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Speaker 1: I was in the hospital.

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Speaker 2: I asked, God, don't give me what I want there

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Speaker 2: it is, give me what I need, because everything I

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Speaker 2: wanted could not take care of me like this man

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Speaker 2: has taken care of me.

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Speaker 3: That's so good to take vowels from sickness and in health,

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Speaker 3: y'all were challenged with those vows on both sides.

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Speaker 4: When was your first challenge?

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Speaker 2: Twenty twelve. I started having some health issues. One day,

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Speaker 2: I was on a treadmill and I started feeling fluttering

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Speaker 2: in my chest that I never felt before.

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Speaker 1: I went to a cardiologist.

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Speaker 2: They diagnosed me with exercise induceterythmia. In two thy seventeen,

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Speaker 2: we're going to make a donation, I opened the truck.

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Speaker 1: Door and I just fall out. I had a tia

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Speaker 1: that day.

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Speaker 2: Like a mini stroke, And this was my first major misdiagnosis.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't giving any medication.

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Speaker 2: It was basically told that, Hey, these are the justuments

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Speaker 2: that you need to make in your life.

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Speaker 1: I was working for the IRS at the time.

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Speaker 2: Anytime anybody here you work for the IRS, they automatically

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Speaker 2: assumed that you stress. No, I don't owe taxes. I

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Speaker 2: uphold the loss about I think eight or nine months later,

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Speaker 2: the er doctor comes in. He said, well, when I

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Speaker 2: tell you this, I want you to calm down. He said,

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Speaker 2: you're you're having a heart attack. And it was probably

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Speaker 2: one of the scariest moments in my life because my

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Speaker 2: daughter was right there.

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Speaker 4: Then the last incident was what that was the stroke.

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Speaker 2: Immediately I went into I went into rehabilitation and patient

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Speaker 2: rehabilitation and was in that for the next almost two years.

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Speaker 4: You found out that you have prostate cancer.

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Speaker 5: How or one of my good friends called me and

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Speaker 5: said he had just had prostate surgery and he didn't

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Speaker 5: tell anybody.

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Speaker 4: He kept it to himself.

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Speaker 5: And I wasn't having any of those symptoms, but just

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Speaker 5: the fact that it was that close, and so I

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Speaker 5: called and I got everything moved up. They tested it,

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Speaker 5: sent me the results and they said, yeah, we found

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Speaker 5: a little corner pocket over here that it's cancerous.

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Speaker 2: Statistics say that in most cases when a woman is

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Speaker 2: terminally ill, the husband leaves. And there was never a

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Speaker 2: time that I thought that he would leave me. To

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Speaker 2: have someone that I felt loves me like Christ loves

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Speaker 2: the Church.

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Speaker 1: It is and there's nothing we can't go through.

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Speaker 5: The Dear Future Wifey podcast has global impact from Texas.

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Speaker 2: I have been on this journey of healing and self discovery,

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Speaker 2: and this podcast has been a vital part of my process.

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Speaker 2: God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,

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Speaker 2: founding authentic spirituality.

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Speaker 4: California.

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Speaker 2: I learned so much as a single man through your

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Speaker 2: podcast and continue to learn so much as now.

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Speaker 1: A married man Nigeria. This is just therapy for me.

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Speaker 2: You know, I've been healed, I've been strengthen in my

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Speaker 2: convictions on the Stuta to do single Hoop better Amsterdam

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Speaker 2: way that you've shown us how it is possible for

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Speaker 2: a man to be as intentional as you are New Jersey.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate your vulnerability.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate just being able to see that there is

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Speaker 2: life after divorce. To York, I am a single woman,

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Speaker 2: so these episodes really give me hope and courage that

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Speaker 2: God does have a husband for me.

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Speaker 4: Discover, uncover and recover love.

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Speaker 5: I'm La Terra sar Whitfield and this is season ten

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Speaker 5: of the Dear Future Wifie Podcasts.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to a Dear Future Wifeie podcast. I'm your host,

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Speaker 3: Latera Sar Whitfield. Listen, are you still shacking up with us?

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Speaker 3: If you're still shacking up with us, can we get

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Speaker 3: a commitment? Hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure

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Speaker 3: you're turning your notification bell so you'll be notified about

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Speaker 3: upcoming episodes. Hey listen, I've been getting a lot of

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Speaker 3: dms from y'all asking when the book is coming out.

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Speaker 3: The book will be coming out January thirteenth. Shout out

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Speaker 3: to HarperCollins and w Publishing for finding value and the

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Speaker 3: words that I speak on the Dear Future Wifeie podcast

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Speaker 3: where they wanted to put it in the book, and

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Speaker 3: so I thank god for that. Shout out to doctor

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Speaker 3: Gary Chapman for doing the four to the book. Y'all

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Speaker 3: know him as the writer of the Five Love Languages,

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Speaker 3: and so brought great honor that after reading the book

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Speaker 3: he said, I definitely want to put my name on it.

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Speaker 3: So thank you so much, doctor Gary Chapman for that.

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Speaker 3: Take a moment and watch this promo video about Student

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Speaker 3: of Love. I was married, cheated, flunk out of marriage.

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Speaker 3: These eyes have seen the pain of failure but also

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Speaker 3: the possibility of redemption. These fears have heard the lies

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Speaker 3: you'll never change, but they've also caught the whisper of truth.

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Speaker 3: But tris you can learn love on the level you

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Speaker 3: never known. This finger once carried a val I wasn't

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Speaker 3: ready to honor. Today is empty, but it's unashamed. It's

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Speaker 3: waiting on a covenant I'll protect with wisdom. I'm no expert.

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Speaker 3: I'm just a fellow student. I've sat in Love's classroom,

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Speaker 3: even spent time and detention, but now with intention. That's

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Speaker 3: why I wrote Student of Love, because learning love never ends.

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Speaker 3: Sit next to me and cheat off of my paper,

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Speaker 3: Cheat tony, show use a better word.

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Speaker 4: Let's just cut to the chase.

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Speaker 3: Pre order this book and start the journey and becoming

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Speaker 3: a true student of love class.

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Speaker 5: It's now in session.

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Speaker 3: Link is in the description. Make sure you hit that

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Speaker 3: link right now. Go ahead and pre order your book.

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Speaker 3: I'm telling you your life will be changed. It will

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Speaker 3: be changed. The book was written to show us not

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Speaker 3: just about romantic relationships, but all relationships on how to

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Speaker 3: love each other more effectively. Well, this king and queen

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Speaker 3: saw them on social media. They've been taking social media

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Speaker 3: by storm. I love that they're able to play together,

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Speaker 3: laugh together, and just enjoy life together. And when I

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Speaker 3: look at this couple, I say, they embody what I

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Speaker 3: believe the Dear Future Wifie podcast is all about having healthy,

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Speaker 3: thriving marriages.

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Speaker 4: Don't make marriage so boring, have fun. Laugh.

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Speaker 3: The Bible says laughter, do it the heart good as

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Speaker 3: Madison and so they've gone through a lot in their marriage,

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Speaker 3: and I thank them for come on Dear Future Wife

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Speaker 3: podcast so.

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Speaker 4: We can have hope.

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Speaker 3: And those that are single that you understand the gravity

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Speaker 3: of those vowels you take. So, without further ado, welcome

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Speaker 3: to a Dear Future Wife Podcast.

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Speaker 4: Roy Williams Junior Williams. How you doing.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing excellent. I was glad to be here. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for inviting us.

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Speaker 4: So, Shan Collette or Shanta Que.

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Speaker 1: Whatever you want to call me, whatever makes you feel

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Speaker 1: comfortable in the.

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Speaker 5: Morning to collect, just sound so official, you sound so whatever.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna call you.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I didn't say that.

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Speaker 5: You gave me to You.

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Speaker 3: Gave Shanta quo. I can't call you okay, Shanta Que.

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Speaker 1: Gave me two options.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, my bad, gave you three shot to Q. So

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Speaker 3: let me to you something. Let's just jump right in.

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Speaker 3: Let me ask you how you doing.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing well. I'm doing well today. You know I'm

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Speaker 1: i wasn't doing so well. I was doing great yesterday,

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Speaker 1: but today I'm doing I'm doing well.

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Speaker 5: What about you, Roy, I'm doing excellent another day above ground,

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Speaker 5: I'm good six feet above six feet that's the gold

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Speaker 5: Landon How long have y'all been married?

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Speaker 1: Twenty years?

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Speaker 4: Twenty years?

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Speaker 1: Twenty years?

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Speaker 4: And y'all dated for how long before y'all got married?

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Speaker 1: About four?

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Speaker 5: Four? So, Roy, let me ask you this. We're about

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Speaker 5: saying we dated.

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Speaker 1: I was going to say we dated, we shocked, we

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Speaker 1: did a little bit of.

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Speaker 4: Oh y'all did it all? Yep?

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Speaker 5: So how long did y'all live together before y'all got married?

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Speaker 1: Four? Three years? Three years?

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Speaker 4: Three years?

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Speaker 5: All right? So, Roy, I'm gonna ask you what made

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Speaker 5: you decide to where I'm assuming you proposed to her

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Speaker 5: and not her proposing to you right right, because Shanta

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Speaker 5: Q seemed like she may be aggressive.

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Speaker 2: I will drink sand from a desert to this empty

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Speaker 2: before I get on one knee clean me.

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Speaker 1: I would drink the ocean dry.

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Speaker 5: With a baby bottle, Roy, what made you propose to

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Speaker 5: shot the Q? I just knew so when I first

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Speaker 5: met Shanta it was kind of a almost like a

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Speaker 5: divine intervention kind of a situation. We were both in

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Speaker 5: Texas in Arlington. I was new to Texas. I was

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Speaker 5: just leaving the military, just moved from Virginia. My sisters

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Speaker 5: had moved to Fort Worth and so I'd been here

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Speaker 5: six seven months, maybe.

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Speaker 4: Not very long.

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Speaker 5: And it happened to be in a bar and ran

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Speaker 5: into Shanta and her friend and so just me out,

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Speaker 5: you know, single guy, Hey, you.

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Speaker 4: Know are you said?

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Speaker 1: That is not what he said?

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Speaker 4: He was at her friend.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, So, uh, we're gonna tell you tell it. You know,

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Speaker 5: I want to talk to your friend, you know what,

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Speaker 5: you know, something like that. Yeah, it was saying, and

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Speaker 5: so we we you know, we started conversation and there

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Speaker 5: and it just so happens.

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Speaker 4: We started talking.

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Speaker 5: About uh asked, I asked her where she was from, yeah,

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Speaker 5: and she shut him from Denver, Colorado. And I was

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Speaker 5: like really, I was like, I grew up in Denver.

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Speaker 5: I went to elementary junior high school.

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Speaker 1: Really, and I was like.

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Speaker 4: Okay, here we go.

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Speaker 5: And so then, you know, we started and so we

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Speaker 5: started talking about, you know, familiar places in the city.

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Speaker 5: We went to the same high school, just at a

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Speaker 5: different time.

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Speaker 4: I'm a couple of.

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Speaker 5: Years old day.

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Speaker 1: He ran it down, like.

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Speaker 4: We lived in the same neighborhood. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, First he was running it down and he was

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Speaker 2: just saying, like, he said, I was from Denver. I

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Speaker 2: said I was from Denver. Yeah, I said I was

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Speaker 2: from Denver, Colorado. And he was like, oh, I'm from

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Speaker 2: Denver too, And then that's kind of I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: here we go. And then he said, he said, where

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Speaker 2: in Denver did you live? And I said I lived

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Speaker 2: in Montbello and he said I lived in my Belo too,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, yeah, he's like, I lived in

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Speaker 2: Mabelo too.

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Speaker 3: So so in Denver is that a very uncommon place

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Speaker 3: where you find a lot of people.

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Speaker 2: That well, the area that we have people like that,

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Speaker 2: the area that we are is like a like a

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Speaker 2: military kind of like a military base, and it is

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Speaker 2: probably the most populated with African Americans.

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Speaker 5: Right, you would say, yeah, Mambelo was kind of the

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Speaker 5: the middle class neighborhood for black people in Denver.

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Speaker 4: So when you said that, you thought, well.

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Speaker 2: First I still thought it was like okay, like that,

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Speaker 2: he's just he's been there and he probably knows somebody there,

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Speaker 2: he has relatives there.

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Speaker 1: And so he said, uh, where did you live?

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Speaker 2: And I said, I lived on forty forty fourth in

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Speaker 2: Duluth and he said, I think you said you lived

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Speaker 2: on fifty third inn Exana.

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Speaker 1: Do And so I was like, okay, well that's that's

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Speaker 1: real specific.

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Speaker 2: And so he so then we then I still was like,

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Speaker 2: oh no, you probably still and your auntie. You probably

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Speaker 2: came there for the summer. And then he said, uh,

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Speaker 2: what did what did you go to.

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Speaker 1: My Bello High School?

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Speaker 2: And I was like yeah, and he was like, I

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Speaker 2: bet you I can tell you. Oh no, he said

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Speaker 2: what what sport did you play?

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Speaker 1: Sports?

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Speaker 2: I said yeah, he said what sport? I said, I

240
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Speaker 2: ran track? And he said, I bet you I can

241
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Speaker 2: tell you what your coach's name was.

242
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Speaker 1: And I was like what. He was like Donald Gatewood

243
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Speaker 1: and I was like.

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Speaker 2: Okay, love, and the heavens overed up and.

245
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Speaker 1: The flowers started blooming and birds. Yeah.

246
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Speaker 5: So yeah, and so that was the beginning of our relationships.

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Speaker 1: We exchanged information and.

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Speaker 5: Uh and then our our really our real first date,

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Speaker 5: which so our real first date now granted that was

250
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Speaker 5: already divine intervention, just the meeting. So we did a

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Speaker 5: few you know, you go to eat, but the really

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Speaker 5: hurt soul. I invited her to go to Louisiana with me, really,

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Speaker 5: to my cousin's funeral. Dang right, So but there's no

254
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Speaker 5: you know, just think about it. You're gonna get everybody

255
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Speaker 5: every year, toude, every personality people.

256
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Speaker 2: And I was thinking, like, why would he want to

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Speaker 2: bring me to a funeral? My mom was like, Babe,

258
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Speaker 2: that's where all his families trying to show you off.

259
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Speaker 5: So you get a taste of you know what I mean,

260
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Speaker 5: she gonna get all the personalities.

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Speaker 4: They're gonna get all the personality out of her.

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Speaker 5: So why did you do that? Though? Because it was

263
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Speaker 5: my I think my grandma and somebody then told me,

264
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Speaker 5: you know, if you find a woman you want to

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Speaker 5: be with, take them to a family event or I

266
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Speaker 5: get together where you're crazy folks and your normal folks

267
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Speaker 5: are all going to be and let each one crazy. You know,

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Speaker 5: you really get to see the true person in a situation.

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Speaker 5: Oh were you during that time?

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Speaker 4: Uh? Twenty seven, twenty eighth.

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Speaker 3: He said to the out of town you said you

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Speaker 3: were twenty two twenty seven.

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Speaker 4: That got five year age different, So we got a

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Speaker 4: seven year age okay.

275
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Speaker 5: Yeah, so that was kind of our first coming out party.

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Speaker 4: Right there was my cousin and.

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Speaker 2: It was was we've been there was about three months

278
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Speaker 2: already we had been it.

279
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Speaker 5: Was like three four months all exclusive at that.

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Speaker 1: Point, pretty much pretty much. I hadn't made my decasion yet.

281
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Speaker 1: But no, no, no, we were still had nobody.

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Speaker 4: We were real pretty much, he said, pretty much.

283
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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 4: It was like, you know, I was picking up from

285
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Speaker 4: work and taking up.

286
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Speaker 2: He was always I can say, he really courted me together.

287
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Speaker 5: Yeah. I used to bring ice cream.

288
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Speaker 1: Ice cream. Everything.

289
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Speaker 2: He'd buy me ice cream, picked me up from work.

290
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,240
Speaker 2: He would come all the way across town and drop

291
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Speaker 2: me food off for work and then go back to

292
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Speaker 2: his job. And so for me, I had just gotten

293
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Speaker 2: out of before I met him, I had been in

294
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Speaker 2: a pretty I won't say tumultuous, but I had been

295
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:31,160
Speaker 2: in a relationship that wasn't that didn't end in will

296
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Speaker 2: and so I wasn't really at that time looking to

297
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Speaker 2: be in a relationship. I was kind of scared and

298
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Speaker 2: so so.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and so in that situation, and so life

300
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,640
Speaker 3: was just so much more difficult back then, Like you said,

301
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Speaker 3: drivewall across town. Now, dudes, just send you some Uber

302
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000
Speaker 3: eats and be done with it. But I loved the

303
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,320
Speaker 3: intention that. Look, she's like, you have to bring me

304
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Speaker 3: some food.

305
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Speaker 1: And my daddy said, a man courts you.

306
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Speaker 5: I want you.

307
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Speaker 1: If a man won't you, he gonna show you he

308
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Speaker 1: wants you.

309
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Speaker 5: So you can't court you with technology, he won't.

310
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Speaker 1: Come and bring me.

311
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Speaker 2: He gonna come and bring me.

312
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:08,280
Speaker 1: Like he could order the.

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Speaker 4: Pizza different times, different times.

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Speaker 1: In two thousand, he could order me a pizza Enginey,

315
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Speaker 1: there's d M s and stuff now different time. Yeah,

316
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Speaker 1: we didn't have no Instagram.

317
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Speaker 3: At a different time. You came, you came over. Well,

318
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,920
Speaker 3: who taught you how to court? Did anybody teach you that?

319
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Speaker 3: Or is it just instinctive?

320
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Speaker 5: It was kind of instinctive, I guess you could say.

321
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Speaker 5: But I you know, in Denver. So in Denver, I

322
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Speaker 5: lived with my aunt my uncle, right, and so my

323
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Speaker 5: uncle was an old school Air Force guy, right, like

324
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Speaker 5: old school militant.

325
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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 4: And he was a traditional family values.

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Speaker 5: Kind of a guy. And so when I when I

328
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Speaker 5: when I say traditional, he was the kind of man.

329
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Speaker 5: And to where you know, they went to work when

330
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Speaker 5: I came home from school. Make sure no dishes into scene,

331
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Speaker 5: make sure the laundry started vacuum, get the trash together,

332
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Speaker 5: and every night we sat at the table and had

333
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Speaker 5: dinner every night. We ain't missing no nights. And make

334
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,160
Speaker 5: sure you got some kool aid made, because he liked

335
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,600
Speaker 5: to drink you know, tropical punch of kool aid. And

336
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,080
Speaker 5: we all set me and him amount because at that time,

337
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,040
Speaker 5: my first cousins they were all grown, so they were

338
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,880
Speaker 5: out the house. And so when I moved in at

339
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:35,040
Speaker 5: eleven years old, I was their new kid. So it's

340
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,640
Speaker 5: just me, you know, it's just us three most of

341
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:42,440
Speaker 5: the time. And so he was a real traditional man,

342
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,000
Speaker 5: and so I got to see that all the time

343
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Speaker 5: of how he treated my aunt.

344
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:48,800
Speaker 4: What they did.

345
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,080
Speaker 5: You know, they discussed it. You know, there wasn't a

346
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,400
Speaker 5: lot of secrets in the house. They would sit down

347
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:56,479
Speaker 5: and I could hear him discussing whether it was finances,

348
00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:00,280
Speaker 5: the future bills, what have you, you.

349
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,640
Speaker 4: Know, vacations, church out and whatever it was.

350
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:08,720
Speaker 5: And so just from you know, seeing that, it was like, okay, well,

351
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,960
Speaker 5: you know, you gotta you gotta communicate, you gotta talk.

352
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:15,320
Speaker 5: You got to That was really the biggest thing I

353
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,719
Speaker 5: learned from the relationship with communication, their communication and if

354
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,680
Speaker 5: you can do that everything else falls in place.

355
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,600
Speaker 4: That's good, you know what I'm saying. That's good.

356
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,560
Speaker 5: So that's really where that foundation came from. Just you know,

357
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,680
Speaker 5: you talk enough, and you know it's a good and

358
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,159
Speaker 5: a bad thing. Some dudes talk to you and they

359
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,320
Speaker 5: keep talking and it don't end up well, and so

360
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,399
Speaker 5: you know, and it ends up you know, fortunately for us,

361
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:40,040
Speaker 5: that's it's been twenty five twenty six years.

362
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,760
Speaker 3: So when you saw her, what did you think? I know,

363
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,159
Speaker 3: you know, you may looked at it and say, oh,

364
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,800
Speaker 3: she's attractive. I just wanted to get to know her.

365
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,479
Speaker 2: But did you were you looking at the club night

366
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,680
Speaker 2: you said, well, I was the baddest thing in the club.

367
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, she was the badst thing in the club. Because

368
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,119
Speaker 5: whenever I went to the club, I went for the

369
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:56,560
Speaker 5: badt thing.

370
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:02,480
Speaker 4: She's not lying. I go there for the third runner up.

371
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,479
Speaker 4: I want number one. Yeah, I wanted number one.

372
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,119
Speaker 5: But the thing about it is is, uh, you know,

373
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:16,000
Speaker 5: sometimes you going places and you see someone and they're

374
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,960
Speaker 5: just different and you just it was like she was

375
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,879
Speaker 5: just different. You know, she was tall, slender, had this

376
00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:28,119
Speaker 5: really long pretty hair. She's got like this amazing hair, right,

377
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,960
Speaker 5: and it was just long and and she was, you

378
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:37,720
Speaker 5: know tall, you know what model you know, you know,

379
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:41,200
Speaker 5: model looking, And I was like, man, I know she's

380
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,520
Speaker 5: not from here. You know, I know everybody from here.

381
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:51,480
Speaker 5: So so.

382
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 4: Just that alone, and that was I think, me and

383
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,080
Speaker 4: my me and my buddy j Man. We were just

384
00:18:59,280 --> 00:18:59,919
Speaker 4: coming into the.

385
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:03,560
Speaker 5: Bar, and so it was a happy hour. I was,

386
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,840
Speaker 5: I wasn't there ten minutes before.

387
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:08,760
Speaker 4: You know, I got her.

388
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 5: It was.

389
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 1: Jamie James, Jamie's rhythm.

390
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,040
Speaker 4: Jamie the original James shot.

391
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,119
Speaker 1: On a Thursdays, Thursday.

392
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 4: It was like in the afternoon stuff in the afternoon,

393
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,359
Speaker 4: the jazz thing of that.

394
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:31,480
Speaker 5: And so but when you saw her, what did you think?

395
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 5: Were you thinking like what I got?

396
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:34,280
Speaker 4: I got that?

397
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,680
Speaker 3: No, But were you having her like I just want

398
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,920
Speaker 3: to smash Are you saying the person I want to

399
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 3: marry this person?

400
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 4: I just want to see what's up?

401
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 3: Like what state of mind were you in at the twenties,

402
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,000
Speaker 3: I mean twenty seven years old?

403
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 4: Were you marriage minded?

404
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 5: I wasn't marriage minded, okay, but I wasn't I want

405
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 5: to smash minded either.

406
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 4: That was not difficult for me at that time.

407
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 5: I was he said, I've been around the world, so

408
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,080
Speaker 5: I was different, Like I said as a military man.

409
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:06,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, that wasn't That wasn't the thing for me.

410
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 5: It was it was getting to the point at twenty

411
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 5: seven where I was actually I was trying to slow down.

412
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:17,119
Speaker 5: I was trying to get settled. I was looking for

413
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,920
Speaker 5: a good woman, you know what I mean. I wasn't

414
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 5: looking for the club chick. I wasn't looking for you know,

415
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,800
Speaker 5: one night stand. I wasn't looking for any of that.

416
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:31,000
Speaker 5: I was looking for somebody that I could be with

417
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,680
Speaker 5: for forty years.

418
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,119
Speaker 4: Right, So.

419
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 5: Hindsight being twenty twenty, I accomplished what I needed to accomplish,

420
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:41,639
Speaker 5: absolutely right.

421
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, So shout to Q during that time, what you

422
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 3: just came out of a tumultuous relationship. I know you

423
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,680
Speaker 3: don't want to use that word, but it just wasn't healthy.

424
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 1: It was I wouldn't even say it wasn't healthy.

425
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:55,680
Speaker 5: It was just he was.

426
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 2: He was somebody I knew in high school, and we

427
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:05,200
Speaker 2: weren't we were shocking. We were both having outside relationships

428
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,680
Speaker 2: within the relationship, and it just was not a situation

429
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 2: that I because I had a daughter at the time,

430
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 2: and it was not a relationship that I wanted to.

431
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,040
Speaker 1: Progress.

432
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 2: I didn't want to have it wasn't stable, and my

433
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 2: and my father being how I was raised, the reason

434
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 2: why I came to Texas is my dad was like,

435
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 2: you know, I didn't raise you to shack up. I

436
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 2: didn't raise you that way. I don't like it, and

437
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 2: I need you to come to Texas. And that's what

438
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 2: I did.

439
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 1: But then in between that, I had dated a few guys,

440
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:37,919
Speaker 1: and then.

441
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,159
Speaker 2: I had been I think about four months before I

442
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,000
Speaker 2: met him, I was a victim of a violent crime,

443
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 2: and so everything was just, you know, because I was

444
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 2: going out and hanging out and just was in the

445
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 2: wrong place at the wrong time. And so my focus

446
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:58,359
Speaker 2: was really traditionally trying to get myself better, in a

447
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 2: better place, getting myself help. But I will tell you

448
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:06,240
Speaker 2: when I was in the hospital, I told I told

449
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,200
Speaker 2: the Lord, I said, Lord, don't ever give me what

450
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:13,200
Speaker 2: I want again, give me what I need, Give me

451
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:16,360
Speaker 2: exactly what I need. And he gave me a little

452
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 2: bit of Peter, he gave me a little bit of David,

453
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 2: he gave a little bow Ad, he gave a little Moses,

454
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 2: Keith Solomon, everybody gave me everything that I needed.

455
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 4: In that mindset where you looking for marriage, no.

456
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 1: I was I wasn't. I wasn't thinking.

457
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 2: I wasn't really marriage minded, like he said. At the time,

458
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 2: I was just really focused on me and my daughter,

459
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,440
Speaker 2: focused on me and my daughter, and so I hadn't

460
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,639
Speaker 2: been out. That was the first time that I had

461
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 2: been out when you ran. When I ran to him,

462
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 2: it was the first time that I had been out

463
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,679
Speaker 2: in a while. It was a day before my birthday,

464
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 2: October third. Uh, it was it was just like I

465
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 2: was just going out to have fun. I wasn't going

466
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,959
Speaker 2: out to meet anybody. And I remember when I met him.

467
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 2: I came back and told my you know, my mom

468
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 2: and my dad that I met this guy. And he's, oh, yeah,

469
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 2: that he's from Denver, because Denver is small, Denver is

470
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 2: very small.

471
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so and my dad is my dad is

472
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,160
Speaker 1: someone he's very inquisitive.

473
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,120
Speaker 2: So my dad's like, well, where he's room, we're about, Yeah,

474
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 2: we're about And my dad used to do stuff on

475
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,360
Speaker 2: the radio and things like that. So, uh, my dad

476
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 2: was just really inquisitive. And so I think it was

477
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 2: maybe like a maybe, like a week maybe, like I

478
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 2: think we talked on the phone a few times, and

479
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 2: then I think the next week he invited we went

480
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,399
Speaker 2: out to the same place where we met, uh, and

481
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 2: it was like I think maybe about five or six

482
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 2: people in there at that time, and then we just

483
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 2: sat and talked and danced and then it just it

484
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 2: just progressed, it progressed.

485
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 1: He hadn't met my daughter.

486
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 2: He hadn't met my daughter at the time, because that

487
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 2: was really like I was I protected that I protected

488
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 2: my child. I didn't want to bring her around anybody

489
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 2: that I wasn't going to be serious, but I didn't

490
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 2: know if I wanted to be serious. But he was,

491
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 2: you know, like I said, he really courted me, like

492
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 2: he took me out. He took me out to eat.

493
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 2: I remember he took me. We went, we went shopping

494
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,919
Speaker 2: a few times, and he was just fun to be around.

495
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,719
Speaker 2: He's just fun to be around. And I've never met

496
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 2: anybody who was just as silly as me. That was

497
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,160
Speaker 2: silly to me, and he just he made me laugh

498
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 2: all the time. And then I believe my mom because

499
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 2: my mom was seeing how serious he was being and

500
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,120
Speaker 2: so and my mom could kind of see my kind

501
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,360
Speaker 2: of hesitancy and how I was kind of being reluctant,

502
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 2: and my mom was like that, man, won't you that

503
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,440
Speaker 2: man wants to be with you.

504
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 1: And I remember he came. He need his hair braided.

505
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 2: At this time, he had a little fro and he

506
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 2: was like you know anybody, Yeah, a little stitches, but.

507
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 4: Gotta have bad.

508
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 2: But he was like, do you know somebody who can

509
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 2: break my hair? And I was like, oh, my mama

510
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,639
Speaker 2: can braid. My mama can breik really well. And he

511
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 2: was kind of like your mama, like your mama, and uh.

512
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 1: He came over.

513
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 2: He came over and uh, this was the first time, Yeah,

514
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 2: thet time he met her, first time he met my parents.

515
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 2: And it was old school braid because he said between

516
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 2: her he sat between her legs and.

517
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 1: He was and she was just talking, he said between

518
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 1: her eggs.

519
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 2: And she braided his hair, and uh like that and

520
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 2: uh and after she after he left, my mom.

521
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 1: Just talked about how good of a guy.

522
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 2: He was, like he just seems like a really a

523
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 2: really a really nice guy and are you interested in him?

524
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,399
Speaker 1: And and then I think my mama was tired of

525
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 1: me staying there too.

526
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 2: I don't know, but just kidding, but I would say

527
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 2: because I moved for but no, she but no, she

528
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 2: was just really just emphasizing that that's a good man.

529
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 2: That is a good man. And she was telling me,

530
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 2: a man is not going to do this, He's not

531
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 2: going to do that. A man is not going to

532
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 2: go the extra effort to do the things that he's doing.

533
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,399
Speaker 2: Now he's coming, he met your parents, he's met your dad,

534
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:05,439
Speaker 2: he's he's making himself visible absolutely to you. And so uh,

535
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,360
Speaker 2: but I still, you know, I liked him.

536
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: I liked him. I liked him and uh.

537
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 2: And then I remember when I think we went out.

538
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 2: I went to New Orleans and he was he was

539
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:20,399
Speaker 2: in Oklahoma and he he called me. He called me

540
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 2: and he's like, what are you doing. I was down

541
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 2: having fun and he was having fun. And at the

542
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,399
Speaker 2: end of the call, he said I love you. And

543
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, what am I supposed to say?

544
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 2: Even though I felt it, I felt it, but it

545
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 2: was just so much fear at that time because I

546
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,479
Speaker 2: was just like I said, I had been in uh.

547
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 5: Uh.

548
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 2: I had just been in relationships that just didn't didn't

549
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 2: just didn't pan out well. And so even from my

550
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 2: daughter's father and so I was dating.

551
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 5: So this was.

552
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 1: January, because that was February, because that was that was

553
00:26:59,000 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 1: about five months.

554
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 2: Later Yeah, that was about Yeah, yes, because that we

555
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 2: were down, because that was when the New England and

556
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 2: the Ravens Baltimore Ravens was in the super Bowl in

557
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 2: New Orleans. Yeah, so it was like February, six months,

558
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 2: and so I just felt so good about it. I

559
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 2: felt so happy.

560
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 3: Six months you were still scared with hearing the words, because.

561
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 2: You know, the enemy, the enemy, the enemy, uh loves

562
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 2: to pray when he sees something like that, say, the

563
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 2: enemy doesn't know your future, he knows your past, and

564
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 2: so he plays on your past. And so that's what

565
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 2: he was doing, playing on my past, putting all that doubt,

566
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 2: all that insecurity in my mind, and trying to keep

567
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 2: me from greatness, keeping me from my destiny, keeping me

568
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 2: from what I needed. Because God already knew the future.

