400
Speaker 2: he was you know, we're in school together, but I

1986
01:42:07,439 --> 01:42:09,320
Speaker 2: don't know him and I need to protect my heart.

1987
01:42:10,120 --> 01:42:13,600
Speaker 2: And so that's basically where those tears come from. And

1988
01:42:13,840 --> 01:42:17,320
Speaker 2: just know that even after heartbreak in a marriage, God

1989
01:42:17,320 --> 01:42:20,720
Speaker 2: can bless you better and give you back everything that

1990
01:42:20,760 --> 01:42:23,640
Speaker 2: you have ever lost. I promise you he can and

1991
01:42:23,720 --> 01:42:25,880
Speaker 2: he will. So that's where a lot of those tears

1992
01:42:25,920 --> 01:42:26,519
Speaker 2: have come from.

1993
01:42:26,800 --> 01:42:29,920
Speaker 11: Can I say this about that, And going back to

1994
01:42:29,920 --> 01:42:32,439
Speaker 11: the question you asked about why I wasn't I afraid

1995
01:42:32,479 --> 01:42:36,000
Speaker 11: of it? When I sat with her and I talked

1996
01:42:36,040 --> 01:42:41,320
Speaker 11: with her, I saw and I listened. I like listening

1997
01:42:41,360 --> 01:42:44,479
Speaker 11: to people's stories because sometimes you can judge a person

1998
01:42:44,720 --> 01:42:46,400
Speaker 11: or you got to keep your two kids and three

1999
01:42:46,479 --> 01:42:51,280
Speaker 11: kids and you divorced and s y z. But what's

2000
01:42:51,320 --> 01:42:59,040
Speaker 11: your story? Because because if you had a different space

2001
01:42:59,160 --> 01:43:04,120
Speaker 11: to work in, what that story have been different? Or

2002
01:43:04,960 --> 01:43:07,840
Speaker 11: have you learned from your story and it's created you

2003
01:43:07,880 --> 01:43:11,240
Speaker 11: to be the person that you are now? And what

2004
01:43:11,360 --> 01:43:14,320
Speaker 11: is my assignment in your life? Because my assignment may

2005
01:43:14,360 --> 01:43:17,360
Speaker 11: not be be to your husband because we still have

2006
01:43:17,479 --> 01:43:20,040
Speaker 11: to have that clarity on what is this supposed to

2007
01:43:20,080 --> 01:43:22,880
Speaker 11: be right? And I'm praying because I'm want to listen

2008
01:43:22,920 --> 01:43:24,760
Speaker 11: to God to every step. I want God to order

2009
01:43:24,800 --> 01:43:29,240
Speaker 11: my steps and my stops. It's like, let's go this far,

2010
01:43:29,960 --> 01:43:30,840
Speaker 11: let's cut that off.

2011
01:43:30,880 --> 01:43:33,559
Speaker 1: This is where order your steps and your stops.

2012
01:43:33,800 --> 01:43:34,840
Speaker 4: Yeah.

2013
01:43:34,960 --> 01:43:38,559
Speaker 11: So I saw her, and and the reason that I

2014
01:43:38,560 --> 01:43:43,280
Speaker 11: fell in love with her is because I recognize she

2015
01:43:43,520 --> 01:43:48,599
Speaker 11: was just trying to survive her entire life. And what

2016
01:43:48,640 --> 01:43:54,680
Speaker 11: I'm good at is helping people thrive, and I recognized

2017
01:43:54,760 --> 01:43:59,240
Speaker 11: I was equipped for her. And if you're talking about

2018
01:43:59,280 --> 01:44:02,960
Speaker 11: it helped meet, she didn't have a whole lot financially

2019
01:44:02,960 --> 01:44:05,320
Speaker 11: to give me at the time. She didn't have a

2020
01:44:05,320 --> 01:44:08,040
Speaker 11: whole lot of time wise because she's trying to handle stuff.

2021
01:44:10,200 --> 01:44:14,479
Speaker 11: So when we start talking about help meets, a lot

2022
01:44:14,479 --> 01:44:18,400
Speaker 11: of times we talk about a person who you know,

2023
01:44:18,479 --> 01:44:20,880
Speaker 11: talking about you know equally equallyoak. You know, you gotta

2024
01:44:20,920 --> 01:44:22,519
Speaker 11: have this job, you gotta have this kind of money,

2025
01:44:22,520 --> 01:44:23,080
Speaker 11: you gotta have this.

2026
01:44:23,840 --> 01:44:24,639
Speaker 4: She didn't have all that.

2027
01:44:24,840 --> 01:44:27,920
Speaker 11: How she gonna be help me because she taught me

2028
01:44:27,960 --> 01:44:34,080
Speaker 11: how to love from her perspective, and she showed me

2029
01:44:34,160 --> 01:44:37,479
Speaker 11: what love looked like to her, how she loves her children.

2030
01:44:38,640 --> 01:44:42,000
Speaker 11: And I also knew that she had been through pain

2031
01:44:43,200 --> 01:44:48,240
Speaker 11: and I had to help her understand. Of course, I'm

2032
01:44:48,320 --> 01:44:51,280
Speaker 11: not who you were dating or who you were married.

2033
01:44:52,080 --> 01:44:55,040
Speaker 11: I meet, and I knew I would have to be

2034
01:44:55,120 --> 01:45:01,400
Speaker 11: patient that part. But I had another in my emotional

2035
01:45:01,479 --> 01:45:05,200
Speaker 11: spiritual bank account that I knew she wouldn't bankrupt me.

2036
01:45:10,160 --> 01:45:15,040
Speaker 11: So so I knew because of you know, my relationship

2037
01:45:15,080 --> 01:45:19,360
Speaker 11: with God, and plus I had been equipped all the

2038
01:45:19,439 --> 01:45:21,200
Speaker 11: things and all the people I counseled all things that

2039
01:45:21,200 --> 01:45:23,960
Speaker 11: I've gone through, all the relationship I've been through. It

2040
01:45:24,080 --> 01:45:31,120
Speaker 11: was preparing me to handle anything she came with. And

2041
01:45:31,160 --> 01:45:34,120
Speaker 11: I was at peace with that because then I knew

2042
01:45:35,640 --> 01:45:37,840
Speaker 11: I ain't worried about it. I got a house big enough,

2043
01:45:38,160 --> 01:45:41,400
Speaker 11: or I could move your kids in and your mama

2044
01:45:41,439 --> 01:45:45,160
Speaker 11: if we need to, because I did that while I

2045
01:45:45,200 --> 01:45:49,640
Speaker 11: was single. I can listen to you. We can, we

2046
01:45:49,680 --> 01:45:52,800
Speaker 11: can whatever you have. There's a plan we could make

2047
01:45:52,880 --> 01:45:56,559
Speaker 11: for good. And that's kind of what we've been doing.

2048
01:45:56,640 --> 01:45:57,080
Speaker 4: She didn't.

2049
01:45:57,439 --> 01:45:59,240
Speaker 11: She didn't, uh, and she may want to say whatever

2050
01:45:59,600 --> 01:46:03,519
Speaker 11: when she when we got together, she hadn't finished her

2051
01:46:04,000 --> 01:46:05,280
Speaker 11: Uh what.

2052
01:46:05,240 --> 01:46:07,160
Speaker 4: Was the career? Yep, you put the mic up. Just

2053
01:46:07,160 --> 01:46:09,120
Speaker 4: tell me tell that story, tell that part.

2054
01:46:09,640 --> 01:46:14,519
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah. So when after I think it was

2055
01:46:14,560 --> 01:46:17,360
Speaker 2: maybe six months after he got married, and I said, well,

2056
01:46:17,360 --> 01:46:18,840
Speaker 2: I want to go back to school. I want to

2057
01:46:18,880 --> 01:46:20,519
Speaker 2: I want to finish something. I want to do it,

2058
01:46:20,600 --> 01:46:23,360
Speaker 2: one for myself and one for my kids, and one

2059
01:46:23,400 --> 01:46:25,880
Speaker 2: when I tell my story that it's never too late

2060
01:46:25,920 --> 01:46:28,720
Speaker 2: to go back to college and get your education. And

2061
01:46:28,800 --> 01:46:32,639
Speaker 2: so I finished. I went to Jarvis Christian College. At

2062
01:46:32,640 --> 01:46:35,800
Speaker 2: the time, yes, HPC you at the time, it was

2063
01:46:35,840 --> 01:46:39,519
Speaker 2: at Friendship West when I started, and now I think

2064
01:46:39,520 --> 01:46:43,680
Speaker 2: it's in Red Bird. Uh yeah, in Redbird now. So

2065
01:46:43,720 --> 01:46:45,920
Speaker 2: I finished that about a year and I said, okay,

2066
01:46:46,320 --> 01:46:48,559
Speaker 2: So he said, what you don't do now? He didn't

2067
01:46:48,560 --> 01:46:50,599
Speaker 2: care if I went to school or not, he said,

2068
01:46:50,600 --> 01:46:53,880
Speaker 2: And I'm all he said was to me, if you start,

2069
01:46:54,360 --> 01:46:57,160
Speaker 2: we don't finish. We're going to finish. You're not gonna quit.

2070
01:46:57,439 --> 01:46:58,439
Speaker 2: That's all he said.

2071
01:46:58,760 --> 01:46:59,479
Speaker 1: Do this for you.

2072
01:46:59,560 --> 01:47:01,000
Speaker 2: I hope you not doing it for me. And of

2073
01:47:01,040 --> 01:47:02,920
Speaker 2: course I'm doing it for me because I wanted to

2074
01:47:02,960 --> 01:47:06,200
Speaker 2: finish something, you know, let me finish something. So once

2075
01:47:06,240 --> 01:47:09,000
Speaker 2: I did that, and I said, well, I think I

2076
01:47:09,000 --> 01:47:12,439
Speaker 2: want to get my master's in Family Christian counseling. And

2077
01:47:12,479 --> 01:47:15,920
Speaker 2: he said, where'd that come from? Ain't you talk of

2078
01:47:16,000 --> 01:47:19,400
Speaker 2: our family Christian counseling. But I heard the Lord say

2079
01:47:19,439 --> 01:47:21,599
Speaker 2: that to me. He said, you need to go ahead

2080
01:47:21,880 --> 01:47:26,000
Speaker 2: and go. I'm like, okay, everything just lined up. I started.

2081
01:47:26,120 --> 01:47:29,519
Speaker 2: I think I finished that in about two years. Told

2082
01:47:29,840 --> 01:47:34,680
Speaker 2: the bachelor's was twenty twenty and my master's was the

2083
01:47:34,680 --> 01:47:37,880
Speaker 2: close of twenty twenty four. Yeah, the close of twenty

2084
01:47:37,920 --> 01:47:41,799
Speaker 2: twenty four. So that was a high achievement. But again

2085
01:47:43,080 --> 01:47:46,000
Speaker 2: It was nothing to do with him other than you know,

2086
01:47:46,040 --> 01:47:47,719
Speaker 2: he paid for me to finish school.

2087
01:47:50,320 --> 01:47:55,920
Speaker 11: Yeah, but pers we wasn't doing no loans, so I

2088
01:47:55,960 --> 01:47:58,599
Speaker 11: paid total that so when you were in there, yeah,

2089
01:47:58,640 --> 01:48:01,360
Speaker 11: we paid. I went to college and I was blessed

2090
01:48:01,360 --> 01:48:03,599
Speaker 11: to have a scholarship when I played football in sam Houston.

2091
01:48:04,080 --> 01:48:06,160
Speaker 4: I didn't have any debt from that. That's good.

2092
01:48:06,240 --> 01:48:08,760
Speaker 11: So we went't fin to have that debt. Plus you

2093
01:48:08,800 --> 01:48:10,800
Speaker 11: had a nice little wed and that that we had

2094
01:48:10,800 --> 01:48:11,280
Speaker 11: to pay.

2095
01:48:11,080 --> 01:48:13,120
Speaker 4: For it absolutely beautiful. Yeah we had a wed.

2096
01:48:13,240 --> 01:48:20,760
Speaker 11: Yeah, yeah, so hallelujah. All right, So we wanted to

2097
01:48:20,760 --> 01:48:23,200
Speaker 11: make sure. That's why I say, hey, if we start,

2098
01:48:23,439 --> 01:48:25,639
Speaker 11: we're gonna finish. We're not doing all that, but I'm

2099
01:48:25,640 --> 01:48:28,559
Speaker 11: gonna push you to be what you what God did

2100
01:48:28,600 --> 01:48:29,400
Speaker 11: you feel that, what do.

2101
01:48:29,439 --> 01:48:31,960
Speaker 2: You want to do? Don't do this for me? So

2102
01:48:32,280 --> 01:48:35,719
Speaker 2: that was another piece. It didn't matter to him, he said,

2103
01:48:35,520 --> 01:48:38,040
Speaker 2: what are you gonna do? I didn't marry you for

2104
01:48:38,080 --> 01:48:39,880
Speaker 2: you to go to school, for you for me to

2105
01:48:39,960 --> 01:48:42,920
Speaker 2: change anything that you're doing. That's not why I married you.

2106
01:48:43,400 --> 01:48:45,920
Speaker 2: So that pushed me, and he pushed me to be

2107
01:48:46,000 --> 01:48:48,640
Speaker 2: a better meeting to get my education. So that's the

2108
01:48:48,920 --> 01:48:51,200
Speaker 2: kind of story on that piece. But yeah, he just

2109
01:48:51,240 --> 01:48:52,680
Speaker 2: accepted me just where I was.

2110
01:48:53,000 --> 01:48:54,800
Speaker 1: And see, I like that. See a lot of times.

2111
01:48:54,840 --> 01:48:57,120
Speaker 1: It was a real that I shared earlier this week

2112
01:48:57,240 --> 01:49:00,280
Speaker 1: where this young lady I was doing the podcast, said

2113
01:49:00,320 --> 01:49:03,160
Speaker 1: Tasha Cobbs Church, and she said that she didn't believe

2114
01:49:03,200 --> 01:49:05,720
Speaker 1: she was worthy to get a husband because she has

2115
01:49:05,760 --> 01:49:09,560
Speaker 1: a special need, special needs daughter, and she says, she

2116
01:49:09,600 --> 01:49:12,000
Speaker 1: don't believe that a man wild Like love that, and

2117
01:49:12,040 --> 01:49:14,679
Speaker 1: I love the fact that here you are with three

2118
01:49:14,760 --> 01:49:17,960
Speaker 1: kids and you found the king that says your kids

2119
01:49:18,000 --> 01:49:21,679
Speaker 1: are my kids. And so I respect that. I hope

2120
01:49:21,920 --> 01:49:24,400
Speaker 1: a lot of y'all are being encouraged by that, because

2121
01:49:24,760 --> 01:49:28,320
Speaker 1: I hate to hear women count themselves out saying, ain't

2122
01:49:28,360 --> 01:49:31,519
Speaker 1: no man gonna want my kids or whatnot. The godly

2123
01:49:31,640 --> 01:49:35,400
Speaker 1: man will because your kids will become his kids and

2124
01:49:35,400 --> 01:49:38,040
Speaker 1: he has to look at it like that, and vice versa.

2125
01:49:38,160 --> 01:49:41,320
Speaker 1: A lot of men who have kids same mindset. A

2126
01:49:41,360 --> 01:49:43,120
Speaker 1: lot of women be like, well, I don't want I

2127
01:49:43,160 --> 01:49:44,960
Speaker 1: want to be the first person that had your kids.

2128
01:49:45,000 --> 01:49:47,320
Speaker 1: He's like, we already got two, so you know that's

2129
01:49:47,360 --> 01:49:49,519
Speaker 1: out of question. So you can think it in your

2130
01:49:49,560 --> 01:49:51,640
Speaker 1: head you be the first one. I had kids with

2131
01:49:51,760 --> 01:49:54,840
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty five. Okay, but you ain't the first,

2132
01:49:55,120 --> 01:49:57,400
Speaker 1: so you just got to reconcile that. And so I

2133
01:49:57,439 --> 01:50:01,840
Speaker 1: know that I love the fact that you loved her

2134
01:50:01,920 --> 01:50:05,240
Speaker 1: and you didn't you said something that was so powerful

2135
01:50:05,280 --> 01:50:07,760
Speaker 1: and healing. And again I didn't even know that was

2136
01:50:07,800 --> 01:50:10,200
Speaker 1: your story. But it's interesting the story that I shared

2137
01:50:10,240 --> 01:50:15,040
Speaker 1: about my goddaughter whose boyfriend while she was miscarrying their kid,

2138
01:50:15,520 --> 01:50:18,320
Speaker 1: made her feel like she was just worthless. And then

2139
01:50:18,360 --> 01:50:20,160
Speaker 1: here you are saying, I don't want to ever see

2140
01:50:20,200 --> 01:50:23,120
Speaker 1: you go through that. You know what you are enough,

2141
01:50:23,640 --> 01:50:26,800
Speaker 1: You are enough. I want that to speak to the

2142
01:50:26,880 --> 01:50:30,960
Speaker 1: people in this audience right now that you are enough.

2143
01:50:31,080 --> 01:50:34,880
Speaker 1: Every man, you are enough. Every woman, you are enough.

2144
01:50:35,160 --> 01:50:37,519
Speaker 1: And as Rashid said early, he had to get to

2145
01:50:37,560 --> 01:50:40,600
Speaker 1: a place in his life where he was enough. You

2146
01:50:40,640 --> 01:50:43,320
Speaker 1: know you hear that common thread through even Schaniku when

2147
01:50:43,360 --> 01:50:46,040
Speaker 1: she said that just getting to a place where whatever

2148
01:50:46,120 --> 01:50:48,320
Speaker 1: it is, however you showed up, whatever cars that the

2149
01:50:48,920 --> 01:50:51,519
Speaker 1: Lord dealt you. You look back today and say, you

2150
01:50:51,560 --> 01:50:53,640
Speaker 1: know what, I'm enough, I'm worthy. And the minute that

2151
01:50:53,720 --> 01:50:56,599
Speaker 1: you received that space, the more that you'll be able

2152
01:50:56,640 --> 01:50:58,840
Speaker 1: to manifest things in your life and bring people in

2153
01:50:58,880 --> 01:51:00,720
Speaker 1: your life that's supposed to be in your life and

2154
01:51:00,760 --> 01:51:04,160
Speaker 1: they're supposed to stay because it starts with you believing

2155
01:51:04,240 --> 01:51:07,479
Speaker 1: that you are enough. And so I just I love

2156
01:51:07,560 --> 01:51:10,320
Speaker 1: that y'all shared that. I really love and Jessica, you're

2157
01:51:10,360 --> 01:51:12,800
Speaker 1: gonna get you a husband that's gonna accept yo. All

2158
01:51:12,880 --> 01:51:15,760
Speaker 1: your kids, all your many kids that you have, They're

2159
01:51:15,760 --> 01:51:19,240
Speaker 1: gonna accept all your little bad kids. They're gonna accept them.

2160
01:51:19,760 --> 01:51:21,960
Speaker 1: I'm believing that in the spirit that you're gonna give

2161
01:51:22,080 --> 01:51:24,920
Speaker 1: a father for those kids and they're gonna take care

2162
01:51:24,960 --> 01:51:27,080
Speaker 1: of them. May bad, they real bad.

2163
01:51:27,479 --> 01:51:29,519
Speaker 3: I wasn't gonna talk about that. Hen I saw your

2164
01:51:29,600 --> 01:51:34,599
Speaker 3: Instagram order feet that you posted earlier today. Y'all see

2165
01:51:34,640 --> 01:51:37,080
Speaker 3: his instagram? Did y'all see here? It showed us these

2166
01:51:37,120 --> 01:51:42,480
Speaker 3: and tones. By the way, I talk about my children.

2167
01:51:42,280 --> 01:51:44,719
Speaker 1: Right, They're amazing, They're actually amazing.

2168
01:51:44,760 --> 01:51:45,240
Speaker 4: I love them.

2169
01:51:45,280 --> 01:51:47,920
Speaker 1: I love them, except the little young one, A little

2170
01:51:47,920 --> 01:51:52,000
Speaker 1: young one bad. Hakeem is bad, he bad, he bad.

2171
01:51:52,080 --> 01:51:54,920
Speaker 1: He need a whooping. He need a good whooping, a

2172
01:51:54,960 --> 01:51:57,439
Speaker 1: real good whooping. But now I love your kids. Listen,

2173
01:51:57,520 --> 01:51:59,240
Speaker 1: I want to go around before we open up the

2174
01:51:59,360 --> 01:52:01,960
Speaker 1: audience to ask questions. I want y'all all to talk

2175
01:52:02,000 --> 01:52:04,840
Speaker 1: about what is the greatest thing you're looking forward to,

2176
01:52:05,000 --> 01:52:09,160
Speaker 1: the greatest transition you're looking forward to. I'm gonna start

2177
01:52:09,200 --> 01:52:12,800
Speaker 1: with you, Tyres. I probably want to sing when I

2178
01:52:12,920 --> 01:52:15,120
Speaker 1: say your name. I don't know what that is. That

2179
01:52:15,240 --> 01:52:21,240
Speaker 1: is crazy, just seen, go ahead, Tyres.

2180
01:52:22,240 --> 01:52:23,879
Speaker 4: For me, it would be probably marriage.

2181
01:52:24,200 --> 01:52:27,160
Speaker 9: Marriage, That'll probably be the greatest transition, becoming a father,

2182
01:52:28,360 --> 01:52:30,519
Speaker 9: and but also just figuring out where I want to

2183
01:52:30,560 --> 01:52:33,760
Speaker 9: take my life, getting to the end, not the end

2184
01:52:33,800 --> 01:52:36,600
Speaker 9: of the transition, just figuring out, you know, this is

2185
01:52:36,680 --> 01:52:38,280
Speaker 9: what I want to do, this is who I want

2186
01:52:38,280 --> 01:52:41,680
Speaker 9: to be as far as a career goes, because I

2187
01:52:41,720 --> 01:52:44,240
Speaker 9: still haven't figured that out all the way. And so

2188
01:52:44,439 --> 01:52:46,599
Speaker 9: probably those three things I would say all put in

2189
01:52:46,840 --> 01:52:47,599
Speaker 9: put in one.

2190
01:52:47,960 --> 01:52:49,160
Speaker 4: Good good.

2191
01:52:51,680 --> 01:52:54,320
Speaker 2: Today. I desire marriage, and I'm just joking. I do

2192
01:52:54,400 --> 01:52:59,000
Speaker 2: desire marriage. But I think what I'm looking for to

2193
01:52:59,160 --> 01:53:02,280
Speaker 2: the most is not anything that I can actually classify

2194
01:53:02,800 --> 01:53:06,800
Speaker 2: at this point in my life. I just want. I

2195
01:53:06,840 --> 01:53:08,640
Speaker 2: want all the dreams that God has for me that

2196
01:53:08,680 --> 01:53:11,479
Speaker 2: I haven't dreamed for myself, or that I've just put

2197
01:53:11,479 --> 01:53:13,240
Speaker 2: myself at this level. And God, it's like I want

2198
01:53:13,240 --> 01:53:16,040
Speaker 2: you to be here. That's what I want.

2199
01:53:16,160 --> 01:53:16,639
Speaker 1: That's good.

2200
01:53:16,720 --> 01:53:20,360
Speaker 4: That's good, David Transitions.

2201
01:53:22,080 --> 01:53:28,920
Speaker 6: You know, look, I'm a grandfather. I clap for myself.

2202
01:53:29,200 --> 01:53:30,559
Speaker 4: It's all good. You know what I'm saying.

2203
01:53:30,960 --> 01:53:33,360
Speaker 6: I haven't had any kids, but you know, God work

2204
01:53:33,400 --> 01:53:36,880
Speaker 6: that one out for me, and so I'm just working

2205
01:53:36,880 --> 01:53:39,520
Speaker 6: at being a better grandfather than enjoying that new experience.

2206
01:53:39,600 --> 01:53:41,639
Speaker 6: You know, his birthday is almost the same as mine.

2207
01:53:41,640 --> 01:53:46,280
Speaker 6: I'm a June Team baby boy. And you know, man,

2208
01:53:46,320 --> 01:53:48,760
Speaker 6: look just you know, staying optimistic and dating in love.

2209
01:53:48,840 --> 01:53:50,920
Speaker 6: You know, I mean, it's a crazy world out there.

2210
01:53:51,280 --> 01:53:55,040
Speaker 6: Social media is poisoning everything, everybody's perspectives. Even you know,

2211
01:53:55,120 --> 01:53:57,920
Speaker 6: good people get weird stuff. And so it's just you know,

2212
01:53:58,000 --> 01:54:01,360
Speaker 6: trying to keep a good heart and you know, hopefully

2213
01:54:01,439 --> 01:54:03,680
Speaker 6: run into somebody like me like I like them.

2214
01:54:03,720 --> 01:54:07,760
Speaker 1: That's good love love for she transition looking forward to.

2215
01:54:08,040 --> 01:54:10,960
Speaker 5: For me is just continue to do the work as

2216
01:54:10,960 --> 01:54:13,120
Speaker 5: far as myself is concerned, like growing as a man

2217
01:54:13,320 --> 01:54:16,759
Speaker 5: through counseling and being a better father, and then ultimately

2218
01:54:16,800 --> 01:54:20,240
Speaker 5: looking for that lady in my life that we can

2219
01:54:20,320 --> 01:54:22,439
Speaker 5: concert with one another and decide we want to pull

2220
01:54:22,520 --> 01:54:24,479
Speaker 5: in the same direction, because that's all I want at

2221
01:54:24,479 --> 01:54:24,680
Speaker 5: the end.

2222
01:54:24,720 --> 01:54:26,240
Speaker 4: Of the day for us to have.

