1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: I do think it's a little weird. You're scouring the obituaries. 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,880 Speaker 2: Not scouring the obituaries. A new study was done from 3 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 2: Legacy dot com and they were trying to come up 4 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 2: with the answer to what makes a life well lived? 5 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 2: And they reviewed thirty eight million obituaries to try to 6 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 2: find the answer. 7 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:22,959 Speaker 3: Oh, wowlifting job, Hey, you should meet our new higher 8 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:23,599 Speaker 3: eight herald. 9 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: What's Harold's job? He has to scour all the obituaries. 10 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 2: He's going to read thirty eight million obituaries and well, 11 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,000 Speaker 2: what he found is that you're list. 12 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: He's a guy, right. 13 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 2: What he found is that pretty much your entire life, 14 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:44,760 Speaker 2: which is on average about four thousand weeks, gets compressed 15 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 2: down into roughly one hundred and seventy five words. 16 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: That is interesting, isn't it. H Yeah, that is Yeah, 17 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 1: you're right. 18 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 2: The top words that were used how many weeks they say, 19 00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 2: it's four thousand weeks. 20 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 3: Four thousand weeks and all of that time comes down 21 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,319 Speaker 3: to one hundred and seventy five words. 22 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's pretty amazing. 23 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,960 Speaker 2: The words that were mentioned the most in eighty percent 24 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:14,959 Speaker 2: of obituaries were faithful and praying, yeah, and benevolence and 25 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 2: caring for others was mentioned seventy six percent of the time, 26 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,199 Speaker 2: and some of the other values that were a little 27 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,320 Speaker 2: less emphasized but still mentioned in a lot of the 28 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 2: different obituaries were self direction and power. 29 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 3: You know, we talked about this at one point. This 30 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 3: has been a while ago, but we talked about how 31 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 3: once your two generations removed from living, very few people 32 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,959 Speaker 3: remember or talk about you, because it's any fault of 33 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 3: your own. But it's just like most people know their 34 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 3: parents and their grandparents, and then some are lucky and 35 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 3: know their great grandparents. But after those people are gone, right, 36 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 3: are the memories fad or whatever? Then you just become 37 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 3: like a picture on somebody's wall because of just the 38 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 3: way the time works. Now, there are some you know, 39 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 3: of our greatest Americans, the George Washington's or Abraham Lincolns, 40 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 3: who get statues and are remembered in you know, infamy 41 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 3: for uh or or others that are remembered in infamy. 42 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 3: I should have said, like, well, my profile picture Benedict Arnold. 43 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,640 Speaker 3: But for the most part, people are really a two 44 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 3: are remembered no matter what you do on this earth 45 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 3: for two or three generations, and then you you disappear, 46 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 3: and I remember this, and I like, it's so weird, 47 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 3: and you obviously having an adult child now, but like 48 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 3: when I was a kid, my grandmother had this really 49 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 3: cool palm up in my room in her at her house, 50 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,520 Speaker 3: and the crux of the poem was talking about at 51 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 3: the end of your life, the only thing that will 52 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,079 Speaker 3: really matter, one of the few things that will matter, 53 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,520 Speaker 3: is that you made a difference a life of a child, right, 54 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 3: because then that child becomes an adult and they remember you. 55 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 3: And it's like, I think of the impact and how 56 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 3: my grandparents lived up to that they've been dead ten years. 57 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 3: I so fondly remember just everything about them and what 58 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 3: they did for me and what amazing people they were. 59 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 3: And so by that stadred my grandparents wore a resounding 60 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 3: success because that's. 61 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:20,639 Speaker 1: What they desired to do. 62 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,679 Speaker 3: And I was thinking about this. Yesterday we put the 63 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:26,080 Speaker 3: Christmas tree up. Yeah, and I said, okay, I'm gonna 64 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 3: do it. 65 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: My dad came over. 66 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 3: We did it while while Livia was at daycare, and 67 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,959 Speaker 3: I said, Okay, when she gets home, I'm going to 68 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 3: have it up and have the lights