569
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 2: God already seen what was coming down the line.

570
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 4: And so uh he said, he said, greatness.

571
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 1: I did. I did, very very well, very well, said greatness.

572
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 2: I did.

573
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 5: I did.

574
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,159
Speaker 2: I can spell it for you if you like to,

575
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:05,200
Speaker 2: but great. But yeah, and so I felt so good

576
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 2: about it. I felt so good about it.

577
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 4: What did you say back?

578
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 5: Nothing?

579
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't I did not say anything. I

580
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 1: didn't say anything back.

581
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,320
Speaker 4: I just you feel what you didn't say? Nothing? I

582
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 4: anticipated that.

583
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 5: Really, yeah, it was kind of a let me see

584
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 5: you know, because you know, you know as a man,

585
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 5: how you know how, Yeah, the woman you're dating is

586
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 5: feeling you know how, you know, the energy, and so

587
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 5: I knew that when we were together, we had a

588
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 5: great time, there was no problem, everything was good, but

589
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 5: you know, it was still that little hesitancy and all

590
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 5: of that, and so you could sense that. So it was,

591
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 5: it was it was one of those let me just

592
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 5: throw this, you know what I mean exactly. So I

593
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 5: wasn't I wasn't heard or shocked or bothered because I anticipated,

594
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 5: you know, this is all calculated moves when you're dating.

595
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 5: So hold on, Roy, I want you to break that down.

596
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 5: I can't see women don't understand.

597
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 3: That's why I even use the word trial close and

598
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 3: he's saying, these are calculated moves that men do while

599
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 3: they date. I want you to elaborate on that because

600
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 3: here it is. You met her October three. You said

601
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 3: I'm going for the baddest in the room. She's the

602
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 3: baddest in the room. You say something to go for her, right,

603
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 3: So you shot your shot at it. You even talked

604
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 3: to her friend to whisper her to her friend. And

605
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 3: what happens with a lot of times with men, they'll

606
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 3: go get that buy in from your friend to be

607
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 3: like hey, because if I get that validation, now I

608
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 3: got somebody to advocate on my behalf. Like girl, give

609
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 3: him a chance, Give him a chance, because isolate the

610
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 3: friend out the way, then the friend can get an

611
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 3: add to it.

612
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 4: But like he rude.

613
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 3: He even tried to talk to me, and he speak

614
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 3: to me, he we here together. Why you ignore me?

615
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 3: Go get the buy in from the friend. Talk to

616
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 3: the girl, so you get somebody to advocate. So when

617
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 3: you say throughout this six month period, what were some

618
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 3: things if you can go back in your mind that

619
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 3: you were doing that you were setting up.

620
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 4: The ultimate.

621
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 3: Proposal basically because you had to to a place of

622
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 3: proposal and at the point you wasn't thinking marriage minded,

623
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 3: but you were looking at I want to fill out

624
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:09,959
Speaker 3: this relationship. Understand her better understand me. I'm getting settled

625
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:11,960
Speaker 3: in my life. Is this a person I'm gonna do

626
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 3: life with, whether we do it as boyfriend and girlfriend

627
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 3: for five months or whether we transition the marriage.

628
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 4: So what were you doing in that six month period.

629
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 5: That's funny that most men know, yeah, as me, and

630
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 5: we know the steps the process to get there. And

631
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,720
Speaker 5: it was just like I went through the friend initially

632
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 5: and the friend was cool and if as a girl,

633
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 5: I got the friend okay, And so I took her

634
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 5: to meet my folks shortly thereafter a couple of dates.

635
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 5: Then she met and my family. I come from a

636
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 5: family of women. There's very few men in my family,

637
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 5: so I have I have three older sisters, okay, so

638
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 5: baby boy, ain't nobody good enough for the baby? And

639
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 5: then all of my older cousins female, so they all

640
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 5: ain't nobody good enough. You know. It was one of

641
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 5: them situations where there have been a few trials that

642
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 5: didn't make it past the family exactly.

643
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 4: So she made it past the family. Everybody. Everybody liked

644
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 4: her in the family, and so then what does that

645
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 4: mean for stop? What does that mean when you got

646
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 4: the buy in from the family.

647
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 5: The funny thing about that, it almost mimiced, was she

648
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 5: that was scary because now I'm like, yeah, okay, now

649
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 5: I got to be serious. I gotta be you know, absolutely,

650
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 5: it's grown up man time, because you know, you don't

651
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 5: want to fumble. You know, you get sitting something special,

652
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 5: you don't want to fumble it, right, And.

653
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 4: Then all your family, man, I'm talking about you messed

654
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 4: that up. Every time I try to get some need.

655
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 1: What that girl, that was a good girl.

656
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 5: You stupid. You know you got to hear that. You

657
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 5: missed that the next ten family unions. Yeah, so you

658
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 5: know you got to get hereerious now it's gold time

659
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 5: now and so and then I met her family and

660
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 5: right away me and her dad hit it off, which

661
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 5: is that's one of the rarest things when you're trying

662
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 5: to date a man's daughter. Yes, and you a total

663
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 5: stranger coming into that man's house, and that man likes

664
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 5: you right off, and that's rare. You know, that's there's

665
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 5: normally conflict, absolutely, and normally most men don't have any

666
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 5: like me, I have daughters, so I don't have a

667
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 5: problem telling the dude man, no, sorry, sorry, he was

668
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 5: not going nowhere with him, right. And so to get

669
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:53,240
Speaker 5: the approval from you know, her dad, and even I

670
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 5: even heard her mom tell her one time, good that

671
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 5: man he bringing you ice fi and stuff. Man, he

672
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 5: really liked yeah, you know, yeah, I heard them mom

673
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 5: saying that and so I got the approval from everybody

674
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 5: I needed. Everything else was on me, and so all

675
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 5: I had to do was not mess it up for

676
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 5: one continue to do what I was doing because it

677
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 5: was working at every level. I had cleared every obstacle.

678
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 5: All I had to do was go in for the

679
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 5: pod goal right. Everything else was on auto polyot And

680
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 5: so by me getting to that point and getting through all.

681
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 4: Those levels, I said, well, let me just let me

682
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 4: try something.

683
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 5: And you know, you she out of town with her friends,

684
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 5: you know, and I know, you know, you go out

685
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 5: with your girls, you're having fun. You know, you with

686
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 5: a bunch of other women. You know, it's a bunch

687
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 5: of men and women. You know, it's a super Bowl

688
00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 5: going on. So I know what that is. Yep. So

689
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 5: I just wanted to put something in her ear. It's like,

690
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 5: you know, you got you got something to come home

691
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 5: to this and uh, I love you. And I wasn't expecting,

692
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 5: but I knew by me doing that at that event,

693
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 5: she's gonna be thinking about that the whole time, that part,

694
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:24,839
Speaker 5: that whole that whole weekend. So don't matter what dude

695
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 5: come up to her, she thinking I gotta get.

696
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,920
Speaker 2: You at the super Bowl Chris Brown saw win a

697
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 2: rich won't you and your man can't do nothing for you?

698
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 1: He could do everything, but you.

699
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,919
Speaker 5: Know that, you know that, So he planned that seed

700
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 5: in your mind it was it was a seed planet.

701
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 1: It was a seed planet, definitely, it was a seed plane.

702
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 1: And He's right.

703
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 2: I thought about it the whole time, Like I even

704
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 2: told my sister. I told my friend and she and

705
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 2: I remember, Keisha was like, what you gonna do? Exactly,

706
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 2: like what you're gonna do? And I was like, that's

707
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,720
Speaker 2: the friend that was with her, was always.

708
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 4: As she was.

709
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,840
Speaker 1: She was my road dog. And uh, and I was like,

710
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,279
Speaker 1: I think, I think I love him too, don't like

711
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:18,720
Speaker 1: him too, you know, I think.

712
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 4: Like I said, I like him a lot.

713
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 2: Uh And uh, I came back. I came back, and uh,

714
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:33,920
Speaker 2: shortly after we decided, we decided we were going to

715
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 2: live together. Yeah, we decided we're gonna live together. But

716
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 2: right before that, because we were having pre marital.

717
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 5: Uh.

718
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 1: And of course, and I found out listen, I'm trying

719
00:35:51,200 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 1: to yeah, you know, yeah yeah.

720
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:13,359
Speaker 2: And so I found out that I was also right

721
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 2: for he had already asked me to to move with him,

722
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 2: to move together, and I knew that was gonna be

723
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 2: hard because my mom, my mom, and my dad, I

724
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 2: had parents that we could I can live with them

725
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 2: as long as I want to, and so, you know,

726
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, I want to move with him.

727
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: And then right before that, I found out that I

728
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 1: was pregnant at the same time.

729
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 2: And so when I you know, when I told my parents,

730
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 2: when I told my parents, hey, I'm gonna move, they

731
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,320
Speaker 2: were not They were not happy with that, you know what,

732
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 2: kind of became the enemy a little bit, like, you

733
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 2: know what, hate what he needed?

734
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 1: What did my mama say? What they say? She always

735
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:50,320
Speaker 1: she always.

736
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 2: Say, he gonna make an honest woman at it, when

737
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:54,760
Speaker 2: he gonna make an honor, he's gonna make an honest

738
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 2: woman out of you.

739
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:56,799
Speaker 1: And it wasn't even him.

740
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 5: It was me.

741
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 2: I did not want to be I didn't like I

742
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 2: was not even even though I loved him and I

743
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 2: was moving in with him and I wanted to be

744
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:11,760
Speaker 2: with him. Marriage was still not something that I wanted

745
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 2: to solidify.

746
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 3: And I'm glad you said that, because a lot of

747
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:17,320
Speaker 3: times they put it on the man. They don't believe

748
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 3: that women, I mean, so many women who've been like

749
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 3: they'll be dating a good guy and a guy been

750
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:23,239
Speaker 3: trying to marry them.

751
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 5: They be like, nah, I ain't ready.

752
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 2: Women say that I've turned down. I've had like eight

753
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 2: proposals and I've said no exactly. And it was just

754
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 2: one of those things like I'm just not I don't

755
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:37,399
Speaker 2: want to go into something and I'm not prepared. I'm

756
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 2: not prepared even being pregnant, you know, and that's even

757
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 2: going above and like even beyond marriage. Like it was

758
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:46,360
Speaker 2: just like it's not something I want to do. But

759
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 2: I respected that he was patient with me. He was

760
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 2: patient with me, and so I told my parents this

761
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 2: is what I was going to do. And I'm grown,

762
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 2: so you know, all they could do is to tell

763
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:56,759
Speaker 2: me and hope but that I do.

764
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: I do better. And uh, we we lived together and

765
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 1: then we ended up I ended up praying it again,

766
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 1: it's not not and not married.

767
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 2: And then that was the point to where he decided

768
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 2: like it was kind of like, hey, we're gonna do this.

769
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 2: We're gonna do this the right way. We've been, Uh

770
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 2: we've been living together. We've been three years. Yeah, so

771
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:29,000
Speaker 2: yeah almost ye're almost four three years apart, and so

772
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:32,320
Speaker 2: uh we're doing this, We're gonna do it right. We're

773
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 2: doing everything else like we're married, you know, we you know, uh,

774
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 2: and we decided to.

775
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 4: Just go to the.

776
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 2: Courthouse, go to the courthouse, and then, uh, we didn't

777
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 2: have a traditional wedding.

778
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 1: It wasn't. It was just kind of like, uh, what

779
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: is it? I just want to be mad, you know

780
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 1: me your waitress, But no, it was it was. It

781
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 1: was a love story.

782
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 2: It was. It was a love story. It wasn't a

783
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:06,400
Speaker 2: traditional love story. But we are still here. We are

784
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:11,720
Speaker 2: still here. And when we got married, it didn't nothing changed,

785
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 2: nothing changed the love just that just grew it.

786
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 1: And it was one of the best decisions that I

787
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:20,359
Speaker 1: made with him.

788
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 5: So let's go back to that young girl. So at

789
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 5: this age of what twenty.

790
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 1: Five At the time when I got married, it was

791
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 1: I twenty five.

792
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,279
Speaker 2: Now you know I'm at the age now you start

793
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 2: getting calculated out and stuff eight minus twenty twenty. So

794
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 2: let's say you're about twenty five, and that's what it's

795
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 2: good to get them questions before.

796
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 1: So you're be like, Okay, you asked me this.

797
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 5: Question.

798
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 4: I said, we don't do questions here.

799
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 2: I know you start asking numbers and dates and I'm like,

800
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 2: oh Lord, beting my birthday.

801
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 1: Listen, so listen.

802
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 4: So roughly around twenty.

803
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 5: Five, twenty five, about twenty five your mindset. Why do

804
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:02,839
Speaker 5: you think you didn't desire your marriage? You got your

805
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 5: parents pushing you. Your parents are like, don't even live together.

806
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 5: You defied what they said.

807
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 4: Did it again? Moved in with somebody.

808
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 3: This time is amplified because now you have a child,

809
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 3: you're pregnant with child. Then do it again? What was

810
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:23,360
Speaker 3: so adverse about marriage? If you could think back that

811
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,919
Speaker 3: made you not want to solidify your life?

812
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 2: You know, you know when you say your parents, your

813
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 2: parents can tell you one thing and it goes out

814
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 2: the other. And it kind of was just like doing

815
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 2: the opposite of what they they were telling me to do.

816
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 2: And then it was like, you know, my mom used

817
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 2: to always say, she used to be like, your daddy

818
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 2: is the only man I've been with.

819
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,759
Speaker 1: I've been with your daddy this many years. Y'all be

820
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:46,359
Speaker 1: with one and two and three and four.

821
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 2: I could never And so I was, it's tending for you.

822
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 2: You're gonna tell you. She gonna tell you, And basically

823
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 2: she said, you need to be with one person. But

824
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:01,800
Speaker 2: then in my mind, I'm like, do I want to

825
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 2: be with somebody forty years?

826
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 1: Do I want to be or do I just want to,

827
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 1: you know, have fun?

828
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 2: Do I really want to have fun to live my

829
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 2: life and see the world, and you know, do I

830
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:14,239
Speaker 2: really want to settle down?

831
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 5: Right?

832
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,320
Speaker 2: And so it was just one of those things like

833
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 2: it wasn't I didn't see there weren't marriages in my family,

834
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:25,719
Speaker 2: Like my dad has ten sisters, ten sisters and one brother,

835
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:30,320
Speaker 2: and outside my uncle, all my aunts were married, still

836
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:33,320
Speaker 2: still married outside the ones that are deceased.

837
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:34,960
Speaker 1: Even on my mom's side, you.

838
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 4: Know, all ten of them saw marriage.

839
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 1: I saw marriage.

840
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:42,239
Speaker 2: I saw my grandparents, my great camp grandparents. It was

841
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 2: right in my face. But it was just one of

842
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 2: those things like I'm just gonna go rule.

843
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 4: Myself.

844
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna do the opposite and see what happens, right.

845
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 2: And it was kind of like that's just one of

846
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 2: those things like I just was just wanted to you know,

847
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 2: I just wanted to do other things things.

848
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 1: And uh, and like I said, it was, it was.

849
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 4: It was a lot of the enemy.

850
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 2: It was a lot of just not being focused on

851
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,839
Speaker 2: the right thing and being so focused on so many

852
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 2: wrong things, knowing that you know, my I was, I

853
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,719
Speaker 2: was raised in a church, even my grandma. You know,

854
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,759
Speaker 2: from my grandmother. You know, I knew the right thing

855
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 2: to do, but I just wanted it to be right

856
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 2: when I wanted it to be right.

857
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:27,800
Speaker 3: Let me ask you this, what what what were you

858
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:31,960
Speaker 3: doing from a career standpoint at that age, at that age.

859
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 1: I what was I at Nemen Marcus?

860
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 2: I was working, So I was like I was at

861
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:40,280
Speaker 2: Neemens and I was going back and forth in between school.

862
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:44,279
Speaker 2: So I was in school and I was working. I

863
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:47,440
Speaker 2: was waitressing. I was waitressing and he stopped me from

864
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:50,840
Speaker 2: doing that. I was waitressing and working two jobs. So

865
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 2: I had transferred. I actually transferred from Great West Life

866
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 2: Insurance and then I started working for Fidelity Investments. And

867
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:00,920
Speaker 2: so I was working for Fidelity Investment as an auditor.

868
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 2: And then I got laid off. And so then once

869
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 2: I got laid off, I was kind of just in

870
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 2: between jobs. But I knew that I had goals and

871
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 2: I knew what I wanted to do, and so I

872
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 2: didn't want to be Maybe I'll say it this way,

873
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 2: like I seen my mom married right, and my dad

874
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:21,040
Speaker 2: is an amazing father, amazing husband, you know, I you know,

875
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:24,239
Speaker 2: I was affirmed. You know, we didn't want for nothing.

876
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 2: I had amazing, you know parents growing up. But I

877
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 2: do know that my mom, my mom was a housewife,

878
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 2: but she also worked, and so I know there were

879
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:37,400
Speaker 2: a lot of dreams and a lot of things and.

880
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 1: Ambitions that she had that she didn't that she didn't

881
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: live out.

882
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:46,239
Speaker 2: And I you know, in my mind, I was like,

883
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:48,400
Speaker 2: maybe it's because, you know, if she's married and she

884
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,239
Speaker 2: got to focus on this, she didn't. But if she

885
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 2: wasn't married, she'd be able to do this, she be

886
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,360
Speaker 2: able to do that. And you know, all the decisions

887
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 2: were made between her and my dad. And I'm like,

888
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 2: I don't I don't need anybody telling me what to do,

889
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 2: tell me how I can live. I love my end

890
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 2: it because even as even as my dad being married

891
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 2: to my mom, my dad always taught me about it

892
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,359
Speaker 2: being independent, like you make sure you have your own

893
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 2: bank account, you know, you move. Even when I moved

894
00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 2: out and I shocked the first time he said, don't

895
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,759
Speaker 2: put it that, don't don't put that man on your lease.

896
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 1: Don't put him in you least cause you want to

897
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:19,359
Speaker 1: put him out. You want to put him out.

898
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:22,879
Speaker 2: Okay, so he told me that he taught me all

899
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:24,839
Speaker 2: the things. He's like, you know, even when I left,

900
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 2: Even when I left, the guy he's like, don't tell him,

901
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 2: don't tell him. You leave and just pack your stuff

902
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 2: and leave, because you're gonna because you get you in

903
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 2: the corner, he's gonna, he's gonna, he's gonna talk you

904
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:33,400
Speaker 2: out of it.

905
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 1: I want you to just be able to go and

906
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: and uh, And I value that. I value that, and

907
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 1: so and I think it was a sense of wanting

908
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: my independence and thinking like, okay, now you know where

909
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 1: where I'm one, we're kind of two.

910
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 2: But I just wanted to be able to make my

911
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:56,680
Speaker 2: own decisions, which even now nothing changed, Like I'm still

912
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 2: able to make my own decisions, do my own thing.

913
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 2: He doesn't, he doesn't. You know, he might, he might

914
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 2: ask questions, but he rarely says no. He lets me

915
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,280
Speaker 2: live out my dreams. And that's what I respect.

916
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:13,800
Speaker 3: Even when you went to the Super Bowl, Roy, was

917
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 3: you insecure about that? No, So you wasn't the type

918
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 3: of guy to be like, who is she finna gone

919
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:20,880
Speaker 3: the trip with our homegirls, She's finna go beat some

920
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 3: dudes and get phone numbers.

921
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 4: You was never like a jealous guy.

922
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:30,759
Speaker 5: No, because I knew. I met her parents and at

923
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 5: this point, her parents have been married thirty years at

924
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 5: this point. And I met her grandpa, and I met

925
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:43,800
Speaker 5: her great grandpa and her great grandma. Her great grandma

926
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:48,839
Speaker 5: and great grandpa were still together ninety some years old, right,

927
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 5: So how did that give you security? Well, because I

928
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 5: know her roots. So the thing about women is that

929
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:06,040
Speaker 5: they they they sprouted from their past. Right, most women

930
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:09,239
Speaker 5: that grow up in chaos and see that, they are

931
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 5: chaotic women. But when women come from stability of marriage

932
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 5: and family. Still to this day, her family reunion is

933
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,279
Speaker 5: probably the biggest family run I've ever been to in

934
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:23,240
Speaker 5: my life. Like, they all go back to East Texas.

935
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 5: So when you see things like that, you know they're

936
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 5: about family, They're about committment, they're about She has never

937
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,880
Speaker 5: missed one of her family reunions at this age.

938
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:36,320
Speaker 2: For two years, right, really, No, I missed one and

939
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 2: that was when I missed one, that was and that

940
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 2: was that was when I was pregnant with Nair.

941
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:42,879
Speaker 4: That was the first.

942
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:46,839
Speaker 1: But other than try to pregnancy, they don't want people

943
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:50,440
Speaker 1: know you're pregnant. So I couldn't go that time, and so.

944
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 5: I met even the whole kid next year, the first

945
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 5: family union.

946
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:58,879
Speaker 4: I went down to all those aunts. She was telling

947
00:46:58,920 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 4: me about it.

948
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 5: Yeah, I talked to all of the my man, they

949
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 5: all signed me up right, So I already knew what

950
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 5: I was getting into because the aunt's, the cousins, the uncles,

951
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 5: the grandpa, they all so I already knew who she was.

952
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 3: But Roy, she's been the opposite of everything that she's

953
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 3: been shown. So why didn't that Why didn't that bring

954
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 3: fear in you?

955
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:21,160
Speaker 4: Like? Hold on?

956
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 5: Now, she she sees all this, she sees her dad

957
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 5: is like, don't go live with another dude. She's doing that.

958
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:31,439
Speaker 3: She's not trying to quote unquote marry you. Why would

959
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 3: you look at her as being the damage case to

960
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 3: be like, okay.

961
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:38,919
Speaker 4: She she ain't the meeds? He said, what because I knew,

962
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:40,960
Speaker 4: Because I knew that wasn't really her.

963
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:43,839
Speaker 1: And I was doing all the things like I was doing.

964
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 1: I was doing all the things, but I was in

965
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 1: my mind saying opposite.

966
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 2: So I was playing wife. I was doing wifely things.

967
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,640
Speaker 2: I was doing what I learned, you know, from my

968
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,759
Speaker 2: mother and my aunties. I just didn't yeah, like I

969
00:47:57,800 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 2: didn't want to sign a piece of paper like I

970
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 2: didn't want to. I don't want to take do vows

971
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:04,360
Speaker 2: and feel like I was signing my life away. And

972
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 2: I even signed my life away. It's just just it

973
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 2: was almost like a control type thing, like that's what

974
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:13,359
Speaker 2: was in my mind, to lose control. I didn't want

975
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 2: to lose control. And I felt like me becoming us,

976
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:21,479
Speaker 2: becoming a unit in some way or another. The enemy

977
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 2: talking is that I was going to lose control in

978
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:25,359
Speaker 2: some type of way.

979
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:29,080
Speaker 1: But he never He never did. He never did anything

980
00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 1: to show me that.

981
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:33,400
Speaker 5: I would lose I knew that the opposite, Yeah, the opposite,

982
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:38,520
Speaker 5: because I came from chaos, right, Yeah, so I've seen chaos.

983
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,759
Speaker 5: You know that it's worse. So I knew what that

984
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 5: looked like. I didn't come from this is good, Uh,

985
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:50,799
Speaker 5: a married household. You know, my mom and daddy didn't

986
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 5: live together. Right, So I didn't come from having dinner

987
00:48:56,640 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 5: wait for I came from extreme poverty. She said she

988
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 5: didn't want for nothing as a child. I wanted for everything.

989
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 5: I just wanted food close. I didn't have, you know, choices,

990
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:12,279
Speaker 5: and I didn't have most days, I didn't have running water, electricity.

991
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:16,879
Speaker 5: So I didn't come from that world where she came from.

992
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 5: So me having to see the things that I saw

993
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 5: as a young child, but then to go to something

994
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:27,560
Speaker 5: different when I went to Denver, gave me both sides.

995
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 4: You know, I got to saw both. I got to

996
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:31,560
Speaker 4: see both sides of it.

997
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 5: So I could tell when people people were playing and

998
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 5: thinking they wanted that. You don't really want that chaos.

999
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 5: You might thank you, you know, really bad at you

1000
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 5: don't really want.

1001
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:45,839
Speaker 4: That chaos ay a lot.

1002
00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 5: So if you sit back long enough and go ahead,

1003
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 5: do you think and you just got to sit there

1004
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,360
Speaker 5: and wait, yeah, because you ain't gonna want to be

1005
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 5: in that chaos long Because over here, all I had.

1006
00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:59,239
Speaker 4: To do was do what a man is supposed to do.

1007
00:49:59,719 --> 00:49:59,879
Speaker 5: Bill.

1008
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:02,720
Speaker 4: Then I'm over here building for the future.

1009
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,080
Speaker 5: There it is sooner or later you're gonna come out

1010
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 5: there rain and get getting this shelter, you know what

1011
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:12,480
Speaker 5: I mean? Sooner later, And so if you do what

1012
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 5: you're supposed to do as a man, it's good. And

1013
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 5: you know, you build for your family because at this

1014
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 5: point where you're gonna go, you got three kids, you

1015
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 5: know what I mean.

1016
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:23,840
Speaker 4: So I ain't I ain't have to worry about it.

1017
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 5: You intimidated about go ahead and do do what you

1018
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:29,600
Speaker 5: gotta do. But when you do, get your hair right,

1019
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 5: I'm right here, we're gonna we're gonna be set. Yeah.

1020
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 5: And so that that, uh, that was my focus. I

1021
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:39,399
Speaker 5: was focused on doing what a man needs to do, because,

1022
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:42,879
Speaker 5: like I said, I saw both sides of it. When

1023
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:46,279
Speaker 5: y'all got married, she brought she brought one kid to

1024
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 5: the marriage.

1025
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:49,360
Speaker 4: And then how many did you bring to the marriage?

1026
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 4: I bought four. You brought four kids, so you had

1027
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 4: How old were you when you had your first job?

1028
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 3: I was twenty four, twenty three, twenty twenty twenty three,

1029
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:02,439
Speaker 3: twenty four years old, and so you had four kids.

1030
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:05,000
Speaker 3: What did you think about him having four kids?

1031
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 2: Well, so here's the thing. I have a child, right,

1032
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 2: and so I didn't have any discrepancies with a man

1033
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 2: having children as long as he was taking care of

1034
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,239
Speaker 2: his children, yep. And also I wanted a man who

1035
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 2: would be familiar with parenting and know how to be

1036
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 2: around children, right. And so being that he had young

1037
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:29,640
Speaker 2: children and I had young children, it was perfect.

1038
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 1: It was perfect.

1039
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 2: So I didn't have any you know, discrepancies or any

1040
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 2: concerns other than.

1041
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 1: Him, you know, taking care of his children. But also.

1042
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 2: He didn't have any turmoil with the mothers, like he

1043
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 2: never like I never heard him. He never talked bad

1044
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:55,440
Speaker 2: about him, He never said anything negative. You know, they

1045
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 2: had their differences, and that was one of the things

1046
00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:04,279
Speaker 2: we missed out. That's how he was introduced to my

1047
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:07,799
Speaker 2: daughter Niera, because remember we were dating, but Niera wasn't

1048
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:10,360
Speaker 2: coming around. Niera coming just like he's always say, Niraa

1049
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:12,120
Speaker 2: would be opening the door for me when he dropped

1050
00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:12,359
Speaker 2: me off.

1051
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 1: She always looking out the window and she'd opened me door,

1052
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:16,799
Speaker 1: like what a little bit. The little girl ain't sleep

1053
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:19,319
Speaker 1: and she wait for her mama, and so.

1054
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:24,640
Speaker 2: And so one uh, one day he asked me, he said, hey,

1055
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 2: do you want to go out of town for a

1056
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:29,759
Speaker 2: few days and do you want to bring you can

1057
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:30,479
Speaker 2: bring your daughter.

1058
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,360
Speaker 1: And I was kind of like, I don't know about that.

1059
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 2: And you know, even my mom is like, you know,

1060
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:36,560
Speaker 2: you got you gotta be careful bringing your child around

1061
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:39,759
Speaker 2: around a man. And I was always, you know, very

1062
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:42,359
Speaker 2: careful about that. And so my mom and my dad

1063
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 2: and my dad was like, I think, you know, I

1064
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 2: think it'll be all right, and.

1065
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,080
Speaker 1: So not knowing.

1066
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 2: Is when I brought Naiera out with my bags, his

1067
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:53,160
Speaker 2: daughter was in the back seat sleep she was in

1068
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:54,759
Speaker 2: So that was the first introduction.

1069
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 1: She was six, she was six.

1070
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 2: My daughter, well she was she was five and Naierra

1071
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,239
Speaker 2: was three. So now they were getting ready to be

1072
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:05,800
Speaker 2: Tony six. Yeah, uh and uh. That was their first introduction.

1073
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:08,560
Speaker 2: And that was my first introduction to his daughter. And

1074
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:12,719
Speaker 2: so he took us on a road trip to Chicago.

1075
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:16,799
Speaker 2: He took us on from Dallas to Chicago. He said,

1076
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:18,400
Speaker 2: have you ever been to Chicago? And we went on

1077
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:21,520
Speaker 2: a road trip and I got to I got to

1078
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:25,400
Speaker 2: know him and I got to know Ishiana and that

1079
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:28,040
Speaker 2: was the first time Nira said.

1080
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 1: So Ishianna kept saying, daddy, Daddy is daddy that, Daddy?

1081
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:33,160
Speaker 1: Can you do this? Daddy can you do that?

1082
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:36,600
Speaker 2: And Naira starts saying, daddy, can you do this? So

1083
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:42,400
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, he was like, yeah, exactly what

1084
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:46,560
Speaker 2: I did. I was like, no, no, please stop, now.

1085
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:50,439
Speaker 4: That's another herd Yeah.

1086
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:52,400
Speaker 5: She was like. So she was like and so.

1087
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:57,279
Speaker 2: So she said, she said Mama, she said, Mama, I

1088
00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:59,879
Speaker 2: want to call She said, Mama, I want to call him.

1089
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:02,800
Speaker 1: Can I call him? Daddy, and he didn't allow me

1090
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:03,400
Speaker 1: to answer.

1091
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 2: He said, you can call me whatever you like to

1092
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,400
Speaker 2: call me, baby, whatever you want to call me, you

1093
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:08,840
Speaker 2: can call me.

1094
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:11,160
Speaker 1: I'm okay with that. And I didn't say nothing, but

1095
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:12,960
Speaker 1: in my mind I was like, girl, not hear, why

1096
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:15,120
Speaker 1: you do that? Why you do that? Now?

1097
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:16,880
Speaker 4: What are you gonna be thinking? Said, cause I'm here

1098
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:17,319
Speaker 4: to stay.

1099
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:21,760
Speaker 1: I'm here to stay. And that was the first introduction.

1100
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 2: And I got to see how how he parents, and

1101
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:28,320
Speaker 2: how much his daughter loved him, and how much he

1102
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 2: took care of her, and and when I met his

1103
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:36,319
Speaker 2: I didn't actually meet her mother. I talked to her

1104
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:39,400
Speaker 2: on the phone and her mother. Her mother was getting

1105
00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:41,960
Speaker 2: ready to she had a hus She was married and

1106
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:44,399
Speaker 2: her husband was in the military and they were going

1107
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 2: to Hawaii for the name in the Navy, and Ashiana

1108
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:50,600
Speaker 2: was coming to stay with us. She asked if Ishiana

1109
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 2: could come stay with us. But when I talked to her,

1110
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:54,719
Speaker 2: from the moment I talked to her, she was like,

1111
00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:59,319
Speaker 2: you parent Ishiana, just like Ashiana is your child. Don't

1112
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:02,600
Speaker 2: let Ashiana disrespect you, don't. She talked to me and

1113
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:07,279
Speaker 2: she gave me the authority, and I knew what type

1114
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:09,800
Speaker 2: of what type of relationship they had. There was no like,

1115
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:12,080
Speaker 2: there was no you know what they call baby mama drama.