2223
01:54:26,200 --> 01:54:28,920
Speaker 5: A common goal and to pull in the same direction,

2224
01:54:28,920 --> 01:54:31,240
Speaker 5: because if we're not in this tuggle war. And then

2225
01:54:31,280 --> 01:54:34,200
Speaker 5: at the end of the day, besides that, I remember

2226
01:54:34,200 --> 01:54:36,640
Speaker 5: the old pastors used to say in small town Louisiana

2227
01:54:36,680 --> 01:54:39,840
Speaker 5: with my grandparents, for you had your ancestors who prayed

2228
01:54:39,880 --> 01:54:42,000
Speaker 5: for you and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed,

2229
01:54:42,240 --> 01:54:45,440
Speaker 5: and you have storage closets of prayers. And he said,

2230
01:54:45,440 --> 01:54:47,520
Speaker 5: you don't want to leave this earth without emptying all

2231
01:54:47,560 --> 01:54:50,960
Speaker 5: those storage stored up blessings and prayers for you. So

2232
01:54:51,000 --> 01:54:54,280
Speaker 5: that's my ultimate goal, is to not block the blessings

2233
01:54:54,280 --> 01:54:56,560
Speaker 5: that have been already set in front of me and

2234
01:54:56,600 --> 01:54:58,080
Speaker 5: just be there to receive them.

2235
01:54:58,160 --> 01:54:59,840
Speaker 1: Good good Jessica transition.

2236
01:55:01,400 --> 01:55:04,040
Speaker 3: I have to say, I look forward to like safe,

2237
01:55:04,120 --> 01:55:10,600
Speaker 3: consistent love, like you know, love that's dependable and it

2238
01:55:10,840 --> 01:55:13,360
Speaker 3: just keeps showing up, like you're like, you ain't gonna

2239
01:55:13,360 --> 01:55:15,160
Speaker 3: show up today, and then it just do and you

2240
01:55:15,240 --> 01:55:22,160
Speaker 3: were like, oh you came back. I think, I think

2241
01:55:22,240 --> 01:55:26,160
Speaker 3: that's gonna change my life, Like to have that experience

2242
01:55:26,360 --> 01:55:33,000
Speaker 3: every day all days, like ooh you yourself every day. Yeah,

2243
01:55:33,040 --> 01:55:34,640
Speaker 3: that's that's what I look forward to.

2244
01:55:34,960 --> 01:55:38,240
Speaker 1: I love that consistent love, Lady Nicole, transition, what are

2245
01:55:38,280 --> 01:55:38,960
Speaker 1: you looking forward to?

2246
01:55:39,280 --> 01:55:42,720
Speaker 2: I just really just want to be the best wife

2247
01:55:42,800 --> 01:55:45,080
Speaker 2: that I could be to my husband, the best mother

2248
01:55:45,840 --> 01:55:48,280
Speaker 2: I could be for my children, and I just have

2249
01:55:48,400 --> 01:55:52,200
Speaker 2: great satisfaction in that, and just continue to grow in

2250
01:55:52,280 --> 01:55:57,320
Speaker 2: my walks spiritually in this position that I'm in, and

2251
01:55:57,520 --> 01:56:01,360
Speaker 2: help women that feel like they've and counted out. I

2252
01:56:01,480 --> 01:56:05,960
Speaker 2: definitely have a passion to help people with different issues

2253
01:56:05,960 --> 01:56:08,640
Speaker 2: and things that they have gone through in life. So

2254
01:56:08,760 --> 01:56:12,280
Speaker 2: that's something I would like to touch later on good

2255
01:56:12,560 --> 01:56:13,160
Speaker 2: passor King.

2256
01:56:14,080 --> 01:56:19,160
Speaker 11: I mean, I'm listening and thinking through the whole piece.

2257
01:56:19,200 --> 01:56:22,440
Speaker 11: It's so many transitions are always taking place because you know,

2258
01:56:22,520 --> 01:56:26,400
Speaker 11: as a leader and doing so many things, I've kind

2259
01:56:26,400 --> 01:56:28,600
Speaker 11: of come to the point of my life la terrors

2260
01:56:28,680 --> 01:56:31,320
Speaker 11: where I used to have I can still put a

2261
01:56:31,360 --> 01:56:34,680
Speaker 11: five year plan together, but God's done changed that in

2262
01:56:34,760 --> 01:56:39,440
Speaker 11: six months, right. I'm just looking forward to whatever next

2263
01:56:39,560 --> 01:56:43,600
Speaker 11: God wants to surprise me with and the transition of

2264
01:56:43,720 --> 01:56:47,200
Speaker 11: me surrendering more than him. It might sound like an

2265
01:56:47,200 --> 01:56:50,760
Speaker 11: old big louse, you know, whole spiritual piece, but truly

2266
01:56:51,640 --> 01:56:52,400
Speaker 11: I want to be.

2267
01:56:54,960 --> 01:56:58,080
Speaker 4: Submitted for whatever.

2268
01:56:57,680 --> 01:57:03,000
Speaker 11: Transition He has, And I say that because family wise,

2269
01:57:03,560 --> 01:57:07,280
Speaker 11: you know, one son left in the house, that's going

2270
01:57:07,320 --> 01:57:10,920
Speaker 11: to be a transition. Church wise, you know, I think

2271
01:57:10,960 --> 01:57:13,600
Speaker 11: we you know, it's our seventeenth year. We're trying to

2272
01:57:13,840 --> 01:57:16,160
Speaker 11: not trying, but we're right now in the process of

2273
01:57:16,200 --> 01:57:20,640
Speaker 11: building affordable homes for seniors, senior adults. So that's a

2274
01:57:20,680 --> 01:57:25,000
Speaker 11: transition going into economic development in that piece. I mean

2275
01:57:25,160 --> 01:57:28,520
Speaker 11: we could go on you know, chamea plug book coming

2276
01:57:28,560 --> 01:57:31,840
Speaker 11: out right now. That's a transition because I need the

2277
01:57:31,880 --> 01:57:34,480
Speaker 11: money to pay for it. All those things are transitional.

2278
01:57:34,800 --> 01:57:38,560
Speaker 11: And here's the I want. I'm looking forward to the

2279
01:57:38,600 --> 01:57:44,480
Speaker 11: transition where God blesses me with so many resources and

2280
01:57:44,640 --> 01:57:47,600
Speaker 11: money that I can bless so many people that I

2281
01:57:47,760 --> 01:57:48,400
Speaker 11: dreamed about.

2282
01:57:48,560 --> 01:57:50,400
Speaker 4: Yes, that's what I'm looking for.

2283
01:57:50,800 --> 01:57:52,600
Speaker 1: Listen, speaking of the book, is a book that you

2284
01:57:52,720 --> 01:57:54,560
Speaker 1: had in the green room that you gave each and

2285
01:57:54,600 --> 01:57:58,160
Speaker 1: every one of us. It's called Cheaters.

2286
01:57:59,080 --> 01:58:01,160
Speaker 4: Cheaters, Breakups, Love Worth Finding.

2287
01:58:01,080 --> 01:58:04,040
Speaker 1: The Love worth finding it. I want you a touch

2288
01:58:04,080 --> 01:58:06,240
Speaker 1: on that. What made you write that book?

2289
01:58:06,960 --> 01:58:09,840
Speaker 11: Well, I told you I have been over you know,

2290
01:58:09,880 --> 01:58:14,120
Speaker 11: when I was on staff of Friendship, I was over

2291
01:58:14,200 --> 01:58:16,480
Speaker 11: the counseling ministry for the most part. I mean, we

2292
01:58:16,520 --> 01:58:19,880
Speaker 11: had counselors and I do pastoral lay counseling. Were over

2293
01:58:19,960 --> 01:58:22,600
Speaker 11: licensed professional counsel so all the counsel you know, those

2294
01:58:22,640 --> 01:58:25,440
Speaker 11: like ten thousand people. And then through the years, like

2295
01:58:25,440 --> 01:58:26,960
Speaker 11: I said, I've been doing it for thirty two years.

2296
01:58:27,680 --> 01:58:31,760
Speaker 11: I always counsel people and it usually came in relationship piece.

2297
01:58:32,560 --> 01:58:35,600
Speaker 11: You know, you don't get to counsel everybody. I mean

2298
01:58:35,720 --> 01:58:38,320
Speaker 11: everybody will seeing you in boxes. Everybody was sitting there.

2299
01:58:38,480 --> 01:58:41,400
Speaker 11: But what I started noticing was a trend. Whether they

2300
01:58:41,440 --> 01:58:45,120
Speaker 11: were single, whether they were married or whatever the situation was.

2301
01:58:45,880 --> 01:58:48,400
Speaker 11: Most of the stuff I kept seeing was in three categories.

2302
01:58:49,520 --> 01:58:55,360
Speaker 11: People were cheating or being cheated on. People were breaking

2303
01:58:55,480 --> 01:58:59,560
Speaker 11: up and didn't know how to break up. It's like

2304
01:58:59,600 --> 01:59:01,400
Speaker 11: people know how to join the church, but they don't

2305
01:59:01,440 --> 01:59:03,959
Speaker 11: know how to leave, and they joined walking.

2306
01:59:03,760 --> 01:59:04,839
Speaker 4: Down the aisle and shouting.

2307
01:59:05,320 --> 01:59:07,760
Speaker 11: When they leave, you just see him in Walmut one

2308
01:59:07,800 --> 01:59:10,560
Speaker 11: day and you ain't seeing him in eight months, and

2309
01:59:10,640 --> 01:59:11,200
Speaker 11: they want to go.

2310
01:59:11,160 --> 01:59:13,120
Speaker 4: Down the other aisle, like hey, how you doing.

2311
01:59:14,080 --> 01:59:17,240
Speaker 11: They just ghost you and that's kind of the practice

2312
01:59:17,280 --> 01:59:20,800
Speaker 11: of their life. So I kept seeing cheetahs then breaking up,

2313
01:59:21,600 --> 01:59:24,160
Speaker 11: and people were violent when they broke up. It's like

2314
01:59:24,240 --> 01:59:27,480
Speaker 11: this is a person you spent twenty years with. At

2315
01:59:27,640 --> 01:59:32,040
Speaker 11: least be a Christian towards them. It's still your Christian

2316
01:59:32,120 --> 01:59:35,440
Speaker 11: brother and your Christian sister. At least you can hate

2317
01:59:35,600 --> 01:59:40,040
Speaker 11: Charles and his guts, but you're still a brother and

2318
01:59:40,120 --> 01:59:43,000
Speaker 11: sister in christ. People know how to break up, right,

2319
01:59:43,480 --> 01:59:46,720
Speaker 11: It's like I gotta burn everything down with you. Well,

2320
01:59:46,760 --> 01:59:48,080
Speaker 11: you didn't do that when you were putting that hump

2321
01:59:48,160 --> 01:59:50,440
Speaker 11: in my back and I had to hump in yours.

2322
01:59:51,000 --> 01:59:53,400
Speaker 4: We must have been good for a few seconds.

2323
01:59:53,400 --> 01:59:55,320
Speaker 1: How may'all know what that hump is? The hump that

2324
01:59:55,360 --> 01:59:57,080
Speaker 1: he's speaking about, the hump.

2325
01:59:57,600 --> 01:59:58,360
Speaker 4: No, no, know what I'm saying.

2326
01:59:58,520 --> 02:00:02,120
Speaker 11: You know what I'm saying, Like all this passionate love

2327
02:00:02,240 --> 02:00:04,280
Speaker 11: making and you got kids and all kinds of stuff.

2328
02:00:05,320 --> 02:00:08,840
Speaker 11: They couldn't have been that bad all the time, Right,

2329
02:00:09,400 --> 02:00:12,440
Speaker 11: at some point you liked each other for three minutes.

2330
02:00:15,600 --> 02:00:21,520
Speaker 11: So so I so I kept seeing that cheating breaking

2331
02:00:21,640 --> 02:00:26,800
Speaker 11: up and then the journey of hey where is because

2332
02:00:26,840 --> 02:00:28,480
Speaker 11: you know, I was a single pastor for so many

2333
02:00:28,560 --> 02:00:31,840
Speaker 11: years and and doing singles mission and speaking of the

2334
02:00:31,920 --> 02:00:33,760
Speaker 11: word the same thing. I don't care if I was

2335
02:00:33,760 --> 02:00:36,680
Speaker 11: teaking the white people, black people, whatever the room was

2336
02:00:36,760 --> 02:00:40,680
Speaker 11: always mostly fool with women, and they would be mad

2337
02:00:40,800 --> 02:00:41,680
Speaker 11: because they're asking what.

2338
02:00:41,920 --> 02:00:42,480
Speaker 4: Men at.

2339
02:00:44,280 --> 02:00:46,080
Speaker 11: And it's like, how we're gonna get found if ain't

2340
02:00:46,080 --> 02:00:47,000
Speaker 11: no men showing up here.

2341
02:00:49,840 --> 02:00:51,840
Speaker 1: A lot of y'all had that conversation. Y'all walked in

2342
02:00:51,880 --> 02:00:56,720
Speaker 1: here today, didn't you, Holly? Women Again, we already.

2343
02:00:56,160 --> 02:00:58,160
Speaker 11: Know it was gonna take place what it is, so

2344
02:00:58,440 --> 02:01:00,920
Speaker 11: and then with the men it was the same thing.

2345
02:01:01,000 --> 02:01:03,040
Speaker 11: You know, I really want to, you know, connect, So

2346
02:01:03,160 --> 02:01:05,680
Speaker 11: it's a love worth finding that process. So I start

2347
02:01:05,760 --> 02:01:08,040
Speaker 11: looking at all that, checking it out and say, you

2348
02:01:08,120 --> 02:01:10,880
Speaker 11: know what, I can't counsel everybody, but I can do

2349
02:01:10,920 --> 02:01:14,000
Speaker 11: it through a book. So my piece as I wrapped

2350
02:01:14,000 --> 02:01:18,400
Speaker 11: this up, was the cheating piece, why people cheating the

2351
02:01:18,400 --> 02:01:23,280
Speaker 11: first place, the real premise that I was looking at

2352
02:01:23,320 --> 02:01:27,440
Speaker 11: because men are always known what me and cheat. But

2353
02:01:27,880 --> 02:01:31,440
Speaker 11: in my counseling sessions, most of the women was one

2354
02:01:31,560 --> 02:01:36,040
Speaker 11: doing the cheating, and it didn't come out till later

2355
02:01:36,880 --> 02:01:40,680
Speaker 11: that they cheat and defining cheating because cheating ain't.

2356
02:01:40,480 --> 02:01:42,520
Speaker 4: Always sleeping with somebody.

2357
02:01:42,640 --> 02:01:45,600
Speaker 11: You got this person you still calling your best friend

2358
02:01:45,680 --> 02:01:50,400
Speaker 11: as a female who they know things about you your

2359
02:01:50,440 --> 02:01:55,080
Speaker 11: wife never does, right, So that means they have influence,

2360
02:01:55,760 --> 02:01:58,040
Speaker 11: and you don't talk to your wife about the things.

2361
02:01:58,200 --> 02:02:00,600
Speaker 11: You've just opened up a door and and now you're

2362
02:02:00,640 --> 02:02:04,320
Speaker 11: sleeping together later on. But that's not how it usually starts.

2363
02:02:04,800 --> 02:02:09,800
Speaker 11: It starts with an emotional safety net, a place of safety.

2364
02:02:10,040 --> 02:02:12,560
Speaker 11: So we start talking about cheating is not just physical,

2365
02:02:13,280 --> 02:02:17,480
Speaker 11: it's emotional and attachment. So people didn't know that they

2366
02:02:17,520 --> 02:02:21,680
Speaker 11: were cheating and didn't know why people were isolating them

2367
02:02:21,720 --> 02:02:24,120
Speaker 11: from all the people in their lives because they couldn't understand.

2368
02:02:24,160 --> 02:02:29,480
Speaker 11: I ain't slept with nobody physically, you haven't emotionally.

2369
02:02:30,520 --> 02:02:35,240
Speaker 1: You're a prostitute and went to prostitute you. That escalated

2370
02:02:35,280 --> 02:02:38,440
Speaker 1: real fast, didn't it? Yeah, real fast.

2371
02:02:38,560 --> 02:02:41,800
Speaker 11: So that's kind of what the pieces. So we started

2372
02:02:41,800 --> 02:02:43,520
Speaker 11: from the cheating piece. We talk about that, we give

2373
02:02:44,080 --> 02:02:49,000
Speaker 11: guidance for that, We talk about cheating breaking up. And

2374
02:02:49,200 --> 02:02:52,560
Speaker 11: I looked at Lot's Wife because I saw one of

2375
02:02:52,560 --> 02:02:56,360
Speaker 11: your few different wife podcasts, and I wish I was

2376
02:02:56,400 --> 02:02:59,800
Speaker 11: on that one because I could give it elect Sometimes

2377
02:02:59,800 --> 02:03:05,080
Speaker 11: we realize, yeah, God, God don't always bring everybody together.

2378
02:03:06,800 --> 02:03:09,640
Speaker 11: And you know, when God is going together, letting no

2379
02:03:09,760 --> 02:03:12,400
Speaker 11: man put asunder or a lot of this stuff God

2380
02:03:12,400 --> 02:03:13,120
Speaker 11: ain't put together.

2381
02:03:14,480 --> 02:03:16,320
Speaker 4: We did because we wanted a wedding.

2382
02:03:16,400 --> 02:03:18,960
Speaker 11: I tell single people our time, mel the female, if

2383
02:03:19,000 --> 02:03:20,600
Speaker 11: you just want to see what you look like in

2384
02:03:20,640 --> 02:03:24,360
Speaker 11: a wedding, call your homeboys and homegirls up, go down,

2385
02:03:24,760 --> 02:03:29,560
Speaker 11: get you a fitty dress, get your suit, take some pictures,

2386
02:03:31,240 --> 02:03:36,400
Speaker 11: go to Chili's and get that out of your system.

2387
02:03:36,760 --> 02:03:39,800
Speaker 11: Because many people spend more time preparing for their marriage,

2388
02:03:39,880 --> 02:03:42,840
Speaker 11: for their wedding than they do their marriage. And they

2389
02:03:42,920 --> 02:03:44,800
Speaker 11: already they got that image in their head, and once

2390
02:03:44,840 --> 02:03:49,440
Speaker 11: they got that picture, then the marriage is like, oh well,

2391
02:03:49,760 --> 02:03:52,160
Speaker 11: that's why she said, we spend a lot of time

2392
02:03:52,480 --> 02:03:56,080
Speaker 11: preparing for marriage and me getting to know hurt. Because

2393
02:03:56,640 --> 02:03:59,760
Speaker 11: a ring is a ring. What is the covenant in

2394
02:03:59,800 --> 02:04:04,000
Speaker 11: your heart? Because what's gonna keep me faithful to her

2395
02:04:04,240 --> 02:04:07,280
Speaker 11: is not this Exactly what's gonna keep me faithful to

2396
02:04:07,320 --> 02:04:10,200
Speaker 11: her is if I was a whole as a single,

2397
02:04:10,800 --> 02:04:13,160
Speaker 11: putting the ring on my fingers not gonna stop my hortem.

2398
02:04:14,800 --> 02:04:19,560
Speaker 11: I have to learn what faithfulness is to God, and

2399
02:04:19,560 --> 02:04:22,280
Speaker 11: that's who keeps me faithful. So so we were looking

2400
02:04:22,320 --> 02:04:25,080
Speaker 11: at that and people did so. At the end of

2401
02:04:25,080 --> 02:04:28,960
Speaker 11: the day, I looked at Lot's wife, and Lot went

2402
02:04:29,000 --> 02:04:31,480
Speaker 11: to a place got married God didn't tell them to

2403
02:04:31,520 --> 02:04:34,120
Speaker 11: go to that place Sodomgamore. When it was time for them.

2404
02:04:34,120 --> 02:04:37,640
Speaker 11: They were married, they had kids. The angel told them

2405
02:04:37,680 --> 02:04:41,400
Speaker 11: to leave and don't look back. Right leave And some

2406
02:04:41,440 --> 02:04:46,000
Speaker 11: people don't think God would be involved or allow your

2407
02:04:46,040 --> 02:04:47,240
Speaker 11: relationship to break up.

2408
02:04:48,920 --> 02:04:51,280
Speaker 4: A lot of his wife or leaving. I ain't said

2409
02:04:51,280 --> 02:04:52,800
Speaker 4: don't look back. They got the kids.

2410
02:04:53,160 --> 02:05:00,640
Speaker 11: Well, Miss lot lighted Dottie. She turned around because she

2411
02:05:00,680 --> 02:05:02,760
Speaker 11: want to do her own things. She's an independent woman.

2412
02:05:02,800 --> 02:05:04,320
Speaker 4: She likes the foty.

2413
02:05:04,360 --> 02:05:07,560
Speaker 11: She don't bother nobody.

2414
02:05:07,840 --> 02:05:08,560
Speaker 4: All right, here we go.

2415
02:05:08,760 --> 02:05:15,720
Speaker 11: So she looks back, right, she looks back. She's salty,

2416
02:05:16,000 --> 02:05:19,240
Speaker 11: turned to a pull of salt. But what it does

2417
02:05:20,120 --> 02:05:24,440
Speaker 11: it ends their marriage. Her act of obedience of turning back,

2418
02:05:24,520 --> 02:05:27,680
Speaker 11: looking at the past into her marriage. She stops there

2419
02:05:27,720 --> 02:05:31,080
Speaker 11: in the tracks. He has to make a decision. I'm

2420
02:05:31,160 --> 02:05:35,160
Speaker 11: now a single father with two kids. I can either

2421
02:05:35,200 --> 02:05:38,720
Speaker 11: stay here and be salty, or I can learn how

2422
02:05:38,760 --> 02:05:41,040
Speaker 11: to move forward and trust God.

2423
02:05:41,200 --> 02:05:43,320
Speaker 4: And so we look at that whole breakup piece.

2424
02:05:43,360 --> 02:05:47,440
Speaker 11: Sometimes God has to allow her to break up because

2425
02:05:47,480 --> 02:05:49,120
Speaker 11: you weren't supposed to be there in the first place.

2426
02:05:50,120 --> 02:05:54,360
Speaker 11: The second piece is the breakup is you don't have

2427
02:05:54,520 --> 02:05:58,960
Speaker 11: to be broken when you break up, you can be

2428
02:05:59,440 --> 02:06:02,680
Speaker 11: heal the inno sense, because sometimes people break up because

2429
02:06:02,720 --> 02:06:07,320
Speaker 11: they were broken when they got started, and and and

2430
02:06:07,320 --> 02:06:10,000
Speaker 11: and then because see one of the one of the

2431
02:06:10,000 --> 02:06:15,320
Speaker 11: best places that people going through divorce are bad marriage.

2432
02:06:15,600 --> 02:06:19,840
Speaker 11: One of the first times they agree on everything, well

2433
02:06:19,880 --> 02:06:22,880
Speaker 11: they come to a point of agreement, is in divorce court.

2434
02:06:23,960 --> 02:06:26,080
Speaker 11: You known argue and disagree with everything all the way,

2435
02:06:26,880 --> 02:06:29,760
Speaker 11: but it took you going to divorce court to come

2436
02:06:30,000 --> 02:06:34,360
Speaker 11: to say, okay, we're cool, so so. And then the love,

2437
02:06:34,400 --> 02:06:37,280
Speaker 11: we're finding the whole piece where you know what, You

2438
02:06:37,400 --> 02:06:41,400
Speaker 11: got to find a love that fetch you, not comparing

2439
02:06:41,400 --> 02:06:45,280
Speaker 11: it to anybody else, but you gotta love you. And

2440
02:06:45,320 --> 02:06:48,919
Speaker 11: then the reason I could identify my wife is because

2441
02:06:49,760 --> 02:06:53,240
Speaker 11: I was praying, trying to live a certain way and

2442
02:06:53,240 --> 02:06:55,160
Speaker 11: and not we ain't talking about.

2443
02:06:54,920 --> 02:06:56,720
Speaker 4: No perfection because Martin ain't Marcus King.

2444
02:06:56,920 --> 02:07:00,760
Speaker 11: But I'm saying when I say live a certain way financially,

2445
02:07:00,840 --> 02:07:04,320
Speaker 11: I was preparing for a wife even though she had

2446
02:07:04,320 --> 02:07:09,920
Speaker 11: been divorced. I saw wife in her. I saw wife

2447
02:07:09,920 --> 02:07:14,080
Speaker 11: in her. I didn't see girlfriend. You can't find your

2448
02:07:14,200 --> 02:07:21,440
Speaker 11: wife looking through boyfriend's eyes. I had husband eyes, and

2449
02:07:21,520 --> 02:07:24,480
Speaker 11: I saw a wife hart Tea, and that's why I

2450
02:07:24,520 --> 02:07:26,480
Speaker 11: was able to do that. So that's kind of the

2451
02:07:26,560 --> 02:07:29,120
Speaker 11: process of those three And that's kind of what the

2452
02:07:29,120 --> 02:07:30,040
Speaker 11: book I talked about.

2453
02:07:30,080 --> 02:07:32,240
Speaker 1: Do you have are the books here? Do you have it?

2454
02:07:32,400 --> 02:07:34,280
Speaker 11: I got them right out there. They're not free nine

2455
02:07:34,280 --> 02:07:36,320
Speaker 11: and nine, they're fifteen none. And I got you right

2456
02:07:36,320 --> 02:07:36,879
Speaker 11: out there.

2457
02:07:36,720 --> 02:07:38,720
Speaker 1: All right, So listen, how many books you got?

2458
02:07:40,040 --> 02:07:43,280
Speaker 11: I think I have on hand? I got about one

2459
02:07:43,320 --> 02:07:45,640
Speaker 11: hundred and fifty maybe something out that. But then I

2460
02:07:45,680 --> 02:07:49,120
Speaker 11: got another book out there, Finding Your Focus on Relationships,

2461
02:07:49,120 --> 02:07:53,600
Speaker 11: which is about fifty two devotionals about relationships each one,

2462
02:07:53,640 --> 02:07:54,520
Speaker 11: So I got that out there too.

2463
02:07:54,640 --> 02:07:56,520
Speaker 1: So I want everybody to go grab a book. I

2464
02:07:56,600 --> 02:07:58,520
Speaker 1: want you all to go buy a book because you

2465
02:07:58,560 --> 02:08:00,800
Speaker 1: said you're coming out with another book, and I want

2466
02:08:00,880 --> 02:08:04,080
Speaker 1: this to be the seed that's planning for your next book.

2467
02:08:04,400 --> 02:08:06,360
Speaker 1: So I want you all to run out there. And

2468
02:08:06,400 --> 02:08:08,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you the reason why that's important. It

2469
02:08:08,160 --> 02:08:11,440
Speaker 1: is because they didn't charge for this event. They did

2470
02:08:11,520 --> 02:08:13,880
Speaker 1: not charge all one dollar to come into this event.