on and have 69 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 3: the ornaments up. And she comes in the house she's 70 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 3: two and a half. She comes in the house and 71 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 3: she walks in the room and sees the tree and 72 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 3: she just stares at it in amazement and gets the 73 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 3: biggest smile on her face. 74 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 1: And the whole night she was spent in that. 75 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 3: Room tweet tweete you know it just and at one 76 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 3: point she just looks at me. She goes me like yeah, 77 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 3: and it's like you look at this going this is 78 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 3: life right, and you don't You don't understand that until 79 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 3: you experience, and people can tell you about it. 80 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: People tell you how amazing having kids is. 81 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 3: People can tell you what a great joy it is 82 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 3: about how if you don't have kids, you know, and 83 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 3: some people tragically can't have kids, and that's no fault 84 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 3: of their own. But it just like that is life right, 85 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 3: Like all this other stuff we do. It's important, it's 86 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 3: a big deal. But what really matters in your life 87 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:23,280 Speaker 3: is how you affect those who come after you who 88 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 3: are dependent upon you, because their better life will be 89 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 3: the lasting legacy. And then how they remember you to 90 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 3: others is the way that you live on and that 91 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,480 Speaker 3: judges how you were on this earth. 92 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 2: When I had my daughter, when I growing up, I 93 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,839 Speaker 2: always tell my mom, I love you, thank you for everything. 94 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 2: You know, You're wonderful. But it wasn't until I had 95 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 2: my own child, and I can remember she was only 96 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 2: three or four days old and I was writing thank 97 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,720 Speaker 2: you notes to the baby gifts that we had received, 98 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,799 Speaker 2: and I wrote one to my mom and I said, 99 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 2: thank you. I never knew. Yeah, like you don't realize 100 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 2: it until you're in that position. 101 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, and so, but that is interesting that you brought 102 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 3: that article up, because it's something that I'm working through 103 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,839 Speaker 3: and like talking to Many times. I keep this daily 104 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,719 Speaker 3: journal for my daughter, and sometimes it's hey, there are 105 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 3: all sorts of important things that happen. Some days it's 106 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,280 Speaker 3: just a quick ABC and sometimes if there's nothing big, 107 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 3: I will talk about like little life lessons or things 108 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 3: that is happening in the moment in our family, or 109 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 3: things that are happening around our family or in the world, 110 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 3: and say, here's what I hope you learn from this 111 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 3: years from now when you read these journal entries and 112 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 3: what you really realize. I mean, it's always in front 113 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:37,920 Speaker 3: of you, right that your time is finite. It's not infinite, right, 114 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:41,360 Speaker 3: but as you get you inter middle age and then 115 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 3: you have children, you really realize, like, two things you're 116 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,159 Speaker 3: going to be kind of remembered for on this earth 117 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:53,560 Speaker 3: are how you treated those you were responsible for, and 118 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:57,600 Speaker 3: that could be not just your children, but as your parents' 119 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 3: age or you know, grandparents' age or whatever. How you 120 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 3: treated those people who were dependent upon you and the 121 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 3: life you were able to give them that they couldn't 122 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:11,919 Speaker 3: give themselves. And the works that you do on this 123 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 3: earth side of your commitment to the Lord, but the 124 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 3: physical works that you do on this earth, and how 125 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 3: that helped people who couldn't necessarily help or speak for themselves. 126 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 2: So, among the thirty eight million obituaries that they reviewed, 127 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:30,480 Speaker 2: there were some differences in gender. Men were remembered for achievement, power, 128 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 2: and conformity, and their values shifted with age. Women were 129 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 2: remembered for caring and pleasure, and their values stayed the 130 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 2: same over their lifetime. Some other themes that popped up 131 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:49,159 Speaker 2: a lot were education, military service, family connections. Men's obituaries 132 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:53,479 Speaker 2: were slightly longer than women's, and older people got a 133 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,719 Speaker 2: more detailed ride up than younger people.