1116
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:15,480
Speaker 2: She had her own life and he had our and

1117
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 2: he had his own life and they both were okay.

1118
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:19,880
Speaker 1: It was good and yeah and so.

1119
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 4: So what made you take them to Chicago?

1120
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:28,399
Speaker 5: Yeah? Family down the rges. You just know, just picked

1121
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 5: the place on the on the map, so let's go.

1122
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:33,439
Speaker 5: I just picked the place on the map. I said,

1123
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:36,920
Speaker 5: let's go to Chicago. To Chicago. I hadn't been to

1124
00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:38,799
Speaker 5: Chicago in twenty years.

1125
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 4: How long is that drive?

1126
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:45,320
Speaker 5: At that time, it was like fifteen hours, but it

1127
00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:47,920
Speaker 5: was but you gotta remember Chicago was the end. It

1128
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 5: was a road trip. Yeah, so we uh stopped in Memphis.

1129
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 5: We stopped in Saint Louis and went to the It

1130
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:58,400
Speaker 5: went to the archip y'all went on family vacation.

1131
00:55:58,560 --> 00:55:58,759
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1132
00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:02,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, we went up to mill Yep to the outlets

1133
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:04,279
Speaker 5: and shop, and then came back to Chicago and then

1134
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 5: came home.

1135
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,239
Speaker 1: The places I had never been before. So I had

1136
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:08,640
Speaker 1: never been to any of those places.

1137
00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:11,359
Speaker 2: So it was also an experience for me because now

1138
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 2: he's taken me out of my comfort zone. He's taking

1139
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:15,080
Speaker 2: me out of my lement. He's showing me things that

1140
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 2: I haven't seen before. You know, even though I went

1141
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,200
Speaker 2: on road trips when as a kid, I've never been

1142
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 2: to Chicago. I never been that far up north, so

1143
00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:27,280
Speaker 2: it was it was definitely an experience possibility.

1144
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 5: Roy.

1145
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:28,279
Speaker 4: Let me tell you something.

1146
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:30,840
Speaker 3: I have to salute you because I'm glad that you

1147
00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 3: had pure intentions, because there's a lot of women that

1148
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 3: got jacked up by men doing exactly that you everything

1149
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:40,680
Speaker 3: that you did, it's just it's called love bombing. They'll

1150
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:43,440
Speaker 3: do all those great grand gestures and they don't have

1151
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:44,759
Speaker 3: nothing for that woman.

1152
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 1: That's why I was torn.

1153
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, up, I just think about it.

1154
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 3: Introduced to the kid, take you on a trip, take

1155
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:53,840
Speaker 3: you around your family. She brings you around our family,

1156
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:56,239
Speaker 3: and you have no you know from the start, I

1157
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:57,839
Speaker 3: ain't got no good intentions with the woman. I don't

1158
00:56:57,840 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 3: want to be with the woman.

1159
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:00,319
Speaker 5: I'm gonna say, I'm gona tell this little girl called

1160
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 5: me anything she wants to call me whatever she's comfortable with.

1161
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:04,640
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be around by next.

1162
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 1: Year and just be cruel.

1163
00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:09,080
Speaker 4: But let me ask you this. You don't think the

1164
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:13,880
Speaker 4: woman knew that? Why you said that? Why you say that.

1165
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:18,080
Speaker 5: What? Oh lord, it's a process. We keep saying, everything

1166
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:22,600
Speaker 5: is methodical, it's a process. It's steps. At one of

1167
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:27,479
Speaker 5: them steps, we didn't discuss that. Woman knew he ain't

1168
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:29,760
Speaker 5: about nothing or even.

1169
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 2: Like people people see it because even like like my

1170
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:37,080
Speaker 2: first my daughter's father, I was kind of he loved

1171
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:38,400
Speaker 2: bob me, I had a baby, everything.

1172
00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:42,160
Speaker 1: But my daddy from the beginning was like, and you

1173
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:42,960
Speaker 1: just wasn't listening.

1174
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 4: I was.

1175
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 1: He had already he already got me caught up. So

1176
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:49,960
Speaker 1: I was already. Uh, I was already caught up and

1177
00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 1: already thought I was in love and this is my

1178
00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:55,360
Speaker 1: first and all this stuff, and uh.

1179
00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:57,360
Speaker 2: And my mama was just kind of the same, Like

1180
00:57:57,520 --> 00:58:00,880
Speaker 2: you know, my mom always believed the more you tell

1181
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,680
Speaker 2: them no, the more they're gonna go the other way.

1182
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 2: So my mom kind of just was like, I'm just

1183
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:09,480
Speaker 2: gonna stay out of it. I'm gonna let her, I'm

1184
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:12,160
Speaker 2: gonna let her learn. But my dad was always adamant.

1185
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 2: And I remember when I told him my dad broke

1186
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 2: my first relationship up.

1187
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:16,520
Speaker 1: I didn't.

1188
00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:18,320
Speaker 2: We didn't have like a relationship where it was like

1189
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:21,200
Speaker 2: he broke up with me. My dad he came over

1190
00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:25,200
Speaker 2: one day. My dad wasn't happy with the situation. I

1191
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:28,320
Speaker 2: had already had my daughter, and I remember he had

1192
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 2: brought up.

1193
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:29,600
Speaker 1: He had a girl in the.

1194
00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:31,120
Speaker 2: Car with him, but he tried to park around on

1195
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 2: the other side and my dad saw the girl in

1196
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 2: the car. And so at that time, I had never

1197
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 2: been cheated on.

1198
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 1: I had never known. I hadn't had anybody. I hadn't

1199
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:39,440
Speaker 1: had anybody cheating on me.

1200
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 2: And I remember my dad was like, I heard a

1201
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 2: whole bunch of you know, confusion outside and a whole

1202
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 2: bunch of yelling, and my dad and I saw my

1203
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:49,280
Speaker 2: daughter come in, and so that when I saw my

1204
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:51,680
Speaker 2: daughter come in, because he had my daughter, I knew

1205
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:54,040
Speaker 2: he was out there, but I was like, why, why

1206
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:55,640
Speaker 2: is there? Why is the cussing and stuff? And so

1207
00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:58,160
Speaker 2: my Dad's like, how dare you? I heard I heard

1208
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:00,320
Speaker 2: my dad say how dare you show up to my

1209
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:02,840
Speaker 2: house with a woman? And when I heard woman, I

1210
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 2: immediately started crying. I remember just crying. And my dad

1211
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:08,720
Speaker 2: came in the house and he said, cry all you

1212
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 2: want to tonight, but it ends in the morning.

1213
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:17,040
Speaker 1: It ends in the morning. Don't ever let a man

1214
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:20,120
Speaker 1: tell you. He don't want you more than once, O God.

1215
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:21,640
Speaker 1: And that was the end.

1216
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:22,560
Speaker 4: That's fatherhood.

1217
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 2: That was the end.

1218
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:28,480
Speaker 1: There was no I call him, We try to make

1219
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 1: it up.

1220
00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:29,120
Speaker 4: My dad.

1221
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:33,080
Speaker 1: He can't come over here, you can't see him. That's final.

1222
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 2: Respect that when he said, when my dad said, never

1223
00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:39,800
Speaker 2: let a man tell you he don't want you more

1224
00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:43,080
Speaker 2: than once, that is something that never left my spirit.

1225
00:59:44,200 --> 00:59:45,320
Speaker 1: That never left my spirit.

1226
00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 2: And he said, Naira will always be taken care. If

1227
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:50,360
Speaker 2: he don't ever do nothing for her in his life,

1228
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:52,000
Speaker 2: you won't have to worry. She won't never have to

1229
00:59:52,040 --> 00:59:55,680
Speaker 2: worry again. And I respected that because I respected my dad.

1230
00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 2: Jackie Race session, Jackie Ession, what shout.

1231
00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 4: Out to you my father's stand up? That right every

1232
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:03,680
Speaker 4: blessing my soul.

1233
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 5: Boy.

1234
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:07,400
Speaker 1: I love it when you don't play about me and

1235
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:07,920
Speaker 1: my sister.

1236
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 4: But you hit the nail on the head.

1237
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:11,600
Speaker 5: Roy.

1238
01:00:11,920 --> 01:00:14,240
Speaker 3: He was talking about looking at every step. That if

1239
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 3: someone looks at every step and they see where there's tensions,

1240
01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:19,760
Speaker 3: nobody in their family like you.

1241
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:22,040
Speaker 5: But you're like, I don't care. I love it like

1242
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:25,480
Speaker 5: no you blind. Everybody then told you everybody that's friending

1243
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:26,680
Speaker 5: your homegirl.

1244
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:29,280
Speaker 1: Somebody, I told you, somebody somebody got.

1245
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:33,720
Speaker 4: Hitting on your cousins. You still, yeah, he was just playing.

1246
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:37,840
Speaker 4: You know, you don't seen every sign there is he

1247
01:00:37,960 --> 01:00:38,320
Speaker 4: just playing.

1248
01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 5: He was just playing.

1249
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:44,120
Speaker 4: You done gave him every excuse in the world, you

1250
01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 4: know what I'm saying. So a lot of it. You know,

1251
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 4: some women they're young, they don't know.

1252
01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:54,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, but a lot of women, everybody don't have the guidance.

1253
01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:56,680
Speaker 1: Like everybody don't have my dad. Some people do. Some

1254
01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:58,640
Speaker 1: people do have my dad and still don't.

1255
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:00,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, still don't worry. Have a friend or they have

1256
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 4: a friend.

1257
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:02,400
Speaker 1: But there's some discernment there.

1258
01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:05,840
Speaker 2: There's somebody who's who who at some point in time

1259
01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:09,880
Speaker 2: said hey, like, you know, he giving me questionable vibes.

1260
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:11,280
Speaker 1: I don't think he's the one for you.

1261
01:01:11,840 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 5: There's always a sign I believe as a man, you know,

1262
01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 5: I think that's I see this a lot, especially on

1263
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:24,720
Speaker 5: the internet, social media nowadays.

1264
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:28,640
Speaker 4: I see a lot of women saying what a man

1265
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:29,840
Speaker 4: gonna do? What a man thinking?

1266
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:33,880
Speaker 5: And you just can't do that. If a man tell

1267
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 5: you what a man, you're not a man. So if

1268
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:39,600
Speaker 5: a man tell you something, that's what a man thinks,

1269
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:40,240
Speaker 5: that's what a man.

1270
01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:42,240
Speaker 4: You know, well, I know.

1271
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 5: You can't speak for no man as a woman. This

1272
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:48,800
Speaker 5: man has told you exactly what it is, and you

1273
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:53,920
Speaker 5: know I know him. I've had conversations with I'm like,

1274
01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:56,000
Speaker 5: so you're gonna tell me how man and I have

1275
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:56,880
Speaker 5: other homeboys.

1276
01:01:56,920 --> 01:01:58,440
Speaker 4: It's not it's not like I'm basing it on.

1277
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:01,400
Speaker 3: Just my own thought talking about as a man, and

1278
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:04,880
Speaker 3: also been around men who are more honest with each

1279
01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:05,880
Speaker 3: other than they would have you.

1280
01:02:06,440 --> 01:02:08,479
Speaker 4: So how you just think sraight?

1281
01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:10,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my dad. That was my daddy. My daddy

1282
01:02:10,680 --> 01:02:13,080
Speaker 1: taught me the line in the Gazelle for a long time,

1283
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:14,080
Speaker 1: the line in the Gazelle.

1284
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:16,920
Speaker 2: He said, how the lion works. You see a pack

1285
01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:20,040
Speaker 2: of gazelles. The man that is out to hunt the

1286
01:02:20,160 --> 01:02:23,160
Speaker 2: lion goes for the weakest league. You always see the gazelle,

1287
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:27,240
Speaker 2: and there is always one gazelle that'll veer off to

1288
01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:27,720
Speaker 2: the left.

1289
01:02:27,760 --> 01:02:29,520
Speaker 1: The other one's stay in the pack. They'll stay in

1290
01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:31,600
Speaker 1: the pack. But that one that decides not to stay

1291
01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:31,760
Speaker 1: in the.

1292
01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:33,919
Speaker 2: Pack, that's the one the lion starts to hunt down,

1293
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:37,720
Speaker 2: and finally he takes down and devours. My dad always

1294
01:02:37,760 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 2: told me that. My dad always told us lessons like

1295
01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:42,200
Speaker 2: he told me everything about a man. I think probably

1296
01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:44,600
Speaker 2: a lot of that was instilled to me. Instilled in

1297
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 2: me too. That made me scared, even when he told

1298
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:49,280
Speaker 2: me like, if a man tells you you know, so,

1299
01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:51,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, I ain't nobody gonna tell.

1300
01:02:50,920 --> 01:02:53,600
Speaker 1: Me twice so the truth?

1301
01:02:53,800 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, I tell you truth.

1302
01:02:56,360 --> 01:02:58,400
Speaker 2: It's like he said, Just like he said, you know,

1303
01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 2: it's one of those things you live and you learn.

1304
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,840
Speaker 1: But I'm grateful. I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for that.

1305
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:07,320
Speaker 1: And that's you know what. I you know, try to

1306
01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:09,200
Speaker 1: do my best to instill in my daughters.

1307
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:12,520
Speaker 2: They don't always listen, but we do our best to

1308
01:03:13,360 --> 01:03:15,080
Speaker 2: give them a healthy foundation so they know.

1309
01:03:16,120 --> 01:03:17,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, and Roy, you said you had to you had

1310
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 5: to check some boys along the way as it came

1311
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:20,120
Speaker 5: with your daughter.

1312
01:03:20,360 --> 01:03:21,920
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you know.

1313
01:03:26,520 --> 01:03:30,240
Speaker 1: It because you know not to to to even you know,

1314
01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:34,480
Speaker 1: because you know. I love my daughters. But there there

1315
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:36,160
Speaker 1: have been times like when.

1316
01:03:36,240 --> 01:03:39,400
Speaker 2: My daughter showed up and he he has been more optimistic,

1317
01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:42,800
Speaker 2: but he has learned that my spirit is very discerning

1318
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:44,600
Speaker 2: and I don't I don't get it wrong.

1319
01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 1: I don't get it wrong. And when I was like,

1320
01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:50,320
Speaker 1: I don't like it, I don't like it.

1321
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:52,440
Speaker 2: My husband's like, give it a chance, please, you just

1322
01:03:52,680 --> 01:03:54,520
Speaker 2: you ain't even you know, And I was just like,

1323
01:03:58,040 --> 01:03:59,800
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm you know, he may be good for

1324
01:03:59,880 --> 01:04:02,240
Speaker 2: someone else, but I don't believe he's good for my daughter.

1325
01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:08,000
Speaker 1: And uh, and I was right at.

1326
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:09,680
Speaker 4: One point, Roy, did you think she was just being

1327
01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:12,160
Speaker 4: too piggy? I just think that, Uh.

1328
01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:18,960
Speaker 5: Women have a certain perspective and a certain mindset because

1329
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:22,560
Speaker 5: it's women dealing with women, right, and so the way

1330
01:04:22,600 --> 01:04:25,360
Speaker 5: they view things, you know, it's just coming from their perspective.

1331
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:30,840
Speaker 5: I respect that, but you know, in today's world, it

1332
01:04:30,880 --> 01:04:34,400
Speaker 5: didn't work out right. Yeah, she was right, she was right.

1333
01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:44,160
Speaker 4: We on camera. She is, well, women have a way

1334
01:04:44,200 --> 01:04:45,000
Speaker 4: of looking at faith.

1335
01:04:45,160 --> 01:04:46,240
Speaker 5: But here's here's.

1336
01:04:46,080 --> 01:04:46,520
Speaker 4: Here's the thing.

1337
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:48,960
Speaker 2: That's how marriages last so long because we have selective hearing.

1338
01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:50,320
Speaker 2: That's one of the things hearing.

1339
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:54,600
Speaker 5: But I'm told I told my kids, especially especially my girls,

1340
01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:58,560
Speaker 5: and this is and this is why you know, the

1341
01:04:58,640 --> 01:05:00,840
Speaker 5: world is different now. But this, this is why because

1342
01:05:00,880 --> 01:05:04,000
Speaker 5: of how we've been and because of how we've grown

1343
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:04,960
Speaker 5: up and been along.

1344
01:05:05,120 --> 01:05:05,960
Speaker 4: I told each one of.

1345
01:05:05,960 --> 01:05:08,280
Speaker 5: My girls, and especially in that particular situation she talked

1346
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:12,480
Speaker 5: about when it got to the point so when we

1347
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:16,240
Speaker 5: have different approaches to things, actually right, So when she

1348
01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:21,400
Speaker 5: get mad, but when I get mad, it's a man.

1349
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:24,600
Speaker 5: It's a different kind of man. And so when I

1350
01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:28,120
Speaker 5: got to the point when I got mad, I told

1351
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:32,360
Speaker 5: my daughter, I said, look, I took outside. I said, look,

1352
01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:39,080
Speaker 5: if he don't have his shi t together, I'm coming

1353
01:05:39,120 --> 01:05:41,800
Speaker 5: back up here next week with a U haul. I'm

1354
01:05:41,840 --> 01:05:46,160
Speaker 5: packing you stuff and we getting about it, and we're

1355
01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:48,680
Speaker 5: not going to talk about it. Right.

1356
01:05:49,280 --> 01:05:52,280
Speaker 1: So that's the kind of relationship I have with our kids,

1357
01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:54,720
Speaker 1: is what I say.

1358
01:05:54,840 --> 01:05:56,040
Speaker 4: And negotiation, you.

1359
01:05:56,040 --> 01:05:57,880
Speaker 5: Know what I mean. And that's the thing you have

1360
01:05:58,040 --> 01:06:00,680
Speaker 5: to do. Like even when she you know how she said,

1361
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:04,480
Speaker 5: you know, she do what she wanted to do. But

1362
01:06:04,560 --> 01:06:08,400
Speaker 5: when it it's time to fix something, you still got

1363
01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:10,520
Speaker 5: to be a father, You still got to be a husband.

1364
01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:15,360
Speaker 4: You still got to be more than just. And they're

1365
01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:16,680
Speaker 4: going to respect that word.

1366
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:19,400
Speaker 5: If you raise them right, they're going to respect that

1367
01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:22,960
Speaker 5: because then they know you got to be forceful with them.

1368
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:27,120
Speaker 5: So that's how And I'm not worried about it because

1369
01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:30,160
Speaker 5: I know that no matter what situation my kids get in,

1370
01:06:30,920 --> 01:06:32,560
Speaker 5: I'm gonna be able to get most of the lunch.

1371
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:34,840
Speaker 5: It ain't no stuff, you know what I mean, but

1372
01:06:34,960 --> 01:06:38,560
Speaker 5: emotional relationship stuff. I built myself in a in a

1373
01:06:38,640 --> 01:06:40,919
Speaker 5: way to where I will always better protect my kids.

1374
01:06:41,440 --> 01:06:44,120
Speaker 5: So no matter what your situation is, you got a baby,

1375
01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:46,560
Speaker 5: you gotta okay, don't worry about it. You connect to that,

1376
01:06:47,120 --> 01:06:49,840
Speaker 5: We're gonna work it out. Don't ever let it, you know,

1377
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:53,040
Speaker 5: don't ever worry about that. So I give them a

1378
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,200
Speaker 5: little more lead way because I know I'm able to

1379
01:06:55,240 --> 01:06:56,040
Speaker 5: fix most things.

1380
01:06:56,160 --> 01:07:00,320
Speaker 4: Would you be the same way with y'all? Son, she's

1381
01:07:00,400 --> 01:07:05,280
Speaker 4: not I am. I don't even bother him in most.

1382
01:07:05,200 --> 01:07:09,400
Speaker 3: Cases, say he twenty seven years old, he having kids

1383
01:07:09,480 --> 01:07:11,320
Speaker 3: by different women or whatever. Would you like, Oh, you

1384
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:14,200
Speaker 3: can come here, will well you know we'll we'll take.

1385
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:18,240
Speaker 5: Care of you. No, I will help you get the apartment,

1386
01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:22,560
Speaker 5: give you a couple of dollars and hold you down

1387
01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:27,720
Speaker 5: for maybe a month. No, you never because it's different

1388
01:07:27,760 --> 01:07:30,200
Speaker 5: for me. Yeah, you have to let that man understand

1389
01:07:30,360 --> 01:07:33,200
Speaker 5: what you got to deal with the world. Yes, because

1390
01:07:33,320 --> 01:07:35,160
Speaker 5: if I do that, then you're just gonna be a

1391
01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:39,640
Speaker 5: little sorry. You ain't good for nobody, And that's that's

1392
01:07:40,880 --> 01:07:42,640
Speaker 5: and that would be a failure on my part. My

1393
01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:45,160
Speaker 5: son went out there and did that's a reflection of me. Yeah,

1394
01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:49,240
Speaker 5: And that's the that's the one thing I think women

1395
01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:52,880
Speaker 5: miss the most about men. They get this the biggest

1396
01:07:52,920 --> 01:07:58,560
Speaker 5: misconception women have about men. A grown man is a

1397
01:07:58,760 --> 01:08:04,000
Speaker 5: very simple creature. Yep. A little boy is way more

1398
01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:07,080
Speaker 5: complicated than a thrown man. And that's how you can

1399
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:10,720
Speaker 5: easily tell if this man is complicated, got chaos, got issue,

1400
01:08:10,840 --> 01:08:14,040
Speaker 5: He always into something and he's still a little kid. Yeah,

1401
01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:17,080
Speaker 5: if he ain't got nothing going on, he's just sitting there,

1402
01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:20,439
Speaker 5: dies on the cow, peaceful. Ain't gonna that man got

1403
01:08:20,479 --> 01:08:21,080
Speaker 5: his life together.

1404
01:08:21,160 --> 01:08:22,719
Speaker 4: And then some women say that's boring.

1405
01:08:23,080 --> 01:08:25,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is born, is born.

1406
01:08:25,560 --> 01:08:26,920
Speaker 5: Yeah that is good.

1407
01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:30,160
Speaker 4: But he got his life together. That's born to keep

1408
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:34,800
Speaker 4: you out of visitation to him, right, And that's the

1409
01:08:35,280 --> 01:08:38,200
Speaker 4: It's very simple. And so he said that you're different

1410
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:39,280
Speaker 4: when it applies to the boy.

1411
01:08:39,760 --> 01:08:42,120
Speaker 1: What is that like, Oh, Addison. Of course he's the baby.

1412
01:08:42,560 --> 01:08:44,439
Speaker 1: He's the baby. He's a boy, and I'm ma mama.

1413
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:49,000
Speaker 2: But I do know that I am essentially raising Addison

1414
01:08:49,479 --> 01:08:52,760
Speaker 2: to be a father and a husband, and so as

1415
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:55,720
Speaker 2: he is traditional when it comes to raising him as

1416
01:08:55,760 --> 01:08:58,400
Speaker 2: a man, I also want Addison to be able to

1417
01:08:58,439 --> 01:09:03,720
Speaker 2: be a nurturer, a outside of protector and provider so

1418
01:09:03,880 --> 01:09:06,320
Speaker 2: when something does happen, he's able to take care of

1419
01:09:06,560 --> 01:09:10,080
Speaker 2: his wife, especially like in our situation, if your wife

1420
01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:12,439
Speaker 2: ever has to lose her independence or anything like that,

1421
01:09:12,640 --> 01:09:15,000
Speaker 2: I want you to be able to go above and

1422
01:09:15,120 --> 01:09:18,120
Speaker 2: beyond that and be able to be there for her,

1423
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:22,599
Speaker 2: not only emotionally but mentally and be able to hold

1424
01:09:22,720 --> 01:09:25,240
Speaker 2: up with that. So when I'm dealing with Addison, I'm

1425
01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:28,360
Speaker 2: more dealing with him on the nurturing side. Roy is

1426
01:09:28,400 --> 01:09:30,400
Speaker 2: gonna be daddy. He's gonna be daddy, and I let

1427
01:09:30,479 --> 01:09:32,640
Speaker 2: him be daddy. I let him be the man that

1428
01:09:32,840 --> 01:09:35,240
Speaker 2: he's supposed supposed to be when you're raising a son.

1429
01:09:35,439 --> 01:09:38,800
Speaker 2: But I want him to also be nurturing, emotional, being

1430
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:41,720
Speaker 2: able to open and have conversations with his wife, not

1431
01:09:41,800 --> 01:09:44,679
Speaker 2: being able to hide things. And that's one thing about Addison.

1432
01:09:44,720 --> 01:09:47,320
Speaker 2: He'll come and tell me anything. You'd be surprised with

1433
01:09:47,560 --> 01:09:50,040
Speaker 2: the stuff that Addison has shared with me, but I

1434
01:09:50,120 --> 01:09:52,840
Speaker 2: am so happy that he will share that with me,

1435
01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:55,480
Speaker 2: that he's that comfortable with sharing.

1436
01:09:55,479 --> 01:09:56,640
Speaker 4: And what's so great about that?

1437
01:09:57,080 --> 01:09:59,599
Speaker 3: And I'm telling you this as a man that if

1438
01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:02,519
Speaker 3: he can find safety talking to a woman, it makes

1439
01:10:02,560 --> 01:10:05,120
Speaker 3: them more emostly intelligent when he meets the woman he's

1440
01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:07,080
Speaker 3: supposed to share his life with, because he wouldn't be

1441
01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:09,000
Speaker 3: so guarded hitting right, I could talk to my mom

1442
01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:09,559
Speaker 3: about anything.

1443
01:10:09,560 --> 01:10:11,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk to it. He has six sisters.

1444
01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:12,960
Speaker 2: He has six sisters, so a lot of stuff that

1445
01:10:13,040 --> 01:10:15,719
Speaker 2: he doesn't share with me he would share with his sisters.

1446
01:10:15,800 --> 01:10:18,439
Speaker 1: So sometimes I'll say something, my daugh would be like, well, Mama.

1447
01:10:18,240 --> 01:10:20,800
Speaker 2: That ain't you receiving it? Are you're receiving it the

1448
01:10:20,840 --> 01:10:23,960
Speaker 2: wrong way? Did me tell you that's not how you're

1449
01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:26,080
Speaker 2: receiving it the wrong way? So I'm like, oh, okay,

1450
01:10:26,160 --> 01:10:28,320
Speaker 2: well tell me you know you no more so I'll

1451
01:10:28,360 --> 01:10:30,599
Speaker 2: know how to handle this situation when I sit down.

1452
01:10:30,640 --> 01:10:31,639
Speaker 1: So, yeah, that's good.

1453
01:10:32,520 --> 01:10:35,320
Speaker 4: We take vows through sickness and in health.

1454
01:10:35,520 --> 01:10:39,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, y'all had y'all were challenged with those vows on

1455
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:45,080
Speaker 3: both sides. When was your first challenge?

1456
01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:47,880
Speaker 4: What year? I know you say years are hard for you,

1457
01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:49,960
Speaker 4: but this ain't that longest.

1458
01:10:50,040 --> 01:10:51,439
Speaker 1: This was the years of the Year of three.

1459
01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:54,920
Speaker 2: I call it the year of three, twenty seventeen, eighteen,

1460
01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:59,240
Speaker 2: and nineteen. I'll say, going back twenty twelve, I started

1461
01:10:59,680 --> 01:11:02,519
Speaker 2: having some health issues. I was someone like when he

1462
01:11:02,920 --> 01:11:06,080
Speaker 2: met me. I was, you know, healthy, exercise and running,

1463
01:11:06,160 --> 01:11:09,160
Speaker 2: doing all the things. And one day I was on

1464
01:11:09,200 --> 01:11:11,800
Speaker 2: a treadmill and I started feeling fluttering in my chest

1465
01:11:12,040 --> 01:11:15,560
Speaker 2: that I never felt before. And so that started my

1466
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:20,479
Speaker 2: health journey. I went to a cardiologist. They diagnosed me

1467
01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:24,920
Speaker 2: with exercise induceterrhythmia, which basically means like when I'm exercising

1468
01:11:24,920 --> 01:11:28,400
Speaker 2: and my heart elevates, my blood pressure does too, causing

1469
01:11:28,479 --> 01:11:33,719
Speaker 2: this fluttering in my chest. But I went eight more years,

1470
01:11:33,760 --> 01:11:36,000
Speaker 2: so seven and a half more years being misdiagnosed with

1471
01:11:36,080 --> 01:11:39,919
Speaker 2: symptoms of shortness of breath, you know, nausea and vomiting,

1472
01:11:40,080 --> 01:11:42,479
Speaker 2: chest pain. I'm in and out of the hospital, going

1473
01:11:42,560 --> 01:11:44,600
Speaker 2: back and forth into the emergency room while he's with me.

1474
01:11:44,760 --> 01:11:46,880
Speaker 2: He's going back and forth, and we can't figure out

1475
01:11:46,880 --> 01:11:49,560
Speaker 2: what's going on because everybody is saying nothing is going on.

1476
01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:51,880
Speaker 2: It's stress, you know, it's all in her head. She's

1477
01:11:51,920 --> 01:11:54,240
Speaker 2: losing weight, she needs to lose weight. It's like all

1478
01:11:54,320 --> 01:11:57,519
Speaker 2: these things, and which was very stressful for both of

1479
01:11:57,600 --> 01:12:00,559
Speaker 2: us because we're both working individuals, you know, working. He's

1480
01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:03,320
Speaker 2: working and he's running back and forth to the hospital.

1481
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:09,360
Speaker 2: I'm missing work. And in two thousand and seventeen, we

1482
01:12:09,600 --> 01:12:12,080
Speaker 2: are going to make a donation out here and see

1483
01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:17,200
Speaker 2: the hill, and we're coming back from that delivery. I

1484
01:12:17,320 --> 01:12:20,360
Speaker 2: opened the truck door, as he said, and I just

1485
01:12:20,680 --> 01:12:22,680
Speaker 2: fall out, like I'm trying to get out, and I

1486
01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:24,000
Speaker 2: just fall out and hit the ground.

1487
01:12:25,240 --> 01:12:27,480
Speaker 1: He calls the ambulance.

1488
01:12:28,479 --> 01:12:31,160
Speaker 2: He caused the ambulance, and I'm wearing this, you know,

1489
01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:34,320
Speaker 2: this patch on my arm. And this was my first

1490
01:12:34,560 --> 01:12:40,880
Speaker 2: major misdiagnosis. I had a TIA that day, but they related.

1491
01:12:42,320 --> 01:12:42,639
Speaker 1: I can't.

1492
01:12:42,960 --> 01:12:48,320
Speaker 2: I don't start asking me to prown like a transit stroke.

1493
01:12:49,439 --> 01:12:52,840
Speaker 2: You asked me the other condition ABC. I got my

1494
01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:57,240
Speaker 2: cognitive distrificiency. So we had me twisting no words. I

1495
01:12:57,280 --> 01:13:01,040
Speaker 2: did say I had a stroke then missing. That's why

1496
01:13:01,040 --> 01:13:04,640
Speaker 2: I said that media training and said I can no

1497
01:13:04,720 --> 01:13:08,599
Speaker 2: longer answer any more questions without journey prison.

1498
01:13:10,640 --> 01:13:12,559
Speaker 1: But I'm my doctor, my doctor here to pronounce the words.

1499
01:13:13,040 --> 01:13:15,519
Speaker 4: I can't answer that, hippo, right.

1500
01:13:16,720 --> 01:13:18,360
Speaker 2: But yeah, it was a ti a mini stroke, and

1501
01:13:18,520 --> 01:13:22,960
Speaker 2: so I wasn't giving any medication. I just kind of

1502
01:13:23,120 --> 01:13:25,519
Speaker 2: was basically told that, hey, these are the justments that

1503
01:13:25,600 --> 01:13:27,240
Speaker 2: you need to make in your life. I was working

1504
01:13:27,280 --> 01:13:29,639
Speaker 2: for the I r S at the time. Anybody, anytime,

1505
01:13:29,680 --> 01:13:32,000
Speaker 2: anybody here, you work for the I r S. They

1506
01:13:32,040 --> 01:13:35,479
Speaker 2: automatically assume that you stress. No, I don't owe taxes.