2471
02:08:14,160 --> 02:08:17,880
Speaker 1: So give it up for DC three and so and so.

2472
02:08:18,000 --> 02:08:20,640
Speaker 1: But I believe in sowing and reaping, and so make

2473
02:08:20,680 --> 02:08:22,720
Speaker 1: sure y'all go out there, go grab a book. Show

2474
02:08:22,760 --> 02:08:26,640
Speaker 1: that y'all support uh opportunities where we do stuff? Is

2475
02:08:26,680 --> 02:08:27,120
Speaker 1: that the book?

2476
02:08:28,320 --> 02:08:28,520
Speaker 4: Good?

2477
02:08:29,360 --> 02:08:29,560
Speaker 12: Yeah?

2478
02:08:30,760 --> 02:08:31,880
Speaker 1: Do commercial? What am I doing?

2479
02:08:32,160 --> 02:08:32,800
Speaker 4: Do commercial?

2480
02:08:33,120 --> 02:08:35,760
Speaker 11: You said we in charge, but I gotta pay you,

2481
02:08:35,880 --> 02:08:37,560
Speaker 11: so you got you're gonna do that book right there?

2482
02:08:37,560 --> 02:08:42,080
Speaker 1: A Cheaters, make sure you pick up Cheaters, Breakups and

2483
02:08:42,160 --> 02:08:44,960
Speaker 1: the Love Worth Finding by Pastor Marcus D.

2484
02:08:45,040 --> 02:08:47,840
Speaker 4: King and doctor Jazcerlot did the full worth of.

2485
02:08:48,320 --> 02:08:52,320
Speaker 1: Doctor Jasmine Charlotte and uh Finding your focus on relationships.

2486
02:08:52,320 --> 02:08:54,000
Speaker 1: But you said they can get the people that's watching

2487
02:08:54,040 --> 02:08:54,960
Speaker 1: online right now, they.

2488
02:08:54,840 --> 02:08:56,720
Speaker 11: Can get it on You can go to Marcus D.

2489
02:08:56,960 --> 02:08:59,920
Speaker 11: King dot com right now, all right, Marcus D. King,

2490
02:09:00,800 --> 02:09:05,400
Speaker 11: you can pre order my book on prayer, the audacity

2491
02:09:05,920 --> 02:09:10,480
Speaker 11: uh speaking boldie praying praying, you know, with audacity, praying fearlessly,

2492
02:09:10,880 --> 02:09:13,920
Speaker 11: And you can get that right now and pre order that.

2493
02:09:13,920 --> 02:09:16,120
Speaker 11: That book should be out within the next couple of weeks.

2494
02:09:16,520 --> 02:09:17,520
Speaker 1: Love it, Love it, Love it.

2495
02:09:17,640 --> 02:09:19,480
Speaker 4: I got some other books on that too, but yeah, good.

2496
02:09:19,560 --> 02:09:21,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't know what you wrote so many books.

2497
02:09:21,080 --> 02:09:22,720
Speaker 1: I remember I was talking to you and I saw

2498
02:09:22,800 --> 02:09:24,880
Speaker 1: this plaque that you had with how many books have

2499
02:09:24,880 --> 02:09:28,760
Speaker 1: you written? Like seven? This number eight, number eight. Yeah,

2500
02:09:28,880 --> 02:09:31,160
Speaker 1: so seven and number eight. That's good, give it up.

2501
02:09:31,520 --> 02:09:36,480
Speaker 1: It's so difficult to write a book, so difficult. Listen,

2502
02:09:36,560 --> 02:09:38,320
Speaker 1: we're gonna open the Oh well, let me just tell

2503
02:09:38,400 --> 02:09:46,200
Speaker 1: y'all what my transition I'm looking forward to about that part.

2504
02:09:47,120 --> 02:09:49,880
Speaker 1: So the first one, of course, is in September the fourteenth,

2505
02:09:49,960 --> 02:09:55,800
Speaker 1: the transition to be uh a grandfather to a beautiful

2506
02:09:56,080 --> 02:10:01,560
Speaker 1: young granddaughter. I'm having a granddaughter. And on November the

2507
02:10:01,600 --> 02:10:04,920
Speaker 1: twenty second will be the day I get married, and

2508
02:10:05,000 --> 02:10:09,800
Speaker 1: so and so I'm looking forward to the five years

2509
02:10:09,800 --> 02:10:12,320
Speaker 1: that I've been on this journey to discover, uncover and

2510
02:10:12,360 --> 02:10:15,600
Speaker 1: recover love. Start the podcast April fifteenth, and so this

2511
02:10:15,760 --> 02:10:18,720
Speaker 1: is a huge godwink to know that God did not

2512
02:10:18,840 --> 02:10:21,160
Speaker 1: forget about me. A lot of times people are watching

2513
02:10:21,200 --> 02:10:24,360
Speaker 1: the podcast or seeing stuff on social media and they're saying,

2514
02:10:24,440 --> 02:10:26,440
Speaker 1: he don't want nobody. I mean, he got all these women,

2515
02:10:26,480 --> 02:10:28,840
Speaker 1: he doesnet met, he don't want nobody, And they don't

2516
02:10:28,840 --> 02:10:31,840
Speaker 1: know what's brewing behind the scenes. They never know what's

2517
02:10:31,880 --> 02:10:35,240
Speaker 1: taking place behind the scenes. Like Pastor King said, is

2518
02:10:35,240 --> 02:10:37,600
Speaker 1: that a lot of people come up with these ideologies,

2519
02:10:37,880 --> 02:10:41,720
Speaker 1: but you can't just choose incorrectly, because what happens is

2520
02:10:42,080 --> 02:10:45,240
Speaker 1: if I rushed on people's timeline and got married, but

2521
02:10:45,280 --> 02:10:47,320
Speaker 1: that marriage only lasted a year, y'all be like, see,

2522
02:10:47,320 --> 02:10:48,880
Speaker 1: he should have took his time, He should have took

2523
02:10:48,880 --> 02:10:51,480
Speaker 1: his time. He done found somebody and already divorced, you

2524
02:10:51,560 --> 02:10:53,600
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So you can't win for losing.

2525
02:10:53,960 --> 02:10:55,680
Speaker 1: And that's why one of the major vowals that we

2526
02:10:55,760 --> 02:10:59,960
Speaker 1: take is forsaking all others, because you can't base Mayor

2527
02:11:00,480 --> 02:11:04,000
Speaker 1: and covenant on other people's opinions. So I'll do an

2528
02:11:04,000 --> 02:11:06,160
Speaker 1: episode in the next couple of weeks where I'll just

2529
02:11:06,160 --> 02:11:08,600
Speaker 1: sit on the yellow couch and I talk about this journey.

2530
02:11:09,160 --> 02:11:11,400
Speaker 1: One of the things that I am doing is I'm

2531
02:11:11,440 --> 02:11:14,520
Speaker 1: keeping it private till it's permanent because of how just

2532
02:11:14,600 --> 02:11:17,760
Speaker 1: social media is. You know, you can't just lend. Especially

2533
02:11:17,760 --> 02:11:21,080
Speaker 1: when you got somebody and all eyes are on them.

2534
02:11:21,160 --> 02:11:23,720
Speaker 1: You can thrust them into a position where they are

2535
02:11:23,800 --> 02:11:27,919
Speaker 1: being judged, criticized, and you're bringing that into your marriage

2536
02:11:28,640 --> 02:11:31,760
Speaker 1: before you even get married. It's already a challenge to

2537
02:11:31,840 --> 02:11:34,800
Speaker 1: get to the altar, especially preparing for a marriage. A

2538
02:11:34,800 --> 02:11:38,520
Speaker 1: lot of marriages break up just planning the wedding you

2539
02:11:38,560 --> 02:11:41,800
Speaker 1: know they will fall out just planning the wedding, and

2540
02:11:41,840 --> 02:11:44,760
Speaker 1: so God gave me wisdom on how to cultivate that.

2541
02:11:45,760 --> 02:11:49,240
Speaker 1: And I've been in counseling. We've been in pre I

2542
02:11:49,320 --> 02:11:53,440
Speaker 1: went through pre engagement counseling. So before I even put

2543
02:11:53,440 --> 02:11:56,320
Speaker 1: a ring on her finger, we went through three months

2544
02:11:56,360 --> 02:12:00,200
Speaker 1: of pre engagement counseling. We love Matt Peerson and been

2545
02:12:00,200 --> 02:12:03,400
Speaker 1: an amazing journey. So I give God all the glory

2546
02:12:03,800 --> 02:12:08,480
Speaker 1: for this chapter ending in a new one beginning. We're

2547
02:12:08,480 --> 02:12:10,880
Speaker 1: gonna open this up briefly for about fifteen minutes to

2548
02:12:10,920 --> 02:12:12,960
Speaker 1: give a little Q and a microphones in the center.

2549
02:12:13,040 --> 02:12:15,720
Speaker 1: I'll come address whoever you want to address, ask your question.

2550
02:12:15,840 --> 02:12:20,920
Speaker 1: Come on, let's talk. Anybody, questions, comments, concerns. Don't be scared.

2551
02:12:22,280 --> 02:12:24,120
Speaker 1: Y'all gonna wait till the first person go, and then

2552
02:12:24,360 --> 02:12:26,240
Speaker 1: about twenty of y'all gonna get in line. There you go,

2553
02:12:28,640 --> 02:12:29,520
Speaker 1: there's a microphone on.

2554
02:12:30,320 --> 02:12:34,200
Speaker 15: All right, Sorry, hello, everyone, I just wanted to make

2555
02:12:34,200 --> 02:12:37,360
Speaker 15: an announcement that if you would like to ask a question,

2556
02:12:37,480 --> 02:12:40,160
Speaker 15: you can come up to the mic just formal line,

2557
02:12:40,160 --> 02:12:42,360
Speaker 15: no more than four people and just.

2558
02:12:42,320 --> 02:12:42,920
Speaker 8: Ask your question.

2559
02:12:43,400 --> 02:12:44,120
Speaker 1: Good, Thank you.

2560
02:12:46,880 --> 02:12:47,680
Speaker 3: Hello, everybody.

2561
02:12:47,720 --> 02:12:49,360
Speaker 1: You can tilt it down, tilt it down to your mouth.

2562
02:12:49,440 --> 02:12:53,120
Speaker 2: Hi, everybody, go and stay your name yetes go ahead.

2563
02:12:53,240 --> 02:12:54,560
Speaker 8: My name is Nikki.

2564
02:12:54,720 --> 02:12:59,120
Speaker 2: I'm new to the DFW area, move from the Memphis area.

2565
02:12:59,240 --> 02:13:03,960
Speaker 1: Welcome to doubt Us. Welcome, welcome, welcome, Thank you, Hold on.

2566
02:13:04,040 --> 02:13:06,040
Speaker 1: I want y'all, you know, I want y'all to make

2567
02:13:06,080 --> 02:13:08,160
Speaker 1: friends with it. Like when people come to new cities,

2568
02:13:08,160 --> 02:13:11,120
Speaker 1: it makes it very difficult to build relationships. So being

2569
02:13:11,160 --> 02:13:13,280
Speaker 1: the body of Christ, I want y'all to put some

2570
02:13:13,360 --> 02:13:16,080
Speaker 1: love on it and connect with her. So make sure

2571
02:13:16,120 --> 02:13:16,800
Speaker 1: that takes place.

2572
02:13:16,880 --> 02:13:18,560
Speaker 3: Thank you, Thank you.

2573
02:13:20,000 --> 02:13:22,920
Speaker 2: So I was in a marriage for it's been ten

2574
02:13:23,040 --> 02:13:32,120
Speaker 2: years now, but after nine years feeling intimately neglected, which

2575
02:13:32,160 --> 02:13:38,120
Speaker 2: eventually became emotional abuse, I left and now have been

2576
02:13:38,120 --> 02:13:40,600
Speaker 2: going through a divorce for a year and he's making

2577
02:13:40,640 --> 02:13:46,560
Speaker 2: it very difficult. I still believe in love. I know

2578
02:13:46,800 --> 02:13:50,680
Speaker 2: for a fact that I love that man, the wrong person,

2579
02:13:51,160 --> 02:13:56,520
Speaker 2: the right way. So I'm still a big support of love.

2580
02:13:57,280 --> 02:14:00,920
Speaker 2: Super excited for you and your transition. By the way,

2581
02:14:03,120 --> 02:14:08,040
Speaker 2: as I'm going through my healing journey, how do I

2582
02:14:08,120 --> 02:14:14,360
Speaker 2: rebuild trust and not let my past pain block the love.

2583
02:14:14,240 --> 02:14:14,920
Speaker 3: That I truly do?

2584
02:14:15,080 --> 02:14:19,680
Speaker 1: Learn I won't, Lady Nicole, that's right there in your bag,

2585
02:14:19,760 --> 02:14:20,240
Speaker 1: right there.

2586
02:14:23,240 --> 02:14:27,680
Speaker 2: Okay. First, I think you need to see God and

2587
02:14:28,040 --> 02:14:31,960
Speaker 2: ask him anything that you have concerns with. Number one,

2588
02:14:32,600 --> 02:14:34,320
Speaker 2: just ask him and just talk to him like you

2589
02:14:34,360 --> 02:14:37,920
Speaker 2: talk to your friends. Just be that transparent and ask

2590
02:14:38,040 --> 02:14:41,200
Speaker 2: him to really heal your heart so you could be

2591
02:14:41,280 --> 02:14:44,720
Speaker 2: open to receive love and also to give love.

2592
02:14:45,280 --> 02:14:45,680
Speaker 3: Okay.

2593
02:14:46,240 --> 02:14:49,560
Speaker 2: And I think the main thing again is just asking God, God,

2594
02:14:49,680 --> 02:14:53,440
Speaker 2: you know, help me through this pray pray time of

2595
02:14:53,520 --> 02:14:57,880
Speaker 2: getting your word and meditate and then just ask him

2596
02:14:57,920 --> 02:15:00,120
Speaker 2: for science because I'm a big believer that God. I

2597
02:15:00,160 --> 02:15:03,400
Speaker 2: will show you signs if you ask him and ask

2598
02:15:03,480 --> 02:15:05,840
Speaker 2: him for sevil, you know, so you won't be confused

2599
02:15:05,840 --> 02:15:08,200
Speaker 2: because a lot of times you can get confused is

2600
02:15:08,240 --> 02:15:08,720
Speaker 2: this God?

2601
02:15:08,880 --> 02:15:09,680
Speaker 3: Is this not God?

2602
02:15:10,080 --> 02:15:12,720
Speaker 2: Ask him for clear signs so you know that you

2603
02:15:12,760 --> 02:15:15,600
Speaker 2: are not missing it. And just get with a good

2604
02:15:15,640 --> 02:15:19,360
Speaker 2: group of people that are speaking positive things to you,

2605
02:15:19,480 --> 02:15:23,000
Speaker 2: not negative things, not and understanding what you have gone

2606
02:15:23,040 --> 02:15:25,520
Speaker 2: through because that's a lot. That's a loss, that is

2607
02:15:25,600 --> 02:15:29,040
Speaker 2: like a death. A lot of times, divorce is a

2608
02:15:29,040 --> 02:15:32,000
Speaker 2: lot of mourning. So just allow yourself to heal. I'm

2609
02:15:32,000 --> 02:15:34,000
Speaker 2: not sure if you're all the way healed right now

2610
02:15:34,920 --> 02:15:37,720
Speaker 2: or not? Just allow yourself to healed and just be

2611
02:15:37,800 --> 02:15:41,080
Speaker 2: able to open your heart when you feel like you're ready.

2612
02:15:41,760 --> 02:15:43,240
Speaker 1: And let me ask you this, Do you believe that

2613
02:15:43,280 --> 02:15:45,240
Speaker 1: there's any reconciliation for your marriage?

2614
02:15:45,280 --> 02:15:46,080
Speaker 3: Absolutely not?

2615
02:15:46,320 --> 02:15:51,160
Speaker 1: Amen, So here we go. So listen, I just.

2616
02:15:51,040 --> 02:15:54,760
Speaker 2: Want to become a physically abusive absolutely absolutely so.

2617
02:15:54,800 --> 02:15:57,680
Speaker 1: Here it is because I was gonna pray for those

2618
02:15:58,560 --> 02:16:01,560
Speaker 1: for a release to take place. You said that he's

2619
02:16:01,640 --> 02:16:06,920
Speaker 1: tying up the divorce proceedings correctly, and so we're gonna

2620
02:16:06,920 --> 02:16:09,480
Speaker 1: pray that a release is gonna take place, and a

2621
02:16:09,560 --> 02:16:12,520
Speaker 1: miracle is gonna take place, and you're gonna find something

2622
02:16:12,520 --> 02:16:14,480
Speaker 1: in the next few days where he's gonna say, I'm

2623
02:16:14,480 --> 02:16:16,840
Speaker 1: gonna go ahead and let it go. Tisha Owens, I

2624
02:16:16,920 --> 02:16:18,880
Speaker 1: want you to come up here, at Teasha. I want

2625
02:16:18,920 --> 02:16:27,000
Speaker 1: I want my sister right here to to pray for you.

2626
02:16:27,080 --> 02:16:29,920
Speaker 14: First of all, Lord, we just want to say thank you,

2627
02:16:29,480 --> 02:16:31,640
Speaker 14: thank you. We thank you for the sister just being

2628
02:16:31,680 --> 02:16:35,280
Speaker 14: transparent that you will allow her, allow her to come

2629
02:16:35,360 --> 02:16:37,600
Speaker 14: forth and just share and be open with us.

2630
02:16:38,240 --> 02:16:38,480
Speaker 3: Father.

2631
02:16:38,600 --> 02:16:45,640
Speaker 14: She's asking for restoration on her heart. She feels broken,

2632
02:16:46,640 --> 02:16:51,680
Speaker 14: and I'm sure she's felt betrayed, misunderstood for whatever reason,

2633
02:16:51,760 --> 02:16:56,200
Speaker 14: that husband put hands on her, and I'm sure she

2634
02:16:56,240 --> 02:16:59,680
Speaker 14: has felt alone. But we want you, Lord, to put

2635
02:16:59,760 --> 02:17:03,880
Speaker 14: your arms around her and let her feel your presence

2636
02:17:04,879 --> 02:17:08,520
Speaker 14: even when she's trying to understand how this happened and

2637
02:17:08,600 --> 02:17:10,959
Speaker 14: what went wrong. Let her know that it was not

2638
02:17:11,120 --> 02:17:14,440
Speaker 14: her fault. Let her see that you love her and

2639
02:17:14,480 --> 02:17:18,680
Speaker 14: that you know what has transpired. But you are going

2640
02:17:18,760 --> 02:17:21,320
Speaker 14: to continue to walk with her. You're going to be

2641
02:17:21,440 --> 02:17:24,320
Speaker 14: her peace. You're going to be her joy. You're going

2642
02:17:24,400 --> 02:17:27,160
Speaker 14: to provide her with the friends and the support that

2643
02:17:27,240 --> 02:17:30,040
Speaker 14: she needs. You're going to touch that man right now,

2644
02:17:30,080 --> 02:17:34,520
Speaker 14: in the name of Jesus, where he is realizing what

2645
02:17:34,680 --> 02:17:37,920
Speaker 14: he has done, the pain, the hurt that he has

2646
02:17:38,000 --> 02:17:41,039
Speaker 14: brought on her, and we pray Lord that he comes

2647
02:17:41,200 --> 02:17:45,360
Speaker 14: asking for forgiveness, not necessarily for restoration, but just that

2648
02:17:45,480 --> 02:17:48,840
Speaker 14: she would see that you have, that she has been heard,

2649
02:17:49,480 --> 02:17:51,760
Speaker 14: and that you are aware of what's going on in

2650
02:17:51,800 --> 02:17:55,440
Speaker 14: this situation. We want him to be so uneasy that

2651
02:17:55,520 --> 02:17:58,280
Speaker 14: he understands that he does need to go ahead and

2652
02:17:58,360 --> 02:18:01,960
Speaker 14: rectify the situation. Give her what she is asking for,

2653
02:18:02,040 --> 02:18:05,680
Speaker 14: which is freedom and release. Father, you said where two

2654
02:18:05,760 --> 02:18:07,520
Speaker 14: or three are gathering your name that you.

2655
02:18:07,480 --> 02:18:09,200
Speaker 3: Would be all so here we all are.

2656
02:18:09,800 --> 02:18:12,000
Speaker 14: We know that you move mountains, We know that you

2657
02:18:12,160 --> 02:18:15,880
Speaker 14: part red seas, So surely you hear us calling you,

2658
02:18:16,360 --> 02:18:20,080
Speaker 14: asking for your guidance, asking for your wisdom, asking for

2659
02:18:20,120 --> 02:18:23,000
Speaker 14: your peace. And you're gonna surround her this room tonight.

2660
02:18:23,240 --> 02:18:26,320
Speaker 3: We're gonna love on her. We're gonna remind.

2661
02:18:25,959 --> 02:18:28,800
Speaker 14: Her again that you hear her and that you are

2662
02:18:28,879 --> 02:18:31,560
Speaker 14: aware of what's going on, and you're going to fill

2663
02:18:31,840 --> 02:18:35,840
Speaker 14: her with your joy again. She will have testimony that

2664
02:18:36,320 --> 02:18:39,440
Speaker 14: she is now restored and renewed and has that peace

2665
02:18:39,480 --> 02:18:42,000
Speaker 14: of God that only you can provide. We thank you

2666
02:18:42,040 --> 02:18:45,119
Speaker 14: in advance for how the testimony is going to come forth,

2667
02:18:45,160 --> 02:18:47,400
Speaker 14: and we're gonna hear the goodness of how she comes

2668
02:18:47,400 --> 02:18:49,640
Speaker 14: out with her hands up saying that it has been

2669
02:18:49,720 --> 02:18:52,000
Speaker 14: victorious and you have done just.

2670
02:18:52,120 --> 02:18:53,119
Speaker 8: What you said.

2671
02:18:53,800 --> 02:18:55,680
Speaker 14: We thank you in advance for how you're gonna move

2672
02:18:55,720 --> 02:18:57,600
Speaker 14: in her life and the name of Jesus.

2673
02:18:57,800 --> 02:19:04,240
Speaker 1: Amen, Thank you, thank you, Thank you. Hil Luis. How

2674
02:19:04,280 --> 02:19:06,840
Speaker 1: many y'all believe that right now? Do y'all believe that

2675
02:19:07,320 --> 02:19:10,440
Speaker 1: this is what these moments are for? This is what

2676
02:19:10,480 --> 02:19:14,760
Speaker 1: these moments are for. You're next good evening.

2677
02:19:14,840 --> 02:19:18,680
Speaker 14: My name is Kim from San Francisco. First lady and pastor,

2678
02:19:18,760 --> 02:19:22,240
Speaker 14: thank you so much for hosting us, betrayus, what a

2679
02:19:22,280 --> 02:19:24,040
Speaker 14: blessing and the entire panels.

2680
02:19:24,120 --> 02:19:25,440
Speaker 1: She gave me a new name. She gave me a

2681
02:19:25,440 --> 02:19:31,400
Speaker 1: new name, took me right there. So you so you

2682
02:19:31,440 --> 02:19:34,160
Speaker 1: live in San Francisco right now? I do you're visiting

2683
02:19:34,280 --> 02:19:37,280
Speaker 1: for this weekend? I am, oh, good, good, welcome, welcome,

2684
02:19:37,360 --> 02:19:39,279
Speaker 1: welcome friends.

2685
02:19:39,400 --> 02:19:41,640
Speaker 3: You said what I'm one of good friends.

2686
02:19:41,680 --> 02:19:43,760
Speaker 1: Oh okay, teacher, that's your that's your friend. All right.

2687
02:19:43,959 --> 02:19:49,879
Speaker 14: Yeah, So I have I guess a two prong question.

2688
02:19:50,280 --> 02:19:55,040
Speaker 14: I after divorce, the Lord had called me to not

2689
02:19:55,280 --> 02:19:58,800
Speaker 14: date for some time, and the Lord kept me in

2690
02:19:58,920 --> 02:20:03,240
Speaker 14: peace during that, and then I felt like God took

2691
02:20:03,440 --> 02:20:07,600
Speaker 14: the hedge off and I was like, oh cool, I'm

2692
02:20:07,640 --> 02:20:10,520
Speaker 14: gonna have a winter boo or whatever the case may be.

2693
02:20:11,280 --> 02:20:19,840
Speaker 14: Winner came and went like several times and.

2694
02:20:18,920 --> 02:20:20,400
Speaker 8: No one came.

2695
02:20:20,959 --> 02:20:27,199
Speaker 14: And I noticed that this dating pool that we're in now,

2696
02:20:27,360 --> 02:20:32,519
Speaker 14: especially with social media, that people just date very differently,

2697
02:20:32,600 --> 02:20:38,359
Speaker 14: and men no longer pursue women anymore. And I'm with fashion,

2698
02:20:38,640 --> 02:20:44,680
Speaker 14: I'm not chasing, I'm not looking, and I feel like

2699
02:20:44,800 --> 02:20:49,640
Speaker 14: I'm saying, okay, God, it's coming, when are you bringing it?

2700
02:20:49,760 --> 02:20:52,560
Speaker 8: But how do you get through that season.

2701
02:20:52,200 --> 02:20:56,720
Speaker 14: When you think that God said yes, and nothing's out there?

2702
02:20:57,160 --> 02:21:00,120
Speaker 14: And how do you deal with what is out there

2703
02:21:01,080 --> 02:21:06,480
Speaker 14: that's coming towards you that may not feel as great.

2704
02:21:05,720 --> 02:21:09,840
Speaker 1: That was the most politically correct way of saying. I

2705
02:21:09,879 --> 02:21:12,440
Speaker 1: don't want none of these in words. That's what she said.

2706
02:21:12,920 --> 02:21:14,879
Speaker 1: I don't want none of these in words, is what

2707
02:21:15,000 --> 02:21:18,080
Speaker 1: she said in a very politically correct way. It was

2708
02:21:18,120 --> 02:21:21,600
Speaker 1: amazing how you formed your words to say that question.