1507
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:41,439
Speaker 2: I uphold the laws in order for me to work

1508
01:13:41,439 --> 01:13:44,479
Speaker 2: with the IRS, I don't. I can't test taxes, I

1509
01:13:44,560 --> 01:13:47,679
Speaker 2: have to pass a security clearance. I don't have no stress. Okay,

1510
01:13:48,280 --> 01:13:50,880
Speaker 2: but that's what people automatically assume, right, And so that

1511
01:13:51,040 --> 01:13:52,479
Speaker 2: was the first thing. The doctor said, you know, you

1512
01:13:52,560 --> 01:13:54,600
Speaker 2: need to quit your job. You need to find and

1513
01:13:54,720 --> 01:13:56,160
Speaker 2: I tried to do all the things. I tried to

1514
01:13:56,160 --> 01:14:00,320
Speaker 2: give reasonableccommodations, but there was nothing changing in my health

1515
01:14:00,520 --> 01:14:03,519
Speaker 2: outcomes by doing that. So the next thing, you know

1516
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:08,920
Speaker 2: about I think eight or nine months later, for about

1517
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:13,880
Speaker 2: two weeks, I'm extremely tired and I'm sluggish. I have nausea,

1518
01:14:13,960 --> 01:14:16,160
Speaker 2: I have shoulder pain. I think I'm coming down with

1519
01:14:16,280 --> 01:14:21,320
Speaker 2: the flu. He he had been going to he had been,

1520
01:14:21,479 --> 01:14:24,160
Speaker 2: you know, taking me back and forth to the hospital.

1521
01:14:24,680 --> 01:14:27,000
Speaker 2: And the day that I came home, I had come home.

1522
01:14:27,080 --> 01:14:29,280
Speaker 2: He you know, he you know, he retired from the

1523
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:32,720
Speaker 2: Federal Aviation Administration, and so he has this type of

1524
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:36,720
Speaker 2: schedule where when he goes to work, it's not like,

1525
01:14:36,880 --> 01:14:38,839
Speaker 2: you know, if something happens to me, he can automatic.

1526
01:14:38,880 --> 01:14:40,560
Speaker 2: It's almost like an air traffic control, you know, you

1527
01:14:40,640 --> 01:14:42,639
Speaker 2: can't just walk away and they're playing in the sky.

1528
01:14:42,760 --> 01:14:44,600
Speaker 1: So he has that type of job. And so he

1529
01:14:45,240 --> 01:14:46,280
Speaker 1: was like, Hey, do you need me to take you

1530
01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:47,800
Speaker 1: to the emergency room? Do you want to go? How

1531
01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:48,240
Speaker 1: are you feeling?

1532
01:14:48,280 --> 01:14:50,040
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I'm good, and he's like, well,

1533
01:14:50,080 --> 01:14:53,519
Speaker 2: you know, if I go to work, I can't leave immediately.

1534
01:14:53,640 --> 01:14:55,479
Speaker 1: And so I was absolutely okay with that.

1535
01:14:55,640 --> 01:14:58,400
Speaker 2: My daughter, my oldest daughter, my oldest daughter, was actually

1536
01:14:58,439 --> 01:15:01,640
Speaker 2: upstairs from college. And so he went ahead and went

1537
01:15:01,680 --> 01:15:04,400
Speaker 2: to work. And I had come home early that day

1538
01:15:05,120 --> 01:15:06,400
Speaker 2: and I was working on my computer. I was in

1539
01:15:06,479 --> 01:15:10,120
Speaker 2: office finishing case files, and so I would call him,

1540
01:15:10,160 --> 01:15:10,800
Speaker 2: my soulmate.

1541
01:15:11,400 --> 01:15:13,559
Speaker 1: He was on his way. He had gotten to work,

1542
01:15:14,200 --> 01:15:16,320
Speaker 1: and he had text me. He had called.

1543
01:15:16,320 --> 01:15:18,120
Speaker 2: I didn't answer because I was on the phone with somebody.

1544
01:15:18,640 --> 01:15:20,160
Speaker 2: And then he texted me he said, are you okay?

1545
01:15:20,640 --> 01:15:22,439
Speaker 2: And I said, I'm fine. I'm still feeling the same,

1546
01:15:22,479 --> 01:15:25,080
Speaker 2: but if I if I feel bad, I'll go to

1547
01:15:25,160 --> 01:15:28,080
Speaker 2: the hospital. And in that moment, he called my daughter.

1548
01:15:28,439 --> 01:15:30,479
Speaker 2: He called my daughter and he said, I need you

1549
01:15:30,560 --> 01:15:32,599
Speaker 2: to take your mama to the hospital.

1550
01:15:32,760 --> 01:15:38,080
Speaker 5: So Roy, what happened? So she said, she's fine. What

1551
01:15:38,120 --> 01:15:40,480
Speaker 5: would make you overreact?

1552
01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:42,840
Speaker 3: Quote unquote of course we know it spiritual discernment, But

1553
01:15:42,880 --> 01:15:44,640
Speaker 3: I'm saying, what would make you overreact like that?

1554
01:15:45,320 --> 01:15:51,439
Speaker 5: So you remember an hour earlier when she said, I

1555
01:15:51,640 --> 01:15:53,639
Speaker 5: like to go against the green and do stuff my way.

1556
01:15:55,479 --> 01:15:59,400
Speaker 5: So that's basically that's a hard head. Yeah, yeah, So

1557
01:16:00,120 --> 01:16:03,240
Speaker 5: she had gotten to the point so when she's saying,

1558
01:16:03,280 --> 01:16:05,880
Speaker 5: we're going back and forth to the hospital, like we're

1559
01:16:05,920 --> 01:16:09,719
Speaker 5: going were going to the hospital a couple of times

1560
01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:13,680
Speaker 5: a month. It ain't just your random you know me

1561
01:16:13,800 --> 01:16:16,880
Speaker 5: in particular, I went to the hospital once every four

1562
01:16:17,000 --> 01:16:19,439
Speaker 5: five years, you know what I mean the average person,

1563
01:16:20,200 --> 01:16:22,519
Speaker 5: you know, we going to the hospital a couple of

1564
01:16:22,600 --> 01:16:23,120
Speaker 5: times a.

1565
01:16:23,240 --> 01:16:25,040
Speaker 4: Month for something.

1566
01:16:25,920 --> 01:16:28,479
Speaker 5: So you get to the point where you just you

1567
01:16:28,600 --> 01:16:32,679
Speaker 5: recognize the signs, you know what's happening. And then having

1568
01:16:33,640 --> 01:16:36,240
Speaker 5: her to go so much, and you know, you sitting

1569
01:16:36,240 --> 01:16:38,320
Speaker 5: in the murgency room and you ain't get no help really,

1570
01:16:38,400 --> 01:16:40,600
Speaker 5: people poking a prod and know you sticking needles and

1571
01:16:40,640 --> 01:16:42,479
Speaker 5: your ivs and all that you know, well, you get

1572
01:16:42,479 --> 01:16:45,000
Speaker 5: to the point where you don't want to go, you know,

1573
01:16:45,120 --> 01:16:47,000
Speaker 5: you just I'd just rather sit here and be in pain,

1574
01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:50,120
Speaker 5: and you don't want to go. But just remember she'd

1575
01:16:50,160 --> 01:16:53,200
Speaker 5: had that tia not too not too long ago. So

1576
01:16:53,560 --> 01:16:56,200
Speaker 5: it's gotten to the point now where it's a little

1577
01:16:56,240 --> 01:16:58,920
Speaker 5: bit more serious. It was serious before, but it's a

1578
01:16:58,960 --> 01:17:02,479
Speaker 5: little bit more serious. But you just have to be

1579
01:17:02,560 --> 01:17:06,679
Speaker 5: able to read because normally when I go to work,

1580
01:17:07,080 --> 01:17:10,160
Speaker 5: I don't call back right away and be like, so

1581
01:17:10,520 --> 01:17:13,160
Speaker 5: you know you're calling twy. It's the same as the

1582
01:17:13,800 --> 01:17:16,800
Speaker 5: I Love you. You're throwing it out there because you

1583
01:17:16,880 --> 01:17:19,600
Speaker 5: want to see you won't get that response, and that

1584
01:17:19,720 --> 01:17:22,160
Speaker 5: response is gonna tell you what your next play is.

1585
01:17:23,120 --> 01:17:25,479
Speaker 5: And so I knew my next play was like, Okay,

1586
01:17:25,640 --> 01:17:28,000
Speaker 5: let me get out the phone with you call your daughter.

1587
01:17:29,240 --> 01:17:31,640
Speaker 5: Go ahead and take mama to the hospital, because she

1588
01:17:31,720 --> 01:17:33,120
Speaker 5: ain't gonna she ain't gonna tell me.

1589
01:17:33,320 --> 01:17:36,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, you just you just know your partner, so your

1590
01:17:36,080 --> 01:17:37,320
Speaker 4: soulmate what happened.

1591
01:17:37,439 --> 01:17:40,120
Speaker 2: So so basically he told my daughter, and my daughter

1592
01:17:40,760 --> 01:17:42,800
Speaker 2: was under the assumption that I knew that I was

1593
01:17:42,800 --> 01:17:44,320
Speaker 2: supposed to go to the doctor. So she thought the

1594
01:17:44,360 --> 01:17:46,439
Speaker 2: conversation had been had between us that I was going

1595
01:17:46,520 --> 01:17:49,760
Speaker 2: to the hospital. So when she came in, I was

1596
01:17:49,760 --> 01:17:51,760
Speaker 2: still at the desk typing, and so she opened the

1597
01:17:51,800 --> 01:17:54,000
Speaker 2: door and she said, Mama, are you ready? And I

1598
01:17:54,120 --> 01:17:56,800
Speaker 2: was like, what you mean ready? And she's like and

1599
01:17:56,960 --> 01:18:00,200
Speaker 2: the minute before she said to tell me what she

1600
01:18:00,320 --> 01:18:02,599
Speaker 2: was going to tell me, I got a sharp pain

1601
01:18:02,680 --> 01:18:06,120
Speaker 2: that went right down by jaw, down the left side

1602
01:18:06,360 --> 01:18:09,519
Speaker 2: of my shoulder, and so I was like, I was like, okay,

1603
01:18:09,680 --> 01:18:11,240
Speaker 2: like what are we doing? And she was like, I'm

1604
01:18:11,240 --> 01:18:13,599
Speaker 2: gonna take you to the hospital. And I just got

1605
01:18:13,680 --> 01:18:16,120
Speaker 2: up and followed her and got in the car. And

1606
01:18:16,200 --> 01:18:18,360
Speaker 2: so as we were going, the hospital wasn't that far away,

1607
01:18:18,600 --> 01:18:22,800
Speaker 2: you know, maybe about eight eight minutes we are.

1608
01:18:23,400 --> 01:18:25,160
Speaker 1: We're in the car and I start feeling this like

1609
01:18:25,560 --> 01:18:26,240
Speaker 1: light pressure.

1610
01:18:26,320 --> 01:18:28,320
Speaker 2: Now it doesn't hurt, it's just like a light, like

1611
01:18:28,439 --> 01:18:30,960
Speaker 2: a light little pain that's just coming for a few seconds,

1612
01:18:30,960 --> 01:18:31,879
Speaker 2: and it's going away.

1613
01:18:31,760 --> 01:18:32,439
Speaker 1: The entire way.

1614
01:18:33,160 --> 01:18:35,360
Speaker 2: So when we get to the hospital, she said, do

1615
01:18:35,400 --> 01:18:36,519
Speaker 2: you want me to park or do you want me

1616
01:18:36,520 --> 01:18:38,160
Speaker 2: to drop you off in the front? And I say, oh,

1617
01:18:38,160 --> 01:18:40,240
Speaker 2: you drop me off in the front. And so when

1618
01:18:40,280 --> 01:18:43,080
Speaker 2: I get out, I start before I even get through

1619
01:18:43,080 --> 01:18:45,400
Speaker 2: the door. I'm like, I start vomiting on myself. And

1620
01:18:45,479 --> 01:18:47,479
Speaker 2: this is where you learn your body is basically, this

1621
01:18:47,600 --> 01:18:49,760
Speaker 2: is the last this is the last resort. This is

1622
01:18:49,800 --> 01:18:51,840
Speaker 2: by your body is telling you it's getting ready to

1623
01:18:51,840 --> 01:18:55,040
Speaker 2: shut down. And so I started vomiting. What's so interesting?

1624
01:18:55,120 --> 01:18:58,600
Speaker 2: I came in and this is just really key and

1625
01:18:58,680 --> 01:19:01,120
Speaker 2: when you're going to the doctor and telling them what's

1626
01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:03,920
Speaker 2: wrong with you. Because this two weeks that I was sick,

1627
01:19:04,560 --> 01:19:06,800
Speaker 2: I was thinking I was coming down with flu. I

1628
01:19:06,880 --> 01:19:09,160
Speaker 2: was coming down with the flu. So I kept telling myself, Oh,

1629
01:19:09,200 --> 01:19:10,960
Speaker 2: I'm coming down with the flu. I'm coming down with something.

1630
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:13,200
Speaker 2: So when I went there and they signed me in,

1631
01:19:13,320 --> 01:19:15,680
Speaker 2: they said, what is what's going on? I said, I'm

1632
01:19:15,760 --> 01:19:18,320
Speaker 2: having chest pain, but I think I'm coming down with

1633
01:19:18,360 --> 01:19:20,200
Speaker 2: the flu. I think I have a flu. So that's

1634
01:19:20,240 --> 01:19:21,800
Speaker 2: what the doctors are going to you know, they write

1635
01:19:21,840 --> 01:19:24,200
Speaker 2: down flu like symptoms. So when they take me back,

1636
01:19:24,320 --> 01:19:26,240
Speaker 2: they do it EKG immediately because I do have the

1637
01:19:26,320 --> 01:19:30,840
Speaker 2: chest pain, but the Ekg's not detecting any you know,

1638
01:19:30,960 --> 01:19:31,760
Speaker 2: issues with my heart.

1639
01:19:31,800 --> 01:19:33,479
Speaker 1: So they put a bristband on me and they put

1640
01:19:33,560 --> 01:19:34,479
Speaker 1: me back in the waiting room.

1641
01:19:34,920 --> 01:19:36,880
Speaker 2: So by this time, my daughter's sitting next to me,

1642
01:19:37,560 --> 01:19:40,680
Speaker 2: and I'm kind of like leaning and then all of

1643
01:19:40,680 --> 01:19:43,360
Speaker 2: a sudden, I felt like this tight pressure, like it

1644
01:19:43,439 --> 01:19:45,080
Speaker 2: just felt like somebody was stepping, like I was down

1645
01:19:45,120 --> 01:19:47,000
Speaker 2: on the ground and somebody was just holding me down.

1646
01:19:47,680 --> 01:19:50,320
Speaker 2: And I said, I feel like somebody's stepping on my chest.

1647
01:19:51,200 --> 01:19:53,800
Speaker 2: And the triage nurse heard me say that, and so

1648
01:19:53,960 --> 01:19:55,639
Speaker 2: she came and she said, what is going on. I said,

1649
01:19:55,640 --> 01:19:57,800
Speaker 2: I feel like there's like somebody stepping on my chest.

1650
01:19:58,160 --> 01:20:01,360
Speaker 2: And so they immediately they immediately took me back. I

1651
01:20:01,400 --> 01:20:04,120
Speaker 2: remember they you know, they gave me a Bata blocker,

1652
01:20:04,120 --> 01:20:05,680
Speaker 2: they gave me a shot, They you know, gave me

1653
01:20:05,760 --> 01:20:07,560
Speaker 2: the nitrate. They did all these things. But I, in

1654
01:20:07,680 --> 01:20:10,760
Speaker 2: my mind don't have any inclination of what's going on.

1655
01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:13,280
Speaker 2: Like I'm just like, okay, you know, they're giving me back.

1656
01:20:13,280 --> 01:20:15,080
Speaker 2: I got, you know, chest paint, and I started. I

1657
01:20:15,200 --> 01:20:17,599
Speaker 2: was having this condition called flurisy, so it's like an

1658
01:20:17,600 --> 01:20:19,000
Speaker 2: infection of the lung So a lot of times I

1659
01:20:19,080 --> 01:20:20,559
Speaker 2: was going to the doctor, they say, you have infection

1660
01:20:20,680 --> 01:20:21,120
Speaker 2: of lungs.

1661
01:20:21,160 --> 01:20:22,920
Speaker 1: So I kind of thought that's what was going on.

1662
01:20:23,920 --> 01:20:26,040
Speaker 1: And so they get me back and they take them up.

1663
01:20:26,080 --> 01:20:28,160
Speaker 2: They put you know, you know, take blood, and they

1664
01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:30,720
Speaker 2: put me blood pressure cuff up and hooked me up,

1665
01:20:31,400 --> 01:20:35,240
Speaker 2: and my daughter notices that the blood the heart manager starts,

1666
01:20:35,280 --> 01:20:37,960
Speaker 2: my heart starts just going high, really fast, and so

1667
01:20:38,080 --> 01:20:40,680
Speaker 2: my daughter was like, oh my god. And she's like,

1668
01:20:40,720 --> 01:20:42,400
Speaker 2: oh my god, Mama, your heart rate calmed down because

1669
01:20:42,400 --> 01:20:44,280
Speaker 2: I'm like pain, like what's going on, you know, I'm

1670
01:20:44,520 --> 01:20:48,519
Speaker 2: just doing all the things. And by the time the

1671
01:20:48,640 --> 01:20:51,000
Speaker 2: nurse got back, my heart rate had went back down.

1672
01:20:51,160 --> 01:20:53,599
Speaker 2: And so my daughter had described what had just happened,

1673
01:20:53,680 --> 01:20:55,360
Speaker 2: and so the nurse said, well, we just gave her

1674
01:20:55,400 --> 01:20:58,120
Speaker 2: some medication that could probably do that, and she's a

1675
01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:00,519
Speaker 2: little anxious, so that's probably why the heart heart monitor

1676
01:21:00,560 --> 01:21:03,080
Speaker 2: went like the heart rate went up like that. And

1677
01:21:03,280 --> 01:21:06,439
Speaker 2: so the er doctor comes in and at this time

1678
01:21:06,720 --> 01:21:09,960
Speaker 2: he's very jovial, he's smiling, he's talking to me, he's

1679
01:21:10,000 --> 01:21:10,840
Speaker 2: having a conversation.

1680
01:21:11,080 --> 01:21:12,599
Speaker 1: He's like, you know, we just did your blood work.

1681
01:21:13,720 --> 01:21:17,320
Speaker 2: He said, uh, once we get the blood work, you know, back,

1682
01:21:17,400 --> 01:21:20,439
Speaker 2: we do some X rays, we'll determine, you know, what's

1683
01:21:20,479 --> 01:21:22,240
Speaker 2: going on. So I never got to the point where

1684
01:21:22,240 --> 01:21:25,200
Speaker 2: I got to my to my X rays. So maybe

1685
01:21:25,240 --> 01:21:29,519
Speaker 2: about twenty five minutes later, that doctor comes back and

1686
01:21:29,920 --> 01:21:32,760
Speaker 2: he's in a different move. Now he's in a total

1687
01:21:32,800 --> 01:21:36,000
Speaker 2: different move. He's quiet, he's coming, he's listening to me.

1688
01:21:36,880 --> 01:21:39,160
Speaker 2: But this time he's got another doctor with him. And

1689
01:21:39,400 --> 01:21:42,680
Speaker 2: on his shirt it says vascular. So I'm thinking like, oh,

1690
01:21:42,840 --> 01:21:44,920
Speaker 2: he's in training. He's getting ready to learn something today.

1691
01:21:44,960 --> 01:21:46,240
Speaker 2: This is a training opportunity.

1692
01:21:47,320 --> 01:21:51,160
Speaker 1: And he said, he said miss He said uh, he said,

1693
01:21:51,400 --> 01:21:55,439
Speaker 1: he said, miss, Miss Williams. Can I ask you a question?

1694
01:21:56,200 --> 01:21:58,880
Speaker 1: I said sure. He said, uh, what took you so

1695
01:21:59,040 --> 01:22:01,640
Speaker 1: long to come here today? And I was like, what

1696
01:22:01,720 --> 01:22:02,080
Speaker 1: do you mean?

1697
01:22:02,160 --> 01:22:04,040
Speaker 2: He said, well, you said you've been having these symptoms

1698
01:22:04,040 --> 01:22:06,640
Speaker 2: for two weeks. What took you so long to come

1699
01:22:06,680 --> 01:22:08,240
Speaker 2: here today? I said, Well, every time I come before,

1700
01:22:08,320 --> 01:22:10,479
Speaker 2: y'all always send me home and y'all tell me nothing's wrong,

1701
01:22:10,520 --> 01:22:11,800
Speaker 2: and so I like it as a cope, so I

1702
01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:14,280
Speaker 2: didn't feel like paying a cope today. He said, well,

1703
01:22:14,280 --> 01:22:15,920
Speaker 2: when I tell you this, I want you to calm down.

1704
01:22:16,880 --> 01:22:19,439
Speaker 2: He says, you're having you're having a heart attack, You're

1705
01:22:19,439 --> 01:22:21,160
Speaker 2: having a mina car he says that herd. He didn't

1706
01:22:21,160 --> 01:22:23,960
Speaker 2: say heart attake seven. You're having a MITO cardial infraction.

1707
01:22:24,760 --> 01:22:27,080
Speaker 1: And I was like, what is that. He's like, yeah,

1708
01:22:27,400 --> 01:22:28,360
Speaker 1: you're having a heart attack.

1709
01:22:29,160 --> 01:22:32,320
Speaker 2: And it was probably one of the scariest moments in

1710
01:22:32,360 --> 01:22:36,320
Speaker 2: my life because my daughter was right there and all

1711
01:22:36,360 --> 01:22:39,240
Speaker 2: I could think is like, I told y'all something is

1712
01:22:39,280 --> 01:22:41,719
Speaker 2: wrong with me. And now because you're her heart attack,

1713
01:22:41,760 --> 01:22:43,519
Speaker 2: all I thought was death. I was like, I'm getting

1714
01:22:43,520 --> 01:22:46,360
Speaker 2: ready to die, that's what this means. And my daughter

1715
01:22:46,479 --> 01:22:47,720
Speaker 2: was just I looked at my daughter and she was

1716
01:22:47,760 --> 01:22:51,519
Speaker 2: just you know, she was just crying. And he called

1717
01:22:52,040 --> 01:22:54,360
Speaker 2: right like it was just like clockwork. He called, and

1718
01:22:54,439 --> 01:22:57,280
Speaker 2: my daughter put him on a speakerphone, and he's thinking

1719
01:22:57,439 --> 01:22:59,200
Speaker 2: like it's one of these situations where it ain't none

1720
01:22:59,240 --> 01:23:01,320
Speaker 2: wrong with her. They to give us a prescription and

1721
01:23:01,360 --> 01:23:03,160
Speaker 2: send her home. And he said, first thing he says,

1722
01:23:03,160 --> 01:23:05,840
Speaker 2: because he calls me mama, he says, what's wrong with mama?

1723
01:23:06,439 --> 01:23:08,840
Speaker 2: But they said it was wrong with mama. And Naira said,

1724
01:23:10,760 --> 01:23:15,439
Speaker 2: they said it's her heart and he said, huh. And

1725
01:23:15,600 --> 01:23:18,519
Speaker 2: she said, they said, Mama is having a heart attack.

1726
01:23:19,160 --> 01:23:22,559
Speaker 2: And I remember like he didn't even say anything else,

1727
01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:26,559
Speaker 2: like it was like nothing else. And I remember, jokingly,

1728
01:23:26,560 --> 01:23:28,880
Speaker 2: because I'm joking, I said, so I get to stay

1729
01:23:28,920 --> 01:23:31,679
Speaker 2: this time, and the doctor said, yeah, you're not going home,

1730
01:23:34,920 --> 01:23:35,600
Speaker 2: y'all keeping me.

1731
01:23:35,840 --> 01:23:39,360
Speaker 1: I get some breakfast in the morning. The little juice

1732
01:23:39,400 --> 01:23:44,320
Speaker 1: and the little little the little ice with the ice slushy.

1733
01:23:44,360 --> 01:23:45,120
Speaker 1: It's a little slushy.

1734
01:23:47,240 --> 01:23:47,519
Speaker 5: Thank you.

1735
01:23:47,880 --> 01:23:49,920
Speaker 4: What did you think Roy? Hearing that and you you

1736
01:23:50,120 --> 01:23:51,000
Speaker 4: miles away.

1737
01:23:54,600 --> 01:24:00,960
Speaker 5: You know it was it was actually one of those

1738
01:24:02,520 --> 01:24:05,120
Speaker 5: kind of like it was like one of those man

1739
01:24:05,200 --> 01:24:08,720
Speaker 5: I knew it. I knew they been, you know what

1740
01:24:08,760 --> 01:24:10,439
Speaker 5: I mean. It was one of them, one of them

1741
01:24:10,479 --> 01:24:15,080
Speaker 5: reckoning moments, so to speak, because it was, you know,

1742
01:24:15,160 --> 01:24:17,000
Speaker 5: she's in the hospital, so she's gonna get her care,

1743
01:24:17,439 --> 01:24:19,040
Speaker 5: so she's in the best place to be.

1744
01:24:20,000 --> 01:24:23,080
Speaker 1: But in your mind, you're like, man, these man playing

1745
01:24:23,240 --> 01:24:24,000
Speaker 1: my wife love it.

1746
01:24:24,360 --> 01:24:28,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, I knew they been, you know, so you kind

1747
01:24:28,400 --> 01:24:33,120
Speaker 5: of feel, you know, because you start to doubt yourself

1748
01:24:33,800 --> 01:24:36,160
Speaker 5: and even me at times, I'll be looking at like,

1749
01:24:37,080 --> 01:24:39,000
Speaker 5: we gotta go back to the hospital, you know after

1750
01:24:39,120 --> 01:24:41,559
Speaker 5: you know, like she said, like we gotta go pay

1751
01:24:41,600 --> 01:24:44,320
Speaker 5: this cope for them to say nothing, you know, and

1752
01:24:45,360 --> 01:24:45,799
Speaker 5: right we're.

1753
01:24:45,640 --> 01:24:47,920
Speaker 3: Gon, We're gonna get to you real quick because I

1754
01:24:48,240 --> 01:24:51,200
Speaker 3: want to unpack that real quick. So that was in

1755
01:24:51,320 --> 01:24:54,439
Speaker 3: twenty seventeen for you. That was twenty eighteen, twenty eighteen,

1756
01:24:54,800 --> 01:24:57,560
Speaker 3: and you said in threes a second time. That was

1757
01:24:57,600 --> 01:25:01,040
Speaker 3: the second second incident, and then last incident was what

1758
01:25:01,360 --> 01:25:02,080
Speaker 3: that was the stroke?

1759
01:25:02,200 --> 01:25:05,040
Speaker 1: That was that was the stroke, and you.

1760
01:25:05,080 --> 01:25:07,960
Speaker 4: Actually had a stroke at home, at work, at.

1761
01:25:07,920 --> 01:25:09,519
Speaker 1: Work, at work, at work, at work.

1762
01:25:10,000 --> 01:25:12,920
Speaker 2: And what was really interesting about that is that I

1763
01:25:13,040 --> 01:25:15,120
Speaker 2: had just been in I was just in ICU two

1764
01:25:15,160 --> 01:25:20,240
Speaker 2: weeks before that getting an antiogram, right, and in that

1765
01:25:22,720 --> 01:25:25,680
Speaker 2: during that situation, they did an antiogram and they had

1766
01:25:25,760 --> 01:25:28,920
Speaker 2: told me that really wasn't anything major with my heart.

1767
01:25:28,960 --> 01:25:30,599
Speaker 2: It was just like a few like a leaky val

1768
01:25:30,720 --> 01:25:33,479
Speaker 2: but it wasn't anything that would be life threatening. And

1769
01:25:33,760 --> 01:25:36,720
Speaker 2: this is like one of the first outside of him

1770
01:25:36,760 --> 01:25:39,720
Speaker 2: advocating with me. This is the first time that I

1771
01:25:39,800 --> 01:25:43,519
Speaker 2: actually seen him advocate for me with the doctors, because

1772
01:25:43,520 --> 01:25:44,920
Speaker 2: a lot of times we just in an emergency room.

1773
01:25:44,920 --> 01:25:47,760
Speaker 1: We listened to the doctors. That's what the doctor said, and.

1774
01:25:47,880 --> 01:25:50,840
Speaker 2: I remember they were like, Okay, we're gonna go ahead

1775
01:25:50,840 --> 01:25:55,080
Speaker 2: and discharge her. Well, discharge her tomorrow. And he was like, no,

1776
01:25:55,240 --> 01:25:59,040
Speaker 2: you will not, you will not discharge her. He was like,

1777
01:25:59,800 --> 01:26:02,040
Speaker 2: I need to know what's wrong with my wife. Her

1778
01:26:02,080 --> 01:26:04,559
Speaker 2: blood pressure is here, we're sitting here, her blood pressure

1779
01:26:04,600 --> 01:26:06,720
Speaker 2: is high. It was to the point where I thought

1780
01:26:06,760 --> 01:26:08,160
Speaker 2: that they were going to call the police on him.

1781
01:26:08,600 --> 01:26:10,760
Speaker 4: He was discharge you well.

1782
01:26:11,720 --> 01:26:14,840
Speaker 2: After the anagram, after the cardio anagram, they were saying

1783
01:26:14,880 --> 01:26:16,360
Speaker 2: that there was really because they were really trying to

1784
01:26:16,439 --> 01:26:18,160
Speaker 2: check to see if there was anything major going on

1785
01:26:18,240 --> 01:26:20,160
Speaker 2: with my heart because I didn't have any heart damage

1786
01:26:20,200 --> 01:26:22,759
Speaker 2: after the heart attack. So this is this is about

1787
01:26:23,800 --> 01:26:26,639
Speaker 2: eight maybe seven months later after my heart attack. Seven

1788
01:26:26,680 --> 01:26:29,200
Speaker 2: about seven months, and I'm still having different issues. So

1789
01:26:29,240 --> 01:26:31,240
Speaker 2: I'm still coming to different having different issues. And then

1790
01:26:31,439 --> 01:26:33,479
Speaker 2: that's when they finally discovered that I had a heart murmur.

1791
01:26:33,720 --> 01:26:35,599
Speaker 2: But there were still these things that they were saying

1792
01:26:35,680 --> 01:26:37,400
Speaker 2: that are not life threatening.

1793
01:26:37,600 --> 01:26:37,880
Speaker 4: Let you go.

1794
01:26:38,360 --> 01:26:40,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're not life threating all this, So they were

1795
01:26:41,000 --> 01:26:44,839
Speaker 2: saying it's not life threatening. So he's like, he's arguing,

1796
01:26:44,920 --> 01:26:46,479
Speaker 2: he's talking to the doctor. He's like, you need to,

1797
01:26:46,640 --> 01:26:49,320
Speaker 2: you know, check her her her grandpa has lupis, you

1798
01:26:49,400 --> 01:26:51,320
Speaker 2: know her, you know she got MS. Can you check

1799
01:26:51,400 --> 01:26:53,639
Speaker 2: for something, y'all? Just please do not let my wife

1800
01:26:53,680 --> 01:26:57,439
Speaker 2: go home. And so it was divine intervention because while

1801
01:26:57,520 --> 01:27:00,439
Speaker 2: he was having that conversation, my phone started went off.

1802
01:27:00,760 --> 01:27:02,640
Speaker 2: And I got the phone and it's my cousin, my

1803
01:27:02,680 --> 01:27:05,400
Speaker 2: first cousin, Yolanda, and she said, hey, your dad told

1804
01:27:05,400 --> 01:27:06,720
Speaker 2: me that you've been in and out in the hot

1805
01:27:06,840 --> 01:27:08,960
Speaker 2: and in and out of the hospital and you're having

1806
01:27:09,000 --> 01:27:11,920
Speaker 2: some cardiac issues. And she said, let me tell you something.