2709
02:21:21,760 --> 02:21:24,400
Speaker 1: Is this when you got married the first time? How

2710
02:21:24,440 --> 02:21:26,120
Speaker 1: did you meet him?

2711
02:21:26,720 --> 02:21:28,920
Speaker 8: I met him through friends.

2712
02:21:28,520 --> 02:21:32,560
Speaker 1: All right? And so always go back to how work before?

2713
02:21:33,000 --> 02:21:35,520
Speaker 1: Talk to your friend, talk to your friend group and say, hey,

2714
02:21:35,600 --> 02:21:38,520
Speaker 1: do y'all know anybody that you know I would be

2715
02:21:38,560 --> 02:21:41,959
Speaker 1: interested in and put it out there. I know you

2716
02:21:42,000 --> 02:21:44,440
Speaker 1: said your old fashioned, and I still believe in old

2717
02:21:44,480 --> 02:21:50,000
Speaker 1: fashioned ways. Do you go out places where you can

2718
02:21:50,080 --> 02:21:55,040
Speaker 1: meet guys like home depot or lows or you know,

2719
02:21:55,879 --> 02:21:56,800
Speaker 1: I mean I do.

2720
02:21:56,959 --> 02:21:59,120
Speaker 14: I mean I work a lot in the community, I

2721
02:21:59,200 --> 02:22:03,000
Speaker 14: do travel a lot, but men don't approach me.

2722
02:22:03,959 --> 02:22:07,000
Speaker 1: Well do are you? Are you? Do you find yourself approachable?

2723
02:22:07,480 --> 02:22:11,680
Speaker 1: Do you like smile at guys, you know, because sometimes y'all.

2724
02:22:11,600 --> 02:22:19,760
Speaker 8: I definitely don't growl, and so I.

2725
02:22:19,800 --> 02:22:22,840
Speaker 1: Always say that it's this thing that I always say,

2726
02:22:22,879 --> 02:22:25,760
Speaker 1: the proverbial handkerchief. You know, back in the day, the

2727
02:22:25,840 --> 02:22:28,160
Speaker 1: woman would drop her hanky and then the man would

2728
02:22:28,200 --> 02:22:30,080
Speaker 1: walk up and pick it up. I say, today in

2729
02:22:30,120 --> 02:22:33,840
Speaker 1: social media, it's just engage like a heart of photo.

2730
02:22:34,080 --> 02:22:35,400
Speaker 1: I mean, are you on social media?

2731
02:22:35,680 --> 02:22:36,640
Speaker 4: I am all right?

2732
02:22:36,920 --> 02:22:38,800
Speaker 1: Do you how do you respond if you see a

2733
02:22:38,840 --> 02:22:41,240
Speaker 1: guy that comes across your timeline to somebody you know,

2734
02:22:41,360 --> 02:22:43,720
Speaker 1: you may went to school with, just anybody, your coworker

2735
02:22:43,760 --> 02:22:46,480
Speaker 1: or whatnot. Do you ever engage with people? Do you

2736
02:22:46,520 --> 02:22:49,440
Speaker 1: feel like even saying hi to them is making the

2737
02:22:49,480 --> 02:22:50,080
Speaker 1: first move.

2738
02:22:50,480 --> 02:22:57,840
Speaker 14: No, I definitely engage, but I don't do the first flirt.

2739
02:22:57,160 --> 02:22:58,760
Speaker 1: And get what does your engagement look like?

2740
02:23:00,320 --> 02:23:06,520
Speaker 14: I mean, I have a humble lifestyle show, so I'm

2741
02:23:06,800 --> 02:23:07,840
Speaker 14: on social media.

2742
02:23:07,959 --> 02:23:08,880
Speaker 8: So I engage.

2743
02:23:08,959 --> 02:23:12,920
Speaker 14: So I'm not quiet, I affirm, I laugh at stuff,

2744
02:23:13,080 --> 02:23:15,800
Speaker 14: I comment back and forth, banter.

2745
02:23:16,400 --> 02:23:18,000
Speaker 8: I just don't make the first move.

2746
02:23:18,240 --> 02:23:25,400
Speaker 14: The other thing, Yeah, yeah.

2747
02:23:22,760 --> 02:23:24,760
Speaker 1: You said the guys that you meet, so you said

2748
02:23:24,840 --> 02:23:27,600
Speaker 1: that you don't like, so are you meeting guys you

2749
02:23:27,720 --> 02:23:30,400
Speaker 1: just don't like the selection because you made a comment

2750
02:23:30,560 --> 02:23:33,480
Speaker 1: in the most politically correct way about that's what you

2751
02:23:33,520 --> 02:23:35,879
Speaker 1: don't like. So you are meeting guys, do approach you, right,

2752
02:23:35,920 --> 02:23:37,000
Speaker 1: you just don't like what's coming.

2753
02:23:37,320 --> 02:23:42,839
Speaker 8: Well, no, that's a hard one.

2754
02:23:43,360 --> 02:23:46,920
Speaker 14: I think what it is is I don't get approached

2755
02:23:47,040 --> 02:23:51,840
Speaker 14: a lot. And what I see I'm not even attracted to.

2756
02:23:52,080 --> 02:23:56,000
Speaker 14: I'm not moved in a way that I'm like, I'm

2757
02:23:56,080 --> 02:23:56,920
Speaker 14: checking for him.

2758
02:23:57,440 --> 02:24:00,400
Speaker 1: How many women are having that same problem right there? Yeah?

2759
02:24:00,680 --> 02:24:01,400
Speaker 1: About that?

2760
02:24:03,720 --> 02:24:08,280
Speaker 14: So, and especially since this is what you do and

2761
02:24:08,320 --> 02:24:12,160
Speaker 14: in terms of like interviewing and having guests.

2762
02:24:12,160 --> 02:24:14,960
Speaker 8: Come on, have you seen a shift in a culture?

2763
02:24:15,040 --> 02:24:15,200
Speaker 4: Oh?

2764
02:24:15,280 --> 02:24:18,840
Speaker 1: Yes, it's been a great shift. I mean it's everything

2765
02:24:18,879 --> 02:24:21,680
Speaker 1: you're saying is true. Everything you're saying is just the

2766
02:24:22,800 --> 02:24:27,560
Speaker 1: signs of the times. Men aren't approaching women as much

2767
02:24:27,600 --> 02:24:30,200
Speaker 1: as they used to do. They fear rejection a lot.

2768
02:24:30,360 --> 02:24:32,200
Speaker 1: I don't know. We used to get rejected all the

2769
02:24:32,240 --> 02:24:34,120
Speaker 1: time when we were in high school and it was

2770
02:24:34,200 --> 02:24:36,360
Speaker 1: no big deal. You know. We would go to the

2771
02:24:36,360 --> 02:24:38,560
Speaker 1: mall and see how many phone numbers you could get.

2772
02:24:38,680 --> 02:24:40,520
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, And don't care. It's just

2773
02:24:40,560 --> 02:24:42,080
Speaker 1: a numbers game. We used to think of as a

2774
02:24:42,160 --> 02:24:45,760
Speaker 1: numbers game back then. Now guys be like, man' you know,

2775
02:24:45,800 --> 02:24:47,879
Speaker 1: ain't finna do all that? You think? What's that?

2776
02:24:48,160 --> 02:24:51,840
Speaker 14: I think the age of social media. You know, they

2777
02:24:52,000 --> 02:24:56,600
Speaker 14: have a plethora of women that they can slide into

2778
02:24:56,720 --> 02:24:59,720
Speaker 14: and if if you're not moving as quick enough. I

2779
02:24:59,720 --> 02:25:02,800
Speaker 14: didn't mean to say it like that, slide into the

2780
02:25:02,879 --> 02:25:10,000
Speaker 14: deer if you're not moving quick enough, or if you're

2781
02:25:10,040 --> 02:25:13,640
Speaker 14: not stepping to them, and I you know, I just.

2782
02:25:14,040 --> 02:25:15,200
Speaker 4: Can I can I say something?

2783
02:25:15,320 --> 02:25:15,760
Speaker 8: Yeah?

2784
02:25:16,360 --> 02:25:20,119
Speaker 4: And this is am am.

2785
02:25:20,120 --> 02:25:22,160
Speaker 8: I gonna like it. First, lady, what is he what

2786
02:25:22,240 --> 02:25:25,279
Speaker 8: he's gonna say? Is he gonna be a tough one.

2787
02:25:25,760 --> 02:25:26,360
Speaker 4: I've been doing it.

2788
02:25:26,640 --> 02:25:29,520
Speaker 11: We've been doing this for a while. Here's here's a deal.

2789
02:25:31,280 --> 02:25:34,000
Speaker 11: Because I was single till I was forty one forty two, right,

2790
02:25:35,280 --> 02:25:39,160
Speaker 11: I've had opportunities to, like I say, choose whoever you

2791
02:25:39,200 --> 02:25:40,199
Speaker 11: wanted to date whatever.

2792
02:25:40,360 --> 02:25:42,440
Speaker 4: It doesn't matter whether you're a woman or a man.

2793
02:25:43,800 --> 02:25:47,640
Speaker 11: When God has what he has for you, they will

2794
02:25:47,680 --> 02:25:52,680
Speaker 11: find you. I don't care if you in Walmart and

2795
02:25:52,720 --> 02:25:54,680
Speaker 11: you got your bonnnet on that day and you're trying

2796
02:25:54,720 --> 02:25:59,240
Speaker 11: to hide, You're gonna be fine to him right now,

2797
02:25:59,400 --> 02:26:01,640
Speaker 11: here's what I think we have to have to do.

2798
02:26:01,959 --> 02:26:07,720
Speaker 11: We can't just be blaming God for everything. God didn't

2799
02:26:07,720 --> 02:26:10,440
Speaker 11: make me marry this woman. God didn't make me slide

2800
02:26:10,480 --> 02:26:15,560
Speaker 11: to her DMS. That was my decision, that's my choice.

2801
02:26:16,240 --> 02:26:20,360
Speaker 11: We can't generalize men aren't doing that.

2802
02:26:20,360 --> 02:26:20,760
Speaker 4: That's a lot.

2803
02:26:20,800 --> 02:26:22,640
Speaker 11: I got a twenty five year old right here know

2804
02:26:22,760 --> 02:26:26,760
Speaker 11: his woman. I made a decision to chase this woman.

2805
02:26:27,840 --> 02:26:32,600
Speaker 11: So the men you mess with are scared to that.

2806
02:26:32,640 --> 02:26:35,879
Speaker 11: Now here's the other part. Society has changed in a

2807
02:26:35,879 --> 02:26:39,279
Speaker 11: lot of ways, and you can't have it both ways.

2808
02:26:40,200 --> 02:26:42,840
Speaker 11: Women want their independence and be an independent woman and

2809
02:26:42,840 --> 02:26:43,280
Speaker 11: do all this.

2810
02:26:43,360 --> 02:26:45,720
Speaker 4: You can't even open the door for women. Why one

2811
02:26:45,720 --> 02:26:46,160
Speaker 4: door for woman?

2812
02:26:46,200 --> 02:26:50,680
Speaker 11: She got an attitude like I'm demeaning her, Like, ma'am,

2813
02:26:50,800 --> 02:26:52,200
Speaker 11: I'm just opening the door for you.

2814
02:26:52,920 --> 02:26:53,720
Speaker 8: I'm not that one.

2815
02:26:53,840 --> 02:26:59,320
Speaker 4: No, no, no, I'm just saying. It gets stupid, it's just dumb.

2816
02:26:59,480 --> 02:27:03,840
Speaker 11: Now, it's like you, you do you want a partner?

2817
02:27:04,520 --> 02:27:07,600
Speaker 4: Do you really want a man? And do you?

2818
02:27:07,920 --> 02:27:10,000
Speaker 11: And I found out a lot of men, a lot

2819
02:27:10,040 --> 02:27:13,720
Speaker 11: of women want a man until he starts manning. Yes,

2820
02:27:15,160 --> 02:27:21,760
Speaker 11: Because because society is trying to feminize men. We ain't

2821
02:27:21,760 --> 02:27:23,640
Speaker 11: just talking about when I'm not talking about people being

2822
02:27:23,680 --> 02:27:27,600
Speaker 11: homosexual and stuff like that, I'm saying society is trying to.

2823
02:27:27,560 --> 02:27:29,519
Speaker 4: Take the man out of manhood.

2824
02:27:31,240 --> 02:27:34,480
Speaker 11: You raise your voice, well you hollering, or you your

2825
02:27:34,600 --> 02:27:36,000
Speaker 11: threat or your aggressor.

2826
02:27:35,760 --> 02:27:38,400
Speaker 4: No, just talking. I'm expressing myself. I'm black.

2827
02:27:39,240 --> 02:27:41,400
Speaker 11: It's what we do that we talk because I grew

2828
02:27:41,440 --> 02:27:45,480
Speaker 11: up in my household, right, so so I recognize a

2829
02:27:45,520 --> 02:27:49,760
Speaker 11: lot of women that that I have to deal with

2830
02:27:49,800 --> 02:27:51,600
Speaker 11: stuff like that. And here's the other part. We don't

2831
02:27:52,160 --> 02:27:56,800
Speaker 11: there are consequences to our actions. I told you earlier,

2832
02:27:57,640 --> 02:28:02,040
Speaker 11: you know God's grace. He gonna give us grace because

2833
02:28:02,080 --> 02:28:05,080
Speaker 11: he loves us. Right, but you told me you already

2834
02:28:05,080 --> 02:28:09,280
Speaker 11: been married, right, that's the covenant. What if God has

2835
02:28:09,360 --> 02:28:11,800
Speaker 11: already gave you that, that's the only one you get.

2836
02:28:13,640 --> 02:28:17,720
Speaker 14: Well, I was married unto the Lord.

2837
02:28:16,600 --> 02:28:19,439
Speaker 4: No, so you never had a husband.

2838
02:28:20,000 --> 02:28:22,440
Speaker 8: I didn't leave until God I was.

2839
02:28:24,560 --> 02:28:26,160
Speaker 11: I don't know your situation. I want you to stand.

2840
02:28:26,200 --> 02:28:28,840
Speaker 11: It's not a judging peace know nothing about you. I'm

2841
02:28:28,879 --> 02:28:35,280
Speaker 11: saying many people are on their second. But just because

2842
02:28:35,320 --> 02:28:38,320
Speaker 11: somebody else gets another chance in marriage doesn't.

2843
02:28:38,040 --> 02:28:38,680
Speaker 4: Mean you will.

2844
02:28:40,120 --> 02:28:42,440
Speaker 11: And just because you've lived your life a certain way,

2845
02:28:43,720 --> 02:28:47,039
Speaker 11: and and you feel the Lord is that God ain't

2846
02:28:47,120 --> 02:28:50,800
Speaker 11: promise you no spouse. If you look in your Bible,

2847
02:28:50,840 --> 02:28:57,680
Speaker 11: God only promised one person's spouse, Adams it who else

2848
02:28:57,720 --> 02:29:01,720
Speaker 11: in the Bible that he promised the spouse. So we

2849
02:29:01,760 --> 02:29:04,960
Speaker 11: start talking about promising and relationship and things this nature.

2850
02:29:05,560 --> 02:29:12,560
Speaker 11: Sometimes when God frees us up, it's for us to

2851
02:29:12,560 --> 02:29:18,000
Speaker 11: get right with him. I married a woman with kids

2852
02:29:18,040 --> 02:29:19,760
Speaker 11: that being divorced, allso the kind of stuff, and it

2853
02:29:19,800 --> 02:29:23,640
Speaker 11: was a whole lot of single available women, right. I

2854
02:29:23,800 --> 02:29:28,840
Speaker 11: found more peace with her with three kids than a

2855
02:29:28,879 --> 02:29:33,760
Speaker 11: lot of women that had none. It's not about what

2856
02:29:33,879 --> 02:29:38,000
Speaker 11: she had or whatever. It's the quality of the person.

2857
02:29:39,280 --> 02:29:43,600
Speaker 11: And if we don't understand, you can be a virgin

2858
02:29:44,440 --> 02:29:49,440
Speaker 11: and have a nasty attitude, you can be you can

2859
02:29:49,480 --> 02:29:50,959
Speaker 11: be whatever you want to be.

2860
02:29:50,959 --> 02:29:52,440
Speaker 4: In It's like, so, all I'm saying to you is

2861
02:29:54,360 --> 02:29:55,440
Speaker 4: understand your picky.

2862
02:29:56,800 --> 02:30:00,240
Speaker 11: You like what you like, and there are consequences is

2863
02:30:00,560 --> 02:30:04,320
Speaker 11: for your standards and if and if there is no

2864
02:30:04,560 --> 02:30:09,520
Speaker 11: grace in your choosing people, don't be mad at God

2865
02:30:09,800 --> 02:30:14,040
Speaker 11: because you don't know how to extend grace and and

2866
02:30:14,520 --> 02:30:16,480
Speaker 11: loving people in their imperfections.

2867
02:30:18,000 --> 02:30:18,840
Speaker 4: That's all I gotta say.

2868
02:30:20,600 --> 02:30:21,000
Speaker 8: Thank you.

2869
02:30:21,160 --> 02:30:21,880
Speaker 4: I received that.

2870
02:30:24,680 --> 02:30:32,720
Speaker 1: I was depressed and Pastor King, let me let me say,

2871
02:30:32,840 --> 02:30:34,480
Speaker 1: let me say, let me say it like this, Let

2872
02:30:34,520 --> 02:30:35,120
Speaker 1: me say it like this.

2873
02:30:35,720 --> 02:30:37,360
Speaker 4: See, at the end of the at the end of

2874
02:30:37,400 --> 02:30:39,199
Speaker 4: the day, we take scripture.

2875
02:30:39,280 --> 02:30:42,039
Speaker 11: Sometimes God will give you the desires to your heart.

2876
02:30:42,320 --> 02:30:43,600
Speaker 4: What if you already did that.

2877
02:30:45,240 --> 02:30:47,959
Speaker 11: And now the next piece is all right, let's move

2878
02:30:48,080 --> 02:30:50,920
Speaker 11: past that. You still got that desire, you still want

2879
02:30:50,920 --> 02:30:52,440
Speaker 11: to be married. Okay, it's out there.

2880
02:30:52,800 --> 02:30:57,080
Speaker 4: We don't. We like sensationalism in the church today and.

2881
02:30:57,000 --> 02:30:58,720
Speaker 11: We like all this stuff, but when you come back

2882
02:30:58,720 --> 02:31:02,280
Speaker 11: and line it up with script sure, with scripture, I'm

2883
02:31:02,320 --> 02:31:04,520
Speaker 11: not talking about I want this, I want that. No,

2884
02:31:05,120 --> 02:31:11,039
Speaker 11: what is scripture saying about this? God bless this show, right,

2885
02:31:11,440 --> 02:31:14,200
Speaker 11: God bless all the show? But how many podcasts do

2886
02:31:14,240 --> 02:31:17,320
Speaker 11: we have to have with people talking about stuff and

2887
02:31:17,360 --> 02:31:18,439
Speaker 11: they ain't using.

2888
02:31:18,160 --> 02:31:22,279
Speaker 8: Scripture or trusting the Lord.

2889
02:31:22,120 --> 02:31:24,160
Speaker 4: Or trusting the Lord in relationships.

2890
02:31:23,560 --> 02:31:25,920
Speaker 8: Walking the walk and even with me.

2891
02:31:26,840 --> 02:31:31,480
Speaker 14: It's not that I'm picky, but as a woman of God,

2892
02:31:31,920 --> 02:31:36,160
Speaker 14: I deserve to be treated like a woman of God.

2893
02:31:36,480 --> 02:31:40,000
Speaker 14: If I'm giving one hundred percent, I'm not It doesn't

2894
02:31:40,000 --> 02:31:44,040
Speaker 14: necessarily mean that I'm looking for fifty to fifty or

2895
02:31:44,080 --> 02:31:46,880
Speaker 14: whatever the case may be. But I still want to

2896
02:31:46,920 --> 02:31:50,600
Speaker 14: feel like a woman. If I'm making sure that my

2897
02:31:50,840 --> 02:31:54,600
Speaker 14: man is feeling like a man, that I'm affirming him,

2898
02:31:54,680 --> 02:31:59,240
Speaker 14: that I'm supporting that I'm understanding my place as a woman, which,

2899
02:31:59,400 --> 02:32:01,359
Speaker 14: by the way, I think is a gift.

2900
02:32:01,680 --> 02:32:03,240
Speaker 8: I love being a woman.

2901
02:32:03,360 --> 02:32:07,360
Speaker 14: I didn't get divorced because I wanted to be divorce.

2902
02:32:08,120 --> 02:32:10,640
Speaker 14: I got divorced because I had no choice.

2903
02:32:10,959 --> 02:32:12,560
Speaker 4: But oh yeah, that has still.

2904
02:32:12,360 --> 02:32:18,359
Speaker 14: A saved wife even after the divorce, and I honored

2905
02:32:18,520 --> 02:32:21,160
Speaker 14: him because we had a child together.

2906
02:32:21,680 --> 02:32:22,879
Speaker 8: I honored him.

2907
02:32:23,040 --> 02:32:26,160
Speaker 14: Even after that because that's who God has called me

2908
02:32:26,240 --> 02:32:28,880
Speaker 14: to be. But in this season of my life, I

2909
02:32:28,879 --> 02:32:33,720
Speaker 14: don't necessarily think it as too picky or being.

2910
02:32:34,640 --> 02:32:37,240
Speaker 11: I just said, you have standards, Yeah I don't have.

2911
02:32:37,320 --> 02:32:39,720
Speaker 11: There's no problem with stands things like this. I'm not

2912
02:32:39,800 --> 02:32:42,040
Speaker 11: saying that God doesn't have anybody that he's gonna bless

2913
02:32:42,040 --> 02:32:44,640
Speaker 11: you with. I'm not saying that that's God. We don't

2914
02:32:44,879 --> 02:32:48,760
Speaker 11: control that. I'm not saying you're wrong for anything you're doing.

2915
02:32:48,879 --> 02:32:50,920
Speaker 11: I'm not saying the divorce is your fault. Like I said,

2916
02:32:50,920 --> 02:32:53,400
Speaker 11: I don't know anything about that. What I'm saying is

2917
02:32:53,480 --> 02:32:58,000
Speaker 11: what I'm saying clearly across the board is this, God

2918
02:32:58,040 --> 02:33:03,480
Speaker 11: has a purpose for your life. And if a mate

2919
02:33:04,080 --> 02:33:11,520
Speaker 11: is not in this season, sometimes being married can become

2920
02:33:11,640 --> 02:33:12,320
Speaker 11: your idol.

2921
02:33:14,959 --> 02:33:16,040
Speaker 4: Do you understand what I'm saying?

2922
02:33:16,440 --> 02:33:22,840
Speaker 11: Like it can overtake you, like you're a peace with

2923
02:33:22,879 --> 02:33:23,840
Speaker 11: everything else in your life.

2924
02:33:24,160 --> 02:33:28,640
Speaker 4: But I'm not married, right And it's subtle. It's subtle.

2925
02:33:30,040 --> 02:33:32,400
Speaker 11: And next thing, you know, that's what you're thinking about

2926
02:33:32,440 --> 02:33:36,800
Speaker 11: the most, and you don't have this peace and you

2927
02:33:36,879 --> 02:33:40,600
Speaker 11: want to honor the Lord. And there's nothing wrong with you.

2928
02:33:42,080 --> 02:33:46,119
Speaker 11: There is nothing wrong with you. It's just where God

2929
02:33:46,240 --> 02:33:50,760
Speaker 11: hats you. And many times when one door is closed,

2930
02:33:50,879 --> 02:33:52,959
Speaker 11: God is saying, turn around to.

2931
02:33:52,959 --> 02:33:55,000
Speaker 4: See what I want to do next in this season?

2932
02:33:55,840 --> 02:34:00,520
Speaker 4: Just me and you because I'm writing yours.

2933
02:34:00,600 --> 02:34:03,680
Speaker 11: If I'm writing your story and your desire is to

2934
02:34:03,720 --> 02:34:07,000
Speaker 11: be married, that means I'm working on him too.

2935
02:34:08,200 --> 02:34:11,880
Speaker 4: And trust me with the timing. Thank you, You got

2936
02:34:11,879 --> 02:34:14,480
Speaker 4: what I'm saying. So it's not God ain't gonna do this.

2937
02:34:14,920 --> 02:34:14,960
Speaker 3: No.

2938
02:34:15,720 --> 02:34:19,080
Speaker 11: God is a personal God. God loves you. God has

2939
02:34:19,120 --> 02:34:21,640
Speaker 11: plans for you. God knows the desires of your heart.

2940
02:34:22,879 --> 02:34:25,240
Speaker 11: But do you know the desires of God's heart for you?

2941
02:34:27,160 --> 02:34:28,039
Speaker 11: That's what I'm trying to.

2942
02:34:28,040 --> 02:34:33,120
Speaker 3: Get you, can I say, just on a lighter note,

2943
02:34:34,600 --> 02:34:37,760
Speaker 3: just on a lighter note, right, because I thoroughly enjoy you.

2944
02:34:37,760 --> 02:34:41,439
Speaker 3: You have the essence of a lady. You're absolutely gorgeous,

2945
02:34:41,920 --> 02:34:44,760
Speaker 3: and because the times are a little different, you might

2946
02:34:44,800 --> 02:34:47,039
Speaker 3: just need to cast your sin. Right, let me show

2947
02:34:47,040 --> 02:34:50,039
Speaker 3: you how you do it. Right, there's a guy you

2948
02:34:50,200 --> 02:34:52,680
Speaker 3: like this guy. There's no guy's over here. Sorry if

2949
02:34:52,720 --> 02:34:54,640
Speaker 3: I'm pointing at one of y'all, I told y'all what

2950
02:34:54,680 --> 02:35:01,360
Speaker 3: I like. So so watch this at of times because

2951
02:35:01,440 --> 02:35:06,360
Speaker 3: men are on alert right now for the hyper independent

2952
02:35:06,400 --> 02:35:10,360
Speaker 3: woman and you you just you're so well put. They

2953
02:35:10,400 --> 02:35:13,960
Speaker 3: do need a bone. They need to know that you're interested.

2954
02:35:15,080 --> 02:35:17,560
Speaker 3: Call it fear, call it. I don't want to be offended.