1807
01:27:12,000 --> 01:27:14,920
Speaker 2: She said it was it wasn't a cardiologist that found

1808
01:27:14,920 --> 01:27:17,560
Speaker 2: out what was going on with me. It was a pominologist.

1809
01:27:18,160 --> 01:27:20,200
Speaker 2: So maybe if you asked your doctor to send you

1810
01:27:20,280 --> 01:27:22,840
Speaker 2: to a pomonologist, maybe they can find something.

1811
01:27:24,120 --> 01:27:26,439
Speaker 1: And so I immediately gave the phone. I said, hey,

1812
01:27:26,520 --> 01:27:28,160
Speaker 1: I gave the phone to the doctor. He read it.

1813
01:27:28,800 --> 01:27:30,920
Speaker 2: They ended up keeping me two more days, so he

1814
01:27:31,000 --> 01:27:34,600
Speaker 2: has a pomadologist come down. A pominologist comes checks me.

1815
01:27:35,040 --> 01:27:36,679
Speaker 2: Now this time, I'm you know, I'm a little overweight.

1816
01:27:37,439 --> 01:27:39,240
Speaker 2: You know, I'm snoring. So they're like, oh, she might

1817
01:27:39,320 --> 01:27:42,000
Speaker 2: have sleep abney, all these things. So he's like, we're

1818
01:27:42,040 --> 01:27:44,160
Speaker 2: gonna come you know, everything looks good. They told me

1819
01:27:44,200 --> 01:27:47,400
Speaker 2: I had like two conditions that were very like I said,

1820
01:27:47,439 --> 01:27:48,479
Speaker 2: they're not life threatening.

1821
01:27:48,600 --> 01:27:50,040
Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, But in my.

1822
01:27:50,040 --> 01:27:52,400
Speaker 2: Mind, I'm like, if I got two conditions in my heart,

1823
01:27:52,800 --> 01:27:55,120
Speaker 2: it just seems like my heart is working really hard,

1824
01:27:55,160 --> 01:27:57,439
Speaker 2: but I trust the doctor, right, this is doctor. So

1825
01:27:58,080 --> 01:28:01,080
Speaker 2: this two weeks later, maybe a week and a half.

1826
01:28:01,120 --> 01:28:03,479
Speaker 2: Two weeks later, I go to this pomonologist, come in.

1827
01:28:04,360 --> 01:28:07,400
Speaker 2: He has me, you know, breathe through a tube, and

1828
01:28:07,439 --> 01:28:09,240
Speaker 2: they're like, oh, I think you have asthma. So this

1829
01:28:09,280 --> 01:28:10,560
Speaker 2: is the first thing you think you have asthma. And

1830
01:28:10,560 --> 01:28:13,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, nobody's ever told me I have asthma.

1831
01:28:13,240 --> 01:28:16,400
Speaker 2: But you know, I got two kids that have you know,

1832
01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:18,200
Speaker 2: you know I had two kids who were on a heavulier,

1833
01:28:18,280 --> 01:28:20,760
Speaker 2: so that's possible. Maybe, you know, I've just been misdiagnosed

1834
01:28:20,800 --> 01:28:21,280
Speaker 2: all this time.

1835
01:28:22,479 --> 01:28:25,160
Speaker 1: So they come in. The doctor who was at the

1836
01:28:25,640 --> 01:28:28,400
Speaker 1: I see you the pominology. He comes in and he's like,

1837
01:28:28,439 --> 01:28:29,519
Speaker 1: you know, everything look good.

1838
01:28:29,640 --> 01:28:31,400
Speaker 2: You know, we're gonna have you come in and do

1839
01:28:31,479 --> 01:28:34,439
Speaker 2: a sleep apnea test because we're worried about that. Uh.

1840
01:28:35,120 --> 01:28:37,560
Speaker 2: And he goes to start listening to me and check me.

1841
01:28:37,640 --> 01:28:39,960
Speaker 2: So he gets down to my legs and he says, oh,

1842
01:28:40,479 --> 01:28:41,679
Speaker 2: your legs are swollen.

1843
01:28:42,560 --> 01:28:44,240
Speaker 1: I said, what does this? I said, what does that mean?

1844
01:28:44,880 --> 01:28:46,479
Speaker 2: He said, well, it could be your heart and I

1845
01:28:46,560 --> 01:28:48,479
Speaker 2: immediately said, well, I thought you said that my heart.

1846
01:28:48,600 --> 01:28:51,720
Speaker 2: He said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I promise. He said, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1847
01:28:51,760 --> 01:28:54,639
Speaker 2: I did say that. Let me give you some water,

1848
01:28:54,680 --> 01:28:56,480
Speaker 2: he said, we I'm gonna do is give you the prescription.

1849
01:28:56,520 --> 01:28:59,439
Speaker 2: I'm gonnaive you a prescription for some water pills. I'm

1850
01:28:59,439 --> 01:29:01,040
Speaker 2: gonn give you for scripture on water pills. And we'll

1851
01:29:01,080 --> 01:29:02,800
Speaker 2: see when you come back next Thursday and do your

1852
01:29:02,840 --> 01:29:06,680
Speaker 2: sleep test, will if the water has gone down on

1853
01:29:06,760 --> 01:29:10,920
Speaker 2: your legs. Monday was my follow up, so this was

1854
01:29:10,960 --> 01:29:13,560
Speaker 2: a Thursday. The next Monday was my follow up with

1855
01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:16,800
Speaker 2: the cardiologist. So I get with the cardiologists. He's saying

1856
01:29:16,840 --> 01:29:18,360
Speaker 2: the same thing. He's like, hey, you still got the

1857
01:29:18,400 --> 01:29:21,479
Speaker 2: exercise and do sarrhythmia. He says, but everything looks good.

1858
01:29:21,840 --> 01:29:24,080
Speaker 2: I said, I said, what are the two I mentioned

1859
01:29:24,120 --> 01:29:27,160
Speaker 2: the two conditions that he said? He said, where did

1860
01:29:27,200 --> 01:29:29,160
Speaker 2: you hear that from? I said, well, after you left,

1861
01:29:29,200 --> 01:29:32,559
Speaker 2: a pomonologist came and told me that, and he said, well,

1862
01:29:32,920 --> 01:29:34,760
Speaker 2: he explained what it was. He said, it wasn't life

1863
01:29:34,800 --> 01:29:36,840
Speaker 2: threatening like the pomologist said. He said, but we can

1864
01:29:37,040 --> 01:29:39,080
Speaker 2: do and not we can do an invasive or a

1865
01:29:39,120 --> 01:29:43,000
Speaker 2: non inbasiment, a non invasive treatment to prevent that. What

1866
01:29:43,080 --> 01:29:45,200
Speaker 2: you're feeling. That's probably that's why you're feeling that flutter

1867
01:29:45,280 --> 01:29:47,519
Speaker 2: in your chest. So I was like, okay, I'll do

1868
01:29:47,600 --> 01:29:49,600
Speaker 2: the non invasive. So he scheduled it.

1869
01:29:50,600 --> 01:29:51,120
Speaker 1: I went home.

1870
01:29:51,160 --> 01:29:53,080
Speaker 2: I was so excited. I was so excited. This is

1871
01:29:53,120 --> 01:29:56,240
Speaker 2: April the eighth. I was so excited. I went on Facebook.

1872
01:29:56,520 --> 01:29:59,519
Speaker 2: I see this post every April eighth. I said, hey, y'all,

1873
01:29:59,600 --> 01:30:02,479
Speaker 2: I'm so excited. I said, I want to meet everybody

1874
01:30:02,560 --> 01:30:06,080
Speaker 2: at the park at the park tomorrow at five and

1875
01:30:06,200 --> 01:30:09,439
Speaker 2: we can start my walking group. Right so everybody, all

1876
01:30:09,479 --> 01:30:12,200
Speaker 2: the girls who wasn't gonna do it, think they're gonna

1877
01:30:12,200 --> 01:30:12,360
Speaker 2: do it.

1878
01:30:12,479 --> 01:30:14,240
Speaker 1: They're all like, girl, we'll see you, we'll see you.

1879
01:30:15,240 --> 01:30:16,559
Speaker 5: So walk up.

1880
01:30:16,600 --> 01:30:19,360
Speaker 2: The next morning, I decided I was going to go

1881
01:30:19,400 --> 01:30:22,360
Speaker 2: to work. I wasn't gonna stay at home. Got all

1882
01:30:22,439 --> 01:30:22,920
Speaker 2: dressed up.

1883
01:30:23,000 --> 01:30:26,280
Speaker 1: He was going to the appraisal district to argue the taxes.

1884
01:30:27,000 --> 01:30:30,719
Speaker 1: And he was like, the free story.

1885
01:30:30,720 --> 01:30:32,960
Speaker 2: He's going down to argue argue the taxes. And we

1886
01:30:33,080 --> 01:30:34,880
Speaker 2: talked about what we're gonna do at the end of

1887
01:30:34,920 --> 01:30:36,639
Speaker 2: the weekend. He said that, you know, if he's still

1888
01:30:36,680 --> 01:30:40,200
Speaker 2: down there, we would go to lunch. I go to work,

1889
01:30:40,360 --> 01:30:43,080
Speaker 2: I go talk to my manager and office laughing. I'm

1890
01:30:43,200 --> 01:30:45,759
Speaker 2: joking about you know, now I can get my case files.

1891
01:30:45,800 --> 01:30:48,720
Speaker 2: And now I'm back in my back working. And my

1892
01:30:48,840 --> 01:30:51,040
Speaker 2: boss said that he heard me, you know, because I

1893
01:30:51,360 --> 01:30:52,680
Speaker 2: got a loud, obnoxious laugh.

1894
01:30:52,720 --> 01:30:55,040
Speaker 1: So I'm laughing. I'm just silly. I'm silly in office too,

1895
01:30:55,080 --> 01:30:55,599
Speaker 1: so I'm laughing.

1896
01:30:56,760 --> 01:30:58,800
Speaker 2: And he said that it sounded like I was laughing

1897
01:30:58,880 --> 01:31:02,240
Speaker 2: for about five minutes, and then he heard the laughing stop.

1898
01:31:02,760 --> 01:31:06,040
Speaker 2: And after he heard the laughing stop, he heard help help,

1899
01:31:06,120 --> 01:31:08,040
Speaker 2: and everybody thought it was miss Arleitha, because I miss

1900
01:31:08,160 --> 01:31:09,280
Speaker 2: Arleitha be falling out her chair.

1901
01:31:09,400 --> 01:31:11,160
Speaker 1: So so he said, when they were saying help help,

1902
01:31:11,439 --> 01:31:13,120
Speaker 1: they thought it was miss Arletha. So he said, you

1903
01:31:13,160 --> 01:31:16,080
Speaker 1: know he getting up. Yeah, so he said damn, like

1904
01:31:17,280 --> 01:31:18,479
Speaker 1: like pick houb.

1905
01:31:18,920 --> 01:31:23,720
Speaker 2: So so he walks over and that's when all my

1906
01:31:23,800 --> 01:31:27,280
Speaker 2: coworkers are standing around me and he sees me and

1907
01:31:27,360 --> 01:31:33,240
Speaker 2: I'm unconscious on the floor that quick, and then.

1908
01:31:33,160 --> 01:31:36,479
Speaker 1: He gets a call. My phone happens to be unlocked,

1909
01:31:37,560 --> 01:31:39,599
Speaker 1: and so he gets a call from my manager from

1910
01:31:39,640 --> 01:31:43,760
Speaker 1: my phone, and my manager says, hey, this is Joe

1911
01:31:43,800 --> 01:31:44,719
Speaker 1: when I'm with your wife.

1912
01:31:46,320 --> 01:31:47,960
Speaker 2: Now, what kind of call is that is? You gonna

1913
01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:50,320
Speaker 2: get so I don't know what he was thinking. On

1914
01:31:50,400 --> 01:31:55,640
Speaker 2: the other side, Are you the guy from from you?

1915
01:32:00,080 --> 01:32:01,639
Speaker 5: Where you at? Joe? Joe?

1916
01:32:02,360 --> 01:32:05,760
Speaker 2: That's when Joe proceeds because I don't like this is

1917
01:32:05,840 --> 01:32:07,880
Speaker 2: only I know the story as it was told.

1918
01:32:08,880 --> 01:32:11,400
Speaker 1: And then that's when he got the call. And yeah,

1919
01:32:11,439 --> 01:32:12,439
Speaker 1: he can pretty much take it.

1920
01:32:13,760 --> 01:32:17,920
Speaker 4: And so that one was the big issue, right, yeah, yeah,

1921
01:32:18,000 --> 01:32:19,400
Speaker 4: and how long were you in the hospital?

1922
01:32:20,160 --> 01:32:26,080
Speaker 2: So it gets real interested, right, So, so I get

1923
01:32:26,160 --> 01:32:30,519
Speaker 2: that they take me to the hospital and I'm not

1924
01:32:31,040 --> 01:32:34,880
Speaker 2: I'm not communicating, right, I'm not communicating, and he did

1925
01:32:34,960 --> 01:32:35,600
Speaker 2: not know if I was.

1926
01:32:35,640 --> 01:32:37,160
Speaker 1: They couldn't tell him if I was dead or alive.

1927
01:32:37,200 --> 01:32:38,160
Speaker 1: They couldn't tell him anything.

1928
01:32:38,280 --> 01:32:44,519
Speaker 5: So well, so when I first got there, they just

1929
01:32:44,600 --> 01:32:47,320
Speaker 5: told me she was going to Baylor. Yeah, damn, Lands

1930
01:32:47,400 --> 01:32:51,400
Speaker 5: was taking her to Baylor. And so when you when

1931
01:32:51,479 --> 01:32:56,519
Speaker 5: someone is unconscious, can't say who They don't know who

1932
01:32:56,600 --> 01:33:01,840
Speaker 5: she is, right, and so anybody just coming up there

1933
01:33:01,880 --> 01:33:04,000
Speaker 5: saying I'm so and so looking for so and so so, Well,

1934
01:33:05,000 --> 01:33:05,639
Speaker 5: we don't know who.

1935
01:33:05,600 --> 01:33:06,160
Speaker 4: So and so is.

1936
01:33:06,760 --> 01:33:08,360
Speaker 5: So they had to figure out first who she was

1937
01:33:09,240 --> 01:33:12,000
Speaker 5: because she left, she didn't left work. All the stuff

1938
01:33:12,040 --> 01:33:14,680
Speaker 5: at work you know, so she in an ambulance, they

1939
01:33:14,760 --> 01:33:17,479
Speaker 5: bring her. You know, it's a process at the hospital.

1940
01:33:18,040 --> 01:33:22,320
Speaker 5: So I eventually get back there. But the problem is

1941
01:33:22,400 --> 01:33:25,000
Speaker 5: that she doesn't know who I am. She didn't have

1942
01:33:25,040 --> 01:33:29,479
Speaker 5: a stroke, right, so she can't really communicate, you know,

1943
01:33:29,560 --> 01:33:32,519
Speaker 5: who I am was, So they're basically just taking my

1944
01:33:32,640 --> 01:33:33,040
Speaker 5: word on.

1945
01:33:33,120 --> 01:33:37,360
Speaker 4: Everything because wrapping to Joe, he couldn't tell Joe Joe

1946
01:33:37,439 --> 01:33:39,720
Speaker 4: at work, the manager, so.

1947
01:33:41,640 --> 01:33:44,360
Speaker 1: It was already tying to feel so, you know, they

1948
01:33:44,400 --> 01:33:45,519
Speaker 1: can we bring that that person.

1949
01:33:45,760 --> 01:33:46,080
Speaker 3: I want.

1950
01:33:47,560 --> 01:33:49,519
Speaker 1: That that's my dog, my boss, my dog.

1951
01:33:49,920 --> 01:33:53,519
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was it was just, you know, it was

1952
01:33:53,600 --> 01:33:54,120
Speaker 4: just chaos.

1953
01:33:55,200 --> 01:33:57,560
Speaker 2: So eventually what happened is that they told him that

1954
01:33:58,760 --> 01:34:01,160
Speaker 2: I had They thought that I had They thought I

1955
01:34:01,200 --> 01:34:03,320
Speaker 2: had a mess and that I had a seizure, and

1956
01:34:03,680 --> 01:34:08,200
Speaker 2: the delay and me not being able to communicate, me

1957
01:34:08,320 --> 01:34:10,719
Speaker 2: not being able to stand and walk was a result

1958
01:34:10,800 --> 01:34:11,400
Speaker 2: of the seizure.

1959
01:34:12,360 --> 01:34:13,960
Speaker 1: So they sent me home.

1960
01:34:15,280 --> 01:34:18,320
Speaker 2: I think after like eighteen or nineteen hours, they sent

1961
01:34:18,400 --> 01:34:21,240
Speaker 2: me home and he had to get me into bed

1962
01:34:21,360 --> 01:34:23,240
Speaker 2: and all these things. Well, I was under the care

1963
01:34:23,960 --> 01:34:27,360
Speaker 2: of a neurologist because I was already having issues at

1964
01:34:27,400 --> 01:34:29,720
Speaker 2: work that they were recognizing, and they were like hey,

1965
01:34:29,840 --> 01:34:31,840
Speaker 2: and my boss is like my advocate. So he's like, hey,

1966
01:34:32,000 --> 01:34:33,400
Speaker 2: I think you need to get just checked out. I

1967
01:34:33,520 --> 01:34:36,280
Speaker 2: just see some things going on that is not normal

1968
01:34:36,479 --> 01:34:45,400
Speaker 2: to you. And so he calls my neurologist and she's

1969
01:34:45,520 --> 01:34:47,519
Speaker 2: the bomb. So she's like, okay, go ahead and bring

1970
01:34:47,720 --> 01:34:49,120
Speaker 2: in you know, he said, you know, I just brought

1971
01:34:49,120 --> 01:34:50,920
Speaker 2: it from the emergency room. They said she had miss

1972
01:34:51,200 --> 01:34:52,800
Speaker 2: and so they brought me.

1973
01:34:53,160 --> 01:34:56,040
Speaker 1: They brought me. He brought me there. I don't remember,

1974
01:34:56,400 --> 01:34:57,280
Speaker 1: but he brought me there.

1975
01:34:57,520 --> 01:35:02,920
Speaker 2: And when doctor Angela seen me, she automatically knew that

1976
01:35:03,040 --> 01:35:06,959
Speaker 2: I had a stroke, and so immediately I went into.

1977
01:35:08,640 --> 01:35:09,240
Speaker 1: I went into.

1978
01:35:09,160 --> 01:35:12,760
Speaker 2: Rehabilitation and patient rehabilitation and was in that for the

1979
01:35:12,880 --> 01:35:18,200
Speaker 2: next almost two years, and more so because it affected

1980
01:35:18,240 --> 01:35:22,000
Speaker 2: me really bad cognitively. Yeah, it affected me really cognitively,

1981
01:35:22,040 --> 01:35:23,680
Speaker 2: and so there was like a lot of delay there

1982
01:35:25,240 --> 01:35:29,240
Speaker 2: and that retired me. It retired me. I never went back.

1983
01:35:29,280 --> 01:35:32,280
Speaker 2: I tried to because there was a time that I

1984
01:35:32,479 --> 01:35:34,640
Speaker 2: was so you know, it was my job. You know,

1985
01:35:34,680 --> 01:35:36,679
Speaker 2: I got my NBA. I did you know, I knew

1986
01:35:36,840 --> 01:35:38,519
Speaker 2: how I wanted my career and how I wanted my

1987
01:35:38,600 --> 01:35:41,200
Speaker 2: life to go. But God knew something more absolutely and

1988
01:35:42,040 --> 01:35:44,559
Speaker 2: and so there was a time where I had really

1989
01:35:44,640 --> 01:35:47,040
Speaker 2: convinced the doctors that I was okay, so I could

1990
01:35:47,080 --> 01:35:47,720
Speaker 2: go back to work.

1991
01:35:47,720 --> 01:35:49,240
Speaker 1: And even my manager was like, you know, you don't

1992
01:35:49,280 --> 01:35:49,519
Speaker 1: have to go.

1993
01:35:49,640 --> 01:35:52,200
Speaker 2: It's good, you got leave, you know, And I'm like, no,

1994
01:35:52,400 --> 01:35:54,120
Speaker 2: let me do some cases I wanted, you know, And

1995
01:35:54,160 --> 01:35:56,160
Speaker 2: so I would work one or two hours or so.

1996
01:35:56,240 --> 01:35:56,680
Speaker 1: Finally, the.

1997
01:35:59,200 --> 01:36:04,760
Speaker 4: It was, it was and just saying you okay's like no,

1998
01:36:04,920 --> 01:36:05,840
Speaker 4: I'm still you know.

1999
01:36:05,920 --> 01:36:08,360
Speaker 2: Everybody's like, girl, like it's not that you know. I'm like,

2000
01:36:08,439 --> 01:36:11,280
Speaker 2: I got to prove I cannot lose this. I cannot

2001
01:36:11,320 --> 01:36:14,640
Speaker 2: lose my career like this is. And even though my

2002
01:36:15,000 --> 01:36:17,000
Speaker 2: money was not a factor, my money has never been

2003
01:36:17,040 --> 01:36:19,840
Speaker 2: a factor in our home, I was like, I want

2004
01:36:19,880 --> 01:36:22,080
Speaker 2: my independence because I had my daddy. You had your independence,

2005
01:36:22,320 --> 01:36:24,880
Speaker 2: your own money, regardless of what he doing, you had

2006
01:36:24,960 --> 01:36:25,599
Speaker 2: your own money.

2007
01:36:26,479 --> 01:36:29,880
Speaker 1: And finally, he I think I was. I was falling

2008
01:36:29,960 --> 01:36:31,200
Speaker 1: and losing my balance, and.

2009
01:36:31,320 --> 01:36:33,000
Speaker 2: He kind of got back to the doctor, was like, well,

2010
01:36:33,040 --> 01:36:36,200
Speaker 2: why if she's okay, why why would they release her?

2011
01:36:36,360 --> 01:36:38,240
Speaker 2: And that's when the doctor was like, she's not okay.

2012
01:36:38,560 --> 01:36:43,240
Speaker 2: She's she's pretending that she's okay. She's pretending she's convinced

2013
01:36:43,280 --> 01:36:46,200
Speaker 2: herself that she's okay, and she's not. And so I

2014
01:36:46,320 --> 01:36:49,040
Speaker 2: went back to rehabilitation and it was two year process.

2015
01:36:49,240 --> 01:36:52,439
Speaker 2: That was a two year process, and well, you know,

2016
01:36:53,040 --> 01:36:54,839
Speaker 2: I'm always going to be a post troke patience.

2017
01:36:54,880 --> 01:36:59,680
Speaker 1: So I know, what do you see, Roy, She's no,

2018
01:36:59,800 --> 01:37:02,479
Speaker 1: it's honestly, but you.

2019
01:37:02,520 --> 01:37:05,519
Speaker 2: Know, there's still a cognitive delay, there's still you know,

2020
01:37:05,600 --> 01:37:07,599
Speaker 2: I still have major brain fog and now I'm going

2021
01:37:07,640 --> 01:37:10,560
Speaker 2: through pyramenopause and all those things. But uh, you know,

2022
01:37:10,680 --> 01:37:13,640
Speaker 2: I still I have neuropathy, you know. I you know,

2023
01:37:13,720 --> 01:37:17,400
Speaker 2: I have arthritis really bad. I'm weak on my left side,

2024
01:37:17,680 --> 01:37:19,120
Speaker 2: you know. So there's a lot of things that are

2025
01:37:19,160 --> 01:37:22,800
Speaker 2: going on. And that's the thing about you know, having

2026
01:37:22,840 --> 01:37:25,479
Speaker 2: a stroke or having any type of illness where it's

2027
01:37:25,600 --> 01:37:28,840
Speaker 2: not visibly seen. You you see, you're seeing healing on

2028
01:37:28,920 --> 01:37:31,640
Speaker 2: the outside, right, but people don't see you fighting on

2029
01:37:31,680 --> 01:37:32,639
Speaker 2: the inside, right.

2030
01:37:32,760 --> 01:37:33,840
Speaker 1: And so U.

2031
01:37:35,479 --> 01:37:38,160
Speaker 2: I'm great. I've come a long way and a lot

2032
01:37:38,240 --> 01:37:41,439
Speaker 2: further than a lot of people come. And I'm grateful

2033
01:37:41,520 --> 01:37:44,720
Speaker 2: for that. But you know, I'm just glad that I'm

2034
01:37:44,760 --> 01:37:46,880
Speaker 2: here and god, you know, seeing the best of me

2035
01:37:47,000 --> 01:37:49,519
Speaker 2: to still be here. But there are there are those

2036
01:37:49,680 --> 01:37:52,120
Speaker 2: challenges that I have that I'm very transparent about.

2037
01:37:52,680 --> 01:37:52,800
Speaker 5: Uh.

2038
01:37:53,040 --> 01:37:54,920
Speaker 1: And like I said, when you say yesterday I was,

2039
01:37:55,280 --> 01:37:56,000
Speaker 1: I was great.

2040
01:37:56,080 --> 01:38:00,240
Speaker 2: Today, I'm well, you know, and tomorrow you know I'm

2041
01:38:00,240 --> 01:38:02,640
Speaker 2: gonna be great too, I affirm and I speak that.

2042
01:38:04,000 --> 01:38:07,400
Speaker 2: But there are days that are not are not great

2043
01:38:07,439 --> 01:38:07,640
Speaker 2: for me?

2044
01:38:07,880 --> 01:38:11,040
Speaker 3: Right right, let me ask you this because I want

2045
01:38:11,080 --> 01:38:12,760
Speaker 3: to get this in here before we wrap up, and

2046
01:38:12,840 --> 01:38:18,160
Speaker 3: real succinctly you found out that you have prostate cancer?

2047
01:38:18,640 --> 01:38:20,840
Speaker 5: How Roy? And what year was?

2048
01:38:20,920 --> 01:38:20,960
Speaker 4: Just?

2049
01:38:22,080 --> 01:38:27,200
Speaker 5: It was last year, just going doing my normal six

2050
01:38:27,280 --> 01:38:30,360
Speaker 5: month physical. So I do physical every six months, and

2051
01:38:30,560 --> 01:38:33,880
Speaker 5: so just going I have the same primary doctor. And

2052
01:38:35,360 --> 01:38:38,439
Speaker 5: last year when I finished my physical, she said, I've

2053
01:38:38,439 --> 01:38:42,559
Speaker 5: been noticing that your your PSA level is going up

2054
01:38:43,600 --> 01:38:49,160
Speaker 5: and your last three or four blood tests it's remained

2055
01:38:50,920 --> 01:38:54,760
Speaker 5: above what it should be. And she's like, we need

2056
01:38:54,880 --> 01:38:57,800
Speaker 5: to talk about getting you checked. We need to talk

2057
01:38:57,840 --> 01:39:01,000
Speaker 5: about getting checking your prostect And I said, well, you

2058
01:39:01,040 --> 01:39:02,760
Speaker 5: know what, whatever you want to do. She said, well,

2059
01:39:02,800 --> 01:39:04,760
Speaker 5: it's you know, up to you. She said, it's not

2060
01:39:04,840 --> 01:39:08,080
Speaker 5: at a level you know, to where she's like, I

2061
01:39:08,120 --> 01:39:12,519
Speaker 5: don't think it's cancer or anything, but I would suggest

2062
01:39:12,600 --> 01:39:15,320
Speaker 5: you do the biops, do aut a test, just to

2063
01:39:15,400 --> 01:39:20,599
Speaker 5: be sure, just to be sure, and we scheduled everything,

2064
01:39:20,840 --> 01:39:23,080
Speaker 5: but you know you schedule stuff with the hospital, it's

2065
01:39:23,120 --> 01:39:26,839
Speaker 5: three four months out, especially any type of in house surgery,

2066
01:39:27,160 --> 01:39:31,439
Speaker 5: which everything would prostate is considered in house surgery. And

2067
01:39:31,640 --> 01:39:36,200
Speaker 5: so during this time that I'm waiting, one of my

2068
01:39:36,280 --> 01:39:39,400
Speaker 5: good friends called me and said he had just had

2069
01:39:39,479 --> 01:39:41,720
Speaker 5: prostate surgery. And he didn't tell anybody, he kept it

2070
01:39:41,720 --> 01:39:43,800
Speaker 5: to himself. And he was like, Hey, I just want

2071
01:39:43,800 --> 01:39:47,639
Speaker 5: to let you know I got I had prostate surgery.

2072
01:39:47,800 --> 01:39:50,320
Speaker 5: This is what happened. And I was like, well, what

2073
01:39:50,720 --> 01:39:52,439
Speaker 5: made you check it? And he was telling me all

2074
01:39:53,520 --> 01:39:57,200
Speaker 5: and I wasn't having any of those symptoms, but just

2075
01:39:57,360 --> 01:40:00,120
Speaker 5: the fact that it was that close that made me

2076
01:40:00,200 --> 01:40:02,800
Speaker 5: want to go into and so I called I got,

2077
01:40:03,120 --> 01:40:05,280
Speaker 5: I got everything moved up. I said, now we need

2078
01:40:05,360 --> 01:40:07,880
Speaker 5: to do it quicker than that. We need to find

2079
01:40:07,920 --> 01:40:13,160
Speaker 5: out what's going on. And so I went in, did

2080
01:40:13,200 --> 01:40:17,000
Speaker 5: the screening. A couple of weeks later, went in, did

2081
01:40:17,080 --> 01:40:21,720
Speaker 5: the biopsy, they tested it, sent me the results and

2082
01:40:21,880 --> 01:40:24,360
Speaker 5: they said, yeah, we found a little corner pocket over

2083
01:40:24,400 --> 01:40:27,080
Speaker 5: here that it's cancerous.

2084
01:40:27,960 --> 01:40:33,920
Speaker 4: Right, And so that was around February of this year.

2085
01:40:35,240 --> 01:40:39,040
Speaker 5: And so now I have to go talk to a

2086
01:40:39,240 --> 01:40:43,800
Speaker 5: urologist and an oncologists and there's another guy that's going

2087
01:40:43,840 --> 01:40:44,040
Speaker 5: to do.

2088
01:40:44,040 --> 01:40:47,400
Speaker 4: All the surgeries and stuff. And so these are the options.

2089
01:40:48,640 --> 01:40:54,000
Speaker 5: ABC or D leave it alone, surgery, radiation or leave

2090
01:40:54,000 --> 01:40:57,479
Speaker 5: it alone, right, And so I talked to it. I said, okay,

2091
01:40:57,520 --> 01:40:59,720
Speaker 5: well let me think about it. So I went and

2092
01:40:59,760 --> 01:41:05,800
Speaker 5: talked to Shanta and these are my options. And so

2093
01:41:05,960 --> 01:41:08,599
Speaker 5: then I have to go see another doctor saying conversation.

2094
01:41:08,680 --> 01:41:10,479
Speaker 5: You know, they got to get you mentally, right, yeah,

2095
01:41:10,520 --> 01:41:17,479
Speaker 5: prepare So surgery they cut everything out and you pray

2096
01:41:17,640 --> 01:41:21,799
Speaker 5: and hope that you could have some sort of function afterwards.

2097
01:41:22,680 --> 01:41:28,599
Speaker 5: Radiation a pretty good chance that most things will come

2098
01:41:28,720 --> 01:41:34,840
Speaker 5: back normal, but you will have some issues. Or leave

2099
01:41:34,840 --> 01:41:38,679
Speaker 5: it alone and don't ever deal with it and hope

2100
01:41:38,720 --> 01:41:41,880
Speaker 5: it doesn't kill you before you're ninety one hundred years old, right,

2101
01:41:42,280 --> 01:41:46,519
Speaker 5: So those are your choices. And so after talking to

2102
01:41:47,200 --> 01:41:52,200
Speaker 5: the doctors, I decided, you know, I go to radiation

2103
01:41:52,360 --> 01:42:01,479
Speaker 5: route and I have to do surgical implants little seeds

2104
01:42:01,520 --> 01:42:07,720
Speaker 5: they call them seeds. And this whole surgery process, it's

2105
01:42:08,080 --> 01:42:11,880
Speaker 5: one of the most humbling experiences of your life as

2106
01:42:11,920 --> 01:42:18,559
Speaker 5: a man. It's a very humbling experience. And I had

2107
01:42:18,760 --> 01:42:25,000
Speaker 5: twenty five radiation tree every day. And so now the

2108
01:42:25,120 --> 01:42:29,439
Speaker 5: thing about it is one thing I want to say

2109
01:42:29,800 --> 01:42:35,439
Speaker 5: that I don't think I've probably acknowledged during my whole process.

2110
01:42:37,400 --> 01:42:43,000
Speaker 5: Cancer at my at this time in my life, was

2111
01:42:44,240 --> 01:42:45,800
Speaker 5: it was a gift that a cur It was a

2112
01:42:45,840 --> 01:42:50,880
Speaker 5: blessing for me. And I say that because I'm fortunate

2113
01:42:51,520 --> 01:42:56,639
Speaker 5: enough to where I'm young enough to handle it physically

2114
01:42:56,800 --> 01:43:00,000
Speaker 5: and emotionally, but also I was in a financial situation

2115
01:43:00,040 --> 01:43:05,200
Speaker 5: awation to afford it. Cancer treatment is very ex heard,

2116
01:43:06,320 --> 01:43:08,800
Speaker 5: and I saw a lot of people have to make

2117
01:43:08,960 --> 01:43:12,439
Speaker 5: choices of getting their treatment or paying their bills.

2118
01:43:12,560 --> 01:43:13,639
Speaker 4: It's terrible.

2119
01:43:13,920 --> 01:43:18,400
Speaker 5: You know. When I first started one of my original

2120
01:43:18,479 --> 01:43:24,719
Speaker 5: medications prescription, my copay was sixteen hundred dollars the copay,

2121
01:43:25,439 --> 01:43:30,160
Speaker 5: my copay. You didn't do that well, sixteen every thirty days.

2122
01:43:30,760 --> 01:43:33,000
Speaker 4: So hold on, you have to pay sixteen hundred dollars

2123
01:43:33,080 --> 01:43:33,920
Speaker 4: every thirty.

2124
01:43:33,680 --> 01:43:36,519
Speaker 5: Days, sixteen hundred dollars every thirty days for my mess.

2125
01:43:38,439 --> 01:43:39,080
Speaker 4: Until I got that.

2126
01:43:39,560 --> 01:43:42,400
Speaker 2: See how already is for a person who you know,

2127
01:43:42,560 --> 01:43:44,519
Speaker 2: we should never be in a place where we have

2128
01:43:44,640 --> 01:43:46,599
Speaker 2: to decide whether we need to pay our bills.

2129
01:43:47,040 --> 01:43:49,600
Speaker 1: Lit we need to live now, and that's why a

2130
01:43:49,600 --> 01:43:50,680
Speaker 1: lot of people don't go to them.

2131
01:43:50,800 --> 01:43:55,680
Speaker 5: Now, that was for my medication, my copay from our

2132
01:43:56,280 --> 01:43:59,920
Speaker 5: radiation treatments. I had a one time payment of twenty

2133
01:44:00,080 --> 01:44:04,959
Speaker 5: four hundred dollars, right, So you're figure in the first.

2134
01:44:04,840 --> 01:44:09,280
Speaker 4: Ninety days you out five out five dollars, right, And

2135
01:44:11,080 --> 01:44:12,000
Speaker 4: I got to go every day.

2136
01:44:12,680 --> 01:44:16,160
Speaker 5: I still had a job, So I got a call

2137
01:44:16,280 --> 01:44:18,719
Speaker 5: in or convinced you know, you know what I'm saying,

2138
01:44:18,840 --> 01:44:21,120
Speaker 5: So you would do what you would, you would work. No,

2139
01:44:21,400 --> 01:44:23,720
Speaker 5: I took off the whole time. I used up all

2140
01:44:23,800 --> 01:44:27,600
Speaker 5: my vacation times, all my sick leave, everything, and I

2141
01:44:27,760 --> 01:44:32,680
Speaker 5: just stayed home for three months, right and so, but.

2142
01:44:33,320 --> 01:44:35,240
Speaker 4: Because I had me a good government job.

2143
01:44:36,479 --> 01:44:40,280
Speaker 5: But imagine a regular person or just anybody who got

2144
01:44:40,360 --> 01:44:42,320
Speaker 5: a call in or any Yeah, you know you got

2145
01:44:42,439 --> 01:44:43,120
Speaker 5: the kind of job.

2146
01:44:43,200 --> 01:44:45,719
Speaker 3: And just imagine right now you're working in the government

2147
01:44:46,160 --> 01:44:48,840
Speaker 3: right now, right now, right, I couldn't do it at all.

2148
01:44:49,080 --> 01:44:51,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe ready to let you go, you know what

2149
01:44:51,720 --> 01:44:51,960
Speaker 1: I mean.

2150
01:44:52,240 --> 01:44:58,759
Speaker 5: So God, I say that to say, I'm twice fortunate

2151
01:44:59,439 --> 01:45:02,320
Speaker 5: because not now, Not only was I in a position

2152
01:45:02,960 --> 01:45:05,919
Speaker 5: to get the treatment, and now that I'm in remission,

2153
01:45:07,960 --> 01:45:08,519
Speaker 5: it was just.

2154
01:45:10,400 --> 01:45:11,360
Speaker 4: It's a tough thing.

2155
01:45:12,040 --> 01:45:14,800
Speaker 5: I really just think about all the people that I

2156
01:45:15,080 --> 01:45:17,879
Speaker 5: know can't, yeah, can't deal with it in America.

2157
01:45:18,400 --> 01:45:22,360
Speaker 3: Absolutely. Let me ask you all this real quick marriage,

2158
01:45:24,040 --> 01:45:27,200
Speaker 3: knowing that y'all had each other to go through this with.

2159
01:45:29,680 --> 01:45:33,360
Speaker 3: What can you say was the value of having Roy

2160
01:45:33,479 --> 01:45:37,320
Speaker 3: beside you while you were going through these strokes in

2161
01:45:37,479 --> 01:45:40,120
Speaker 3: and out the doctor's office, having the spirit of discernment,

2162
01:45:40,200 --> 01:45:42,479
Speaker 3: To be able to call your daughter say take uh,

2163
01:45:43,000 --> 01:45:46,439
Speaker 3: take your mama, she hard headed. And to even have

2164
01:45:47,360 --> 01:45:51,960
Speaker 3: your wife, shanta Q been able to go through this

2165
01:45:52,280 --> 01:45:56,640
Speaker 3: what we talked about, how quote unquote embarrassing it is

2166
01:45:56,760 --> 01:45:59,280
Speaker 3: for a man to out of all cancers, a man

2167
01:45:59,320 --> 01:46:02,880
Speaker 3: will probably won't throat cancer before prostate cancer. You know,

2168
01:46:04,880 --> 01:46:06,920
Speaker 3: how did it feel for both of y'all to know

2169
01:46:07,040 --> 01:46:07,920
Speaker 3: that y'all had each other?

2170
01:46:08,479 --> 01:46:11,320
Speaker 2: It was I can't even I can't even gather the

2171
01:46:11,400 --> 01:46:16,680
Speaker 2: words to say, because I know this man loves me,

2172
01:46:17,560 --> 01:46:21,040
Speaker 2: and there was a time where I lost my total independence,

2173
01:46:21,200 --> 01:46:24,080
Speaker 2: my total independence, and and and you can just get

2174
01:46:24,120 --> 01:46:27,400
Speaker 2: as visual as you can in your in your mind,

2175
01:46:28,000 --> 01:46:30,040
Speaker 2: what I couldn't do for myself that he had to do,

2176
01:46:30,960 --> 01:46:36,599
Speaker 2: and statistics say that you know, in most cases when

2177
01:46:36,640 --> 01:46:40,799
Speaker 2: a woman is terminally ill or sick, the husband leaves.

2178
01:46:40,920 --> 01:46:41,120
Speaker 5: Yep.

2179
01:46:41,720 --> 01:46:44,479
Speaker 1: And there was never a time that I thought that

2180
01:46:44,600 --> 01:46:48,120
Speaker 1: he would leave me. He was always there. He loved me.

2181
01:46:48,360 --> 01:46:50,320
Speaker 2: And you know, you think about when they say through

2182
01:46:50,360 --> 01:46:52,680
Speaker 2: sickness and health, and you think about findance. You know,

2183
01:46:52,800 --> 01:46:54,920
Speaker 2: we've been through a lot. You know, this is just

2184
01:46:55,040 --> 01:46:58,760
Speaker 2: a portion of our story. But to have someone that

2185
01:46:58,920 --> 01:47:04,280
Speaker 2: I felt loves me like Christ loves the church, sure

2186
01:47:04,320 --> 01:47:10,519
Speaker 2: it is, is probably the best. Like there's nothing we

2187
01:47:10,600 --> 01:47:14,519
Speaker 2: can't go through. There's nothing that we cannot go through.

2188
01:47:15,040 --> 01:47:18,280
Speaker 2: And so to be together and being able to because

2189
01:47:18,320 --> 01:47:20,160
Speaker 2: there was a time where he didn't when I say, hey,

2190
01:47:21,040 --> 01:47:23,400
Speaker 2: you don't understand how it feels to have to face

2191
01:47:23,479 --> 01:47:27,920
Speaker 2: your own mortality and several times, but to now have

2192
01:47:28,240 --> 01:47:33,800
Speaker 2: someone that can understand and we can see each other

2193
01:47:33,880 --> 01:47:37,880
Speaker 2: with not even having to speak what's going on it

2194
01:47:39,800 --> 01:47:42,919
Speaker 2: I can't even explain it, but I'm grateful.

2195
01:47:43,560 --> 01:47:47,880
Speaker 1: And it goes back to the story.

2196
01:47:48,439 --> 01:47:53,960
Speaker 2: When I was in the hospital, sick, in the hospital

2197
01:47:54,200 --> 01:47:56,479
Speaker 2: by a victim of a violent crime, when I ask God,

2198
01:47:57,240 --> 01:48:00,880
Speaker 2: don't give me what I want, what I need, because

2199
01:48:00,920 --> 01:48:03,840
Speaker 2: everything I wanted could not take care of me like

2200
01:48:04,000 --> 01:48:05,560
Speaker 2: this man has taken care of me.

2201
01:48:05,800 --> 01:48:06,360
Speaker 4: That's so good.

2202
01:48:07,160 --> 01:48:10,439
Speaker 2: So when you speak and you ask God, he will

2203
01:48:10,479 --> 01:48:13,200
Speaker 2: give it within his will. And that's what he did.

2204
01:48:13,680 --> 01:48:15,880
Speaker 2: And so I am grateful that we have each other.

2205
01:48:16,800 --> 01:48:20,280
Speaker 2: I'm grateful that we have these stories to share, and

2206
01:48:20,640 --> 01:48:22,200
Speaker 2: I wouldn't do it with anybody else.

2207
01:48:22,640 --> 01:48:24,560
Speaker 3: Let me add this to it, which is powerful. And

2208
01:48:24,680 --> 01:48:29,240
Speaker 3: God spoke to me as you were saying this, Thank

2209
01:48:29,320 --> 01:48:33,720
Speaker 3: your Holy Spirit. One of the biggest things that prohibited

2210
01:48:33,800 --> 01:48:37,080
Speaker 3: you or gave you cause the pause to get married,

2211
01:48:37,760 --> 01:48:40,880
Speaker 3: was the fear of losing your independence. And here it

2212
01:48:41,240 --> 01:48:46,200
Speaker 3: was the ultimate level of losing your independence was a

2213
01:48:46,360 --> 01:48:49,519
Speaker 3: health situation, and then the finances you lost, all that

2214
01:48:49,640 --> 01:48:53,479
Speaker 3: stuff that happened, and now you're totally reliant on your husband.

2215
01:48:54,160 --> 01:48:57,439
Speaker 3: And you said something that I talk about a lot,

2216
01:48:57,640 --> 01:49:01,160
Speaker 3: that statistics showed that most men and leave their wives

2217
01:49:01,200 --> 01:49:02,839
Speaker 3: when they're facing the terminal illness.

2218
01:49:03,200 --> 01:49:04,360
Speaker 4: And I want you to speak to that.

2219
01:49:04,880 --> 01:49:05,080
Speaker 1: Roy.

2220
01:49:05,479 --> 01:49:07,160
Speaker 4: Why wasn't that even a thought for you?

2221
01:49:09,000 --> 01:49:15,960
Speaker 5: Because from the very beginning, I asked for what I want,

2222
01:49:16,000 --> 01:49:19,040
Speaker 5: I got what I wanted. I said, I want a

2223
01:49:19,200 --> 01:49:22,160
Speaker 5: woman that I'm gonna be with for the rest of

2224
01:49:22,200 --> 01:49:26,360
Speaker 5: my life, that I will love, she will love me,

2225
01:49:26,479 --> 01:49:29,640
Speaker 5: will take care of each other, and whatever faces us,

2226
01:49:30,080 --> 01:49:36,880
Speaker 5: we're gonna face it together. And through the mini trips

2227
01:49:36,920 --> 01:49:41,920
Speaker 5: to the hospitals, through the physical therapy. You know, she

2228
01:49:42,280 --> 01:49:48,320
Speaker 5: she when she tells her story, she she softens it

2229
01:49:48,439 --> 01:49:50,320
Speaker 5: up a lot because a lot of it is it's

2230
01:49:50,360 --> 01:49:54,240
Speaker 5: emotional for her because you can easily say, I went

2231
01:49:54,280 --> 01:49:59,040
Speaker 5: to physical therapy therapy for two years. Yeah, but I

2232
01:49:59,160 --> 01:50:00,760
Speaker 5: had to pick you up, put you in the truck

2233
01:50:00,840 --> 01:50:04,040
Speaker 5: to go. You know, it was an every day painful

2234
01:50:04,160 --> 01:50:06,880
Speaker 5: experience for her, trying to get on the treadmill and

2235
01:50:07,000 --> 01:50:11,320
Speaker 5: walk and then being the woman she was with her

2236
01:50:11,400 --> 01:50:12,920
Speaker 5: mindset of independence.

2237
01:50:14,040 --> 01:50:15,840
Speaker 4: Your husband got to put you in the tub.

2238
01:50:16,000 --> 01:50:18,720
Speaker 5: Your husband got to help you off the toilet, your

2239
01:50:18,800 --> 01:50:21,120
Speaker 5: husband got to help you get dressed, help you brush

2240
01:50:21,160 --> 01:50:23,080
Speaker 5: your teeth, help feed you.

2241
01:50:23,960 --> 01:50:28,280
Speaker 4: You know, so there was never.

2242
01:50:30,520 --> 01:50:33,040
Speaker 5: It wasn't even a it wasn't a question of Roy,

2243
01:50:33,640 --> 01:50:36,320
Speaker 5: why didn't you? Why'd you stay with her? It never

2244
01:50:36,400 --> 01:50:40,240
Speaker 5: crossed my mind. I did what I was supposed to

2245
01:50:40,320 --> 01:50:42,960
Speaker 5: do for the woman that I love and that I

2246
01:50:43,080 --> 01:50:46,040
Speaker 5: knew she would do for me in the same situation, And.

2247
01:50:46,120 --> 01:50:49,520
Speaker 3: How did it feel when though the table was reversed

2248
01:50:49,960 --> 01:50:53,519
Speaker 3: and now here you are seeking, fighting for your life,

2249
01:50:54,280 --> 01:50:55,519
Speaker 3: battling prostate cancer.

2250
01:50:56,760 --> 01:51:00,280
Speaker 4: I was never worried. I always knew that.

2251
01:51:02,000 --> 01:51:05,040
Speaker 5: My wife she do what she had to do, whatever

2252
01:51:05,400 --> 01:51:08,719
Speaker 5: whatever it was to get me to where I needed

2253
01:51:08,760 --> 01:51:09,640
Speaker 5: to be to take her.

2254
01:51:10,120 --> 01:51:13,160
Speaker 4: I was never. I was never. It never crossed my mind.

2255
01:51:16,240 --> 01:51:18,840
Speaker 4: I know my wife got me. How does it feel?

2256
01:51:19,040 --> 01:51:20,280
Speaker 3: This is what I want you all to speak to

2257
01:51:20,360 --> 01:51:23,280
Speaker 3: you as we get ready to wrap up, and gosh,

2258
01:51:23,360 --> 01:51:24,600
Speaker 3: we got to wrap up. But let me tell you

2259
01:51:24,680 --> 01:51:28,760
Speaker 3: something because I love that y'all. Y'all hitting some key

2260
01:51:28,840 --> 01:51:32,679
Speaker 3: points in a time in a dead age where people

2261
01:51:32,800 --> 01:51:38,160
Speaker 3: say that men losing marriage, they say women losing marriage.

2262
01:51:38,200 --> 01:51:41,360
Speaker 3: That a woman gets married, her days of her life

2263
01:51:41,439 --> 01:51:43,320
Speaker 3: are shortened because of marriage.

2264
01:51:59,760 --> 01:52:03,479
Speaker 2: This you say it coming threes, right, But I went

2265
01:52:03,520 --> 01:52:06,040
Speaker 2: through a metamorphois right, yeah, like I was telling you

2266
01:52:06,080 --> 01:52:08,799
Speaker 2: the other day, Like I said, Jonah had to surrender

2267
01:52:08,880 --> 01:52:09,479
Speaker 2: in three days.

2268
01:52:09,560 --> 01:52:13,000
Speaker 1: There it is, right, Jesus rolls third.

2269
01:52:13,160 --> 01:52:13,920
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.

2270
01:52:14,040 --> 01:52:17,479
Speaker 5: So so what would you say to that? What would

2271
01:52:17,520 --> 01:52:18,720
Speaker 5: you say to.

2272
01:52:19,560 --> 01:52:23,960
Speaker 3: Your sisters out there, the queens that say that's old school,

2273
01:52:24,439 --> 01:52:26,679
Speaker 3: like marriage doesn't really work.

2274
01:52:27,320 --> 01:52:27,840
Speaker 4: I see it.

2275
01:52:28,000 --> 01:52:32,320
Speaker 3: It just it just doesn't work as well. Y'all are

2276
01:52:32,360 --> 01:52:36,599
Speaker 3: on anomaly. That's just I hear this story. It's great,

2277
01:52:36,920 --> 01:52:41,200
Speaker 3: but come on, I don't find value in marriage.

2278
01:52:42,800 --> 01:52:44,160
Speaker 5: Because you was once that woman.

2279
01:52:44,760 --> 01:52:48,280
Speaker 2: You have to find find value in yourself first before

2280
01:52:48,360 --> 01:52:51,040
Speaker 2: you can find value in anything else. And you know,

2281
01:52:51,160 --> 01:52:53,640
Speaker 2: this is a hard conversation because I don't understand it,

2282
01:52:53,760 --> 01:52:55,560
Speaker 2: you know, you know, I go through social media and

2283
01:52:55,640 --> 01:52:57,560
Speaker 2: I hear you know, you know, fifty to fifty what

2284
01:52:57,680 --> 01:52:59,680
Speaker 2: you bring to the table and all these things, and

2285
01:52:59,720 --> 01:53:02,679
Speaker 2: I'm like, that was never that was never a topic

2286
01:53:02,760 --> 01:53:05,680
Speaker 2: of discussion because I just always seen what man was

2287
01:53:05,680 --> 01:53:07,120
Speaker 2: supposed to, what a man was supposed to do, and

2288
01:53:07,200 --> 01:53:10,280
Speaker 2: what a woman could do it should do and like

2289
01:53:10,439 --> 01:53:13,360
Speaker 2: and like I said, I was, you know, not wanting

2290
01:53:13,400 --> 01:53:15,759
Speaker 2: to say that I'm a traditional wife, but I've always

2291
01:53:15,800 --> 01:53:18,320
Speaker 2: my husband has always allowed me the space to be

2292
01:53:18,520 --> 01:53:22,040
Speaker 2: me and and made me want to be submissive to him.

2293
01:53:23,000 --> 01:53:27,439
Speaker 1: But I just tell, you know, women, to trust the

2294
01:53:27,479 --> 01:53:32,439
Speaker 1: word and trust God, and what is for you will

2295
01:53:32,520 --> 01:53:32,960
Speaker 1: come to you.

2296
01:53:33,680 --> 01:53:33,840
Speaker 5: Right.

2297
01:53:34,160 --> 01:53:37,120
Speaker 2: A lot of times we go searching, and and I

2298
01:53:37,200 --> 01:53:39,599
Speaker 2: believe sometimes we look for things when we're not ready.

2299
01:53:40,040 --> 01:53:42,599
Speaker 2: We go outside of God's vision. We want to snatch

2300
01:53:42,640 --> 01:53:45,400
Speaker 2: the pin while he's writing. And so we have to

2301
01:53:45,560 --> 01:53:49,880
Speaker 2: trust God's path for us and our purpose and not

2302
01:53:50,040 --> 01:53:53,559
Speaker 2: immediately is always going to be marriage. And I don't

2303
01:53:53,600 --> 01:53:55,600
Speaker 2: think God is going to put you in a situation.

2304
01:54:00,160 --> 01:54:04,479
Speaker 2: How can I say this without offending anybody? And I

2305
01:54:04,520 --> 01:54:07,960
Speaker 2: don't and I never meant. I would just say I

2306
01:54:08,080 --> 01:54:09,880
Speaker 2: never meant mean to offend. And I always try to

2307
01:54:09,920 --> 01:54:13,320
Speaker 2: be very mindful and cautious, but I just always say

2308
01:54:13,400 --> 01:54:16,360
Speaker 2: what media. I know how social media can take your word,

2309
01:54:16,479 --> 01:54:18,479
Speaker 2: take a little clip, but I would just say, I'm

2310
01:54:18,560 --> 01:54:21,400
Speaker 2: just going to say this, what is for you will

2311
01:54:21,520 --> 01:54:27,760
Speaker 2: find you right and and and trust that, like I said,

2312
01:54:28,120 --> 01:54:30,760
Speaker 2: what was for me found me. And I asked God

2313
01:54:31,000 --> 01:54:35,000
Speaker 2: exactly what I wanted, what I needed. I came to

2314
01:54:35,080 --> 01:54:39,000
Speaker 2: the realization that the things that I was desiring was

2315
01:54:39,120 --> 01:54:42,120
Speaker 2: outside of God's will, and that's why it was never

2316
01:54:42,240 --> 01:54:44,840
Speaker 2: meant to work. It never worked because it was always

2317
01:54:44,960 --> 01:54:47,640
Speaker 2: outside of will. I was chasing this, I was chasing

2318
01:54:47,720 --> 01:54:50,120
Speaker 2: that people be like one of the things say, well,

2319
01:54:50,160 --> 01:54:52,760
Speaker 2: I rather cry in a Rolls Royce than I've cried

2320
01:54:52,800 --> 01:54:56,680
Speaker 2: in one. Exactly it feel the same. Exactly, it feels

2321
01:54:56,720 --> 01:55:00,840
Speaker 2: the same. Yeah, it feels the same. It doesn't feel

2322
01:55:00,880 --> 01:55:04,560
Speaker 2: good and I want I want substance. I want somebody

2323
01:55:05,200 --> 01:55:07,400
Speaker 2: to I want to I want to be with the

2324
01:55:07,520 --> 01:55:10,480
Speaker 2: man that when I can't wipe my own behind, yeah,

2325
01:55:11,120 --> 01:55:14,440
Speaker 2: that he's gonna wipe it for me. And that's and

2326
01:55:14,600 --> 01:55:18,040
Speaker 2: that's what I say when with what I need, I

2327
01:55:18,240 --> 01:55:22,160
Speaker 2: just say, whatever you whatever you you need, ask God

2328
01:55:22,240 --> 01:55:24,720
Speaker 2: for that. Yeah, ask God, because I always say the

2329
01:55:24,760 --> 01:55:27,720
Speaker 2: same man that the same man you praying for is

2330
01:55:27,800 --> 01:55:28,800
Speaker 2: outside praying for you.

2331
01:55:31,000 --> 01:55:32,000
Speaker 4: Roy, Yes, sir.

2332
01:55:32,080 --> 01:55:34,120
Speaker 3: What would you say to these men who say that

2333
01:55:34,520 --> 01:55:38,480
Speaker 3: marriage isn't valuable? Men losing marriage? Why something go wrong?

2334
01:55:38,600 --> 01:55:40,800
Speaker 3: You lose half of your money. Most of them ain't

2335
01:55:40,800 --> 01:55:43,160
Speaker 3: nothing making about forty thousand dollars. They scared to lose

2336
01:55:43,600 --> 01:55:46,360
Speaker 3: forty thousand. So what would you what would you say?

2337
01:55:46,920 --> 01:55:47,920
Speaker 3: What would you say to that?

2338
01:55:48,800 --> 01:55:53,720
Speaker 4: I would say, Uh, it's not supposed to be easy.

2339
01:55:55,080 --> 01:55:59,879
Speaker 5: Anything, no matter what it is in this universe, anything

2340
01:56:00,200 --> 01:56:04,600
Speaker 5: that's worth having, it's gonna take work. It's gonna be hard.

2341
01:56:05,480 --> 01:56:07,760
Speaker 5: It's gonna be times when you want to give up.

2342
01:56:08,320 --> 01:56:11,879
Speaker 5: It's gonna be times when you're thinking there's an easier,

2343
01:56:11,960 --> 01:56:19,080
Speaker 5: better path, that's life, right, And so it's always easier

2344
01:56:19,200 --> 01:56:20,840
Speaker 5: to take the easiest.

2345
01:56:20,480 --> 01:56:23,520
Speaker 4: Path and take the easy way out right.

2346
01:56:24,600 --> 01:56:27,520
Speaker 5: It ain't hard to go out there and find as

2347
01:56:27,560 --> 01:56:31,720
Speaker 5: a man, there's more women than me. It ain't hard

2348
01:56:31,760 --> 01:56:34,760
Speaker 5: to find a woman. You can find ten to twenty

2349
01:56:34,800 --> 01:56:39,240
Speaker 5: of them. That's not the goal. The goal is you

2350
01:56:39,360 --> 01:56:43,080
Speaker 5: have to find somebody that's on your same way, that's

2351
01:56:43,120 --> 01:56:44,360
Speaker 5: willing to build something with.

2352
01:56:44,480 --> 01:56:46,400
Speaker 1: You, evolve together as you both.

2353
01:56:47,200 --> 01:56:50,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, someone that's willing to grow with you. Someone that's

2354
01:56:50,320 --> 01:56:54,120
Speaker 5: willing to give up a little bit of their independence,

2355
01:56:54,240 --> 01:56:55,600
Speaker 5: just like you're willing to give up a little bit

2356
01:56:55,640 --> 01:56:58,200
Speaker 5: of your independence. That's part to create a team, a

2357
01:56:58,320 --> 01:57:02,080
Speaker 5: solid foundation. It's not a selfish thing. Marriage can't be

2358
01:57:02,160 --> 01:57:04,520
Speaker 5: a selfish It can't be a me me, me, me

2359
01:57:04,680 --> 01:57:07,720
Speaker 5: me thing. You know, it's it's a give and take,

2360
01:57:09,320 --> 01:57:13,280
Speaker 5: but it's also a cojoining kind of an effort.

2361
01:57:13,200 --> 01:57:15,480
Speaker 3: Image as a man. What was the most valuable thing

2362
01:57:16,160 --> 01:57:20,080
Speaker 3: that seanta Q brought to you into your life?

2363
01:57:21,520 --> 01:57:23,800
Speaker 5: The most valuable thing Shanta que out in my life?

2364
01:57:25,080 --> 01:57:30,800
Speaker 5: You know she uh, I would say softness. She uh

2365
01:57:32,280 --> 01:57:36,400
Speaker 5: was always fighting and advocating for me to open up

2366
01:57:36,440 --> 01:57:37,280
Speaker 5: more to love.

2367
01:57:37,480 --> 01:57:40,160
Speaker 4: I was, you know, I said, I started out rough.

2368
01:57:40,720 --> 01:57:45,280
Speaker 5: You know, and so I was always, uh, I would

2369
01:57:45,320 --> 01:57:48,560
Speaker 5: get it done, but I didn't want to hear nothing. Yeah.

2370
01:57:50,080 --> 01:57:52,520
Speaker 4: And I was in the military. Yeah, so I was

2371
01:57:52,600 --> 01:57:55,240
Speaker 4: always you know, and I was I was always rough.

2372
01:57:55,760 --> 01:57:58,600
Speaker 4: I was fair, but I was I was I was

2373
01:57:58,680 --> 01:57:59,200
Speaker 4: tough love.

2374
01:57:59,520 --> 01:58:03,560
Speaker 5: Yeah. And so she always, you know, Shaunta has always

2375
01:58:03,600 --> 01:58:06,600
Speaker 5: been the person that showed me uh you know, you know,

2376
01:58:06,760 --> 01:58:12,360
Speaker 5: she's unequivocal kindness. She's like the kindest person I know.

2377
01:58:12,520 --> 01:58:17,760
Speaker 5: She's nice to everybody, you know, and you know, she's optimistic.

2378
01:58:17,800 --> 01:58:20,680
Speaker 5: Impassed me. I don't like nobody, you know what I mean.

2379
01:58:21,120 --> 01:58:24,240
Speaker 5: I tell her, I ain't about nothing. I don't like nobody,

2380
01:58:24,520 --> 01:58:26,240
Speaker 5: like just the malone.

2381
01:58:30,040 --> 01:58:30,680
Speaker 2: She was hurting.

2382
01:58:34,000 --> 01:58:36,920
Speaker 5: I don't want nobody coming to my house over here.

2383
01:58:38,280 --> 01:58:45,240
Speaker 5: So you call me officer friendly friendly, everybody officer friendly.

2384
01:58:45,560 --> 01:58:48,240
Speaker 5: And so she showed me the softness. I don't have

2385
01:58:48,400 --> 01:58:51,000
Speaker 5: to I don't have to be like that. Yeah. And

2386
01:58:51,120 --> 01:58:53,000
Speaker 5: so that's that's the which which which.

2387
01:58:52,920 --> 01:58:55,680
Speaker 3: Actually brings a little, you know, more gravity to the

2388
01:58:55,760 --> 01:58:59,280
Speaker 3: fact that I see you acting silly and dancing all

2389
01:58:59,320 --> 01:59:01,320
Speaker 3: that talking videos or whatever, because it has to be

2390
01:59:01,480 --> 01:59:04,440
Speaker 3: so far from what you would want your public image

2391
01:59:04,480 --> 01:59:04,640
Speaker 3: to be.

2392
01:59:04,800 --> 01:59:06,200
Speaker 4: And you said a lot of your friends.

2393
01:59:06,280 --> 01:59:07,080
Speaker 5: Exactly right.

2394
01:59:07,800 --> 01:59:11,240
Speaker 4: I get clowned by my boys because they know, you know,

2395
01:59:11,760 --> 01:59:12,640
Speaker 4: I have, I.

2396
01:59:12,680 --> 01:59:15,080
Speaker 1: Have what they say, he've weighed so much different around you.

2397
01:59:16,160 --> 01:59:20,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, it's funny about life, life, life circles

2398
01:59:21,000 --> 01:59:22,880
Speaker 5: if you look at it. Because speaking of you know,

2399
01:59:22,960 --> 01:59:25,360
Speaker 5: my friends, I have a core group of friends that

2400
01:59:25,440 --> 01:59:26,800
Speaker 5: I've had for about thirty years.

2401
01:59:26,960 --> 01:59:29,920
Speaker 4: Okay, same five six dudes. We were all in the navy.

2402
01:59:30,040 --> 01:59:32,400
Speaker 5: We met in ninety two, Same five six dudes, And

2403
01:59:32,520 --> 01:59:35,200
Speaker 5: so those dudes will clown me, but those are also

2404
01:59:35,360 --> 01:59:39,320
Speaker 5: the same dudes. You know, we're all married, we all

2405
01:59:39,440 --> 01:59:44,240
Speaker 5: have good situations, we're all good, life wise, kid wise.