2955
02:35:17,600 --> 02:35:19,039
Speaker 3: I don't want to get sued. I don't want her

2956
02:35:19,080 --> 02:35:21,360
Speaker 3: to say I'm raping her, that I accidentally touched her.

2957
02:35:21,400 --> 02:35:24,160
Speaker 3: But like they have a lot of things to consider now,

2958
02:35:25,680 --> 02:35:30,280
Speaker 3: just just hey, how you doing? Like if everybody get

2959
02:35:30,440 --> 02:35:33,240
Speaker 3: like this, smile give him this one, you know what

2960
02:35:33,200 --> 02:35:38,000
Speaker 3: I'm saying, Just like, you know, like, just just a

2961
02:35:38,040 --> 02:35:39,920
Speaker 3: little at it so he can know he's different in

2962
02:35:39,959 --> 02:35:42,960
Speaker 3: the room, and then in the midst of everybody else.

2963
02:35:43,360 --> 02:35:45,560
Speaker 3: I see you if you give an eye contact to

2964
02:35:45,560 --> 02:35:49,240
Speaker 3: everybody because you really care, really stare at him, squint

2965
02:35:49,240 --> 02:35:52,280
Speaker 3: a little bit. You don't sound like, hey you, That's

2966
02:35:52,320 --> 02:35:55,480
Speaker 3: all I'm saying. Just cash your sin, just just a tabit.

2967
02:35:55,840 --> 02:35:59,800
Speaker 3: Not enough to where you you misunderstood, but enough to

2968
02:36:00,040 --> 02:36:03,080
Speaker 3: let him know if you are interested. So am I

2969
02:36:03,840 --> 02:36:04,320
Speaker 3: that's it?

2970
02:36:04,480 --> 02:36:07,840
Speaker 1: Okay, that's good, thank you, thank you so much, queen.

2971
02:36:08,000 --> 02:36:11,080
Speaker 4: But let me ask you though you can't.

2972
02:36:10,800 --> 02:36:19,840
Speaker 1: Say nothing else. Brought it back around this ters room again.

2973
02:36:20,600 --> 02:36:20,959
Speaker 1: The readon.

2974
02:36:21,000 --> 02:36:24,520
Speaker 11: I'm saying this is because we get so depressed and

2975
02:36:24,560 --> 02:36:27,160
Speaker 11: so down. And we talked about casting sins, which is great,

2976
02:36:28,000 --> 02:36:29,400
Speaker 11: but what are you trying to catch?

2977
02:36:29,879 --> 02:36:32,400
Speaker 4: What do you do? You want to be married? I'm

2978
02:36:32,440 --> 02:36:34,119
Speaker 4: just said being clear, do you want to be married?

2979
02:36:34,280 --> 02:36:36,920
Speaker 11: Do you want to because here's once again God bless

2980
02:36:36,959 --> 02:36:40,120
Speaker 11: you though, but do you want to be married? This

2981
02:36:40,160 --> 02:36:43,279
Speaker 11: one wants to be married and and those practical things

2982
02:36:43,280 --> 02:36:46,400
Speaker 11: are good. But once again, I watch all these podcasts,

2983
02:36:46,400 --> 02:36:48,000
Speaker 11: I see all the people. I got to counsel these

2984
02:36:48,000 --> 02:36:50,560
Speaker 11: people when it don't work out, and then they wonder

2985
02:36:50,720 --> 02:36:51,720
Speaker 11: and then they suicidal.

2986
02:36:52,240 --> 02:36:56,080
Speaker 4: I'm just trying to tell you I'm just saying no, no, no, no, no.

2987
02:36:56,959 --> 02:36:57,760
Speaker 4: I'm trying.

2988
02:36:58,000 --> 02:37:00,440
Speaker 11: I'm trying to I'm trying to be real. This is

2989
02:37:00,440 --> 02:37:04,400
Speaker 11: where the council says, just go. So I'm trying to understand.

2990
02:37:04,600 --> 02:37:09,120
Speaker 11: I love what you said. All this is great. I

2991
02:37:09,200 --> 02:37:12,360
Speaker 11: want to see you happy, but we gotta have sound

2992
02:37:12,520 --> 02:37:14,039
Speaker 11: by what.

2993
02:37:14,040 --> 02:37:15,120
Speaker 4: Do you want?

2994
02:37:15,560 --> 02:37:18,959
Speaker 14: Okay, let me just say this. I have been in

2995
02:37:19,320 --> 02:37:22,240
Speaker 14: peace during the time that.

2996
02:37:22,120 --> 02:37:25,240
Speaker 8: God has called me. Not to date, I haven't.

2997
02:37:25,080 --> 02:37:28,959
Speaker 14: Murmured, complained, but it just seemed like the hetch was

2998
02:37:29,000 --> 02:37:29,720
Speaker 14: taken off.

2999
02:37:30,320 --> 02:37:32,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what you said earlier. That's why I understand

3000
02:37:32,280 --> 02:37:34,320
Speaker 1: what you're saying. You're in the right season right now

3001
02:37:34,320 --> 02:37:37,760
Speaker 1: where you said you want companionship. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Amen,

3002
02:37:38,320 --> 02:37:43,680
Speaker 1: you wanta matching pajamas this December getting on this reskin.

3003
02:37:44,000 --> 02:37:46,320
Speaker 1: Reskin gonna have you sitting there in the saying asylum

3004
02:37:47,560 --> 02:37:50,160
Speaker 1: it was just depressed. This man that told you to

3005
02:37:50,200 --> 02:37:51,800
Speaker 1: wait on the Lord forever.

3006
02:37:51,879 --> 02:37:54,119
Speaker 8: They got peace and joy.

3007
02:37:54,920 --> 02:38:01,000
Speaker 2: Like there's I may say a couple of things. I'm sorry, Oh,

3008
02:38:01,080 --> 02:38:03,600
Speaker 2: there's a couple of different things that I've heard you say. Okay,

3009
02:38:04,040 --> 02:38:06,039
Speaker 2: when you first came up, you talked about the peace

3010
02:38:06,080 --> 02:38:08,680
Speaker 2: and joy, and then you transition from a season a

3011
02:38:08,720 --> 02:38:11,600
Speaker 2: moment ago you said that, Hey, I'm a woman. I

3012
02:38:11,680 --> 02:38:14,160
Speaker 2: deserve to be treated this way. There are a couple

3013
02:38:14,200 --> 02:38:16,800
Speaker 2: of different things there that for me, I see a

3014
02:38:16,840 --> 02:38:21,119
Speaker 2: mirror because I was peace and joy before I became

3015
02:38:21,200 --> 02:38:25,119
Speaker 2: discontent and made a move out of intentional disobedience to God.

3016
02:38:25,840 --> 02:38:28,039
Speaker 2: And so you can be in a season where you're

3017
02:38:28,160 --> 02:38:31,680
Speaker 2: thinking that I am good here, but it's a lull,

3018
02:38:32,280 --> 02:38:35,800
Speaker 2: it's a law until you come face to face with hey,

3019
02:38:36,400 --> 02:38:39,160
Speaker 2: I'm not so good here God, what is happening? And

3020
02:38:39,200 --> 02:38:43,800
Speaker 2: what I've heard you say that you have equated relationships

3021
02:38:43,840 --> 02:38:47,440
Speaker 2: in men with validating your womanhood. And part of what

3022
02:38:47,480 --> 02:38:50,080
Speaker 2: you said in the beginning was how do I live

3023
02:38:50,240 --> 02:38:53,840
Speaker 2: during this season? What should I be doing right now?

3024
02:38:54,560 --> 02:38:58,120
Speaker 2: Live if you do not? Because the question I've had

3025
02:38:58,160 --> 02:39:00,320
Speaker 2: to ask myself, and this is not on you, but

3026
02:39:00,360 --> 02:39:02,680
Speaker 2: the question I've had to ask myself, what if I

3027
02:39:02,720 --> 02:39:06,520
Speaker 2: never get married? Can I still be content? Do I

3028
02:39:06,560 --> 02:39:09,080
Speaker 2: still have joy? Does this still mean that I am

3029
02:39:09,160 --> 02:39:13,000
Speaker 2: less than or am I worthy? It is independent of

3030
02:39:13,080 --> 02:39:17,120
Speaker 2: any man joining with you that's going to validate your womanhood.

3031
02:39:17,440 --> 02:39:20,480
Speaker 2: You are a completing whole as God has created informed

3032
02:39:20,520 --> 02:39:23,480
Speaker 2: you in your mother's womb, and so that's a sense

3033
02:39:23,520 --> 02:39:25,800
Speaker 2: that you have to be able to get to if

3034
02:39:25,840 --> 02:39:29,640
Speaker 2: He adds someone to your life. If you become someone's

3035
02:39:29,720 --> 02:39:33,160
Speaker 2: helpmate to God, be the glory. But if not, that

3036
02:39:33,240 --> 02:39:36,640
Speaker 2: doesn't take anything away you are as a woman. We

3037
02:39:36,760 --> 02:39:40,920
Speaker 2: are people, we are human. We have desires, but we

3038
02:39:41,080 --> 02:39:43,160
Speaker 2: have to be able to know how to handle those

3039
02:39:43,200 --> 02:39:46,160
Speaker 2: desires and not self outside the will of God with

3040
02:39:46,240 --> 02:39:49,760
Speaker 2: those desires like I did. So I just want you

3041
02:39:49,840 --> 02:39:54,440
Speaker 2: to be careful with what you're speaking and what you

3042
02:39:54,520 --> 02:39:59,519
Speaker 2: are saying, because I don't necessarily know if you hear yourself.

3043
02:40:00,280 --> 02:40:02,000
Speaker 2: And I think that's some of the things that Pastor

3044
02:40:02,080 --> 02:40:05,840
Speaker 2: King is touching upon because a lot of times from

3045
02:40:05,840 --> 02:40:11,720
Speaker 2: a ministerial standpoint, we hear what people don't necessarily say,

3046
02:40:13,520 --> 02:40:17,240
Speaker 2: and you said a lot, but what I've for me personally,

3047
02:40:17,320 --> 02:40:20,959
Speaker 2: what I've heard, those were system some concerns for me

3048
02:40:21,560 --> 02:40:23,360
Speaker 2: because you were at a place where you were like

3049
02:40:23,440 --> 02:40:26,200
Speaker 2: I was good, but now I'm like, I'm supposed to

3050
02:40:26,200 --> 02:40:29,680
Speaker 2: be experiencing this. Are you supposed to be experiencing that?

3051
02:40:29,879 --> 02:40:33,600
Speaker 2: Or is that discontent? Is this your season or you

3052
02:40:33,720 --> 02:40:36,080
Speaker 2: trying to make it your season? Because That goes back

3053
02:40:36,120 --> 02:40:39,240
Speaker 2: to what Pastor King was saying about timing, because if

3054
02:40:39,240 --> 02:40:42,879
Speaker 2: it was your season, it's your season. But if it's not,

3055
02:40:43,400 --> 02:40:49,040
Speaker 2: then you're trying to make it that way.

3056
02:40:49,320 --> 02:40:52,160
Speaker 1: So be still, Be still and know that I am God,

3057
02:40:52,280 --> 02:40:55,280
Speaker 1: and that's what the scripture. Be still and know that

3058
02:40:55,480 --> 02:40:58,959
Speaker 1: I am God. Weeping may endure for a night, but

3059
02:40:59,080 --> 02:41:03,200
Speaker 1: joy comment in the morning. It's a long morning. It's

3060
02:41:03,200 --> 02:41:08,080
Speaker 1: a long morning. Queen, introduce yourself.

3061
02:41:08,800 --> 02:41:13,480
Speaker 10: Hello, my name is Mary, and it's such an honor

3062
02:41:13,600 --> 02:41:14,920
Speaker 10: to be in the house of the Lord.

3063
02:41:15,160 --> 02:41:16,880
Speaker 1: Amen. You real saying amen?

3064
02:41:17,680 --> 02:41:18,000
Speaker 8: Brother?

3065
02:41:21,000 --> 02:41:22,640
Speaker 3: Okay, okay.

3066
02:41:23,160 --> 02:41:25,920
Speaker 2: My question is what is abstinence?

3067
02:41:26,400 --> 02:41:26,600
Speaker 10: Right?

3068
02:41:26,720 --> 02:41:29,560
Speaker 8: What is abstinence until you're married?

3069
02:41:30,760 --> 02:41:32,400
Speaker 1: As you said, what is abstinence?

3070
02:41:32,480 --> 02:41:35,119
Speaker 3: Yes, what is before you know marriage?

3071
02:41:35,360 --> 02:41:39,520
Speaker 1: Abstinence has been absent for sex before marriage.

3072
02:41:39,760 --> 02:41:40,120
Speaker 8: Okay.

3073
02:41:40,160 --> 02:41:41,000
Speaker 3: And then when you.

3074
02:41:40,959 --> 02:41:44,800
Speaker 10: Get in a relationship, do I tell them tell my boyfriend.

3075
02:41:44,800 --> 02:41:46,720
Speaker 1: Tell your boyfriend. You should have told him before he

3076
02:41:46,760 --> 02:41:49,640
Speaker 1: became your boyfriend, because he might not be your boyfriend

3077
02:41:49,680 --> 02:41:58,200
Speaker 1: if you tell him, you said, before you get in

3078
02:41:58,200 --> 02:42:01,120
Speaker 1: a relationship. In the dating process, all state your intentions

3079
02:42:01,120 --> 02:42:04,000
Speaker 1: in the fact that you are saving yourself a marriage.

3080
02:42:04,440 --> 02:42:08,279
Speaker 1: And then so that y'a are in alignment before y'all

3081
02:42:08,280 --> 02:42:09,160
Speaker 1: get in a commitment.

3082
02:42:10,280 --> 02:42:14,280
Speaker 10: Okay, so when we when he gets, you know, in

3083
02:42:14,360 --> 02:42:15,200
Speaker 10: the program.

3084
02:42:15,920 --> 02:42:18,120
Speaker 1: So how long do we well the fact that you

3085
02:42:18,120 --> 02:42:21,640
Speaker 1: didn't know what abstinence means? I'm wondering. So you said,

3086
02:42:21,720 --> 02:42:23,560
Speaker 1: why do you say you don't know what abstinence means?

3087
02:42:24,040 --> 02:42:26,560
Speaker 10: Now I'm trying to get the full definition of what

3088
02:42:26,840 --> 02:42:30,560
Speaker 10: actually an abstinence is from a male perspective.

3089
02:42:30,080 --> 02:42:32,800
Speaker 1: And a male perspective, it's a definition perspective.

3090
02:42:33,360 --> 02:42:34,280
Speaker 3: So what is it?

3091
02:42:35,560 --> 02:42:36,320
Speaker 1: Are you abstinate?

3092
02:42:36,920 --> 02:42:37,320
Speaker 8: I don't?

3093
02:42:37,480 --> 02:42:39,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, you are? How do you know?

3094
02:42:39,840 --> 02:42:43,680
Speaker 11: Because girl, if you get if you're giving it up,

3095
02:42:43,879 --> 02:42:47,520
Speaker 11: you ain't after that. If he looking on you and

3096
02:42:47,600 --> 02:42:51,000
Speaker 11: you doing stuff, you ain't after that. If your tongue

3097
02:42:51,080 --> 02:42:55,040
Speaker 11: down his throat and somebody got with you ain't after that.

3098
02:43:01,200 --> 02:43:01,440
Speaker 4: You know what.

3099
02:43:02,400 --> 02:43:05,959
Speaker 6: Let's let's see we're hearing now what what?

3100
02:43:05,959 --> 02:43:06,560
Speaker 4: What's what?

3101
02:43:06,680 --> 02:43:10,160
Speaker 11: Most of people Shanika said everything I said. You don't

3102
02:43:10,200 --> 02:43:13,760
Speaker 11: want to hear a man's perspective. You you don't want

3103
02:43:13,800 --> 02:43:15,800
Speaker 11: you you have to hear it from a woman. She's

3104
02:43:15,840 --> 02:43:19,000
Speaker 11: the same thing I said. Because here's a deal. I

3105
02:43:19,160 --> 02:43:21,480
Speaker 11: walked her through her process. We've been talking about this,

3106
02:43:21,520 --> 02:43:26,000
Speaker 11: how many years, too many years, Shanika, Pastor, I want

3107
02:43:26,080 --> 02:43:26,920
Speaker 11: some girl.

3108
02:43:27,040 --> 02:43:29,800
Speaker 4: You can't have none. You.

3109
02:43:29,800 --> 02:43:30,640
Speaker 1: You're a woman.

3110
02:43:31,280 --> 02:43:36,360
Speaker 11: You she's hard headed. Okay, we've been knowing each other

3111
02:43:36,400 --> 02:43:40,840
Speaker 11: for years. I'll counseled her. She's cried, we've talked, say

3112
02:43:41,080 --> 02:43:43,480
Speaker 11: she she she was hanging in the after Pastor, I'm

3113
02:43:43,520 --> 02:43:45,200
Speaker 11: just gonna get somebody to go to a room and

3114
02:43:45,440 --> 02:43:48,520
Speaker 11: do it. I said, the Lord gonna get you because

3115
02:43:48,520 --> 02:43:52,680
Speaker 11: you hear there, because you have waited so long, right,

3116
02:43:53,440 --> 02:43:55,520
Speaker 11: you have waited so long. You you you've done this.

3117
02:43:55,959 --> 02:43:59,320
Speaker 11: But I can't force you. It's between you and God.

3118
02:44:00,240 --> 02:44:03,160
Speaker 11: But what we ain't gonna do. We're not gonna lie

3119
02:44:03,160 --> 02:44:07,400
Speaker 11: about the situation. We're gonna be honest with ourselves. We're

3120
02:44:07,400 --> 02:44:08,880
Speaker 11: not gonna play like we don't know what abstin this

3121
02:44:09,080 --> 02:44:13,320
Speaker 11: is because you're too old. You're too old.

3122
02:44:14,120 --> 02:44:14,800
Speaker 1: Now.

3123
02:44:15,800 --> 02:44:21,800
Speaker 11: You're too old to be coming to a microphone.

3124
02:44:20,520 --> 02:44:26,000
Speaker 4: Asking what after this is? So stop it.

3125
02:44:27,760 --> 02:44:31,080
Speaker 11: Now, ask a real question and ask what you came

3126
02:44:31,120 --> 02:44:33,560
Speaker 11: here for so we can stop playing in church?

3127
02:44:39,360 --> 02:44:40,360
Speaker 3: Okay?

3128
02:44:40,959 --> 02:44:41,880
Speaker 4: Hello, shall me?

3129
02:44:42,240 --> 02:44:44,120
Speaker 3: Okay? How long do how long?

3130
02:44:44,200 --> 02:44:44,920
Speaker 8: Do how long?

3131
02:44:44,959 --> 02:44:47,119
Speaker 3: How long do I date my boyfriend?

3132
02:44:48,920 --> 02:44:52,560
Speaker 10: How when is the right time before we get into

3133
02:44:53,160 --> 02:44:57,520
Speaker 10: before we're married, we're in a relationship, we're practicing abstinence.

3134
02:44:58,040 --> 02:45:00,400
Speaker 3: How do we know when to like?

3135
02:45:01,320 --> 02:45:03,360
Speaker 8: You know when? How do you know?

3136
02:45:03,480 --> 02:45:05,959
Speaker 7: Is it when the body is feeling like, okay, we

3137
02:45:06,000 --> 02:45:07,200
Speaker 7: can't hold it anymore?

3138
02:45:07,680 --> 02:45:10,320
Speaker 1: Or is it does he want does he? Does he

3139
02:45:10,360 --> 02:45:11,039
Speaker 1: want to marry you?

3140
02:45:12,000 --> 02:45:12,440
Speaker 2: Yes?

3141
02:45:12,680 --> 02:45:14,959
Speaker 1: How you know because he asked you, He told me,

3142
02:45:15,280 --> 02:45:17,400
Speaker 1: he told you want to marry you. So wait till

3143
02:45:17,440 --> 02:45:22,200
Speaker 1: you ask you. God, bless you, thank you, thank you, God,

3144
02:45:22,280 --> 02:45:23,920
Speaker 1: bless you.

3145
02:45:24,480 --> 02:45:27,800
Speaker 2: All right, amen, Hi everyone, I'm Angel.

3146
02:45:28,080 --> 02:45:29,720
Speaker 3: I'm a member of DC three.

3147
02:45:30,000 --> 02:45:32,560
Speaker 1: Since we first started there. It is DC three.

3148
02:45:33,480 --> 02:45:37,119
Speaker 13: So I'm currently in a relationship right now. And before

3149
02:45:37,200 --> 02:45:38,680
Speaker 13: I was in a relationship.

3150
02:45:38,200 --> 02:45:39,720
Speaker 4: I was single for five years.

3151
02:45:41,440 --> 02:45:42,320
Speaker 8: He has children.

3152
02:45:42,400 --> 02:45:45,240
Speaker 13: I do not, But I guess my question is how

3153
02:45:45,240 --> 02:45:49,240
Speaker 13: do I, I guess, not be the lead and let

3154
02:45:49,320 --> 02:45:52,400
Speaker 13: him take the lead. I don't know how to let

3155
02:45:52,480 --> 02:45:56,320
Speaker 13: the rains go, the rains of what the reins of me?

3156
02:45:57,080 --> 02:46:00,720
Speaker 3: I guess who's saying, like, how do I him.

3157
02:46:00,520 --> 02:46:04,520
Speaker 13: To be the man that he was destined to be

3158
02:46:04,640 --> 02:46:07,800
Speaker 13: when I've always been the one to take care of

3159
02:46:07,959 --> 02:46:09,000
Speaker 13: everything for me?

3160
02:46:09,520 --> 02:46:11,600
Speaker 1: So the question is what are you feeling like you

3161
02:46:11,720 --> 02:46:15,320
Speaker 1: have the need to take over or let the reins,

3162
02:46:15,440 --> 02:46:17,480
Speaker 1: like what how are you showing up? First of all,

3163
02:46:17,480 --> 02:46:18,840
Speaker 1: how long have you been in this relationship?

3164
02:46:19,800 --> 02:46:20,560
Speaker 3: About six months?

3165
02:46:20,600 --> 02:46:20,760
Speaker 4: Now?

3166
02:46:21,000 --> 02:46:24,240
Speaker 1: Six months? And then what do you feel that you're

3167
02:46:24,320 --> 02:46:26,920
Speaker 1: doing that's not allowing him to take the lead.

3168
02:46:28,040 --> 02:46:30,119
Speaker 13: He says that I demasculine him.

3169
02:46:30,120 --> 02:46:31,879
Speaker 1: That's good, But.

3170
02:46:32,000 --> 02:46:34,520
Speaker 13: I guess the way I speak to him based on

3171
02:46:34,680 --> 02:46:37,480
Speaker 13: previous traumas that he's had.

3172
02:46:37,840 --> 02:46:40,080
Speaker 1: Is that is that previous traumas or the way you

3173
02:46:40,080 --> 02:46:40,640
Speaker 1: talk to him?

3174
02:46:40,720 --> 02:46:44,800
Speaker 13: I couldn't tell you, because you know what used to

3175
02:46:44,840 --> 02:46:47,960
Speaker 13: being by myself. So the way I talk to him

3176
02:46:48,000 --> 02:46:50,200
Speaker 13: is the way I would talk to anybody. It's not

3177
02:46:50,280 --> 02:46:52,640
Speaker 13: I'm not giving us like a specific oh like you're

3178
02:46:52,720 --> 02:46:54,440
Speaker 13: my man, I'm talking to you differently than how I

3179
02:46:54,480 --> 02:46:55,520
Speaker 13: would talk to anybody else.

3180
02:46:55,640 --> 02:46:58,600
Speaker 1: So has anybody ever said that you speak to them

3181
02:46:59,040 --> 02:47:02,119
Speaker 1: extremely harsh? No, So no one has ever said that.

3182
02:47:02,520 --> 02:47:05,440
Speaker 1: So when he says something to you the way you

3183
02:47:05,480 --> 02:47:07,240
Speaker 1: say it to him, does he stop you in the

3184
02:47:07,320 --> 02:47:10,000
Speaker 1: tracks and say you see how you just said that

3185
02:47:10,040 --> 02:47:10,280
Speaker 1: to me?

3186
02:47:10,360 --> 02:47:10,400
Speaker 4: No?

3187
02:47:10,560 --> 02:47:13,760
Speaker 13: He waits till like later on, when he's feeling some

3188
02:47:13,920 --> 02:47:17,480
Speaker 13: type of way to bring up that he feels like

3189
02:47:17,560 --> 02:47:20,959
Speaker 13: I've demasculated him, demasculated him, and.

3190
02:47:21,400 --> 02:47:23,720
Speaker 1: You have no reference when you think back on what

3191
02:47:23,760 --> 02:47:27,240
Speaker 1: you're saying, what he's saying. You don't have no understanding

3192
02:47:27,240 --> 02:47:27,960
Speaker 1: of what you're saying.

3193
02:47:28,080 --> 02:47:30,240
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm a rough woman as it is.

3194
02:47:30,280 --> 02:47:32,840
Speaker 1: See right there, right there, right there, s he's a

3195
02:47:32,840 --> 02:47:35,240
Speaker 1: breakthrough right there. It's a breakthrough right there. I felt

3196
02:47:35,280 --> 02:47:38,240
Speaker 1: the release happened right there when you said I'm right there.

3197
02:47:38,320 --> 02:47:41,240
Speaker 1: It came you said, I am a tough woman. You

3198
02:47:41,320 --> 02:47:43,959
Speaker 1: just said it. So the way that your natural heart

3199
02:47:44,040 --> 02:47:46,120
Speaker 1: posture is, you just said some key things. I've been

3200
02:47:46,200 --> 02:47:49,360
Speaker 1: by myself, by myself all this time, been five years,

3201
02:47:49,400 --> 02:47:52,000
Speaker 1: I've been single. Now I got somebody. I'm used to

3202
02:47:52,080 --> 02:47:55,360
Speaker 1: talking a certain way. I'm a tough woman. That's where

3203
02:47:55,400 --> 02:47:58,840
Speaker 1: you have to listen to yourself and talk soft. You

3204
02:47:58,879 --> 02:48:02,080
Speaker 1: gotta go get a one mentor or something that's that

3205
02:48:02,080 --> 02:48:05,000
Speaker 1: that can like women. I believe that women are great

3206
02:48:05,000 --> 02:48:07,720
Speaker 1: for women. So go ahead and talk to your your

3207
02:48:07,760 --> 02:48:09,879
Speaker 1: first lady right here. She can she can help you

3208
02:48:09,959 --> 02:48:13,039
Speaker 1: through that because you identify some things that you just said.

3209
02:48:13,040 --> 02:48:14,840
Speaker 1: You said, I'm a tough woman. A lot of men

3210
02:48:14,920 --> 02:48:17,000
Speaker 1: don't want women that come at them like that. I

3211
02:48:17,040 --> 02:48:19,199
Speaker 1: feel like they dating their homeboy. You know what I'm saying,

3212
02:48:19,200 --> 02:48:21,120
Speaker 1: It just don't feel good. So at the end of

3213
02:48:21,160 --> 02:48:23,800
Speaker 1: the day, you got to talk to himself, you know

3214
02:48:23,840 --> 02:48:26,720
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And so, but you you you touch

3215
02:48:26,760 --> 02:48:29,600
Speaker 1: on some key stuff and you actually started off saying,

3216
02:48:29,920 --> 02:48:33,640
Speaker 1: how do I let him pretty much lead, which automatically

3217
02:48:33,720 --> 02:48:36,640
Speaker 1: lets you know that you don't feel comfortable letting them lead.

3218
02:48:37,120 --> 02:48:39,920
Speaker 1: And so if you automatically don't feel comfortable letting them lead,

3219
02:48:39,959 --> 02:48:42,440
Speaker 1: guess what, you're being the one that's carrying more of

3220
02:48:42,480 --> 02:48:45,280
Speaker 1: the masculine energy in the relationship and he's wanting a

3221
02:48:45,360 --> 02:48:48,080
Speaker 1: feminine Women and men don't just come out and say

3222
02:48:48,120 --> 02:48:51,760
Speaker 1: you're masculating them using words like that unless you're actually

3223
02:48:51,800 --> 02:48:55,039
Speaker 1: emasculating them. You know what I'm saying. He don't watch

3224
02:48:55,160 --> 02:48:57,520
Speaker 1: something and and told him that's what that's what she's doing.

3225
02:48:59,320 --> 02:49:02,200
Speaker 1: That's exactly you know, you're masculating me. You know what

3226
02:49:02,240 --> 02:49:04,920
Speaker 1: I'm saying. He did some research for that, you know

3227
02:49:04,959 --> 02:49:06,600
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, because he said he could have just

3228
02:49:06,640 --> 02:49:08,360
Speaker 1: said you acting like a dude right now, you know

3229
02:49:08,400 --> 02:49:11,279
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But he used a good word to masculate.

3230
02:49:11,480 --> 02:49:14,480
Speaker 1: He used a PhD word, right there. So, so you

3231
02:49:14,480 --> 02:49:17,360
Speaker 1: got to make sure that you you you understand that,

3232
02:49:17,440 --> 02:49:20,199
Speaker 1: and like I said, get a woman mentor to help you.

3233
02:49:20,200 --> 02:49:22,039
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. And so do you do

3234
02:49:22,080 --> 02:49:23,480
Speaker 1: you provide that lady in the call.

3235
02:49:23,600 --> 02:49:25,920
Speaker 2: I'd be happy to help you with that because a

3236
02:49:25,959 --> 02:49:29,080
Speaker 2: lot of men they don't want to be talked at.

3237
02:49:29,760 --> 02:49:32,200
Speaker 2: They just don't. You just have to and I think

3238
02:49:32,240 --> 02:49:35,120
Speaker 2: you can get your point across without being rough. That

3239
02:49:35,160 --> 02:49:39,040
Speaker 2: doesn't mean you're being a pushover or anything like that. Uh,

3240
02:49:39,040 --> 02:49:41,800
Speaker 2: I just nick tone is very important. And I can

3241
02:49:41,840 --> 02:49:45,120
Speaker 2: say my son he just recently told us, you know,

3242
02:49:45,120 --> 02:49:47,200
Speaker 2: in a relationship that he was in. This is my

3243
02:49:47,280 --> 02:49:50,000
Speaker 2: oldest son and he had a sweet girlfriend. And he

3244
02:49:50,120 --> 02:49:51,560
Speaker 2: called me and I said, what happened?

3245
02:49:51,760 --> 02:49:52,440
Speaker 4: We not together?

3246
02:49:52,520 --> 02:49:55,200
Speaker 2: I said why? He said, she's just too manly for me.

3247
02:49:55,240 --> 02:49:58,240
Speaker 2: And I said, what is that? What is that? He so,

3248
02:49:58,360 --> 02:50:00,160
Speaker 2: I don't like, don't talk to me like that. I

3249
02:50:00,200 --> 02:50:03,240
Speaker 2: wouldn't raise like that. He said, you would always get

3250
02:50:03,280 --> 02:50:07,080
Speaker 2: your point across without talking at us. I have two

3251
02:50:07,120 --> 02:50:09,320
Speaker 2: big boys, you know, and I have a daughter, but

3252
02:50:09,400 --> 02:50:13,400
Speaker 2: I never demean them, or I don't demean my husband.

3253
02:50:13,640 --> 02:50:16,080
Speaker 2: I'm not going to talk at him because that starts

3254
02:50:16,560 --> 02:50:19,280
Speaker 2: what's going on now, and and people getting in their

3255
02:50:19,320 --> 02:50:21,280
Speaker 2: feelings and things like that. So I just think when

3256
02:50:21,320 --> 02:50:23,520
Speaker 2: it's more to it, hey, you can set up and

3257
02:50:23,520 --> 02:50:26,039
Speaker 2: say that you have to say, but other than that,

3258
02:50:26,240 --> 02:50:29,440
Speaker 2: just watch how you deliver it. Most men are looking

3259
02:50:29,480 --> 02:50:33,119
Speaker 2: for something. I feel that it's a little soft when

3260
02:50:33,160 --> 02:50:36,400
Speaker 2: it's necessary and then be strong when it's necessary.

3261
02:50:37,200 --> 02:50:38,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good to help you.

3262
02:50:39,280 --> 02:50:42,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, go ahead, Yeah, so I'm sorry, ma'am.

3263
02:50:43,440 --> 02:50:45,560
Speaker 1: Quick question you still want to talk to you passed away?

3264
02:50:45,959 --> 02:50:48,360
Speaker 5: Passed a real quick so as far as you said,

3265
02:50:48,400 --> 02:50:51,400
Speaker 5: your boyfriend and he said he was triggered by some

3266
02:50:51,440 --> 02:50:52,920
Speaker 5: of the ways you were talking to him from his

3267
02:50:53,120 --> 02:50:56,000
Speaker 5: previousans with mom.

3268
02:50:56,120 --> 02:50:58,760
Speaker 4: Okay, got it. So have you kind of.

3269
02:51:00,320 --> 02:51:03,039
Speaker 5: Dug deeper and asked more questions for him and giving

3270
02:51:03,120 --> 02:51:05,320
Speaker 5: him a safe space to kind of tell you his

3271
02:51:05,360 --> 02:51:07,520
Speaker 5: traumas and where that comes from or to just surface

3272
02:51:07,520 --> 02:51:09,640
Speaker 5: it's just from my mother and she just talked this way,

3273
02:51:09,760 --> 02:51:10,720
Speaker 5: then you can really get into it.

3274
02:51:10,720 --> 02:51:13,200
Speaker 13: I'm he's had moments to sit and talk to me

3275
02:51:13,240 --> 02:51:17,039
Speaker 13: about his past as far as like growing up in

3276
02:51:17,080 --> 02:51:21,000
Speaker 13: his childhood and same with me because our childhoods were

3277
02:51:21,000 --> 02:51:21,720
Speaker 13: completely different.

3278
02:51:22,080 --> 02:51:24,200
Speaker 5: So he said He's had opportunities to give you that,

3279
02:51:24,240 --> 02:51:27,800
Speaker 5: But have you asked questions like, hey, how did this

3280
02:51:27,879 --> 02:51:29,120
Speaker 5: make you feel at this age?

3281
02:51:29,160 --> 02:51:30,800
Speaker 4: Or where does this think you're coming from?

3282
02:51:30,959 --> 02:51:33,199
Speaker 5: Have you seen someone else and talk to it, because

3283
02:51:33,320 --> 02:51:35,160
Speaker 5: and the reason I'm saying that if you haven't done that,

3284
02:51:35,200 --> 02:51:37,560
Speaker 5: If you're doing it, great, wonderful. But a man he

3285
02:51:37,560 --> 02:51:41,640
Speaker 5: hears that, our guard comes down right, and then I'm

3286
02:51:41,720 --> 02:51:45,560
Speaker 5: able to really tell you what's going on and where

3287
02:51:45,560 --> 02:51:49,280
Speaker 5: this is coming from. If you sometimes dismiss it because

3288
02:51:49,320 --> 02:51:51,040
Speaker 5: a lot of men are taught to like, all right,

3289
02:51:51,160 --> 02:51:53,520
Speaker 5: just get over just the push ups, you'll be all right, like,

3290
02:51:53,800 --> 02:51:55,920
Speaker 5: and those types of things are being dispelled now because

3291
02:51:55,959 --> 02:51:58,240
Speaker 5: we need more of an understanding where we come from.

3292
02:51:58,440 --> 02:52:00,240
Speaker 5: So I'm saying all as to say, if you give

3293
02:52:00,320 --> 02:52:03,360
Speaker 5: him more of that, then that's a softer side and

3294
02:52:03,360 --> 02:52:05,000
Speaker 5: then you can understand him a little bit better.

3295
02:52:05,040 --> 02:52:05,640
Speaker 4: That's just mine.

3296
02:52:05,800 --> 02:52:09,000
Speaker 13: I don't think I'm necessarily like dismissing it. I just

3297
02:52:09,040 --> 02:52:11,520
Speaker 13: feel like I don't want to dig too deep to

3298
02:52:11,600 --> 02:52:13,880
Speaker 13: where it puts him in a shell that he doesn't

3299
02:52:13,879 --> 02:52:15,160
Speaker 13: even want to talk about it.

3300
02:52:15,640 --> 02:52:17,680
Speaker 1: But you made that up, So you made that up

3301
02:52:17,720 --> 02:52:19,880
Speaker 1: in your head. The fact that that's my assumption.

3302
02:52:20,520 --> 02:52:23,520
Speaker 6: But that's how Homeboy's talking. It shows you care though.

3303
02:52:24,040 --> 02:52:26,199
Speaker 6: You talk to me about it, man, and then you'll

3304
02:52:26,240 --> 02:52:28,160
Speaker 6: tell me about it. Otherwise you may not ever tell

3305
02:52:28,200 --> 02:52:30,039
Speaker 6: me about it if I don't ever say, hey, man,

3306
02:52:30,080 --> 02:52:31,600
Speaker 6: you know you could talk to me about that.

3307
02:52:31,640 --> 02:52:33,240
Speaker 4: You know it happened to me too, or whatever. You know.

3308
02:52:33,520 --> 02:52:35,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you just said that he actually told you

3309
02:52:35,800 --> 02:52:38,200
Speaker 1: about childhood trauma. That's a moment to be like, hey,

3310
02:52:38,200 --> 02:52:39,200
Speaker 1: would you like to talk about that?

3311
02:52:39,280 --> 02:52:39,440
Speaker 12: Yeah?

3312
02:52:39,480 --> 02:52:42,039
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, and he'll start talking to you. But

3313
02:52:42,080 --> 02:52:44,200
Speaker 1: if you if you act like you're not interested, he

3314
02:52:44,240 --> 02:52:46,400
Speaker 1: can't do nothing but assume that you're not interested, he

3315
02:52:46,640 --> 02:52:48,360
Speaker 1: lets you do. And you got to think of something

3316
02:52:49,080 --> 02:52:52,800
Speaker 1: that is the biggest thing. You're in a committed relationship

3317
02:52:52,800 --> 02:52:55,600
Speaker 1: with him, meaning you said for five years you didn't

3318
02:52:55,640 --> 02:52:58,640
Speaker 1: have anybody, So you did something right in order for

3319
02:52:58,720 --> 02:53:01,320
Speaker 1: him to commit to you. Now it's time to cultivate

3320
02:53:01,360 --> 02:53:03,760
Speaker 1: that relationship so that if this is a person that

3321
02:53:03,800 --> 02:53:06,320
Speaker 1: God intended for you to be with, y'all gonna have

3322
02:53:06,400 --> 02:53:08,000
Speaker 1: to go through it anyway. Y'all gonna have to talk

3323
02:53:08,040 --> 02:53:10,680
Speaker 1: about all that stuff in order to get to marriage.

3324
02:53:10,840 --> 02:53:13,280
Speaker 1: And see a lot of times we're wanting certain things

3325
02:53:13,320 --> 02:53:15,520
Speaker 1: out of a person that we're not showing up for

3326
02:53:15,720 --> 02:53:18,000
Speaker 1: to be that meaning that we want a husband when

3327
02:53:18,040 --> 02:53:20,240
Speaker 1: we're not showing up as a wife. I may want

3328
02:53:20,240 --> 02:53:22,120
Speaker 1: a wife and I'm not showing up as a husband.

3329
02:53:22,360 --> 02:53:24,720
Speaker 1: And so in order to get to that place, you

3330
02:53:24,800 --> 02:53:27,480
Speaker 1: got to start having those uncomfortable conversations because if you

3331
02:53:27,520 --> 02:53:30,320
Speaker 1: can't have it now, you can't have it later. So

3332
02:53:30,480 --> 02:53:32,680
Speaker 1: get through those conversations. Talk to him, and let him

3333
02:53:32,680 --> 02:53:34,440
Speaker 1: be the one to say, you know what, I don't

3334
02:53:34,440 --> 02:53:36,760
Speaker 1: want to talk about that. Hey, listen, whenever you're open

3335
02:53:36,800 --> 02:53:38,520
Speaker 1: and you want to talk about it, I just want

3336
02:53:38,560 --> 02:53:40,120
Speaker 1: you to know I'm really concerned about you and I

3337
02:53:40,120 --> 02:53:42,640
Speaker 1: would love for you to share that with me. Even

3338
02:53:42,640 --> 02:53:44,560
Speaker 1: if he walks away from that conversation, she'd be like, dang,

3339
02:53:44,680 --> 02:53:46,840
Speaker 1: nobody has never said that to me. And he's gonna

3340
02:53:46,840 --> 02:53:49,120
Speaker 1: come to you later on and have that conversation and

3341
02:53:49,160 --> 02:53:52,240
Speaker 1: then you just pass another heart place in him to

3342
02:53:52,280 --> 02:53:54,400
Speaker 1: get a deeper place in his heart. That would be

3343
02:53:54,400 --> 02:53:56,480
Speaker 1: a beautiful moment. I can't wait here the testimony of that,

3344
02:53:56,760 --> 02:53:57,720
Speaker 1: So thank you so much.

3345
02:53:58,240 --> 02:54:00,480
Speaker 6: Can I just say one thing, as incredible as li

3346
02:54:00,560 --> 02:54:03,000
Speaker 6: tericists put that I think when a woman says that

3347
02:54:03,160 --> 02:54:07,000
Speaker 6: to her man, it's even more incredible in that moment.

3348
02:54:07,120 --> 02:54:10,119
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, absolutely, go ahead Queen.

3349
02:54:11,840 --> 02:54:11,880
Speaker 4: O.

3350
02:54:13,360 --> 02:54:14,200
Speaker 2: Hi everyone.

3351
02:54:14,440 --> 02:54:15,840
Speaker 3: I am Daphne.

3352
02:54:16,080 --> 02:54:16,600
Speaker 16: I am.

3353
02:54:18,120 --> 02:54:20,959
Speaker 1: Like we had an AA meeting.

3354
02:54:22,280 --> 02:54:24,120
Speaker 2: I am a member of DC three.

3355
02:54:25,600 --> 02:54:29,960
Speaker 16: I actually have a testimony in words of encouragement to Jessica.

3356
02:54:30,200 --> 02:54:33,760
Speaker 16: Two years ago, I was diagnosed with stage four coreo

3357
02:54:33,920 --> 02:54:35,480
Speaker 16: corsiona councer.

3358
02:54:35,720 --> 02:54:37,599
Speaker 3: And you can get this cancer.

3359
02:54:37,320 --> 02:54:44,520
Speaker 16: From abortions and miscarriages. Abortions, miscarriages and being pregnant in general.

3360
02:54:45,879 --> 02:54:49,760
Speaker 16: I had the counsel started in my uterus and it

3361
02:54:49,840 --> 02:54:53,160
Speaker 16: spread it to my chest, to my lungs into my head,

3362
02:54:53,680 --> 02:54:59,160
Speaker 16: so it was very aggressive. I had multiple blood transfusions.

3363
02:54:59,240 --> 02:55:05,400
Speaker 16: I took four different keymos weekly. However, when I was

3364
02:55:05,440 --> 02:55:09,880
Speaker 16: first informed of it, it was the day before Christmas,

3365
02:55:09,920 --> 02:55:15,120
Speaker 16: actually December twenty four, twenty twenty two, and once I

3366
02:55:15,280 --> 02:55:18,240
Speaker 16: received that information at one time, I believe that I

3367
02:55:18,280 --> 02:55:18,560
Speaker 16: had it.

3368
02:55:19,120 --> 02:55:26,600
Speaker 2: Within five months, I was cancer free. I had two thank.

3369
02:55:27,160 --> 02:55:30,840
Speaker 16: I had my peak line got infected, so it built

3370
02:55:30,920 --> 02:55:35,480
Speaker 16: up a bacteria in my knees called a seratio. So

3371
02:55:35,560 --> 02:55:39,360
Speaker 16: I had two knee surgeries on both knees, so my

3372
02:55:39,480 --> 02:55:43,320
Speaker 16: bones in my knees. It's a RoboN bone to bone

3373
02:55:44,400 --> 02:55:47,760
Speaker 16: and by the grace of God, I made it. And

3374
02:55:47,800 --> 02:55:51,000
Speaker 16: I heard you talking about cancer and I'm like, keep

3375
02:55:51,040 --> 02:55:55,480
Speaker 16: the fake that you have because I got through it

3376
02:55:55,600 --> 02:56:04,800
Speaker 16: and you will too. And God is just so amazing

3377
02:56:05,440 --> 02:56:07,760
Speaker 16: because people was.

3378
02:56:07,720 --> 02:56:08,920
Speaker 3: Planning in my funeral.

3379
02:56:09,120 --> 02:56:10,519
Speaker 8: But then at chary time.

3380
02:56:10,440 --> 02:56:14,520
Speaker 16: I'm praising God because I'm like, this is just the challenge.

3381
02:56:15,200 --> 02:56:17,240
Speaker 2: It's something God want me to see.

3382
02:56:17,280 --> 02:56:20,080
Speaker 16: It's something that the enemy is trying to hander me

3383
02:56:20,160 --> 02:56:25,039
Speaker 16: from saying. And as I like, just this past Sunday,

3384
02:56:26,400 --> 02:56:33,680
Speaker 16: I call a revelation with me joining the church, Gosh Church.

3385
02:56:33,800 --> 02:56:38,320
Speaker 16: So I rededicated my life and a lot of things

3386
02:56:38,360 --> 02:56:41,359
Speaker 16: that I used to do I no longer do anymore

3387
02:56:41,480 --> 02:56:47,200
Speaker 16: because I'm allowing God to lead and I'm trusting him

3388
02:56:47,600 --> 02:56:52,280
Speaker 16: and sometimes it's very challenging, but I'm just grateful that

3389
02:56:52,400 --> 02:56:54,480
Speaker 16: I am getting through it, and I just want you

3390
02:56:54,560 --> 02:56:55,640
Speaker 16: to know you will get.

3391
02:56:55,440 --> 02:56:56,000
Speaker 2: Through it too.

3392
02:56:56,640 --> 02:56:58,760
Speaker 1: Amen. Amen, you want to say something.

3393
02:57:00,120 --> 02:57:04,800
Speaker 3: To me, thank you, I want to. I want to

3394
02:57:04,879 --> 02:57:07,320
Speaker 3: let you know I appreciate that. And I want you

3395
02:57:07,400 --> 02:57:11,080
Speaker 3: to know that faith sounds like something, it walks like something,

3396
02:57:11,560 --> 02:57:15,800
Speaker 3: it talks like something. I believe without my heart. I'm well,

3397
02:57:17,160 --> 02:57:19,720
Speaker 3: so I walk like it, I talk like it, I

3398
02:57:19,879 --> 02:57:23,600
Speaker 3: move like it. I laugh like it. I smile like it.

3399
02:57:24,760 --> 02:57:29,359
Speaker 3: Doubt also looks like something being unsure. It sounds like something.

3400
02:57:30,400 --> 02:57:33,720
Speaker 3: I make sure that that's not present around me. If

3401
02:57:33,720 --> 02:57:36,840
Speaker 3: I hear it in somebody when they're talking to me,

3402
02:57:37,560 --> 02:57:40,840
Speaker 3: they're talking to themselves. I don't want to be in

3403
02:57:40,840 --> 02:57:45,640
Speaker 3: the environment. I keep a safe environment. I am. I

3404
02:57:45,680 --> 02:57:49,360
Speaker 3: love faith. It's opportunity for God to keep moving for me.

3405
02:57:49,400 --> 02:57:52,560
Speaker 3: I love faith, so I thank you. You'll be just

3406
02:57:52,600 --> 02:57:55,440
Speaker 3: fine if you want to be and if you don't,

3407
02:57:55,480 --> 02:57:58,879
Speaker 3: you won't. If you want to be happy, you're gonna

3408
02:57:58,879 --> 02:58:02,840
Speaker 3: be happy. God will be done. I don't get to

3409
02:58:02,920 --> 02:58:05,520
Speaker 3: choose how my life is gonna go and what God's

3410
02:58:05,560 --> 02:58:10,360
Speaker 3: will be done. I fully submit with joy. God's will

3411
02:58:10,400 --> 02:58:14,560
Speaker 3: be done. I'm not fighting to cling to life here

3412
02:58:14,600 --> 02:58:19,840
Speaker 3: on earth. It's temporary. If my death means more than

3413
02:58:19,920 --> 02:58:24,280
Speaker 3: me living, God's will be done. If me living God, Hey,

3414
02:58:24,480 --> 02:58:29,320
Speaker 3: I'm with it. Letting all of that go. It allows

3415
02:58:29,360 --> 02:58:35,320
Speaker 3: me to be in rest. I ain't clinging to nothing whatever.

3416
02:58:37,040 --> 02:58:39,760
Speaker 3: I don't care, and I don't know how else to

3417
02:58:39,800 --> 02:58:42,880
Speaker 3: say that. I don't care. God's will be done. He

3418
02:58:42,959 --> 02:58:47,320
Speaker 3: loves me, he has chosen me for whatever he wants.

3419
02:58:47,680 --> 02:58:50,960
Speaker 3: I am fully submitted to that. Do your think. Let's

3420
02:58:51,040 --> 02:58:54,800
Speaker 3: enjoy this. I'm gonna smile. So don't cry. You sound

3421
02:58:54,879 --> 02:58:59,600
Speaker 3: like you don't cry? Be happy? Faith, sound like something? Okay?

3422
02:58:59,680 --> 02:59:04,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh, tears of joy. Here's a joy. That's a

3423
02:59:04,360 --> 02:59:06,920
Speaker 1: that's a testimony. That's a miracle. That's a walking miracle.

3424
02:59:07,000 --> 02:59:10,119
Speaker 1: Right there, a walking miracle. Joey and Queen.

3425
02:59:11,840 --> 02:59:14,320
Speaker 2: Hello, I'm Ebony and I'm from Fort Worth.

3426
02:59:15,680 --> 02:59:15,880
Speaker 12: Hi.

3427
02:59:16,360 --> 02:59:17,959
Speaker 3: I have a question for you, Jessica.

3428
02:59:19,160 --> 02:59:22,920
Speaker 17: I'm actively seeking to I'm actively seeing. I'm actively seeking

3429
02:59:22,959 --> 02:59:26,160
Speaker 17: to possess a value, the possessive value.

3430
02:59:26,200 --> 02:59:28,520
Speaker 1: Can you do your favorite tilt the microphone down? Yes,

3431
02:59:28,600 --> 02:59:29,080
Speaker 1: I can hear you.

3432
02:59:29,240 --> 02:59:30,879
Speaker 3: Yes, Okay, I have.

3433
02:59:30,879 --> 02:59:41,600
Speaker 17: A question for you, Jessica.

3434
02:59:36,840 --> 02:59:38,920
Speaker 1: She said, I'm starting all the way over. Here's my notes.

3435
02:59:39,520 --> 02:59:41,000
Speaker 1: This is the order of service.

3436
02:59:41,640 --> 02:59:44,279
Speaker 3: Go ahead, okay.

3437
02:59:45,040 --> 02:59:49,840
Speaker 17: I'm actively seeking to possess values of a Proverbs thirty

3438
02:59:49,879 --> 02:59:55,280
Speaker 17: one woman. How can I apply these characteristics this day

3439
02:59:56,120 --> 02:59:56,640
Speaker 17: in time?

3440
02:59:57,080 --> 02:59:58,400
Speaker 1: You asked, Jessica that question.

3441
02:59:58,680 --> 03:00:02,960
Speaker 3: Yes, that's that stuff talking about what tells Hey, as

3442
03:00:02,959 --> 03:00:06,959
Speaker 3: long as there's proof, y'all recording this. Wow, here's the deal.

3443
03:00:08,440 --> 03:00:11,879
Speaker 3: You can do nothing. What do you don't come with

3444
03:00:11,920 --> 03:00:18,200
Speaker 3: a manual? You need Jesus. Worship God, spend time with God,

3445
03:00:19,320 --> 03:00:23,920
Speaker 3: speak in tongues, shut everything out, and just worship. It

3446
03:00:24,000 --> 03:00:26,880
Speaker 3: shows you how to submit. It shows you how to serve.

3447
03:00:27,280 --> 03:00:30,560
Speaker 3: It builds a patience. It makes you know how to

3448
03:00:30,600 --> 03:00:34,000
Speaker 3: dig deep within yourself and say God, search the innermost parts.