2406
01:59:45,440 --> 01:59:48,600
Speaker 5: And it goes back to that, you know, your circle

2407
01:59:48,600 --> 01:59:52,000
Speaker 5: will define you. The friendship circle will define you. And

2408
01:59:52,240 --> 01:59:56,200
Speaker 5: so even with the tack, even though they clown me

2409
01:59:56,400 --> 01:59:58,680
Speaker 5: and let me know, those are the same guys I

2410
01:59:58,880 --> 02:00:01,960
Speaker 5: go to I need some real advice, that's good, the

2411
02:00:02,240 --> 02:00:04,720
Speaker 5: same guys I go to if I lost every time

2412
02:00:04,800 --> 02:00:06,680
Speaker 5: the day I know I can call them and I'm

2413
02:00:06,680 --> 02:00:08,320
Speaker 5: gonna be straight. That's good, you know what I mean?

2414
02:00:08,480 --> 02:00:13,360
Speaker 5: So that all helps. Yeah, in life, you need a

2415
02:00:13,400 --> 02:00:15,880
Speaker 5: community to community is everything.

2416
02:00:16,560 --> 02:00:21,360
Speaker 3: Which but which as we segue into social media. What

2417
02:00:21,640 --> 02:00:23,560
Speaker 3: brought you to social Media's son c.

2418
02:00:24,440 --> 02:00:27,480
Speaker 2: Well, So, now I can say I always knew that

2419
02:00:27,560 --> 02:00:29,680
Speaker 2: I was going to be somebody, right, I always knew

2420
02:00:29,680 --> 02:00:34,760
Speaker 2: I was going to be somebody, but I never knew

2421
02:00:35,560 --> 02:00:39,280
Speaker 2: at what, what what what capacity I was going to

2422
02:00:39,360 --> 02:00:39,560
Speaker 2: do that.

2423
02:00:40,480 --> 02:00:45,520
Speaker 1: And uh, it was a little bit of let.

2424
02:00:45,520 --> 02:00:48,720
Speaker 4: Me get your underscore music. If you want to be somebody.

2425
02:00:49,560 --> 02:00:51,640
Speaker 1: If you want to, I know I can't.

2426
02:00:54,320 --> 02:00:54,520
Speaker 4: Pay.

2427
02:00:55,960 --> 02:00:56,720
Speaker 1: Yes, yes.

2428
02:00:56,840 --> 02:01:00,520
Speaker 2: So I was always you know, I always had a

2429
02:01:00,600 --> 02:01:03,640
Speaker 2: side hustle. So I was always advocating for women, you know,

2430
02:01:03,840 --> 02:01:06,720
Speaker 2: breast cancer, health and wellness. So it was always my

2431
02:01:07,360 --> 02:01:09,560
Speaker 2: goal to be a thought leader, just to be out

2432
02:01:09,600 --> 02:01:12,960
Speaker 2: there just advocating and trying to inspire people to do

2433
02:01:13,080 --> 02:01:15,200
Speaker 2: better in their lives and to learn from what I

2434
02:01:15,400 --> 02:01:18,840
Speaker 2: learned from, right and so. But I also at the

2435
02:01:18,880 --> 02:01:24,000
Speaker 2: same time loved my job as an Iris employee.

2436
02:01:24,160 --> 02:01:27,760
Speaker 1: It worked hard for that job, and there was a shift.

2437
02:01:28,000 --> 02:01:30,160
Speaker 2: And when I tell you those three days of surrender

2438
02:01:30,480 --> 02:01:33,280
Speaker 2: and quietness and God getting you to listen and going

2439
02:01:33,320 --> 02:01:37,640
Speaker 2: through this metamorphois, it was very challenging, very challenging and

2440
02:01:37,680 --> 02:01:40,440
Speaker 2: deep debilitating. Like he said, I bring some softness to

2441
02:01:40,520 --> 02:01:45,960
Speaker 2: it because it was very hard, and my children during COVID,

2442
02:01:46,400 --> 02:01:48,839
Speaker 2: they seen how hard that was. They seen the difference

2443
02:01:48,880 --> 02:01:51,720
Speaker 2: in their mother. And so just one day me and Addison,

2444
02:01:51,840 --> 02:01:56,000
Speaker 2: me and Roy were laying in the bed. My son said,

2445
02:01:56,160 --> 02:01:57,680
Speaker 2: my son and daughter said, hey, can you come do

2446
02:01:57,880 --> 02:01:59,840
Speaker 2: a TikTok video with us? And we didn't know not

2447
02:02:00,120 --> 02:02:03,600
Speaker 2: We didn't know what TikTok was, you know, like what

2448
02:02:04,120 --> 02:02:07,080
Speaker 2: tikto all? I knew Instagram and Facebook. And we went

2449
02:02:07,120 --> 02:02:09,560
Speaker 2: out in the living room and they set the camera

2450
02:02:09,720 --> 02:02:11,520
Speaker 2: up and we started doing these little games or these

2451
02:02:11,560 --> 02:02:15,680
Speaker 2: little challenges, and so it brought me so much joy.

2452
02:02:15,760 --> 02:02:18,200
Speaker 2: I thought, this is so fun, and so I asked

2453
02:02:18,240 --> 02:02:19,800
Speaker 2: the kids to download it on my phone. And so

2454
02:02:19,880 --> 02:02:22,560
Speaker 2: I was scrolling and you were just saying about everything.

2455
02:02:22,560 --> 02:02:23,440
Speaker 2: I said, I didn't have to work.

2456
02:02:23,680 --> 02:02:24,800
Speaker 4: Put on my phone.

2457
02:02:26,960 --> 02:02:29,520
Speaker 2: And I was like, and I saw and I was

2458
02:02:29,600 --> 02:02:31,760
Speaker 2: just a watcher at first, and I was just I

2459
02:02:31,920 --> 02:02:33,440
Speaker 2: was like, man, there are so many people in the

2460
02:02:33,480 --> 02:02:35,600
Speaker 2: world that's grown like we are the new grown phones.

2461
02:02:36,120 --> 02:02:38,080
Speaker 2: And I was like, it is grown folks who have

2462
02:02:38,400 --> 02:02:40,480
Speaker 2: a sense of humor, who are silly, Like I didn't

2463
02:02:40,520 --> 02:02:42,680
Speaker 2: think people could be as silly as me. Sept my

2464
02:02:42,720 --> 02:02:45,800
Speaker 2: friend Chante, I did not think people could be as

2465
02:02:45,920 --> 02:02:49,920
Speaker 2: childlike as I as I currently am and have always

2466
02:02:50,000 --> 02:02:53,680
Speaker 2: been in my life. And I was like, I want

2467
02:02:53,720 --> 02:02:55,800
Speaker 2: to download, I want to actually make a video. And

2468
02:02:55,880 --> 02:02:58,400
Speaker 2: so I started making videos. And I didn't know anything

2469
02:02:58,400 --> 02:03:00,240
Speaker 2: about virality. I didn't know any of them that that

2470
02:03:00,480 --> 02:03:03,280
Speaker 2: was not my concern. I was just having fun and

2471
02:03:03,400 --> 02:03:06,720
Speaker 2: it made me feel good. And one day I was

2472
02:03:06,800 --> 02:03:09,920
Speaker 2: coming from uh I was coming from therapy, and I

2473
02:03:10,080 --> 02:03:12,280
Speaker 2: was feeling like they said, what Missilla, I was feeling

2474
02:03:12,360 --> 02:03:12,960
Speaker 2: mighty bad.

2475
02:03:15,720 --> 02:03:17,680
Speaker 1: I was feeling mighty bad. Miss Celi.

2476
02:03:19,680 --> 02:03:23,040
Speaker 2: And I came home and I turned on I turned

2477
02:03:23,040 --> 02:03:24,960
Speaker 2: on the camera, and I was I had looked at first.

2478
02:03:25,000 --> 02:03:27,080
Speaker 2: I looked at my in the mirror, and I was like,

2479
02:03:27,720 --> 02:03:30,080
Speaker 2: you have just let yourself go. And my grandma used

2480
02:03:30,080 --> 02:03:31,960
Speaker 2: always say, my aunt Passes used always say road hard

2481
02:03:32,000 --> 02:03:33,960
Speaker 2: and put up with boo child, you can't get no

2482
02:03:34,080 --> 02:03:36,200
Speaker 2: rougher than road hard, and put up with that means

2483
02:03:36,240 --> 02:03:39,120
Speaker 2: you're tied and you're busted. And so that's how I

2484
02:03:39,880 --> 02:03:42,280
Speaker 2: hard and put up with You Ever see old rag

2485
02:03:42,320 --> 02:03:43,600
Speaker 2: you twist and it get drunk, you.

2486
02:03:43,640 --> 02:03:44,160
Speaker 4: Open it up.

2487
02:03:44,760 --> 02:03:48,800
Speaker 1: Road hard and put up with rodd like old.

2488
02:03:48,720 --> 02:03:52,000
Speaker 2: Dirty dish cloth that's what I was feeling. I was

2489
02:03:52,120 --> 02:03:54,600
Speaker 2: embodying that, and I knew that I was letting myself go.

2490
02:03:55,200 --> 02:03:57,760
Speaker 2: So instead of in that moment, like you know, just

2491
02:03:58,520 --> 02:04:01,680
Speaker 2: you know, getting upset and being down, I was just

2492
02:04:02,360 --> 02:04:03,960
Speaker 2: I was just crying. And God just told me to

2493
02:04:03,960 --> 02:04:06,280
Speaker 2: turn on the camera. So I turned on the camera

2494
02:04:07,240 --> 02:04:10,320
Speaker 2: and I started telling a story. And I had envisioned

2495
02:04:10,360 --> 02:04:13,160
Speaker 2: this story because I'm a great storyteller. I was like,

2496
02:04:13,400 --> 02:04:15,200
Speaker 2: I remember when my mom came to the school one

2497
02:04:15,280 --> 02:04:17,480
Speaker 2: day and I was embarrassed, and I told everybody that

2498
02:04:17,560 --> 02:04:20,720
Speaker 2: she was in my mama, and then she came back

2499
02:04:20,760 --> 02:04:24,160
Speaker 2: to the school and then she was you know, Jane Kennedy,

2500
02:04:24,560 --> 02:04:28,520
Speaker 2: and I was like, that's my mama. Well the story

2501
02:04:28,720 --> 02:04:35,680
Speaker 2: ends with me without my wig. That video had went viral,

2502
02:04:35,760 --> 02:04:37,360
Speaker 2: Like I didn't know what viral was. All I know

2503
02:04:37,520 --> 02:04:39,560
Speaker 2: is that people started calling me and my phone was

2504
02:04:39,600 --> 02:04:42,280
Speaker 2: going crazy and I'm like, what is going on? And

2505
02:04:42,760 --> 02:04:44,920
Speaker 2: people were calling me from across the country and people

2506
02:04:44,920 --> 02:04:45,680
Speaker 2: were like, hey, is this you?

2507
02:04:46,040 --> 02:04:46,640
Speaker 5: Like is this you?

2508
02:04:46,800 --> 02:04:49,480
Speaker 2: And I'm like and even my manager was like ah,

2509
02:04:49,560 --> 02:04:51,520
Speaker 2: And so now I'm thinking, like I'm a home on disability,

2510
02:04:51,560 --> 02:04:54,400
Speaker 2: Like I'm still working, I'm still got the side. I'm like, uh,

2511
02:04:56,280 --> 02:04:59,160
Speaker 2: if you're talking real well, speech therapy, it looked like

2512
02:04:59,200 --> 02:05:02,240
Speaker 2: the speech therapy working, so we need you back working.

2513
02:05:03,160 --> 02:05:06,560
Speaker 2: So I was like, no, okay, all right, I'm like,

2514
02:05:06,640 --> 02:05:09,320
Speaker 2: what does this even mean? And I even asked my manager.

2515
02:05:09,320 --> 02:05:10,640
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm i gonna get in trouble or whatever.

2516
02:05:10,760 --> 02:05:12,800
Speaker 2: He's like, no, long as you don't, you know, long

2517
02:05:12,840 --> 02:05:13,080
Speaker 2: as you.

2518
02:05:13,120 --> 02:05:13,760
Speaker 1: Do what you're doing.

2519
02:05:14,360 --> 02:05:16,560
Speaker 2: And the people started asking for more of it, and

2520
02:05:16,600 --> 02:05:19,360
Speaker 2: people are like, can you tell more stories? And you know,

2521
02:05:19,480 --> 02:05:21,960
Speaker 2: I even feel like that sometimes I look bad. I'm

2522
02:05:22,000 --> 02:05:23,920
Speaker 2: not shamed, you know. And people just started and I

2523
02:05:24,000 --> 02:05:26,000
Speaker 2: started telling more stories and more stories.

2524
02:05:26,080 --> 02:05:29,080
Speaker 4: And how many views did that video get overall?

2525
02:05:29,720 --> 02:05:33,839
Speaker 2: Is like twenty million, twenty million, and that video goes viral.

2526
02:05:34,480 --> 02:05:36,720
Speaker 2: I can post that video right now. That video was

2527
02:05:36,720 --> 02:05:39,440
Speaker 2: back in twenty twenty. I can post that video right

2528
02:05:39,560 --> 02:05:43,480
Speaker 2: now today and it will go It'll go viral. Everybody

2529
02:05:43,520 --> 02:05:46,720
Speaker 2: who posts it goes viral, every voiceover it goes viral.

2530
02:05:48,000 --> 02:05:48,840
Speaker 4: Post that I'm gonna get that.

2531
02:05:49,560 --> 02:05:52,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm telling you yo, I don't care.

2532
02:05:53,840 --> 02:05:56,880
Speaker 4: Coming up on the podcast, want to just remind y'all

2533
02:05:56,960 --> 02:05:57,480
Speaker 4: of this video?

2534
02:05:58,040 --> 02:05:59,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, he said, And listen.

2535
02:05:59,160 --> 02:06:02,440
Speaker 2: We're viral, and then people started reaching out to me.

2536
02:06:02,480 --> 02:06:05,560
Speaker 2: Famous people started reaching out to me. A famous comedian

2537
02:06:05,600 --> 02:06:07,920
Speaker 2: reached out to me and asked me did I He said, hey,

2538
02:06:08,040 --> 02:06:10,960
Speaker 2: who's doing your writing for you? And I was like,

2539
02:06:11,240 --> 02:06:13,920
Speaker 2: I said, I didn't write that. I just that's off

2540
02:06:14,000 --> 02:06:15,920
Speaker 2: the riff. That just came off straight from my head.

2541
02:06:16,080 --> 02:06:17,800
Speaker 2: And he was like, you need to get on stage.

2542
02:06:18,800 --> 02:06:20,720
Speaker 2: And I'm like, and I've always like wanted to be

2543
02:06:21,120 --> 02:06:24,920
Speaker 2: a comedian and do all these things, but uh, it

2544
02:06:25,080 --> 02:06:25,879
Speaker 2: just wasn't realistic.

2545
02:06:25,920 --> 02:06:27,000
Speaker 1: But they like, you want to be a clown. You

2546
02:06:27,000 --> 02:06:28,320
Speaker 1: don't want to be a comedian. That's what you want

2547
02:06:28,320 --> 02:06:29,560
Speaker 1: to do. You want to be a clown, joined a

2548
02:06:29,600 --> 02:06:35,920
Speaker 1: circus to get you a good job, talking about you

2549
02:06:36,000 --> 02:06:39,600
Speaker 1: want to be a comedian. Be out in there, la

2550
02:06:40,160 --> 02:06:44,600
Speaker 1: row talking about you want to be a comedian.

2551
02:06:46,320 --> 02:06:50,120
Speaker 5: I love dream be a nurse.

2552
02:06:51,200 --> 02:06:51,920
Speaker 1: You want to be a nurse.

2553
02:06:51,960 --> 02:06:54,680
Speaker 2: You be a nurse, Get you a steady job so

2554
02:06:54,800 --> 02:06:56,840
Speaker 2: you could do all your life talking to a clown.

2555
02:06:58,080 --> 02:07:01,600
Speaker 1: And you are, yeah, horus to do that.

2556
02:07:04,080 --> 02:07:06,760
Speaker 2: But but it was always in the back of my mind.

2557
02:07:06,760 --> 02:07:10,360
Speaker 2: And so I tried comedy. I did comedy and I

2558
02:07:10,520 --> 02:07:14,400
Speaker 2: was successful. I was successful in comedy, and so I

2559
02:07:14,560 --> 02:07:18,040
Speaker 2: knew in that stand up I did stand up I

2560
02:07:18,120 --> 02:07:20,880
Speaker 2: did and got a standing ovation did so well.

2561
02:07:21,200 --> 02:07:21,920
Speaker 4: Comedy school.

2562
02:07:22,120 --> 02:07:25,000
Speaker 2: I went to comedy so because I got serious, because

2563
02:07:25,080 --> 02:07:27,200
Speaker 2: because here's the thing I'm gonna I'm so, I'm I'm

2564
02:07:27,240 --> 02:07:30,280
Speaker 2: a scholar by so if you're gonna do something, do something.

2565
02:07:30,320 --> 02:07:31,640
Speaker 2: So even when I asked, they were like, just go

2566
02:07:31,720 --> 02:07:33,920
Speaker 2: to open mic, and I'm like, go to an open mic.

2567
02:07:34,040 --> 02:07:35,840
Speaker 1: No, I need studies. What are you talking about. I

2568
02:07:35,960 --> 02:07:38,240
Speaker 1: need to know the history of comedy. I need to know.

2569
02:07:38,680 --> 02:07:40,320
Speaker 1: I need to know the history, and I need to

2570
02:07:40,400 --> 02:07:41,040
Speaker 1: know who.

2571
02:07:41,000 --> 02:07:43,280
Speaker 2: Was the first comedian and how did it start, who

2572
02:07:43,320 --> 02:07:44,320
Speaker 2: was the first person to laugh?

2573
02:07:44,400 --> 02:07:46,600
Speaker 1: I need to know this and what made him laugh?

2574
02:07:48,120 --> 02:07:55,600
Speaker 1: All these things dissect the whole thing like comedy. So yeah,

2575
02:07:55,640 --> 02:07:56,280
Speaker 1: why did they laugh?

2576
02:07:56,400 --> 02:07:56,640
Speaker 3: Listen?

2577
02:07:56,720 --> 02:07:59,520
Speaker 1: I need the antidote. I need the history, you know.

2578
02:07:59,680 --> 02:08:03,000
Speaker 1: And so so I went to school. Well here's what happened.

2579
02:08:03,320 --> 02:08:04,240
Speaker 1: I didn't go to school.

2580
02:08:04,240 --> 02:08:06,400
Speaker 2: Immediately, I was like, I'm not going to no open

2581
02:08:06,440 --> 02:08:09,120
Speaker 2: mic because I didn't know that comedy school even existed.

2582
02:08:09,160 --> 02:08:11,480
Speaker 1: I didn't even want. Somebody said just do an open mic.

2583
02:08:11,520 --> 02:08:16,000
Speaker 2: I didn't do any more research, and one day, I

2584
02:08:16,080 --> 02:08:18,640
Speaker 2: got a I got a d M from Dallas Comedy

2585
02:08:18,680 --> 02:08:22,400
Speaker 2: Club and they said, hey, we found out that you're local,

2586
02:08:23,040 --> 02:08:25,400
Speaker 2: and we want some help with our social media, and

2587
02:08:25,480 --> 02:08:27,600
Speaker 2: if you help us with our social media, will give

2588
02:08:27,600 --> 02:08:29,040
Speaker 2: you all the free classes.

2589
02:08:28,680 --> 02:08:31,040
Speaker 1: That you want. And so I'm like, look at gods

2590
02:08:31,360 --> 02:08:31,760
Speaker 1: for real.

2591
02:08:31,960 --> 02:08:34,160
Speaker 2: So I'm like, I went and I did the classes,

2592
02:08:34,200 --> 02:08:36,120
Speaker 2: and I said, I just needed to because I know

2593
02:08:36,160 --> 02:08:39,040
Speaker 2: there's a there's a there's a it's almost like mathematics.

2594
02:08:39,640 --> 02:08:41,800
Speaker 2: You know, it's an art to comedy. So I needed

2595
02:08:41,840 --> 02:08:44,480
Speaker 2: to know that art and how how how you formalize

2596
02:08:44,640 --> 02:08:47,680
Speaker 2: the somatics of a joke? And so I learned, and

2597
02:08:47,840 --> 02:08:52,440
Speaker 2: we had a graduation event and so everybody got up

2598
02:08:52,680 --> 02:08:54,680
Speaker 2: and did their stand up and so when I did mine,

2599
02:08:54,720 --> 02:08:56,280
Speaker 2: I got up and I got a stand in ovation.

2600
02:08:56,800 --> 02:08:59,160
Speaker 2: And after the show, all these people were walking up

2601
02:08:59,160 --> 02:09:00,680
Speaker 2: to me. They said, hey, well, when is your next show?

2602
02:09:00,680 --> 02:09:02,720
Speaker 1: And I'm like, next show? I have no next show.

2603
02:09:03,080 --> 02:09:05,640
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm a student. And a lady said, student,

2604
02:09:06,640 --> 02:09:08,920
Speaker 2: we thought you were the headliner. We thought you came

2605
02:09:09,000 --> 02:09:11,200
Speaker 2: out with the graduates. We thought they brought you out

2606
02:09:11,280 --> 02:09:13,640
Speaker 2: with the graduates. And I was like, and even a

2607
02:09:13,680 --> 02:09:15,840
Speaker 2: teacher was like, because you know, he had told me

2608
02:09:15,960 --> 02:09:17,760
Speaker 2: to change a joke because I had I had a

2609
02:09:17,840 --> 02:09:19,240
Speaker 2: real rough joke cause I'm kind of like on the

2610
02:09:19,320 --> 02:09:22,440
Speaker 2: Chappelle side. You know, I'm a prior Chappelle type of comedian.

2611
02:09:22,520 --> 02:09:25,360
Speaker 2: You know, I'm not blue, but you know I can

2612
02:09:25,440 --> 02:09:28,840
Speaker 2: go there, and and so he had, you know, told me,

2613
02:09:28,880 --> 02:09:30,480
Speaker 2: I said, they want me to change the joke. And

2614
02:09:30,840 --> 02:09:33,000
Speaker 2: it's it's thirty minutes before the show and they want

2615
02:09:33,120 --> 02:09:35,640
Speaker 2: this is a major part of this joke. This carries

2616
02:09:35,720 --> 02:09:36,680
Speaker 2: the joke. I cannot.

2617
02:09:36,800 --> 02:09:37,520
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do.

2618
02:09:38,000 --> 02:09:40,360
Speaker 2: And so my husband was like, so he became a comedian,

2619
02:09:40,640 --> 02:09:42,240
Speaker 2: so he's like, you can. He said, you can do it.

2620
02:09:42,280 --> 02:09:43,640
Speaker 2: And my daughter told me, she said, Mama, you could

2621
02:09:43,640 --> 02:09:44,760
Speaker 2: do it because I was about to cry on the

2622
02:09:44,800 --> 02:09:46,200
Speaker 2: way from the club because I knew I had a

2623
02:09:46,240 --> 02:09:48,520
Speaker 2: show in like in about at about thirty minutes, and

2624
02:09:48,680 --> 02:09:50,560
Speaker 2: so I was like, I don't know, I don't know

2625
02:09:50,600 --> 02:09:52,720
Speaker 2: how to do this, and so bo it was just

2626
02:09:52,800 --> 02:09:55,400
Speaker 2: working different things, and he's like, and so I finally

2627
02:09:55,480 --> 02:09:57,800
Speaker 2: came up with something and I used it and it

2628
02:09:57,960 --> 02:10:00,320
Speaker 2: was the best part of the joke.

2629
02:10:00,920 --> 02:10:04,320
Speaker 1: And I was you and I was so grateful.

2630
02:10:04,800 --> 02:10:07,360
Speaker 2: I was so grateful because it taught me how to pivot,

2631
02:10:07,800 --> 02:10:09,640
Speaker 2: because if you go to a comedy club and they say, hey,

2632
02:10:09,640 --> 02:10:11,080
Speaker 2: you can't do this set, then what you're gonna do.

2633
02:10:11,080 --> 02:10:14,120
Speaker 1: You're gonna walk off and go home. You got to

2634
02:10:14,120 --> 02:10:16,000
Speaker 1: get up and tell the jokes. And so it was

2635
02:10:16,080 --> 02:10:17,480
Speaker 1: one of the best experiences.

2636
02:10:17,520 --> 02:10:19,160
Speaker 2: But it also told me that I was walking in

2637
02:10:19,200 --> 02:10:21,600
Speaker 2: God's calling because everything that I always wanted a little

2638
02:10:21,640 --> 02:10:25,120
Speaker 2: girl had came back full circle. And so the only

2639
02:10:25,240 --> 02:10:27,520
Speaker 2: difference is God was like, Hey, You're gonna use this

2640
02:10:27,600 --> 02:10:29,760
Speaker 2: in a different way because the person that I want

2641
02:10:29,800 --> 02:10:31,520
Speaker 2: you to talk to is a different kind of person.

2642
02:10:31,920 --> 02:10:34,320
Speaker 2: And so now when I'm disarming people, when I talk

2643
02:10:34,320 --> 02:10:36,640
Speaker 2: about health and wellness and I'm talking about, hey, you know,

2644
02:10:36,680 --> 02:10:40,040
Speaker 2: and I say something really hard and dark, people listen like,

2645
02:10:40,120 --> 02:10:43,360
Speaker 2: lipsticks looks better when you're alive, you know, And people

2646
02:10:43,400 --> 02:10:45,760
Speaker 2: are like, well, what hold on, wait, what do you

2647
02:10:45,840 --> 02:10:48,640
Speaker 2: mean lipstick looks better when you're alive. And then people

2648
02:10:48,880 --> 02:10:51,000
Speaker 2: and people will start talking to me and saying, hey,

2649
02:10:51,000 --> 02:10:52,400
Speaker 2: I want to change my health and I want to

2650
02:10:52,480 --> 02:10:57,080
Speaker 2: do this, And so I've used humor to make health

2651
02:10:58,160 --> 02:11:01,000
Speaker 2: light that make people want it, take care of themselves

2652
02:11:01,120 --> 02:11:03,360
Speaker 2: and then also embody the things that we have as

2653
02:11:03,400 --> 02:11:06,360
Speaker 2: a family and just being transparent and authentic about it

2654
02:11:06,440 --> 02:11:08,879
Speaker 2: and not having to be like, you know, like Instagram,

2655
02:11:08,960 --> 02:11:12,040
Speaker 2: Like I said, Instagram, you know, but I'm like, I'm

2656
02:11:12,080 --> 02:11:14,800
Speaker 2: an imperfect person. I'm not perfect, and I don't want

2657
02:11:14,800 --> 02:11:17,080
Speaker 2: to show up that way. I show up as myself

2658
02:11:17,240 --> 02:11:20,040
Speaker 2: every day, whether I have my bonnet on, whatever that is,

2659
02:11:20,200 --> 02:11:22,080
Speaker 2: and I want people to be that free too.

2660
02:11:22,920 --> 02:11:25,480
Speaker 1: And it's just gone up from there.

2661
02:11:25,560 --> 02:11:27,360
Speaker 2: And so I've been able to have the opportunity to

2662
02:11:27,480 --> 02:11:31,240
Speaker 2: travel globally, I've been able to get some of the

2663
02:11:31,320 --> 02:11:35,280
Speaker 2: biggest brand deals and it is just really changed my

2664
02:11:35,360 --> 02:11:38,200
Speaker 2: life in a way that I didn't know possible.

2665
02:11:38,280 --> 02:11:38,840
Speaker 4: But I do know.

2666
02:11:38,920 --> 02:11:40,680
Speaker 2: Those are the words that I've always spoke, Those are

2667
02:11:40,680 --> 02:11:42,040
Speaker 2: the words that I've always affirmed.

2668
02:11:42,160 --> 02:11:44,880
Speaker 1: Just God make me a light in this world. Yes,

2669
02:11:45,080 --> 02:11:49,920
Speaker 1: so people, you can talk, you can talk in me

2670
02:11:50,920 --> 02:11:54,040
Speaker 1: and I can talk to them. That's good, and that's good,

2671
02:11:54,240 --> 02:11:55,800
Speaker 1: and that's what He's done.

2672
02:11:56,080 --> 02:12:01,400
Speaker 3: You literally become his puppet and he's your ventuiloquist to

2673
02:12:01,520 --> 02:12:06,200
Speaker 3: speak through you. That's a beautiful thing. Because Seans is

2674
02:12:06,240 --> 02:12:11,840
Speaker 3: gonna put on some clothes. That's what a catchphrase if

2675
02:12:11,880 --> 02:12:14,040
Speaker 3: you know you know, listen, let me ask you this.

2676
02:12:14,440 --> 02:12:17,240
Speaker 4: What for the people that don't know? How many followers you.

2677
02:12:17,280 --> 02:12:20,000
Speaker 1: Have on TikTok I have one point four million?

2678
02:12:20,200 --> 02:12:21,280
Speaker 5: How many have on Instagram?

2679
02:12:21,880 --> 02:12:23,120
Speaker 1: Almost one point four million?

2680
02:12:23,520 --> 02:12:24,880
Speaker 4: And then at Facebook?

2681
02:12:25,000 --> 02:12:26,440
Speaker 5: How much you had before it? I had?

2682
02:12:26,600 --> 02:12:29,720
Speaker 2: I had, I had almost a million, about a million,

2683
02:12:30,040 --> 02:12:35,920
Speaker 2: and somebody had me in February and uh we are

2684
02:12:36,080 --> 02:12:37,800
Speaker 2: just back at almost five hundred thousand.

2685
02:12:38,880 --> 02:12:44,960
Speaker 3: So could you imagine? I know you probably can't because

2686
02:12:44,960 --> 02:12:48,800
Speaker 3: that's just those numbers sound ridiculous to know that you

2687
02:12:49,040 --> 02:12:54,280
Speaker 3: have over four million people that are concerned and interested

2688
02:12:54,400 --> 02:12:55,840
Speaker 3: in the content you put out.

2689
02:12:55,960 --> 02:12:57,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a lot of people.

2690
02:12:57,440 --> 02:13:01,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of responsibility. But those people were designed

2691
02:13:01,160 --> 02:13:04,680
Speaker 2: for me. Those people are my calling. And like I

2692
02:13:04,800 --> 02:13:07,400
Speaker 2: tell everybody else, like everybody has a calling in life,

2693
02:13:07,440 --> 02:13:10,320
Speaker 2: and there's a person that is designed for you and

2694
02:13:10,600 --> 02:13:14,680
Speaker 2: only you can deliver that message absolutely, And so the

2695
02:13:14,800 --> 02:13:17,000
Speaker 2: people that you know, at first, I was like, hey,

2696
02:13:17,160 --> 02:13:19,000
Speaker 2: you know, people were telling me you got a niche

2697
02:13:19,080 --> 02:13:22,200
Speaker 2: down you. You know, you can't be going into the

2698
02:13:22,240 --> 02:13:24,680
Speaker 2: corporate world and being silly. You can't be doing you know,

2699
02:13:24,760 --> 02:13:28,360
Speaker 2: you can't be doing keynotes with you know, pharmaceutical companies and.

2700
02:13:29,280 --> 02:13:32,800
Speaker 1: Being silly on social media, and and I thought that

2701
02:13:32,920 --> 02:13:33,560
Speaker 1: for a long time.

2702
02:13:33,600 --> 02:13:35,840
Speaker 2: I was trying to change up until I was working

2703
02:13:35,880 --> 02:13:39,200
Speaker 2: with a pharmaceutical company want you, And well, at first

2704
02:13:39,200 --> 02:13:41,040
Speaker 2: they didn't even really know they wanted me because of

2705
02:13:41,080 --> 02:13:42,160
Speaker 2: my health story.