3449
03:00:34,280 --> 03:00:37,880
Speaker 3: It reveals yourself to yourself. It reveals how much God

3450
03:00:37,959 --> 03:00:41,000
Speaker 3: loves you and how much you don't love God. It's humbling.

3451
03:00:41,720 --> 03:00:45,200
Speaker 3: The presence of God is everything you need. It's nothing

3452
03:00:45,280 --> 03:00:48,360
Speaker 3: outside of yourself that you can prep to be A

3453
03:00:48,400 --> 03:00:51,720
Speaker 3: proverb thirty one? Who is that? That was a mother

3454
03:00:51,840 --> 03:00:56,800
Speaker 3: telling her son at vice. But this mother was submitted

3455
03:00:56,800 --> 03:01:01,800
Speaker 3: to the Lord. She was virtuous. She was speaking of herself.

3456
03:01:03,160 --> 03:01:08,160
Speaker 3: I can't give myself virtue. I'm dirty. I can't claim myself.

3457
03:01:08,200 --> 03:01:10,959
Speaker 3: Look at men, I'm dirty. Look at my flesh. It

3458
03:01:11,000 --> 03:01:14,760
Speaker 3: comes up, it disappears, it tall, it pears its head,

3459
03:01:14,840 --> 03:01:18,600
Speaker 3: and it what am I? I can't give you no advice.

3460
03:01:19,320 --> 03:01:24,760
Speaker 3: The Holy Spirit, it leads it gods, It directs the

3461
03:01:24,760 --> 03:01:32,080
Speaker 3: blood of Jesus, It purifies Father, God, authority, God, protective, God.

3462
03:01:33,480 --> 03:01:36,240
Speaker 3: Once you learn how to be led by God, you

3463
03:01:36,360 --> 03:01:41,560
Speaker 3: will be You will be perfect for a man. And

3464
03:01:41,600 --> 03:01:45,440
Speaker 3: you'll also know how to respect authority. You'll know how

3465
03:01:45,440 --> 03:01:51,640
Speaker 3: to recognize authority because you've been under it. That's that

3466
03:01:52,000 --> 03:01:55,360
Speaker 3: everything you need as a woman to be prepared to

3467
03:01:55,440 --> 03:01:59,280
Speaker 3: be a wife, a woman of all the things. It's

3468
03:01:59,440 --> 03:02:01,280
Speaker 3: just God, it's Jesus.

3469
03:02:02,400 --> 03:02:03,440
Speaker 4: Nobody can teach you this.

3470
03:02:03,560 --> 03:02:08,000
Speaker 3: Your mama, she it's gonna be lace with stuff. You

3471
03:02:08,040 --> 03:02:11,400
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. She gonna lace it with her

3472
03:02:11,440 --> 03:02:16,560
Speaker 3: own experience Jesus when I pray. Girl, Look, let me

3473
03:02:16,600 --> 03:02:20,120
Speaker 3: tell you. I tell God everything. I don't care what

3474
03:02:20,160 --> 03:02:22,320
Speaker 3: I did. If I dug get my nose, I'd be like,

3475
03:02:22,400 --> 03:02:24,959
Speaker 3: let me tell you. I was in the car, I

3476
03:02:25,000 --> 03:02:25,520
Speaker 3: felt that.

3477
03:02:25,640 --> 03:02:26,400
Speaker 4: Not right there.

3478
03:02:26,440 --> 03:02:29,960
Speaker 3: I was like, do I get it? Do I have tissue?

3479
03:02:32,040 --> 03:02:37,359
Speaker 3: Is this a thumfer day or not? He's my friend.

3480
03:02:39,200 --> 03:02:41,760
Speaker 3: I don't withhold anything, And you know what, that makes

3481
03:02:41,760 --> 03:02:47,480
Speaker 3: me a great communicator. I am trained when I'm with God.

3482
03:02:48,760 --> 03:02:52,880
Speaker 3: So you want to be everything. God's presence is the training.

3483
03:02:53,640 --> 03:02:55,720
Speaker 3: Learn how to talk with him, kick it with him.

3484
03:02:55,879 --> 03:02:58,120
Speaker 3: He picks my clothes. I'm like, I wanna put this

3485
03:02:58,160 --> 03:02:59,720
Speaker 3: shirt here, like you ain't gonna light that shirt. You're

3486
03:02:59,720 --> 03:03:03,360
Speaker 3: gonna be sitting up like this all day. Slaucher, all right, cool,

3487
03:03:03,600 --> 03:03:10,640
Speaker 3: He's everything for me because I'm submitted. I'm submitted, okay,

3488
03:03:10,760 --> 03:03:12,480
Speaker 3: So I can't give you no advice. All right?

3489
03:03:13,120 --> 03:03:15,959
Speaker 1: You just did that was beautiful. That was beautiful. That

3490
03:03:16,000 --> 03:03:18,720
Speaker 1: was beautiful. No, that was beautiful advice.

3491
03:03:18,800 --> 03:03:20,680
Speaker 4: It was really beautiful. Yeah, that was real good.

3492
03:03:20,879 --> 03:03:23,959
Speaker 1: I like that. Yeah, all right, thank you so much

3493
03:03:23,959 --> 03:03:29,400
Speaker 1: if that means I chief good. What how the air

3494
03:03:29,440 --> 03:03:31,680
Speaker 1: bound this stage, She's gonna ask you about proverb thirty

3495
03:03:31,720 --> 03:03:34,320
Speaker 1: one woman, you go a head. I had the whole

3496
03:03:34,360 --> 03:03:36,280
Speaker 1: first lady up here, and I'll asked you how the

3497
03:03:36,280 --> 03:03:39,040
Speaker 1: air bound this day had a woman that was forty

3498
03:03:39,040 --> 03:03:40,959
Speaker 1: five years old when she gave up a virginity. But

3499
03:03:41,000 --> 03:03:45,560
Speaker 1: she asked you that is something else, boy, something else?

3500
03:03:54,440 --> 03:03:57,200
Speaker 1: Go ahead? What's your question? Comment concerned? Prairie quest? What

3501
03:03:57,280 --> 03:03:57,560
Speaker 1: is it?

3502
03:04:02,280 --> 03:04:02,640
Speaker 2: Okay?

3503
03:04:02,720 --> 03:04:04,840
Speaker 7: So I brought this down as low as I thought

3504
03:04:04,840 --> 03:04:08,280
Speaker 7: it would go. So my name is Kayla. I'm twenty seven.

3505
03:04:08,680 --> 03:04:11,560
Speaker 7: I just moved here from Alabama and I'm in the

3506
03:04:11,600 --> 03:04:13,120
Speaker 7: Air Force and that's what brought me here.

3507
03:04:13,360 --> 03:04:15,760
Speaker 1: Good welcome and thank you for fighting for our country.

3508
03:04:16,320 --> 03:04:17,120
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you.

3509
03:04:19,320 --> 03:04:25,280
Speaker 7: With that being said, what you say, I.

3510
03:04:25,240 --> 03:04:26,120
Speaker 8: Said, we fight you so.

3511
03:04:27,600 --> 03:04:28,080
Speaker 1: Exactly.

3512
03:04:30,879 --> 03:04:34,320
Speaker 7: So with that trans just being about transitions, I realized

3513
03:04:34,320 --> 03:04:35,000
Speaker 7: that I've accomplished.

3514
03:04:35,080 --> 03:04:39,680
Speaker 1: Go closer to the microphone, please, but yes, okay, better, yes, okay.

3515
03:04:39,920 --> 03:04:42,640
Speaker 7: So I realized I've accomplished a lot with my age,

3516
03:04:42,640 --> 03:04:45,840
Speaker 7: on my background, new moves, military, all of that, and

3517
03:04:45,879 --> 03:04:48,680
Speaker 7: I feel like God brought me here for something. Not

3518
03:04:48,720 --> 03:04:51,600
Speaker 7: the military, no shade to them, but I know it's

3519
03:04:51,640 --> 03:04:52,680
Speaker 7: more than just.

3520
03:04:53,320 --> 03:04:54,000
Speaker 8: The air Force.

3521
03:04:54,800 --> 03:04:57,000
Speaker 2: But I don't really know what that is yet.

3522
03:04:57,160 --> 03:05:02,120
Speaker 7: And although I have like that foundation in God, like

3523
03:05:02,200 --> 03:05:05,000
Speaker 7: my dad as a minister, come from a biblical family,

3524
03:05:05,040 --> 03:05:08,760
Speaker 7: all of that great stuff, I don't really feel connected here.

3525
03:05:09,120 --> 03:05:09,879
Speaker 8: And I'm trying to.

3526
03:05:09,800 --> 03:05:12,840
Speaker 7: Figure out how if you guys have any advice on

3527
03:05:13,000 --> 03:05:16,000
Speaker 7: getting realigned, to try to figure out what brought me

3528
03:05:16,040 --> 03:05:17,199
Speaker 7: here and what God may.

3529
03:05:17,080 --> 03:05:18,160
Speaker 4: Have for me in this chapter?

3530
03:05:18,760 --> 03:05:20,440
Speaker 1: Are you connected with a church here?

3531
03:05:22,959 --> 03:05:23,199
Speaker 4: No?

3532
03:05:23,760 --> 03:05:25,840
Speaker 1: Well, it takes so long you think about it?

3533
03:05:26,840 --> 03:05:27,480
Speaker 3: Well, I said it.

3534
03:05:27,520 --> 03:05:29,640
Speaker 7: I don't think the microphone called it though, Oh.

3535
03:05:29,520 --> 03:05:30,959
Speaker 1: Would you say? No?

3536
03:05:30,959 --> 03:05:31,160
Speaker 4: No?

3537
03:05:31,520 --> 03:05:34,440
Speaker 1: Okay? So, and how long you been here?

3538
03:05:36,280 --> 03:05:36,800
Speaker 8: Too long?

3539
03:05:37,800 --> 03:05:41,480
Speaker 1: Too long? And so is there a particular reason have

3540
03:05:41,560 --> 03:05:44,920
Speaker 1: you do you visit churches or or like what is that?

3541
03:05:44,959 --> 03:05:46,720
Speaker 1: Do you feel the need to be connected to the

3542
03:05:46,720 --> 03:05:47,360
Speaker 1: local church.

3543
03:05:48,520 --> 03:05:49,360
Speaker 8: I would like to.

3544
03:05:50,640 --> 03:05:52,640
Speaker 7: So when I first got here, I got sick, so

3545
03:05:52,760 --> 03:05:54,200
Speaker 7: I was kind of in the house for the first

3546
03:05:54,280 --> 03:05:56,000
Speaker 7: little while, and then I found out I had to

3547
03:05:56,040 --> 03:05:59,320
Speaker 7: compromise immune system, and then some more stuff, and then

3548
03:05:59,320 --> 03:06:01,160
Speaker 7: I started going through stuff with my job. So I've

3549
03:06:01,240 --> 03:06:05,200
Speaker 7: kind of been like to myself outside of that, and

3550
03:06:05,200 --> 03:06:07,000
Speaker 7: I'm getting into the stage to where now I kind

3551
03:06:07,000 --> 03:06:12,760
Speaker 7: of want to be outside, but it's high outside, so.

3552
03:06:13,320 --> 03:06:18,560
Speaker 1: Class. Would you like to invite her to Sunday service.

3553
03:06:19,800 --> 03:06:22,360
Speaker 4: To DC three great air condition?

3554
03:06:22,800 --> 03:06:30,400
Speaker 6: Let me say this pristine, pristine Antarctic Alaskan Santa claus Is,

3555
03:06:30,600 --> 03:06:33,119
Speaker 6: December twenty fourth, towards the night.

3556
03:06:36,400 --> 03:06:37,879
Speaker 1: I don't know what you talk about. What I'm saying,

3557
03:06:37,920 --> 03:06:39,640
Speaker 1: would you like to invite us? She says she doesn't

3558
03:06:39,680 --> 03:06:42,640
Speaker 1: have a church home, okay, and she's from Alabama. Well,

3559
03:06:42,840 --> 03:06:45,320
Speaker 1: let me do like this transition. We'll be talking about

3560
03:06:45,320 --> 03:06:47,880
Speaker 1: this this whole weekend and one. We're glad to have

3561
03:06:47,959 --> 03:06:54,240
Speaker 1: you here in Texas. Let's give old Texas welcome because

3562
03:06:54,360 --> 03:06:55,879
Speaker 1: change can be difficult.

3563
03:06:55,959 --> 03:06:59,120
Speaker 11: You seem like you're gone through several things even when

3564
03:06:59,120 --> 03:07:02,040
Speaker 11: you got here, and it can be confusing. And one

3565
03:07:02,080 --> 03:07:03,920
Speaker 11: of the things, like I just say briefly, when I

3566
03:07:04,040 --> 03:07:07,360
Speaker 11: was leaving, when I was in college in Huntsville, I

3567
03:07:07,480 --> 03:07:09,560
Speaker 11: just knew God called me to come to Dallas, and

3568
03:07:09,560 --> 03:07:14,439
Speaker 11: I didn't know why. I discovered it as I connected

3569
03:07:14,480 --> 03:07:19,680
Speaker 11: to a church, continue to pursue my education and just

3570
03:07:19,760 --> 03:07:23,600
Speaker 11: continue to grow, And through serving at church and building

3571
03:07:23,640 --> 03:07:28,640
Speaker 11: relationships and having my own personal time, community helped me

3572
03:07:28,760 --> 03:07:32,880
Speaker 11: discover why I was here. And I think that's one

3573
03:07:32,879 --> 03:07:34,720
Speaker 11: of the things we're talking about, is being a part

3574
03:07:34,760 --> 03:07:38,960
Speaker 11: of community. So you being here tonight is not by accident, right,

3575
03:07:39,440 --> 03:07:42,880
Speaker 11: There's a divine assignment for God for your life. So

3576
03:07:43,000 --> 03:07:45,280
Speaker 11: once we do want to invite you to come and

3577
03:07:45,360 --> 03:07:48,840
Speaker 11: be a part, you already are here. You know where

3578
03:07:48,840 --> 03:07:52,480
Speaker 11: you are. We love you here. They can't tell you

3579
03:07:52,480 --> 03:07:57,520
Speaker 11: what that oh yeah, yeah, yeah, So that excuse is washed.

3580
03:07:57,920 --> 03:08:01,160
Speaker 11: You met the pastor and the wife so we could

3581
03:08:01,160 --> 03:08:03,440
Speaker 11: talk with you afterwards. It just hey, But at the

3582
03:08:03,480 --> 03:08:05,879
Speaker 11: end of the day I tell people that, hey, go

3583
03:08:06,000 --> 03:08:09,440
Speaker 11: where you feel you are led, but go somewhere and

3584
03:08:09,920 --> 03:08:11,680
Speaker 11: church is not gonna save you, but it will help

3585
03:08:11,720 --> 03:08:15,080
Speaker 11: develop you. Right, so I'll just say that and that

3586
03:08:15,160 --> 03:08:18,360
Speaker 11: will begin now. As it helps you align and understand

3587
03:08:18,360 --> 03:08:20,680
Speaker 11: your purpose in God, then can begin to give you

3588
03:08:20,840 --> 03:08:24,039
Speaker 11: direction or you can fulfill the purpose He has a

3589
03:08:24,120 --> 03:08:26,760
Speaker 11: sign for you and have peace in this area of

3590
03:08:26,800 --> 03:08:27,920
Speaker 11: your life.

3591
03:08:28,160 --> 03:08:32,280
Speaker 1: Amen. So thank you so much. I appreciate you. Listen.

3592
03:08:32,840 --> 03:08:35,840
Speaker 1: I asked Jessica to sing a song to lead us out,

3593
03:08:35,879 --> 03:08:38,040
Speaker 1: but I have to apologize. She said she ain't gonna

3594
03:08:38,040 --> 03:08:41,560
Speaker 1: sing unless I apologize to her on the microphone. So

3595
03:08:41,680 --> 03:08:44,879
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Jessica for all the bad things I said

3596
03:08:44,879 --> 03:08:48,520
Speaker 1: to you during this episode, and I'll never do it

3597
03:08:48,560 --> 03:08:53,240
Speaker 1: again today. Tomorrow I may start back, but today I'll

3598
03:08:53,240 --> 03:08:55,920
Speaker 1: never do it again. I'm sorry, Jessica. So can you

3599
03:08:55,959 --> 03:08:57,840
Speaker 1: please sing a song for the people of God?

3600
03:08:59,640 --> 03:09:00,680
Speaker 4: Amen? All right?

3601
03:09:02,440 --> 03:09:05,040
Speaker 3: All right, don't stare at me, I'll get nervous. Thanks.

3602
03:09:07,120 --> 03:09:08,120
Speaker 3: Still looking Hi?

3603
03:09:08,320 --> 03:09:08,720
Speaker 17: All right?

3604
03:09:09,680 --> 03:09:11,760
Speaker 3: The song that I told the terrace I was gonna

3605
03:09:11,760 --> 03:09:13,520
Speaker 3: sing because he wanted me to sing some song that

3606
03:09:13,560 --> 03:09:17,760
Speaker 3: he played from the CCMs channel. I don't know the lyrics,

3607
03:09:18,480 --> 03:09:20,720
Speaker 3: so I'm gonna sing one that we should all know.

3608
03:09:22,200 --> 03:09:27,440
Speaker 3: You gave me my hands to reach out to me.

3609
03:09:29,680 --> 03:09:36,879
Speaker 3: Show them your love, and you'll perfect plan you gave

3610
03:09:37,080 --> 03:09:42,320
Speaker 3: me my yes, I can hear your voice so clear,

3611
03:09:43,840 --> 03:09:49,440
Speaker 3: I can hear the crises of sinners. But can I

3612
03:09:49,600 --> 03:09:57,640
Speaker 3: wipe away that tease? You gave me my voice to

3613
03:09:57,840 --> 03:10:05,120
Speaker 3: sing your words, to tell of all your praises to

3614
03:10:05,280 --> 03:10:11,240
Speaker 3: those who never. But with my eyes I see the

3615
03:10:11,480 --> 03:10:20,080
Speaker 3: need for more availability. Lorty, I hear hearts that have

3616
03:10:20,360 --> 03:10:29,279
Speaker 3: been broken, so many people to be free. So Lord,

3617
03:10:30,480 --> 03:10:41,320
Speaker 3: I'm available to you. My will, I give to you,

3618
03:10:42,520 --> 03:10:45,320
Speaker 3: and I'll do what you say.

3619
03:10:45,800 --> 03:10:45,879
Speaker 4: Do.

3620
03:10:47,440 --> 03:10:55,760
Speaker 3: Use me, Lord to show someone the way. And it

3621
03:10:55,920 --> 03:11:06,720
Speaker 3: ain'tble me to say my storeage is empty. And I

3622
03:11:06,840 --> 03:11:16,640
Speaker 3: am available to you. Now I'm giving back to you

3623
03:11:18,600 --> 03:11:26,640
Speaker 3: all those twos you gave to me my hands, my ears,

3624
03:11:26,680 --> 03:11:30,640
Speaker 3: my voice, my eyes, so you can use the mask

3625
03:11:30,959 --> 03:11:39,200
Speaker 3: you please. I have emptied on my cold so that

3626
03:11:39,480 --> 03:11:48,160
Speaker 3: you can feel me. Now I'm free. I just want

3627
03:11:48,360 --> 03:11:59,640
Speaker 3: to be more available to you. So Lord, I'm a

3628
03:11:59,760 --> 03:12:09,840
Speaker 3: vail the bowl to you, my weird I kill to you,

3629
03:12:11,040 --> 03:12:14,160
Speaker 3: and I'll do what you say.

3630
03:12:14,720 --> 03:12:14,800
Speaker 1: Do.

3631
03:12:15,879 --> 03:12:22,200
Speaker 3: Please, use me, Lord to show someone of the way.

3632
03:12:24,920 --> 03:12:31,640
Speaker 3: And it ain't you for me to say my store

3633
03:12:32,120 --> 03:12:40,800
Speaker 3: ridge is empty. Yeah, my store ridge is empty. My

3634
03:12:41,040 --> 03:12:51,960
Speaker 3: store rage his empty. And I am of a bowl

3635
03:12:52,879 --> 03:12:53,800
Speaker 3: to you.

3636
03:12:56,879 --> 03:13:15,080
Speaker 12: Hallelujah.

3637
03:13:15,920 --> 03:13:21,879
Speaker 1: Isn't she awesome? Her voice just arrests you. She has

3638
03:13:21,920 --> 03:13:25,640
Speaker 1: such an anointing in the timbre of her voice. Just

3639
03:13:25,959 --> 03:13:31,199
Speaker 1: absolutely amazing. God, Thank you, Jessica, Thank you for allowing

3640
03:13:31,240 --> 03:13:37,560
Speaker 1: God to use you. Anybody want to get saved, anybody

3641
03:13:37,560 --> 03:13:39,119
Speaker 1: want to get saved. I don't want to close this out.

3642
03:13:39,160 --> 03:13:41,920
Speaker 1: If you know that you want to give your life

3643
03:13:41,920 --> 03:13:45,120
Speaker 1: to Christ today and we're at a church, wei, the

3644
03:13:45,200 --> 03:13:47,120
Speaker 1: doors of the church are open if you want to

3645
03:13:47,120 --> 03:13:49,039
Speaker 1: get saved. You know I'm old school. If you want

3646
03:13:49,040 --> 03:13:50,760
Speaker 1: to get saved, just walk down to the altar and

3647
03:13:50,760 --> 03:13:52,400
Speaker 1: we're going to walk you through the sinner's prairie. If

3648
03:13:52,400 --> 03:13:54,280
Speaker 1: you feel like if you were to die right now,

3649
03:13:54,720 --> 03:13:58,520
Speaker 1: you would not go to heaven. Roma's ten ninety ten says,

3650
03:13:58,560 --> 03:14:00,800
Speaker 1: if you confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ's Lord,

3651
03:14:00,840 --> 03:14:02,760
Speaker 1: and believe in your heart that God raised them from

3652
03:14:02,800 --> 03:14:05,640
Speaker 1: the dead, then thou shall be saved. And so I

3653
03:14:05,640 --> 03:14:08,880
Speaker 1: always want to extend the opportunity if you know that

3654
03:14:08,920 --> 03:14:11,080
Speaker 1: you're living a wayward life, if you're living a life

3655
03:14:11,120 --> 03:14:14,120
Speaker 1: of sin, not saying that you're not perfect, but the

3656
03:14:14,160 --> 03:14:16,800
Speaker 1: Bible calls you righteous when you give your life to Christ,

3657
03:14:16,920 --> 03:14:20,000
Speaker 1: meaning you're in right standing with him. And if you

3658
03:14:20,040 --> 03:14:22,680
Speaker 1: want to give your life to Jesus Christ right now,

3659
03:14:22,760 --> 03:14:24,440
Speaker 1: we want to allow you to come down to this

3660
03:14:24,560 --> 03:14:27,720
Speaker 1: altar and give your life to Christ. So everybody saved.

3661
03:14:27,800 --> 03:14:32,640
Speaker 1: Y'all good, y'all good, and everybody save. Everybody say all right,

3662
03:14:32,920 --> 03:14:38,520
Speaker 1: all right, all right, we're good. Listen, Pastor King, thank you,

3663
03:14:39,240 --> 03:14:44,480
Speaker 1: thank you for creating the atmosphere. He said something so generous.

3664
03:14:45,160 --> 03:14:46,600
Speaker 1: I was asking him. I was like, what is the

3665
03:14:46,680 --> 03:14:50,680
Speaker 1: time allotment? He was like, it's Friday night, Just however

3666
03:14:50,720 --> 03:14:52,160
Speaker 1: long you want to go. I was like, well, I'm

3667
03:14:52,200 --> 03:14:54,199
Speaker 1: just gonna do about two hours and we're done. He said,

3668
03:14:54,280 --> 03:14:56,280
Speaker 1: you ain't got to do two hours. Just let pretty

3669
03:14:56,320 --> 03:14:58,880
Speaker 1: much the Holy Spirit do what the Holy Spirit does.

3670
03:14:58,879 --> 03:15:01,440
Speaker 1: And it's almost eleven clock. Can y'all believe that we've

3671
03:15:01,440 --> 03:15:03,920
Speaker 1: been sitting here since seven point thirty I got to

3672
03:15:04,000 --> 03:15:07,000
Speaker 1: use the bathroom and everything. We just been sitting here

3673
03:15:07,720 --> 03:15:10,920
Speaker 1: and for all these hours. And I shouldn't have drunk

3674
03:15:10,959 --> 03:15:13,480
Speaker 1: their water before I came on stage because it's coming

3675
03:15:13,520 --> 03:15:17,360
Speaker 1: back with vengeance. But listen, but thank you so much

3676
03:15:17,440 --> 03:15:19,400
Speaker 1: for creating this atmosphere.

3677
03:15:19,440 --> 03:15:19,640
Speaker 11: Man.

3678
03:15:19,800 --> 03:15:24,480
Speaker 1: He has a heart to serve young adults, knowing that

3679
03:15:25,040 --> 03:15:28,040
Speaker 1: we need spaces like this. So this event kept a

3680
03:15:28,080 --> 03:15:30,160
Speaker 1: lot of y'all out of trouble, didn't it, Uh huh?

3681
03:15:30,200 --> 03:15:32,880
Speaker 1: Because you know typically when you at home and you

3682
03:15:32,879 --> 03:15:36,720
Speaker 1: you know, you idled, you know, idle minds the devil's workshop.

3683
03:15:36,840 --> 03:15:41,240
Speaker 1: And so I love that you allowed this to take place,

3684
03:15:41,320 --> 03:15:45,760
Speaker 1: and so thank you so much, first Lady and Pastor King.

3685
03:15:45,840 --> 03:15:48,280
Speaker 1: I appreciate all that y'all do here in the De

3686
03:15:48,360 --> 03:15:53,680
Speaker 1: Soto Metroplex helping to make Christ known and to amplify

3687
03:15:54,160 --> 03:15:56,800
Speaker 1: the Bible. Thank y'all so much. Give it up for

3688
03:15:56,840 --> 03:16:02,039
Speaker 1: these amazing panelists for their transfer, parency, their vulnerability. I

3689
03:16:02,160 --> 03:16:05,240
Speaker 1: thank y'all so much. I speak blessings over yall life.

3690
03:16:06,520 --> 03:16:08,120
Speaker 1: That's pretty much. You want to say anything before we

3691
03:16:08,160 --> 03:16:08,680
Speaker 1: close out?

3692
03:16:09,959 --> 03:16:13,280
Speaker 11: Yeah, this is just the first day tomorrow, Brandon, who

3693
03:16:13,280 --> 03:16:16,000
Speaker 11: you had saying about tomorrow? Can we give it up

3694
03:16:16,000 --> 03:16:18,840
Speaker 11: for our young adult team who help put this together.

3695
03:16:20,000 --> 03:16:22,080
Speaker 11: It's a weekend, so I want you to go ahead

3696
03:16:22,120 --> 03:16:26,560
Speaker 11: quickly and share Brandon, what is taking place in the morning.

3697
03:16:27,080 --> 03:16:29,680
Speaker 11: It's gonna be some exciting things. And then Sunday morning,

3698
03:16:29,760 --> 03:16:31,119
Speaker 11: go ahead real quick, all right.

3699
03:16:31,040 --> 03:16:32,320
Speaker 18: Y'all give it up for the pend on this panel.

3700
03:16:32,360 --> 03:16:36,920
Speaker 18: Let's give it up on real quick, real quick. Tomorrow morning.

3701
03:16:37,000 --> 03:16:40,000
Speaker 18: Doors are opening up at nine am on tomorrow. It's

3702
03:16:40,040 --> 03:16:42,560
Speaker 18: gonna be an amazing time. We have our community choir that

3703
03:16:42,720 --> 03:16:45,640
Speaker 18: is actually doing a concert in the morning, so you

3704
03:16:45,680 --> 03:16:46,680
Speaker 18: want to be here for that.

3705
03:16:46,680 --> 03:16:47,640
Speaker 1: That's gonna be great.

3706
03:16:47,959 --> 03:16:50,879
Speaker 18: After that concert is over, we're gonna go into our

3707
03:16:51,040 --> 03:16:53,080
Speaker 18: general Session period on tomorrow.

3708
03:16:53,560 --> 03:16:54,320
Speaker 1: General Session.

3709
03:16:54,320 --> 03:16:58,760
Speaker 18: We got amazing, amazing speakers coming that's gonna be tomorrow

3710
03:16:58,840 --> 03:17:00,320
Speaker 18: and pasting put up.

3711
03:17:00,240 --> 03:17:00,840
Speaker 3: On the tomorrow.

3712
03:17:03,040 --> 03:17:04,560
Speaker 4: Oh tomorrow, Yeah, give them the topic.

3713
03:17:04,640 --> 03:17:05,880
Speaker 1: So tomorrow.

3714
03:17:07,000 --> 03:17:07,560
Speaker 12: I got.

3715
03:17:09,040 --> 03:17:11,480
Speaker 4: If a concert. They're not gonna be singing all morning.

3716
03:17:11,480 --> 03:17:16,280
Speaker 11: No, not all morning, two three songs. They we're not

3717
03:17:16,320 --> 03:17:19,000
Speaker 11: getting up in the morning. They're here, but hell, you're Jackson.

3718
03:17:19,040 --> 03:17:22,200
Speaker 11: We just it's gonna just get us started. So they

3719
03:17:22,200 --> 03:17:25,680
Speaker 11: were clarify that we're like concert, really no, we're not

3720
03:17:25,720 --> 03:17:26,080
Speaker 11: doing that.

3721
03:17:26,560 --> 03:17:26,600
Speaker 12: No.

3722
03:17:27,160 --> 03:17:32,000
Speaker 1: So so tomorrow we will be.

3723
03:17:32,280 --> 03:17:35,240
Speaker 18: We will be in the general Sessions. It's gonna be

3724
03:17:35,560 --> 03:17:41,400
Speaker 18: talking about the power of change, elevating decision making, making

3725
03:17:41,480 --> 03:17:48,640
Speaker 18: moves without regrets. We're gonna be also dealing with the fear,

3726
03:17:48,760 --> 03:17:53,320
Speaker 18: dealing with your fear, also opportunities for growth. So all

3727
03:17:53,360 --> 03:17:56,440
Speaker 18: of these different things will be happening on tomorrow in

3728
03:17:56,520 --> 03:17:59,600
Speaker 18: the general Session, and at the end we're gonna have

3729
03:17:59,680 --> 03:18:02,200
Speaker 18: Q and guess what else is gonna happen during the

3730
03:18:02,280 --> 03:18:04,160
Speaker 18: Q and A period on tomorrow. You will be able

3731
03:18:04,200 --> 03:18:06,600
Speaker 18: to eat your lunch and food during that Q and

3732
03:18:06,640 --> 03:18:10,360
Speaker 18: A time and ask those questions. So please come back

3733
03:18:10,400 --> 03:18:12,960
Speaker 18: on tomorrow. And also we're gonna have vendors in the building,

3734
03:18:13,080 --> 03:18:15,240
Speaker 18: y'all give it up. Our vendors that's gonna be here tomorrow,

3735
03:18:15,720 --> 03:18:18,480
Speaker 18: so you'll be able to patronize them and connect with them.

3736
03:18:18,800 --> 03:18:21,680
Speaker 18: So we got all those great things happening on tomorrow,

3737
03:18:21,959 --> 03:18:25,600
Speaker 18: so please come. Doors is opening up at nine am tomorrow,

3738
03:18:25,600 --> 03:18:28,040
Speaker 18: So y'all come tomorrow and let's have a great time.

3739
03:18:28,320 --> 03:18:30,120
Speaker 18: And then Sunday gonna be the close out, but we'll

3740
03:18:30,160 --> 03:18:32,600
Speaker 18: talk more about that on tomorrow as we close out.

3741
03:18:32,600 --> 03:18:34,760
Speaker 1: All right, y'all good, all right?

3742
03:18:35,000 --> 03:18:38,160
Speaker 11: And then last thing, could y'all help me do something

3743
03:18:38,320 --> 03:18:40,800
Speaker 11: because here it is. I've been doing this a while,

3744
03:18:40,920 --> 03:18:43,600
Speaker 11: and I know when you're going out and pouring into

3745
03:18:43,640 --> 03:18:47,240
Speaker 11: people across the country, across the world, and La Teris

3746
03:18:47,280 --> 03:18:49,440
Speaker 11: has been doing this for a long time, and this

3747
03:18:49,600 --> 03:18:53,840
Speaker 11: Dear Future Wifey podcast all the blessings that come with it,

3748
03:18:54,440 --> 03:18:58,520
Speaker 11: attacks come with it too, right, and you can try

3749
03:18:58,560 --> 03:19:00,959
Speaker 11: to keep a good spirit about it even with the

3750
03:19:01,040 --> 03:19:02,400
Speaker 11: whole engagement piece.

3751
03:19:03,240 --> 03:19:05,800
Speaker 4: That's that man business who he gonna marry.

3752
03:19:05,920 --> 03:19:10,080
Speaker 11: He's letting you see a hand, be thankful for the hand, right.

3753
03:19:11,400 --> 03:19:15,400
Speaker 11: And so here's what I'm saying, I really I value

3754
03:19:15,640 --> 03:19:17,600
Speaker 11: the work you put into this because of people don't

3755
03:19:17,600 --> 03:19:19,280
Speaker 11: know the work you put into it, the prayer you

3756
03:19:19,360 --> 03:19:20,359
Speaker 11: put into it.

3757
03:19:20,360 --> 03:19:21,600
Speaker 4: It's intentional, and.

3758
03:19:21,520 --> 03:19:23,879
Speaker 11: That's why we allow it to take place at the church,

3759
03:19:23,920 --> 03:19:26,520
Speaker 11: because I know his heart. But I want us to

3760
03:19:26,600 --> 03:19:29,600
Speaker 11: do something. I don't want us just to be takers.

3761
03:19:30,120 --> 03:19:32,920
Speaker 11: I want us to also be givers. So if you

3762
03:19:32,959 --> 03:19:36,160
Speaker 11: could come forward and stretch your hands toward the terrorists,

3763
03:19:36,160 --> 03:19:40,760
Speaker 11: and let's pray over him that God blesses his marriage

3764
03:19:41,240 --> 03:19:45,120
Speaker 11: and God blesses this podcast to do greater than he

3765
03:19:45,240 --> 03:19:46,080
Speaker 11: ever expected.

3766
03:19:46,120 --> 03:19:49,960
Speaker 4: Can we do that? Did you have anything else before? All? Right?

3767
03:19:50,120 --> 03:19:52,400
Speaker 11: Can we give him a hand to everybody? Thank everybody,

3768
03:19:52,480 --> 03:19:55,720
Speaker 11: Thank all of y'all. We thank all of y'all for.

3769
03:19:56,120 --> 03:19:58,879
Speaker 4: What you're doing. So just stretch your hands toward.

3770
03:20:00,080 --> 03:20:02,560
Speaker 11: And those who want to come up here and put

3771
03:20:02,600 --> 03:20:03,640
Speaker 11: your hands on him.

3772
03:20:04,200 --> 03:20:06,400
Speaker 4: We believe God. I do.

3773
03:20:06,560 --> 03:20:09,560
Speaker 11: While you while it's okay to come forward, you can

3774
03:20:09,560 --> 03:20:12,119
Speaker 11: move from your seat. I do want to thank all

3775
03:20:12,160 --> 03:20:15,959
Speaker 11: of you all. I want you to hear the fact

3776
03:20:15,959 --> 03:20:18,480
Speaker 11: that the reason we do this, and while the Terris

3777
03:20:18,520 --> 03:20:22,959
Speaker 11: is doing this, it may sound challenging, it may sound

3778
03:20:23,000 --> 03:20:26,520
Speaker 11: a little rough, but the reason I speak the way

3779
03:20:26,560 --> 03:20:29,800
Speaker 11: I speak to you is because I know what happens

3780
03:20:29,840 --> 03:20:33,520
Speaker 11: behind closed doors. I know we got to deal with

3781
03:20:34,360 --> 03:20:37,000
Speaker 11: and we sit down, and this man right here has

3782
03:20:37,040 --> 03:20:38,680
Speaker 11: gone through a lot.

3783
03:20:38,800 --> 03:20:41,000
Speaker 4: I've seen him in door lot. We haven't talked, but

3784
03:20:41,120 --> 03:20:43,080
Speaker 4: I've watched him, and I.

3785
03:20:43,040 --> 03:20:46,600
Speaker 11: Thank God for his life. And so let's pray. Father,

3786
03:20:46,640 --> 03:20:51,560
Speaker 11: we thank you for this brother la Terris, which feel that.

3787
03:20:51,680 --> 03:20:55,039
Speaker 11: We thank you for how you've crafted and created him.

3788
03:20:55,400 --> 03:20:57,960
Speaker 4: We thank you for the vision that you've given him.

3789
03:20:58,280 --> 03:21:02,920
Speaker 11: We thank God that he is open and transparent about

3790
03:21:02,959 --> 03:21:07,280
Speaker 11: his life and about his journey because he realizes he's

3791
03:21:07,400 --> 03:21:10,800
Speaker 11: nothing without you, and so he can be open in

3792
03:21:10,920 --> 03:21:14,120
Speaker 11: private and that's why you can use him with annointed

3793
03:21:14,160 --> 03:21:16,920
Speaker 11: in public. We thank you right now God for his

3794
03:21:17,000 --> 03:21:20,360
Speaker 11: journey as a man. We thank you for his journey

3795
03:21:20,360 --> 03:21:23,040
Speaker 11: as a man of God. God, we thank you God

3796
03:21:23,120 --> 03:21:25,879
Speaker 11: that even in his best days and even in his

3797
03:21:26,040 --> 03:21:29,480
Speaker 11: worst days, You've been there for every last one. We

3798
03:21:29,600 --> 03:21:31,520
Speaker 11: thank you for the things that he had to go

3799
03:21:31,640 --> 03:21:35,119
Speaker 11: through to be a blessing to so many other people.

3800
03:21:35,959 --> 03:21:38,320
Speaker 11: So even right now, God, we thank you. We celebrate

3801
03:21:38,360 --> 03:21:41,480
Speaker 11: with him all the success that has happened in his

3802
03:21:41,560 --> 03:21:44,560
Speaker 11: life and all the success that has happened with this podcast.

3803
03:21:44,800 --> 03:21:47,240
Speaker 11: We thank you for every person that's been touched, those

3804
03:21:47,320 --> 03:21:50,879
Speaker 11: he will never meet, those who have come to Christ

3805
03:21:50,879 --> 03:21:54,119
Speaker 11: that he will never meet, to against of heaven, whose

3806
03:21:54,200 --> 03:21:57,119
Speaker 11: lives have been helped and transition in a positive way

3807
03:21:57,320 --> 03:21:59,760
Speaker 11: he will never meet. Thank you for the impact he

3808
03:21:59,800 --> 03:22:03,280
Speaker 11: will never know until he sees you face to face.

3809
03:22:03,840 --> 03:22:05,680
Speaker 11: But even right now, God, we thank you, right now

3810
03:22:05,760 --> 03:22:07,840
Speaker 11: God for his life, and we thank you God for

3811
03:22:07,959 --> 03:22:12,160
Speaker 11: this new transition in his life, the transition from being

3812
03:22:12,200 --> 03:22:15,480
Speaker 11: married to divorce. That now, God, this transition is journey

3813
03:22:16,080 --> 03:22:19,360
Speaker 11: of being one with someone else. We thank you God

3814
03:22:19,400 --> 03:22:22,160
Speaker 11: that even in the days to come, God, as preparations

3815
03:22:22,200 --> 03:22:24,480
Speaker 11: are taking place, as their planning, as they're talking, as

3816
03:22:24,480 --> 03:22:27,440
Speaker 11: they're communicating, God, we thank you right now God that

3817
03:22:27,720 --> 03:22:31,920
Speaker 11: we are you will continue to cover him from the

3818
03:22:31,959 --> 03:22:34,360
Speaker 11: public that doesn't need to know what needs to be

3819
03:22:34,480 --> 03:22:36,959
Speaker 11: private and help him and her.

3820
03:22:37,080 --> 03:22:39,720
Speaker 4: Help them get to know one another, Help them.

3821
03:22:39,600 --> 03:22:42,240
Speaker 11: Find spaces God where they don't have to have it

3822
03:22:42,280 --> 03:22:44,680
Speaker 11: on the internet and have it in public. Help them

3823
03:22:44,720 --> 03:22:48,680
Speaker 11: have private times to build strong behind the scenes, so

3824
03:22:48,720 --> 03:22:51,120
Speaker 11: that when when they step out in public, no weapon

3825
03:22:51,200 --> 03:22:54,400
Speaker 11: formed against them shall be able to prosper. We thank

3826
03:22:54,440 --> 03:22:57,320
Speaker 11: you right now for peace in their communication. We thank

3827
03:22:57,320 --> 03:23:00,280
Speaker 11: you right now for love in their relationship. We think

3828
03:23:00,280 --> 03:23:03,040
Speaker 11: you right now for their finances that will continue to flow.

3829
03:23:03,240 --> 03:23:05,320
Speaker 11: We thank you for their faith that they will grow

3830
03:23:05,360 --> 03:23:08,240
Speaker 11: together in every single way. We thank you right now

3831
03:23:08,240 --> 03:23:10,920
Speaker 11: God that you're gonna open doors that they never thought

3832
03:23:10,959 --> 03:23:14,680
Speaker 11: could be open. And God, in this transition in their lives,

3833
03:23:15,280 --> 03:23:19,280
Speaker 11: blow their minds. Blow their minds so much God that

3834
03:23:19,360 --> 03:23:22,200
Speaker 11: they can't even stand it. Blow their minds that one

3835
03:23:22,280 --> 03:23:25,120
Speaker 11: day they'll just stand and look at each other and

3836
03:23:25,240 --> 03:23:29,080
Speaker 11: tears will come because they can't imagine what a God

3837
03:23:29,160 --> 03:23:32,080
Speaker 11: can love them like this. We thank you right now

3838
03:23:32,120 --> 03:23:34,600
Speaker 11: God for every person that's here today. We thank you

3839
03:23:34,680 --> 03:23:36,800
Speaker 11: God for those who are single, those who are married,

3840
03:23:36,840 --> 03:23:39,360
Speaker 11: those who are in transition, those who have desires of

3841
03:23:39,400 --> 03:23:42,080
Speaker 11: their heart, those on the panel. They could have been

3842
03:23:42,160 --> 03:23:45,760
Speaker 11: anywhere else, but you crafted us to be here tonight.

3843
03:23:45,959 --> 03:23:47,879
Speaker 11: And for that, right now, God, I thank you for

3844
03:23:48,000 --> 03:23:51,080
Speaker 11: peace for every person that's here. I thank you for healing,

3845
03:23:51,160 --> 03:23:53,360
Speaker 11: for every person that's here. I thank you for a

3846
03:23:53,400 --> 03:23:56,440
Speaker 11: direction for every person that's here. And matter of fact, God,

3847
03:23:56,480 --> 03:23:59,280
Speaker 11: we're not gonna take anything else from you. Right now,

3848
03:23:59,520 --> 03:24:01,520
Speaker 11: here's the we're going to do. We're gonna lift our

3849
03:24:01,560 --> 03:24:04,360
Speaker 11: hands and just tell you, thank you. Thank you for

3850
03:24:04,400 --> 03:24:07,280
Speaker 11: being such a kind God. Thank you for being such

3851
03:24:07,280 --> 03:24:10,640
Speaker 11: a faithful God. Thank you for being such a forgiving God.

3852
03:24:10,720 --> 03:24:13,400
Speaker 11: Thank you for being such a healing God. Thank you

3853
03:24:13,760 --> 03:24:14,359
Speaker 11: for being.

3854
03:24:14,160 --> 03:24:18,320
Speaker 4: A God who's never turned his back on us. We

3855
03:24:18,440 --> 03:24:19,680
Speaker 4: honor you in this place.

3856
03:24:20,480 --> 03:24:23,760
Speaker 11: We honor you with our lives, and we give you

3857
03:24:23,879 --> 03:24:30,959
Speaker 11: glory today for being God. We love you, We thank you.

3858
03:24:31,879 --> 03:24:34,119
Speaker 11: It's in the mighty name of Jesus. We do pray.

3859
03:24:35,000 --> 03:24:38,680
Speaker 11: All God's people say Amen, Amen, God, bless you.

3860
03:24:41,480 --> 03:24:46,560
Speaker 1: Ladarien thrust it suddenly into child protective services in twenty fifteen,

3861
03:24:47,200 --> 03:24:51,840
Speaker 1: my nephew, Black a boy the likelihood have been adopted

3862
03:24:51,879 --> 03:24:57,199
Speaker 1: outside of kinship slim to none Ourmione, sixteen years old,

3863
03:24:57,440 --> 03:25:00,800
Speaker 1: Black a boy with five years years in the Falter

3864
03:25:00,840 --> 03:25:04,440
Speaker 1: care system before I even knew his name. The likelihood

3865
03:25:04,480 --> 03:25:08,880
Speaker 1: of ever being adopted, Yep, you guessed it slim to none.

3866
03:25:10,400 --> 03:25:13,039
Speaker 1: While Laderian and our MONI were trying to survive and

3867
03:25:13,080 --> 03:25:16,760
Speaker 1: barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded false care system,

3868
03:25:16,800 --> 03:25:20,120
Speaker 1: I was living my own life, doing well professionally, having

3869
03:25:20,160 --> 03:25:22,120
Speaker 1: been a single father with a daughter who at that

3870
03:25:22,240 --> 03:25:24,879
Speaker 1: point was doing well in college. It was my time

3871
03:25:24,920 --> 03:25:31,599
Speaker 1: to live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.

3872
03:25:32,520 --> 03:25:35,880
Speaker 1: There are just too many of our Black children stuck

3873
03:25:36,160 --> 03:25:39,680
Speaker 1: in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falter care system.

3874
03:25:40,160 --> 03:25:44,160
Speaker 1: In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast

3875
03:25:44,200 --> 03:25:46,560
Speaker 1: forward to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to this

3876
03:25:46,640 --> 03:25:49,120
Speaker 1: other young king, but I felt God instructed me to

3877
03:25:49,160 --> 03:25:52,640
Speaker 1: adopt him also in il Babe, starting over with parenting

3878
03:25:52,720 --> 03:25:55,600
Speaker 1: should have been enough. Right, Working with various foster care

3879
03:25:55,600 --> 03:25:58,840
Speaker 1: and adoption agencies to help bring awareness to the countless

3880
03:25:58,959 --> 03:26:02,439
Speaker 1: young Black kings the Falster care system should have decreased

3881
03:26:02,480 --> 03:26:06,240
Speaker 1: my agitation right joining the board of directors of Advantage

3882
03:26:06,240 --> 03:26:09,920
Speaker 1: of Adoption and organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes

3883
03:26:10,040 --> 03:26:12,320
Speaker 1: for children in falseter care should have led to some

3884
03:26:12,400 --> 03:26:16,959
Speaker 1: type of resolve. Right, No, not at all. None of

3885
03:26:17,000 --> 03:26:20,920
Speaker 1: it felt like I had done enough. I now realized

3886
03:26:21,480 --> 03:26:25,120
Speaker 1: that every one of those experiences was land the fundamental

3887
03:26:25,160 --> 03:26:30,600
Speaker 1: foundation for my life's mission. Kingdom Royale. Kingdom Royal would

3888
03:26:30,600 --> 03:26:33,480
Speaker 1: be a luxury, state of the art home for foster boys.

3889
03:26:33,720 --> 03:26:37,040
Speaker 1: Our first location will be in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex.

3890
03:26:37,160 --> 03:26:40,760
Speaker 1: We will utilize the whole person approach that instills identity,

3891
03:26:41,080 --> 03:26:44,800
Speaker 1: empowers them to advocate for themselves, and enlightens them regarding

3892
03:26:44,840 --> 03:26:49,760
Speaker 1: new perspectives and limitless options that they thought were impossible.

3893
03:26:50,879 --> 03:26:53,200
Speaker 1: Though the young Kings will attend the local public schools

3894
03:26:53,240 --> 03:26:56,600
Speaker 1: that are in proximity to Kingdom Royal. Our at home

3895
03:26:56,640 --> 03:27:00,320
Speaker 1: curriculum will broaden their worldview through participating in the art arts,

3896
03:27:00,400 --> 03:27:05,200
Speaker 1: attending various cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted

3897
03:27:05,240 --> 03:27:09,960
Speaker 1: discussions about current events and even relevant historical contexts, Introducing

3898
03:27:10,000 --> 03:27:13,200
Speaker 1: them to gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our

3899
03:27:13,280 --> 03:27:17,280
Speaker 1: animals on our form and on site stables. We just

3900
03:27:17,360 --> 03:27:20,800
Speaker 1: launched our startup capital campaign with the goal of raising

3901
03:27:20,840 --> 03:27:22,880
Speaker 1: two point eight million dollars. Now why two point eight

3902
03:27:22,920 --> 03:27:26,280
Speaker 1: million dollars? Well, In twenty seventeen, I created a web

3903
03:27:26,320 --> 03:27:29,280
Speaker 1: series in which I performed random acts of kindness for

3904
03:27:29,400 --> 03:27:32,680
Speaker 1: targeting the homeless community. One of the most notable successes

3905
03:27:32,879 --> 03:27:35,960
Speaker 1: was that one of the videos went viral, garnering twenty

3906
03:27:36,120 --> 03:27:40,400
Speaker 1: eight million views. However, one of my biggest regrets is

3907
03:27:40,400 --> 03:27:42,680
Speaker 1: that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in

3908
03:27:42,800 --> 03:27:46,920
Speaker 1: implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community. So

3909
03:27:47,040 --> 03:27:51,039
Speaker 1: throughout the years, with much remorse, I reflect that I'm

3910
03:27:51,080 --> 03:27:54,160
Speaker 1: not maximizing that moment. I knew if at that time

3911
03:27:54,640 --> 03:27:57,600
Speaker 1: just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar, we

3912
03:27:57,680 --> 03:28:00,720
Speaker 1: would have raised at least two point five eight million

3913
03:28:00,760 --> 03:28:03,600
Speaker 1: dollars that could have really established long term support for

3914
03:28:03,680 --> 03:28:06,920
Speaker 1: the homeless community, or at least started a long term

3915
03:28:06,920 --> 03:28:11,520
Speaker 1: initiative to do so. This is my due over, this

3916
03:28:11,720 --> 03:28:15,200
Speaker 1: is our new beginning. Together, we can attack this at

3917
03:28:15,200 --> 03:28:19,400
Speaker 1: the route by specifically helping our homeless Black boys who

3918
03:28:19,520 --> 03:28:24,240
Speaker 1: are already disproportionately represented in the American fossil care system.

3919
03:28:24,560 --> 03:28:28,199
Speaker 1: I'm a Terisarwickfield. I've been nominated for three regional Emmys

3920
03:28:28,240 --> 03:28:30,840
Speaker 1: documenting my work with the homeless, as well as my

3921
03:28:30,959 --> 03:28:35,760
Speaker 1: personal adoption journey. Despite those accolades, the greatest award for

3922
03:28:35,840 --> 03:28:41,520
Speaker 1: me is truly providing the infrastructure for a transformed life.

3923
03:28:41,760 --> 03:28:45,120
Speaker 1: Visit Kingdom Royal dot com for more details, crown a

3924
03:28:45,200 --> 03:28:55,840
Speaker 1: king and make a donation today. I hope you enjoyed

3925
03:28:55,840 --> 03:28:59,280
Speaker 1: this episode of the Dear Future WIFEI podcast. Remember be lit,

3926
03:28:59,720 --> 03:29:04,560
Speaker 1: live intentionally and transparently, and don't stop loving. Make sure

3927
03:29:04,640 --> 03:29:07,119
Speaker 1: to subscribe to our Dear Future Wife and YouTube channel.

3928
03:29:07,280 --> 03:29:10,760
Speaker 1: We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher.

3929
03:29:11,040 --> 03:29:13,880
Speaker 1: We welcome your support. Simply share our podcast with your

3930
03:29:13,879 --> 03:29:14,640
Speaker 1: friends and family.