2706
02:13:42,200 --> 02:13:44,400
Speaker 4: And so they didn't know about your tiktoks and stuff.

2707
02:13:44,520 --> 02:13:46,920
Speaker 1: They listen, it's so crazy, so they did not.

2708
02:13:47,120 --> 02:13:50,800
Speaker 2: It was basically because I was doing health advocacy and

2709
02:13:50,880 --> 02:13:53,440
Speaker 2: I was speaking, and you know, American Heart Association had

2710
02:13:53,480 --> 02:13:56,480
Speaker 2: me on some campaigns and I was doing videos about

2711
02:13:56,600 --> 02:13:59,800
Speaker 2: health and wellness, especially on linked that's on LinkedIn. Yes,

2712
02:14:00,000 --> 02:14:01,480
Speaker 2: a lot of those I would being serious because at

2713
02:14:01,520 --> 02:14:03,680
Speaker 2: that time I was still healing. And so the thing

2714
02:14:03,720 --> 02:14:05,880
Speaker 2: they always tell you about if you haven't healed from something,

2715
02:14:05,920 --> 02:14:06,800
Speaker 2: you can't talk about it.

2716
02:14:07,080 --> 02:14:08,960
Speaker 1: But the thing was is that I was always crying

2717
02:14:08,960 --> 02:14:09,760
Speaker 1: because I wasn't healed.

2718
02:14:09,800 --> 02:14:11,280
Speaker 2: So I was telling my story and it was very

2719
02:14:11,320 --> 02:14:14,160
Speaker 2: impactful because of the tears and you know, all these things,

2720
02:14:14,760 --> 02:14:16,600
Speaker 2: and it was honest, it was what I was going through.

2721
02:14:17,120 --> 02:14:19,720
Speaker 2: And so I come on this call with all these

2722
02:14:19,720 --> 02:14:22,600
Speaker 2: pharmaceutical you know, reps, and I'm telling my story and

2723
02:14:22,720 --> 02:14:25,080
Speaker 2: so this guy asked me this question, and it was

2724
02:14:25,160 --> 02:14:28,040
Speaker 2: kind of like a weird question, and I come out.

2725
02:14:28,000 --> 02:14:30,360
Speaker 1: With some of the like a raw like just you know,

2726
02:14:30,880 --> 02:14:34,320
Speaker 1: the joke is just yeah, it's terrible.

2727
02:14:34,400 --> 02:14:37,160
Speaker 2: And so it was very very dark and everybody so

2728
02:14:37,240 --> 02:14:39,839
Speaker 2: I see everybody on the screen read it gets quiet.

2729
02:14:40,960 --> 02:14:42,520
Speaker 1: I tell him about it. I'm like, oh my god,

2730
02:14:42,560 --> 02:14:42,880
Speaker 1: they're not.

2731
02:14:42,960 --> 02:14:46,160
Speaker 2: I don't even know why I said that, but I

2732
02:14:46,240 --> 02:14:49,120
Speaker 2: was being myself. I was like, I don't They're never

2733
02:14:49,200 --> 02:14:52,600
Speaker 2: gonna call me again. And I was just so like

2734
02:14:52,720 --> 02:14:54,400
Speaker 2: I was just I felt defeated because this was like

2735
02:14:54,560 --> 02:14:57,360
Speaker 2: like my first big opportunity and I was getting paid.

2736
02:14:58,680 --> 02:15:00,760
Speaker 1: It was actually being a consultant.

2737
02:15:01,640 --> 02:15:05,720
Speaker 2: So about five or six days later, Phyllis facilitator calls

2738
02:15:05,800 --> 02:15:09,560
Speaker 2: me and he's like, hey, let me tell you something.

2739
02:15:09,880 --> 02:15:11,800
Speaker 1: When I tell you we got off that phone, we

2740
02:15:12,200 --> 02:15:18,920
Speaker 1: was yelling and hollering and crying. You are funny. You

2741
02:15:19,040 --> 02:15:19,840
Speaker 1: are hilarious.

2742
02:15:19,920 --> 02:15:21,480
Speaker 4: So when you said it, everybody covered.

2743
02:15:21,480 --> 02:15:22,600
Speaker 1: They everybody covered.

2744
02:15:22,680 --> 02:15:25,280
Speaker 2: The reaction was like I can't believe, Like this is

2745
02:15:25,320 --> 02:15:28,320
Speaker 2: such a professional setting, like why was she Like what

2746
02:15:28,520 --> 02:15:28,720
Speaker 2: is she?

2747
02:15:28,880 --> 02:15:30,440
Speaker 1: Like, Like I can't believe she said it?

2748
02:15:30,680 --> 02:15:31,640
Speaker 5: And what did you say?

2749
02:15:33,640 --> 02:15:37,160
Speaker 2: So this guy's so this we were talking about health

2750
02:15:37,200 --> 02:15:39,240
Speaker 2: and wellness and importance of like going to the doctor

2751
02:15:39,280 --> 02:15:41,160
Speaker 2: and hospitals and how people don't have time to go

2752
02:15:41,240 --> 02:15:44,240
Speaker 2: to the hospital. And so he was like, I really

2753
02:15:44,280 --> 02:15:48,880
Speaker 2: don't have time to go to the hospital. And I

2754
02:15:49,000 --> 02:15:50,040
Speaker 2: was like, well, do you got time to go to

2755
02:15:50,120 --> 02:15:52,560
Speaker 2: the casket? You get in the casket. You're getting the casket. Listen,

2756
02:15:52,600 --> 02:15:54,000
Speaker 2: I can I can get your bitu are ready?

2757
02:15:54,040 --> 02:15:54,240
Speaker 4: I can?

2758
02:15:54,600 --> 02:15:56,560
Speaker 2: You know, I can get your makeup? Can I can

2759
02:15:56,600 --> 02:15:57,920
Speaker 2: do all those things for you? You know, if you

2760
02:15:57,920 --> 02:15:59,360
Speaker 2: ain't got time to go to the hospital, you show

2761
02:15:59,400 --> 02:16:01,080
Speaker 2: got time to go. You know, you don't come back

2762
02:16:01,120 --> 02:16:01,320
Speaker 2: from that.

2763
02:16:02,080 --> 02:16:05,720
Speaker 5: And so he he was just like he was one

2764
02:16:05,720 --> 02:16:06,360
Speaker 5: of the head people.

2765
02:16:06,480 --> 02:16:08,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, well he was like one of the like one

2766
02:16:08,360 --> 02:16:09,560
Speaker 2: of the people on the cart sole he was like,

2767
02:16:11,320 --> 02:16:13,880
Speaker 2: and everybody else was like and everybody and then and

2768
02:16:13,920 --> 02:16:16,480
Speaker 2: there's no I'm the only woman to color on this screen, right,

2769
02:16:16,600 --> 02:16:18,880
Speaker 2: so nobody else It's just me. I'm the only putting,

2770
02:16:19,160 --> 02:16:21,800
Speaker 2: melodated person on the screen. And I was just like,

2771
02:16:22,160 --> 02:16:23,960
Speaker 2: and after why I got to going because you know

2772
02:16:24,040 --> 02:16:29,560
Speaker 2: I run, Yeah, the punches and punching, like I'm hitting punch.

2773
02:16:31,280 --> 02:16:33,400
Speaker 1: Every three minutes. What he said, every three seconds they laugh,

2774
02:16:33,520 --> 02:16:35,400
Speaker 1: you know, you know that's in my head and.

2775
02:16:36,920 --> 02:16:40,120
Speaker 2: I'm punching yeah, and and everybody's like, oh my, And

2776
02:16:40,600 --> 02:16:43,200
Speaker 2: he was like, when I tell you, he said, listen,

2777
02:16:44,200 --> 02:16:46,959
Speaker 2: when we do our meetings in the future, I.

2778
02:16:47,040 --> 02:16:48,720
Speaker 1: Want you to do them like that. I want you

2779
02:16:48,760 --> 02:16:49,480
Speaker 1: to do it just like that.

2780
02:16:51,440 --> 02:16:54,120
Speaker 2: And I was like, but God, God is allowing me

2781
02:16:54,240 --> 02:16:57,320
Speaker 2: to be one hundred percent meet and no matter what settings.

2782
02:16:57,360 --> 02:17:00,400
Speaker 2: And so now, even with American Heart Associates, I was

2783
02:17:00,600 --> 02:17:03,680
Speaker 2: not only the first comedian, but the first comedian, first woman,

2784
02:17:03,760 --> 02:17:07,520
Speaker 2: first black comedian to actually come in and do a

2785
02:17:07,640 --> 02:17:13,600
Speaker 2: stand up set for their God Red Women, Red Women

2786
02:17:13,680 --> 02:17:17,119
Speaker 2: here in Dallas on a national.

2787
02:17:17,320 --> 02:17:19,320
Speaker 4: Huge and so huge congratulations.

2788
02:17:19,440 --> 02:17:19,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you.

2789
02:17:20,160 --> 02:17:23,320
Speaker 2: So now I know, you know, I am truly walking

2790
02:17:23,400 --> 02:17:28,080
Speaker 2: in my purpose confidently, and the only person I got

2791
02:17:28,200 --> 02:17:30,880
Speaker 2: to answer to is God. And I have somebody who

2792
02:17:31,080 --> 02:17:34,960
Speaker 2: supports me wholeheartedly in that and always has always done that. Like,

2793
02:17:35,040 --> 02:17:37,120
Speaker 2: no matter if he doesn't degree, He's like, listen, I

2794
02:17:37,160 --> 02:17:38,400
Speaker 2: know you're gonna do it anyway.

2795
02:17:38,200 --> 02:17:43,200
Speaker 5: So it don't matter, He's gonna do it anyway. Do

2796
02:17:43,680 --> 02:17:44,440
Speaker 5: your thing. Yeah.

2797
02:17:44,680 --> 02:17:45,640
Speaker 4: How does it feel though?

2798
02:17:45,959 --> 02:17:49,200
Speaker 3: As we wrap up to be married for this many

2799
02:17:49,320 --> 02:17:52,520
Speaker 3: years where I can venture to say, because I see

2800
02:17:52,520 --> 02:17:54,640
Speaker 3: how y'all act with each other, your best friends.

2801
02:17:54,800 --> 02:17:57,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's amazing because I've seen it my entire life.

2802
02:17:58,360 --> 02:18:01,800
Speaker 2: So now I'm actually living and what I've always witnessed

2803
02:18:01,840 --> 02:18:03,520
Speaker 2: my whole in life, what I was always trying to

2804
02:18:03,600 --> 02:18:06,240
Speaker 2: run from from something that was so great and not

2805
02:18:06,680 --> 02:18:08,480
Speaker 2: let me say, I won't say all great.

2806
02:18:08,520 --> 02:18:09,520
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna tell that lie.

2807
02:18:09,920 --> 02:18:13,680
Speaker 2: But I did see as a young you know too,

2808
02:18:13,840 --> 02:18:15,320
Speaker 2: you know, you get older and you start finding out

2809
02:18:15,320 --> 02:18:16,039
Speaker 2: that what they were doing.

2810
02:18:16,440 --> 02:18:19,800
Speaker 1: But but as a as a child.

2811
02:18:19,879 --> 02:18:25,480
Speaker 2: Growing up, I saw stability, I saw love, I saw affirmation.

2812
02:18:25,600 --> 02:18:27,600
Speaker 2: I said all those I seen all those things. And

2813
02:18:27,840 --> 02:18:29,880
Speaker 2: you know, and like I said, there's nothing perfect. You

2814
02:18:30,000 --> 02:18:32,520
Speaker 2: go through ups and downs, you know, but the thing

2815
02:18:32,640 --> 02:18:35,320
Speaker 2: is is being able to communicate and being able to

2816
02:18:35,440 --> 02:18:39,000
Speaker 2: understand each other, like I can say, and he has never.

2817
02:18:39,560 --> 02:18:41,320
Speaker 2: It was only one time he raised his voice at me,

2818
02:18:41,320 --> 02:18:42,760
Speaker 2: and that's because he was arguing with another man and

2819
02:18:42,800 --> 02:18:44,640
Speaker 2: I got in. I tried, I got in, you know,

2820
02:18:44,720 --> 02:18:46,920
Speaker 2: and he's like, hey, my daddy told me. My Daddy's

2821
02:18:46,920 --> 02:18:47,880
Speaker 2: like you don't, you don't do that.

2822
02:18:48,280 --> 02:18:54,200
Speaker 1: He was in his right. Everybody growling. He was within

2823
02:18:54,320 --> 02:18:54,680
Speaker 1: his right.

2824
02:18:54,920 --> 02:18:58,040
Speaker 2: But the entire time we have been married, he's never

2825
02:18:58,160 --> 02:18:59,760
Speaker 2: raised his voice in me. He is a never and

2826
02:18:59,800 --> 02:19:07,560
Speaker 2: I can't say I but thereat he is always. But

2827
02:19:07,680 --> 02:19:11,480
Speaker 2: he is always. You can't have two people highland. But

2828
02:19:12,560 --> 02:19:13,880
Speaker 2: but that was through my stroke. You know, I was

2829
02:19:13,920 --> 02:19:16,280
Speaker 2: going through a lot of stuff. Blood pressure was high,

2830
02:19:16,360 --> 02:19:20,480
Speaker 2: bluster all but suregar high. You know you get on

2831
02:19:20,640 --> 02:19:26,520
Speaker 2: handle so much happens, This stuff happens everything, All my

2832
02:19:26,600 --> 02:19:32,720
Speaker 2: numbers messed up, attached to my numbers, hot, my voice

2833
02:19:32,760 --> 02:19:33,520
Speaker 2: high voice hot.

2834
02:19:33,879 --> 02:19:35,440
Speaker 1: So but he is always.

2835
02:19:35,959 --> 02:19:39,240
Speaker 2: He He has always been there and understanding me and

2836
02:19:39,920 --> 02:19:42,520
Speaker 2: met me where I was at in that and we've

2837
02:19:42,600 --> 02:19:43,600
Speaker 2: done both things.

2838
02:19:43,640 --> 02:19:44,480
Speaker 1: So it feels good.

2839
02:19:44,640 --> 02:19:47,320
Speaker 2: It feels good like now we are in our we're

2840
02:19:47,360 --> 02:19:51,039
Speaker 2: and he just retired October first, Uh and so now

2841
02:19:51,520 --> 02:19:52,840
Speaker 2: you know he said yesterday he said, you know, I

2842
02:19:52,920 --> 02:19:54,320
Speaker 2: was talking to my friends and he's like, I just

2843
02:19:54,520 --> 02:19:57,040
Speaker 2: enjoyed being home with my wife. We just be sitting talking, joking,

2844
02:19:57,240 --> 02:20:00,000
Speaker 2: looking at tiktoks, keeping up a bunch of foolish.

2845
02:20:00,040 --> 02:20:03,800
Speaker 1: It's the kids and there making TikTok. So oh my came.

2846
02:20:04,240 --> 02:20:09,040
Speaker 1: That means the time time, But god, you be talking.

2847
02:20:09,080 --> 02:20:09,840
Speaker 1: Don't you listen?

2848
02:20:11,360 --> 02:20:13,080
Speaker 4: Times fell off?

2849
02:20:13,520 --> 02:20:16,000
Speaker 1: Remember I used that sound.

2850
02:20:17,840 --> 02:20:23,280
Speaker 2: My god, my god, Yes, but I'm glad with my

2851
02:20:23,520 --> 02:20:29,680
Speaker 2: because it is attached to it. Let's go viral there.

2852
02:20:30,480 --> 02:20:33,280
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's just we're just it's just an amazing walk.

2853
02:20:33,320 --> 02:20:35,920
Speaker 2: And now we're just you know, we were just going down.

2854
02:20:36,040 --> 02:20:39,080
Speaker 2: We're just growing old together and now we're building legacy

2855
02:20:39,280 --> 02:20:43,720
Speaker 2: that we're building legacy and teaching our children what what

2856
02:20:44,000 --> 02:20:46,960
Speaker 2: what true marriage looks like? What true marriage looks like?

2857
02:20:47,240 --> 02:20:50,680
Speaker 2: You know, you know we we we've been so transparent.

2858
02:20:50,720 --> 02:20:52,920
Speaker 2: You know sometimes now people say stop saying that you

2859
02:20:53,280 --> 02:20:55,600
Speaker 2: what's the little thing people used to say marriage goes?

2860
02:20:55,680 --> 02:20:55,880
Speaker 3: Don't?

2861
02:20:56,959 --> 02:21:00,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, you you have to you have to

2862
02:21:00,760 --> 02:21:02,560
Speaker 1: witness it, but you also have to embody it.

2863
02:21:02,720 --> 02:21:05,320
Speaker 2: And so I've never looked at somebody's relationship and said

2864
02:21:05,320 --> 02:21:07,080
Speaker 2: I want that relation because you never know what's going

2865
02:21:07,120 --> 02:21:10,960
Speaker 2: on behind closed doors. Because everybody's gonna have challenges. And

2866
02:21:11,040 --> 02:21:13,880
Speaker 2: that's the thing, you know, it's not you don't have

2867
02:21:13,959 --> 02:21:15,960
Speaker 2: to work hard, you don't have to have struggle of

2868
02:21:16,760 --> 02:21:18,720
Speaker 2: but you will have obstacles and you have to be

2869
02:21:18,800 --> 02:21:20,720
Speaker 2: able to withstand that. And you already have to have

2870
02:21:20,800 --> 02:21:22,720
Speaker 2: a strong bond, and I think that greatest thing about

2871
02:21:22,800 --> 02:21:25,120
Speaker 2: us is that he courted me and we build a

2872
02:21:25,200 --> 02:21:28,040
Speaker 2: friendship that was outside.

2873
02:21:28,920 --> 02:21:29,680
Speaker 1: Our relationship.

2874
02:21:29,760 --> 02:21:32,400
Speaker 2: So we were already good friends and already enjoyed our

2875
02:21:32,480 --> 02:21:33,720
Speaker 2: time and being with each other.

2876
02:21:33,800 --> 02:21:36,680
Speaker 1: So it was almost like we have a friendship and

2877
02:21:36,840 --> 02:21:37,920
Speaker 1: then we have a marriage.

2878
02:21:38,640 --> 02:21:41,520
Speaker 4: A man, roy, As you conclude, what would you like

2879
02:21:41,600 --> 02:21:41,880
Speaker 4: to add?

2880
02:21:43,360 --> 02:21:43,520
Speaker 5: Did?

2881
02:21:43,640 --> 02:21:51,280
Speaker 4: Oh? Everything she said? It's done overcomplicated. Are you gonna

2882
02:21:51,280 --> 02:21:53,960
Speaker 4: stay retired? Oh? Yeah good.

2883
02:21:54,480 --> 02:21:56,560
Speaker 3: Sometimes people be retired and the next time I go

2884
02:21:56,640 --> 02:21:59,080
Speaker 3: to Walmart, you're gonna be one of them, greets them.

2885
02:21:59,120 --> 02:22:03,800
Speaker 4: Folks. Don't be me to whoop in transition.

2886
02:22:04,720 --> 02:22:08,480
Speaker 1: That's not a retire, but that's retired from to to.

2887
02:22:10,480 --> 02:22:10,640
Speaker 4: Well.

2888
02:22:10,720 --> 02:22:13,320
Speaker 3: Listen, man, thank y'all so much for blessing the people

2889
02:22:13,400 --> 02:22:15,600
Speaker 3: on the Dear Future Wifey podcast.

2890
02:22:15,840 --> 02:22:16,600
Speaker 5: I thank y'all.

2891
02:22:16,800 --> 02:22:21,000
Speaker 3: Keep loving each other well, keep building legacy, keep growing together,

2892
02:22:21,280 --> 02:22:27,000
Speaker 3: laughing together, creating crazy uh TikTok videos together, dancing together,

2893
02:22:27,520 --> 02:22:32,360
Speaker 3: cracking jokes, and not taking life so seriously, because y'all

2894
02:22:32,440 --> 02:22:34,840
Speaker 3: both know what it feels like to have lack of

2895
02:22:35,560 --> 02:22:38,520
Speaker 3: life being challenged due to health issues that you know

2896
02:22:38,920 --> 02:22:40,760
Speaker 3: y'all laughed at the devil and told them that we're

2897
02:22:40,760 --> 02:22:42,400
Speaker 3: still here, so keep doing.

2898
02:22:43,240 --> 02:22:44,039
Speaker 4: You're still here.

2899
02:22:49,400 --> 02:22:52,280
Speaker 3: In the in the in the highlight video list, y'all

2900
02:22:52,360 --> 02:22:55,680
Speaker 3: give it up, Give it up for sure to collect

2901
02:22:57,640 --> 02:23:03,320
Speaker 3: at my home. Roy Williams.

2902
02:23:03,760 --> 02:23:05,880
Speaker 4: Stay tuned to the end for a letter to my

2903
02:23:05,959 --> 02:23:06,480
Speaker 4: future wife.

2904
02:23:06,520 --> 02:23:09,119
Speaker 5: He writing these love letters.

2905
02:23:14,040 --> 02:23:18,280
Speaker 3: Ladarian thrust it suddenly into child protective services.

2906
02:23:18,320 --> 02:23:21,599
Speaker 5: In twenty fifteen, my nephew, black.

2907
02:23:22,040 --> 02:23:25,359
Speaker 3: A boy, the likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship,

2908
02:23:26,160 --> 02:23:31,360
Speaker 3: slim to none? Rmione, sixteen years old, black a boy

2909
02:23:31,840 --> 02:23:34,400
Speaker 3: with five years in the FALSI care system before I

2910
02:23:34,480 --> 02:23:35,280
Speaker 3: even knew his name.

2911
02:23:36,120 --> 02:23:39,760
Speaker 5: The likelihood have ever been adopted? Yep, you guessed it.

2912
02:23:40,480 --> 02:23:41,400
Speaker 5: Slim to none.

2913
02:23:42,959 --> 02:23:45,920
Speaker 3: While Ladarian and OURMIONI were trying to survive and barely

2914
02:23:46,040 --> 02:23:49,400
Speaker 3: thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded false care system, I

2915
02:23:49,560 --> 02:23:52,840
Speaker 3: was living my own life, doing well professionally, having been

2916
02:23:52,920 --> 02:23:55,080
Speaker 3: a single father with a daughter who at that point

2917
02:23:55,200 --> 02:23:57,520
Speaker 3: was doing well in college. It was my time to

2918
02:23:57,600 --> 02:24:04,160
Speaker 3: live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.

2919
02:24:05,120 --> 02:24:08,440
Speaker 3: There are just two many of our black children stuck

2920
02:24:08,760 --> 02:24:12,040
Speaker 3: in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falter care system.

2921
02:24:12,760 --> 02:24:15,840
Speaker 3: In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian.

2922
02:24:16,480 --> 02:24:17,760
Speaker 5: Fast forward to twenty nineteen.

2923
02:24:17,800 --> 02:24:20,000
Speaker 3: I had no ties to this other young king, but

2924
02:24:20,040 --> 02:24:23,120
Speaker 3: I felt God instructed me to adopt them also on Ilbate.

2925
02:24:24,080 --> 02:24:27,080
Speaker 3: Starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right, Working

2926
02:24:27,160 --> 02:24:29,760
Speaker 3: with various foster care and adoption agencies to help bring

2927
02:24:29,840 --> 02:24:33,040
Speaker 3: awareness to the countless young Black Kings and the Falster

2928
02:24:33,120 --> 02:24:37,280
Speaker 3: care system should have decreased My agitation. Right joined the

2929
02:24:37,320 --> 02:24:40,360
Speaker 3: board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and organization that

2930
02:24:40,440 --> 02:24:43,760
Speaker 3: helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in false care

2931
02:24:43,920 --> 02:24:45,760
Speaker 3: should have led to some type of resolve.

2932
02:24:45,920 --> 02:24:50,240
Speaker 4: Right. No, not at all. None of it felt like

2933
02:24:50,440 --> 02:24:54,120
Speaker 4: I had done enough. I now realized that.

2934
02:24:54,400 --> 02:24:58,160
Speaker 3: Every one of those experiences was land the fundamental foundation

2935
02:24:58,320 --> 02:24:59,360
Speaker 3: for my life's mission.

2936
02:25:00,320 --> 02:25:01,200
Speaker 5: Kingdom Royale.

2937
02:25:02,080 --> 02:25:04,720
Speaker 3: Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art

2938
02:25:04,800 --> 02:25:07,960
Speaker 3: home for foster boys. Our first location will be in

2939
02:25:08,000 --> 02:25:09,600
Speaker 3: the Dallas Fortwork Metroplex.

2940
02:25:09,720 --> 02:25:12,160
Speaker 4: We will utilize the whole person approach that.

2941
02:25:12,280 --> 02:25:16,600
Speaker 3: Instills identity, empowers them to advocate for themselves, and enlightens

2942
02:25:16,680 --> 02:25:20,680
Speaker 3: them regarding new perspectives and limitless options that they thought

2943
02:25:20,959 --> 02:25:25,040
Speaker 3: were impossible. Though the young kings will attend the local

2944
02:25:25,120 --> 02:25:28,640
Speaker 3: public schools that are in proximity to Kingdom Royal. Our

2945
02:25:28,760 --> 02:25:32,320
Speaker 3: at home curriculum will broaden their worldview through participating in

2946
02:25:32,400 --> 02:25:36,480
Speaker 3: the arts, attending various cultural events, learning about and engaging

2947
02:25:36,600 --> 02:25:41,520
Speaker 3: in multifaceted discussions about current events and even relevant historical contexts,

2948
02:25:41,920 --> 02:25:45,440
Speaker 3: Introducing them to gardening and landscaping, and even caring for

2949
02:25:45,560 --> 02:25:47,680
Speaker 3: our animals on our form.

2950
02:25:47,640 --> 02:25:48,760
Speaker 4: And on site stables.

2951
02:25:49,520 --> 02:25:52,920
Speaker 3: We just launched our startup capital campaign with the goal

2952
02:25:52,959 --> 02:25:54,600
Speaker 3: of raising two point eight million dollars.

2953
02:25:54,640 --> 02:25:56,040
Speaker 4: Now why two point eight million dollars?

2954
02:25:56,920 --> 02:25:57,080
Speaker 5: Well.

2955
02:25:57,120 --> 02:25:59,440
Speaker 3: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

2956
02:25:59,480 --> 02:26:01,959
Speaker 3: I performed random acts of kindness.

2957
02:26:01,760 --> 02:26:03,400
Speaker 5: For targeting the homeless community.

2958
02:26:03,680 --> 02:26:05,920
Speaker 3: One of the most notable successes was that one of

2959
02:26:05,959 --> 02:26:10,240
Speaker 3: the videos went viral, garnering twenty eight million views.

2960
02:26:10,800 --> 02:26:12,679
Speaker 4: However, one of my biggest.

2961
02:26:12,360 --> 02:26:14,800
Speaker 3: Regrets is that I didn't raise a single dollar to

2962
02:26:14,920 --> 02:26:19,440
Speaker 3: help in implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community. So,

2963
02:26:19,600 --> 02:26:23,600
Speaker 3: throughout the years, with much remorse, I reflect that I'm

2964
02:26:23,640 --> 02:26:26,600
Speaker 3: not maximizing that moment. I knew if at that time

2965
02:26:27,200 --> 02:26:30,160
Speaker 3: just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar, we

2966
02:26:30,240 --> 02:26:33,680
Speaker 3: would have raised at least two point eight million dollars

2967
02:26:33,840 --> 02:26:36,280
Speaker 3: that could have really established long term support for the

2968
02:26:36,320 --> 02:26:40,080
Speaker 3: homeless community, or at least started a long term initiative

2969
02:26:40,120 --> 02:26:40,480
Speaker 3: to do so.

2970
02:26:41,560 --> 02:26:45,640
Speaker 4: This is my do over, this is our new beginning.

2971
02:26:45,800 --> 02:26:49,279
Speaker 3: Together, we can attack this at the route by specifically

2972
02:26:49,440 --> 02:26:54,560
Speaker 3: helping our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented

2973
02:26:54,760 --> 02:26:56,400
Speaker 3: in the American fossil care system.

2974
02:26:57,120 --> 02:26:58,359
Speaker 4: I'm the terisar Wwiidfield.

2975
02:26:58,360 --> 02:27:01,760
Speaker 3: I've been nominated for three reasonal Emmys documenting my work

2976
02:27:01,800 --> 02:27:04,720
Speaker 3: with the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey.

2977
02:27:05,320 --> 02:27:09,720
Speaker 3: Despite those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly

2978
02:27:09,879 --> 02:27:10,520
Speaker 3: providing the.

2979
02:27:10,640 --> 02:27:13,200
Speaker 5: Infrastructure for a transformed life.

2980
02:27:14,320 --> 02:27:17,959
Speaker 3: Visit Kingdomroyal dot com for more details Crown of king

2981
02:27:18,800 --> 02:27:28,520
Speaker 3: and make a donation today. I know this episode was

2982
02:27:28,560 --> 02:27:30,959
Speaker 3: pretty long, so I'm not going to be labor the point.

2983
02:27:31,640 --> 02:27:33,959
Speaker 3: Here's my favorite part of the podcast where I speak

2984
02:27:34,000 --> 02:27:38,920
Speaker 3: to my future wifey. Dear future Wifey, Let's make laughter

2985
02:27:39,040 --> 02:27:42,800
Speaker 3: the soundtrack of our marriage, the melody that feels the

2986
02:27:43,000 --> 02:27:45,840
Speaker 3: error between our words. I want our home to echo

2987
02:27:45,920 --> 02:27:49,520
Speaker 3: with joy, the hum with spontaneous giggles and inside jokes.

2988
02:27:49,640 --> 02:27:50,840
Speaker 4: Only we understand.

2989
02:27:51,360 --> 02:27:54,000
Speaker 3: I won't laughter to be our default setting when life

2990
02:27:54,120 --> 02:27:58,120
Speaker 3: tries to throw static into our frequency. May our living

2991
02:27:58,200 --> 02:28:01,280
Speaker 3: room be a stage for playful teasing. Our kitchen a

2992
02:28:01,360 --> 02:28:05,160
Speaker 3: comedy club where we dance to burnt toasting, bad singing.

2993
02:28:06,160 --> 02:28:10,480
Speaker 3: Let's make humor holy, not to mask pain, but to

2994
02:28:10,600 --> 02:28:14,520
Speaker 3: redeem it. Because when we laugh, even tears lose their

2995
02:28:14,640 --> 02:28:19,640
Speaker 3: power to wound us. Let laughter underscore every argument we resolve,

2996
02:28:19,840 --> 02:28:25,280
Speaker 3: every memory we create, every ordinary Tuesday that becomes extraordinary

2997
02:28:25,480 --> 02:28:29,440
Speaker 3: simply because it happened with you. I don't want silence

2998
02:28:29,480 --> 02:28:31,120
Speaker 3: to score our lives.

2999
02:28:31,160 --> 02:28:32,240
Speaker 4: I want laughter.

3000
02:28:33,440 --> 02:28:36,520
Speaker 3: To the kind that erupts mid sentence, the kind that

3001
02:28:36,879 --> 02:28:40,440
Speaker 3: heals mid heartache. That sound will be the music of

3002
02:28:40,560 --> 02:28:47,600
Speaker 3: our love, timeless, contagious, and sacred your future, Hoby.

3003
02:28:48,160 --> 02:28:50,520
Speaker 5: I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future

3004
02:28:50,560 --> 02:28:56,360
Speaker 5: WIFEI podcast. Remember beltch live intentionally and transparently, and don't

3005
02:28:56,400 --> 02:28:59,400
Speaker 5: stop loving. Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future

3006
02:28:59,400 --> 02:29:00,440
Speaker 5: Wife you need to channel.

3007
02:29:00,600 --> 02:29:04,080
Speaker 3: We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher.

3008
02:29:04,360 --> 02:29:05,400
Speaker 4: Be welcome your support.

3009
02:29:05,640 --> 02:29:07,920
Speaker 5: Simply share our podcast with your friends and family.